


I'm Gonna Miss You, Too

by TiburonWriter



Series: Eat Me Drink Me [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Bromance, Canon Era, Canon Related, College, Comedy, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Road Trips, Romance, Sex, Skype Sex, bipolar, bipolar II of a minor character, platonic blam, seblaine, sebtana - platonic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-15
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-01 14:51:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 554,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiburonWriter/pseuds/TiburonWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <img/>
</p><p>A dramedy serial with some elements of "When Harry Met Sally."  Canon to 5x13 (Seblaine's  graduation from high school).  After the initial burn of the cancelled Klaine wedding, Blaine takes a gap year and Sebastian starts at Stanford.</p><p>Blaine's learning to be on his own and is trying his best not to care if he's not perfect.  Big Bad Seb is gonna have to learn how to actually be in a relationship.  Lots of love letters, roommate shenanigans, and Skype/texts. Christmas, Spring, and Summer breaks are of course pivotal!  There's angst in here, too, but platonic Sebtana, Blam, Cooper and others provide significant comic relief. Seblaine endgame.</p><p>(P.S. I've embedded images that I collected before I was writing fanfiction.  I can't find the sources for some, so if you see something that's yours please let me know and I will credit you or remove!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> ****  
> PROLOGUE
> 
> For those of you who don't have time or inclination to read the [prequel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1011620/) to this fic, here is a great summary of it written by beta readers Dori and Thomas, in the style of the canon lead-in segments, "Here's what you missed on Glee."
> 
> So, here's what you missed in "Stop the Wedding." Sebastian shows up to see Blaine on the day before the Klaine wedding and is all "I'm still in love with you and you're too young to get married, yada yada yada." Blaine is like "Seriously? You're telling me this now?!" The Meerkat hits where it hurts when he says Blaine tries to be too perfect and wants Klaine to be too perfect, so Blaine gets all mad at him. But then Sebastian brings a touching wedding present, including a sweet duet they sang when Klaine was broken up. So Blaine feels all confused and starts drinking a lot. Then Jesse St. James, who is there to write an article on Rachel, flirts with a very drunk Blaine. Wait, What? Yep it turns out Jesse swings both ways and takes a liking to Blaine; just like everyone else on Glee.
> 
> Then Cooper, who has apparently became a big Sebastian stan (after Seb hung out with the Andersonbros while Klaine was broken up), urges Blaine to clear the air with Seb before the wedding. So Blaine goes to Sebastian's house and overhears him sing a super romantic song with Blaine's name in it; and if that was not enough to make his heart wrench, Blaine then hears Sebastian passionately tell Nick the Warbler all the reasons why he is in love with Blaine. This brings Blaine to tears and now he is even more confused.
> 
> So then Blaine gets super crazy drunk and Jesse St. James tries to seduce him the night before the wedding and then Blaine blacks out and remembers nothing the next morning. The next morning Burt and Kurt discuss if the wedding is the best idea, and both Kurt AND Blaine suspect something happened with Jesse. Sebastian tries to cover for Blaine but Kurt's not buying it. Finally just when Blaine is about to confess to something he did not do, Jesse shows up to tell everyone that nothing happened.
> 
> Sam is his awesome self and has a heart to heart with Blaine. Kurt and Blaine have a heart to heart and mutually decide to call off the wedding and break up. They decide if they are meant to be they will find their way back to each other. Although Sebastian is like totally in love with Blaine he puts those feelings aside and tries to just be a comfort to Blaine who is devastated after all of this. But at least he delivered on the fic title! And that's what you missed in "Stop The Wedding!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seb's being grouchy, but Blaine, as always, finds a way in.

"Do you really need this scrub thingy?" Sam groaned.

"God forbid they give up on their gayface skincare ritual," Sebastian muttered as he threw a backpack violently into the backseat of his car.

Only Nick waited politely, without a word.

"He should be here any minute, guys." Blaine said with his big, pleading eyes. "He said that he was going to be here before eight o'clock."

A moment later, the Hummel SUV was seen coming down the road and Blaine exhaled in relief.

Kurt climbed out of the car and handed Blaine a tube of boutique spa facial scrub. "Here you go! I can only imagine how hard it would be to find this while on a road trip through the Heartland."

"Thanks," Blaine said, eyes shining.

Sam, Nick and Sebastian stood waiting. Sam and Nick looked awkward; Sebastian looked bored.

"Hi guys," Kurt said, looking a bit uneasy.

"Hey," Sam said with an uncomfortable smile.

"Hi Kurt," Nick waved awkwardly.

"Hello, Kurt…" Sebastian said without expression, arms crossed.

Kurt eyed Sebastian warily. "Well, I should let you guys go. Goodbye, Nick and Sebastian. Good luck in college. Sam, have fun on this trip and in Scotland – take care of Blaine. My dad said he could pick you guys up at the airport when you come back, just email him the flight info. I'll be back in New York by then."

"Goodbye, Kurt." Sebastian saluted him with a smirk and got in his BMW.

"Thanks man," Nick gave him a quick hug and jumped into his car.

Kurt hugged Sam hard. "Bye, Sam - I'm excited for your big adventure with Blaine." Sam hugged him back, then got into Sebastian's car.

Blaine turned to face Kurt.

Sam said apprehensively to Sebastian, "Uh, Sebastian you know we don't have to wait for them."

"Whatever," Sebastian said in a monotone, glaring out his open window at Kurt and Blaine.

Kurt and Blaine took each other's hands.

Nick's head popped back out of the car and he spoke loudly. "Hey Blaine, I didn't even ask you, do you want to drive the first shift?"

Blaine answered without taking his eyes off of Kurt's face. "No, you're there already, you can start."

Nick called again, "Blaine what do you want to listen to first?"

Blaine ignored him.

Kurt said, "Be safe. Call me?"

Blaine squeezed his hand. "I'll call you as soon as I get there."

Sebastian swallowed and started looking pissed off.

Kurt said to Blaine with a concerned smile, "Call me from the road."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. He couldn't watch any more. The BMW pealed out of the driveway without warning, sending up gravel and causing Sam to yelp as he was nearly choked by his seatbelt.

Blaine and Kurt hugged. Nick leaned on the horn "accidentally," and Blaine got in. And they were off.

* * *

After settling in, Blaine drew a deep breath and said to Nick, "So…you said it should take us four days to get there, five if we decide to be more leisurely." He took a sip of his coffee. "Let's have a look at our options, assuming Sebastian is going to refuse to cancel the expensive hotel rooms he's picked along the way. Opening the map, he smiled slowly as the reality of their adventure sank in. "This should be pretty cool, actually. I'm glad Sam talked me into making this trip with you guys."

"Me too," Nick smiled. They proceeded to review the route and chat about what Nick's new life at USC might include. The plan was for Sam and Blaine to go down with him to get him settled after they all did some sightseeing in San Francisco and dropped off Sebastian at Stanford.

Nick and Blaine's old friendship was bolstered as they discussed their plans and then transitioned into singing along to "Moves Like Jagger." While they were belting out "Iko Iko" by the Belle Stars however, Blaine's phone buzzed with a text from Sam:

 _SAM:_ _Dude, I'm dying over here. Sebastian has barely been talking to me this whole time - it's so awkward. And I just spilled like all of his coffee, so I'm pretty sure he's gonna kill me before we get to the next rest stop._

 _BLAINE:_ _Oh no! Did he get it on his clothes? And yeah he's a kind grumpy until he has his coffee. Just hang in there until we can stop to get him more. Turn on some music – try some 80's rock._

 _SAM:_ _We are already playing music, nothing is working. He barked at me to pick a song, so I tried to cheer him up with a little Eric Carmen…"Make Me Lose Control." Perfect road trip song, right? Who doesn't love that song?!_

 _BLAINE:_ _Turn that off! 80's ROCK, not 80's pop! Big Country. Or anything by U2._

Blaine gave Nick the update and said worriedly, "I knew I should have gotten in the car with Seb for the first leg. He can be kind of a grouch in the morning. And there's no place around here that will have Courvoisier…"

Nick nodded in agreement. "Yeah, when we thought we could finish the trip planning this morning, we didn't really think it through, did we? Poor Sam. Sebastian is such a clean freak about his car AND his clothes. Then you add the caffeine withdrawal and it's gotta be a…"

"DISASTER," they said together.

 _**SAM:** _ _Okay Big Country seems to have chilled him out a little. You still have to switch places with me!_

 _**BLAINE:** _ _When we see a coffee place. I'm sure we'll see one soon. Start researching it on your phone and tell Seb what his options are. Don't take any of this personally. He's just cranky until he gets his coffee._

Blaine updated Nick again. "I swear you are like the only person who knows how to handle Sebastian when he gets like that," Nick said. "He really came close to pulling off Warbler homicide a few times when we travelled to perform."

"I don't mind," Blaine said with fondness. "It's the least I can do, he's been great at supporting me these last several weeks since my…almost-wedding." He still felt a pang when he had to say it out loud.

Nick patted his shoulder. "So you and Sebastian have spent a lot of time together since then, huh?"

"Almost every day," Blaine said with a small smile. "He's just been one of the easiest people to be with – he's been really sweet in his own way, and more relaxed than everyone else. My parents, Tina, even Sam have been just a little nervous or overbearing a lot of the time. Honestly, Seb has been my best friend lately, listening to me about everything. Plus we've pretty much lived at the lake everyday and managed to have some fun out there and even had some great talks about stuff besides all the wedding drama. Plus he was a huge help in researching my options for this year. He was so supportive when I was freaking out about declining NYADA, and then again after we figured out that all the top programs wouldn't take late admits. He was so calm and reassuring, and then he figured out that Scotland has some great second tier programs. He wanted me to be close enough to occasionally audition for West End shows down in London. I was resigning myself to second tier geographies like Chicago or Boston or San Francisco, but he said I should be near London if I didn't want to be auditioning in New York." He paused to confide, his voice shaking just the tiniest bit. "I'm really going to miss him."

Nick gave him a sympathetic smile, but didn't say anything. He thought about how easy it would have been for Sebastian to hook Blaine into spending the year in San Francisco, just 30 minutes from Stanford. He bit his lip and looked at the horizon, wondering whether his two friends would ever align.

* * *

When Sebastian had gotten his coffee and changed his shirt and pants, he appeared a bit calmer. Blaine joined him in the BMW anyway, giving Sam's shoulder a sympathetic squeeze as they switched places.

As they drove off, Blaine said with efficiency and dispatch, "So I made a timetable of the locations and times when we can change driving shifts."

Sebastian didn't comment.

"So what song would you like to hear first, Seb? We have to have an awesome soundtrack for our last few days together!"

Sebastian grunted and guzzled his coffee. "You pick a song. Anything but that godforsaken "Turn the Radio Up" song."

Blaine played some Jason Mraz, knowing it was Sebastian's favorite when he wanted to be mellow. The song he chose was one he knew Sebastian put on sometimes when his father was driving him up the wall:

[[Click here to listen](http://youtube.com/watch?v=tmoj0FnqFe8)]

 _Calm down_  
_Deep breaths_  
_And get yourself dressed instead_  
_Of running around_  
_And pulling on your threads_  
_And breaking yourself up_

 _If it's a broken part, replace it_  
_If it's a broken arm, then brace it_  
_If it's a broken heart, then face it_

 _And hold your own_  
_Know your name  
_ _And go your own way_

 _Hold your own_  
_Know your name_  
_And go your own way_  
_And everything will be fine_

The problem was, Sebastian was already relatively calm. The song just took him to an even sadder, darker place than he already was.

In the passenger seat, Blaine was obliviously waxing both nostalgic and playful. "Mr. Sebastian Smythe," he said in his best reporter's voice, "We are at a momentous crossroads. Tell me the story of your life and what the most pivotal points were. Furthermore, tell me how those pivotal points led you to this very spot on the interstate, headed for sunny California and one of the most prestigious universities in the world."

Sebastian turned to look at Blaine wearily. "You sound like a fucking admissions essay."

"We've got 4 days to kill before we hit San Francisco, take your time…" Blaine put his hands behind his head and his feet on the dashboard.

"Get your feet off my dash." Sebastian said, swatting at his legs. "And the story of my life isn't even going to get us out of Ohio because nothing's happened to me yet. That's why I'm going to California."

"So something can happen to you?" Blaine asked

"Yes."

"Like what?"

"Like…I can graduate from Stanford and work for a couple of years and get my MBA to make millions in the Silicon Valley and force those idiots to wear a proper suit to work every day."

"I think the reason those guys have made millions in the Silicon Valley has something to do with the fact that they refuse to wear a proper suit to work every day."

They sat in silence for a moment.

Sebastian gripped the steering wheel tightly and glared at the road. "Or maybe I'll hate it and I end up one of those middle manager guys with trust funds and oh-so-slight beer bellies and flashy cars, paintball addictions, and tacky designer clothes that are much too expensive for where they are in the corporate food chain."

Blaine smiled at him fondly. "You know that's not going to happen. If you hate it, you'll leave them all behind and do something else that you will inevitably excel at." He smiled again.

"Do you ever get tired of being so goddamned optimistic? You and Cooper, both of you! Your dad and mom seem so normal, but the two of you…it's like you have no dark side… if you were chicks you both would dot your i's with little hearts."

"SOMEONE'S still got the morning grumps," Blaine chided. He added with a pout, "And I have just as much of a dark side as the next person."

Sebastian retorted with a roll of his eyes, "Just because you can sing a Kelly Clarkson song about it? Please. When I buy a new book I always read the last page first. That way in case I die before I finish I know how it ends. That, Killer, is a dark side."

Blaine replied loftily, "Yes Seb, you have shown me your dark side on more than one occasion. But that doesn't mean you're deeper than me or anything. I mean...yes, basically I try to be a happy person ...but I don't see that there's anything wrong with that."

Sebastian grimly turned to look at him. "Of course you don't find anything wrong with that, you're too busy being happy to find anything." He stopped and searched for another argument. "Do you ever think about death?"

"Yes."

Sebastian sipped from this coffee again. "Sure you do, a fleeting thought that jumps in and out of the transient of your mind. I've spent hours, days..."

Blaine said with disdain, "And you think that makes you a better person."

Sebastian shrugged. "Look, when the shit comes down I'm gonna be prepared and you're not, that's all I'm saying."

"And in the meantime you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it," Blaine said irritably.

* * *

"You're wrong."

Sebastian was calm and firm. "I'm not wrong, he would never take her back."

Blaine threw a hand up wildly. "You're wrong! I can't believe I finally got you to watch _Gone with the Wind_ with me, and you don't even get it."

Sebastian shook his head. "He knows that as long as that Ashley guy is around, he's always going to play second fiddle. And now Melanie's dead, and Ashley's going to get over his grief and stop teasing Scarlett finally. So of course he's not going to take her back. She's too exhausting. Plus she reminds him of Bonnie."

Blaine argued passionately, "But it's so obvious when she turns around that she loves him more than Ashley!"

Sebastian shrugged. "I don't know, she just looked like she was feeling guilty to me."

Blaine couldn't believe his ears. "How could you not see it on her face?!"

"I did see it. I saw guilt."

"ARRRGH!"

* * *

"2 more hours 'til dinner?"

"Yep."

"You think Blaine's yelling at him yet?"

"Yeah."

"Heh."

* * *

"I understand."

"What?"

Sebastian parked and got out of the car. "Nothing."

"What? Just tell me." Blaine said.

Sebastian waved his hand dismissively as he locked the car. "Forget about it."

Blaine was increasingly curious. "Seb come on, forget about what?"

Sebastian shook his head. "It's not important."

"No, just tell me."

Sebastian opened the restaurant door and didn't bother lowering his voice. "It's just obvious from what you were saying that you have never had really great sex."

Blaine blushed furiously. Sam and Nick walked in behind them and raised their eyebrows at him.

"Four, please." Sebastian said to the hostess.

They were seated immediately, but Blaine was glad that Nick and Sam headed for the restroom right away.

Blaine argued in a fierce whisper, "Yes I have."

Sebastian looked at the menu and asked absentmindedly, "Yes you have what?"

"Yes I have had great sex!" Blaine said violently under his breath.

Sebastian looked at him with amusement. "No, you haven't."

Blaine said too loudly, "It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex."

The whole restaurant looked at Blaine.

Blaine ducked his head so low he nearly knocked it at the table. Sebastian laughed. " With Kurt?"

"Of course with Kurt!" Blaine whispered.

"No, no, you did not have great sex with ... Kurt Hummel."

"Shh! I did too."

Sebastian laughed. "No you didn't. If you need a hideous woman's brooch for your garage sale blazer or a bronzer for your very tan hands, Kurt's your man. But thrusting and nailing you into the mattress is not Hummel's strong suit. Half of the problem is his name. He is named both after a pre-pubescent yodeling character and pottery figurines sold on EBay by overweight garage sale ladies. Anyone with a name like that categorically could not have had great sex with you. 'Do it to me, Kurt! You're an animal, Hummel! Ride me big Kurt!' It doesn't work." Sebastian chuckled again. "And weren't you afraid our little porcelain friend was going to break every time you tried to slam him into the headboard?"

Blaine was so appalled that he was rendered speechless.

"Oh, don't look at me that way, it doesn't take a genius to deduce that you topped like, what 95% of the time?"

"SEBASTIAN!"

"What was it more like 98 or 99%? Oh, and don't get me started on the faces he must have made during sex. I gotta hand it to you B, it must have been incredibly difficult for you to keep your hard-on while looking at that."

Nick and Sam returned to the table. They both looked with questioning eyes at Blaine, who was still blushing furiously and glowering at Sebastian. Sebastian stood up smirking and headed to the restroom without a word.

"What was that?" Sam asked.

"Nothing," Blaine huffed, crossing his arms.

"He's been kind of a jerk this whole trip, hasn't he?" Nick said, with a worried look.

Blaine sighed, "3 days running. I don't get it, we only have a couple of days before we have to say goodbye, and we should be having fun…"

Nick looked thoughtful. "You know, right before Sebastian's grandmother died, he almost stopped visiting her."

"What?" Blaine looked surprised. "I thought he was really close to both of his grandmothers."

"That's right," Nick said. "So I wasn't surprised that when he found out his late grandmother's health was declining, he got really cold and distant with all the guys. I figured he was starting to mourn. But then that same week, I found him in senior commons studying on Tuesday afternoon, at the time he always used to go visit her. I asked him why he wasn't going there, and he said some weird stuff about how his parents were going to visit her, and that he didn't really want to see her anyway because she could be a pain when she wasn't feeling well. It's like he was pushing her away because he knew he was going to lose her. I made him go anyway."

Sam looked baffled. "I totally lost you, man. What does this have to do with Blaine?"

"He's saying that he thinks Seb is being a jerk to me because he has to say goodbye to me this week." Blaine furrowed his brow. "But I don't know, Nick. I'm not his grandmother. And I think his royal highness is just is not built for roadtrips – the bad coffee, he's probably stiff from driving – it all just brings out the inner jackass that we all know has been a part of Sebastian Smythe since birth."

"Dude!" Sam interrupted, poking Blaine.

"What?" Blaine asked.

"Don't turn around too quick, but there is a guy behind and to the left of you…and he's totally checking you out."

Blaine turned around.

"Don't turn around so fast! And he's to my left, not yours!" Sam was aggravated.

"Hold on," Nick said calmly, "Let me confirm."

Nick stood up and glanced over before bending down to pretend to tie his shoe. "Oh Blaine, Sam is not exaggerating. He is absolutely checking you out. Who knew we'd find you an openly gay guy out here in Utah?"

"There are probably about as many of them in Utah as there are in Ohio," Blaine said dryly. He pretended to work a kink out in his neck so he could turn his head slightly to catch a glimpse of the man. "No."

"What do you mean, 'no?' Come on, you need a rebound guy!" Sam argued loudly. "We could totally just stop driving early and I could get a rollaway bed in Seb and Nick's room tonight!"

"Whoa whoa whoa! Oh my god, no!" Blaine cried. "No! And even if I did want a rebound guy, it wouldn't be him. Look at how he's dressed!"

Nick looked puzzled. "He's wearing a very nice polo and jeans, Blaine."

Sam added, "And he's got a good body. What's wrong with him? You want to do me and he's dressed nicer than I am most days."

Nick raised his eyebrows as Blaine glared at Sam.

"What, you don't want to do me anymore?!" Sam asked, almost disappointed.

Nick laughed, but then remembered Sebastian. "Um, Sam…"

"You're thinking about Kurt, aren't you? You aren't used to guys who don't dress like Kurt!" Sam was saying, with a serious look on his face. "Blaine you aren't gonna move on from this break-up if all you do is compare every guy to Kurt."

Sebastian returned to the table, giving an inquiring look to Blaine, who was looking guilty. Blaine looked away.

* * *

That afternoon, Blaine went running on a muddy path along the river with Sam, who insisted that they get some "bro time."

By the time they hit about a mile, Blaine was sure Sam was beating around the bush about something. "Okay, tell me what you are dying to talk about," he said with a tiny bit of irritation.

"Ok. Ok Blaine, remember I'm just saying all of this out of love." Sam wrinkled his forehead, wishing that Santana was there to articulate things clearly and bluntly. "I'm worried about you. That whole thing back at the restaurant…"

"What, Sebastian acting like a tool?"

"No. This is about you. I am just thinking that you aren't really letting go of Kurt, even if you are supposed to be broken up. You guys were still holding hands when we left town. You call him, and only him, every night. You can't see that a guy is attractive even when two straight guys like Nick and me can see it. I'm worried about you, dude."

"Look Sam, I appreciate your concern. I'm fine. These things just take time. I mean Kurt was my best friend for three years, so I'm always going to want to have him in my life – even if it's just as friends for now." Blaine ran faster, fixing his gaze on at a tree across the water.

"I get it," panted Sam, trying to keep up. "And yes you should have him in your life – he's a great guy. Just not now." He looked at Blaine with a sympathetic smile. "You're never going to move on unless you stop talking to him for awhile. How will you ever be attracted to someone else if you are talking to Kurt every day?

Blaine didn't answer.

Sam continued. "Brittany and I decided to stop talking after we broke up, and yes it sucks. But Mercedes and I did too, and it turned out great. She and I talk all the time now, since we gave ourselves some distance."

"Well it's different…"

"It's not that different, man." Sam said, nearly bumping into a family carrying a kayak.

Blaine ran on without a word for a minute.

"And Blaine," he said seriously, "If you take a break from talking to Kurt to date other guys, it doesn't automatically mean that you and Kurt won't end up together."

Blaine's eyes filled with tears.

Sam didn't see them. "It's just if you keep talking to him every day, Kurt's going to constantly be kinda right there at the top of your mind. And that's gonna keep you from thinking any other guy can be as great as him."

Blaine looked sad. "Well I doubt anyone else _can_ be as great as him."

Sam slowed their pace. "You can't really know that unless you give some other guys – or at least one other guy – a fair shake. And you aren't giving anyone a chance if you're talking with Kurt all the time."

Blaine kept running, silently acknowledging his logic but not wanting to admit it.

"And hey, we can have fun doing this! I can be your wingman!" Sam looked thoughtful. "Oh wait, that will be hard, because they'll probably want me first, you know, because of my abs and stuff. Oh but that's okay, I'll lure them in, but because I'm straight they'll have to accept that they can't have me, so then I can hand them off to you!"

Blaine pushed him sideways into the river.

* * *

After dinner that night, Sam pulled Nick aside. "It worked! It took some convincing and I got some weird moss stuff in my shorts, but he's calling Kurt right now to cut off contact for awhile."

Nick was learning to just not ask Sam about certain things he said. "That's great! How'd you do it?"

"Oh I don't know, Blaine and I just have a good connection - we're like Wolverine and Cyclops!"

"Well ever since we got here, I can't even get Sebastian to sit still long enough for me to have a real conversation with him. He keeps taking off on me. So he's more like The Flash or something."

"Ooh, the Flash is awesome! Which one, Wally or Barry Allen?!"

"Sam, FOCUS."

"Sorry, dude. So no luck?"

"No, I only got to talk to him really fast, and he doesn't even think he's being a jerk to Blaine."

Sam suggested, "Maybe if you go with him on his run tomorrow morning...it worked for me." Then he stopped and grinned. "Of course you might not be able to keep up with him if he is The Flash!"

Nick rolled his eyes.

* * *

The hotel they stayed at for the last night of the road trip was the most expensive – Sebastian dropped upwards of $400/night for beautiful suites, complaining that he wanted to sleep on a decent mattress. They had planned this and made sure they arrived by midafternoon to enjoy the hotel's spa amenities fully. Besides working out in the gym and getting massages, they were all eager to swim and lounge by the pool.

Sebastian came down from his shower first and immediately commandeered the last available cabana. Nick tossed his towel and IPad on the second chaise lounge in the cabana. "Yes, you have to share," he said with a pointed look at his friend.

Sam spread his towel down on the next chaise lounge over from Nick's, and Blaine sat down next to Sam's chaise at the edge of the group. He started applying sunblock, but Nick, Sam and Sebastian dove in the pool immediately.

Sam and Nick started swimming vigorously, splashing each other. Sebastian floated on his back, enjoying the stretch of his back muscles after the hours of driving.

After a minute or two of swimming, Nick felt a poke on his shoulder.

"Nick, look!" Sam said urgently as he tread water.

"What?" Nick whipped around to stare.

Sam grinned. "See, getting Blaine to stop talking to Kurt worked. Blaine's staring at Sebastian!"

Nick squinted to see why Blaine would be staring, and quickly surmised the reason. Sebastian had clearly just emerged out of the pool, and Nick had to admit that his Warbler buddy pretty much resembled a gratuitous eye-candy shot in any number of cheesy teen movies. Water was dripping from Sebastian's classically handsome profile, off his tanned, toned chest and broad shoulders, and down his well-muscled legs. It was enough to make Nick roll his eyes. Sebastian was all smooth, wet skin, strong muscles and relaxed confidence. His designer board shorts hung just low enough to highlight a light trail of golden brown body hair from his taut abs downwards, but not high enough to conceal hipbones Nick knew women fawned over. To top it off, Sebastian's perfectly tousled hair was glistening golden brown in the sunshine and there was a light swing in his walk as he crossed the deck barefoot past a group of college girls. He was a guy who knew what his assets were and wasn't too modest to swagger a bit because of them. Nick rolled his eyes again as Sebastian flashed the girls a charming smile, causing whispers and giggles in the face of his charisma.

"That cheeky fucker loves to pass for straight just for sport," Nick said with a laugh. "He pissed off most of the Dalton guys on a regular basis at the Crawford Country Day parties. He'd get bored, go charm all the girls, and then out himself, leaving the poor things too devastated to even look at the other guys. Or if any of the girls did give any of us the time of day, you knew they were comparing you to Mr. Rakishly Handsome Ratbastard over there."

Sam was focused on his best friend. Blaine was staring at Sebastian from afar, trying to be discreet but not able to restrain a faint smile on his face as he loosely gripped his sunblock. Sebastian pulled his towel from the shaded cabana and spread it out on a chaise lounge more directly in the sun. He lay down on his back, closing his eyes and flexing his biceps as he put his hands behind his head. Blaine pulled his knees up to his chest, visibly sighed, and continued to watch, almost as if in a trance.

"Yep, now that he's not talking to Kurt anymore, he's totally checking Sebastian out," Sam laughing with delight.

Nick laughed, "Yeah, but that's been going' on for awhile. If you asked me, those two staring at each other has never had anything to do with if Blaine was talking with Kurt or not. Seeing Seb stare at Blaine is a pretty hilarious sight, too. Mr. Slick is all fond smiles and gooey eyes - that is, when he doesn't look like he's running a porn movie starring him and Blaine through his head." Nick mused, "Sebastian and Blaine always did have chemistry, from day one. But I will give you this - I don't think Blaine's ever let himself look for that long!"

Sam clapped his hands, scattering drops of water. "So we're moving forward! Awesome!"

* * *

The next morning, Sebastian was late coming down, having gone for an extra long run which translated into a later shower.

"I'm telling you," Nick said, "I think he's being a douchebag because he's freaking out about saying goodbye to you."

"I still don't think so," Blaine argued. "I still think he's just been grouchy from the travel. He seems a little nicer now that we're at this nice hotel, right? Last night he didn't even complain about the old movie we picked from Redbox."

"That's only because he thinks Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid were absolutely a gay couple. Didn't he tell you he owns that movie?"

Sam said, "Oh man, now it's like a different movie in my head now!"

"In fact," Nick smiled slyly, "I think he's said on more than on one occasion that Blaine would be the perfect Sundance Kid to his Butch…and…well, I'll spare you the details."

Blaine blushed.

Sebastian approached the table. "You guys look like you were just talking about sex. That's Blaine's sex-talk blush." He cocked his head to one side. "Are we still discussing what a pathetic lover Hummel was?"

Blaine and Nick reproached him at once: "SEBASTIAN!"

"What? It's so obvious, the way he carries himself, even in the way he dances. He's stiff in the hips. And he's obviously got no cardio stamina."

Blaine blushed red again.

"Sebastian, they just broke their _engagement,_ like 5 minutes ago!" Nick admonished.

"I just want reassure him. So he knows that 'it gets better'!" Sebastian said, looking wicked. "For example, it would be light years better with me."

"SEBASTIAN!"

Sebastian responded without looking up from his menu. "I'm not hitting on Blaine! You three are like the Sisters of Perpetual Prudery. Can't a man enlighten you of his sexual prowess without it being a come-on? I mean, lacrosse alone gives me stamina for three men! Not to mention my morning runs, tennis, fencing, golf, the odd pick up soccer or baseball game…" Sebastian mentally checked off his athletic pursuits, but he could feel his three friends still looking at him with derision. He looked up innocently at them. "Alright, alright, let's just say just for the sake of argument that it was a come-on. What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, ok? I take it back."

Blaine folded his arms, glaring at him. "You can't take it back."

"Why not?" Sebastian asked, sticking out his lower lip.

"Because it's already out there," Nick interjected.

"Oh no! What are we supposed to do, call the cops? It's already out there!" Sebastian mocked. Nick smacked him upside the head. Sebastian shoved him back, grinning.

Blaine held up a hand. "Just stop. Just let it lie, ok?"

Sebastian tried to look serious. "Sure. Let it lie. I can do that. Let it lie, let it lie…" He paused, then grinned again. "Want to help me christen my Stanford dorm bed?"

"SEBASTIAN!"

"See what I did? I didn't let it lie." Sebastian laughed. Nick started pummeling him and Sebastian beat back at him.

"Yes, Blaine – Sebastian seems SO much nicer now," Nick said, shaking his head.

Blaine sighed. "Sebastian, I just broke up with Kurt. I'm trying to move on, and it is not easy for me. Can you just be my friend?"

Sebastian was finally chastened by Blaine's tone. "Okay, okay, okay," he said, patting Blaine's shoulder. "Sorry," he muttered.

* * *

While Sebastian checked out at the hotel front desk, the others conducted a serious round of Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide seating for the first driving shift of the day. Blaine lost. "Yes! Blaine has to ride with Sebastian!" Nick and Sam chest-bumped.

After about 15 minutes on the road, Sebastian was still sipping his coffee meditatively. "You realize of course that I can't actually 'just be your friend.'"

"We're already friends," Blaine said, sounding puzzled. "Though some days I don't remember why," he added, with a punitive glare.

"I just mean that now you're available, Killer – we can't _just_ be friends." Sebastian paused to choose his words carefully. "What I'm saying is... and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form…what I'm saying is that two available gay guys can't 'just be friends' because the sex part always gets in the way."

Blaine was adamant."That's not true, I have a number of male gay friends and there's is no sex involved."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

Sebastian smirked. "You only think you do."

"You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?"

"No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you."

Blaine shook his head and blushed. "They do not."

"Oh yes they do." Sebastian looked at Blaine and gave him the onceover appraisal he hadn't given him since Blaine got engaged to Kurt.

Blaine blushed again. "How do you know?"

"Because no gay man can really be friends with another gay guy he finds attractive - he always wants to have sex with him, which gets in the way of a really deep friendship. Like how much can you really be paying attention to someone's story about their mother or how they bombed their midterm when all you can think about is whether you can talk them into making out in the back of your car between classes?"

Blaine gaped at him.

Sebastian continued calmly. "I mean even 'just being friends' with attractive straight guys can be a problem. Come on, look at you and Sam. You totally want to jump him, and that made your friendship awkward in the beginning, right?" He smirked triumphantly. "And what about Nick? I saw you checking out his ass yesterday."

Blaine didn't deign to confirm any of these half-truths. "So you're saying that a gay man CAN be friends with a man he finds UNattractive?"

"No, we pretty much want to nail them too," Sebastian laughed.

"What if they don't want to have sex with you?"

"Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story."

"Wait, so when I was with Kurt, we could be friends because I wasn't available; but now that I _am_ available, we can't be as close?"

"Well you and I are a special case, Killer. Any respect for monogamy went out the window the minute I saw you throwing me blushing schoolboy looks during that 'Uptown Girl' rehearsal. I couldn't really "let it lie" with you," he laughed. So no, we couldn't _just_ be friends. But I thought we did pretty good with the whole friendship thing anyway, eh B?

Sebastian drained his coffee cup and continued. "And yeah, now things might get even more problematic because you know, once I get used to the idea that you're available, I might start thinking again about slamming you up against a wall and having my way with you – which would be very distracting while you are pouring your heart out to me about why Sam is bugging the crap out of you as your roommate. And once you get out of your "Blaine+Kurt 4ever" headspace, you will probably start thinking about me dragging you into the nearest closet and well, LETTING me have my way with you," he smirked.

Blaine was blushing thinking about the visuals Sebastian had provided. Then he remembered to be indignant. "You are ridiculous. If you can get your mind out of the gutter I don't see why we can't just be friends while I am in Scotland and you are at Stanford."

"Oh Killer, calm down. Sure, that's possible. I've grown accustomed to your face after all," he said with a charming grin. "BUT, if you didn't want to be friends anymore because you can't stop thinking about me having my way with you naked on a California beach…I would understand."

"SEBASTIAN!" Blaine spluttered.

"What?"

"Come on, you can't seriously not know why I'm upset."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Killer. I'm just calling it like it is." Sebastian glanced at him, then turned to the Ipod dock to hit "shuffle."

Blaine fumed for a few minutes, then started texting Sam.

_BLAINE: He's being so irritating again! What is wrong with him?!_

_SAM: What did he say this time?_

_BLAINE: That no two gay guys can just be friends because one of them always wants to have sex, so that gets in the way._

_SAM: Is that true?  
_

_BLAINE: Of course it's not!_

_SAM: Ok._

_BLAINE: But it's not just this morning. I'm upset because he's been a douche on this whole trip. It's like he's a different person than the guy I've been hanging out with for the last month!_

_SAM: I'm glad you said something - I didn't want to._

Blaine fumed for a few more moments, formulating a response.

_SAM: Nick says to remind you that he thinks Sebastian's being a jerk because he's having trouble saying goodbye to you._

_BLAINE: I still think he was just born obnoxious. But ask Nick to elaborate._

_SAM: Ok hold on._

_SAM: He says Seb is pushing you away because he thinks it will be easier to say goodbye if you're pissed off at him. That way instead of being sad, you can just say good riddance to each other._

_BLAINE: Tell Nick that I think he's reading a lot into all this. But I'll think about what he said._

Blaine sat thinking about Nick's explanation for several minutes. He glanced furtively at Sebastian's serious profile from time to time.

Then "Wonderland" came up on the Ipod Shuffle:

 _There's a little box in the corner_  
_Wrapped nicely to entice you and draw you in-_

Sebastian reached over and skipped to a Justin Timberlake song.

He skipped their duet. Blaine looked at him and turned off the stereo. He said quietly, "Seb, I'm going to miss you. It's going to be tough to say goodbye when we get to Stanford."

Sebastian didn't take his eyes off the road. "I don't do weepy goodbyes, Killer."

"I kind of don't know what I'm going to do without you," Blaine continued, his face serious. "I don't know how I would have gotten through the last month without you. And if it weren't for you, I might be in a marriage right now for all the wrong reasons." He gulped. "I can't tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life. You're really important to me and I'm sad we aren't going to be able to hang out all the time anymore."

Sebastian didn't answer.

Blaine wiped a tear away and tried to smile. "Don't pretend that you aren't going to miss me too," he said, nudging Sebastian.

"Don't touch me while I'm driving, it's dangerous."

"Come on, say it. You're going to miss me!" Blaine teased.

"I'm not going to miss you and your food wrappers all over my car," Sebastian pointed at a Pringles can on the floor.

Blaine laughed. "And don't think that being a jerk is going to make saying goodbye any easier."

Sebastian was quiet again.

Blaine picked up the Pringles can and shoved it into their designated trash bag. "You're going to miss the old movies I make you watch."

Sebastian's eyes flickered from the road to look at Blaine with disdain. "I liked old movies long before I met you. Cary Grant, Bogart, James Dean, Hitchcock. Just not the chick flicks you watch."

"Hey! I don't just watch romantic comedies! And anyway you liked Roman Holiday, and all the Katherine Hepburn movies I showed you."

Sebastian scoffed. "She was a badass. That has nothing to do with you."

"You're going to miss messing up my hair. And spoiling me with free coffees and pastries. And you are definitely going to miss me making you my amazing chicken artichoke pizzas!"

"They were making me fat."

"And you're going to miss watching the Daily Show together and arguing about Charlie Rose and Hardball every week with me."

"Only because you won't let me yell at the TV."

"And you are going to miss letting me beat you in tennis, and you are going to miss gloating over how many more skips you can skip stones in the lake."

"You are pathetically bad at it for someone who grew up near Alum Lake."

And you're going to miss throwing me in the lake…I KNOW you're going to miss that!"

"Okay, I'll give you the last one. But if you start singing 'My Heart Will Go On,' I will pull over and make you ride with those two morons behind us."

Blaine was triumphant, and reached over to ruffle Sebastian's hair.

"I said don't touch me," Sebastian said, batting him away.

Blaine rolled his eyes and turned the stereo back on, switching to the CD player so he could put in his Carole King Greatest Hits CD, which he knew Sebastian secretly liked. He knew what song he wanted to play for Sebastian, but tactfully decided to not play it first. So only after a couple of other songs, "Now and Forever" began playing and Blaine looked at Sebastian fondly, wondering if he would reach over and turn it off.

He didn't. So Blaine turned the radio up [ [click to listen to it here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVgOMfmuWw8)]:

 _Now and forever, you are a part of me_  
_And the memory cuts like a knife_  
_Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight  
_ _When you walked into my life_

_[source: no you can't have my kik on instagram]_

_Now and forever, I'll remember_  
_All the promises still unbroken_  
_And think about all the words between us  
_ _That never needed to be spoken_

_We had a moment, just one moment_  
_That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime_  
_We are the lucky ones_  
_Some people never get to do all we got to do  
_ _Now and forever, I will always think of you_

_Didn't we come together, didn't we live together_  
_Didn't we cry together_  
_Didn't we play together, didn't we love together  
_ _And together we lit up the world_

 _I miss the tears, I miss the laughter_  
I miss the day we met and all that followed after  
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you  
The way we used to do  
Now and forever, I will always think of you  
Now and forever, I will always be with you

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please drop a word or two to give me some feedback! I am new at this and would love hear both what you thought could have been better and what you liked versus what you loved. Thanks so much for joining this fun ride!


	2. The Top of The Mark

At lunch later that day, Nick grabbed Sebastian by the elbow as soon as Blaine and Sam ran across the street to eat at In 'n' Out. "Hey…what happened to you guys?"

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked coolly, opening the door to the diner.

"All morning! First Blaine is texting Sam about what a dillhole you're being, and then we get nothing for hours until just now before we pulled off the freeway."

Sebastian shrugged. "I guess we were listening to music pretty loudly, so we didn't hear our phones."

Nick said impatiently, "You know what I mean. Where are things with you two? You've been a jerk to him during this whole trip! Is he even speaking to you anymore?"

Sebastian sat down in the booth, giving the hostess a polite nod. "Of course he's speaking with me. Everything's fine."

Nick spoke with genuine concern. "You don't look fine. You haven't seemed fine on this whole trip. You're distant, meaner than usual (which is really saying something), and well, a little sad. Are you okay?"

Sebastian turned on him, temperature rising. "Yes, I'm okay, except for the fact that you can't seem to mind your own damn business."

Nick was undeterred. "It IS my business, because if I don't do something now, I'll have to listen to you in a couple of weeks ranting and raving about all the useless dipshits and injustices in your life, even though I'll know that you're really just bitter that you didn't leave things in a good place Blaine."

Sebastian was growing exasperated. "Duvall, who says I'm even going to want to talk to you in a couple of weeks? And enough with the pop psychology…"

Nick stopped and took a breath. "Look Seb, I know it's hard to think about having to say goodbye to Blaine – "

"Nick! I told you I don't need your dim-witted attempts at being a shrink." Sebastian barked. "You sound just like Blaine, dragging out this goodbye business. What the hell do you people want, a tickertape parade? You guys are leaving me at Stanford on Friday. Then he's going to Scotland. That's all there is to it. What's the point of having a fucking Kabbalah circle about it?"

"Seb, you don't have to talk about it," Nick said heatedly. "But stop acting like saying goodbye isn't going to be hard, and definitely stop acting like you don't care about Blaine the way I know you do. He deserves better than that, after putting up with your crap for so long. You've been a prick to him and to all of us ever since we started this trip. But you've still got four days to enjoy San Francisco with him. Don't ruin your own opportunity. Enjoy your time with Blaine now while you have him with you – otherwise you're gonna regret it."

Sebastian was looking out the window. "Are you finished?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

"Yes," Nick smiled. "And that will be five cents for my psychiatric services."

Sebastian threw a menu at him.

* * *

[](http://imgur.com/59fjLrf) [x](http://www.ihg.com/intercontinental/hotels/gb/en/san-francisco/sfoha/hoteldetail)

They arrived at their San Francisco hotel late that night, just in time for room service and a welcome early bedtime after ten hours of driving. Nick and Blaine decided to switch places so Blaine would share a room with Sebastian for some "quality time." Sebastian shook his head as he unpacked his bag. "Yes, watching you brush your teeth is just like running through a field of heather with you."

"Oh, shut up." Blaine said, kicking his shoes off. "You know you want to hang out with me even more now that we're on the real part of our vacation." He fell back on the bed and sighed happily. "It's going to be so great to stay put in one place for four nights in a row," he said, stretching out on his downy comforter. "And I'm so glad you booked this incredible hotel."

"Of course we had to stay at the Mark," said Sebastian, as he slid t-shirts into a drawer. "It's a cultural landmark in this city – the United Nations was founded here. It's a classic. We stayed here the couple of times I came here as a kid. There's nothing else like it."

"Aw, Sebastian Smythe is getting all nostalgic!"

Sebastian beaned him with a pair of socks.

After watching The Daily Show and part of an old movie while they ate and finished unpacking, Blaine read his GQ, Vogue and a comic book while Sebastian read an Alexander Hamilton biography. "You are such a nerd," Blaine teased him. Sebastian retorted, "You're one to talk. The Green Lantern? At least pick a comic book hero with real superpowers. That one relies on his _jewelry_ to get by – pathetic."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Seb." Blaine grinned.

It became a thing for the next couple of days: Sebastian insulting or deflecting, Blaine replying with the same statement.

"You're so embarrassing with that umbrella. This is FOG, not rain."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Seb."

"God you're such a hobbit – let me just get that for you."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Seb."

"Man, I love wearing your hoodies when I forget mine. What will I do without them in Scotland?"

"You will leave your hair gel muck in someone else's hoodies."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Seb."

In spite of his residual crabbiness, everyone could tell that Sebastian was starting to have fun. He was the first to rise on Tuesday, dragging Nick and Blaine on a drive to Ocean Beach for a run. On the ferry to Alcatraz that went under the Golden Gate Bridge, he asked the tour guide a lot of questions about the history and architectural details of the landmark. Later, he scared Blaine and Sam out of their skins in one of the prison cells. It was the first time they had heard Sebastian's genuine laugh all week.

* * *

[](http://imgur.com/xMoHVUu)

Wednesday started with a driving tour of the city. Sebastian got so annoyed driving on the one way streets downtown that Nick made him get out at a red light and change places with him. They ended at a museum in Golden Gate Park. After the museum they threw a Frisbee around and picnicked in the park afterwards. It was a very warm September day and everyone at the park seemed to be in shorts - the women in skimpy tops and many of the men shirtless. All four of the Ohio visitors stripped their shirts off as well and lay on blankets the hotel had provided them for their picnic. "I LOVE California," Sam said, laying back on his elbows and eyeing a gorgeous brunette walking by in a bikini top and shorts.

[](http://imgur.com/JW6lNCs)

Blaine lay on his stomach next to Sebastian, who lay on his back, eyes closed as he sunned himself. He studied the widely spaced beauty spots dotting Sebastian's neck, shoulders, and toned chest until he realized he was staring. He quickly sat up. He surveyed the scene with Sam, noting the many families and gay couples walking by. "This is amazing," he said. "This is seriously like the best city in the world: all the culture and history, the adorable Victorian houses, the architecture like City Hall, the Opera House, and the Courthouse. Plus the food is amazing – there are so many healthy choices. It's got everything you could ask for in a city – a real cultural life, a rich history…but it's not so big and impersonal like New York. It's cozy. And the weather is better. And it's so ethnically diverse, and there are so many parks…"

"Killer, you are going to turn into a Fodor guidebook if you don't stop soon." Sebastian said dryly.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Seb." Blaine continued without missing a beat. "I've never seen so many gay couples holding hands without a care in the world about it, or so many gay couples with adorable children. I feel like I'm on Mars…or in heaven. I read that during Gay Pride this year, the city clerks worked on a Sunday so they could have a speed-marriage circuit – a booth with justices of the peace and ministers, and the clerks running back and forth from the city hall printers to the booth cranking out marriage licenses on the spot. How great is that?"

"That is why I wanted to come to California," Sebastian said. "The rest of the country just has their heads up their asses."

"We're gonna miss you too, Seb." Sam and Blaine said together.

* * *

Thursday was the last day they had planned to be in San Francisco. Blaine felt somewhat emotional all day, knowing it was his last with Sebastian. The plan for the next two days seemed to loom large – Friday morning they would move Sebastian into his dorm and Sam, Blaine and Nick would drive all day to reach Cooper's house in Hollywood by nightfall. Saturday they would move Nick into his dorm and in time for the early arrivals orientation mixer that was Saturday night. Then Cooper would play host for Sam and Blaine's visit to UCLA and other Los Angeles tourist spots.

Sebastian wasn't pushing Blaine away any longer, but he was more stoic than he had been all week. So the last day in San Francisco would have been a good one for a structured or highly distracting activity, like a guided tour or an amusement park. Unfortunately Sebastian abhorred tour guides in general and Nick was queasy on rollercoasters, so Blaine had planned for them to just spend the day navigating the city by streetcar bus and leisurely wandering historic and fascinating neighborhoods on foot. At least Blaine was kept busy quoting from his guidebook all day, which meant Sebastian was somewhat occupied with giving him a hard time about it.

In the end, Blaine was pleased that they managed to have a reasonably pleasant day. He personally found himself falling more in love with San Francisco with every step they took. In the morning they found and visited both the hippie Haight-Ashbury neighborhood and the historic Mission Dolores church before noon. Even Sebastian had to laugh after Sam had to greet a couple of church nuns while high on a pot brownie.

After lunch they split, Nick and Sebastian checking out the modern art museum while Blaine and Sam excitedly dashed off to the Cartoon Art Museum in the bustling South of Market district. After reuniting, they took a look at the theatre district, the gay Castro neighborhood, and a stop to both Baker's and China Beach rounded out the day. By the day's end of course, Sebastian had them all being whisked between neighborhoods in taxicabs, as he had lost patience with buses and trolleys.

Nick was the group's self-appointed photographer, using his expensive camera to get shots of Sam and the nuns, Blaine grinning in front of theater posters, and Sebastian casually browsing a Castro sex shop.

As the day wore on and the end of the trip became even closer, Blaine clung to Sebastian more and more. And somewhat to his surprise, Sebastian let him. Blaine shyly slipped his hand in his from time to time, and Sebastian bore no complaint. Blaine rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder on the streetcar rides and leaned against his chest while waiting at bus stops.

If Sebastian felt conflicted by any of this, he didn't show it.

And even if he had, he had gotten over it by the time they reached China Beach. When Nick asked them to pose for a photo, Sebastian was the one wrapping his arms around Blaine from behind. Nick made a mental note to not forget to send the photo to both of them.

So Nick and Sam begged off Blaine's invitation to go dancing with them in the Castro for their last night in the city. They knew that it was really a courtesy offer. "The worst kind of third wheel to be is the third wheel to two dudes," Sam said sagely to Nick.

The alcohol, music and buzzing energy of the club helped Sebastian's mindset that night. The dull ache he felt whenever he thought about parting from Blaine the next day almost went completely away with a few Jack and Cokes and a lot of grinding with Blaine on the dance floor. He alternated between closing his eyes and feeling the music pulsate through him and opening them again to take in the beauty that was Blaine.

_[[Click here for a song they danced to.](http://youtube.com/watch?v=kKuzyO0WykI)]_

_Come to the back_

_Go ahead, be gone with it_

_VIP_

_Go ahead, be gone with it_

_Drinks on me_

_Go ahead, be gone with it_

_Let me see what you're twerking with_

_Go ahead, be gone with it_

_Look at those hips_

_Go ahead, be gone with it_

_You make me smile_

_Go ahead, be gone with it_

_Go ahead child_

_Go ahead, be gone with it_

_And get your sexy on_

_Go ahead, be gone with it_

More than a few times when he opened his eyes he found Blaine looking up at him, shining with happiness. Often Blaine would even pull him closer and bury his face in Sebastian's neck while they danced. The smell of Blaine's sweat and cologne and the feel of Blaine melting into his neck was pure bliss. All of this plus Blaine's flirty smiles and teasing dance moves were enough to make Sebastian desperate to kiss Blaine until he wouldn't be able to stand upright anymore and drag him to the back room to fuck him until he wouldn't know his own name.

But he knew better. He knew that Blaine's heart was still in pieces, even if he had stopped talking to Hummel. He knew that Blaine was feeling very grateful for his support in the last several weeks and was feeling emotional about parting ways the next day. And he knew that if there was anything he had learned over the years, it was how to protect himself. And his last night with Blaine Anderson in San Francisco was not going to be any exception.

So he put to use the discipline borne of all of his ambitious pursuits and every ounce of the steely resolve that he had developed to withstand his father's heavy-handed criticism. He didn't let himself get too drunk, and he wouldn't let Blaine get too drunk either. And besides allowing himself the pleasure of encircling Blaine's waist and occasionally guiding his hips while they danced, he kept his hands to himself.

In spite of the fact that a large portion of the evening was spent fighting every sexual impulse he had, Sebastian was surprisingly happy that night. After all, Blaine without sex was still infinitely better than no Blaine at all. Because at last there was no Kurt, no glee club feud, no cheating angst, no engagement and no wedding drama. There was nothing, for once, between him and Blaine. Tonight Blaine's dark curls, which his sweat had unleashed from the gel; his big hazel eyes; his long eyelashes; his beautiful face; his graceful moves - were all his to enjoy. Blaine's sweet sexiness, his endearing enthusiasm, his adorable laughter, his loving kindness - all of Blaine, was his alone. At least for tonight.

Blaine was clearly enjoying his company as well. They both kept just enough alcohol in their system to keep the worry about tomorrow at bay, so they laughed most of the night about everything and anything. Even when they flagged a cab back to the hotel at around 1AM, they were still boisterous and twinkling at each other. So at the hotel when they reached their floor and stepped out of the elevator, Sebastian had an idea of how to top off the evening.

"Wait."

"What?" Blaine asked.

"Just wait right here by the elevator. I'll be right back."

Blaine waited, amused and baffled at the same time.

Sebastian returned wearing a fresh collared shirt and one of his well-tailored blazers. He carried Blaine's navy one.

"Oh no Seb, I'm not going out again. My feet are killing me!"

"We're not going out," Sebastian said mischievously. He pressed the elevator button.

"Then what are we doing?" Blaine asked, laughing as he allowed himself to be shepherded into the elevator again. "Do you know about a rave in the hotel somewhere? Why do we need blazers?"

"Because we represent Dalton on every occasion," Sebastian said with a smile. "And because I think this place might have a dress code." He pressed the button in the elevator labeled, "Top of the Mark."

"What does that mean?" Blaine asked. "I was wondering what that button was for."

"We're staying at the Mark, so we have to go to the Top of the Mark," smiled Sebastian.

The elevator doors opened to an elegant restaurant and cocktail lounge with a stunning 360 view of the San Francisco Bay, the Bay Bridge, the neighboring highrises, and the brilliantly lit skyline of the city of Oakland. Blaine gasped in delight. "Seb, this is incredible!"

[](http://imgur.com/07R4ezC) [x](http://www.ihg.com/intercontinental/hotels/gb/en/san-francisco/sfoha/hoteldetail)

Sebastian practically beamed at him. They ordered dessert. Blaine heard the jazz band kick into "Orange Colored Sky." He grabbed Sebastian's hand. "I love this song! Oh man we have to dance to this!"

"I thought your feet were killing you!" laughed Sebastian.

_[[Click here to hear the Nat King Cole song the band played]](https://youtube.com/watch?v=jZNwVpfomk8)_

_I was walking along, minding my business,_  
 _When out of the orange colored sky,_

_Flash, bam, alacazam, Wonderful you came by._  
  
 _I was humming a tune, drinking in sunshine,_  
 _When out of that orange colored view_  
 _Flash, bam, alacazam, I got a look at you._

_One look and I yelled timber_   
_Watch out for flying glass._   
_'Cause the ceiling fell in and the bottom fell out_   
_I went into a spin and I started to shout_   
_I've been hit_

Blaine spun out from Sebastian, then back into his arms.

_This is it, this is it, this is it, IT it._

_I was walking along minding my business_   
_When love came and hit me in the eye_

Blaine and Sebastian joined the band's callout

 _Flash, bam, alacazam,_  
 _Out of the orange colored sky_

_Well, one look and I yelled timber_  
 _Watch out for flying glass._  
 _Cause the ceiling fell in and the bottom fell out_  
 _I went into a spin and I started to shout_  
 _I've been hit_

Sebastian dipped a joyful Blaine.

_This is it, this is it, this is it, IT it._

_I was walking along minding my business_   
_When love came and hit me in the eye_

"This cannot be a more different nightclub than the one in the Castro," Blaine said laughing.

_Flash, bam, alacazam,_  
 _Out of the orange colored, purple striped,_  
 _Pretty green polka-dot sky_  
 _Flash, bam, alacazam,_  
 _And goodbye_

"We've had an amazing couple of days here," Blaine said breathlessly as they headed back to their white linen covered table to get off their feet.

Sebastian nodded in agreement, smiling at him.

"There it is again," Blaine said.

"What?"

"Your smile. Your real smile. I haven't seen a lot of it in the last week. Your signature smirk has been making more frequent appearances."

"Well, not much was really worthy of a smile until I got to see you twerking tonight," laughed Sebastian.

Blaine rolled his eyes. Then he spoke earnestly, "Well I'm glad to see your smile. I've missed it. And I'm glad you've had a good time on our visit here."

"I'll be sure to explore the city some more so that I can show you other sides of it if you decide to visit," Sebastian said casually, not meeting his eyes.

[](http://imgur.com/yWMcttR) [x](http://90210.wikia.com/wiki/Campbell_Price)

"If?" Blaine reached across the table and coaxed Sebastian to look at him. "Huh, you really play it safe Smythe. Of course I'm going to come visit. It's not like I'm going to forget about you as soon as my feet hit the turf in Scotland."

Sebastian nodded, his face carefully neutral as he drank from his water glass.

"Whether you like it or not, I'm always going to be in your life, Sebastian Smythe. You're a part of me now. I mean what would have happened to me if you hadn't come along? I mean besides the obvious, that I might be married right now for all the wrong reasons." Blaine wished bringing up the subject didn't still turn his stomach so much, but he continued bravely anyway. "You weren't afraid to point out what both Kurt and I knew, but didn't want to admit – that it would have been a terrible idea."

Sebastian was looking out the window, down at the lights reflecting on the bay.

Blaine didn't want to subdue what had been an incredibly fun night. He tapped Sebastian's hand to get his attention and cocked his head to one side. "Plus, if I hadn't met you I wouldn't know thousands of trivial details behind the last 8 presidential elections."

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow. "Trivial? Respect the office, Anderson."

"If I hadn't met you I wouldn't know the exact dates the Ralph Lauren and Burberry fall, winter, spring AND summer collections come out every year," Blaine rolled his eyes.

"I told you, you have to be prepared if you're as tall as I am. Some of the Purple Label is produced in surprisingly limited quantities."

Blaine chuckled. "You're such a preppy!"

Sebastian taunted back, "Please…Pot! Kettle! Black!"

"If I hadn't met you I wouldn't have won a substantial amount of cash in the McKinley fantasy football pool."

Sebastian furrowed his brow. "Hey, I don't think you ever took me out to dinner for that."

Blaine asked himself, "What else? Oh, if I hadn't met you I wouldn't have this scar on my arm from our unfortunate fencing accident."

Sebastian protested, "I said I was sorry for that! How was I to know you'd have a wardrobe malfunction?"

Blaine smiled again. "If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't know about the amazing concoction that is the peanut butter and honey sandwich."

Sebastian grinned and licked his lips. "That sounds really good right now. I wonder if the kitchen here could make one for us…"

"And finally, Mr. Sebastian Smythe, if I had never met you I would have had a much tougher time getting through what turned out to be a pretty traumatic senior year." Blaine paused to search for the right words to explain. "You were always just…THERE. You listened…when I was stressed out about school, or my dad, or when Finn died, even about all the Kurt stuff. You listened even when I was stupid - especially when I was stupid. You didn't care if I screwed up and you made me laugh and you helped me forgive myself. I owe you a lot for that."

Sebastian looked up at him, smiling. "You don't owe me anything, B. But why didn't you write one of my letters of recommendation? I might have scored more scholarship money."

The waiter brought their bill. "Now…what would your life have been without me?" Blaine asked with his most engaging smile. "Would it have been such a Wonderful Life, George Sebastian Bailey?"

Sebastian tapped his lips and thought about it. "Hmmm…well I might have won a regionals trophy and even a nationals trophy if we hadn't competed against a team with Blaine Anderson on it."

Blaine laughed.

"And I wouldn't be ruined for all other men because of the perfection that is your ass."

Blaine blushed a deep red, protesting, "SSHHHH SEB!"

Sebastian scribbled their hotel room number on the bill. "Let's see, I wouldn't have wasted 3 hours of my life watching _Gone with the Wind_."

"You loved it, come on. Rhett Butler was hot enough to make it worth watching."

They got up and headed back to their room as Sebastian continued. "Hmm…if you hadn't come into my life, I wouldn't have had to carry Jesse St. James up a very steep flight of stairs after having to deck him for you."

Blaine covered his face with his hands and groaned.

Sebastian gestured for Blaine to get in the elevator first. "If I had never met you, I would have full-time use of my hoodies, since you always have at least 2 or 3 of them in your closet."

Blaine smiled, "They're comfier than mine!"

"That's because they are miles too big for you, so it must be like wearing a fleece blanket."

They stepped out of the elevator laughing.

"Oh, and if I had never met you I would never have met your ridiculous brother."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Depends on the day, I guess."

Sebastian reached into his pocket for the hotel keycard. "Ok, here's a very important one. If I had never met Blaine Anderson, I wouldn't have turned over a new leaf." Sebastian's still had a half smile on his face, but there was serious look in his eye. "And I wouldn't be a better man."

"Aw, Seb…" Blaine squeezed his hand as they walked in the door.

Sebastian looked at Blaine's face as they reached the middle of the still partially lit room, still holding hands. Blaine was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Sebastian was pretty sure no one had ever looked at him like that before. He couldn't stop looking at him and Blaine wasn't looking away, either. Blaine's lips parted ever so slightly. It was mesmerizing. Sebastian had never in his life wanted to kiss someone so much.

But he knew better, even though his stomach did a little flip. He smiled too brightly, squeezed Blaine's hand and let go. After a quick moment of overwhelm, he headed to the dresser to pull out a t-shirt and his pajama bottoms. He took them into the bathroom and collecting himself while he changed, washed his face, and brushed his teeth. While Blaine was in the bathroom, Sebastian climbed into his very comfortable bed and tried very hard to not to think about kissing Blaine, and how if he started kissing Blaine, he knew would not be able to stop. Blaine came out of the bathroom, turned out the lights, and climbed into the other bed.

"Good night, B."

"Good night."

Sebastian was just drifting off when he felt the mattress sink under the weight of Blaine's body. He rolled over onto his back to face him and said sleepily, "What? You okay?"

Blaine looked at him with his puppy dog eyes. "No, I'm not okay. I'm already missing you – you're my best friend. I can't believe we have to say goodbye tomorrow."

Sebastian's heart softened as it always did when Blaine looked like that. He patted Blaine's arm. "It's going to be okay, Killer. Remember you said we're always going to be a part of each other's lives…"

"But not in the same way." Blaine pouted. He lay down on top of the covers next to Sebastian, looking up at the ceiling.

"But you're only going to be in Scotland for a year. Then it will be easier for us to catch flights to see each other, especially if you do end up at UCLA."

"A year is such a long time. And like you said, we probably won't be in the same city."

"Maybe we will be in the summers, we could get pathetic jobs in Ohio and I can throw you in the lake everyday again," Sebastian smiled weakly.

"Stop being so logical," Blaine pouted again. "Just hold me." He turned sideways to face Sebastian, wriggled into the nook between his arm and chest, flung his own arm and a leg over Sebastian's torso and hips, and wrapped Sebastian's other arm around him.

Sebastian tensed up as he felt the heat rise in his body.

"Sometimes, I just want you to listen," Blaine pouted some more. "Or just be quiet with me. Rub my back, please."

Sebastian's hand slowly moved to Blaine's upper back and patted it. This was not good.

Blaine let out a sigh of contentment.

"Oh no no no," Sebastian sat up.

Blaine looked hurt.

Sebastian's green eyes flashed. "I'm not going to be your rebound guy."

"You could never be my rebound guy, Seb." Blaine said, looking worried.

"Oh yes I would be, we keep this cuddling business up tonight and I'd be the first guy you kissed or fucked after your broken engagement and by definition that would make me the rebound guy. And it never ends well for that guy," Sebastian argued, arms crossed. "I know you," he said pointing a finger, "For you kissing and fucking means complicated feelings and shit and then you might not want to even be friends and…"

"Oh, Seb." Blaine interrupted softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "Don't…"

"Blaine!" Sebastian pulled away and spoke with frustration. "Just stop." He ran a hand through his hair. "You're making this…I just…" For once in his life, Sebastian was at a loss for words. He looked more frustrated than Blaine had ever seen him before. If Blaine didn't know better, he'd say Sebastian almost looked…panicked.

Almost. Because Sebastian Smythe did not panic.

Blaine's instincts kicked in for Sebastian's sake. He backpedaled. "Seb, I was just going to say 'don't freak out, I'll leave you alone.' I'm sorry. I was just feeling…emotional."

Sebastian looked apologetic now, but still frustrated. He said slowly but still with some heat, "I'm sorry. I know you like cuddling…I just don't want to put us in a position that might make tomorrow…"

Blaine interrupted him, patting the pillow. "It's okay, really. Lie down, relax. I'll go back to my bed so I don't grope you," he joked, now anxiously trying to lighten the mood.

Sebastian looked down and said quietly, "I'm sorry I yelled."

"It's okay, just go to sleep," Blaine said gently. "We're both tired."

Sebastian looked at him wearily. "Yeah, we're both tired. Good night, B." He lay down on his side, holding a pillow with his back turned to Blaine.

Blaine got into his own bed and hugged a pillow as well, looking at Sebastian's form in the dark. Blaine's pillow was a bit damp in few minutes.

They both lay in their respective beds, eyes open, for a long time, until they fell asleep.

* * *

Sebastian heard the hotel room door open, then a scurrying across the room. His eyes felt glued shut. "I'm awake B, it's okay, you don't have to tiptoe around."

Blaine sounded surprised. "Oh! I'm sorry, I was trying not to wake you." Sebastian heard him open a drawer quickly and rummage for clothes.

"It's okay, I was already kind of waking up. I just can't get my eyes open."

"Go back to sleep, go back to sleep," Blaine urged. "I just…went to exercise and am going to take a shower, but I'll be quick." Blaine shut the bathroom door quickly.

Sebastian started rubbing his eyes, hearing the water turn on. He was exhausted – yesterday had been…a lot. They probably didn't go to bed until almost 3. He looked at his phone and saw it was 10:30. He knew Nick was going to kill them for getting such a late start.

So he got out of bed as quickly as he could in his current exhausted state. He started packing.

A few minutes later, Blaine emerged from the bathroom. Sebastian didn't look up, as he was trying to get his suitcase closed. .

Blaine came over and pulled on his arm. "Are you doing okay? I want to apologize for I freaking you out last night. I'm really sorry, I just…"

Sebastian cut in to reassure him. "I'm fine, B. It's okay, I get it, you were feeling emotional." He took Blaine by the hand and walked them over to the bench at the foot of his bed. "I'm sorry if I …overreacted. I just…" He groped for words.

"It's ok, you were fine." Blaine said gently, taking his other hand. "But can I ask you something?"

Sebastian nodded.

"What do you think about staying an extra day in the city today? I was just thinking this morning that we are having such a good time that I don't want to go quite yet. I mean we never made it over to Marin County to go biking, and I saw that Third Eye Blind is playing tonight at the Fillmore!" Blaine paused for breath. "I ran into Nick and Sam downstairs, and they are game if you are, since it would only mean cutting into my time with Cooper. But for you it means moving into your dorm a day later, so we would totally understand if you wanted to just keep the original plan."

Sebastian was a little overwhelmed with the barrage of detail before he'd had his coffee, but he could never refuse Blaine when he looked like that - like a little kid wanting to open more of his Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. "No, no I don't mind," he said, "As long as we get me some coffee very soon."

"Oh that's so great!" Blaine hugged him. "Ok, I'm going to tell the guys and then I'll check with the concierge to see which part of Marin we should go to and find out where to rent bikes. And I checked with the hotel and they said there's vacancy and we wouldn't even have to change rooms! You take a shower and put on some sweats or something to bike in." Blaine moved toward the door, then turned around with more instructions. "And pack your backpack, something to read maybe, and sunblock, maybe a hat. The forecast says it's going to be another gorgeous sunny Califorina day, and Marin is supposed to be even warmer than the city! And I'll bring up a coffee, is that little bottle of Courvoisier empty yet? Because I could run down to that market nearby and see if my fake ID could get us more."

Sebastian was always amused when Blaine got into his Energizer bunny mode. "Don't get yourself arrested for my coffee, B – just go do your stuff." He waved him off and went to go shower.

* * *

[](http://imgur.com/JKclqmU) x

Their visit to Marin was even more successful than the day prior. They didn't talk much because they were each on rented bicycles, a 40 mile roundtrip ride to Marin and back. None of them were avid bicyclists, but it didn't matter because the ride was mostly flat, over the Golden Gate Bridge and along the bike path along the bay into the nearby bedroom community of Tiburon just across the bay in Marin County. There were spectacular views of the city across the bay and the multi-million dollar homes of Marin.

As they headed out, Blaine played the perfect song through his Iphone earbuds for the ride:

_[_[Click here for Blaine's song, "New Morning"]_](https://youtube.com/watch?v=dQUvezM3D3E)_

_Can't you hear that rooster crowing ?_

_Rabbit running down across the road_

_Underneath the bridge where the water flows through_

_So happy just to see you smile_

_Underneath the sky of blue_

_On this new morning, new morning_

_On this new morning with you.  
_

_Can't you hear that motor turning_

_Automobile coming into style_

_Coming down the road for a country mile or two ?_

_So happy just to see you smile_

_Underneath the sky of blue_

_On this new morning, new morning_

_On this new morning with you._

_The night passed away so quickly_

_It always does when you're with me._

_Can't you feel that sun a-shining ?_

_Ground hog running by the country stream_

_This must be the day when all of my dreams come true_

_So happy just to be alive_

_Underneath the sky of blue_

_On this new morning, new morning_

_On this new morning with you._

_So happy just to be alive_

_Underneath the sky of blue_

_On this new morning, new morning_

_On this new morning with you_

_New morning ..._

They stopped for a break in downtown Tiburon. They were all blissed out from the blood pumping through their veins from the ride and the beautiful views, fresh air and sunshine. There was simply no room in their spirits for Blaine to be melancholy or Sebastian to be cross.

"I seriously want to live here," Blaine declared, watching other tourists and townspeople walk by from an outdoor café after lunch.

"I thought you wanted to live in San Francisco," Sam said, confused.

"I do...but after awhile I'll have kids so I'll want to move to a smaller tow n." Blaine watched a little girl with dark wavy hair play with her dad by the fountain several paces over .

"I hope you'll be a huge actor or composer by then," Sebastian said, "The homes around here look like they average $5 million apiece."

"Either that, or you can just marry rich," Nick said with a grin. Sebastian glared at him.

Blaine was looking at his watch. "Hey, let's head back, you guys."

"Already? What's your hurry?" Sebastian said closing his eyes and leaning his head back. "The sun and the breeze feels so good and I don't have to be moving my legs when I'm right here."

Blaine poked him in the ribs, earning him a swipe upside the head. "I want to get back to this boutique I saw yesterday to get something for Tina. It's been bugging me that I didn't buy it and they close at 5PM."

"Really?" Sam was sunning himself as well, "Can't you just get her something from the hotel gift shop or something?"

"No. Come on, you guys!" Blaine was insistent.

Sebastian found an old favorite on his Ipod for his ride back to the city:

[[ _Click here to play Seb's song. "The End of the Innocence"_ ]](http://play.spotify.com/album/2yPVB4tLlnfBl8SgcX8qDv)

_Remember when the days were long_

_And rolled beneath a deep blue sky_

_Didn't have a care in the world_

_With mommy and daddy standin' by_

_But "happily ever after" fails_

_And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales_

_The lawyers dwell on small details_

_Since daddy had to fly  
_

_But I know a place where we can go_

_That's still untouched by men_

_We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by_

_And the tall grass wave in the wind_

_You can lay your head back on the ground_

_And let your hair fall all around me_

_Offer up your best defense_

_But this is the end_

_This is the end of the innocence_

_..._

_Who knows how long this will last_

_Now we've come so far, so fast_

_But, somewhere back there in the dust_

_That same small town in each of us_

_I need to remember this_

_So baby give me just one kiss_

_And let me take a long last look_

_Before we say goodbye_

_Just lay your head back on the ground_

_And let your hair fall all around me_

_Offer up your best defense_

_But this is the end_

_This is the end of the innocence_

In less than a mile, Sebastian could start to feel the ache come back. Tomorrow they really would be leaving.

* * *

At the hotel Blaine showered first. He came out dressed in the navy blazer, gray slacks and a hipster tie. "Are those your Dalton slacks?" Sebastian asked, laughing.

Blaine ignored him, being in a hurry to leave. "I'm gonna borrow your car – I'll meet you guys at the restaurant – I made reservations for 4 at Atelier Crenn for 5:30. They have valet parking so you don't have to worry about that, though I still think you should get used to taking the bus." Blaine chided him even as he tried not to stare at Sebastian taking his shirt off on his way to the steamy bathroom.

"Okay, mom." Sebastian replied. "Do you really think you're going to take that long shopping? Buy something for my mom then, will you?"

"I'll try!" Blaine shouted, door closing behind him.

* * *

Sebastian's phone buzzed with a text as he took the ticket from the valet at the restaurant.

_BLAINE: I'm going to have to miss dinner - go ahead and eat there anyway without me, I'll grab something fast to eat when I get there. Sorry! Enjoy it and don't be too pretentious with your French with the waiters, it will annoy Sam. You two shouldn't squabble on your last night together._

_SEBASTIAN: What the hell are you getting Tina that could take 2 and half hours?_

_BLAINE: I'll explain when I see you. It's all good! I should be there in time for dessert._

* * *

After the sumptuous dinner and exquisite wine that Sebastian knew Sam didn't fully appreciate, Blaine still wasn't there. Nick thought they should skip dessert anyway, to allow for any crosstown traffic on the way to the Fillmore. "It would be great to get there early to check out the building – it's such an epic venue – The Grateful Dead, James Brown, Hendrix, Tina Turner have all played there."

_SEBASTIAN: Hey Alice, you still down the rabbit hole? We're skipping dessert and headed to the Fillmore – you're going to miss the opening act if you don't get a move on. Where are you?_

_BLAINE: That's perfect, I can be at the Fillmore in 15. I'll just leave your car here and grab a cab._

_SEBASTIAN: Leave my car where?_

_SEBASTIAN: Don't leave my car parked on the street._

_SEBASTIAN: Or in a sketchy garage_

_SEBASTIAN: Make sure you give them the valet key so they can't open the trunk_

_SEBASTIAN: Blaine?_

* * *

Blaine was at the Fillmore by the time they arrived. Before Sebastian could say a word, Blaine swept them into the building through a very noisy crowd, where they staked out a spot to stand near the stage.

[](http://imgur.com/NVpTLwt)

Nick and Sam went to the bar upstairs for dessert and to explore the building, which meant Sebastian could finally get an explanation.

"Where were you?" Sebastian demanded.

Blaine's eyes were shining. "Seb, I have the best news!"

**Author's Note: I know, evil cliffhanger. Well I hope you enjoyed our boys' almost-kiss (ok, some of you probably hate me for not letting them kiss) and their almost-night-in-bed together (ok, probably ALL of you hate me for that). Hopefully at least the dancing and romancing at the Top of the Mark were satisfying! And I hope you liked the bike ride to the town where I live, Tiburon (hence my username). Oh, and now you know where we got the fic title.**

**Please review and let me know what you like and don't like (but be kind about the way you tell me, please - I'm a sensitive soul.) It is helpful to see if I can do more of what you like and less of what you don't like... Thanks for reading!**


	3. Cold Feet, First Blush, Lost Seb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine's news is revealed and Sebastian has opinions. Cooper is very...Cooper. We also get a glimpse of Sebastian Smythe, Stanford freshman.

Nick and Sam were getting sodas at the bar. "Sebastian was kind of quiet at dinner, huh?" Sam said.

"Yeah. I think he's really bummed about saying goodbye to Blaine," Nick said. "And then Blaine disappears on us. What do you think he was doing? It couldn't have just been shopping. Unless Tina's tastes are really that specific?"

"I dunno, not that I know of." Sam said, turning around and leaning against the bar. "I kinda wish Tina was here though, she'd know what to do with this whole Sebastian thing."

"What would you want her to do?" Nick asked. "I thought they were kind of cute yesterday and today, holding hands and stuff."

"Yeah, but Blaine's not really the most…stable right now, and you know Sebastian can be kind of…"

"A jerk?" Nick laughed. "Yeah, I know. But Sam…" He stopped to gather his thoughts. "Sebastian actually does really care about Blaine. He's not going to break his heart, if that's what you're worried about." He paused again, thinking back. "He's been falling for Blaine since junior year. He got caught in the Blaine Anderson spell the first time he met him…but it's taken Mr. Cool awhile to show it even a little. And he's not like that about anyone else. You should have seen him when he thought Kurt and Blaine were going to get married. I thought he was going to blow a gasket, and then, like cry or something."

"Cry, really?"

"Well ok, he wouldn't cry…but something. He was more…emotional than I've ever seen him."

Sam was thoughtful. "Well let's say you're right…but even if he doesn't break his heart, I just hope Blaine doesn't spend the year in Scotland being all sappy about him."

Nick agreed. "That's true. He should go shake off all the Kurt stuff and breathe a little. But I bet you Seb would say the same thing. So the ball's in your court, bro – you have take him out and make sure he has some fun so he doesn't stay home waiting for a Skype call."

Sam downed his coke. "I hope I'm up to the job."

"You'll be fine. Being in a different country will help. But more importantly, get him drunk." Nick grinned. "You have no idea how many Warblers Drunk!Blaine flirted with during his Dalton days. "

"Ooh, that's true. Drunk!Blaine made out with Rachel all night at her party. Or was it Brittany or Quinn? I know he kissed Rachel during spin the bottle but after that I was trapped under Santana all night so I couldn't see that well."

Nick patted him on the back. "Then it sounds like you know just what to do. Now let's get downstairs before we miss the whole opening act."

* * *

"Where's my car?!" Sebastian hollered over the guitar riffs of the opening act.

Blaine yelled back. "It's in a very safe spot, don't worry! Totally secure!"

"Where?! Where were you?!" Sebastian shouted.

"I'll get to that! It'll make sense once I tell you my news! It's too loud here!"

"What?! It's what?!"

"IT'S TOO LOUD! Once the guys get back we can go upstairs and I'll tell you everything!"

Sebastian was about to just abandon their spot on the floor when Nick and Sam came weaving through the crowd. They left their bewildered friends immediately and Blaine pulled Sebastian upstairs to the bar where Nick and Sam had been, called the "Poster Room." It was decorated with hundreds of colorful concert posters of famous acts that had played at the Fillmore.

[](http://imgur.com/bYVrmEA)

They sat down at a small pub table.

"Out with it." Sebastian commanded.

Blaine leaned forward onto the table, vibrating with excitement. "I'm going to spend this year here, in San Francisco!"

"What? What are you talking about?" Sebastian was thunderstruck.

Blaine beamed. "Well you know how much I've been falling in love with this city…and yesterday when we were in the theatre district I saw this cute little theatre that looked interesting. So early this morning I got online and read about it. It's new, but the artistic director has Broadway credits and they sound like they have a wonderful vision for the theatre. They are producing off-Broadway shows and original works and get this, starting this fall, they are offering their first 1 year theatre program targeting high school and college aged students!"

Sebastian was trying to formulate a response, so he kept quiet and leaned back in his chair.

Blaine barreled on. "And the program starts NEXT week! I mean how perfect is this? It's like it's a sign, Seb. So this morning I went to drop by their office to find out more…"

"You mean when you told me you went out to exercise?" Sebastian interrupted, arching an eyebrow and smirking.

Blaine looked abashed. "Well I didn't want to tell you anything until after I learned more about it."

"I've been a bad influence on you, Anderson . Sebastian laughed, but then furrowed his brow again. "Ok, go on."

Blaine radiated happiness. "So I met with the executive director, Brooke, and she was WONDERFUL. She went through their ideas for the course curriculum and talked to me more about the artistic director and the faculty they are bringing in, and I told her about my background and NYADA and that I had personal reasons for not being able to be in New York anymore. She seems SO nice, Seb, I felt so at home with her right away. And get this, she lives in TIBURON! So then she texted the artistic director on the spot to see if he had time to interview me in the afternoon, which is why I had to head back to the city from Tiburon so early."

"Which is when you lied to me again," Sebastian smirked, crossing his arms and shaking his head.

"Yeah," Blaine blushed. "So anyway, I met him and he was super impressive, like Carmen Tibideau, but nicer! And so I did an audition on the spot and they said yes on the spot! And then I filled out a bunch of paperwork. And THEN - get this - I mentioned that I would probably need to work part-time if I wanted to be able to live in the city, and they said they had a friend who runs the City Parks and Rec program, and that if I wanted to they could walk me over to talk to them about a job, because they thought they might need instructors for their kids musical theater programs! So I walked with them for a while and got to know Ryan (that's the artistic director) even better and then I met with their friend Zach at the Parks and Rec and I loved him and he pretty much hired me on the spot, too!"

Blaine finally stopped for breath, his eyes like stars. "Isn't all of this amazing?"

Sebastian just studied him for a moment – he looked so incredibly happy. Sebastian hated that he was going to dismantle that. He also remembered Cooper saying Blaine was stubborn and that getting right into arguing with him was not always a good idea. He uncrossed his arms and leaned onto the table.

"Seb, why are you looking at me like I'm crazy?"

"I don't think you're crazy. It's just…" He wanted to choose his words carefully. "Isn't this kind of sudden? And please tell me you didn't give them any deposit money."

"No, not yet. Seb, I know it's sudden, but everything is so perfect about it! They seem so great, and I will get to live in San Francisco, and you and I will be able to hang out on weekends at least. And I can go see Cooper and Nick pretty often!"

Sebastian waved a hand to get a word in edge-wise. "Blaine, slow down. I just want you to slow down and think about this. Can I just play devil's advocate for a minute?"

"Okay…" Blaine looked wary.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to be part of a program that's in its first year? The first couple of years is when any new program gets its kinks out. And what kind Broadway credits does this Ryan guy have?"

"He was in Wicked AND Book of Mormon." Blaine said immediately.

"What roles? And does he have artistic director experience? Because performance experience does not always mean you can direct a college level program. And what percentage of students are even college students? Will it just be you and a bunch of high school glee clubbers?"

"Sebastian, why are you being so critical? Can't you just be happy for me?"

"I will be very happy for you if this is the right decision, B. Really, I'll get completely behind you. But what about Scotland? That's a nationally renowned program, it just has rolling admissions, which was lucky for us. It's at the very top of the second tier - you and Tina and I researched it exhaustively, remember? And it's just a 1 year program so you can go to a top tier school next year to finish out your training. And it's just a 1 hour flight to London."

"LA's only an hour flight away from here."

"Blaine, you know LA is all about TV and movies."

"Well then why do you think UCLA is such a good idea?"

"Because it's a top tier educational experience. You should be near a city producing top-tier shows, or in a top-tier program, or both. Not neither."

Blaine crossed his arms. "Sebastian this year isn't just about my education and career. I know you're Mr. Ambitious and you'll probably have a job at Apple or something in no time, but what's wrong with taking a year to just find myself a little?"

Sebastian was gentle. "There's nothing wrong with that. But you can do that and be in a solid program at the same time – they are not mutually exclusive experiences. In fact a good program will _help_ you find yourself. And let me tell you that there is nothing more broadening than living abroad. You think I'm bad now? I was such a provincial little shit when I went to Paris. It opened me up quite a bit, gave me perspective…"

"I'm not you, Sebastian." Blaine pouted. "I think I can grow plenty in San Francisco."

Sebastian felt like he'd hit the stubborn wall Cooper was referring to. He took a beat and stared at a Jimi Hendrix poster as he thought about what to say next.

When he turned back, Blaine was looking down. Sebastian nudged his chin up. "I know you, Blaine – you would take that job babysitting those theatre kids and get wrapped up in 'doing the right thing' and end up an assistant director of some arts education program and talk yourself into doing that work and miss your peak window of opportunity to be a performer on stage." He teased, "Those bashful schoolboy looks are only going to last for so many years, you know." He didn't get a smile in return. "In Europe you'll only be able to get a limited work visa, which means you'll only take a job if it's a great opportunity."

"Seb, it would only be a year."

"But it would be a year that would point you in a certain direction at the end of it, and it would be a year you'd need to talk about in an NYU or UCLA admissions interview."

Blaine was quiet for a few moments.

[](http://imgur.com/OO5skiG)

"Seb, are you worried that I'll cramp your style here? Because we don't have to see each other that often if I lived here. I don't want to stay here just for you, I promise." Blaine swallowed. "And about last night, you have to believe me when I say…"

Sebastian interrupted, shaking his head. "There is no way you could ever cramp my style." He took hold of Blaine's hands. "B, you know I'm a selfish bastard. If I got what I wanted, you'd stay here and live under my dorm bed. But you belong in Scotland this year with Sam. I think you just have cold feet and you think you're going to miss me much more than you really will."

"Well I _am_ going to miss you," Blaine said quietly.

"Ok you've said that so much that now I think you're just trying to butter me up," said Sebastian, trying to lighten the mood. "What do you want from me? Cash for your backpacking trip? Access to my mom's house in Paris for your weekend getaways with Sexy Lips Evans?"

"You're ludicrous," Blaine said, breaking into a small smile and punching him in the arm. He leaned on the table and held his head in his hands. "So you really think it's such a bad idea to stay here? I mean these people were so great…"

"I'm sure there will be really great people in Scotland," Sebastian said firmly. "Including Sam, who I think would be really disappointed and thrown if you change your plans."

"I don't know…" Blaine put his elbows on the table and leaned his head into his hands.

After a minute or two, Sebastian said, "Hey Killer, let's do this. You think about it during the concert, let it stew in your head a bit. And then if you want we'll talk more later. 'Cause I know you were really excited about this concert before…and we did drop a couple hundred bucks on these last minute tickets."

Blaine allowed himself to be led downstairs, but his head was in a fog. Nick and Sam greeted them heartily, but they noticed even in the dark of the concert that Blaine was distracted and clinging to Sebastian again. They also saw that though the whole time Sebastian had his arms wrapped around Blaine from behind, he looked like a stiff, hurt child.

The last song made Sebastian look even more wounded and Blaine even more wistful:

[](http://imgur.com/3YzvCQS)

_[[click here for the song they heard](http://youtube.com/watch?v=puKWMnfO1RU)]_

_The suckers lose themselves_  
In the games they learn to play  
Children love to sing but  
Then their voices slowly fade away  
People always take a step away  
From what is true  
That's why I like you around  
I want you  
Oh you do you do...  
You make me want you  
An open invitation to the dance  
Happenstance set the vibe that we are in  
No apology because my urge is genuine  
And the mystery of your rhythm is so feminine  
Here I am and I want to take a hit  
Of your scent cause it bit so deep into my soul  
I want you  
Yeah, you do you do...  
You make me want you  


When the encore ended and the house lights went up, Sebastian loosened his hold and Blaine turned around and looked up at him with his big, beautiful eyes. In that moment Sebastian actually prayed that Blaine would stay in San Francisco.

"I hate it when you're right," Blaine said with a wan smile and shiny eyes.

Sebastian looked at him and tried to smile, too. "Me too."

They filed out of the building and took a cab back to Sebastian's car and went back to the hotel. Nick and Sam talked enthusiastically about the concert. Sebastian and Blaine tried to respond, but didn't say much. Blaine described the reasons for his disappearance that day with far less enthusiasm than earlier, then calmly explained that he had decided not to pursue it. Sam looked at him keenly, but chose not say anything.

It was midnight by the time they were back at the hotel and they were all subdued and exhausted by then. Sebastian started packing while Blaine was brushing his teeth in the bathroom. Neither had said anything since they left Nick and Sam by the elevators. When Sebastian came out of the bathroom after brushing his own teeth, Blaine was curled up on his side on his bed. Sebastian studied him, looking small and beautiful in the big bed, wrapped in the white duvet.

Wordlessly, Sebastian climbed in and curled up behind him, wrapped an arm around him and held him tight. They lay there in silence with their eyes open, for a long time, until they fell asleep .

* * *

The next morning Blaine rolled over and found a note:

_B –_

_I'm headed to Stanford early. I know Duvall is getting antsy, so I thought I'd save you guys some time. And remember I don't do weepy goodbyes._

_Here's a little something to keep you warm if you ever get cold feet again. Just take it easy on the gel when you wear it._

_S_

_P.S. I'm gonna miss you too._

The note was tucked into Sebastian's Dalton Lacrosse hoodie.

[](http://imgur.com/RDuN7TP)

source: http://skreened.com/

The drive to Los Angeles was less lively; the absence of the least talkative and most grouchy member of the roadtrip left a surprising void in the group dynamic. Nick was also a little quieter as his thoughts began to focus on his new life in college just ahead.

Blaine looked calm as he stared out the window at the huge California farms flying past, but Sam knew there was more. He had seen Blaine like this before – his eyes and his body language spoke volumes – this was Blaine being brave in the face of sorrow.

Sam sat in the back seat and sketched his face, making notes for a macaroni portrait.

Blaine was wondering if Sebastian thought he was too emotionally needy. It wasn't until after their noon stop for lunch that he finally broke down to text him, while Nick and Sam were blasting Iron Maiden over the stereo and singing along in the front seat.

_BLAINE: Hi. Thanks for the hoodie, what a sweet surprise._

_SEBASTIAN: Hi. You're welcome._

Blaine wondered if they would survive a whole year of awkward electronic communication. They used to have fun text and email conversations all the time in Ohio…what happened?

_SEBASTIAN: Hope you didn't mind too much that we didn't get a proper goodbye._

_BLAINE: It's okay, I can see why you might've thought I'd get all emotional on you if didn't steal away in the night._

_SEBASTIAN: Like Nightbird, the nocturnal avenger?_

Blaine inwardly blessed his altar ego for providing comic relief.

_BLAINE: Right :D How is it going so far? I'd call you, but Nick and Sam are rocking out to 80's metal right now._

_SEBASTIAN: Tell those two morons that I could not be more happy that I am no longer trapped in a car with either of them._

_BLAINE: They said they miss you too :D_

_SEBASTIAN: Idiots._

_SEBASTIAN: Things are fine so far. Dorm room is a decent size, found a coffee cart that will do in a pinch, the roommate seems okay - band geek from southern California. His mother sent homemade cookies with him, so I figure it can't hurt to stay on his good side._

_BLAINE: I'm sure he will love you, you can be very charming when you want to be. Especially when fresh baked cookies are involved. I am only just now stopping to contemplate what it is really going to be like to have Sam for a roommate. You'll have to give me your roommate survival tips. I only boarded at Dalton for a year, remember? Wes was like the perfect roommate. Somehow think Wes and Sam have different living habits._

_SEBASTIAN: Yeah, that is a bleached tighty-whitie vs. ripped boxers distinction right there._

_BLAINE: Okay I just almost snorted coffee out of my nose. The visual! God I miss you already._

Sebastian felt a twist in his stomach.

 _SEBASTIAN: Sorry, I gotta run – there's some kind of lunch thing for my dorm so I guess I should go show them I can play well with others…so I don't become known as "that Unabomber kid from Ohio_."

_BLAINE: Ok, bye!_

_SEBASTIAN: Bye, I'll call you or text you later – after lunch or at the latest, tonight._

Sebastian pocketed his phone, hoping that saying goodbye to Blaine wasn't going to suck so much every single fucking time.

Blaine had thought all morning that he would feel better once he got to talk to Sebastian. Yet when turned off his phone, he felt deflated, but didn't know exactly why.

* * *

"Coop!"

"Squirt!"

"Don't call me that," Blaine rolled his eyes and hugged his brother very tightly. It had only been 5 weeks since the weekend of the almost-wedding, but his big brother's goofy smile and suffocating hugs were still incredibly comforting after everything that had transpired.

"Hey Sam, Nick!" Cooper said over Blaine's shoulder.

After they said their farewells to Nick, Cooper ushered Sam and Blaine into his modest house. "Sorry I couldn't pick you up, but the Mini-Cooper doesn't fit much luggage. And I know little brother doesn't pack too light."

"Hey, I wasn't so bad…you should see how much Kurt packs!" Even as he said the name, Blaine felt a pang in his heart.

Cooper looked over Blaine's head and raised his eyebrows at Sam at the mention of Kurt. Sam shrugged.

"WHOA!" Sam said, looking around the entryway, which was decorated with posters from every James Bond movie ever produced.

Blaine sighed, "That's right, I never told you about Cooper's house."

Cooper said grandly, "Yes, I wanted to be constantly immersed in inspiration, so each room of my house is an homage to a different genre or film that grounds and uplifts my spirit and soul."

Sam was still busy staring with his mouth hanging open at a life-sized poster of Halle Berry in the orange bikini. "Yeah, soul."

"Come in, come in!" Cooper guided them into his Disney kitchen . He got them drinks and they pulled out barstools around the kitchen island.

"So, I was bummed you guys didn't come down as planned, but I get it. San Francisco is pretty awesome, and you've visited me before."

Blaine was standing again, stretching out his stiff back and arms from the long day of driving and moving boxes for Nick.

"Yeah, it was pretty great," Sam said, "We went to Alcatraz, we went to The Cartoon Art Museum and a science museum…"

"Really? You did that touristy stuff with Sebastian?" Cooper shook his head in disbelief. "I would think he would hate that kind of thing."

"Oh, he was a pretty good sport," Blaine said, remembering the week with a smile.

"Yeah, it took awhile, but he came around." Sam nodded.

"He came around from what?" Cooper asked.

"Oh, the long road trip was not really his thing," Blaine said vaguely. He wandered the kitchen, picking up Disney paraphernalia. "So he was a little grumpy while we were driving to San Francisco."

Sam gave Blaine a look. "A LITTLE grumpy?"

Cooper rubbed his hands together in delight like a cartoon villain. "Okay, what happened? I can tell something happened. Dish! Blainey, what was going on with Sebastian? I promise I won't judge!"

Blaine shook his head at his brother. "Coop, don't even bother trying to promise that. Of course you're going to judge!"

"Ok, I probably will. But I'll try to give you my opinions nicely, how about that? Now, tell me what's going on Sebby."

"He'd kill you if he heard you call him that," Blaine said.

"Don't try to change the subject...I _know_ there's something more to this story," Cooper said. "You know I'm a little psychic," he added to Sam in an aside.

"He's not psychic. At all." Blaine said to Sam, rolling his eyes.

Cooper didn't miss a beat. "You might as well stop beating around the bush because you know I'll get it out of you eventually."

Blaine sighed. "Fine. Sebastian was having trouble saying goodbye to me."

"Awwww…"

"Do you want me to finish?"

Cooper crinkled his nose at him and nodded, abashed.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "It's just, he and I were spending a lot of time together after Kurt and I cancelled the wedding - he was being really supportive. So we got a lot closer over the last month or so than we have ever been."

Cooper raised his eyebrows "So when you say, 'got a lot closer…' do you mean, like naked closer?"

"No! Let me finish!" Blaine blushed.

"Sorry, I'll withhold commentary."

"As if you have ever been able to do that," Blaine groused. "Anyway, he was kind of being a jackass on the drive to San Francisco, and Nick figured out that it was because he was sad about saying goodbye to me and he was pushing me away because he thought somehow that might help make saying goodbye easier."

"Awwwwww…"

Blaine ignored him. "So by the time we got to SF, I called him on it, and then I think Nick talked to him more about it…"

"I always liked that Nick."

"…so he was being nicer by the time we started sightseeing."

"And?"

"And, that's it. You wanted to know how he came around to doing touristy stuff with us and why he was being so grumpy."

"Ok…" Cooper raised his eyebrows and gestured meaningfully…"But give me more."

"More what?"

Sam tapped Cooper on the shoulder and pointed at the refrigerator with questioning eyes.

"Help yourself, kiddo." Cooper waved at the pantry as well, then turned back to Blaine. "What happened once you got to San Francisco? He was sad about goodbye…so how did the goodbyes actually go? Did you break his heart?"

"No!" Blaine said, annoyed.

"Well, what exactly happened, then?"

"They held hands," Sam offered. "And Blaine laid his head on Sebastian's chest when we stood in line for stuff."

"Ah…" Cooper said, smiling.

"It was not a big deal, he's just been a good friend…" Blaine floundered and blushed.

"Oh please…there it is, your Crush Blush."

Sam closed the refrigerator door with his foot and dumped a bottle of beer, an apple, and a roast chicken on the table. "His what?"

"His Crush Blush. Whenever he'd get bent out of shape about some guy he was crushing on, Blainey gets that exact blush. Starts mid-neck, stops just below the cheekbones." It's like he's too embarrassed to blush more! It's fascinating !"

Sam chortled.

"Coop!"

Cooper grinned. "So tell me, did you really stay an extra day in San Francisco because you wanted to see more of San Francisco, or because you wanted to see more of that hot Warbler?"

"Both," Sam answered, swigging from his beer.

"Sam!" Blaine cried.

"Well you did, dude. You said you wanted to figure out if there was a way for you to stay in San Francisco this year; and you wanted all of us to spend more time together in Marin and go to the concert."

"Yes, I wanted ALL of us to spend more time together, not just Sebastian."

"But 'all of us' INCLUDED Sebastian!" Coop pointed out (literally pointed out), in triumph.

[](http://imgur.com/n26YWSY)

"Right," said Sam, taking a big bite of his apple. "Come on man, it was obvious during the concert that there is something going on with you guys. And about that - I wanted to ask you but I didn't get to on the drive with Nick there - did you guys have sex last night?"

"Wha-ha?!" Cooper jumped off his stool.

"NO!" Blaine shouted. "Good god, you guys…I can't believe that you would…"

Sam said matter-of-factly, "What? You shared a fancy hotel room for five nights! Last night was the last night. You were all mushy at the concert. Recipe for sex." He gnawed on his chicken leg.

Cooper was practically panting as he dug a 101 Dalmatians plate out of the cupboard for Sam's chicken leg.

Sam addressed Cooper. "We stayed at the Intercontinental, man – it was awesome. Sebastian paid for everything."

Blaine was quick to add, "Only because he insisted we stay there – I told him I would only pay for Holiday Inns on the trip."

"You stayed at the Mark? Wow, impressive." Cooper was thoughtful.

"COOP!"

Coop shook himself. "Sorry, let's get back on track. So nothing happened? Not even a little, you know…wet cuddling?"

"Ewww!" Blaine hit his brother in the shoulder.

"Ugh," Sam said, putting his beer bottle down with a grimace.

"Sorry! I don't know what you kids are calling it these days!"

"God Coop, Kurt and I cancelled our wedding like, 6 weeks ago!"

Cooper rolled his eyes. "Blaine, it's okay to have carnal urges, you know."

"Coop! I can't believe…" Blaine was blushing furiously again.

Coop put his arm around Sam's shoulder and pointed at Blaine. " You see how the blush goes all the way to his forehead this time? That's the Too-Much blush. Too much sex talk makes him blush that way ."

Sam laughed and said, "Coop is right on this one, Blaine. It's okay to have a little fun to help you move on from Kurt."

At the mention of Kurt, Blaine got quiet.

Cooper said, "Aw Blainey, don't be sad. I'll leave you alone. And I _am_ sorry."

Blaine huffed, "Thank you."

"Yes, I _am_ sorry that you and Seb didn't get down and dirty. He's a hot guy!"

"Coop! Again, it's only been a few weeks, I can't even _THINK_ …"

Sam took another bite of his chicken. "Blaine, I gotta stop you there. Nick and I saw you lusting after Sebastian when he got out of the pool when we got to Salt Lake City. And at Golden Gate Park when he took his shirt off and lay down next to you. I thought you were going to get drool on his shoulder."

[](http://imgur.com/vBEd8Ml)

Coop threw his head back and laughed heartily, "He got you, little brother! Stone cold evidence! Busted! Snagged!"

Blaine blushed crimson.

Cooper hooted, "All the way to the roots of his hair! I don't think I've ever seen his blush go that far! It's the Got Caught Lusting Blush!"

Blaine bolted for the door. "I'm going to bed!"

Cooper chased after him, redirecting him into the Indiana Jones themed living room. "Ok, ok, we'll stop talking about Sebastian. You came to visit, have a good time. So I got the Karaoke all set up!"

Sam was at their heels, pumping his fist. "Yes! Anderbros!"

Cooper cranked up the karaoke CD and shoved a microphone in Blaine's hands. He started Duran Duran choreography Blaine clearly remembered but was reluctant to join:

[fromthis song]

_[Cooper and Sam]_  
Da nah nah nah  
 _Da nah nah nah  
_ _Da nah nah nah_

_[Cooper]_

_You've gone too far this time  
_

_[Cooper and Sam]_  
But I'm dancing on the valentine _  
_

_[Cooper]_

_I tell you somebody's fooling around_ _  
_

_[Cooper and Sam, goading Blaine to sing the next line]_  
With my chances on the dangerline __  
__  
[Blaine, finally cracking a smile]  
I'll cross that bridge when I find it _  
_

_[Blaine started his part of the choreography, with Cooper and Sam backing]  
_ _Another day to make my stand_

_[Blaine]  
High time is no time for deciding_

[Cooper and Sam on backing vocals on intro]  
 _If I should find a helping hand_

_[Blaine with Cooper and Sam on backing vocals]_  
 _So why don't you use it?_  
 _Try not to bruise it  
_ _Buy time don't lose it_

_[Cooper with Blaine and Sam on backing vocals]_  
 _The reflex is an only child he's waiting in the park_  
 _The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark_  
 _And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre_  
 _Every little thing the reflex does  
_ _Leaves you answered with a question mark_

* * *

Blaine was exhausted by the time he lay down on the sofa-bed in Cooper's study. He could hear Cooper and Sam going on and on about the décor in the Rocky-themed guest room down the hall. It was 11PM and he couldn't believe the two of them still had that much energy.

He checked his phone to see if he had missed anything in the din of their karaoke. Blaine almost always automatically scanned the list first for something from Kurt, then remembered with a pang that he shouldn't be. There was a missed call and a text from Tina checking in; a missed call and a voicemail from his mother checking in; a text from Unique with a picture of her, Marley, Jake, and Ryder making funny faces in the choir room. There was also a text from Mike with the name of a friend of his in Edinburgh who he met at the Joffrey that he wanted Blaine to connect with. There were no texts or missed calls from Sebastian, but Blaine wasn't surprised, remembering the whirlwind that was Kurt's first few months in New York.

He was texting Tina when his phone rang with his Wonderland ringtone.

"Hey, Seb!" he said, sounding pleasantly surprised.

"Hi, Killer." Sebastian smiled broadly and stretched out on his bed. It was really good to hear Blaine's voice after a day crowded with new people.

"I didn't think you'd call, I figured you'd be at a party or something." Blaine looked up at the ceiling at Cooper's disturbing Godfather movie stills.

Sebastian propped himself up on his elbow. "You thought I'd pull a Hummel? No way. Killer, let's get this straight from the start here. If I say I'm going to call, you can count on it - I'm going to call. And I'll be here when _you_ say you're going to call. And you can count on me picking up if you call me on the fly, if at all possible, especially in the middle of the night or whenever I know you could really need me. And you'll get a text if I can't."

Blaine's stomach wrenched at the mention of Kurt and the year prior, but was touched by Sebastian's very specific promises.

"Aww…you're the best, Seb."

"I know." Sebastian smirked.

"Shut up," Blaine laughed. "Now what have you been up to today?"

"Well, I got a Stanford email address and a pile of more paperwork on I don't know what else, and then I went to this club fair thing and I signed up for a crapton of stuff - I'm not even sure why."

Blaine chuckled. "What'd you sign up for? Lacrosse, of course…"

"Hell, it was a blur, I don't even remember…yeah lacrosse and also…fencing, triathlon, drama, golf, an acapella group, this thing called Ultimate Frisbee, I don't even know what that is exactly."

"Cute guy get you to sign up?" Blaine teased.

"Yeah," Sebastian admitted, laughing.

"Shocking," Blaine's laugh rang out. "You're so predictable. Well, you're going to be in killer shape if you really do all those sports..."

Sebastian laughed, "Or I'm going to get myself killed – trampled to death by all the jocks running around here. You should see the sheer volume of sweaty shirtless guys running around here in the hot California sun – the locker rooms are going to smell deathly." He paused. "Ok, ok, I know you're more interested in the acapella group. It's called Mixed Company, I guess because it's co-ed. It's the oldest co-ed acapella group on campus. They have a bunch of stuff about them on their website, I know you like that kind of stuff. They've done some cool shit – recorded studio albums, done some pretty racy satire…"

Blaine didn't hear anything after their name because all he could think about was Sebastian running sweaty and shirtless around the Stanford campus with a bunch of other hot, shirtless, sweaty guys.

"…They just seemed the least lame of all the acapella groups." Blaine shook himself out of his fantasy as Sebastian finished his description. "The Warblers could out-perform almost all of them, at least from the videos they were showing on their laptops."

"Awww, you're all sentimental now… Once a Warbler, always a Warbler."

"Oh, shut up."

"And hey, if there's one guy who can whip those Stanford kids into a legitimate threat, it's Sebastian Smythe."

Sebastian warmed when he realized Blaine remembered his compliment from so long ago. "If I'm going to whip anything right now, it better be my own lacrosse-playing ass if I want to make the team – they are headed towards making it a Division 1 sport before we graduate."

"Please, of course you'll make the team. Stop fishing for compliments, Smythe. What about the LGBT club? And are you going out for a fraternity?"

"Remember my dad was in a frat and he expects me to join it. So of course I'm not going to. I signed up for the LGBT email list and will show up for a couple of parties and support their causes and all that, but you know I'm not the lobbying and organizing type."

"True."

"And I know I can only do so much…I'd better be wise about how manage my time. Hell, I'll probably will end up dropping half of stuff I signed up for today…I'm pretty sure I already signed up for more than I can chew with my deranged decision to be a bus econ / EE double major. Add to it any internships, plus any social life I want to have outside of the jock and acapella set…"

"You sound so sure of yourself already."

"Oh, please. I still don't know where the hell anything is half the time. The campus feels way bigger than I remember from the admissions tours. Like this afternoon, I was reading some of the student health paperwork while we were walking back from the club fair and I glance up and Rob had this look on his face like – "uh-oh." I was just blindly following him and we ended up at the law school and had to look at a map like a tourist to get back to our own friggin dorm."

Blaine stifled a laugh as he asked, "So is Rob your roommate?"

"Yeah," Sebastian shook his head. "You can't fool me even over the phone…I know you're laughing at me, Anderson."

Blaine snorted. "I'm sorry, but…The Great Sebastian Smythe…walking around with your head down looking at a map and bumping into buildings."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Okay, ha ha ha, Sebastian got lost. Once I go for a couple of my morning runs hopefully I'll get my head screwed on straight spatially. And now we're officially done talking about me. What's the deal down south? Was Nick doing that thing where he taps his foot because he's nervous while you were moving him in at USC?"

"Ok, that's so funny you know that," Blaine laughed.

"Before every single Warbler performance. And was Sam carrying boxes in illogical ways to show off his biceps to Nick's female neighbors?"

"It's like you were there with us!"

"So I'm not the only one who is predictable."

"Wait, what can you predict about me?" Blaine asked, smiling.

"Let's see…you were being so helpful to everyone that someone asked if you were the RA."

"Ok, now you're spooking me out."

"I just spent like two weeks almost around the clock with you jokers," Sebastian grinned. "And how is Coop?"

"The same, fine. It's good to see him, even if he can still be incredibly annoying."

"And you?"

"I'm fine," Blaine said.

"B, it's me – don't give me your auto-reply." Then he said more gently, "I know you had six hours in the back of Duvall's Acura to brood. Doing okay about Scotland in a week?"

Blaine said more tentatively, "Yes, I guess."

"I don't totally believe that, but you have a week, Killer – you'll be fine. You'll have some fun with Sam in LA, it'll help you get revved up to go."

Blaine didn't respond.

" And then, just like at Dalton, and just like at McKinley, you're going to get there, figure that place out, start showing them who you really are, and everyone will fall in love with you. And then they won't be able to remember what it was like to not have Blaine Anderson, musical star, amongst them. They won't be able to imagine what it was like to not have you leading their team and supporting everyone with your heart that was built two sizes two large. They'll worship the ground you walk on. Then Oxford or Cambridge or whoever has the most amazing theatre arts program will offer you a full ride for the next four years and grant you instant British citizenship. Then you'll end up starring in every great production on the West End and you'll help Harry discover he's bisexual and become a duke or a prince and then the rest of us back here in The States are going to be screwed. "

A fond smile appeared on Blaine's lips as he shook his head. "I miss you so much," he blurted out without thinking.

Sebastian felt the twist in his heart again. He took a beat, but his voice came out _too_ light. "Right back at you, Killer."

There was an awkward pause.

"It sounds like you should slip on my hoodie, B – like an invisibility cloak. It will make for good dreams tonight, you can sneak around your subconscious unnoticed." Sebastian rolled his eyes listening to himself blather on like an idiot. "I should probably get some sleep, too. Okay?"

"Okay," said Blaine softly. "Good night, Seb."

"Good night, B."

Blaine slipped on the hoodie and burrowed into Sebastian's scent, thinking of Sebastian wrapped around him on their last night in San Francisco. He felt so safe there.

Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair and stared out the window at a tree branch. He tried very hard _not_ to think about what it was like to hold Blaine all night. It was going to be a long couple of months.

Then they lay there in their respective beds, with their eyes open, for a long time, until they fell asleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

__

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Hopefully you didn't cry too much in this chapter...and that Coop and Sam provided enough comic relief! Please drop a note and let us know what you're liking and not liking! It keeps us motivated!

_,_


	4. Of E-Mails and Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intercontinental love letters - except that they don't know they're in love. Plus Halloween includes drunk Sam and a visit from the always entertaining Santana. Sebastian is so glad to see someone from home, but of course he'd never say that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to Seblaine, The College Years! A quick note to say:
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, commented, favorited, followed and/or left kudos. It's great to hear what you liked about what you read and it motivates me to write more and better for you.
> 
> My amazing beta readers (Thomas, Dori, Rose, Tereza) and I back drafted three chapters before posting the first one, so editing these and getting them up pretty quickly. Going forward, I can't promise chapters after this will get cranked out so quickly, but here's hoping!
> 
> Darren's college buddies / fellow Starkids have been cast as Sebastian's roommate Rob and Sam's classmate Liam. Rob will be played with great laconic sweetness by none other than Joe Walker and Liam will be played with great hilarity by Dylan Saunders.

Sam woke up with a stiff back. He looked over to see Blaine leaning on one elbow, staring out the tiny airplane window.

"Hey." Sam rubbed his eyes.

"Hey," Blaine said without turning around, his voice sounding scratchy.

"How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour," Blaine replied, his voice choked.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Sam asked, touching Blaine's arm.

Blaine turned around, his eyes wet. "Oh…I'm just being stupid. I miss Kurt."

"Oh."

"It's just… about a month ago I was supposed to be on a plane just like this, flying to England, on our honeymoon. I know it doesn't sound that romantic, but he and I used to love reading Shakespeare when he had to study it for his senior year – we were going to do a whole Shakespeare pilgrimage."

Sam nodded sympathetically, fumbling in his mind for something to say.

"I just realized that haven't really let myself miss him in the last couple of weeks or so – it's been easy to distract myself with touring San Francisco and LA, and…" he trailed off.

"And Sebastian."

Blaine gave him a reproachful look. "Look Sam, I know I was staring at him, but I don't have any interest in…"

"I still don't believe you don't want to do him, but I wasn't bringing him up because of that. I mean you're wearing his hoodie again and you've been texting and calling him every day this week. Frankly, I'm a little worried about it. I thought you two might have a fling in San Francisco, but once he went off to Stanford you two would cool off. But you're almost talking to him MORE now. And h e can be kind of a jackass. Maybe you should tell him to leave you alone, give you some space to find yourself - like you've been talking about wanting this year."

Blaine said slowly. "Oh Sam, Sebastian can ACT like a jackass, but he really isn't one. He has really been my saving grace ever since the wedding." He paused, looking for an example. "Like when I was looking into that little theatre program in San Francisco, it was because I was panicking about leaving him and going to Scotland. I got way more excited about that program than I should have been. And Sebastian talked me out of it. He said he'd personally love it if I spent the year near him, but he thought I would get so much more out of Scotland. He completely talked me off the ledge. He even brought up how disappointed you would be if I ditched you at the last minute."

Sam's heart softened a bit. "Really?"

"Really. See? Not a jackass."

"But Sebastian has never had a boyfriend before, right? Just be careful, Blaine."

"Oh Sam, Sebastian is not my boyfriend. I don't think he even thinks about me that way."

"Of course he does. Would he be texting and calling you that much if he didn't like you?"

"I think he's calling because he wants to check in on me, as a friend," Blaine said firmly. "And because he needs a friend himself. He's adjusting to a lot of new stuff now, and he's not very comfortable telling other people his fears and about the stupid mistakes he's making because he's a freshman now. Not even Nick."

"Come on man, he didn't get on an airplane to Paris because he had to go stop your wedding. He gave you all that sheet music and remembered what duet you sang together in that skeevy piano bar. He sang that love song in his room about you when he didn't know you were listening, and he said all those nice things about you to Nick that you overheard. I saw him in San Francisco too, he was holding your hand and cuddling you in line for the buses and at the concert. The guy's in love with you – he is SO wanting to be gay version of Mike when he was with Tina." Sam quickly added awkwardly, "Or maybe he wants to be Tina. 'Cause you don't have to be the girl."

Blaine waved off the idea. "I don't know Sam, the more I think about it, more I'm sure he was just being a good friend and taking pity on me in San Francisco. He knows I like to cuddle and I think I even told him once that I was missing that part of being in a relationship. And as for the stuff before that…you have to remember that I was probably his first crush, ever. He never used to spend more than 20 minutes with guys before we met. So all of that was puppy love. And I think his crush on me wore off pretty quick when he saw what a blubbering wreck I was after the wedding. He was literally handing me tissues for my snot covered face that night after we watched that James Dean movie with all the Warblers on the wedding weekend. And besides, I honestly think Sebastian isn't interested in having a boyfriend. At least not now. He enjoys his freedom too much."

"I don't know, I see how he looks at you sometimes…" Sam faltered for words.

"He does care about me Sam…I'm not denying that. I'm probably his closest friend. But you know what? We were dancing and a little drunk at the Castro club Friday night and he didn't make a pass at me on the dance floor." Blaine looked a little offended. "And I was getting hit on by other guys there."

"Really?" Sam's eyes were wide. "Sebastian didn't try to grab your butt or anything? I just assumed you'd have to fight him off."

"Nothing. He was fighting off other guys who were trying to grope him and he was defending me, but he… _Sebastian Smythe_ …didn't try ANYTHING," Blaine sounded almost disappointed. "And then when we got back to the hotel room…" he trailed off, embarrassed.

"Then what?"

"Ugh, it's kind of embarrassing."

"It's ok, it's me bro – you can tell me anything. Did he try to kiss you and then you slapped him?"

"You and Ryder have to stop watching those Spanish soap operas," said Blaine, rolling his eyes. "No. There was this moment where I thought we were going to kiss. But he didn't kiss me and I now think I just made that moment up in my head because I was kind of feeling romantic." Blaine smiled at the memory. "I mean anyone would feel romantic about him that night. After dancing in the Castro we went to this restaurant at the top of hotel. It's called the Top of the Mark and it was so elegant and gorgeous and romantic and there was a jazz band we danced to. You know me, I'm in love with the idea of love. And that part of the night was pure romance."

Sam was unimpressed. "It's probably good he didn't kiss you."

Blaine groaned. "I'm not sure what we _did_ do was much better, though."

Sam's eyes widened. "There's more?! Did you lie to your brother? Dude, have you been holding out on me all week? What happened?!"

"No I didn't lie to Cooper, we didn't sleep together. But it's almost as bad." Blaine covered his face with his hands. "After we had gotten into our beds, I was feeling more and more sad about leaving him." He looked up from his hands to explain. "I mean he's been like my protector and such an incredibly good friend and everything for weeks since the wedding and he was also really there for me through our senior year when Kurt and I broke up the first time…"

"So what did you do?!" Sam was impatient.

Blaine slapped his forehead. "I came over to his bed and told him how much I was going to miss him and then I made him cuddle with me."

"Oooh." Sam gritted his teeth.

Blaine continued, squeezing his eyes shut at the memory. "And when I started cuddling with him, he kind of freaked out about it – well he didn't actually freak out, Seb doesn't really freak out – but he told me to stop, and said that he didn't want to be my rebound guy because for me kissing and sleeping together would mean I would get all emotional and then we might not be able to be friends…"

Sam's blinked at him. "So it was the kind of cuddling that was leading to kissing and sleeping together?"

"He thought so. I can see why, I had wrapped one leg around his lower body."

Sam sucked in a breath and gritted his teeth again.

"But did _you_ want it to lead to kissing and sleeping together?"

Blaine's forehead wrinkled. "I don't know…maybe? I was pretty emotional about how much I was going to miss him…so, maybe? I definitely wasn't thinking about it consciously at the time…I know it would have been way too soon after Kurt. But in the brief moment when he held me, it felt good to be with him like that – romantically, I mean – so maybe if it had gone on longer I might have been open to going there?" Blaine looked out the window again. "Or maybe I just wanted to be held." "It doesn't matter though, because he was definitely not into it. Like I said, I don't think he likes me romantically anymore. Especially now that he's surrounded by hot guys at Stanford. He's gonna have his pick of hook ups and boyfriends there and he's probably forgotten about me as a romantic option already. I can tell already, ever since he got there he hasn't been very..."

Sam looked stern. "Uh oh…is he being a jerk again?"

"No, not at all. He's been great, very supportive, helping me get in a good place mentally about this year. It's just…he never says anything…sweet. Like he never says he misses me." Blaine looked worried. "Ugh, Sebastian is complicated. He's so different than Kurt, Kurt just loved me…that was it."

Sam raised his eyebrows. Kurt was many things, but Sam never thought of him as uncomplicated.

"Sam, maybe I've been obsessing about Sebastian because I miss Kurt? Maybe I just miss having a boyfriend – or fiancé?"

"Huh." Sam considered this.

Blaine went on. "But I really do care about Sebastian…I just don't know what my feelings are for him, if they are romantic or what. I mean I have been in love with Kurt for so long, I don't think I know what being in love with anyone else might feel like. Or maybe I'm not falling in love, maybe I'm just taking all my feelings for Kurt and directing them at Seb. I could be making up a new perfect fantasy with him - he's so charming, funny, smart, handsome - it would be easy to do that. And if there's anything I learned from the engagement fiasco, it's that I can't go looking for perfection in romance." Blaine shook his head. "Anyway, it doesn't really matter now because I don't think he feels anything romantic about me anymore."

Sam looked thoughtful. "Hey Blaine, how about not worrying about that for awhile? Wasn't this year supposed to be about focusing on yourself?"

Blaine shook himself. "Yes, yes, you're right. I am kind of such a pathetic mess, aren't I? You're right. I want to be single this year and not obsess about love and romance."

"So maybe you should stop talking to not just Kurt, but Sebastian, too?"

"No, I don't want to do that." Blaine replied quickly. "I mean I don't even know what my feelings are for him. What if in a few more months I don't feel anything and realize I just was missing having a boyfriend? I really do cherish our friendship and I'd never want to hurt him by cutting things off, especially if there might not be any good reason to. And he needs me right now. And honestly, I could use his support, too. I'll just have to stop trying so hard to figure out how I feel about him and if he might get back to liking me and what we are and where this is going and all that stuff. We should just be friends."

"Wait, didn't Sebastian say that no two gay dudes can just be friends?"

"Oh, that's just his ridiculous theory. Of course we can just be friends." Blaine was thoughtful. " I miss my friend."

"I know, dude." Sam was sympathetic. "I'm not as tall as him, but I'll let you cuddle with me if you want."

Blaine smiled fondly at him. "You are the best friend ever."

" _WE_ are the best _friends_ ever!" Sam grinned, raising his hand in the air.

"Blam!" they said too loudly, high fiving and making the passenger next to Sam jump.

"Oh, we're so sorry ma'am," Blaine apologized.

"Um yeah, we're sorry…would you like a Mickey Mouse cookie?" Sam offered.

Blaine laughed. "How many of those did you steal from Cooper?"

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_

_From: Blaine Anderson_

_Date: October 14, 2013_

_Subject: cancelling our call_

_Dear Seb,_

_I'm giving up on us trying to make the time zones work during the week. You are in your rehearsal right now so I'm going to email you instead of text you because I know you'll just get up and start text fighting with me about this and your acapella friends will get mad at you again. I am officially cancelling our 10PM (Pacific) phone call. I know that you're just getting your post-dinner second wind at 10PM, but the 6AM Skype calls are getting old on my end. I know it's the only time between our schedules (we really both need to lay off the 8AM practices/classes next term), but I just don't think I can sustain it. Sam keeps me up too late with his gossip and comic book analyses and trying out his latest impression, plus I've got more homework than I thought I would. Plus, no one should really be subjected to me at that time in the morning, anyway - I'm sure you haven't been appreciating my Medusa-head that close to your bedtime, either – it's probably been giving you nightmares_ _._

_So I'm going back to old-fashioned e-mail, because I refuse to be lured into Skype text conversations with you while you're in class. So don't be surprised if I ignore you, it's for your own good. What's the point of paying all that tuition if you are just going to text me during your lectures? And we can still skype on weekends._

_Hmm…well I think the advantage of old fashioned email is it gives me a moment to stop and reflect a little while I write. It's actually been just about one month since we got here, so this is actually a perfect time to stop and take stock._

_So let's see…_

_Academically, things are going well, as I guess I've told you generally already._ _The curriculum is so much broader than I think it is in the US. T_ _he only thing about the classes is that I haven't really gotten to know anyone from them that well. They all seem friendly, but I find myself freezing up a bit before and after class, so I haven't approached anyone, and no one has approached me. They all seem to know each other from some sort of feeder high school._

_Outside of class, at least there are all the other students from the dorm I've mentioned we've been going out with, including those guys Liam and Scott from Sam's art program. I'm sure you can tell from the Facebook pictures I've been posting that they are all fun. The only thing is, it's been a month and I don't really feel close to any of them. I don't remember it taking so long when I started at Dalton._

_Maybe it's the drinking culture. You know I don't drink that much (though when I do I know you love it), but they hit the pub almost every night at least for an hour or two, and there are too many people for any real in depth conversation, plus it's not even really the right atmosphere for it. And I'm still getting used to how strong the beer is, and the fact that it's always served at room temperature. A lot of people smoke here, too, though it's not allowed in the pub anymore, thank goodness. But the minute you walk out of the pub you smell it in the student union – yuck._

_The other reason I was thinking it might be is plain old cultural difference. I've noticed that a lot of the time the British sense of humor is darker than the mainstream American brand of humor. Everyone is about being very self deprecating, critical, and ironic. Hey, are you British?_ _As you know, those things aren't really in the core of who I am. They make fun of Disney all the time…like the reaction to my new arrangement and performance of Beauty and the Beast was not too well received. Mostly polite clapping. Maybe I'm too sincere for this country – I feel like a Peanuts character in a Tim Burton movie._

_Also this isn't like Stanford or even high school, there aren't lots of clubs to join – it's just a pure arts school and there are a good number of students who are just "commuter" students who come and go and don't really hang out at school. And there's no courtyard or Lima Bean, just this gross cafeteria. No real quad area or places to hang out like the ones you've been describing to me at Stanford. So it's just not that conducive to being very social, except at the student pub, of course._

_At least I have Sam. It's been interesting to explore Edinburgh together, though I have to say that I do not really love how much we're getting lost. It's an old city and not really that logically laid out. If this was a one-time visit like when we were in San Francisco, I think I might just laugh it off like Sam does. But I think I am anxious to feel settled here, so getting lost all the time just makes me annoyed because I want to just snap my fingers and feel at instantly at home and familiar with everything here._

_Yesterday in our explorations, I was able to find Nicholson's Café, where J.K. Rowling wrote a lot of the Harry Potter books. I still can't believe you've only read the first one. What can I do to get you to read the rest?! Why do I have you in my life again?!_

_The other big news around here is that Sam's finished his macaroni portrait of me, but he won't let me take a picture of it to send to you. He says he'll bring it home at Christmas for you to see it in person, that a photo won't do the texture justice. I think it's kind of depressing looking, I look super sad – but he says his teacher liked it a lot, and he's trying some new stuff this week with different media (mediums?). It's cool to see Sam so into his art, he's getting a lot out of this program._

_Maybe more interesting to you is that this week he started dating a Scottish redhead named Mary, AND an English girl named Rebecca! He's got his hands full!_

_Well, I've gone on long enough. I think this is serving kind of as a journal for my year. Hope you don't mind. No need to write as much when you reply._

_BUT, do tell me all the latest. What else are you learning about Rob? I look forward to meeting him someday. Tell me more about your other friends – that lacrosse guy Thomas, maybe? Or anyone else you think is interesting. Have you gotten to see David over at UC Berkeley? I bet you miss the Warblers, I know I did every day I was at McKinley. Were you and Nick able to coordinate seeing each other for the USC / Stanford game? I'm bummed I'm going to miss the epic smack talk that week. Coop says that you can stay with him if it's in LA. When is your audition for that competition solo coming up for Mixed Company? Is your knee feeling better?_

_And I would like your overall reflections on your first six weeks at Stanford, please. Note that this is not an admissions essay question. But you should do it, as you will appreciate it when you write your memoirs someday, Mr. Smythe._

_And let's Skype on Saturday, how about 3PM your time, 11PM my time? I think you said you have triathlon training all morning and then something else after that?_

_Love,_

_Blaine_

_P.S. If we really wanted to do the cool old-school correspondence, we would write letters with beautiful fountain pens on gorgeous stationary and seal them with sealing wax. But I guess we're too impatient for that now._

_To: Blaine Anderson_

_From: Sebastian Smythe_

_Date: October 14, 2013_

_Subject: Re: cancelling our call_

_Killer,_

_This e-mail business feels kind of ridiculous, but ok. I certainly would not want to intrude on your beauty sleep, which would be an international disaster of epic proportions. The Blaine Anderson pretty-meter declines – headline news!_

_I still think we can find time during the day or at night, maybe between classes? What can I say, I like the instant gratification of texting. And I like your Medusa hair. Seriously. I do. Sexy._

_But yeah, you probably are right about not texting in class. I got my first midterm back, i.e., I got my ass handed to me by my engineering professor. Yes, EE is still taking me down, one goddamned equation at a time. It's humiliating. The Warblers probably would love to hear all this, so please, feel free to NOT broadcast all this until I get my act together._

_So yeah, if you want me to reflect, I think the record will reflect that Sebastian Smythe may not be as smart as he thought he was. It's such a fucking cliché, being a small fish in a big pond – blah blah blah. But here I am, studying my ass off and I still got a, I shit you not, a B- on my midterm. Smythes do not get B's, let alone B-'s. This is depressing. There's no chance in hell I'm going to get into Harvard or Wharton business school with grades like that. Don't make me reflect anymore. No one is going to want to read the memoir of the Smythe that failed after peaking in high school._

_I guess I probably haven't moaned to you about my other classes, but they aren't a walk in the park, either. My history class doesn't sound like it's going to be too difficult in terms of the exams, but the sheer volume of reading we have to do makes Dalton look like a Montessori school. My lit class is the same way. Only Calculus isn't so bad._

_At least classes are smoother sailing for you, so one of us will graduate from these institutions of higher learning we have chosen._

_And about your social life, I wouldn't worry too much about it. People love you once they get to know you – it just doesn't sound like there's been a lot of opportunity – it's only been a month. Just have patience, Killer. You have to remember that Dalton and especially the Warblers were kind of cultish – and you had performance opportunities right away there, which it doesn't sound like you've had yet over there. Once you do one of your spins and give them the Blaine Anderson sparkle, I bet they'll be at your feet once again. And never deny your Disney prince side. I know I've teased you about it, but_ Beauty and the Beast _won the golden globe for best picture. So if your pretentious British classmates are too snotty to appreciate it, then stick with Sam's art school buddies._

_Not that you have to perform for people to want to be close to you. It's just an easy channel for people to see a true bit of you. You express a part of your true self so effortlessly when you perform. I'm not sure I'm making sense, my brain is fried. I stayed up until 3AM reading fucking Chaucer for my lit class. If you see any descendants of that idiot while you're in England, shoot them for me._

_And as for getting lost, that's natural – old European cities are insanely illogical. And I seem to recall that you have a bit of an over-reliance on GPS, Inspector Gadget. So it might take you a little longer than others. Patience, young grasshopper._

_Tell Sam I'm glad someone is getting laid. And tell him I have a morbid curiosity about seeing the MacBlaineroni masterpiece at Christmas. Also tell him that I was in downtown last weekend and wandered into a comic book store that had a super old copy of a Flash comic I'm pretty sure he doesn't have. I picked it up for him and should get it in the post this week –so tell him to look for it next week. I guess I should get Sam's email address from you and tell him all this myself._

_To answer your other questions:_

_1) Harry Potter – ok ok, I'll get around to it someday. Good enough? I thought the first one was good, for a kids book. You are such a nerd._

_2) The latest thing I've learned about Rob is that he walked a neighbor's pig when he was growing up in the small rural town he was born in. Walked it like a dog. You know I don't even like dogs, so I'm not sure I can be more repulsed. Rob says it is important to "educate me about the little people," because he's convinced I will be a political strategist someday and not a Silicon Valley tycoon (he's watched me yell at the television during Hardball and Charlie Rose). I listen to his yarns about Ojai and Fillmore (where he grew up) since he's not an asshole about it, and because I think he's a little homesick._

_He got a kick out of telling me all about his uncle's ranch during most of our drive to Santa Cruz last weekend. Santa Cruz is a beach city about an hour from here. We decided to blow off our homework Saturday so he could show me a real, warm California beach (not like those cold ones we went to in San Francisco) before the weather cools off. I flirted with some girls on the beach for him and he got some phone numbers. We paid for it Sunday though, I went to bed at like 2 to get my Calculus problem set done. But it was worth it._

_Rob is very mellow, which is rare amongst some of the Type-A manic people around here. He reminds me a lot of Meatbox, except less skeevy, and more cowboy. We talk about other stuff too, the way you say you and Sam do. So he's not so bad.  
_

_3) Thomas. Good guy, from Germany. Not just impressive at lacrosse, but does century (100 mile) bike rides and raises money for cancer and stuff. Cool dude. Trying to get him to do the triathlon with me.  
_

_4) Haven't seen David yet. Stuff keeps coming up and we haven't been able to find time between our schedules. At the very least, we are grabbing a covert coffee before The Big Game (the Cal/Stanford game). The Big Game football rivalry is ridiculous; I fear for his safety if he comes on campus, I swear they'd smell the Berkeley on him. It should be Warbler gold when we finally get our act together and have a good hang. He was one of my favorites – don't tell the others, I know they would all be insanely jealous. Especially Nick.  
_

_5) Nick and I are seeing each other in November for the USC/Stanford game. It's up here this year and David will come across the bay for it, too. Unfortunately he'll have to sit with Nick because Cal guys always root for whoever Stanford is playing. By the way, tell Sam (because I know he gossips like a woman) that Nick is dating a girl he met at freshman orientation - they've been dating since before school go started, and are still going nauseatingly strong. Also tell him I don't know anything more, not her name or her shoe size, so you'll have to ask David or one of the other Warblers if you need more deets.  
_

_6) My solo audition is tomorrow – I'm doing " Runaway with Me " – you know that one (_ _Kerrigan-Lowdermilk)_ _, right? I've never performed it or sung it for an audition but they wanted us to do a Broadway song and that's the one I know best, just from messing around on my own.  
_

_7) Yeah, my knee is better- just strained a ligament or a tendon or something. I stayed off of it and just did conditioning for a couple of days and it's totally better.  
_

_8) Overall reflections – damn, you know I'm not good at this stuff, especially on the spot._

_Well I covered my academic impressions already. On the whole I'd say that I have no regrets about Stanford overall – it's impressive and challenging and has an extraordinary tradition and it's entertaining on top of that. For example, I don't think I've mentioned that there is this crazy tradition called "Full Moon on the Quad" next week where seniors come at 11PM to kiss freshmen on the Main Quad until 1AM. It's a tradition from the 1800's when senior men would bring a rose for permission to give a peck on the cheek to freshman girls. Now there's alcohol and food trucks and free mouthwash. I think I have to go just to see the mayhem. I'm told they split gay and straight and that freshmen have to give consent. We'll see if anyone meets my standards (after being around the flawlessness of Blaine Anderson so much the last couple of months, I doubt it), or if I get bored I can always pass for straight and freak out the senior girls when I tell them they've turned me gay and walk over to the gay kissing line._

_In terms of regular social life, it's fine. Like you, I don't know anyone too well yet outside of maybe Rob, but honestly I don't really mind. I'm good with the people I already have in my life (yes, like you blushing schoolboy), and the rest work well enough as diversions or companions in blowing off steam._

_I've told you the lacrosse and the triathlon guys like to party, but let me tell you the craziest party I've been to was a Stanford Marching Band party with Rob. Those guys are seriously certifiable. They took part of an abandoned ROTC building and the place looks like the most disgusting frat house you could possibly imagine. They call it the Band Shak (that is not a type-o). The carpet was the most vile smelling thing I've ever whiffed, there were coolers of questionable food, sketchy sofas, road signs stolen from the Google campus and other illustrious locations. They were dancing, playing live music (there was some serious talent) and shit, I've never seen so much drinking in one night. Who knew the band geeks would be the biggest animals on campus?_

_Is that good enough for now? I think my email is now longer than yours, how the hell did that happen? Yes, let's skype, email isn't the same: Sat 3PM PT/ 11PM your time is good. I can do anything after noon if you want to do earlier. Sorry my schedule is so nuts._

_Seb_

_P.S. Rob took this in Santa Cruz. I had to show you my new hoodie. You know you want it._

* * *

"What are you even supposed to be?" asked Sam, bewildered.

"Thurston Howell the Third, from Gilligan's Island, duh!" said Blaine. "See, I even grew some stubble and used less gel to make it more like his hair! I got some stuff to streak it gray, too!"

"Blaine, you are a gay guy and it's Halloween. You have to dress man-slutty."

"Man what?"

"Man-slutty. Man, who is slutty."

"Why? Halloween is about creativity and mystery…"

"And sluttiness. It's part of the Halloween doctrine."

"There's a Halloween doctrine?"

"Blaine, you are literally dressed like a 70 year old man. Plus no one in Britain has watched Gilligan's Island."

"That's not true. It was in syndication all over the world."

"Like 40 years ago."

"I like being retro, it's part of my signature style." Blaine sniffed.

Sam stopped fixing his hair in the mirror to turn and face his roommate. "Blaine, I'm going to stop beating around the bush here. My goal tonight is to get you laid. And that outfit is not going to help, in fact it will make meeting my goal harder. Actually because it will make _no gay guy_ harder."

"Sam!" Blaine laughed in spite of himself.

"I'm serious, dude. We've been here over a month and you haven't even flirted with anyone. All you do is moan about how much you miss being engaged to Kurt and write Sebastian super long emails and drool over how sweaty and sometimes shirtless he is when he Skypes you on the weekends – yeah don't think I don't notice you panting over your laptop. There are cool gay dudes right here! We are in an arts school, there are tons of them! Big husky, gay Scottish dudes like our man Liam! Liam seriously wants to do you. He tells me like every day when I see him in class."

"I've told you he's not my type."

"You don't have to marr - " Sam stopped himself. "You don't have to date him! You should just, you know…you should get some release!"

Blaine cheekily gestured with his arms, " That's why they invented masturbation… "

"But some intimate connection with another human being, Blaine…that would be good!"

Blaine sat down and looked at Sam with a little bit of sadness in his eyes. "No Sam, just no. I'm not ready."

Sam finally relented. "I'm sorry Blaine, I didn't mean to make you sad. It's ok, we can have fun anyway. Will you promise me that you'll at least flirt with someone tonight? Just give them one of your flirty smiles? Or at least dance? You are total tease when you dance. You can strip that blazer off and do a body roll or twerk…"

Blaine laughed, smacking Sam's arm. "No stripping, but yes, I'll dance. And I'm sorry if I've been a drag to be around. I really do want to have fun tonight with you. I love Halloween."

"Ok, but don't get carried away with having fun. When you get too drunk you get way too flirty. You need to keep your hands to yourself at least with me, 'cause Mary already thinks you and I bonk each other. And I know you think I'm hot in my Sexy Harry Potter costume."

Blaine shook his head, "JK Rowling would be appalled if she knew someone was being a shirtless Harry. It's like Stripper Harry Potter. Ugh!"

"I'm wearing the tie and cape thing at least!"

* * *

"Well holy hell, the NYPD let Senorita Lopez off probation for a weekend…" Sebastian looped a long arm around her shoulders when she came off the escalator near baggage claim.

"Hugs? California has ruined you!" Santana leaned into him in spite of her sharp words.

"Don't worry, I still have enough poison in my veins for your taste," Sebastian smirked. "But yeah, you weren't far off… Stanford people are mostly so nice that I want to blow my brains out."

"There's my boy."

"You ready to Halloween it up, California style?" Sebastian took her bag and pulled her suitcase along, leading her to the parking garage.

"The question is, is California ready for me? Santana took a sip from her water bottle. "Is Stanford far from here?"

"Half an hour or so. But we can feed your delicate appetite on the way to your hotel if you haven't had lunch yet – I can't have your New York palate come and eat hotel restaurant food or even worse, our dorm cuisine, when the eating is so good in Palo Alto and Mountain View."

"Nah, I had enough on the plane," They were silent briefly as he unlocked the car put her bag in the trunk, and she climbed in the passenger seat.

Sebastian climbed into the driver's seat. "So, how are Queen Babs and the ugliest lady in waiting, ever?"

"Smythe, you are a beast – you won! Kurt and Blaine didn't get married…lay off my gay."

Sebastian started the car and backed out. "What?! I'm just saying Hummel would be an ugly woman. So would I! And I am asking about his well-being, aren't you impressed by that? Wondering how he's holding up, because Blaine's been a delicate mess for what's felt like several dynasties. He doesn't say much about it, but he's still pretty mopey most days, I can see it even in a skype call. "

"It's only been a couple of months, you cold-hearted bastard." Santana smacked him.

"10 weeks, but who's counting? And don't touch the driver, it's dangerous!" Sebastian said, leaning away from her and up against the steering wheel. "And get your feet off my dash." He batted at her legs.

"Stop trying to cop a feel," Santana said, lowering her feet. "Kurt's doing ok, making himself madly busy starting a band on top of Vogue, a job at the diner with me, classes, and everything else."

"Remind me to mock you about that band geek diner uniform I saw you post on Facebook. And Lady Hummel's still not talking to our little Blaine, right?"

"No sweetheart, don't worry," Santana teased.

Sebastian shook his head. "I'm not worried, Gossip Girl."

* * *

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Blaine thought he was going to throw up. And once he threw up, he was going to kill Sam for (1) teaching their friends in the International House the American party chant and (2) telling them that Blaine had never had Guinness.

When he finally was released from the wrestling hold of his so-called friend Scott, he sat down to get his bearings. A blonde girl dressed as a nurse came over and sat in his lap. Blaine didn't dare move or he was might throw up in her lap. "Say something," she slurred, running her hands through his hair and completely ruining it. "Say anything. American accents are so fucking sexy."

"I can't say anything, I feel really nauseous and I might puke Guinness all over you," he said, looking pathetic. "That stuff is not a drink…it's a…it's a…meal." Whatever stuff was in Guinness was not the same stuff that was in the wine coolers, light beer and other alcoholic drinks at home that made Blaine a happy, romantic drunk. Or maybe it was the combination of the Guinness and the haggis someone made him try earlier. Then he caught a whiff of someone's joint as they walked by, and he got more nauseous.

"Of course you can say something! You just said something!" giggled the blonde. "I'm not getting off your lap until you say something," she pouted.

Blaine looked desperate. "What do you want me to say?"

"Hmmm," she said, leaning into him, chest in his face. "Tell me what Nurse Bella can do to make you feel better…"

Blaine felt a wave of nausea and was starting to feel flushed. "Bella you should really get off me right now, I actually was serious about feeling nauseous and I now I'm feeling kind of hot…I think I'd better…"

"You _are_ really hot," she said, putting one hand on his forehead and running the other hand through his hair again. She got up for a moment and he sighed in relief until she sat right back down, this time straddling his lap so she could quickly remove his jacket. "Let me help you feel more comfortable…"

"Oohh ok Bella, I should tell you right now that…" he was interrupted by her kissing him passionately. Blaine arms flailed, trying to push her off.

Liam walked by. "Not your team!" he hollered at Bella.

She yanked herself away, accidentally bumping Blaine roughly as she got up.

That did it. Thurston Howell the Third was going to need new shoes.

* * *

"There's a pretty good Despicable Me guy… oh and Liberace. And a guy wearing what appears to be an asbestos tile with a hole cut in it for his head, apparently dressed as the Debt Ceiling." Rob was commenting on the costumes of fellow students parading by the dormitory window.

"Wow, you guys really are in dork country." Santana remarked, laying down on the small couch in their suite.

"You have no idea," Sebastian commented loudly from the bathroom, where he was putting the final touches on his costume. "My electrical engineering classmates have turned dorkdom into an art form."

Rob pressed his nose to the glass. "It's too bad we can't be in two places at once, Santana. It would be great to show you all these students dancing on Leland Stanford's grave tonight. That's Stanford's most awesome tradition of them all, if you asked me."

"I appreciate the heretic sentiment, but I'd rather see the city and be with the gays tonight." Santana said, scrolling her Facebook on her phone.

Rob turned from the darkened window to announce, "That is the fifth 'Orange is the New Black' costume I've seen – if the women are that scantily dressed on that show, I should tell the Band about it."

"As if the Band ever stopped drinking long enough to watch TV," Sebastian said, smirking.

"Tell me sooner when the slutty women come by, I'll get up and come to the window," Santana said languidly.

"Don't let her boss you around, Rob!" Sebastian called.

"Don't let him tell you how to treat me, Rob!" Santana retorted.

In just a few hours, Rob had learned when to just ignore exchanges between Sebastian and his sharp-tongued, amusing friend. "Seb, are you done in there yet? 'Cause I have some costume make-up to put on, too. He left the window to check-in on his roommate. He called from the bathroom to Santana. "Oh, he has all his make-up on." He returned to the common area. "Now he's doing his hair. This could take awhile. Do you want a snack?"

Santana shook her head, then yelled, "Smythe, get your ass in hyperdrive!"

"That will be later tonight!" Sebastian called.

Rob laughed. "Did Sebastian spend as much time on his hair in high school as he does now?"

"I can tell you he wore a lot more gel in it. It went with the uniform. If you think he's preppy now, you should have seen him with his little prep school buddies, matching shoes and ties and sweater vests."

Sebastian called, "I never wore the sweater vest. Not once. And Rob, you should know that all that big talk comes from Little Miss Pom Poms, who wore a slutty cheerleader uniform like a suit of armor everyday at her little public school."

"He didn't need a slutty uniform, he could have worn a turtleneck to school and he still would have been slutty."

"You're one to talk!"

"Watch this," Santana said Rob in an undertone. "Stop airing our dirty laundry, SEBBY!"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT. Rob, you need to know that under no uncertain terms are you or anyone we know to ever, _EVER_ call me that. And I'm not fucking around about that."

"Okay, that really is a hot button," Rob chuckled to Santana. He called, "Got it loud and clear, captain. But speaking of not fucking around, I'm thinking you guys need to be helping me fend off the gays tonight, right? How scared do I need to be about going with you on Halloween to the Castro?"

"VERY SCARED," Sebastian and Santana proclaimed loudly together.

Sebastian walked out of the bathroom in clown make-up, rainbow suspenders, no shirt , tight plaid shorts and white gloves. He spun the bowler hat he was carrying and flipped it in the air. You guys ready to go yet?"

"That's it? That's what you're wearing?" Santana said, scrunching up her nose.

"Sexy Clown. That's all that was left by the time I hit the costume shop yesterday," Sebastian shrugged. "I just pulled an allnighter for my history midterm, you're lucky I'm even awake." He came over to her, towering over her and pouting. "What, you don't like it? I'm gonna cry my big clown tears on you and streak your Cleopatra make-up! Boo hoo!"

"Ok, your pout with that happy smile painted on is mucho creepy," Santana said, smirking and scooting away. Rub every bit of that white crap off your face, and the mouth. You can keep the nose and the eyebrows, that's it."

"Bossy!" Sebastian laughed, grabbing a towel and wetting it in the bathroom.

"Hey, I'm just trying to make sure you get some action tonight," Santana replied, examining her fingernails.

She paced the room while they waited for Rob. She picked up a beautifully framed photograph of the Warblers, a casual group shot where Sebastian held Jeff in a headlock; David was being held sideways but also looked like he was about to be dropped; Nick, Meatbox, and Thad were jumping in the air above the group; and rest of the Warblers were making various faces. She smiled in spite of herself. "Sentimental! You guys were such an amusing bunch of ninnies," she said, pointing at the frame.

"Don't mock the Warbler gold. Blaine told me about all the insane primadonna infighting all you McKinley misfits did, you can only wish to be as tight as the Warblers are." He lay down on his bed and moaned as he rubbed off the white clown make-up. "Shit, I'm so beat. You and Rob should just go without me, I might fall asleep on the street and you wouldn't be able to carry me home because you're a weak little woman."

"Oh no no no," Santana said, coming over to jab him in the ribs.

"Argh! Lopez! Leave me alone! I didn't sleep last night!"

"I came all the way from New York, Slick. You are showing me a good time in the city."

"Fine. But let a man lay here until Rob's ready."

"Fine." Santana continued her walk around the room. She picked up a framed photo of a beautiful older woman. "Your mom?"

"Yes."

"You look like her." Santana had noticed an odd quality to his voice, and chose not to ask more. Instead, she chose another line of questioning. "Why isn't there a framed picture of little B?"

"Who?" Sebastian asked, eyes still closed.

"Blaine? You know, your beloved? The light of your life? The fire for your loins?"

Sebastian threw a box of Kleenex with precision at her shoulder.

"Ow! What? I'm just wondering why you don't have one of his headshots framed on your bedside table for masturbation purposes."

"Like the one you have of Brittany nailed to your ceiling?"

"Bitch!" she came over to sit on him.

"Whore!" he grunted. "Did you gain some weight?"

She grabbed his ear.

"Ow! Aren't women supposed to be nurturing and shit?"

Rob emerged from the bathroom dressed as a Star Trek character. "Ok, I'm ready to roll."

Santana got up and looked at Sebastian, who was sitting up.

"Yeah, he's actually one of the dorks, too. But his mom makes killer cookies."

Santana remarked, "Buddy, you don't have to worry too much about the predatory gays in that outfit."

* * *

Blaine slowly got his phone out to Skype-text Sebastian.

_BLAINE: Happy Halloween, I just puked. That is your Blaine report for the day._

_SEBASTIAN: Oh that sucks. Make sure you drink a ton of water. Where the hell is Sam? He's supposed take care of you. Are you home, or at that Halloween party still?_

_BLAINE: Yeah, I'm still at the party, I don't know why._

_SEBASTIAN: Who threw the party? Can you go into one of the bedrooms to lie down?_

_BLAINE: Three flats on the top floor of our dorm combined forces to make me throw up. I'm pretty sure all the bedrooms are occupied by people snogging or shagging. Is Santana there yet?_

_SEBASTIAN: It's good to know you are well-versed on the hooking-up lingo there in the great UK. Yes, Tana's here and she's already wreaking havoc in my life. I didn't end up sleeping at all last night because of that midterm, and she's insisting I still take her to the Castro to raise the roof somewhere._

_BLAINE: I know you love her or you wouldn't have invited her for Halloween. Tell her I love her and that she should come take care of me instead of you._

_SEBASTIAN: She'd just tell you to suck it up, that's all the TLC I'm getting from her._

_BLAINE: You guys should go to that club you and I went to…Q Bar. What are you guys doing now, it's still early, right?_

_SEBASTIAN: We're at dinner with Rob in the Marina before we head into the Castro. We're having like a three hour dinner and drinks since we have time to kill before the clubs get hopping._

_BLAINE: I'm glad you're spending Halloween with Rob too, he seems like such a good guy. Three hours for dinner sounds so leisurely and fun. Santana can keep you entertained for that long, too._

_SEBASTIAN: Yeah I haven't done this in forever. I'm eating the whole menu since I'm going to dance it off tonight. It's like I'm back in France except the waiters are rushing us to turn over the table. I hate America sometimes. You shouldn't hurry back._

_BLAINE: It sounds like fun, anyway. I love San Francisco so much. I wish I was with you guys._

_SEBASTIAN: Isn't it 3AM over there? Especially if you threw up, you should just go home. And don't forget to drink a lot of water._  
_SEBASTIAN: Like a gallon._  
_SEBASTIAN: And makes sure you rinse any puke out of your hair, even if you're super exhausted. You don't want to wake up with that.  
_ _SEBASTIAN: And brush your teeth, You want to minimize whatever your mouth is going to taste like in the morning._

Blaine suddenly missed having Sebastian take care of him. He started to text a reply as he slowly stood up. Sam walked by, carrying a beer in each hand. "Sam, I'm going to go home."

"What? No way, Blainey! It's so early!" Sam was definitely drunk, really, really super-drunk.

"It's 3AM. I danced, like you said. I had some fun. Then you became an evil haggis and Guinness pusher with all your art school friends. Then, even though it was way past midnight, I turned into pumpkin. Or jack o lantern. Then I threw up my pumpkin guts."

"Oh come on, Blaine…I was just going to get the karaoke started! You can't resist a microphone, I know that!"

Blaine shook his head.

Sam grabbed his phone out of his hand. "Who are you texting?" He leered. "Booty call?"

"Just Seb," Blaine swiped at him to get the phone back, still feeling unsteady on his feet.

"Sebastian? No, not Sebastian AGAIN!" Sam declared dramatically, "That dude has you chained to him and the Yanks by e-mail and Skype! You gotta live a little here in GREAT Britain!" Grinning, he started texting on Blaine's phone.

"What are you doing Sam? Give that to me!"

Sam used his height and strength advantage and kept the phone out of reach as he walked away, texting furiously.

"Give it back!"

* * *

"Who are you texting?" Santana came back to their table from the restroom and stood behind Sebastian's shoulder. "Put it away, I am Cleopatra and you must be my court jester, creepy-clown boy! All hail!"

Rob laughed.

"Hmm? Oh, it's just Blaine. He threw up and I'm reminding him of what to do before he goes to bed, since he's probably still a little drunk." Sebastian was distracted while typing the long texts.

"So have you heard all about Blaine?" Santana asked Rob.

"I wouldn't say I've heard ALL about Blaine, but I'm putting together the pieces." Rob replied with a sympathetic glance towards his roommate.

"Leave Short-Stack alone, Bastian. The hobbit needs time to heal." Santana said, bumping him so he would move over in the booth to make room for her. "And we need to start warming up for this wild night ahead of us. We need to order some wine to go with dinner."

Sebastian's phone pinged with another text.

_BLAINE: Sorry Seb, I gotta go, I may have just thrown up but there is a hot doctor here who says he wants to make me feel better! Happy Halloween!_

Santana couldn't read the look that flashed across Sebastian's face. "Hello, I told you to put that away! We need to order some wine."

He shoved his phone in his pocket and arched an eyebrow. "You meant shots, right?"

"Uh-oh," said Rob.

* * *

Blaine crawled downstairs to his dorm room after abandoning his phone. He followed what he could remember of Sebastian's instructions and crawled into his blue pajamas and lay down on his bed. He lay down on the crappy mattress of his dorm bed in the very tiny dorm room that had walls made of massive bricks that made him feel like he lived in a prison cell. They were painted gray, too. He finally crawled under the covers, thinking about the superficial fun he had dancing with near-strangers while watching Sam and being envious of his new relationship with Mary. He had been surrounded by new friends all night but he'd never felt so lonely before. He wasn't even in his own country and he couldn't even go home to his old bed in his parents' house. He missed Sebastian, he missed Tina, he missed his mom, he missed Kurt, he even missed Cooper and his dad. But he couldn't even text or call any of them because stupid drunk Sam had his phone.

It was his good fortune that he fell asleep before he could feel any lonelier.

* * *

Sebastian Smythe earned a reputation quickly in his circles at Stanford for being an impressive drunk. Though he took a shot of Courvoisier in his coffee and drank top-shelf scotch by choice, he was open-minded to a fault in his willingness to drink tequila, gin, vodka, wine, beer and almost any other libation available. But the diversity of liquor he imbibed was not what impressed his friends. What was truly impressive was his ability to drink most of his classmates under the table without truly losing control. Alcohol seemed to make him more playful, a little bit louder, a lot more relaxed, and some argued a little bit sweeter. Though he never discussed it, since his days in Paris it had also become very useful to numb any anger, fear, discomfort or pain. But some of the effects that alcohol had on others were not known to apply to Sebastian – he did not lose muscle control, he did not slur his speech, he did not become overly emotional, angry or verbal. No matter how much he drank, he also did not act inappropriately or become uncontrollably promiscuous - any promiscuity was very calculated .

Again, in short he did not lose control. On many nights he was known to drink unbelievable amounts of scotch all night and still remain in complete control over his physical, mental, and emotional capabilities.

Tonight was not one of those nights.

Rob and Santana learned on Halloween that Out-of-Control!Drunk!Sebastian = Belligerent!Sebastian. By the 2nd Castro club Halloween party and his umpteenth tequila shot, he was heatedly grinding with half the younger men on the dance floor. By the 4th club he had moved on to vodka, started a club brawl and was thrown out of the club. At around 2AM Sebastian was drinking scotch, verbally abusing the bartender and leaning heavily on Rob when they were thrown out of their 5th club.

Santana was drinking as well but not nearly as much.

"Ugh," Rob grunted under Sebastian's weight. "I was just telling my mom that my roommate is the most chill over-achiever I ever met. Who the hell is this guy?"

Santana shrugged. "I've never seen him this way. Apparently, with enough liquor he becomes like me - he goes to the yelling place. He has rage," She laughed, snapping one of Sebastian's suspenders. "Nice grinding in the dance floor, Slick! Man, those Warbler moves were just the tip of the hip swinging iceberg! You could compete with Sam on the stripper circuit! I wish Quinn was here, she'd jump your bones and take advantage of your stone-cold drunken state of being."

"Aw, that'd be no good…she's beautiful…but I'm gay!" Sebastian slurred grumpily. "I like boys! And boys like me!"

He ran his hand through his hair. "Except one boy! There is one boy who doesn't like me, and I can't shake him, no matter how many other boys I grind with. Fucking hell!" Then he collapsed to the curb, taking Rob down with him.

Santana sat down with him. "Hey now, don't crap out on me now."

Rob gave her a sideways glance. "I'm really okay if he craps out on us now."

Sebastian was cantankerous. "No no no, Tana – don't bully me! Listen to Rob! He knows what he's fucking talking about!" He pounded a fist on his own knee. "I am not dancing any more! Those fucking clubs keep kicking us out! And I'm done dancing with those ugly boys in there! I want to talk about my FEELINGS for the BEAUTIFUL boy who isn't here, the one who is all the way over in the fucking UK! Nick always tries to get me to talk about my FEELINGS and this is the time! 'Cause why not, if not now, then when?!"

"Dios mio," Santana rolled her eyes. "Rob what did you guys do to my boy at Stanford?"

Rob chuckled. "Maybe he contracted a belligerent virus at Full Moon over the Quad last week."

"Full Moon over the what?" Santana asked.

"I'll explain later," Rob said, trying to shift the deadweight of Sebastian's arm to a more comfortable position around his neck. "Maybe we should focus on getting this big guy home."

But Sebastian wasn't budging. He began hollering again. "Blaine, the sexiest man alive, has a hot doctor making him feel better tonight! Who the fuck knows what they will do with the stethoscope? And what do I have?! You two twelve year old babysitters who won't let me go into a single fucking back room!"

Rob was unperturbed. "As your roommate, it's my job to make sure you don't earn yourself an STD, which is what would definitely happen in there, brother. You can't open a condom wrapper right now, let alone use one right."

Santana said, "And oh my god you're being such a baby. You and Blaine aren't even dating. If he wants to get some tail, that's his prerogative."

"Of course it's his preroga..rotative!" Sebastian tripped over the word, still royally pissed off. "We're just friends! We're just friends! We're just friends! I think we are going to be friends for fucking ever!" He pounded his knee again. "OH MY FUCK I'm going to end up being a groomsman at his next wedding to HUMMEL! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

Santana softened. He was just so pathetic. "Slick, stop being such a drama queen. All reports from the New Directions gossip chat say you two were pretty handsy in San Francisco on your little vacation with Sammy boy, right? You'll see him at Christmas."

Sebastian turned and yelled into her face intensely. "Oh please, Blaine would cuddle with a boa constrictor if one came by! He was just being his annoyingly grateful self and being all thankful and platonic and shit! And I bet he was just using me as his cuddle whore because Hummel is not currently on his plate!"

Santana smacked his cheek lightly. "Stop being a jackass– you gotta have patience, you big whiner. Blaine should spend some time alone and then he can make a decent boyfriend choice."

Sebastian bumped her shoulder in frustration. "I'm not even on the menu to choose from, Snix – that's my goddamned point! I'm sick of being treated like a goddamned eunuch!"

"Now you're just fishing for compliments, you weasel. As if anyone could think you were a eunuch after seeing that hot bod. I mean since you've started doing your triathlon crap, I even think you might actually have an ass now…."

Sebastian cooled off a little at the compliments. He pouted, "It wouldn't kill _him_ to compliment me on anything else besides 'what a good friend' I am!"

Santana saw the opportunity and nodded to Rob. "Come on Twink, let's go find a Dunkin Donuts and get you some coffee, and then get you home. You can curse and bitch about all this all the way home and then some more in the morning."

"Nag," groused Sebastian, struggling to his feet with Rob's help.

"Idiot," Santana retorted.

* * *

It was about noon when Blaine awoke to the buzzing of his phone, which Sam had laid next to his head on the pillow. It was Sebastian on a Skype voice call.

"Seb…" he grunted.

" You alone , my little pita pocket?" Sebastian slurred, was lying in his bed finally, but still a fairly drunk.

"Yeah. I am hungover and just waking up. Why wouldn't I be?"

"The doctor…"

Blaine had no idea what I he was talking about, but his head was pounding too hard to care, especially since it was clear Sebastian was drunker than Blaine had ever seen him. "Huh? You're so drunk, Seb. You should go to sleep. And just so you know, my head is going to explode, so I can't talk long, either."

"I'm not so drunk any more. Drunk was a couple of hours ago when I got thrown out of two clubs. I just called to say goodnight, Killer. Halloween sucked hard. And not in the good way."

"Same here. It blew chunks. Literally."

"Ugh, don't say that. I might throw up, too."

"Go to sleep, Seb."

"Ok," Sebastian huffed. "But if I go to sleep, I might not wake up. Tana thinks I am at risk for alcohol poisoning."

"And you say _I'm_ a drama queen."

"I'm not being dramatic. This could happen. You didn't see how much I drank tonight. But if I die just know that I love you and that you can have all my hoodies ."

"Aw, Seb."

"Can you read me my last rites?"

"I can't open my eyes so I can't read anything."

"Ok, then at least sing me a lullaby."

"My mouth feels like cotton so I'm not sure about that, either."

"What kind of friend are you?"

"An incredibly hungover one. Good night, Seb."

"Good night, B."

* * *

Thanks for your patience as we got our final edits on this chapter. Hopefully you enjoyed Halloween more than our boys did. At least Sam had a good time :)

Also hope you are enjoying my first original character (besides Uncle Willy, but Uncle Willy was lifted straight out of High Society), Rob. I was happy that Seb was fortunate enough to get a good roommate, we all know that is not always the case in college! We all know Seb could use a non-snarky friend in his life.

Please review, interested in your thoughts on Rob, where this is all going, the Halloween costumes we picked, etc. etc. Be gentle, but also feel free to suggest improvements! We're having so much fun writing this and are glad you are taking the time to read!


	5. Thanksgiving, Vibrato, and Baggage Claim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian sleeps while Blaine cooks. Blaine gets some news. Sam and Nick spy.

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
_From: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: December 4, 2013  
_ _Subject: Emerging from four day hibernation_

_Hey Killer,_

_It's the middle of the night for you but I know you have your last midterm tomorrow, so I'm refraining from Skype-calling you, as much as I'd love to see your delicious bedhead._

_Sorry for all the phone tag all weekend, and having to cancel our Skype call because of the internet problems at Rob's parents' house. I couldn't believe my phone didn't have good coverage there, either – I thought I was supposed to have a good network everywhere. It's always gratifying to know that I pay a wad every month for crappy service. It's not like we were truly in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, between all that and you being in the boonies for the weekend in the venerable Scottish Highlands, chatting with you 'twas not to be, 'o curly haired one (damn, my Lit class is taking over my brain, what the fuck am I writing)._

_One upside to unplugging from the grid was how amusing it was to make my parents scramble a bit to track me down on Thanksgiving day. But in the end we had the same conversations I have with them every holiday:_

_* Dad – grumpily awkward with a side order of "reminding" (issuing random decrees)._

_* Mom– wistful guilt with a good dollop of pretending that we are closer than we are._

_The other upside of unplugging was that it gave this sad sack a little time and space to recharge. Even though I brought the usual nightmare load of homework, the urgency to do it was overcome by the incredibly sleep-inducing combination of Rob's house + no emails, texts or calls._

_Rob's family seems like an anomaly amongst families. They seem to like being together, but they don't have to talk constantly or try too hard. His mom made some stuff she likes to make, but ordered more than half of the turkey dinner, including the turkey, from the local gourmet market. No one was working too hard on Thanksgiving, unlike so many other Thanksgivings I've been invited to. They had an early dinner at like 2PM, and then everyone just went to do their own thing. There was no forced family interaction, though they spent time together anyway. Rob's older sister and her mom read books in the sunroom. His brother in law and his niece played board games; Rob and I watched football with his dad._

_You'll like this bit, because I know you love it when I'm sleepy. After only about ½ hour of football, I was nodding off on the couch. I never sleep well the first night in a new place, so I guess my exhaustion didn't hit me until the next day. I did want watch the game though, so I was stupidly torturing myself trying to stay awake. Then all of sudden I see Rob's mom in front of me. She didn't say a word, she just took me by the hand and led my stumbling ass up to the guest room. I was just so bone-tired all of sudden - I could barely see straight._

_Sometimes when a family invites me to spend Thanksgiving with them, I get treated like a pathetic orphan they picked up off the street, or worse, some bedraggled stray dog. The only upside to those weekends were usually the food. But this time there was no pity, no awkwardness, no fussiness - Rob's mom just literally tucked my wretched hide into the featherbed in their guest room and turned out the light. I don't think anyone has tucked a comforter under my chin since my au pair when I was eight. But damn that bed felt so good, I didn't think I ever wanted to get up again. I ended up taking like a 3 hour nap, I kid you not. I don't think I've ever taken a nap that long._

_When I woke up, I had like 4 kinds of pie with everyone. So I don't expect these chiseled abs I've been bragging to you about to still exist by the time I see you. Rob's mom was saying she remembered her freshman year as an engineering major at UCLA, and that my big nap was understandable. Then Rob tried to get me to watch a movie but I fell asleep in like 15 minutes. After Rob shoehorned me into bed (in a far less maternal manner), I slept for like 12 more hours. Rob's mom said my body just needed it._

_For the rest of the weekend it was much the same. I slept and slept and slept and slept, and then I slept some more. Same deal, afternoon nap and early bedtime - I was basically an eighty year old man all weekend. Thankfully, I also managed to get a fair amount of homework done, too._

_I took this pic in their sunroom where I did some of my reading for history and lit on Saturday - you would have liked it._

[](http://imgur.com/YZDlGWA)

_I got in a run through the countryside by a lake Friday morning, and later Rob and his niece (the least obnoxious eight year old I've ever met), walked me around Ojai. It is actually a pretty posh small town – I guess Joanne Woodward has a place there. We studied at the public library, which was a good change of pace. Saturday watched more football and went for a bike ride. That night Rob played chess with his Dad while I read something for pleasure for the first time since our trip to San Francisco (and no, it wasn't Harry Potter, sorry). I swear college has sucked almost all the pleasure out of reading. Then Rob's niece beat me at checkers, and didn't even gloat about it. Rob thinks it's because Violet is scared of me. I don't see why, I didn't give her any reason to be scared of me. Anyway, I obviously lost to a 2_ _nd_ _grader because I was tired. And you obviously will not be sharing this droll story with anyone else – got it, little B?_

_So that was my Thanksgiving. While it still feels like I only scratched the surface of the quantity of sleep I need to really recover, it was still a decent respite before the final stretch of this odious quarter._

_Two weeks left, we're closing in on the end. Here are the midterm exam reports from Sebastian Smythe, Academic Disgrace:_

_Engineering, B (there were so many freaking questions on that exam)_  
_Calculus, A_  
_History, B+(also ran out of time)  
_ _Lit, B (damn Beowulf)_

_Pulling off a Smythe report card is going to take a miracle. I have to get my act together if Harvard or Wharton business school are going to even be in the cards. At least the extracurriculars are slowing down with everyone buckling down for finals._

_You might remember Wednesday was the triathlon we've been training for all quarter. I swear I didn't think I was going to finish. I thought my muscles were going to give out on me, that is the honest-to-god truth. Obviously the swimming was toughest part, given my Midwestern roots; then the biking had more hills than I felt reasonable after swimming for a half mile; and then of course the running felt very unlike my normal runs, because of the goddamn biking and swimming. . I did finish, but clearly I didn't train enough because Thomas and like 8 other guys kicked my ass. By a lot. And of course the crowning glory was that a couple of girls beat me. Okay, they also beat the 20 guys behind me, but still. Yes, Sebastian Smythe, former star athlete, was also humiliated in Stanford's athletic realm._

_Mixed Company won our area competition. I got to ooh and aah in the background - exhilarating, let me tell you. Ok, it wasn't that bad, but obviously I missed singing lead. They promised me a solo in the spring but I'll believe it when I see it. In the meantime, I appointed myself to the role of choreographer because these people do not know how to move. At least having girls in the group means they have more flexibility on the whole than the Warblers. But we have a few holiday performances coming up and I don't know how I'm going to choreograph all the Christmas numbers and study for finals at the same time._

_Lacrosse conditioning was the best thing I did all quarter, even though I didn't get as much field time as I would have liked, because they don't let us scrimmage too much in pre-season. Fencing has been fun as always, but our tournament is coming up this week and it feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like somehow, even though we're supposed to be seeded appropriately, my opponent will have trained much harder than me and I will be cut to ribbons._

_Sometimes I think college has cut me to ribbons, B. It's not really what I thought it would be like. I definitely stretched myself too thin. I'm failing to some degree at everything and succeeding at nothing. My father said to me on Thanksgiving that I need to "lose the arrogance" – which is rich coming from him – and I hate that he is right. I was a conceited idiot to take on so much this quarter._

_At least your quarter has sounded more balanced than mine, even though I know you haven't felt incredibly personally connected. At least it sounds like you're making progress in that area. I'm glad you found some kindred spirits in that Film Club…have you found anyone who agrees with me about_ Gone with the Wind _? Did you get the bonding time you hoped for this weekend with Sam and those crazy international kids?_

_Speaking of Sam, be sure to tell him that the holiday treat I am looking forward to the most is the sweet, sweet day I get to punish him for that Halloween text. Tell him I am still determining the nature of his punishment, but that he should be very, very afraid._

_Also tell your mother thank you for inviting me to stay with you over Christmas vacation. I couldn't believe my dad was going to ask Teresa and the rest of the staff to work over the holidays just for me while he is out of town. It's like he thinks I'm incapable of ordering from a take-out menu._

_It will be interesting to see an American Christmas again after spending the last seven or eight in Paris. And of course it should be interesting to experience the Anderson household during the holiday season. Cooper high on peppermint bark and candy cane mocha is going to be a frightening spectacle._

_Don't forget to send me your flight info. I arranged for a car to pick all of us up. Nick managed to also get a flight from LA that lands around the same time, so it will be a roadtrip reunion, for better or for worse._

_I've got to run, but I'm here if you need me. And we'll talk Saturday as usual, right? Without training or practice, I can Skype earlier – I'm sure my body will regrettably wake me by 8AM (Rob clanging around), so whatever works for you after that should be fine. I'll just be up to my ears in cramming for finals._

_Seb_

P.S. _I am including this against my better judgment, but here it is, because I know the crappy Scottish weather has been getting you a little down. I sacrifice my dignity to lighten up your day with the laughter at my expense that will surely be forthcoming._

 _Yes, on Saturday night Rob's mangy little dog (that had been following me around all weekend) joined me in my bed without my knowledge. Rob of course had to take this photo._ [](http://imgur.com/iEKjAwN)

_Can you believe the gall of that mutt? It thinks it's a person and decided_ I _was a good featherbed apparently. I nearly went into cardiac arrest when I woke up with all that fur and dog drool on my arm. The furball just stared at me, looking all drowsy like it was thinking, "What? Go back to sleep." Dogs are odd creatures._

_Rob's been living with me long enough to know not to post this anywhere, but he did tell me I should send it to you to keep up your spirits in that crappy Scottish weather . I include it only because I trust you have a very clear understanding that I will murder you in cold blood if you leak this to any form of social media, email it to anyone, or show Sam or anyone else. I count on your understanding of these terms, Anderson. I will be home for Christmas and will check in with Sam personally – and you know how fast I could break him. If I hear about anything from him, you should know that there is no place that you and your bowties can hide where I won't find you._

* * *

_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: December 5, 2013  
_ _Subject: Re: Emerging from four day hibernation_

_Seb,_

_First of all, the photo of you and that little dog is the cutest thing I've seen in my entire life. I am smiling from ear to ear! It's killing me that I can't show Sam. PLEASE?! Just Sam? What is that little cutie's name? I can just imagine it following you around all weekend. I hope you didn't kick it or anything, it's obvious it has a crush on you ( or at least the way you smell, which we all know is spectacular - ha ha). Tell Rob I love him for taking that picture and getting you to send it to me. It completely and absolutely lifted my spirits, which needed boosting. My last midterm was much harder than I expected._

_Second of all, thank you so much for the amazing care package. We shared a few of the See's Candies with Mary, Liam, Scott and the rest, but Sam and I hoarded most of it for ourselves because the others can't appreciate American chocolates the way we do. As for Rob's mom's cookies, I didn't even show them to Sam. They were heavenly! I officially want you to put Rob on a plane and tell him he and Sam are trading places. I put the beautiful print of Tiburon up on my bedroom wall over my desk so I can look at it while I am writing a real letter to you soon with the beautiful fountain pen, stationary and sealing wax kit you sent. They all look like they cost a small fortune – you didn't need to do that. But thank you for being so thoughtful – you have no idea how wonderful it was to get a piece of home and you here. I've been so homesick._

_Finally, thank you for taking the time to write such a long and interesting email so close to finals. I printed it out and hunkered down with it on the couch this morning with a cup of hot chocolate . In the pouring Scottish rain, news of your California life is like a burst of sunshine._

_I'm sorry you had those weird Thanksgiving conversations with your parents – from other things you've said I know that they love you, they are just not good at showing it. But like we said at the lake this summer, we make our own families outside of the ones we're born with. And one thing I am incredibly thankful for this Thanksgiving is that it sounds like you have found more of your self-made family. Rob's folks sound wonderful. When you told me his mom tucked you in, I'll admit I got a little weepy . I also can't believe you played with a real, live child. I'm still in shock from that._

_Honestly, I'm terribly envious of your whole Thanksgiving visit with them. I had the opposite of a family Thanksgiving. It turned out to be 16 of us international students in two rental houses up in the town of Drumnadrochit on the shores of Loch Ness. It was freezing out but beautiful. We were such enthusiastic tourists that we didn't let the biting wind and drizzle stop us from walking and hiking around. It helped that Sam kept doing impressions of Sean Connery to make us laugh. The photo I've attached is one I took of him, right before he ran back inside to put his coat on_ _._

[](http://imgur.com/QGZ5zXZ) [](http://imgur.com/w1cIMng) ___  
I feel my affection growing for this international crowd we've been running with (mostly French, Germans, Italians), but I still haven't "clicked" with anyone. It feels similar to when I started at McKinley. Mike and I didn't get closer until the second semester, so maybe that will happen here, too._ _ _

_Anyway, Sam and I made a real Thanksgiving dinner for the Europeans, meaning I made everything and Sam made ice water and did impressions of Steve Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Everyone drank like crazy and it was fun. I made everyone watch Beauty and the Beast and then I even led a little sing-a-long while Sam played his guitar._

_Sam and I haven't really personally connected much lately though, he and Mary are stuck together like one of your peanut butter and honey sandwiches. So I'm still a little lonely and blue. I've been thinking that it's not just about being homesick, but maybe it's tied up with the cancelled wedding and withdrawing from NYADA and everything else. So I went to see the student psychological services department here to see if some therapy could help. I remembered you said it helped you when your grandmother passed away, and I remembered that the therapist Mr. Schuester brought in after Finn's death had some helpful things to say. I've only been to one session and just had time to share my background, but I think it should be helpful. I liked the therapist._

_I'm sorry you feel so badly about your midterms – I don't think they are bad at all for a first quarter at a school like Stanford. You are terribly smart Seb, I hate to see you down on yourself about it. Learning and being smart are more than just tests and grades._

_Same goes for your triathlon. That was your first ever, and you finished in front of 20 other guys and only behind 9? That includes all the upperclassmen, right? That sounds pretty awesome to me. They've told you that you're going to be a starting player on the lacrosse team as a freshman, too. I don't think that counts as humiliation in Stanford's athletic realm. Add to that the fact that you are going to triumph at your fencing tournament…because I know you're going to be pretending your opponent is Hunter Clarington! :D_

_You have so much to be proud of this quarter Seb. An award winning acapella group like Mixed Company has entrusted you, again even though you are "just" a freshman, with their choreography. I've always thought you have a great voice, but ultimately your charisma and dance moves are really your signature performance strengths. You completely transformed the Warblers, and given your recent win, it sounds like you're doing the same for MC. And of course they will give you that promised solo this spring, they would be stupid to say that and not deliver to someone as valuable as you. As for the holiday numbers, just recycle some stuff, it doesn't have to be perfect, just fun for a holiday crowd._

_I wish you wouldn't beat yourself up about what you think you haven't done or should not have done. You were NOT a conceited idiot to take on what you did this quarter. You were ambitious and confident – willing to take on a lot to see how it would go, and from the beginning you never assumed you would necessarily succeed perfectly in all of those areas – I remember that distinctly from one of our calls back in September. That is not arrogance._

_And even better, you adjusted as was necessary – you dropped golf and drama and it sounds like you don't party as hard as you did in high school. But you're still balanced, you aren't a recluse or something - you go out and it sounds like you're popular and are having fun. You've developed a good friendship with Rob and you are getting to know the guys on your teams and the Mixed Company crowd. All in all, I think you went in and kicked butt in college. If you feel stretched thin, then you'll adjust some more next quarter, but I hope you won't think you've failed this quarter, because you definitely have not, not by any stretch of the imagination._

_All that being said, anyone with their head screwed on straight is not going to ultimately measure you by what you accomplish at Stanford or anywhere else. We love you because of who you are, not what you do._

_You sound more tired than anything else. I'm SO glad you got some rest over the weekend, I hope you will try to get what you can to get you through finals, too._

_And once you get through them, we get to go back good ole' Ohio! I can't wait. Sam booked our tickets, so I'll have him send our flight info to you. I'm excited that we'll finish our fall quarter adventure the way it began, with the four of us!_

_Good luck with everything today and this week – talk soon. Saturday looks good for skype, regular time._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

P.S. _I gave Sam a snapshot I took of you from senior year and look what he drew from it in his class! You should forward this to your mom – I bet she'll want to frame it. I love it and made Sam give it to me, but if your mom wanted the original I would give it to her._

[](http://imgur.com/1nDuC03)

[X](http://live4artinla.deviantart.com/art/quot-Hello-Sebastian-quot-Drawing-272055570)

_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: December 5, 2013  
_ _Subject:Blaine on Broadway_

_Right after I hit "send" on my last email I got a call with some news. Remember how I got strep throat a couple of weeks ago? Well the antibiotics weren't working that well, so I went today to an ear, nose and throat doctor. I got to talking with the doctor about my trouble singing vibrato. So he did this weird thing where they sent a tiny camera down to look at the folds of my vocal chords. He just called to tell me that he was finally able to examine the images. It turns out I have some weird defect and my folds don't close all the way, so I'll never be able do a full vibrato. Crazy, huh? So now I guess I need to figure out how the reduced number of roles I can play fits into my plans. Maybe I start focusing on auditioning for supporting roles?_

_Well, I have to grab breakfast and finish my homework – we can talk more about this later._

* * *

It was heading towards three when Blaine picked up a Skype call as he was walking in the Royal Conservatory Student Union. "Seb? What are you doing calling so early?"

Sebastian actually did sound a little sleepy. "Come on Killer, what do you think I'm calling about?"

"Uh…"

"Your vocal chords."

Blaine sat down in the cafeteria. "Oh, that." He sighed. "It was good of you to call Seb, but I actually have to leave for class in like five minutes. Can I call you later?" He glanced at his watch. "You probably have to go too, isn't it like 7AM where you are? Aren't you usually off to something by now?"

"Lacrosse conditioning, but that's over until the new year. I guess my body is still used to being awake. But let's get back to you, especially if we only have 5 minutes. You ok?"

"Yeah, more or less." Blaine said without conviction.

"B, it's me. Talk to me."

"Ok, I'm kinda devastated."

"The cheesy vibrato thing is overrated."

"Your vibrato is beautiful," Blaine argued.

"My vibrato is even cheesier than most."

"Broadway requires vibrato, Seb."

"Not all of it. There are a lot of great parts that don't necessarily require it. You were extraordinary in West Side Story without it. And there are tons of pop based shows these days… Jersey Boys, I think Hairspray. I saw a guy do How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying without vibrato, or at least he was sort of faking a vibrato. It worked. You'll make it work, there will be plenty of parts for you…it's a stylistic thing for a lot of…"

"Seb, can you just…" Blaine trailed off in frustration.

Sebastian rubbed his forehead. "Sorry, I'm being an idiot. I'll stop trying to solve your problems." He swallowed, sitting up in bed. "I'm sorry, B. It must suck to hear that you might be locked out of a bunch of roles."

"Yeah, it kind of does." Blaine sighed and looked at his watch. "Ok, it might get loud in the hall because now I do have to go to class." He stood up and packed up his satchel.

"Okay," Sebastian said reluctantly, not wanting to hang up. "But make Sam treat you like a prince tonight. Tell him I said his girl is going to have to fly solo, that he'd better hand over all the See's candy, give you control of the remote, and share all the comics I've been sending him. And tell him if he doesn't do all of this, I'll bust his ass when I see him, and that he'd better believe I can do it, because I know I've been working out more than he has if he's got himself at girl and is hitting the pub every night."

"Okay, okay, I get the idea," Blaine smiled in spite of himself as he walked down the hallway.

"And Killer?"

"Yes?" Blaine looked distracted as he pushed open the doors to his classroom.

"Hey, look at me."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I can tell you're distracted. I know you want to go to class, but for just a few seconds, pretend we're on a skype call or better yet, that I'm standing in front of you. "

Blaine sighed and stared at the professor's lectern. "Okay, okay, I'm imagining you here. But seriously, make this quick."

"You're not helping. Ok let's do it this way. Close your eyes."

Blaine stopped walking to lean on a wall. "Fine. They're closed."

"Great. Now let's try this again." Sebastian paused. "Killer?"

"Yes?"

"You sing like a dream."

"Aww, Seb." Blaine's eyes opened and he smiled.

"Keep your eyes closed, and listen to me. You sing like a dream, but more importantly, you're a star – which has nothing to do with your physical capabilities. Don't ever forget that. You could be mute, old, wrinkled and otherwise talentless and we'd all still worship you. But as you are none of those things, don't give up now - the world is still waiting breathlessly for the crazy charisma and talent of one Blaine Anderson, Broadway/West End/Hollywood star. Vibrato or no fucking vibrato."

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck as he felt a wave of love. "I miss you, Seb."

Seb took a quick breath and replied bluntly. "I miss you too, Killer. Now get to class."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

"Nick!"

"Sam!"

Sam barreled off the airport escalator bringing him from the gates to the baggage claim. He nearly knocked over Nick with his enthusiastic hug. "Man, it's good to see someone from home!"

Nick laughed, straightening his hair and clothes. "It's great to see you too, man. It's a good thing the crazy amounts of snow didn't delay our flights. But where's Blaine?"

"Oh, there was a family that wanted to sit together so of course Blaine offered to move for them and he ended up way in the back of the plane in a middle seat. I texted him to say I would get the bags for us since there were some slow families with babies and little kids in front of him."

Nick looked around them. "And I guess Sebastian isn't here yet, either."

"It should be quite a reunion for those two," Sam said thoughtfully. "They were emailing and skyping and calling like everyday this quarter. "

"Really?" Nick looked surprised.

"Yeah," Sam looked somber. "You know earlier in the quarter I was giving Blaine grief about how much he was talking to Sebastian. But I have to admit that now I'm really glad Seb's been able to talk to him a lot lately, since he got the news about his vocal chords."

"Blaine's vocal chords?"

"The doc found some kind of defect he was born with, I guess it's the part where the vocal chords open and close. He says Blaine'll never be able to sing a full-on vibrato."

"Oh man, that's gotta be a bummer for Blaine. He sounds so great anyway, though."

"Yeah of course he does, but you know Blaine. He wants to be perfect." Sam's lower lip protruded a bit. "I've been trying to cheer him up every way I know how, but it really has been the emails and Skype calls with Sebastian that have helped the most lately."

Nick nodded in comprehension, taking the news in. After a moment or two, he added, "You know it's cute, Sebastian has played it so cool all quarter whenever I asked him about Blaine. He did not make it seem like they were in that close contact." He looked amused. "I bet when we see him he is going to try to be all nonchalant with him."

Sam had to smile, too. "That's funny, because Blaine is convinced that Sebastian isn't crushing on him, and he keeps denying that he's crushing on Seb, but it is still so obvious they are into each other – just like at the Third Eye Blind concert."

"Yeah, it should be funny to watch them tiptoe around each other in front of us when they get here," Nick glanced up at the escalator bringing passengers down.

Sam had a sudden gleam in his eye. "Ooh, let's spy on them! Come on!" He gestured for Nick to follow him. They hid themselves behind a giant cement pillar and waited a few more minutes, chatting and keeping an eye on the escalator.

In the middle of one of Sam's stories about his new kilt, Nick said abruptly, "There's Sebastian!" They hid themselves more carefully and peeked out furtively.

Nick started using a documentary announcer style: "Welcome to Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom! Let's watch as the homosexual of the species commence their mating ritual. First we have the Smythi Sebastieous, dressed in a British tan $2000 Burberry overcoat…"

"Really?" asked Sam. "My car isn't worth that much."

Nick nodded, continuing. "Notice how he stands directly adjacent to several hired car drivers with name signs, yet does not detect the obviously homosexual chauffeur who is inspecting Sebastieous' gluteus maximus. We can only conclude that the Sebastieous pays no heed because of his laser focus on the arrival of his curly haired potential mate."

Sam snorted with laughter and joined in. "Wait, what do we have here? Is the Sebastieous reaching into his messenger bag for the comic books he promised to bring the Evanseum Samueli? No! He is taking out a large brochure of some kind…"

"And, is that a sharpie marker?" Nick fell out of character in puzzlement.

Sam was on a roll with his impression. "What is he writing on the blank back of the brochure in large letters? Let's see what the Sebastieous has in store…"

They craned their necks. "Of course," Nick said chuckling and shaking his head. "It says 'Scottish Sex on a Stick.'"

Sebastian kept the sign out of public sight until they all saw Blaine descending on the escalator, looking worn out and small in the Dalton Lacrosse hoodie, with dark circles under his eyes and disordered hair that had been disheveled during his nap on the plane.

The moment he spotted him, Sebastian held up the sign, glowing with excitement, a genuine smile spreading over his face.

Blaine was looking through the crowd for any of his three friends, and he was about halfway down the tall, crowded escalator when he caught sight of Sebastian amongst the chauffeurs.

"Look at him, he's lighting up like a Christmas tree!" Sam said, smiling broadly. "I think he read the sign. He's blushing and it's stopping at his cheekbones! Cooper was so right!"

Nick was grinning. "Man, look at 'Bastian. I swear I have never, ever seen a smile that big on his face. Not even when we won sectionals senior year."

"Before we busted you," Sam laughed.

"Before you busted us," Nick rolled his eyes. "But hey, remember Seb told Hunter he wouldn't perform if he had to take anything and Hunter blackmailed almost all of the rest of us!"

"Yeah, right!" Sam teased.

Nick hit Sam's shoulder, then pointed their attention back to Sebastian and Blaine. "Aw, look at them!"

Sam pulled out his camera phone. "Now let me collect a little evidence to show Blaine the next time he says that he's not crushing on Seb…"

Blaine reached the bottom of the escalator and headed straight into Sebastian's arms. "SEB!" They hugged tightly.

"Hey you," Sebastian murmured fondly into his ear. After a full minute, Sebastian pulled back, arms still around Blaine's waist, to have a look at him. "Welcome back, Killer."

"I look like a mess," Blaine said, patting down his hair.

Sebastian shook his head. "Flawless."

Their eyes locked and Sebastian tensed up with self restraint as he remembered all at once how torturous being with Blaine was when he wanted to kiss him. Blaine suddenly realized that he was staring at Sebastian's face, which had suddenly become unreadable. Blushing, he leaned his head down against Sebastian's chest. They both relaxed and Blaine let out a genuine sigh of contentment. "I'm so glad to be right here. You have no idea how happy I am right now."

"I have some idea." Sebastian smiled. He pulled Blaine even closer, completely enveloping him in his strong arms and broad chest, his mind wandering into a daydream in the middle of the crowded airport. After a few moments he remembered where he was and looked more keenly through the crowd. When he didn't see Nick or Sam, he rested his chin on the top Blaine's head and allowed himself to close his eyes and breathe in the scent that was distinctively Blaine.

Blaine was radiating with happiness….when suddenly he felt Sebastian move him aside forcefully.

Sebastian lunged towards a cement pillar. "EVANS! DUVALL! You two are SO dead!"

"RUN! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Sam yelled, crashing into an old lady as they made a run for it. Nick followed, laughing breathlessly. They headed for the baggage carousels, Sam's backpack thumping against him and Nick's scarf flailing behind them. Their hearts raced as they heard the pounding of Sebastian's long legs, gaining on them.

Blaine started laughing so hard that tears came to his eyes. He still had no idea where Nick and Sam had come from or why Sebastian was chasing them, but he didn't care. Sebastian looked like a very well dressed detective chasing after his suspects, and Sam and Nick were dodging passengers, leaping over luggage carts, and pushing past rolling suitcases right and left.

It was so good to be home.

* * *

Blaine sat on a chair drawn up to the most coveted table at the Lima Bean, the one situated opposite the most comfortable sofa. He was tapping out replies to a few emails on his Ipad.

Sebastian approached the table with a contented look on his face. "For his success in securing a prized table, a medium drip for the handsome Royal Conservatory student in the Brooks Brothers cardigan." He gave Blaine a charming smile, placing their coffees on the table and sliding himself onto the couch.

"Thank you kind sir," Blaine looked up and smiled back at him. "Oh man, I've missed these. The coffee on campus at the RC is awful. I am going to bring a ton of coffee beans, a grinder and a coffeemaker back to school with me. I think bad coffee could explain 80% of my struggles last quarter."

"Quite possibly." Sebastian said, propping his feet up on a side chair. "I feel your pain. Stanford's coffee barely passes muster, and that is only because my taste buds had been dulled by the Lima Bean after I left Paris."

"You're such a snob."

Sebastian laughed. "You just said you are going to grind your own coffee beans come the New Year."

"That's not being snobby, that's being desperate."

Sebastian chuckled. "Okay, okay." He took a sip of his coffee and changed the subject. "So I thought your dad was looking at me last night at dinner like he thought I might deflower his son." He looked amused. "And that he would bury me alive if I did."

Blaine shook his head. "No, that's his natural countenance. Seriously. But he can be scary. Kurt used to only come over for dinner if he knew my dad was travelling on business."

Sebastian's stomach twisted at the mention of Kurt, but he shook it off. "Not scary, just a challenge. I'm sure I'll win him over, parents love me."

In spite of his confident words, Blaine saw a look of trepidation flash in Sebastian's eyes. He stood up, nudging Sebastian over so he could join him on the couch. He teased, "Of course all parents love you - because of your humility."

"Exactly," Sebastian said with a cheeky grin.

Blaine snuggled up against Sebastian, who put his arm around him. He looked up at Sebastian, his hazel eyes like stars. "I'm so happy…two whole weeks at home! There's so much I want to do. And everyone's home! Oh, don't forget, you're dropping me with Tina for lunch today, and then tonight, do you want to go with me to the Tavern? Artie said a bunch of the crowd is going to check out a band that is playing. Some Dayton blues band."

He added nervously, "I know you don't know the New Directions crowd that well, but I think you would like them if you spent some time with them. And Sam will be there…and I confirmed Kurt isn't coming." Sebastian looked slightly perturbed at the mention of Kurt, but gave him a slight nod. Blaine continued hopefully, "And Santana will be there, so you won't be too bored."

"Okay, okay," Sebastian said patiently.

Blaine, encouraged again, continued breathlessly. "But that's not until tonight. Between lunch and the Tavern, what do you want to do?" He waited for a moment, then continued eagerly. "We can go to the lake," he said shyly. "Or do some shopping, or see what some of the Warblers are up to, I think Jeff got back last night. Or we could bake some Christmas cookies, I like doing that for the neighbors every year and Sam's brother and sister loved helping last year. Or make a gingerbread house! I haven't made one in years! "

Sebastian loved it when Blaine turned into a kid before his eyes. He smiled indulgently down at him. "B, just promise me you're not going to overschedule us every single day. Rob can tell you that while you might think you're getting a handsome and charming houseguest, what you are really getting is a dead body that you will not be able to move, no matter how many times you poke it with a stick in the morning."

Blaine snorted, "'Handsome and charming houseguest!' You are the vainest creature I ever met." He patted Sebastian's leg. "Don't worry Prince Charming, I'll leave us lots of time to relax."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "You'd better. I need to recover from last quarter if I'm going improve on it next quarter. The first game of the season for lacrosse is the end of January and I expect to be up to my ears in some sort of advanced Physics for engineering…because all that high school AP Physics bullshit was not enough." He sipped his coffee. "And you're just as vain as I am. You know you're handsome, you just pretend to be humble about it."

Blaine grinned. "Oh, shut up…" He stopped, staring across the room.

Sebastian followed his gaze to see Kurt Hummel standing in line, picking lint out of his scarf. He took a deep breath.

Blaine took one, too. "Well, I'd better go over there and say hi." He sounded tentative.

Sebastian looked down at him, narrowing his eyes. "Didn't you tell Sam you weren't going to talk to Hummel for awhile?"

"Right. For awhile," Blaine said absently, not taking his eyes off of Kurt. "But we never specified how long 'awhile' would be. Plus, it would be awkward to see each other and not at least say hi, right?" He got up, leaving his coffee and IPad on the table and his overcoat on his chair. "Watch my stuff, kay?" he said with determination, again not looking at all at the now annoyed Sebastian.

Sebastian watched Blaine as he walked with purpose across the room. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

"Kurt." Blaine tapped his shoulder.

Kurt turned around. "Blaine!"

There was an awkward moment until they both laughed. Kurt asked, "Do we hug?"

Blaine laughed nervously. "Uh, yeah! Sure! We can hug."

Sebastian watched them hug quickly and awkwardly. He uncrossed his arms and pulled out his phone to distract himself.

_SEBASTIAN: Idiots, party of 2 – right this way._

_SANTANA: Stop talking in code, Nerd. What's up?_

_SEBASTIAN: Kurt and Blaine reunion in the Lima Bean. I 'ship them so hard!_

_SANTANA: I'll be right over with a big white handkerchief._

_SEBASTIAN: Don't bother. Fangirl tears would be wasted on this little tableau. I'm more disgusted than anything else._

_SANTANA: I believe that as much as I believe you aren't an ass man._

Blaine asked slowly, "So how are you doing?"

"Pretty good…" Kurt answered tentatively. "I guess. You?"

"Pretty good…I guess." Blaine laughed weakly.

"Has Scotland been amazing?" Kurt eyes darted over Blaine's shoulder, then back at him again.

"Yes and no…" Blaine trailed off. He looked into Kurt's blue eyes searchingly. "Kurt, this is kind of silly. Maybe we can just sit down and catch up?"

"Aren't you with Sebastian?" Kurt asked, nodding in Sebastian's direction with a guarded expression on his face.

Blaine followed his eyes and turned around. Sebastian was saluting them, looking smug. Blaine turned back to see Kurt giving Sebastian a frosty glare. He rolled his eyes and wondered when Kurt and Sebastian would ever let go of their feud. "Um, yeah," he said, "I meant maybe we can sit down and catch up like tomorrow or something?"

Kurt tore his eyes off of Sebastian and his gaze softened. "Yes, I'd like that. I need to firm one thing up about my day tomorrow with my dad, though. I'll text you when I know for sure what time could work."

"Okay." Blaine hesitated. "Well, I'd better…"

Kurt nodded, his face carefully neutral.

Blaine turned and headed back to his table. He sat down next to Sebastian again on the couch and looked up at him.

Sebastian spoke in a carefully even voice, not meeting his eyes in favor of looking around the Lima Bean. "So, how is Kurt?"

"Pretty good," Blaine said tentatively. "It was weird, but we thought we should just catch up more over coffee tomorrow."

Sebastian felt a knot form in his chest. "Sounds fascinating." He got up. "I'm going for a refill. And then let's get out of here – ideally we can pick up my gift for your parents before your lunch with Tina. You can drive to your lunch, I won't need the car. Think I will hang out at your house this afternoon, maybe take a nap."

Blaine studied Sebastian's stony profile as he stood in the long coffee line, then thought about Kurt's icy glare. Over the Lima Bean speakers Dean Martin was singing:

 _It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas_  
_Soon the bells will start_  
_And the thing that will make them ring_  
_Is the carol that you sing  
_ _Right within your heart, right within your heart._

* * *

Our Thanksgiving chapter in time for Thanksgiving! Hope you guys enjoyed it, I was a bit indulgent with their Thanksgiving accounts - as you can see they didn't turn out to be terribly plot driven, just wanted to check in to see where they landed at the end off the quarter. And Sebastian was just so exhausted, I wanted to take care of him - even just for a weekend.

Also I gotta say I really cracked myself up with the baggage claim scene. Hope you laughed, too!

Please let me know, your reviews keep me motivated...this is a long haul but hopefully you are enjoying it as much as we are! Many thanks to my beta readers, Thomas and Dori!


	6. Jealousy and Rough Housing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian is hitting the scotch again (I swear I'm not going to make him an alcoholic). Auntie 'Tana to the rescue, with the help of a cutie played by Chace Crawford. The Klaine coffee ('nuff said). A blink-and-you-miss it Nick appearance. Some Seblaine feels. Cooper's back! Sam and Seb's budding bromance continues (Sebam?) and Seb gets a significant text.

Welcome back to Seblaine, Home for the Holidays! Thanks again to awesome beta readers Thomas and Dori, and to everyone reviewing, commenting, favoriting and leaving kudos. It's very motivating!

Thanks for continuing to share this journey with us. In this chapter, the gorgeous Chace Crawford, of Gossip Girl fame, plays the hunky Tristan. Also, I hope you'll humor me, because (1) Blaine is not singing in the duet, which is kind of criminal, given the song ; and (2) I've been having a lot of Sebtana feels so she's all over this chapter and I love it – hope you do, too.

* * *

At ten o'clock Santana walked into The Tavern and greeted the group of New Directions alumni in the back part of the bar. The blues band wasn't playing too loudly, so the McKinley alums were able to gossip and joke easily around a round of drinks Sebastian had bought them. Nights like tonight proved to Sebastian that it had been worth it to drop a significant amount of cash to obtain a very believable fake ID. Sam and Sebastian sat slightly sat apart from the rest of the group, Sam having a beer and Sebastian drinking an expensive scotch.

When Sam saw Santana approaching, he bade Sebastian a hasty farewell and joined the larger group. He and Santana exchanged nods.

"Smythe," Santana greeted him, sitting down in the chair next to him.

"Lopez," he said, without looking away from the band.

"What, no hug this time?"

Sebastian turned his head to raise an eyebrow at her, but he didn't bother to say anything.

"Yo Twink, how come you didn't call me back or answer my text this afternoon? You just left me high and dry mid-textversation. What happened? Are Blaine and Kurt riding off into the sunset?"

"Not yet," Sebastian said grimly, swigging his scotch.

"What do you mean?"

"They are rendezvousing tomorrow for coffee."

"Well that doesn't necessarily mean anything."

Sebastian spoke slowly, but with anger. "Tana, who are you kidding? They will absolutely ride off into the sunset. They'll ride off on unicorns or ponies or some other Disney creature with rainbow ribbons stuck up their asses and smelling like daisies."

Santana laughed. "Okay, you are hilarious when you're jealous."

Sebastian ignored this and continued, gaining momentum. "You should have seen his face when he saw Hummel. He was starstruck - like Katy Perry had walked into the Lima Bean."

"He's still into Katy Perry?"

Sebastian glared at her and continued bitterly. "He literally couldn't take his eyes off of him, not five minutes after he had been practically sitting in my lap."

"Okay, he was not sitting in your lap in the Lima Bean." Santana said, chuckling.

"Well, practically…he was being the cuddle whore that he is when we're alone together."

At the other table, Sam was complaining to Blaine about Sebastian's grumpiness. Blaine frowned, then leaned away from his table to check on Sebastian. Sebastian raised his eyebrows at him. "What?" he mouthed.

"He's really tired from finals," Blaine explained to Sam. "Do you want to go home?!" he mouthed at Sebastian .

Sebastian shook his head, holding up his unfinished scotch. He also put his arm across the back of Santana's chair and cocked his head towards her. Blaine nodded and smiled tentatively at them. Sebastian didn't smile back and avoided his gaze.

Santana laughed. "Right," she said sarcastically. "You were talking about _that_ evil son of a bitch, right? That's right, that bow-tied demon was being…what was it? A cuddle whore?" She laughed again.

Sebastian ignored her snark and continued to fume. "Yes, he was being a cuddle whore and yes, I was enjoying it. And then Mr. Kate Hummelton walked in and Blaine shot across the room like a fuckin' bullet! I thought Hummel was going to incur an exit wound through his chunky, bizarrely striped sweater."

Santana drawled, "Smythe, you are a piece of work…"

Sebastian interrupted her, still steaming. "He shot across the room…without so much as a backwards glance. That's what gets me the most. Without so much as a single fucking backwards glance." He looked towards Blaine's table and took another sip of his scotch. "I mean ok, fine – go waltzing over to talk to your ex, get back together with him, see what I care, whatever - but show a little fucking respect. At least give me a parting gift – at least fucking _look_ at me to show me you're sorry we're not gonna happen, let me grab your ass , something! I mean, I took care of that ass for MONTHS!" he brought his glass down on the table with more than a little undue force.

Santana raised an eyebrow and turned to Sebastian. "How many drinks have you had, Ace?"

"Four."

"Holy hell." Santana put a hand on his shoulder. "Get a grip, someone will hear you. If he doesn't hear you himself, there are at least 5 gossipy birds over there who would love to tell Blaine how crazy you sound if you keep going with this rant."

Sebastian didn't look like he cared if they did. "He's hopeless, San. He was supposed to take this year off and get his act together. To help him do that, I gave him his freaking space…a continent plus an ocean, in fact. It may as well have been a couple of continents - we couldn't even find time to even friggin' Skype except on the weekends.

"But that's the kind of thing you do when you turn over a new leaf. You help Blaine Anderson get some space to find himself. Well you know what? I'm going back to being a complete and total asshole. Or jackass. Or cartoon villain. Your choice, San. Because being nice doesn't just suck. It fucking blows."

Santana shook her head, still amused, but also slightly concerned. "You're really on a roll tonight."

"I mean, look where it got us. Even Sam did the right thing and got him to stop talking to Hummel. And Sam tried to help him live a little in Scotland so he can start to get on his own two feet without Kurt. But we do all this and what does he do? Takes advantage of the fact that Sam never specified how long 'awhile' would be. He was looking for a fucking technicality. That's right, the INSTANT he gets a chance to meet up with the Ice Bitch again, he does! And I bet he can't wait to jump right back into bed with him again tomorrow. I'd put money down that they'll take their little sugary chocolaty coffee drinks and head right back to that hotel where your glee club teacher almost got married."

Santana had to cut in at that point, laughing. "Whoa whoa whoa! You are getting way ahead of yourself. Seriously Seb - you have got to listen to yourself - you sound bats. Walking quickly across the room and staring - that's all you're basing this rage on? What did you want him to do? Ignore him? He hadn't talked to Kurt or seen him for three months. They were together – more or less – for three years. They were engaged. He probably didn't know what to say - of course he stared and couldn't focus on much else. Cut him some slack, you raving maniac."

Sebastian grumbled unintelligibly.

"Now listen to Auntie 'Tana. None of what you've just said necessarily means that he will get back together with Kurt."

"Well none of it necessarily means he _won't_ get back with Kurt," Sebastian groused.

"True," Santana replied. "And unless you can tell me more about those emails and Skype calls you two have been exchanging this past fall, it sounds like it could go either way. And you are going to have to come to terms with that."

She paused and said bluntly, "You know you really _will_ live if Blaine ends up with Kurt. There are a lot of other hot guys around." She looked around the room. "Like that one," she said, pointing. "He is way too well groomed and dressed to be a straight waiter. You and Blaine aren't even a couple. Have some fun! Flirt with the hot waiter! Make Blaine jealous!"

She laughed at her own idea, then followed the train of thought. "Yeah! Why do you have to be the jealous one? Make Blaine jealous! Where the hell is the competitive Seb who won't let me win a single game of tennis and has to be the top score in every game on my phone? You really not up for going mano a mano with Kurt Hummel?"

Sebastian didn't turn to look at her. She could tell he was still stewing. He sipped his scotch. "Santana, don't fucking patronize me."

Santana was about to respond when the good-looking waiter she had pointed out earlier came up to their table. His voice was velvety and calm as he addressed Santana. "Hello, I'm Tristan. What can I get for you?"

[ ](http://imgur.com/Sdqhcmp)

Sebastian glanced up and Santana caught him giving the waiter a blink-and-you-miss-it onceover. She was gratified that Tristan was even hotter close up than he was from across the room. Sebastian said, "Put whatever she wants on my tab…the other waiter who was here before has it."

"No problem. He had to take off, but I have your tab now. I told him that I could… cover you." The look he gave Sebastian was discreet but could definitely be interpreted as suggestive.

An unreadable look flickered across Sebastian's face as he downed the rest of his scotch and raised his empty glass. "Then can you take care of me here?"

"Absolutely," the Tristan answered smoothly, taking the glass from him. Santana watched as Tristan made sure their fingertips brushed slightly.

Santana turned to the Tristan. "I'll have a dirty martini, but then please close out the bill for my borderline alcoholic friend here."

Tristan looked to Sebastian, who shrugged and nodded. As Tristan walked away, Santana watched Sebastian's bleary eyes following the retreating figure. "He was totally into you, Slick," she said. "The touch of the fingertips when he took your glass – that's ballsy – it takes finesse. _But_ don't go Halloween on me, no more drinking tonight – you'll mortify Blaine and win you no other fans."

The lead singer of the blues band crooned the encore. As the applause died down Tristan stepped on the stage briefly to say, "Karaoke's up next, don't go away."

Santana reached out and ruffled Sebastian's hair. "Karaoke, that's more like it. The blues are too depressing for you tonight, Smythe. Duet with me. I want to see what that fancy school and all that alcohol has done to your pipes."

Sebastian batted her hand away and groaned, "Not tonight."

"No MJ, none of us have energy for that," she promised. "But you can show Blaine you're not pining away while he makes up his mind…and that you can still have some fun. Come on, fake it 'til you make it. Just a little 'Dress and Tie…easy does it. And we'd better get up there before Blaine sings something that makes you think it's about Kurt.'"

Sebastian took a deep breath and looked over at Blaine. He didn't answer her.

Tristan was back with Santana's martini and the bill. He was obviously coming off his shift, having shed his nametag and the button-down shirt he wore over his black designer t-shirt. "Thank you very much," he said, laying the check folder down. He started to step away to give them time and space to inspect the bill.

"Hold up, we're paying cash and might want to leave soon," Sebastian said, reaching for his wallet.

Tristan stepped back over to the table. As Sebastian opened his wallet for the correct bills, Tristan asked, "You two from out of town?"

"Sort of," Santana answered. "Home for the holidays."

Sebastian gave a sideways glance to Santana's Mona Lisa smile. He looked directly at Tristan with a challenging look. "I'm in college in California and she lives in New York City."

Tristan met his eyes with a steady gaze, asking with casual cool, "Where in California? I graduated this past June from Cal Arts in LA. I'm home for the holidays, too. My parents own this place."

"I'm at Stanford." Sebastian said, looking back down at his wallet and pulling out two hundred dollar bills.

The group of New Directions alumni to their left laughed boisterously. Mercedes could be heard saying, "But remember when Kurt and Blaine sang Love Shack at Breadstix? That was way more…"

Sebastian extended his hand. "Sebastian Smythe."

"Tristan Rodanthe." Tristan shook his hand and gave him a subtly sexy smile.

"I'm Santana Lopez," she shook hands with a smirk. "So Tristan, do you want to join us?"

[ ](http://imgur.com/7Lp7Ej1)

Tristan sat down.

A few minutes later, Blaine leaned away from his group to check on Sebastian. He stared in surprise at the trio at the other table for a full minute until Tina noticed he wasn't moving or talking. She poked Sam, gesturing at Blaine. They followed his gaze and then looked at each other. "Uh-oh," Tina said softly.

Mercedes happened to hear her and looked to see what she was looking at. "Ooooh my! Who is the hottie with Santana and Sebastian?" Most of the rest of the table heard and turned to look as well. Blaine protested, "Hey, you guys, stop it! Turn back around!"

Artie teased Blaine, "Why? You don't want him looking over here? Don't want him to see you staring at him?"

The entire group was now staring, some more conspicuously than others.

"I wasn't staring at him," Blaine said defensively. "I was just wondering where he came from. And I was just saying that so you guys wouldn't embarrass Santana and Sebastian."

Quinn said, "Uh Blaine, I don't think that guy even knows Santana is at the table. "

Everyone looked more closely and saw Quinn was right, Tristan's focus was obviously on Sebastian, who was chuckling as he explained something. Tristan laughed lazily, lightly grazing Sebastian's arm as he picked up his drink. Blaine flinched.

"Sebastian's looking particularly good tonight, Blaine!" Quinn teased. "And we hear you two got pretty flirty on your trip to San Francisco…why aren't you over there making sure that hottie doesn't take your man?"

"He's not my man," Blaine said irritably. He gave Sam a dirty look and said in an undertone, "You are the biggest gossip!"

Mike said supportively, "Blaine doesn't have a man, he isn't going to date anyone for awhile."

"Who said anything about date?" Quinn said with a mischievous look in her eye. The table hooted.

They were interrupted by the announcement of karaoke. Santana dragged Sebastian up to the stage. They sat on two side-by-side stools and Santana handed a reluctant Sebastian a microphone. She said into her own:

"Hello, everyone. My friend Sebastian and I are home for the holidays and wanted to sing a little duet for you all. This one is for all of you out there who don't want to be lonely anymore …

Santana sang with her performance smile, trying to cheer Sebastian up :

_[with this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXUyooZxfnw)_

_[Santana]_

_every night i walked the streets_  
never dreaming what could happen  
sad and so lonely  
i saw in the mirror my reflection  
staring back at me  
i thought, will i ever find what i need?

but i'll wear that dress if you wear the tie  
and baby we'll dance through the night  
cuz no one's got what we've got going  
happiness never held on to me  
until you had me see  
that together we're just better off

Sebastian sang seriously, almost wistfully at first: _  
_

_[Sebastian]_

_oh my heart's been tried_  
time and again  
always thought that it was me but  
i see now just how wrong i was  
no, i haven't known you for a lifetime  
but somehow i've never been more sure that you're for me  
baby please  
don't leave, just come and dance with me tonight

Blaine looked like small thundercloud. He was pretty sure he could see Sebastian making eye contact with Tristan as he sang "just come and dance with me tonight." He definitely could see that Tristan only had eyes for Sebastian - he didn't see him glance at Santana once.

Sebastian was gaining momentum and finding the joy in the music and the duet with his friend:

 _[Both]_  
but i'll wear that dress if you wear the tie  
and baby we'll dance through the night  
cuz no one's got what we've got going  
happiness never held on to me  
until you had me see  
that together we're just better off

To Blaine's surprise, Sebastian locked eyes with him as he sang:

 _[Sebastian]_  
don't be cruel to me  
oh, i've wanted more  
and i've been wrong before

 _[Santana]_  
so much learning to lose  
but you're not a day too soon

 _[Both]_  
_so say you feel the same and  
_ _we'll never be lonely anymore_

The bar erupted in applause. Santana and Sebastian got up, smiling and acknowledging the audience, even stopping to pose for Mike's IPhone camera:

_[ ](http://imgur.com/OJ6neJb) _

Tristan headed to the stage, passing them on their way to their seats. He touched Sebastian on the shoulder and held his arm while he whispered something in Sebastian's ear that made him laugh.

Blaine looked in his lap and Tina held his hand.

Tristan picked up the microphone with ease. "Hello everyone, I'm Tristan. It's good to see some new faces here tonight, along with our regulars. This one speaks for itself."

He sang a [One Republic song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVlsWzaKuaMl) with surprising soul and unsurprising sensuality:

 _I was riding thinking with my long hand_  
_Put dream to paper everything was sinking_  
_Then start to wonder how you're gonna handle me  
_ _When I'm under, swimming in the darkest sea_

 

Everybody wants to make it, it's all yours

 _Everybody wants to take it, it's all yours_  
_Everybody wants to make it, it's all yours_  
_Everybody wants to take it, t-t-take it_

 

Can you feel all the love?

 _Can you feel all the love?_  
_You feel all the love_  
_Can you feel all the love like it was made for you?_  
_Like it was made for you_  
_Like it was made for you_  
_It was made for you_

Tristan was obviously singing the song to Sebastian. Blaine turned most of his attention to Sebastian's reaction. If Sebastian felt Blaine's eyes upon him, he didn't show it. He looked more relaxed than he had been all evening, his body swaying a bit to the song's steady beat. He watched Tristan attentively, but he glanced away from time to time when Tristan's gaze grew slightly too intense. But he didn't look offended by Tristan's seductive looks. He looked flattered – that is, as flattered as Sebastian Smythe could look. He glanced down when Tristan's gaze lasted a moment too long, and wore a cool, very slight smile that Blaine rarely saw. At one point Sebastian leaned over to whisper something in Santana's ear. Santana nodded and whispered something back, pointing at something on stage. Sebastian's laugh rang out so heartily that even Blaine could hear it from where he sat.

Tina and Sam watched Blaine with worried eyes. "It's going to be an interesting couple of weeks," Sam said.

As the applause for Tina's version of "Trip the Light" died down, Blaine walked stiffly to Sebastian's table and tapped his arm. "Hey Seb, it's time to go."

Sebastian was laughing at something someone had said, but he twisted around to smile at Blaine. The smile vanished however, when he saw Blaine's troubled face. Sebastian put his arm behind Blaine and placed a hand at the small of his back. He asked in an undertone, "You tired, Killer?" The small gesture did much to soothe Blaine's perturbed spirit. He nodded at Sebastian.

"Let's go then. But first, Blaine, this is Tristan Rodanthe. His parents own The Tavern. They have family in Paris, too, if you can believe it. Tristan, this is the one and only Blaine Anderson ."

Tristan stood up to shake hands, revealing his full height of six feet, making Blaine feel like a complete midget. On top of that, Tristan's hair, jawline, eyes and broad, muscular frame were even better looking up close. Blaine felt queasy, but was politely gracious, smiling as he shook Tristan's hand. "Hi. You sounded great tonight."

"So did you," Tristan answered with a genuine smile. "Sebastian says you're going to be a Broadway actor, that's great. You definitely have the talent."

Sebastian smiled. "That he does. And Blaine, Tristan just graduated Cal Arts. He considers himself an actor first, then a singer…if you can believe it. I've been trying to convince him to give singing a full effort along with the acting."

Tristan smirked and gave Sebastian an indiscernible look before he turned to Blaine. "I think he's crazy, but who knows…maybe going at two things at once isn't the worst idea in the world."

Santana stood up, her eyes darting between the three guys. "Well I'm ready to head home. Anyone over there need a ride?" she asked Blaine, gesturing towards the rest of the McKinley alumni.

"No," Blaine answered, still looking at Tristan and Sebastian and swallowing thickly.

Sebastian was smiling as he got up. "Well, we'll see you, Tristan," he said, patting him on the back. "Good to meet you."

Tristan smiled into Sebastian's eyes, then said warmly to the group, "The pleasure was all mine." His gaze landed again on Sebastian meaningfully. "Have a great holiday, everyone – you know where to find me if you want to…hang out again."

Sebastian, Santana and Blaine said their farewells to their McKinley friends and headed to the parking lot. When they reached her car, Sebastian said to Santana, with a terrible accent and a cheeky grin, "Buenas Noche."

"Smythe, if I ever catch your privileged white ass attempting Spanish ever again, I'll have your hide," she warned, wagging a long fingernail.

Sebastian chuckled, "I love making you look like that."

She smacked him in the chest and Blaine laughed appreciatively.

"Good night, boys," she said, opening her car door and climbing in.

Sebastian leaned in before she could close her door. He gave her a swift kiss on the cheek and said in a low voice in her ear, "Thanks, San. Good times tonight."

She pinched his cheek and smiled, pushing him up and away as she put her seatbelt on. "Anytime, Twink."

"Bitch!"

"Whore!"

She closed the door, started the car, and drove off.

Sebastian turned to Blaine as they walked towards the car. "Now you do realize that Tristan propositioned us?"

Blaine stopped walking and his jaw dropped open. "What?"

Sebastian swaggered ahead of him towards the car, calling out, "For a threesome, Killer."

Blaine felt his blush creep up and down his entire body.

* * *

"Snix, my thank you last night was not an open invitation to turn me into your own personal Sherpa," grumbled Sebastian. He struggled to fit through the door of the Lima Bean with the six shopping bags he was carrying for Santana.

"Oh you owe me, Smythe, not just for last night but for helping Rob, who should be anointed to sainthood by the way, get your sorry ass into the car on Halloween."

"Fine, but I'm done repaying my debt today with the purchase of this mocha. And you have to stand in line for it," he collapsed onto a chair and dumped the bags at his feet. "My feet are killing me. 4 hours of shopping, who does that? I wouldn't have gone for a run this morning if I had known you were going to do this to me. And I would have worn my trainers." He toed off his Ferragamo loafers and flexed his aching feet.

"Cash," Santana snapped her fingers at him. He pitched his wallet at her. "And don't worry, I won't drink it here, 'cause I know we don't want to run into…"

Sebastian waved her off. "Yes, yes. So hurry the hell up." She headed off quickly. Sebastian tried not to think about the Blaine and Kurt coffee, but now that Santana had brought it up, it seemed like obsessing about it was all he could do.

There was a tap on his shoulder. "Sebastian!" He turned around to see an anxious looking Nick.

"Greetings, Duvall. Why do you look like someone stole your trust fund?"

"Are you still with Santana?"

"Yes…how did you know I'm with Santana?"

Nick ignored the question. "Doesn't she have her phone?"

"Yes…though it's out of battery…why?" Sebastian's brow furrowed. "What are you up to, Nick? It's like you've been watching too many detective shows – first that stunt at the airport, now you're messing with Santana? You don't want to go there, trust me. She makes me look like a flyweight. She could eat you on a pizza and wash you down with her diet coke."

"You guys have to get out of here," Nick floundered somewhat desperately.

"Duvall, you'd better tell me what's going on…" Sebastian threatened.

Santana returned, looking surprised to see Nick. "Hey Nick," she said, too casually.

Sebastian set his mouth in a straight line and glared at her. "Snix, you're slipping. So you're in on this too? Fess up."

Santana relented. "Ok, fine. Your Warbler buddies heard from Sam or someone that Blaine and Kurt are meeting up today. They are all worried about what's going down and they don't think that Kurt or Blaine will necessarily share the full details on what happens. I happen to agree with them. So they were going to listen in on the full details two hours from now, or at least that is when Kurt and Blaine were _supposed_ to be here." She looked at Nick questioningly.

Nick looked frustrated. "They moved it, Sam found out from Blaine and said he texted you, but I guess your phone is out of battery?"

"It's not out of battery…" Santana argued.

"Yeah it is," Sebastian said gruffly. "You were so long in that one dressing room that I accidentally ran it out playing a couple of your games."

"Smythe!"

"Really?" Sebastian shot back. "You are going to scold me about your phone battery when both of you…" he trailed off when he noticed Jeff's towhead out of the corner of his eye. He looked with aggravation around the coffee shop as he spotted Jeff, Meatbox, Thad, and Trent and commanded them to each stand up guiltily in their different corners of the room. "Shit…when ALL of you losers decided to meddle in my business?!"

Nick tried to explain. "Seb we just wanted to be able to help you, in case there was gray area..."

"For the LAST goddamn time, Duvall – stay the fuck out of my business!" Sebastian turned to leave, but realized his shoes were still buried amongst Santana's shopping bags. "Damn it!" He started furiously digging them out.

Nick looked injured and guilty. Santana looked at him and then at Sebastian. "Friends get in their friends' business, Smythe. If you had more friends, my snobby little pal, you'd know. Now look, you can either…Shit!" she said in an urgent whisper. "They're here."

Blaine and Kurt were pushing through the door. Jeff, Meatbox, Thad and Trent instantly dropped back down to their seats. Nick bolted to his designated location. Santana turned her back to Kurt and Blaine, pulling her scarf over her hair and yanking the hood of Sebastian's jacket over his head.

"For fuck's sake, Santana!" Sebastian hissed.

Kurt and Blaine walked by, too engrossed in their conversation to notice the tall hooded guy shoving shopping bags around on the floor.

Santana sat down next to Sebastian, who stopped rifling through the bags and sat up. He couldn't stop himself from looking at Kurt and Blaine standing in line. It was like watching a train wreck. He couldn't look away even if he wanted to.

"This is pathetic," Sebastian fumed to Santana. "Humiliating, in fact. If they spot me, I'm the one who is going to look like I am spying on them – ME, not any of you morons. Which is why I will then light each and every single one of you on fire. In your sleep. Using lighter fluid."

Santana retorted, "Before you knew those guys were staking this place out, you were willing to take your chances with me in here so I could get a mocha. We just got unlucky."

"'Staking this place out.' You people need hobbies," complained Sebastian.

"Those guys have love for you, Seb. And you should be less of an asshole to Nick."

Sebastian just grunted.

"Well the good news is they aren't holding hands, right?" Santana reasoned.

"Can you just…not…" Sebastian covered her mouth with his hand.

She pushed his hand away and they watched in silence.

Blaine and Kurt talked as they moved up in line. "BORING," Santana said, "See? They aren't making out or anything!"

"YET." Sebastian said darkly. "And I said be quiet." He clapped his hand back over her mouth. She wiggled away.

Kurt and Blaine paid for their coffees and stepped to the side to wait for their order. They faced each other, talking earnestly.

Blaine reached over and straightened out Kurt's coat lapel.

Seb got up, not caring who saw him.

"Seb! Sit down!"

"I'm not gonna watch this." He grabbed her purse and rummaged in it, finding her keys. "Call me later, you can get those Warbler idiots to be your slaves and drive you to wherever I decide to go."

Santana protested, but Sebastian stalked out. Blaine thought he noticed a hooded, tall figure in the corner of his eye, but by the time he focused over Kurt's shoulder, he was gone.

* * *

Sebastian entered the Anderson house with the spare key and started heading upstairs for the shower.

Blaine came out from the kitchen. "Seb, I thought I heard you."

Sebastian looked down from the dark wooden staircase and paused, still warm from his workout and gripping the glossy banister too tightly. Blaine looked far too content. This could not be good.

"Santana called, saying your cell was off. She said to just drop her car off at her house. I can go with you anytime before 5:30, when Sam and Tina come over to make cookies. We have nothing planned this afternoon except to hang out with Coop, he gets in this afternoon sometime. See, I didn't overschedule us today!" He smiled.

Sebastian's gaze was calm but he didn't smile in return. "Ok, let me take a shower."

"Where were you? I thought you and Santana were going to shop today?

"We did. Then I went to the fencing studio."

"Oh, no wonder you look tired. And man, I wish you had waited for me…the studio in Edinburgh was so expensive, I only went once. Plus it's always so much more fun with you," he smiled engagingly.

 _Don't fucking flirt with me when you're getting back together with your ex._ Sebastian didn't reply. He turned and slowly ascended the stairs.

In about twenty minutes, Blaine came upstairs looking for Sebastian. He knocked on the guest room door before popping his head in.

Sebastian turned from the dresser, wearing only a low-slung white towel, his hair in wet disarray. Blaine swallowed thickly, eyes wide. "Oh, sorry – I'll come back."

"It's okay," Sebastian said, taking a deep breath. "I'll just be a minute." He grabbed his clothes and ducked in the bathroom.

Blaine came in, still blinking at the image of dripping, towel-clad Sebastian now etched in his memory. He sat down on the bed and shook himself.

Sebastian stared in the mirror and composed himself. He called in as natural of a voice as he could. "So how is Kurt?"

"Pretty good." Blaine said.

Sebastian didn't respond.

Blaine took his knees up to his chest. "You know, it was really bizarre. In a good way, I think – but bizarre. I mean, in Scotland I had wondered what I would do if we ran into each other, and I had been contemplating calling him anyway. We knew we'd both be home for the holidays so I thought it would be weird if we didn't at least acknowledge each other - we have so many of the same friends and everything."

Sebastian gripped the pedestal sink with both hands and listened intently.

"Seb, can you hear me?"

Sebastian forced himself to speak evenly. "Yes."

"Oh, okay. Let me know if you need any hair gel or anything." He picked at the bedspread and continued. "Anyway, so last night before bed I kept wondering, 'Why I have been thinking about Kurt less and less lately?' Is it because I'm getting over him and ready to move on? Or because he has just been 'out of sight, out of mind' for so long that I've just been better able to push away thoughts of him? When I spent time with him again, would all the heartache come rushing back and I would have to go back to square one?"

Sebastian didn't mind and often enjoyed listening to Blaine's thought process, but today he wished he would get to the point. FAST.

"And if the latter were to be the case, would that mean I would never get used to not being in love with him?"

Sebastian _needed_ him to get to the point. "So which was it today?"

"I think the former." Blaine sounded surprised. "I was surprised, and I think… relieved? I mean it was nice to hear about his life in New York, but I kept thinking about how distant he felt. Not that he was acting distant, but just that I don't feel intimately close to him anymore. I mean I still have love for him - I don't think will ever go away – but it didn't feel the same. I just wasn't as engaged with every detail, I wasn't wrapped up him as much. And weirdly, I didn't mind. It was kind of a relief to know. Kind of oddly peaceful, almost natural? Definitely not as awkward as I thought it would be. It makes me think we might be able to be friends one day, which makes me really happy."

Sebastian let out a big breath. He realized that he hadn't really been breathing well all day. He exhaled again, and while still in a bit of shock, got dressed.

"Ironically, the most awkward part was that we acknowledged that it was still awkward between us. So we decided that we not talk again until at least the summer. Give it a full year."

Sebastian wondered what he had done to deserve all this.

"Seb?"

Sebastian ran a quick comb through his wet hair, not bothering with product for the time being. "I'm listening," He came out of the bathroom, finally prepared to support Blaine again. "So how did Kurt seem with all this?" He sat down next to him on the bed.

"Really okay. I think we're kind of on the same page, which is great." Blaine answered. "He and I process stuff in the same way a lot of the time, and we were able to actually talk about what I just said." He looked thoughtful. "And at least from the outside, he seems a heck of a lot happier than I was in Scotland. He's started a band, has a fun job with Santana and Rachel at a diner…"

"I heard." Sebastian said. "Well he's been there a year already, and you guys aren't the exact same person….Thank god." He smirked.

Blaine batted him. "Be nice."

They sat in comfortable silence, still thinking about what had transpired.

"Seb?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for listening to me all this time, about Kurt: after our first break-up, after the wedding, now. I know he's not your favorite person."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and shrugged. " But he's one of your favorite people, so what am I gonna do? It's part of the Blaine Anderson package ." He paused, still processing it all. "So are you okay with not talking to him for another six months? You're really okay with all of it?"

"I think so. I kind of feel guilty for being okay with it, though. Is that stupid?"

Sebastian put his arm around him. " No, it's just very you – which is not stupid . But it's okay to be getting over your heartbreak. It doesn't mean your relationship never meant anything or whatever."

Blaine chuckled. "'Or whatever'? How profound of you, Dr. Smythe. I will send you payment immediately for your psychiatric services."

Sebastian pretended to look injured. "I'm hurt! Not 30 seconds ago you were praising me for listening to you. Now you 're insulting my methods?"

"You're an excellent listener," Blaine said laughing. "You give pretty good advice. But drawing therapeutic conclusions? Not so much."

"Okay, let me talk to that new Scottish therapist of yours. She is polluting your mind!" He goosed Blaine in the ribs.

Blaine yelped and scooted up the bed and away from him. "Stop it! Now no good therapist would do that!" He grabbed a pillow and beat Sebastian with it.

Sebastian wrestled the pillow from his hands and threw it on the floor. "Would your therapist do this?!" He tackled him, then started tickle him. They wrestled on the bed, Blaine surprising Sebastian with his strength .

"Damn, Anderson!"

"I may be little, but I'm wiry!"

"Feisty, is what you are!"

Tears came to their eyes as they tickled and laughed until they were gasping for breath. They wrestled until Sebastian finally had Blaine on his back, hands pinned on either side of his head. They breathed heavily and looked in each other's eyes.

"Say Uncle," Sebastian breathed, their lips inches apart.

"SQUIRT! I'm home!" Cooper hollered from the foot of the stairs. "Come greet your big brother! And what's this I hear about Sebastian staying with us? Are you up there too, fancy Stanford man?!"

Blaine and Sebastian jumped up from the bed, flustered and straightening their clothes, looking everywhere but at each other.

Blaine was the first to recover. "Coop! Yeah we're up here!"

Sebastian and Blaine hurried out to the hallway railing, their cheeks flushed and hair in wild disorder.

Cooper gave them a knowing look and leered, "Was I interrupting something?"

Blaine hurried down the stairs and gave his brother a hug. "No," he gave Cooper a warning look. "We were just…goofing off.

"Hey Coop," Sebastian called too casually, making eye contact for a split second but then quickly avoiding Cooper's searching look. He muttered, "I'm going to finish getting dressed… getting ready." He turned back into the room.

"Blainey…you're BLUSHING again!" Cooper said wickedly.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "We were wrestling, okay? I'm just flushed from…roughhousing." He walked ahead of his brother into the kitchen.

"But how rough was it?" Cooper grinned.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Blaine, Sebastian and Cooper settled down next to the fire to watch "The Muppet Christmas Carol" at Cooper's behest.

After a few minutes, Blaine and Cooper noticed Sebastian's head nodding, then jerking up as he woke himself up and tried to keep his eyes open. Then his head would drop backwards, but as the back of the sofa was too low for his head to rest on, his head jerked back up.

Cooper chuckled from his armchair, "Watching tall guys fall asleep like that is so painful."

Blaine explained with sympathy, "He worked his tail off this quarter, poor thing. He said over Thanksgiving he was sleeping like 16 hours a day to recover just a little. Then last night we were out late, and today he spent like 4 hours shopping with Santana and then did some fencing. I'm surprised he's even alive."

He tapped Sebastian. "Hey Seb, you want to go upstairs?"

Sebastian grumbled and flopped his head backwards again towards the sofa. "Leave me alone, Rob."

Blaine smiled. "I'm not Rob, you idiot. Now go upstairs, you'll be so much more comfortable."

"No," answered Seb, eyes still closed, head still thrown back. "I don't wanna."

"Well at least lay down on the sofa," Blaine said.

"Fine," Sebastian groused, bending himself in half and twisting from the waist to take up half the sofa, feet still on the ground.

Cooper chuckled, "Well _that_ looks comfortable."

Blaine gripped him under the arms, trying to drag his upper body further towards him. "Lie down properly, you goon."

Cooper got up to help move him, "Sebby, scoot your butt up!"

"Stop talking!" moaned Sebastian, half asleep. He complied grumpily however, eyes closed, scooting his torso up the couch and bringing his feet up. For there to be enough room for his long legs, Sebastian flopped his head onto Blaine's legs. Blaine grabbed a small throw pillow and put it on his lap and under Sebastian's head to make him more comfortable. Cooper draped a furry throw on him. Sebastian turned sideways, made a few soft noises, then fell asleep completely.

Blaine stroked Sebastian's soft hair as he watched the movie absentmindedly, spending half the time looking out the window at the snow that was coming down heavily again.

Cooper looked over at the sweet picture his brother and Sebastian made. He didn't have the heart to tease, for once. "Hey, so what's going on with you two?"

"Coop, how many times do I have to tell you…"

Cooper interrupted him with his most reasonable tone. "That you're just friends? How many of your friends do you hold in your lap and pet? Are you honestly going to tell me you don't feel, or have never felt, _at all_ romantic about him?"

Blaine's hand stopped and he looked abashed. Sebastian breathed heavily in his lap. "Ok fine, I have had some romantic thoughts about him. I mean it's Sebastian…he's dashing and so good to me and hilarious and smart…of course I have thought about it before. But he's my best friend, Coop. I don't want to jeopardize what we have if he doesn't feel the same way about me. And I just don't know where he stands."

Blaine looked down with puzzlement at Sebastian's handsome face. "He writes these huge letters to me, but never says "I miss you" or anything remotely romantic in them. And you should have seen him last night, we all went out to a bar and there was this incredibly hot waiter flirting with him, and he was loving it."

"Was he flirting back?"

"Not blatantly…but in a bar Sebastian flirts almost by existing. I saw it at Scandals, when we were in San Francisco, last night...he's in his element. He kind of exudes a flirtatious energy once he gets going. It's fun for him…it doesn't mean anything. Anyway, he mainly looked flattered. I don't blame him, anyone would be flattered by a guy that hot flirting with them.

Blaine looked wistful. "But it just reminded me of how much…fun Sebastian must have without me. I mean it sounds like he had a wild night out on Halloween, he goes to all kinds of different parties all the time at school to blow off steam. I feel like all I ever do is complain to him about my life, or we talk about school, me not really liking the pub scene, or Sam's latest story or other really mundane things. He's listens to it all so patiently and makes me find the funny sides of it; he manages to take care of me even when even when I'm 5000 miles away. It's almost like he takes care of me like a little pet or something. Stanford is FUN. That guy at the bar last night, he was FUN. I am just…I don't know, a PUPPY." Blaine now looked frustrated.

"It looked like you two were having fun when I got to the house earlier," Cooper said, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh that…we were just playing around…" Blaine furrowed his brow. "I think. There was a moment right before you came in where I thought maybe he was going to kiss me…"

"I KNEW I was interrupting something!"

"I don't know…I could have been making that up in my head. We were laughing so hard, it could have just been that fun energy. I don't know that he thinks of me…that way. I mean you should have seen the waiter guy who was flirting with him last night. That guy was off the charts sexy – tall, muscles, perfect hair, chiseled everything…That's the kind of guy Seb's going to be interested in. The two of them standing next to each other was like, stunning." He sighed. "How can I compete with that? That guy has already graduated college, he was charming and sophisticated…just like Seb."

As if on cue, Sebastian snored. Blaine and Cooper laughed.

"Didn't you say he used to flirt with you all the time when you first met?"

Blaine shrugged. "Yeah, he USED to flirt with me. But he doesn't anymore. I can't remember the last time he's made a suggestive joke or any kind of innuendo - outside of when he was being a jerk on our roadtrip."

"Maybe he's just trying to be more respectful." Cooper suggested.

"Maybe…" Blaine said, watching snowflakes come down outside.

"I'd find out," Cooper said. "Find out, squirt."

"Don't call me that," Blaine said without any expression, playing with Sebastian's hair again.

Cooper studied his brother's face and decided to leave it alone for the time being.

The television sang and Blaine looked from Sebastian's sleeping profile to the fire:

" _It's in the singing of a street corner choir_  
It's going home and getting warm by the fire  
It's true, wherever you find love it feels like Christmas"

* * *

The doorbell rang and Sebastian answered it. It was Tina, Sam, and Sam's siblings.

Tina and Sebastian awkwardly greeted each other, ultimately exchanging air kisses, neither sure where they stood with the other.

"Merry Almost Christmas!" Sam was smiling and went in for a hug.

"Hey Sam," Sebastian hugged him back, saying in his ear, "Don't forget…your time is coming."

Sam looked at him, puzzled.

Sebastian grinned wickedly. "Payback, sir."

Sam groaned.

"What are you two talking about?" Tina asked.

"Oh, Sam gave me a Halloween treat and I was just reminding him that I'll be paying him back. That his time is coming." Sebastian said slyly.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Stacey and Stevie," he presented his brother and sister, "This is Sebastian. I call him Seb for short."

The two children nodded their heads at him politely, making eye contact and looking more than a little intimidated by the tall, imposing figure with the serious face. Sebastian was impressed by their manners, but was a little perplexed as to how to treat them. He was always slightly uncomfortable around children. "Hello," he said seriously, extending his hand. "Pleased to meet you." The children shook his hand politely but didn't say a word.

He led them to the kitchen. "You're just in time, the pizza just came out of the oven and Blaine's putting in the first batch of Christmas cookies."

In the hallway behind them, Sam looked at Tina and laughed. "Yeah, I kind of pranked him on Halloween. But I'm not too worried about old Seb, what could he do to me?"

Tina looked at him like he was crazy. "We're talking about the Slushie Warbler here, Sam. He's got money, brains and access to Blaine. You're so screwed." She walked ahead of him into the kitchen.

Sam stared after her.

In the kitchen, Blaine was adorned with his bright red bowtie, chef's apron and oven mitts. He hailed the newcomers and greeted the children playfully. "I'm so excited you two came! I need lots of help decorating the cookies, okay?"

Mr. and Mrs. Anderson were grabbing slices of pizza and heading up stairs. Tina helped Blaine settle the children at the kitchen table with slices and milk, and lingered to chat with each other.

Sebastian and Sam sat at the large kitchen island and helped themselves to some pizza. "So you get all your shopping done, Sebmeister?" Sam was still experimenting with nicknames for Sebastian and immediately regretted that one.

Sebastian was too serene tonight to care. "Yeah, I don't have a lot of people to buy for, so I got almost everything yesterday – when I was at school things were too nuts to even think about shopping."

"Your mom lives in Paris, right?" Sam pulled a couple of sodas out of the refrigerator and tossed one to Sebastian.

"Yeah." He squirmed a bit internally and added, "So I sent her something a week or two ago." Sebastian took a bite from his pizza to avoid making any eye contact that might encourage further questioning. His mother was always difficult to explain.

Sam continued in his open and earnest way. "And Blaine mentioned your dad lives here, but you're staying with the Andersons because he's travelling for work? He's a…states attorney, right? Blaine said it's kind of like a DA, but for the state?"

"Right," Sebastian said, focusing his gaze on his third slice of pizza and commencing the pat explanation he always used for his father. "We don't have a states attorney in Ohio, so he passed the bar in Illinois and he spends most of his time there for his job. That's why my boarding at Dalton made sense. He basically lives in his house in Springfield. He has a girlfriend there too, but he flies back here sometimes to check up on things. You see, the house I lived in before my parents got divorced – where we had Kurt and Blaine's bachelor party - has been in the family for like a hundred years, so he'll never give that up."

Sam gulped more of his soda, sensing something off about Sebastian, but not knowing quite what to do with it. "It's an awesome house. But Blaine said you normally spend Christmas in Paris with your mom?"

"Yes," Sebastian said, glad for an opportunity to redirect their focus on the city. "Paris is pretty incredible at Christmas time. The aesthetic is stunning. I was telling Coop and Blaine how the Le Bon Marche, Printemps and a few of the other older department stores have these ridiculous window displays." He reached across the counter to grab Blaine's Ipad and pulled up a few photos from the internet for Sam.

"Wow…Stacey! Stevie! Come here! You gotta see this!" Sam called. Blaine, Tina and the children all gathered to look over Sam and Sebastian's shoulders. "This is Paris, where Sebastian has spent most of his Christmases," Sam explained.

Sebastian looked a little surprised at the audience, but he saw Blaine grinning at him, so he continued. He swiftly searched for more images to show the children. "Here are the lights up and down the Avenue Montaigne…that's where all the fanciest shops are," he explained to wide eyed Stacey, who had wriggled between Sam and Sebastian. "See, the lights here look like champagne drizzling. Or, uh, sparkling cider." Blaine's eyes twinkled, watching Sebastian speak so seriously to the little blonde girl.

He addressed Stevie with an equally matter of fact tone. "And this is how they deck out the Place Vendôme…it's an eight sided plaza that used to have statue of Louis XIV, a very rich king. Now it has the Column of the Grande Armée, which Napoleon put up – he was sort of a king that came later." Stacey craned her neck to look more closely at the photo, so Sebastian hoisted her onto his lap. Blaine melted a little and went to get his phone to take a photo.

"And of course there's the Champs d'Elysees, the world's most beautiful avenue. See how the Ferris wheel looks like snowflakes?" Stacey nodded, her eyes sparkling.

"Why aren't you there this year?" Stevie asked.

Sebastian spoke in his straightforward manner, but searched a bit to complete his answer. "Well I...wanted to see my grandmother. And I...wanted to come back to visit with some of my high school friends and see how their college experiences are turning out, and…I wanted to see my friend Santana…and your brother…and I have other family and friends nearby."

"But mostly Blaine." Sam whispered only loud enough for Sebastian to hear.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him and turned to Stevie. "You know Stevie, your brother is on my list."

"What kind of list?"

"The list of friends who are in trouble with me," Sebastian smiled. "His time is coming, the time where he reaches the top of the list and he gets what he deserves. Maybe you can give me some advice on how to punish him."

Everyone laughed. Stevie yelled, "You should play with his guitar! And tickle him! And take all his Chapstick!"

It warmed Blaine's heart to hear Sebastian call Sam his friend, even in the context of his "list."

Sam was saved by Cooper's grand entrance. "Hello, everyone!" Cooper smiled broadly as he swept into the room.

"Coop!" they all cried, except Sebastian, who just smirked at him as Cooper clapped him on the back. He was fast becoming Cooper's favorite, and Sebastian didn't mind. Tina looked at the two of them with trepidation – she was had always been Cooper's favorite.

Cooper played with the children while Tina and Blaine set up a cookie decorating station.

Sebastian turned back to his plate, feeling more comfortable after the laughter. He regarded Sam, thinking about everything he had done for Blaine and how good he was with his siblings. Sebastian normally avoided small talk, but he spoke anyway. "So what are the holiday plans for the Evans family?"

"Oh nothing big, stuff with the kids – ice skating, writing letters to Santa. We just do a small family Christmas, just us – no extended family."

Sebastian nodded, once again wondering what being in a family like Sam's felt like. He had seen them, Rob's being the best example, but he was always a guest, on the outside.

"So will your dad be back for Christmas Eve tomorrow?"

"No," Sebastian replied coolly, swallowing a bite of his pizza. "He has to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas, possibly Christmas Day – his work never really stops with hearings and appeals coming up all the time." He avoided Sam's eyes and sipped his soda. "I am going to see my grandmother and my aunt's family out in Dayton."

"That's great," said Sam, searching for a more pleasant direction for their conversation. "I don't have any grandparents left, and Stevie and Stacey don't even remember the grandma I did know. That's awesome that your grandmother is still around."

The reference to his grandmother helped dissipate some of the tension in Sebastian's body.

Blaine happened to glance over to Sam and Sebastian. Sebastian's posture was a little more rigid than usual and he had an odd look on his face. He came over and put his hands on Sebastian's shoulders, a diffusing more of the tension, almost on contact. "Hey Sam, maybe you could help Tina with the kids? Stevie's a little bit all over the place and he's not really minding me. I think I've hung out with them one too many times and they no longer feel like they need to be polite."

"Sure," Sam hopped up quickly, patting Sebastian's shoulder before he crossed the room.

Blaine sat down. "Hey, are you okay? You look a little…tense."

"Yeah, I'm okay," Sebastian shrugged. "Sam was just asking about my dad."

"Oh," Blaine nodded in understanding. "Well he didn't know any better…"

"I know, I know," Sebastian said distractedly, rubbing the condensation on his drink. "It's not a big deal."

Blaine patted his hand, knowing it _was_ a big deal.

Sebastian's phone pinged with a text message. He pulled it out of his pocket, read it, then slowly looked up at Blaine with genuine surprise. "Speak of the devil. A text from my dad. And get this…he wants to spend Christmas Eve with me."

"Really?" Blaine looked delighted.

"Maybe he has something bad he wants to tell me in person," Sebastian said, glancing sideways to think of what it might be.

"What? You're crazy. Let me look at that." Blaine took the phone from Sebastian's hand.

_DAD: Looks like I might be able to get away for Xmas Eve after all. Should we go out for a good dinner and stay at the old house? We could order a Christmas tree. I would have go back early Christmas day._

"Seb, this is really nice. He wants to spend time with you!"

Sebastian still looked doubtful. "Blaine, you have to understand. He NEVER does this. He came to my Dalton graduation, but I don't think he was there in time to see me actually get my diploma. I'm pretty sure he just got there in time to take one picture with me. Spending time together with me is not in his skill set."

Blaine remained optimistic. "Well maybe he wants to improve on that skill set. He must appreciate the fact that the two of you haven't spent a single Christmas together since your parents got divorced. What were you, eight? So he's missed 10 Christmases with you. He must be so happy you're not in Paris!"

"You're talking about it like I chose Paris every Christmas. He's never invited me to Christmas here. This is a first. He usually spends it with Sally."

"His girlfriend? Well maybe not this year, since his only son is not going to Paris for Christmas. Maybe he's always assumed you wanted to be in Paris, and that's why he never invited you?"

"Okay, now you're just spinning fairytales. I'm still suspicious."

"Suspicious of what? Suspicious that he doesn't really mean what he's saying in this text? That he doesn't actually want to spend time with you? If he didn't want to spend time with you, he wouldn't have sent this text."

Seb had to agree that his train of thought was a little ridiculous. "I guess if he had bad news for me he probably would have just emailed me, that's what he's done for every other piece of bad news he's ever given me. That way he didn't have to deal with my disappointment in person."

"Exactly," said Blaine. "This is nice."

"Blaine do you know how awkward it's going to be? Remember that he can't talk on the phone with me for more than two minutes at a time. And even then there are uncomfortable pauses."

"I know it's always awkward. But you have to start somewhere. You just have to go in with the right attitude and try to help him."

"Help him?"

"Yes, we're officially adults now, and we should recognize that our parents are human and not perfect and might even need our help. You've made me feel more comfortable before, you can do it for your dad, too. Show him you're an adult now and that you'd like to have a different relationship now."

"Ok, that's all from your therapist."

"Yes, and she's very wise," Blaine said smiling. "And even if it's awkward, it will be a start."

"Awkward is just the beginning. It always ends with the criticizing."

"But it's Christmas. He's not going to criticize you on Christmas, is he?"

"How would I know? I needed a nightlight in my room the last time I spent Christmas with him."

"You should give him a chance."

"I'd have to miss Christmas eve with my grandmother."

"You could go to see her during the day."

Sebastian looked torn. "I guess so…"

"Seb, you should do this. I can tell you're starting to get kind of excited about it, just pull the trigger."

"What you call excitement is actually heightened awareness. Again, suspicion."

Blaine started getting worried about how long it was taking for Sebastian to come around to the idea. "Okay, okay, you don't have to do it, if you're not comfortable with it you don't have to go."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"No, you're right." Seb said slowly. "I don't want to wonder what would have happened if I hadn't. I'm not going to chicken out on this."

He typed a text to his father: _Ok, what time should we meet at the house?_

Blaine smiled at him. "This is good."

"I hope so," Sebastian said with doubt.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Sebastian looked at him and arched an eyebrow. "You could break into your father's liquor cabinet to get me some liquid courage - I think I saw a 60 year old bottle of scotch in there."

Blaine gripped Sebastian's shoulder. "You're not going to need that, Mr. Cowardly Lion. You have plenty of courage without it."

Out of habit, Sebastian tried to find other levity in his situation. "Hm. Maybe you should help me pick out something to wear. What do sons of fathers who pay attention to them wear, exactly ?"

"I think we're going to have ask Sam about that one," laughed Blaine.

"Ugh, please don't let it be flannel."

* * *

So there you go! Hopefully no one was ever really worried about the Klaine coffee. But it had to be done, those boys loved each other for a long time and there needed be a check point. And your welcome on what is now seems to becoming a signature bit - the shirtless Sebastian scene :].

Hopefully everyone else was as glad as I was to see Cooper come home! And to glimpse the Warblers, once again looking like they have dropped out of a Scooby Doo cartoon :)

Please drop a line to say hi, reviews definitely me to update this fic as often as I can!


	7. Baseball, Nina, and a Fed-exed Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seblaine fluff, Seblaine shopping, and some serious Seb feels...and some angst (sorry). Oh, and Blaine meets Seb's grandmother and Seb decorates a Christmas tree for dad, and we return to the lake once again. Plus we welcome back old friends Mr. Anderson, Mrs. Anderson and the infamous Uncle Willy, played by Chris Noth, Catherine Zeta Jones, and Robert Downey Jr. Plus, Coop makes a few appearances here and there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a Merry and Angsty Seblaine Christmas Eve! BIG Thanks for the ongoing efforts of Thomas and Dori, super-beta-readers!
> 
> Oh and, re: the first scene, YOU'RE WELCOME.
> 
> * * *

"You can't give your dad a bottle of scotch for Christmas," Blaine called from the bathroom, where he was doing his hair.

Sebastian sat on the bed. "Why not? It's what I give him every year – 40 year old scotch."

"That's so impersonal."

Sebastian examined the heel of his new shoes. "It's very personal. He likes scotch. It's all he drinks. And even he can't afford to drink the 40 year old stuff all the time."

"It's impersonal that you give it to him every year."

"You can never have enough good scotch."

"No. Just no." Blaine rolled his eyes and then tried to regroup. "Well, I guess this just means now we have to leave earlier than I thought and stop by the mall. So we can't wait for Cooper to come back and find that tie he borrowed from me and I can't wrap that last gift for your grandmother as artistically as I wanted to. We'll have to just get a giftbag at the mall."

"Tragedy!" Sebastian teased. Blaine shook his head, smiling as he noted again how Sebastian's spirits had been steadily rising since his father texted the day before.

"You know I love Christmas. I just like everything about it to be as beautiful as possible. And I've never met your grandmother before so I want her gifts to be as beautiful as possible when I'm there to help present them."

"Well there are plenty of beautiful gift bags. They were one of the great inventions of the 20th century, if you asked me."

"But they're too easy. When you handwrap a gift it shows you took the time because you cared."

"Or that you paid Bloomingdale's to handwrap it for you."

"My gifts are always more beautifully wrapped than any old department store," Blaine sniffed.

"That they are, that they are," Sebastian relented, eyeing the gorgeously wrapped packages on the desk. He strolled towards the bathroom to hurry Blaine. "Damn Blaine, Santana says I'm the one who takes forever with my hair…"

[](http://imgur.com/cjs9z6r)

He stopped himself short when he reached the doorway and found an unexpectedly shirtless Blaine examining his hair in the mirror. It had been 3 months since he had seen Blaine shirtless, and he liked it about a 1000 times better now that Blaine carried himself with more confidence, a few more months past the Kurt-breakup. Now Sebastian fancied himself a cool character when it came to seeing hot, semi-naked men. Yet seeing shirtless Blaine Anderson, even more chiseled than he remembered last summer, newly muscled and even more attainable post-break-up, was...really, really, HOT. Sebastian felt himself get warm under the collar. Then he spotted the significantly more toned abs, the treasure trail down from his navel to…Sebastian shook his head. _Get a grip_. Sebastian Smythe did not get flustered.

What Sebastian Smythe did do was always retain the upper hand by getting a good laugh out of a sexy situation. "You're not even dressed yet? We have to go! And hell B, has Sam been dragging you to the gym? Because if it's him I have to thank, remind me to give him a spot bonus. Because I approve of the arms, and the new pecs. And the abs. Definitely the abs…" Sebastian smirked.

Blaine blushed. "Stop it! I'm almost dressed, see, I have my pants and socks on, I just couldn't find a clean undershirt and I never put my dress shirt on until my hair is done, otherwise I might get gel on it."

"Well then by all means, keep doing your hair!" Sebastian teased, waggling his eyebrows. "And it's nice to see you are still off the chest waxing, I don't know why Tina and Hummel were into you being a Ken-Doll. This is much better…delicious."

"Get out, you're making me self-conscious!" Blaine shooed him.

Sebastian gave him a pouting face but allowed himself to be kicked out of the bathroom. He headed to the closet. "I'll grab your shoes to save us some time." He stepped inside and called out, "Damn Blaine, you're like a woman – look at all these shoes!" He dug around, chuckling. "Okay this pair is hilarious – did you get these from the Elton John for Target collection?"

"Shut up! If you're taking about the red and turquoise pair I'll have you know that they are Versace."

"The fact that they are Versace does not make them less hideous! Kurt bought them for you, didn't he?!

"No comment."

Sebastian laughed triumphantly. "Hey, I found your Dalton loafers, you have to throw them out, they look horrendous."

"You are such a neat freak about your clothes and shoes. They're fine."

"They look like you went fly-fishing in them. Oh, and these leather flip flops look comfortable…where'd you get them? I want a pair."

"Oh, who is the woman now?"

"Excuse me, but if I got these, that would give me about 20 pairs of shoes. You easily have 50 in here."

"I do _not_ have 50."

"Okay, I'm going to start counting…"

"Weren't you going to find me shoes for today?"

"Oh, right….you'll wear these black wing tips, yes?" he asked, digging out the most formal pair he could find.

"Yes," Blaine appeared behind him, now in a dress shirt. He grabbed the shoes from Sebastian's hands and swatted Sebastian's backside with them. "Now get out of my closet!"

Sebastian chuckled, then paused in front of a tie rack. "Oh but wait, I'll pick out a tie for you," he rifled through the rack quickly. "Ah-ha! The Dalton tie! Wear the Dalton tie! My grandmother loved the uniform."

"I am _not_ wearing the Dalton tie." Blaine laughed. "It doesn't go with my suit." He found a red silk tie, threw it around his neck and stepped out of the closet to tie it in front of the mirror. "I'm so excited about Christmas this year! I got such perfect gifts for everyone. I couldn't believe I found those special Cuban cigars that my dad's been looking for forever. And Tina is going to die when she sees that I found purple alligator go-go boots! And Sam's going to freak out when he sees the life sized Wolverine and Cyclops cardboard figures I got him. They even fold down so we can put them in our suitcases and bring them back to the RC with us!"

"Ok elf-boy, stop bouncing with excitement for a minute, you're screwing up your tie," Sebastian said, chuckling. He moved over to stand in front of Blaine and bat his hands away. "Here, let me." He tied it carefully with his deft fingers. "There," he said, arranging the tie in place and straightening his lapels. They smiled into each other's eyes. "My grandmother is going to love you. Red is her favorite color."

They headed downstairs holding several gifts, depositing them on the hall table before ducking into the kitchen. Mrs. Anderson sat at the kitchen island, cutting bread for stuffing. Mr. Anderson sat in the breakfast nook with a newspaper.

[](http://imgur.com/SCjo5Qj)

Blaine said cheerfully, "Sebastian and I are leaving, I'll be back by 3."

Mrs. Anderson wiped her hands on her apron and stood up. "Okay, drive carefully in that snow out there. Merry Christmas, Sebastian. We'll see you tomorrow for Christmas dinner." She smiled into his face and hugged him. Mr. Anderson rose and shook his hand.

"Merry Christmas," said Sebastian, with a small but genuine smile for Mrs. Anderson and a friendly but respectful nod for Mr. Anderson.

"Oh, wait a minute," Mrs. Anderson ducked into the pantry and came out with a tall and narrow gift bag adorned with a satin bow.

"For your father," Mr. Anderson noted. "I haven't seen him since we were very young children – different boarding schools – but wish him a Merry Christmas. It's just some good scotch."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate it," Sebastian said sincerely.

"Bye!" Blaine called, as they walked out the door.

"Goodbye!" Mrs. Anderson called.

In their overcoats and scarves, their arms filled with gifts again, they walked onto the driveway.

Blaine rolled his eyes at Sebastian. "Just say it," he said.

"I don't know what you mean." Sebastian said, smirking.

Blaine opened the trunk and rolled his eyes. "Just say it, I know you want to."

"I think I'd prefer it if you said it."

Blaine put the gifts in the trunk. "No."

"If there is anyone who should feel obligated to say it, it's you..."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Fine. Scotch can be a good gift."

"Ha!"

"FROM VIRTUAL STRANGERS."

* * *

_[Blaine]_

_Silver Bells,_

_Silver Bells,_

_It's Christmastime, in the city_

_[Sebastian]_

_Ring-a-ling_

_Hear them sing,_

_Soon it will be Christmas day._

Blaine interrupted their singing to warm his nose as they walked past the festively decorated shop windows. "I don't understand why Midwestern cities have outdoor malls," he said.

"Cheaper overhead," Sebastian replied dryly. He looked at his watch. "We have to go pretty soon, and I'm a little hungry. Can we just stop with what we have and go get a pretzel? I didn't have enough lunch in that god-awful food court."

"No," Blaine said grimly. "A scarf is not enough."

"I still don't see why a scarf is better than a bottle of 40 year old scotch," Sebastian said. "For all I know, he has that exact scarf."

"Nope, I doubt it," Blaine said triumphantly. "That scarf is from this year's exclusive holiday collection that benefits that pediatric AIDS Foundation."

"Of course it is," Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. "You are definitely on a roll with gift selection this year, Blaine Anderson - exorbitantly expensive and philanthropic. "

"And it's clothing – it's personal, he'll keep it. He won't just down it when he's stressed out and recycle the bottle when he's through with it."

Sebastian chuckled. "Okay, okay."

"Now we just need a little part two gift," Blaine said. "Ideally something sentimental, maybe something that reminds you of a special memory you have of him ?"

Sebastian smirked. "You are making a big leap in your logic there, B. You are assuming that I have special memories of him."

"There must be something," Blaine said hopefully. He saw a Disney store. "Did he ever take you to Disneyworld?"

"Nope, we always vacationed in Europe and those trips were mostly about my mom and that side of the family."

"Did he ever coach you on a baseball team or something?"

"No, he never made the time," Sebastian said, with some bitterness. Then he slowed his walking. "But there was one time…"

Blaine looked at him eagerly. "What? What?"

Sebastian looked unsure. "Well, I don't know if it counts as a 'special memory,' but there was one time he took me to a Reds game."

"That sounds perfect!" Blaine said.

"Ok, hear the story before you decide it's perfect. We didn't catch a homerun ball or anything. But yeah, he took me to a game. It was the only time he ever took me to a game. I was probably about 7." Sebastian looked at Blaine's encouraging eyes and continued, furrowing his brow to remember. "They were fighting a lot then - I remember my mom kind of badgered him to take me to the game. I was so excited about it because I had been playing baseball at the park with my friends for awhile and because I had been watching baseball on TV for at least a year or two by then…"

"And because it was your dad taking you," Blaine added quietly.

Sebastian nodded, stopping to lean on a closed kiosk. He looked lost in thought. "But I was a klutz back then, and going down those big stadium steps, I fell on our way to our seats. Big fall, hands and knees and shins and the heels of my palms on concrete, all skinned and bleeding. I remember it hurt really bad…I guess not just because I was bleeding but because I was really embarrassed."

He swallowed and Blaine squeezed his hand. "I remember crying and telling my dad I wanted to go home because everyone was looking. He scooped me up to hurry us to our seats behind the dugout, but I kept crying and crying and crying. I guess I was so disappointed that I had embarrassed us and screwed up this day that I had been so excited about.

"At first he was doing his usual thing, saying stuff like 'You're fine, it's okay. Shake it off,' but I had worked myself up to a point where I couldn't stop crying even if I wanted to. So then he just started talking, I guess to distract me. He started talking about his favorite baseball player: Ken Griffey, Junior. He told me every back story and statistic and game account he could think of about him. He went on and on and on, and it worked. I stopped crying eventually, and sat quietly for the whole game – I remember that he let me sort of huddle up next to him the whole afternoon. Closest I think we ever came to cuddling. I was afraid to move because I thought I would screw something else up. We didn't talk much, but I remember that I loved eating popcorn and peanuts and crackerjack because he said that's what you eat at baseball games, and I remember bragging about all of it at school on Monday."

Blaine had tears in his eyes. It was an exceptionally rare moment, when Sebastian entrusted Blaine with a glimpse of his younger self that had been locked away. Blaine did not take it lightly. "That's a beautiful story, Sebastian."

"It's not _Field of Dreams_ , but that's all I got. The only memory from my childhood of my dad acting remotely like a dad is supposed to act. Take it or leave it."

"To the sports memorabilia store we go!" Blaine said, looking like a determined kitten. He clutched Sebastian by the hand and flew down the outdoor corridor. Sebastian smiled in spite of himself.

* * *

Sebastian rang the door chime on his grandmother's stately old mansion. It was not as expansive or grandiose as the Smythe mansion, but it had a more ornate and European feel to it.

"This place is gorgeous," Blaine breathed.

The door opened and a white capped maid greeted them.

"Merry Christmas, Celine," Sebastian said with a kind smile.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Sebastian," she said with affection.

Sebastian led Blaine towards a sitting room. Through the open archway, they could see Sebastian's elegantly dressed grandmother sitting on a beautiful damask covered settee. Her snowy hair was like a cloud, dressed in an elegant topknot.

The moment he stepped in the doorway, Sebastian dropped his gifts and flowers on a table and strode straight over to his grandmother with an irresistibly boyish grin on his face. "Merry Christmas, Nina!" he said, kissing both of her cheeks and giving her a hearty embrace. "It's good to see you. Can't we move you to Stanford?"

Blaine stood near the door, in a delighted state of shock. "He had never seen Sebastian so…sweet. It was almost like watching a completely different person. It was adorable.

"Sebby, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" She beckoned Blaine to come closer, patting the seat on the chair to her right.

"Right, sorry." Sebastian said with sheepish smile. Blaine came quickly, smiling broadly and wondering if he had ever seen Sebastian look sheepish. No. Never.

Sebastian folded his long legs and sat at his grandmother's feet, making him look even more boyishly attractive. "Blaine Anderson, this is Marie Fondeur, my grandmother. Nina, this is Blaine, my friend from…Dalton?" He laughed a little. "We didn't go to Dalton together, but we met there…so I guess yes, my friend from Dalton. Blaine is studying musical theatre in Europe now – maybe I mentioned that in my letters to you?"

"Yes you did," Grandmother Fondeur said warmly, taking Blaine's hand. "Sebastian's never brought a friend to meet me before, so you must be special."

Blaine blushed. "I feel privileged to meet you," he said, "Sebastian has spoken of you often with me." He smiled at them both. "But he never told me he called you 'Nina' – it's always 'my grandmother' this and 'my grandmother' that."

"Referring to me respectfully, that's a good boy," Grandmother Fondeur said fondly, patting Sebastian's shoulder. He beamed at her and Blaine marveled at how much more handsome he was when he was wearing that smile rather than a smirk.

Sebastian explained. "My grandfather – I think I told you he died when I was 5 – used to call her 'Regina,' which means Queen in Latin. When I was a baby I couldn't pronounce it so I called her 'Nina.' She indulged me and never corrected me."

Grandmother Fondeur said with a smile, "He was the most beautiful little boy, how could I correct him on something as silly as my nickname?"

Blaine smiled. "And what may I call you…Grandmother Fondeur?"

"That will be just fine," she said warmly.

"I brought you your flowers," Sebastian said, jumping up to get the huge armfuls of red Ecuadorian roses he had brought. Blaine thought he looked like a prince coming to court.

"Heavens, child! Did you bring a whole garden?" she said.

"Well I used to bring them every week, but I was gone for 12 weeks, so of course I was going to bring you extra this time." he said, smiling at her indulgently.

Her laugh rang out so heartily that Blaine had to join her.

"I'll get some vases from Celine," Sebastian headed toward the door.

Once Sebastian was out of earshot, Blaine leaned forward with a shy smile. "Please, Grandmother Fondeur, tell me more about when Sebastian was a little boy."

She chuckled. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. Like…what were his favorite things to do?"

"Most of all with me, he liked to listen to my stories," she said.

Blaine agreed, "He's a very good listener."

"And he loved to play the piano, dance, sing, watch musicals with me. He loved sports, too. He used to sit in my garden and throw a baseball in the air and catch it in his mitt for hours at a time."

Blaine thought that sounded lonely. "Was he ever naughty?"

"Yes and no," she said thoughtfully. "He was a sweet, artistic, active child when he was very young, but the divorce was difficult for him. It made him tougher, though that was not always a bad thing. But it did get him into more trouble, fights with other boys, sassing his mother." She looked lost in the memory. "She couldn't handle him very well, but he was always good for me. I made him mind me at a very young age. But I spoiled him too." She gestured at the huge pile of gifts in the corner and let out a little laugh. "Now he spoils me. "

Blaine smiled, thinking about how much Sebastian spoiled him as well.

Sebastian strode back into the room, the little boy grown up to be an attractive and charming young man. He asked his grandmother, "Do you want to open your gifts first, or shall we sing?"

"Presents first, of course," she said merrily.

They helped her joyfully rip through the wrapping paper. She pulled out a lovely Oscar de la Renta shawl. "I _am_ a regina!" she said, draping it over her shoulder and turning her nose in the air. Sebastian and Blaine laughed appreciatively.

The next, smaller box revealed a diamond brooch.

"Sebby, this is all together stunning," she said. She kissed Sebastian, who was sitting at her feet again. Then her sharp eyes looked between Sebastian and Blaine. "But you've never given me jewelry before. Is this your doing?" she asked, looking Blaine straight in the eye.

"I may have helped," Blaine said with a small smile.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, too.

After all the gifts were opened, Sebastian walked over to the antique grand piano.

"Blaine's a better singer than me," he said. "So you're in for a Christmas treat." He played a few scales with a flourish. "But we always start with this one."

_youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=vOwSLH5MrBk_  
 _Sun-tanned,_  
 _Wind-blown_  
 _Honeymooners at last alone._  
 _Feeling far above par._  
 _Oh, how lucky we are!_  
 _While I give to you and you give to me,_  
True love, true love.

Blaine felt sentimental, watching Sebastian channel Bing Crosby.  
 _So on and on it'll always be,_  
 _True love, true love._  
 _For you and I_  
 _Have a guardian angel on high,_  
 _With nothin' to do._  
 _But to give to you and to give to me,_  
 _Love forever true._

Blaine, who had also been brought up on old movie musicals, sang along joyfully to The Trolley Song:

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=0odXnKhKBxQ __  
 _Clang, clang, clang" went the trolley_  
 _"Ding, ding, ding" went the bell_  
 _"Zing, zing, zing" went my heartstrings_  
 _For the moment I saw him I fell_

_"Chug, chug, chug" went the motor_  
 _"Bump, bump, bump" went the brake_  
 _"Thump, thump, thump" went my heartstrings_  
 _When he smiled, I could feel the car shake_

During the next line, Sebastian tipped an imaginary hat and Blaine clutched melodramatically at his heart, sitting down on the bench with him. Blaine laughed through his surprise. Sebastian Smythe was never corny...yet here he was, clowning.  
  
 _He tipped his hat, and took a seat_  
 _He said he hoped he hadn't stepped upon my feet_  
 _He asked my name, I held my breath_  
 _I couldn't speak because he scared me half to death…_

Sebastian winked at Blaine as they sang this one:  
youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=zbuTpGaO9_g

_[Sebastian]_  
 _Bye, bye, baby_  
 _Remember you're my baby_  
 _When they give you the eye_  
 _Although I know that you care_  
 _Won't you write and declare_  
 _That though on the loose_  
 _You are still on the square_

_[Blaine]_

_I'll be gloomy_  
 _But send that rainbow to me_  
 _Then my shadows will fly_  
 _Though you'll be gone for a while_  
 _I know that I'll be smilin'_  
 _With my baby by and by, and by  
_ _With my baby by and by_

Blaine was missing Sebastian already and they had more than 10 days before they had to go back to school.

"I of course loved _American in Paris_ even more after we vacationed there. I wanted to be Gene Kelly when I was five," Sebastian said to Blaine. "That's when I started dancing so much." He sang without one note of vibrato, twinkling at Blaine:

_'S wonderful! 'S marvelous!_  
 _You should care for me_!  
 _'S awful nice! 'S paradise!_  
 _'S what I love to see!_

_You've made my life so glamorous_  
 _You can't blame me for feeling amorous_  
 _Oh! 'S wonderful! 'S marvelous!_  
 _That you should care for me!_

Grandmother Fondeur clapped her hands, smiling at both of them. Sebastian got up from the piano and walked with purpose to an antique console cabinet behind the settee. He pulled out an expensive looking portable record player and a stack of vinyl records. The crackle of the first record made Blaine smile, and his smile grew wider as Sebastian made a gallant bow in front of his grandmother.

"And now," he said, "We dance."

She rose and curtsied, and they danced gracefully to _By Strauss_ from _An American in Paris, Edelweiss_ from _The Sound of Music_ , and a few other tunes Blaine couldn't remember the names of . He took photos with his IPhone. Sebastian was having too much fun to threaten him about posting them anywhere. Blaine wasn't sure his IPhone would really capture the carefree young man in front of him. He also wasn't sure anyone looking at his photos would believe that the young man was actually Sebastian Smythe.

When Grandmother Fondeur was finally out of breath, she sat down.

Sebastian looked at Blaine, his eyes gleaming. "I know you grew up on old musicals with your mom, how about, from 'Singin' in the Rain'…Moses Supposes?"

Blaine laughed, "I couldn't keep up with you, tap dancer!"

"Oh, it's just for fun, come on!" Sebastian said, with an encouraging wave of the hand.

So they went for it and attempted the famous number, dancing to the old vinyl record and making Grandmother Fondeur wipe her tears of laughter away [ _author's note: this is a MUST SEE classic dance number, it's fun to imagine Seb doing the Donald O'Connor part (he's in the green sweater and has the leaner build like Sebastian) and Blaine doing the Gene Kelly part (the one in the brown sweater whose build is closer to Blaine's. Check it out at youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=tciT9bmCMq8]_.

When they finished, out of breath and laughing, they sat down to have tea with Grandmother Fondeur from a beautiful antique tea cart Celine rolled in.

While Blaine was in the restroom, Nina said quickly, "Sebby, 'fess up to your Nina. You said in your letters he's not your boyfriend, but it certainly doesn't look that way. The way you look at him, the way he looks at you… "

"He's not my boyfriend, Nina." Sebastian swallowed.

"Well he should be. I like him," she said resolutely.

"He just broke off an engagement, only about 4 months ago. He's not ready. And I don't know that he loves me that way." Sebastian looked at the doorway, expecting Blaine to return any second.

"Well tell him _you_ love him that way! You do, yes?" she looked at him keenly.

"I…well..." Sebastian suddenly looked like a little boy.

"You do, I can tell you do." she said firmly. "Then you better tell him you love him. So when he's ready, he knows you're waiting."

"Nina, it's complicated."

"Sebastian Chase Smythe – that is nonsense." She spoke in the same straightforward way Sebastian often did. "You young people think love is so complicated. It's not. You love him, and from the looks of it, he loves you. So you tell each other. The rest works itself out. End of story."

"Nina…"

Blaine returned, wondering why Sebastian looked almost…embarrassed. But Sebastian Smythe never got embarrassed. He decided to let it lie. "Sebastian says you play board games. Do you know Parchesi?"

They played until it was almost time to leave. Before they left, they sang a few Christmas carols at the piano for Nina:

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=HvAb4xfqcxA

_Hark! how the bells_  
Sweet silver bells  
All seem to say,  
"Throw cares away."  
Christmas is here  
Bringing good cheer  
To young and old  
Meek and the bold 

_Ding, dong, ding, dong_  
 _That is their song_  
 _With joyful ring_  
 _All caroling_  
 _One seems to hear_  
 _Words of good cheer_  
 _From ev'rywhere_  
 _Filling the air_

_Oh how they pound,_  
 _Raising the sound,_  
 _O'er hill and dale,_  
 _Telling their tale,_  
 _Gaily they ring_  
 _While people sing_  
 _Songs of good cheer_  
 _Christmas is here_  
 _Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas_  
 _Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas_

_On, on they send_  
 _On without end_  
 _Their joyful tone_  
 _To ev'ry home_

_Ding, dong, ding, dong_

Sebastian and Blaine got into the Anderson station wagon. As he fastened his seatbelt Blaine asked casually, "So how long do you think it will take to get to your house from here, SEBBY?"

"About 45 minutes, SQUIRT."

* * *

Blaine and Sebastian rolled up to the Smythe Mansion. "This place is so beautiful," Blaine said thoughtfully. "But I'm glad you stayed with us over vacation. This huge house would be lonely with just you rattling around in it."

Sebastian shrugged. "I did plenty of rattling around in it growing up. I'm used to it." He put the car in park and turned to Blaine. "But it's been very entertaining staying with the Andersons. I like watching Cooper try to get under your father's skin just to get his attention. And you and your mom are like the same person…you're so much like her, it's…" he searched for the word. "sweet."

"I guess every family has its own dynamic." Blaine smiled. "I'm excited for your Christmas Eve, Seb. This could mark the beginning of a new chapter in your relationship with your dad."

Sebastian shook his head. "Please don't start again with the Hallmark movie business. I'm trying to keep my expectations LOW."

Blaine nodded apologetically. "Sorry, I get carried away with Christmas. But go in with the right attitude. Remember you can help make him feel more comfortable. Unfortunately in this situation you may have to be the bigger man. Try to be okay with the silences - though I know that's not easy. That's something Cooper and I still haven't really mastered with my dad."

"Oh, the awkward silence doesn't last long, we move on to judging and badgering pretty quickly," Sebastian said with an impudent smirk.

Blaine squeezed his hand and looked a little worried. They got out of the car and pulled Sebastian's Tumi overnight bag out of the trunk, along with the two small gifts for his father and the Andersons' bottle of scotch.

As they walked up to the door, Blaine remarked, "The relatives are descending as we speak back at my house – by this time Coop and I would always stake out how to smuggle food out into our hiding place in my parents' wardrobe. Unfortunately this year my parents want us to perform so we're going to be stuck in the middle of things."

"Yes, it's unfortunate you can't hide out in a _closet_ like an eight year old anymore."

Blaine shoved him. "So did you hear from your dad since yesterday? Any updates about what you'll be doing tonight?"

"Nope. All I have is that first text. So all I know is that we are going to dinner somewhere good – which should be the highlight of the evening – my dad likes to eat well."

Blaine rolled his eyes at him. "That explains why you're such a food snob. But you're sure to do something else, too."

Sebastian considered this. "I can't imagine my dad planning anything. Well, I suppose there's the tree, does that count? When he wrote 'We could order a Christmas tree' – it meant he wanted _me_ to order a Christmas tree. So I ordered one online yesterday and spent a fortune getting it Fed-exed. So if looking at the tree is considered 'doing something,' then that is also on the agenda."

"There it is!" Blaine spotted at a huge cardboard box and several smaller boxes from FrontGate, lying behind a bush near the front door. "It's beautiful," he said, turning his head sideways to look at the photo on the label. "They sell such elegant things."

They took off their coats and suit jackets and dragged it into the house.

Blaine looked at his watch. "Do you want me to help you put it up?" he asked.

"No, you need to get back to your family – your mom looked frazzled, you should go help her – you know your dad and Cooper are going to be useless," Sebastian said. "I'm not meeting my dad at the restaurant until eight tonight, so I have hours and hours to do it."

"Are you sure? You don't want me to stay with you for a little longer?" Blaine looked worried again.

Sebastian took him by the shoulders and pushed him towards the door. "Blaine, I know you and Cooper are you used to being in each other's hair all the time, but some of us 'only' children are really okay with being alone. I'm going to be fine all by my lonesome for 6 whole hours. I have plenty to do here with this tree and I actually _can_ do it without you. Then my dad will be here for the Father-Son Christmas Relationship Challenge and I'll have his potentially moody and disapproving company for several awkward hours. But I won't be lonely!"

Blaine laughed. "Okay, okay. I just know you won't be able to decorate that tree as beautifully as I would."

"You aren't the only one with an artistic eye around here, Killer." Sebastian said, tickling Blaine a bit as he opened the front door.

Blaine giggled a little and turned around to face him at the door. "Fine. I'll see you tomorrow then. That's when I'll give you my gift, okay?"

"Okay," Sebastian's eyes twinkled. "That gives me time to run out and get you a gift from the gas station."

"Santa is going to leave coal in your stocking," Blaine said. Then he gave Sebastian a hug, looking just like a kid again. "Merry Christmas, Seb."

Sebastian hugged him back and murmured fondly in his ear, "Merry Christmas, B."

Then Blaine got into his car and drove away.

Sebastian watched him drive off, a sweet smile on his face. Then he turned back to the front hall and surveyed the pile of FedEx boxes. He carried them into the multimedia room. It was not the most picturesque room in the house, but the one he thought would be the most functional for tonight. If his dad didn't have a plan for after dinner, Sebastian could suggest a movie and they could watch it with the Christmas tree gleaming at them from the corner of the room. Perhaps they could open up the Andersons' bottle of scotch and watch _Giant_ , or one of the other James Dean movies his father had recommended to him when he was 9 or 10. Sebastian had loved them, even though he had never watched any of them _with_ his always busy father. It was a good plan involving a minimum of actual conversation.

After dragging the large tree box into the room from the hall, he rolled up his shirt sleeves and took his tie off to start ripping into all the boxes. Unpacking the various tree branches and boxes of ornaments took time, so eventually he got up and plugged his IPhone into a docking station and opened Pandora. Blaine had used it last when his own phone had run out of battery, so of course it opened on a Christmas station. Sebastian let it play when he saw it was playing one of the few American Christmas carols he didn't find too schmaltzy for his taste:

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=qAi-LLcNKbU __  
 _Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum  
 _A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum  
 _Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum  
 _To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,  
 _rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,_____

_So to honour Him, pa rum pum pum pum,  
 _When we come._ _

With a grave face, Sebastian worked steadily to put together the 8 foot Christmas tree, which was prewired with white lights, just like those he remembered on the last tree they had during the last Christmas he had spent with his father.

_Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum_  
 _I am a poor boy to, pa rum pum pum pum_  
 _I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum_  
 _That's fit to give a king, par rum pum pum_  
 _rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,_

_Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,_  
 _On my drum?_

_Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum_  
 _The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum_  
 _I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum_  
 _I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,_  
 _rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,_

_Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum_  
Me and my drum. 

Next were the ornaments: several expensive boxes of traditionally beautiful balls, snowflakes, delicate stars, angels, icicles and other baubles. He had even ordered a few musical themed ornaments to indulge his own taste. It was a big task, so after several minutes, Sebastian turned off an obnoxious Christmas carol that had begun playing and turned on the TV. He flipped past Jim Carrey's ugly mug in _The Grinch_ , the cheesiest scene in _The Family Man_ , and _Home Alone 2_. He finally stopped on _Miracle on 34_ _th_ _Street_ , vaguely remembering his grandmother playing it for him when he was younger.

When he was finally finished with the many boxes of ornaments, he stepped back to survey his work. It was lovely, but it didn't look quite right. It didn't look like other people's Christmas trees. He thought of the Andersons' tree, which wore beautiful ornaments, but also many of Blaine and Cooper's handmade childhood ornaments and the strings of cranberries and popcorn they made last night with Tina, Sam and the kids. Sebastian shrugged, knowing there was nothing he could do to make a tree look more sentimental in a house that hadn't had any sentiment in it for 10 years. Just as he handled many such issues in his life, he decided not to dwell on it and be satisfied that the tree was aesthetically gorgeous. Perhaps next year he could get Sam's siblings to improve upon it.

He headed upstairs to change out of his suit, carrying his tie and suit jacket. He smiled, thinking of Blaine pulling on his tie in the middle of a song that afternoon. He broke into a quiet chuckle as his thoughts drifted to his grandmother's merry laugh when he and Blaine clowned for her during The Trolley Song. The slightly surreal conclusion he had to make was that he was feeling more grateful than he had in years.

He could hear the movie still playing downstairs:

" _Look Doris, someday you're going to find that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn't work. And when you do, don't overlook those lovely intangibles. You'll discover those are the only things that are worthwhile."_

Sebastian found himself humming _Carol of the Bells_ as he got dressed in the blazer and collared shirt he wore at the Top of the Mark. He thought of Blaine's glowing face when they danced, and the way he looked at Sebastian when they returned to the hotel room. As he changed his shoes, he shook himself out of that daydream and he thought ahead to tomorrow's Christmas dinner Blaine and the Andersons. For reasons unbeknownst to him, he then found himself thinking of Mr. Anderson. Blaine and Cooper, over beers and the vestiges of the pizza last night, had speculated that their stoic father was getting more sentimental with age. Sebastian found himself wondering if that was also the case with his own father – perhaps that was why he wanted to spend Christmas Eve together?

Sebastian went downstairs, heading for the kitchen for a snack to tide himself over before the late dinner. He would have to steal something from Teresa's stash and replace it tomorrow, since no one had been living in the house since before he left for Stanford. He managed to find a large bag of pretzels in the pantry and a bottle of root beer in the refrigerator. Heading back through the entry hall, he spotted the gifts for his father on a console. He should put them under the tree. He picked up them up, juggling the scarf box, the gift bag, the wine bag with the bottle of scotch, the big bag of pretzels and the soda bottle wet with condensation.

He really should have known better than to carry that much at once, because the precarious armful made him move too quickly towards the coffee table to unload his burden. The moment his new, slick leather Ferragamo soles hit the edge of the rug in the multimedia room, he tripped and dropped almost everything. He had the good sense to hold on to the expensive bottle of scotch, but the slippery root beer bottle went flying and broke into a sticky glass mess all over a side section of the hardwood floor.

Sebastian's first thought was how Blaine would have laughed at what was probably a droll sight – the great Sebastian Smythe, still a klutz - long arms and legs floundering, bags and boxes flying, landing on his ass. He had to chuckle at himself as he stood up.

He headed to the kitchen, then to the corner of the attached garage. It was when he grabbed the broom, dustpan and mop that he spotted them. Boxes of Christmas decorations on the bottom shelves in the far corner of the enormous garage. He had assumed any family decorations were in Paris with his mother. When he opened the first box, he realized they were leftover from a Christmas party his father had given for his boarding school reunion a few years ago. Sebastian dug through the box in case there was anything to add to the little tableau he was creating for himself.

For himself and for his father, he admitted reluctantly. Blaine had said he should make his father feel comfortable. That he should help his father. Yet his father had done little to deserve it. His father had done little to deserve a second chance with Sebastian. But a second chance was what Blaine had given him, so he would do the same for his unskilled father, who had tried to care for him at the Reds game so long ago.

Sebastian first put aside yards of exquisite garland. He wasn't sure he would be able to drape them as artistically as Teresa had. Under the garland he also found two handsome wreaths. They would be easy enough to put up. Under that was just more and more garland, until he spied a large plastic storage case at the very bottom of the big box. He raised his eyebrows when he saw what was inside the case: a few dozen Christmas ornaments. They were not perfect and expensive like the ones he had just hung, but personal and individual and…sentimental. They must have been accidentally left behind by his mother. Among them were a clay disk with his small handprint pressed into it; a silver rattle ornament from Tiffany's engraved "Baby's First Christmas" and tied with a Tiffany blue ribbon; a Cincinnati Reds ornament in the shape of a baseball; a picture frame ornament with a photo of his late paternal grandmother holding a very blond baby Sebastian. Also, wrapped very carefully in extra tissue paper were at least a dozen truly atrocious looking construction paper, felt, and cardboard ornaments clearly made by a clumsy young boy's hands.

30 minutes later he had finally cleaned up the root beer mess. As he walked back from returning the cleaning supplies to the garage, his phone chirped with the tone he designated for Blaine's texts.

_BLAINE: I take back everything I said. Forget your dad, get back here and save me from Cooper and Uncle Willy._

_SEBASTIAN: Uncle Willy is an affront to all women, animals and everything lovely in this world. I love that guy._

_BLAINE: Uncle Willy brought GUINNESS to a Christmas party. Who does that?! I am having Halloween flashbacks. They are shouting for my cousin Sadie to chug it, and I know I'm next. Coop's got that look in his eye._

_SEBASTIAN: Sounds fun. It's crickets here._

_BLAINE: Fun? You're just cruel. Crickets sound wonderful. Maybe we should change places. Can I come over?_

_SEBASTIAN: As if Cooper or your mom would let you. I bet if you pulled your dad aside though, you might be able to get him to drive you. My guess is he hates that party as much as you do but he loves your mom too much to say anything. But wouldn't that be something? Your dad, my dad, you, and me. An awkward holiday catastrophe waiting to happen._

_BLAINE: My dad keeps looking at me like I should be doing something._

_SEBASTIAN: Doing what?_

_BLAINE: I don't know, if I did, I'd be doing it._

_SEBASTIAN: That's his natural countenance, remember?_

_BLAINE: Gotta go, Uncle Willy is going for the 60 year old scotch._

_SEBASTIAN: Godspeed_

Amused by the Anderson household report, Sebastian decided to finally take a break from his industriousness. As he sipped his drink, the bright red gift bag Blaine had picked out for his father's second present caught his eye from the coffeetable. He idly picked it up and dug through the tissue to have a second look at the autographed Ken Griffey, Jr. rookie baseball card protected in an expensive collectors' glass case. He stared at it for a few seconds, wondering what he father would say when he opened it.

He finally stood up to hang the family ornaments, feeling a little silly about it for some reason.

When his phone beeped with a text in his pocket, he immediately remembered the reason. He remembered all the reasons why it was foolish to hang up relics of a past he didn't even remember clearly. He remembered why his family was not like so many others and pretending that they were was idiotic. He remembered why he kind of hated Christmas. He remembered why he really, really, shouldn't give any more fucking credit to hope.

He thought all of this because it was not Blaine's text tone and he instinctively knew that it wasn't going to be a text from Santana, or Rob, or Nick. He pulled the phone from his pocket and read it with a grim expression:

_DAD: Can't manage getting back. Sally really wants me for a family thing tonight, and some extra work has popped up, which means I probably have to go into the office for at bigger chunk of tomorrow. You'll probably have more fun with your buddy's family anyway. Talk soon. Merry Christmas._

_SEBASTIAN: Ok._

"You may have to be the bigger man," Blaine had said. So Sebastian's fingers bitterly pounded out the bald-faced, 14 letter lie.

_SEBASTIAN: Merry Christmas_

He could feel his temperature rise, but he refused to throw or kick something. It just wasn't worth the energy. His father had done this before. He had not delivered before. He had decided to bow out of being a dad before. This was just another case in a long line of father failures. Sebastian was not going to be a cliché. He wasn't going to kick, scream, break things, or drink himself into a stupor, just because his father was an idiot. He hated to be a cliché, a Cat's-in-the-Cradle-sappy-TV-movie-fucking-cliché. The poor little rich boy with daddy issues.

Dropping the baseball ornament in his hand on the coffee table, he strode out of the room, hitting the light switch on the way out. The Christmas tree still glowed in the corner, but Sebastian didn't notice.

This time his phone chirped with another text from Blaine. At first he wanted to ignore it, but then he berated himself for thinking of doing that. None of this was Blaine's fault, why should he ignore him or worry him? If he followed these stupid first impulses, his fucking father was going to ruin his life.

_BLAINE: Coop and I had to tackle Uncle Willy and wrestle it out of his hands, but the scotch is now in my closet upstairs. And no, that does not mean you get to drink it tomorrow_

_BLAINE: You there?_

_SEBASTIAN: I'm here_

_BLAINE: So how does the tree look?_

_SEBASTIAN: Fine_

BLAINE: _Was it hard to put together?_

_SEBASTIAN: Kind of_

_BLAINE: What do you mean?_

_SEBASTIAN: Forget it. Hold on, I'll be back._

He texted as he strode up the stairs, two or three steps at a time. Once in his room, he grabbed his overnight bag from the bed, yanked out a pair of jeans and a sweater and changed quickly. As he turned to leave, his eyes landed on the door to the custom built, soundproofed music room his parents had added-on to his room so they wouldn't have to hear him play at all hours of the night. He was tempted to lock himself up in there like he did as a child when his parents were fighting too loudly, to listen to Eminem or play a raucous song on the piano to drown out his disappointment.

"Yes, we're officially adults now, and we should recognize that our parents are human and not perfect," Blaine had said.

Sebastian felt like he could write a paper for his Stanford lit professor on why that was an understatement. He hurried down the stairs to the garage, grabbing the keys to his father's Mercedes.

_BLAINE: Hey my mom's calling me. Be back later…_

He could go to his Aunt Laura's, but he wasn't sure he could handle the cousins today. And he knew his grandmother would see right through him and start fuming about his father. After her heart issues last year, he didn't want to be the cause of anything stressful for her – especially on Christmas.

_BLAINE: I'm back. So is it good to be back at your house again after Stanford? It felt so good when I got home, though I guess being abroad makes you feel even more removed from home._

_BLAINE: You there?_

Sebastian's foot gunned the Mercedes down the interstate.

"Karaoke time!" Aunt Martha shouted. "Blaine and Cooper you are up first of course!"

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=bg8fCyRbv_I

_Oh yeah..._  
 _Candles burnin' low,_  
 _Lots of mistletoe._  
 _Lots of snow and ice,_  
 _Everywhere we go._  
 _Choirs singin' carols,_  
 _Right outside my door._

_All these things and more_   
_(All these things and more)_   
_That's what Christmas means to me my love_   
_(That's what Christmas means to me my love)_

_BLAINE: You there? Where did you go?_

_SEBASTIAN: I was driving_

_BLAINE: Lucky you. We sang karaoke and Cooper was so pitchy, but he couldn't hear it at all in all this noise._

_BLAINE: Where did you go? Why aren't you getting cozy by the fire with a movie? I really think you need to give "It's A Wonderful Life" another try_

_SEBASTIAN: I'm at the lake_

_BLAINE: Oh, you're venturing into the frozen tundra!_

_SEBASTIAN: I have a lot of time to kill_

_BLAINE: But can you even see the lake with all the snow we've had lately? It's got to be frozen over and covered with snow, right?_

_SEBASTIAN: I can see some of it_

_BLAINE: I'd go to Otterbein, it's so much closer  
_

_SEBASTIAN: Too small, crowded_

_BLAINE: I doubt it is crowded on Christmas Eve_

_SEBASTIAN: Alum lake is where I go_

_BLAINE: But how can you enjoy it when you can't see it? Otterbein is just kept up better in the winter.  
_

_SEBASTIAN: I'm here – it's a moot point now. Enough with the badgering_

_SEBASTIAN: Are you still there?_

_BLAINE: Yes_

_BLAINE: Are you mad at me for something? Did I do something?_

Blaine's phone rang. He ducked into the hall closet.

"I'm sorry, B. I'm really sorry. It's not you."

"Seb, what's wrong? You sound…"

"He's not coming."

Blaine was stunned into silence.

"I got the chicken-shit text while you were wrestling Uncle Willy for the scotch."

"Oh Seb, I'm so sorr…"

"DON'T be sorry for me, okay? It's not the end of the world. I'm the one who should be sorry – for being an asshole and taking it out on you. But I'm going to be fine. I came out to the lake to get some air and it's good to be out here. It's not like he's never flaked out on me before. I'm used to it. I'm fine." Sebastian kicked some small snow covered rocks on the walking path.

"You're not being an asshole. And I'm not pitying you, I'm just sorry that this Christmas has been screwed up by your shithead dad."

Blaine very rarely swore, and Sebastian heard heat in his voice. It was kind of comforting that Blaine was pissed off at his dad.

"Whatever. It's not worth talking about more."

"Ok…but get back here soon, I want to see you."

"Go to your house? No - I'm in such an evil mood, I would probably embarrass you by being a vile guest."

Blaine's eyes widened. "You can't spend Christmas Eve by yourself in that big house."

Sebastian shrugged. "It's fine. I've done it before."

"What? When?"

"Our junior year. My mom had an exhibition in Japan that year so I stayed here. My dad was at Sally's and I didn't want to deal with my Aunt's family."

"Oh." Blaine thought about how cold and calculating Sebastian had been that year with Kurt and all the other New Directions. This explained some of it.

"Go back to your family, enjoy the combined insanity of Cooper and Uncle Willy. I just need some time to cool off."

"Cool off at our house, I'll make everyone leave you alone."

"Blaine, I don't want your parents and Cooper and especially your Uncle Willy and all that extended family asking questions about why I'm suddenly appearing. And I'm not going to make you lie, choir boy."

"I can lie," Blaine said stoutly.

"No," Sebastian said firmly. "I'll see you for Christmas dinner tomorrow night. I'm gonna go now. I'll call you later."

"Wait! No, Seb, just no. You're not spending Christmas Eve and Christmas morning alone on my watch."

"Blaine, I am not a prisoner for you to guard. No means no."

"Can I at least come to see you?"

Sebastian paused. He didn't want to see anyone else, but seeing Blaine could be… really good. "How could you? You've got all that family there…"

"I'll get Coop to cover for me. I don't need to tell him what happened, I'll make something up."

Sebastian relented. "It's okay, you can tell him about what a prick my father's being. Coop'll get it, he's had rows with your dad before. And you're a terrible liar, so just tell him because if you don't he'll end up getting it out of you anyway."

Blaine's relief was palpable. "Ok, good - I can be at your house in 25 or 30 minutes, maybe 20 if I can tell fend off Cooper's inevitable follow up questions..."

"Blaine, I'm not bleeding. You don't need to rush out of there. And why don't I meet you halfway somewhere? I know you'll get all weepy on me if you see the big house you think I rattle around in on Christmas Eve … I can't deal with you trying to conceal your horror."

Blaine sighed. "I'm not that bad – but okay, do you want to meet in the Westerville Town Square by the Christmas tree? We can get an early dinner."

"Blaine, you can't eat with me, your mom has been rubbing herbs on that goose for days. I swear your dad was getting jealous ."

"Well I can get a drink and I'll watch you eat."

"Well that's just creepy."

"Shut up and meet me under the tree at 5:00."

"Fine."

"Call me if you need anything before then."

"Not suicidal, Blaine."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Bye, Seb. See you at 5."

"Bye."

* * *

Cooper sang along loudly with Uncle Willy, who was leading the room in a rousing rendition of 'Love is All Around' from _Love Actually_.

Blaine yanked on his brother's sleeve and dragged him to the pantry.

"What's up, little brother?"

"It's Sebastian…his dad cancelled on him."

"Oh no…"

"He won't come…"

"Go get him."

"I'm going – just cover for me…"

"Of course."

"He doesn't want anyone…"

"…to know. Got it."

Blaine gave his brother a grateful look and fled for his car keys.

* * *

And there you have it! This was for some of you who enjoy a little angst with your coffee (along with a shot of Courvoisier – DORI). If you're feeling worried, don't be – the next chapter is almost pure fluff. SPOILER: Blaine cheers up Seb (of course) and they have a very Merry Christmas Eve!

Please keep reviewing, as it helps keep us going! Would love to hear what you think of Grandma, another new original character; if Seb's angst and Grandma!Seb is staying within your headcanon of him; if Blaine falling in love is believable; and anything else you particularly liked or disliked!


	8. Town Tree & an Anderson Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to a Very Fluffy Christmas (once you get past the first scene). Blaine and Seb meet under the Christmas tree in town.
> 
> We get to see an Anderson Christmas Eve, which means once again, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson join us, played by Chris Noth, Catherine Zeta Jones. Coop is there too, of course.

Sebastian arrived a little early, found street parking easily right next to the giant town tree and sat in his car to keep out of the cold. He stared at a group of carolers several blocks away. His gaze wandered over to the town tree, resplendent with lights and sparkling with oversized ornaments. He felt foolish about the artificial, FrontGate tree back at his home. _An artificial tree, how appropriate_ he thought darkly. At least the town tree was real.

He turned on the radio. Unsurprisingly and somewhat annoyingly, every station was playing Christmas carols.

He stopped on a station when he heard the voices of the Vienna Boys Choir singing, which reminded him of the year he sang in a boys choir at the American church in Paris:

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=UeArqQw-aVA

_Silent night_  
 _Holy night_  
 _All is calm, all is bright_  
: _Round young virgin mother and child_  
 _Holy infant so tender and mild_  
 _Sleep in heavenly peace  
_ _Sleep in heavenly peace_

He thought of how Blaine would love this arrangement. Blaine loved Christmas. Blaine practically personified Christmas – or at least the best of it. Sebastian would be damned if he let his father ruin his first Christmas with Blaine. Sebastian Smythe, big, bad, slushy throwing bully, was not going to be that kind of cliché, either – he was not going to be a fucking Scrooge because his father was an asshole.

Sebastian pulled the keys and got out of the Mercedes quickly, hoping the cold would numb the hot tears he had to wipe away.

Blaine started searching the sidewalk for Sebastian several blocks away from the Town Square. His heart ached when he spotted six foot two Sebastian actually looking diminutive, silhouetted against the enormous Christmas tree. No one else would know, but Blaine knew his posture was too rigid, his face too carefully composed.

Blaine parked and climbed out of his car. "Hey," he said softly, unsure if Sebastian wanted a hug or not.

"Hey." Sebastian looked up at him and gave him a half smile. "Where is your scarf and your hat?"

Blaine shrugged. "Oh. I guess I forgot them."

"It's freezing, I'll get you a hat." Sebastian said. Not noticing that he had also forgotten a hat for himself, Sebastian was intent on taking care of Blaine. He opened his car and rummaged in the glove compartment for the spare beanie caps he kept in there. Then he remembered his car was at Stanford and this was the glove compartment of his father's "spare" Mercedes, containing nothing but a tire gauge, registration card, and the car manual.

"Fuck, of course he doesn't have any," he spat out. He drew his hand out, irrationally cursing his stupid father for not carrying spare beanies in his car. Blaine was going to be cold because of his goddamned, shitty, sorry excuse for a fucking father. It was the last straw and his blood began to boil. He focused all of his energy into keeping himself under control. He slammed the glove compartment closed and shut the car door too hard. He leaned back against it in silence, muscles tensed, head bowed, staring too hard at his expensive boots.

"It's okay," said Blaine, touching his arm lightly.

Sebastian tensed up even more and didn't move. If he moved he might cry - and damn it, his dad wasn't worth crying over.

Blaine tucked his head over Sebastian's shoulder, reaching up to wrap his arms around him tightly. His eyes filled with tears.

A few hot tears dripped down Sebastian's face as he let Blaine hold him close. Blaine held on to him as if he were afraid Sebastian would blow away. With a few shaky breaths Sebastian let himself settle into Blaine's arms, slowly wrapping his arms around Blaine to reassure him that he was going to be okay, resting his chin on the soft wool of his coat and not wanting to let go until at least next week.

But eventually he pulled away, arms still around Blaine's waist, winking too hard. He took a deep, weary breath. "I guess we should go get me something to eat."

Blaine had never seen Sebastian look so...brave. It also hit him that this was probably just one of many, many times Sebastian had to be brave after his father disappointed him. Blaine wiped the tears from eyes with one hand and squeezed Sebastian's arm with the other. "Can we go for a walk first? It's so pretty in downtown Westerville this time of year." He knew instinctively that Sebastian needed more air and comforting before he could be persuaded to go back to the Andersons' house.

Sebastian nodded and Blaine linked their arms as they began making their way around the town square. They walked in silence, both of them reflecting on the day and the evening.

After a minute of that, Sebastian didn't want to reflect anymore – his father had ruined a day that had included introducing Blaine to Nina. He had wasted half of Christmas Eve trying to be the better man for a father who didn't deserve it. None of this was worth dwelling on, because it would only remind him that he was an idiot for letting it happen.

The group of carolers saved him from his thoughts, appearing in the far corner of the square, their voices floating across the cold night air:

_[author's note: listen to the carolers here: youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=agL18eXo7R8_  


_Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely_  
 _Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely_  
 _Each year you bring to me delight, meaning in the Christmas night  
_ _Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely_

As the carolers sang, Sebastian stared at the towering tree across the square. Then he looked down as Blaine unhooked his arm and slipped his hand into Sebastian's pocket, intertwining their fingers. Blaine squeezed his hand and looked at him with empathy, and caring, and yes, it was unmistakable…love. And no, there was not a drop of pity in his big hazel eyes.

_Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging_  
 _Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging_  
 _Your boughs are green, in sommers glow and do not fade in winters snow_  
 _Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, with faithful leaves unchanging_  


Blaine inwardly blessed the carolers. Music was so good for Sebastian's soul – Blaine had seen it at work on several occasions.

[](http://imgur.com/17DzGfg)

_Each year you bring to me delight, meaning in the Christmas night_  
 _Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely_

Sebastian looked again at the majestic tree across the way and then back at Blaine. Blaine, who left his family on Christmas Eve to come hug him. Blaine, whose heart was two sizes too big and who chose to share it with him, of all people. If Christmas was love, as the cliche went, well then Christmas was Blaine; at least to Sebastian. And Sebastian would never, ever, let anything his father did screw with his love for Blaine, and any love Blaine had for him.

No, he was not going to let his father ruin Christmas.

They made their way around the large square and reached the tree once again. They both looked up at the large star that shone at the top.

The female soloist and a guitar playing companion amongst the carolers started "A Christmas Waltz" (http://youtube.com/watch?v=FVaFoAIVzok)

_Frosted windowpanes_  
 _Candles gleaming inside_  
 _Painted candy canes on the tree_

_Santa's on his way_  
 _He's filled his sleigh with things_  
 _Things for you and for me_

Blaine knew what lines were next and realized with sudden force that there was no one he'd rather be with at that moment .

_It's that time of year_  
 _When the world falls in love_  
 _Every song you hear seems to say_  
 _"Merry Christmas_  
 _May your new year's dreams come true"_

_And this song of mine_  
 _In three quarter time_  
 _Wishes you and yours_  
 _The same thing, too_

They both looked up at the tree and the stars peeping through the highest branches. As Sebastian's gaze dropped from the star to Blaine's handsome profile, he thought of what his grandmother said: "You better tell him you love him. So when he's ready, he knows you're waiting."

He looked back at the star at the top of the tree and swallowed. Blaine was trying to take care of him tonight…it didn't seem like the right time…or was it? He turned to look at Blaine again and was surprised to find Blaine was already looking at him. Blaine had a beautiful look on his face, very similar to the adoring look he wore when they returned to their room from the Top of the Mark.

As he looked at Sebastian, Blaine was surprised - almost frightened - at the depth of his feeling for him. It was one thing for him to appreciate this year how much Sebastian was willing to do to take care of him. It was another thing to recognize that he very much wanted to be able to take care of Sebastian in return. But it was something entirely different to realize just how much he cared. Blaine suddenly knew that he didn't want to just take care of Sebastian – he wanted to love him. He would do anything if this brave, incredible man would just let him all the way inside his heart. He wanted so much to give Sebastian the love he so truly deserved and to be the one Sebastian loved with his whole heart in return.

Sebastian took Blaine's other hand.

A car honked. "HEY YOU GUYS! BLAINE!"

Blaine and Sebastian spun around to see Puck leaning out the window of an SUV pulling up next to them. A smiling Jake Puckerman was at the wheel. "Hey guys," he said laughing, forcing his brother to sit down so he could see them. "Merry Christmas!"

Blaine gave them a wide smile. "Thanks, man! What are you guys up to?"

Sebastian gave them both a half smile and a nod.

"Pickin' up the Chinese food, 'natch," Puck said to Blaine. "What are you guys doing out? Isn't this the night the Gentiles are huddled around the eggnog and stuff?"

Blaine answered quickly. "Sebastian's staying with us this Christmas – we're just here on an errand. We're headed home right now, though."

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Well we won't keep you then," said Jake politely. "Have a great time with your family. Hopefully we can all get together in the next week, or at the very least we'll see you at Mike's New Year's Party, then?"

"Definitely," Blaine said with a smile.

"Alright then, later dudes!" Puck said, giving Blaine a fistbump. He saluted Sebastian. "Merry Christmas, Cap'n Warbler!"

Jake rolled his eyes and jerked a thumb towards Puck. "He's had a little of the Manchievitz, he says he likes to drink it on Christmas Eve to reaffirm his faith."

Sebastian gave them a small smile and an amused nod. Puck nothing if not entertaining.

"Merry Christmas! Bye!" called Jake as they drove away.

"Bye!" Blaine called after them, also blessing Puck for making Sebastian smile, even a little.

Sebastian turned to him with a smirk. "Okay, maybe you can lie a little."

Blaine grinned at him proudly. "See?"

Sebastian smiled. "Alright, I know now to watch out for your deception."

Blaine's mind wandered back to his train of thought before the Puckermans showed, and he suddenly felt at a loss for words.

There was an uncomfortable pause. Sebastian was the first to recover. "Now, can I eat already? I apparently have reduced verbal dexterity due to malnutrition."

Blaine replied demurely, "Grandmother Fondeur says presents first." He ducked into his trunk and pulled out a large box, beautifully wrapped with pearl trimmed satin ribbon. He thrust it in Sebastian's hands.

"We were going to exchange gifts tomorrow," Sebastian objected.

"I couldn't wait. And gift giving shouldn't be about reciprocating. I don't care if you give me anything in return or not," Blaine said artlessly.

Sebastian laughed. "And now we're back to you being a terrible liar."

Blaine snatched the package back. "So do you want your gift or not?"

"Well since it's not in a gift bag…" Sebastian chuckled, using his long reach to pluck it from Blaine, "hand it over."

Blaine laughed, eager to give it up. "It's actually not anything big and exciting. You are impossible to shop for, you know. You're so picky. And what do you buy for the guy who has everything, and who buys everything he wants the moment he wants it?"

Sebastian chuckled, "You don't buy for that guy, he sounds like a spoiled brat."

Blaine smiled. "Just open it."

Sebastian quickly took off the ribbon, paper and lid to the box and smiled as he pulled out an embroidered Royal Conservatory hoodie.

Blaine gave him a playful grin. "I broke it in for you, I wore it for a week."

Sebastian gave it a sniff and smiled fondly. "Yep, it smells like you."

"Do you like it?" Blaine looked up with a grateful expression. "It's just…I feel like you've spent a lot of this year taking care of me. I want you to know I always want to take care of you, too."

"You already take care of me, Killer." Sebastian said, tucking the hoodie under one arm so he could put his other arm around Blaine. "Who listened to my stressed-out-little-rich-boy whining all quarter? Who must defend me to his friends all the time?" He winked at Blaine. "Yes, I know they think I'm Satan." He stuck out his lower lip. "And who is here on Christmas minding this little lost orphan?" He gave Blaine a little side-hug. "But yes, I definitely like it – it's flawless, just like you. It will make me feel like you're taking care of me even when you're dead asleep in another time zone."

Blaine felt a twinge, thinking about leaving Sebastian again.

Sebastian also looked a bit grim at his own statement. He shook it off. "But don't think this means you get to keep the other hoodies you've stolen from me." He mused, "Ah, Blaine Anderson, now both a thief _and_ a liar – my work with you is almost done."

Blaine looked at him slyly. "You can add manipulation to that list of skills I am honing, because I conveniently left part two of your gift back at the house. So now you have to come home with me for Christmas eve." His look was now pleading.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and sighed. "We went over this…"

Blaine put both hands on Sebastian's arm. "Just come home with me," he pleaded, looking up imploringly. "Please? I really want you to be a part of our Christmas. I can smuggle you into my room during the family party if you want and Coop and I can bring you dinner. That goose really smelled incredible when I left! And my dad kind of kicks everyone out by 9 and we do this really nice Anderson family Christmas Eve ritual where we read out loud and we sing around the piano, and then we hang our stockings and my dad scolds us to go to bed even though Cooper has always had too much sugar and doesn't fall asleep for at least two hours which means he bounces into my room and he ends up falling asleep in my bed and kicking me all night. And then Christmas morning is always so nice…my dad is in the best mood he is in all year and my mom makes this incredible breakfast strata, and Cooper gets all excited when we open his presents and my mom always makes these really cute oohing and aahing sounds when she opens hers, and my dad forgets to open his presents because he's more interested in watching other people open theirs, and then we usually reminisce about other Christmases and we always tell the story of when..."

Sebastian held up a hand to stop him. "Okay, okay, okay – you've officially filibustered and puppy-dog-eyed me into it. Just stop talking and I will go."

"Oh I'm so glad!" Blaine looked up with affection, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's waist, in spite of the paper, ribbon and box Sebastian was still holding on to.

"Okay, Snoopy," Sebastian said, wriggling free to dispose of the wrapping in a nearby trashcan.

They climbed into the Anderson station wagon. Blaine started the car, smiling fondly at the sight of Sebastian folding the hoodie carefully in his lap.

"You're really just coming with me because you want part two of your present, aren't you?"

"Bingo," Sebastian said with a smirk.

Blaine rolled his eyes and they drove past the snow banks towards home. Sebastian looked at the town tree in the rearview mirror until it was out of sight.

* * *

Blaine and Sebastian closed the front door quietly and were tiptoeing across the hall towards the stairs when Cooper spotted them through the archway to the living room. He ran over and tackled Sebastian with an enormous embrace, greeting him breathlessly: "Sebastian…"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Coop, let him go and stop trying to milk this moment to use as an acting choice later."

As Cooper dragged them into the party, Sebastian chuckled and said to Blaine, "So now that he knows my pathetic backstory, I'm going to get those suffocating hugs that I thought were reserved only for you?"

"Your backstory is not pathetic. But yes…welcome to the family," Blaine chuckled.

"I knew I should have stayed home with Ebenezer," Sebastian replied, rolling his eyes.

Blaine was relieved to see that Sebastian seemed to have a reasonably good time for the remainder of the party. Most of the relatives were too tipsy to know whether or not they had met Blaine's tall young friend earlier in the evening or not. Sebastian chose a seat next to Uncle Willy at dinner and they looked like they were making an endless number of inappropriate jokes during their side conversations.

As had become customary over the years, the relatives began to bid their farewells immediately after dessert. When the last of the guests were gone, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson went upstairs to change their clothes while the catering company cleaned up the party. Sitting down next to Sebastian, who was nodding off on the sofa, Blaine explained again about an Anderson Christmas Eve. "Usually Coop and I don't bother to change, we would just eat extra dessert, pinch and shake the presents under the tree and call our parents to come down once the catering staff are gone. When he was a teenager, Coop used to sneak beers before we'd call them," he laughed. "Then they come down and we read our bits from the Christmas books, sing the carols, and hang our stockings."

Cooper approached them, rolling up his sleeves. "So for now, we have a little time to kill," he said, ruffling Blaine's hair to a significantly fluffier state. Blaine pummeled him for it as Cooper began to stretch and yawn ostentatiously, saying: "So I guess I'll go take a nap. Which means I'll be going upstairs. And closing the door. And turning on my white noise machine. So I won't be able to hear anything outside my door. And the folks and I won't come down until you call us. And the catering staff never go into the study. Or the media room. And there are locks on both of those rooms." He winked at them and turned to head upstairs.

Sebastian was still falling asleep on the couch. His head jerked up. "What? What's going on?" he asked sleepily.

"Nothing," Blaine answered hastily, blushing a deep shade of red. "He's just going upstairs to change," he glared at his brother, "into a less obnoxious person!"

Sebastian was still fighting sleep, desperately trying to stay awake for Blaine's sake. It felt like a losing battle. "Blaine, didn't you say earlier tonight that we have a little time now before the family stuff begins?" He was thinking that laying down for just a few minutes on that really comfortable sofa in the media room was in order.

"Yes," Blaine replied, feeling sorry for exhausted Sebastian. He'd had quite a day, after all. He tried hard to keep the disappointment out of his voice. "Do you want to lay down for a bit? You're nodding off, Seb."

Sebastian was very drowsy, but he could still always detect when Blaine sounded disappointed. He remembered Blaine wanted to give him part two of his gift, so he shook himself and stood up. "What? And miss a minute of an Anderson Christmas Eve? No way." He was still very tired, but motivated himself to rally, the way he would at school when it was 2AM in the morning and he was still not finished studying. He'd been known to study standing up to keep himself from falling asleep. "If we have a little extra time, what I want is coffee. I think I saw a bottle of Courvoisier in your dad's liquor cabinet. And where is this alleged "part-two" of my gift? What kind of elf are you, Killer? I'm replacing you with Will Ferrell. Hand it over."

Blaine looked at him with affection, touched by Sebastian's effort to please him. "I'll get it, but again it's not anything too thrilling." He ducked under the Christmas tree to retrieve it.

Sebastian he settled back down on the sofa and couldn't help but enjoy the view of Blaine's backside. _Merry Christmas, indeed._

Blaine brought out a small gift that was again exquisitely wrapped. He tossed it in Sebastian's lap and said, "I'll be right back, let me get your coffee!"

Sebastian called after him, "Don't worry about the Courvoisier!" He was willing to sacrifice his shot to get caffeine into his veins as quickly as possible. He stood up again and shook his limbs to get his blood pumping, again feeling like it was Finals Week at Stanford.

Blaine came hurrying back with a bottle of Starbucks Frappuccino mocha. "Sorry, they had already put away the coffee pots - this is all I could find."

Sebastian took it from him. "Perfect – caffeine _and_ sugar," he said, drinking it down valiantly.

Blaine knew Sebastian hated sugary coffee drinks. He watched him with a tenderly sympathetic look on his face, feeling that Christmas shouldn't be so much effort for Sebastian.

Sebastian took up the small box again. "Okay, let me see what the one and only Blaine Anderson has gorgeously wrapped up this time." He unwrapped the package carefully and found a box containing a single homemade CD. He spoke first without thinking. "Killer, if you laid down all your best covers from the last couple of years in that recording studio at your school, I think might start fangirling right here in your parents' living room."

Blaine blushed, "No, that's not what it is."

Sebastian tried not to look disappointed. His mind jumped next to a mix CD – which would also be a sweet gift, if not as personal. Then he felt bad when realized that if it was a mix CD, he probably had already hurt Blaine's feelings.

Blaine explained earnestly, "I did make it in the recording studio at school, but they aren't covers. They are a collection of the best songs I've composed over the last few years. You've heard a few of them, but 9 of the 12 tracks are songs no one has ever heard (except the sound engineers at the RC, of course). I wanted you to be the first to hear them, because you are always pestering me to share more of my stuff with you. And because I know you'll be honest with me about if they're good or not, and how I might make them better."

The usually eloquent Sebastian Smythe was speechless for a minute and his jaw dropped open. He looked at Blaine incredulously. "Blaine, that is…perfection. Best gift I've ever gotten, hands down." He looked around the room. "Where is the CD player in here?"

"Oh no, I forgot, we don't have one!" Blaine said. "My dad went 100% Bluetooth/Ipad docking station to get rid of his CD collection and make room for his scotch and cigars."

"Well, we'll have to go out to one of the cars," Sebastian said, getting up.

"But we shouldn't leave the catering staff, in case they have a question," Blaine said worriedly.

Sebastian pointed to the piano. "How about I hear the live version of your favorite?"

Blaine nodded, looking slightly nervous. "Okay."

Sebastian caught the look on his face and was surprised, because he knew that Blaine was never nervous before performing.

"Well my favorite is the first track. Maybe it will help you sometimes when you're feeling down about whether you'll reach all your ambitious goals, or if you're feeling lonely on your way to the top. It's a song about supporting someone you love." Blaine was too embarrassed to share that he had been thinking of Sebastian when he composed it:

_[author's note: to hear my favorite Darren song that Blaine wrote for Seb, go to YoutubeDOTcom/watch?v=HUquTr3Tcv0 &list=PL9D80C21E9A98E001&index=3 - hope you love it as much as I do.]_

_I've been alone_  
Surrounded by darkness  
I've seen how heartless  
The world can be 

_I've seen you crying_  
 _You felt like it's hopeless_  
 _I'll always do my best_  
 _To make you see_

_Baby, you're not alone_  
 _'Cause you're here with me_  
 _And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_  
 _'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_  
 _And you know it's true_  
 _It don't matter what'll come to be_  
 _Our love is all we need to make it through..._

Blaine looked up finally to look at Sebastian, who was sitting forward in his seat but listening with his eyes closed, his expression serious.

_Now I know it ain't easy_  
But it ain't hard trying  
Everytime I see you smiling  
And I feel you so close to me...  
And you tell me: 

_Baby, you're not alone_  
 _'Cause you're here with me_  
 _And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_  
 _'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_  
 _And you know it's true_  
 _It don't matter what'll come to be_  
 _Our love is all we need to make it through..._

_When Blaine looked again, Sebastian was looking at him and wearing the gentle, reassuring smile he used when he was trying to bolster Blaine._

_I still have trouble_  
 _I trip and stumble_  
 _Trying to make sense of things sometimes..._

_I look for reasons_  
 _But I don't need 'em_  
 _All I need is to look in your eyes_  
 _And I realize..._

_Baby, I'm not alone_  
 _'Cause you're here with me_  
 _And nothing's ever gonna take us down_  
 _'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_  
 _And you know it's true_  
 _It don't matter what'll come to be_  
 _Our love is all we need to make it through..._

_Oh, 'cause you're here with me_  
 _And nothing's ever gonna bring us down_  
 _Cause nothing, nothing, nothing_  
 _Can keep me from lovin' you_  
 _And you know it's true_  
 _It don't matter what'll come to be_  
 _You know our love is all we need_

_Our love is all we need_  
 _To make it through.._

It took every bit of impulse control Sebastian had to not to walk over and kiss Blaine and profess his love for him right then and there. But Blaine looked so preoccupied with doubt about his music that Sebastian didn't dare.

Blaine turned from the keyboard, propped an elbow on the top of the piano and leaned his head against his hand. He looked at the reflection in the glossy lid for a few moments, needing a few more seconds before he dared to look up Sebastian and gauge his reaction.

[](http://imgur.com/EWc8Pqt)

Sebastian got up and put his hands on Blaine's shoulders. "You're going to still write me good letters when you're touring the world with all this, right?"

Blaine looked up with eyes full of hope and fear. "You really liked it?"

"'Like' does not begin to describe how kick-ass I think that song is." Sebastian said, looking more sincere than Blaine had ever seen him. Then he teased, "You're lucky I am a prince of a guy, otherwise I would run off and take this to the first record label I could find and pass it all this off as mine," he said as he waved the CD in the air.

Blaine gave him a shaky grin.

"Mr. Blaine," a young woman called, peeking out from the swinging kitchen door. "We're leaving now. Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Ella!" Blaine called cheerfully, running over to give her a hug.

When she was gone, he turned to Sebastian. "Come on, now we can go get everyone!"

He chased upstairs, pulling an amused Sebastian by the hand. Blaine pounded with both fists on Cooper's door, shouting, "COOP! It's time!"

Cooper opened the door almost immediately, smiling widely, eyes sparkling. He shoved past them and headed down the hall past Blaine's room, Blaine hot on his heels and Sebastian striding more slowly behind them, chuckling.

Cooper and Blaine pounded on their parents' door, then burst in without waiting for an answer, calling "They're gone! It's time!" Sebastian waited politely at the door, peeking in to see Mrs. Anderson, now in a more comfortable looking dress, sitting in her rocking chair. Blaine jumped in his mother's lap and snatched away her Kindle. "It's time!" he declared again, kissing her cheek. She rubbed the back of his neck, her eyes shining. Blaine jumped up, taking her by the hand to follow Cooper, who had pulled his father up and was pushing him by the shoulders. Cooper said loudly, "Come on Pops, I know you aren't sick of the old Christmas Eve routine yet. In fact I think you're getting more sentimental with old age. Next thing we know you'll be writing 'Memoirs of a CEO Father.' Blaine glanced at Sebastian, knowing he was putting on a brave smile as he thought about his own father. To his delight, his mother squeezed Sebastian's arm as she passed him waiting politely by the door.

Blaine dropped behind her and he caught Sebastian's hand, giving it a squeeze before dragging him down the stairs. Sebastian cast off his despondence as watched Blaine, who was once again looking like a kid. He made Sebastian forget all of his cares when he looked like that.

When they reached the living room, Mrs. Anderson sat down at the piano and Cooper and Blaine stood behind her, looking impish. Sebastian sat down on the sofa despite Blaine's urging to join them at the piano. He was content to observe, being more comfortable being an onlooker to a happy family scene.

As Mrs. Anderson, Cooper and Blaine broke into a sweet rendition of "Joy to the World," Mr. Anderson opened the liquor cabinet and poured himself a scotch. Then he caught Sebastian's eye and asked quietly, "Would you like one? Glenfiddich."

"You have no idea how much," Sebastian said, taking it gratefully.

Mr. Anderson settled down on the sofa next to Sebastian.

Blaine almost skipped a verse. His father had not sat in a living room seat outside his armchair in 18 years. And he had most definitely had never, ever, offered any of Blaine's other friends a scotch.

Cooper grinned at his little brother and they moved on to "Christmas is Coming," and "Deck the Halls." Blaine sang a droll rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" as a solo. Mrs. Anderson sang solo on "Angels We Have Heard on High."

Before each song Blaine beckoned to Sebastian to join them but was waved off. Mr. Anderson and Sebastian seemed pleased to nurse their scotch and fondly watch the performance. They didn't say a word to each other; both were content instead to just sit in comfortable silence.

Blaine sat down to play accompaniment for Cooper, who sang "Go Tell It on the Mountain" with his mother, his arm around her waist.

Blaine turned the page for the next song, but then turned to the sofa, crooking his finger to summon Sebastian. "I refuse to keep playing unless you come and sing with us. Your voice is too good to not at least harmonize with us," he said sternly. "You were Captain of the Warblers, for goodness' sake!"

"Okay, okay, okay," Sebastian gave him a nod. He got up from the sofa to stand next to a beaming Cooper, who couldn't resist saying, "Once a Warbler, always a Warbler."

They sang "The Twelve Days of Christmas," "Adeste Fideles," and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" before Blaine looked up at Sebastian and asked, "Will you sing this one with me as a duet?"

Sebastian smiled. "Only if you play it on your guitar like you did yesterday with Tina and Sam." Blaine got the guitar from the media room and their voices blended together warmly:

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=0k6fl8ps_DI

_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire_  
 _Jack Frost nipping at your nose_  
 _Yuletide carols being sung by a choir_  
 _And folks dressed up like Eskimos_

_Everybody knows a turkey and some_  
 _Mistletoe help to make the season bright_  
 _Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow_  
 _Will find it hard to sleep tonight_

_They know that Santa's on his way_  
 _He's loaded lots of toys and goodies_  
 _On his sleigh_  
 _And every mother's_  
 _Child is gonna spy to see if_  
 _Reindeer really know how to fly_

_And so, I'm offering this_  
 _Simple phrase to kids from_  
 _One to ninety-two_  
 _Altho' it's been said many times_  
 _Many ways_  
 _"Merry Christmas to you"_

Blaine put his guitar down and turned to a page in the Christmas song book, looking to Sebastian with hopeful eyes. "Will you sing this one as a solo, the way you said you did for the Mixed Company holiday concerts?"

Sebastian looked reluctant.

"Please?" Blaine beseeched, widening his eyes even more.

"But I'm used to an acapella arrangement, not piano."

"It won't matter, you're just making excuses. I really want to hear you sing this. PLEASE?" Blaine tugged on his sleeve and stuck out his lower lip.

Cooper said, "Come on Seb, spare us all of the painful Blaine-begging. You know you're going to give in in the end anyway, I've seen you with him before, you are no more immune to those puppy dog eyes than the rest of us." "

Sebastian opened his mouth to argue again, when Mrs. Anderson spoke up. "Please Sebastian, you do have a lovely voice - I would like to hear you solo on this one." And without another word, Mrs. Anderson nudged Blaine off the piano bench and began to play, the Anderson brothers singing backing vocals to Sebastian:

youtube.com/watch?v=SxO3MvfkKp4  
 _Said the night wind to the little lamb,_  
 _Do you see what I see_  
 _Way up in the sky, little lamb,_  
 _Do you see what I see_  
 _A star, a star, dancing in the night_  
 _With a tail as big as a kite_  
 _With a tail as big as a kite_

_Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,_  
 _do you hear what I hear_  
 _Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy,_  
 _do you hear what I hear_  
 _A song, a song, high above the trees_  
 _With a voice as big as the sea_  
 _With a voice as big as the sea_

Cooper was fondly watching Blaine's admiring eyes for Sebastian more than he was watching the performance.

_Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king,_  
 _do you know what I know_  
 _In your palace warm, mighty king,_  
 _Do you know what I know_  
 _A Child, a Child shivers in the cold_  
 _Let us bring Him silver and gold_  
 _Let us bring Him silver and gold_  


_Said the king to the people everywhere,_  
 _Listen to what I say_  
 _Pray for peace, people everywhere!_  
 _Listen to what I say_  
 _The Child, the Child, sleeping in the night_  
 _He will bring us goodness and light_  
 _He will bring us goodness and light_

When he had finished, the Andersons applauded. Then Mrs. Anderson stood up and said, "Let's take a break." Blaine took Sebastian's hand and led him over to the sofa, where Mrs. Anderson was settling herself next to Mr. Anderson. Blaine sat down at their feet, encouraging Sebastian to sit beside him. Cooper had disappeared to the study, to fetch the Christmas books.

"Sebastian, we've been enjoying having you with us," Mrs. Anderson said warmly.

"And I've enjoyed being here," Sebastian said politely. "I've appreciated seeing all the different elements of an Anderson Christmas."

[](http://imgur.com/4KqEElq)

Mrs. Anderson replied kindly, "Well, I hope you don't consider yourself just an observer, we want you to be very much a part of it."

"That would be my privilege," Sebastian said with quiet respect.

Mr. Anderson gave a slight approving nod at this and Blaine's jaw dropped. Sebastian wasn't kidding when he said all parents loved him.

Mrs. Anderson smiled at both boys and said to Cooper, who had returned, "Did you say you wanted to do a different reading this year?"

"Yep," Cooper said. "The end of _The Gift of the Magi_ – the O. Henry story."

Blaine protested, "But you have to read about the Crachits' Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve!"

"Squirt, don't be such a fussy old lady."

"Don't call me that."

"I know you love O. Henry too, so what's wrong with changing it up?"

I don't want to change it up, it's tradition," Blaine said stubbornly.

Mr. Anderson was rolling his eyes. Mrs. Anderson said soothingly, "Boys…"

Sebastian spoke up. "Shall I read the Dickens?"

The whole family looked at him. "Of course!" Mrs. Anderson said. "Sebastian, that's the perfect solution."

Blaine looked at him with so much pride and joy that Sebastian thought about volunteering to read Oliver Twist as well.

The next part of the evening passed pleasantly, as they listened to each performer in turn:

Cooper read his piece more solemnly than Blaine or Sebastian expected:

_Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on the couch and put his hands under the back of his head and smiled._

_"Dell," said he, "let's put our Christmas presents away and keep 'em a while. They're too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose you put the chops on."_

_And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi._

Sebastian read his Dickens less formally and with more earnest expression than expected, causing Blaine to look at him with starry eyes:

_At last the dinner was all done, the cloth was cleared, the hearth swept, and the fire made up. The compound in the jug being tasted, and considered perfect, apples and oranges were put upon the table, and a shovel-full of chestnuts on the fire. Then all the Cratchit family drew round the hearth, in what Bob Cratchit called a circle, meaning half a one; and at Bob Cratchit's elbow stood the family display of glass. Two tumblers, and a custard-cup without a handle._

_These held the hot stuff from the jug, however, as well as golden goblets would have done; and Bob served it out with beaming looks, while the chestnuts on the fire sputtered and cracked noisily. Then Bob proposed: 'A Merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us!' Which all the family re-echoed._

_'God bless us every one!' said Tiny Tim, the last of all._

Blaine surprised no one with his charming and charismatic reading of the classic poem:

_He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,_  
 _And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself! _  
 _A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, _  
 _Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. _______

_He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,_  
 _And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk._  
 _And laying his finger aside of his nose,_  
 _And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!_

_He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,_  
 _And away they all flew like the down of a thistle._  
 _But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,_  
 _"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"_

After he finished, Blaine said to Sebastian, "And this is the best part of the night, because dad sings with us."

The group moved the the piano and Mrs. Anderson sat down to play with the four men in a semi circle behind her. They had saved for last the most tender of Christmas carols: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing," "The First Noel," "Away in a Manger," "O Little Town of Bethlehem," and finally Mr. Anderson sang the lead on "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear."

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=j8xiRbt6FOE

_It came upon the midnight clear,_  
 _That glorious song of old,_  
 _From angels bending near the earth_  
 _To touch their harps of gold_  
 _Peace on the earth, good will to men,_  
 _From heaven's all gracious King_  
 _The world in solemn stillness lay_  
 _To hear the angels sing._

By the last few songs, Blaine's arm found its way around Sebastian's waist. Sebastian smiled softly down at him and quietly drew his arm behind Blaine, putting his hand at the small of Blaine's back.

After they sang the last note, Mr. Anderson said, "Merry Christmas! Now off to bed you go."

"We have to hang the stockings!" Cooper reminded him.

"Fine, fine…just hurry up with it, your mother is tired," Mr. Anderson said mildly.

Sebastian watched as Cooper and Blaine eagerly waited for their mother to pull the stockings from a nearby drawer and distribute them. They were all exactly the same, plush red velvet with white embroidering: "Father," "Mother," "Cooper," "Blaine"

…and "Sebastian." Sebastian raised his eyebrows in surprise when Mrs. Anderson handed it to him. "Well of course you have to have an Anderson Family stocking," she said. "How else will Santa know to leave your gifts here?"

Blaine could not have loved his mother more than at that moment.

"Thank you," Sebastian said, looking down at the red velvet and running his thumb over his embroidered name.

Once the stockings were hung they headed upstairs to bed, Mrs. Anderson saying "Merry Christmas" and kissing the cheek of each boy before they ducked into their room, including a once again surprised Sebastian.

Closing the door behind him, Sebastian leaned against it and exhaled. He could feel his energy level dropping quickly, so he rapidly changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants, brushed his teeth and washed his face. When he came back out to the bedroom he was indeed very tired, but part of him didn't want the evening to end. He sat down in the window seat and fixed his gaze upon a star. He thought of the Andersons, and of Rob's family, and what he knew of Nick's family and Jeff's family and David's family, Sam's family, Santana's family and even Kurt Hummels' family. He thought of the pieces of family he had strewn about, his grandmother, the unremarkable aunt and cousins in Dayton, his mother and his substandard father. He wondered what he had done to deserve both the neglect of a father like his and the care of the Andersons all in the same lifetime. He also wondered what his fate would ultimately be when it came to matters of family. All quarter, he had been solving intricate engineering and calculus problems and analyzing complex pieces of literature and historical essays – yet he still could not entirely get his mind around the unfolding puzzle of his life.

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in," Sebastian said. He turned to see Blaine in his Brooks Brothers pajamas, looking adorable and tentative.

"Hey Killer, I thought you'd be in bed by now."

"I could say the same for you," Blaine said smiling, coming over and taking him by the hand to pull him on his feet. "I just wanted to tuck you in. Rob's mom did it for you at Thanksgiving, but my mom didn't get the memo – so I'm pinch hitting."

Sebastian Sebastian gave him a small but grateful smile. "I guess I am pretty tired."

"I bet," Blaine replied, pulling him towards the bed but then holding him at bay when he realized he hadn't pulled the covers back yet. Once he had yanked the bedding aside, he pushed at Sebastian's chest in the general direction of the bed until he fell backwards with a flop.

"Ugh…" Sebastian groaned. "Oh my god I didn't know I was this tired. Just turn out the light."

"You need to get under the covers for me to have officially tucked you in."

"It's okay, I'm good. Save youseff!" Sebastian slurred, his face buried in the mattress.

"Okay, you're officially sleep-drunk."

"What?"

"Cooper and I realized a long time ago that when anyone reaches a certain level of exhaustion, there are two ways you go – you either (1) become a sleep drunk, where you slur and ramble and act loopy until you collapse into sleep; or (2) become hyper-tired, where you act crazy and overactive until you pass out. Hypertired is what Cooper is right now, I can hear him playing video games next door."

" Okay…that was a lot of stuff you just said. "

Blaine chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I just need to roll over towards me so you can get inside the sheet and under the comforter. Can you do that?"

"Huh?"

"Don't give up on me now. ROLL," Blaine chuckled as he did what he could to help Sebastian along. He had to wrestle to eventually get him on the right side of the sheet and covers. "Now scoot up so your head can be on the pillow and so your feet won't be hanging off the end of the bed."

Sebastian's face was buried in the mattress. "Iss Ogood."

Blaine tickled his feet, causing him to move in the desired direction. "Aah! You're mean!" Sebastian moaned.

"I never said I would be as gentle as Rob's mom."

"Mean," Sebastian said, muffled by the pillow.

Blaine pulled the covers up and tucked them under his chin. Then he sat down next to him and touched his cheek lovingly. "There, you're all snug as a bug in a rug."

Sebastian was indeed in a kind of sleepy delirium. He slurred, "Blaine why you so good to me? Your whole family, they're so nice tomme. I been s'mean toopeepl an' I'cum fr'sucha mean'dad…"

"Shh, shh…" Blaine shushed him and stroked his soft hair. "We're good to you because you deserve it. But it's not time for talking about all that, Seb." He glanced at the clock. "It's bedtime so we just say good night."

"G'night" Sebastian murmured into the pillow. "Merry Christmas."

Blaine kissed his cheek tenderly, stood up, and headed to the door.

At the door he stopped to have one more look at the curled up form covered in the snowy duvet, a tousle of brown hair sticking out on top. He turned out the light. "Merry Christmas, Seb."

* * *

_Well, Christmas arrived early this year, yes? Blaine has FINALLY recognized what we knew all along – he's in love with Seb! Now if only these boys could scrape up some guts…let's see what lies in the road ahead! In the meantime, enjoy this. I'm working on Christmas Day but it's slow going for some reason, so don't necessarily expect a new chapter in 2 days again…but it will be up as soon as we deem it worthy of your energy and time!_

Thanks for all the kudos and reviews/comments…please keep them coming and as they are very helpful. Does Blaine still seem in character, Seb too? What was your favorite part? I know what your least favorite part was, of course…please don't tell Santa to leave a coal in my stocking for the Puckerman interruption :).


	9. OJ, Gifts, Sam's Art, and Richbastian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to a Very Fluffy Seblaine Christmas! Save a few Sebam feels, this is pretty much fluffy fun, including yet another gratuitous shirtless scene (yawn), Christmas!Cooper (which is really the ultimate form of Cooper), and more of Blaine's dad being Blaine's dad (Richard Anderson, played by Chris Noth)...look out, Sebastian! 
> 
> I promise to get more substantive in the next chapter.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Cooper and Blaine were standing and bouncing on Sebastian's bed.

"Oh my god…" Sebastian moaned, his eyes still screwed shut. He covered his head with a pillow, muffling his voice. "What the fuck?"

Blaine laughed, sitting down next to Sebastian and rubbing his back. "You're at my house. I'm Blaine. Blaine Anderson. It's Christmas morning and it's time to get up."

"Get up, get up, get up!" Cooper chirped, still bouncing on the other side of the bed. "It's time to go open presents, come on Sebby!"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT. And get out." Sebastian growled from under the pillow.

Blaine looked up at his brother. "Coop, what the heck are you doing, jumping on the bed with a mug? You're going to spill everywhere. Give that to me."

"It's a travel mug, Blainey! You and mom's beautiful million thread count guest room sheets are safe. You have press this thingy on it to get any juice to come out!" He bounced some more.

"Come on, Seb," Blaine said in an encouraging tone, "Everyone's waiting for you downstairs…"

"ARGH...your parents are up, too?" Sebastian sat up, his hair standing on end. 

[](http://imgur.com/pJqY1tC)

Blaine looked at him sympathetically. "I know you're tired, I'm so sorry. It's just Cooper's gotten us all in the habit of waking up early on Christmas morning. Did you even go to sleep last night, Coop?" He looked up as his brother. "It was the first Christmas Eve in ages where you didn't bounce into my bed at midnight and crash with me." He turned back to Sebastian. "Anyway, we have been up for an hour, all of us, making breakfast."

Sebastian looked at the clock. It was 8:30AM. "This is one Anderson Christmas tradition I cannot get behind." He rubbed his eyes and glanced at Blaine, who was looking cute in his blue pajamas. "So we eat in our pajamas?"

"Yep, Dad and mom are looking cozy in their jammies and bathrobes and are waiting for you downstairs, Seb !" Cooper interjected, bouncing some more. "Come on man, there's breakfast strata and strawberry danish and hot cinnamon buns and Blainers did a Starbucks run and found the Courvoisier so your alcoholic's coffee is waiting downstairs! Get your butt up and join us…Dad doesn't even make us sit at the table, it's buffet style while we open presents! "COME ON, YOU GUYS!" Cooper leapt off the bed and the top came flying off the travel mug, surprising Cooper so much he accidentally doused Sebastian and the floor in front of him with cold orange juice.

"JESUS CHRIST, COOP!" Sebastian bellowed, shaking like a wet dog.

Coop was trying really hard not to laugh. "Eek, sorry man, let me go get a towel."

Blaine was already halfway to the bathroom. "I'll get one to clean him up, you get one from downstairs to clean up the floor. Mom will have your head if you use one of the good bath towels on the floor for that much juice." In the bathroom he grabbed a washcloth and wet it quickly, and grabbed a second dry one as well. He returned to Sebastian who was a pathetic, sticky picture of exhaustion – he was falling back asleep as he leaned back on his hands.

"Oh Seb, I'm so sorry…he's such an idiot. Here…" Blaine helped Sebastian take off his shirt and began to blush as, inch my inch, the sticky t-shirt revealed an up-close and personal view of the toned, muscular shoulders, arms and chest that Blaine had been fantasizing about at bedtime since the other day when he walked in on Sebastian in a towel.

Luckily Sebastian's eyes were still only half-open, so the blush went unnoticed. Blaine tried to sound natural. "Here's a washcloth, so you can…wipe…that…off."

Sebastian moved slowly to take the washcloth from him, rubbing an eye with one hand and clumsily swiping at himself with the balled up towel with the other hand.

It was just so pitiable. "Here, here, let me." Blaine said, chuckling. "You're so sad." Sebastian handed over the washcloth and leaned back on his hands, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. Blaine sat down, took the washcloth and folded it neatly again. He tenderly wiped the stickiness off of Sebastian's smooth skin, pressing gently against the firm muscles of his shoulders…and arms…and chest. _Oh_ …he was starting to get mesmerized by the beauty spots again. Blaine was starting to feel…warm. He hurried to finish before his body did something even more embarrassing than blush.

Getting up quickly, Blaine tossed the dry washcloth at Sebastian and strained to speak evenly. "Here, dry yourself off," he said awkwardly, taking the two steps over to the dresser. "I'll get you another shirt."

Sebastian had fallen back on the bed and thrown an arm over his eyes.

Cooper was back. "Okey dokey," he said, wiping off the floor hastily. "Now hurry up. I want to open my presents! Aunt Martha's gift is a bizarre shape, though. Did you get the same thing, sort of a Y shaped thing? Do you think it's a sling shot? She went to Australia this year, maybe she…"

Sebastian had covered his head with a pillow again, muffling his voice. "Blaine, make him go away. I beg of you. I will buy you anything you want."

Blaine laughed, "It's alright Coop…the floor's clean enough. Seb's still not really awake, even after the juice wake-up call. I'll bring him down, just give me 5 minutes."

"Suit yourself!" Cooper cried as he slid across the hardwood floor in his socks. "I can't guarantee there will be any cinnamon buns left in 5 minutes!"

When it grew quiet, Sebastian grumbled from under the pillow, "Is he gone yet?"

Blaine looked over and blushed again when he glance landed on Sebastian's taut abs. "Y-Yes. It's safe to come out now." _How can a belly button be so sexy? Oh…stop thinking about where that treasure trail ends…oh my god I see his hip bones._

Sebastian took the pillow off of his face but then immediately threw his arm back over his eyes. He groused, " Have your parents ever thought about putting him on some kind of medication? "

"No," Blaine laughed . He opened the top dresser drawer to find Sebastian a t-shirt. "Christmas is the craziest he gets, I promise." The drawer had no t-shirts, just socks and…underwear. _Oh god, his underwear._ Blaine did NOT need to know that Sebastian wore really sexy looking Dolce & Gabbana boxer briefs. He did not need to imagine….

Blaine shook himself. He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there staring into the drawer. He shut it quickly, opened the next drawer, found a t-shirt and walked back over to the bed. But Sebastian had fallen back asleep, his arm still flung over his eyes.

Blaine sat down next to him, looking at Sebastian's beautiful face. He knew he should wake him, he knew his family was waiting downstairs for them. But Blaine couldn't move. It was all too much: seeing him this way in bed, hearing him breathe, close enough to touch...

"Well if you drool on him, that's one way to wake him up," Cooper smirked from the doorway. 

Blaine blushed furiously and glared at his brother to shut him up. He took a breath and tapped Sebastian on the shoulder. "Seb, wake up – you fell back asleep. I'm so sorry, but you really should get up."

Sebastian jolted awake. "Huh?! Uh…oh." He sat bolt upright, swinging his long legs out of bed and planting them on the floor so he was sitting side-by-side with Blaine. It was time to dig in and be a good guest for the Andersons.

Blaine felt for him. "I'm so sorry Seb, I know you're so tired. Let's go down and get you your coffee." He tried to comfort him by rubbing his back, but quickly realized that touching Sebastian's…bare skin…was a bad idea just then. A very bad idea.

He jumped up. "Okay! Here's your t-shirt."

"Wouldn't want to forget that," grinned Cooper. Blaine glared at him as Sebastian pulled the t-shirt on slowly.

Once his shirt was back on, Blaine felt comfortable enough to go back to rubbing Sebastian's back soothingly. "Wearing our pajamas to open presents means after they're all open you can go back to bed for a late morning nap. That's what my dad always does."

"Your dad is like my spirit animal."

The brothers led him downstairs where the family was gathered around the fireplace.

"Merry Christmas," Mrs. Anderson said gently, handing bleary-eyed Sebastian a plate filled with delicious looking breakfast foods.

He took the plate and stared at it for a second. "Merry Christmas," he replied as lucidly as he could as he sat down next to Blaine on the floor. Without a word, Mr. Anderson handed him his coffee and Sebastian thanked him silently.

Cooper had already distributed the gifts to each of them. 'GO!" he shouted, and they all started unwrapping gifts at once and it was a happy bedlam for at least 20 minutes.

Blaine was happy to see Sebastian's gifts went over well with his family. Mrs. Anderson pulled out a pair of Ralph Lauren house slippers. "Sebastian, these are wonderful!"

"I just noticed yours were getting a little frayed," Sebastian said in his straightforward way. She came over and kissed him on the top of his head and he gave her the small smile that he seemed to reserve only for her.

"Sebastian, thank you for the Glenmorangie," Mr. Anderson said with a grave nod. "I've read the flavor profile and quality of this one is quite rare."

"I haven't had it myself, but I read the same. Hope it suits - I wasn't sure if you had one," Sebastian remarked. "I noticed you have quite a collection already."

" You can never have enough good scotch ," Mr. Anderson said, as he folded up wrapping paper Cooper had strewn about.

Sebastian gave Blaine a triumphant look. Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Oooh, books!" Cooper squealed as he opened Sebastian's gift. "I haven't read a book in awhile!"

Mr. Anderson shook his head and Mrs. Anderson, Blaine and Sebastian stifled a collective laugh, their eyes twinkling at one another.

"Awesome, a great big beautiful book on Hollywood history illustrated with all these amazing photographs, and _Acting for Dummies_!" Cooper said, getting up to hug Sebastian from behind. "I love them both."

It was Mr. Anderson's turn to stifle a laugh.

Sebastian chuckled, "The second one is sort of a joke, Coop."

"Sort of," Blaine stage whispered, smirking.

Blaine received from his parents the Japanese, German, French, diamond editions of Disney's _Beauty and the Beast_ on Blu-Ray. He beamed as he looked them over. "Thank you so much you guys! Now I have almost all of Western European editions, and you've got me started on Asia."

"What is the deal with you and that movie?" asked Cooper. When I was playing Prince Charming at Disneyland last summer, Cinderella and I were the ones who got the biggest line-ups for autographs after the parades."

Blaine didn't hesitate to answer passionately. "Well for one, the music is amazing. But it's also got the most progressive and feminist heroine. Belle is not only part of the proletariat, but she was educating herself through reading. Plus, her love for the Beast unfolded so naturally, over several months – not overnight like so many of the other Disney stories. And the Beast started off kind of horrible, but you understood that he was paying penance for how terrible he was before, so you feel for him when he starts making an effort to behave better. And Belle is so lovely in helping him even though he makes mistakes along the way. They were two strangers who slowly became friends who learned to love each other, and then when he became a Prince it was effortless for them to romantically fall in love with each other at first sight."

Since Mr. and Mrs. Anderson were there and it was Christmas morning, Sebastian held back the bestiality jokes and looked over and saw Cooper was doing the same.

Cooper said flippantly, "Well, while you and Sebastian watch your French or Japanese princess movie, I will be enjoying the vintage burlesque videos Uncle Willy gave me."

"We aren't going to watch these!" Blaine chided, hugging the DVDs to his chest. "They lose almost all their value if you open the packaging."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows.

"Yep, he's one of those collectible crazies," Cooper said, cocking his head towards his keyed up brother.

"He's not crazy, he's just a little eccentric," Mrs. Anderson said, kissing the top of Blaine's head on her way back to the breakfast buffet.

In a few more minutes, the rest of the family had finished with all of their gifts, except Blaine, who had just one more to open. The family watched with interest as "the baby" shook it. "Hm, it's too heavy to be clothes, even though it's in a shirt box. And it's so beautifully wrapped that it can't be from Sebastian. He uses gift bags." Blaine said with a cheeky smile.

Sebastian winked at him and then leaned over to whisper in his ear. "That's only part one. You don't get to open part two until you get back to Scotland."

Blaine looked at him, smiling and wondering what would have to wait until he got back to the UK.

"This gift is also kind of for the whole family…and for me," Sebastian said mysteriously, leaning back on his hands as he sat cross-legged on the floor.

Blaine opened the box and found an elegant Gucci leather portfolio inside. "It's beautiful, Seb! I'm sure I'll use this when I interview at schools again this year, and for…"

Sebastian cut in gently. "That's not really the gift , it's just kind of part of the wrapping."

Blaine opened the portfolio and found a large light blue envelope marked, "How Do You Beat Home sickness?"

[](http://imgur.com/OQWEHIA)

Blaine opened the envelope, looked through its contents for several seconds and then looked up in amazement. "They're three open-dated, first-class airline tickets from Edinburgh to Ohio, LA, and San Francisco."

Sebastian said with a smile, "For when you want to just go home for a long weekend and shake off the Brits for a few days. Or when you want Coop to mess up your hair, or when you want to go back to San Francisco and ride the streetcars again with me."

Blaine hugged him impulsively. "Aw, thanks Seb – you're the best!" Sebastian smiled and patted his arm.

Cooper, who was watching them keenly, could tell Sebastian felt slightly awkward about getting a big hug from Blaine in front of his parents. He moved things along by going up to the fireplace and announcing, "We forgot to see what Santa brought us!"

Each stocking was filled with chocolate, iTunes giftcards, slinky toys ("Santa always brings toys for everyone, no matter how old we get," Blaine explained;) and a few personalized stocking stuffers: colorful socks for Mr. Anderson ("That is the only place midwest CEOs are allowed to show flair," Cooper explained); cosmetics for Mrs. Anderson; ties for Cooper; a bowtie for Blaine; and Motley sunblock and other men's skincare products for Sebastian.

"Someone must have told Santa that I am in the California sun too much," Sebastian smirked, looking at Blaine.

"Well Santa is a smart guy, he must know that your beautiful skin won't stay beautiful on its own," Blaine replied sagely.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, I'll try this stuff. But I'm not using that scrub crap Hummel bought for you."

The family got up to help clean up and have seconds at breakfast. Sebastian excused himself to call his mother, walking over to stand by a window and look out on the snow while he spoke in French to her.

Blaine listened from an armchair not too far away, even though he didn't understand a word of French.

"You're swooning," Cooper said, walking up. "I know you have a French fetish."

"Shhh!" Blaine shushed him.

Cooper ignored this. "So last night, before we sang carols and stuff…did you and Sebastian…"

"No!" Blaine whispered urgently. "Be quiet! He's right there!"

Cooper was dismissive. "Oh, he's on the phone with his mom on Christmas day…even the most estranged mother-son relationship merits at least 5 minutes."

"Coop, just stop! I told you no, nothing happened before the Christmas Eve ritual."

"After I left you the entire 1st floor?!" Cooper was dismayed. "How about after the 'rents went to bed? Was there a slumber party? _That_ was why I didn't come into your room at midnight this year… I am _just_ that awesome of a big brother. "

Blaine blushed. "No, Coop, nothing happened! Now be quiet, he'll hear you. And leave me alone about this, it's none of your business."

"Blainers, if I didn't push you a bit, you never would have learned to ride a bicycle. I'm just here to help you two lovebirds along!"

"We don't need help. And we're not lovebirds!" Blaine protested.

"But you might be!" Cooper said, "I think I'll take advantage of the after-Christmas sales on mistletoe…"

"Coop, so help me…" Blaine threatened.

"Awww Squirt, you're so cute when you threaten me."

"Don't call me that!"

A few minutes later, Sebastian returned, only to have his phone buzz. He looked at it and a small smile crossed his face. "It's Rob. He says the family wanted him to send a video."

He opened it while Blaine, Cooper and Mrs. Anderson gathered around it (Mr. Anderson had already gone upstairs for his nap).

It was the entire Dean family, looking just as Sebastian remembered, shouting: "MERRY CHRISTMAS, SEBASTIAN! NEXT YEAR COME SPEND IT WITH US!" Rob swung the camera around so he could speak into it. "What can I say, man – you made an impression at Thanksgiving."

Blaine smiled broadly. "Awww, Seb! They are amazing. I'm so happy you have them in your life now."

Sebastian shook his head and smirked in an aside to Blaine, "Even the damn dog was in the video."

"They seem like a lovely family," Mrs. Anderson remarked. "I'm sure they will be very understanding when you have to break the news to them."

"Break what news?" Cooper asked.

"The news that any Christmas Sebastian doesn't spend in Paris will be spent with us," she said casually.

Sebastian would have welled up, if Sebastian Smythe ever welled up. As it were, he got something in both of his eyes and had to wink a little to get it out.

"When she says stuff like that, all you can do is to kiss her," Cooper said.

Blaine nodded. "Like this!" He grabbed his mother and kissed her on the cheek.

"And this!" Cooper planted a kiss on her other cheek.

Sebastian looked more abashed than Blaine had ever seen him. Mrs. Anderson came over and squeezed him by the shoulders and gave him a motherly peck on the cheek. "Or you let her kiss you," she said.

* * *

After breakfast was cleaned up, Sebastian went upstairs for a long nap. When he rose a few hours later, Cooper and Blaine were playing air hockey in the media room and Mr. and Mrs. Anderson were reading in the living room.

The doorbell rang as Sebastian was heading to the kitchen for a snack. "I'll get it," he called, beginning to feel very much part of the family.

He opened the door to Sam, who was bearing packages and grinning widely. "Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, big guy!"

Sebastian smirked. "Is it really going to be Merry for you, Sam? Because remember…your time is coming. In fact, your time could be here!"

Sam laughed. "You wouldn't do anything to me on Christmas Day!"

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Well it was a holiday when you pulled your little stunt…"

"But it's CHRISTMAS," Sam laughed again. "There's no way you'd pull a prank on Christmas Day!" He paused. "Would you?"

Sebastian gave a sinister laugh.

"Sam!" Blaine came down the hallway. "Merry Christmas! I thought I heard you."

Sam was saying, "Dude, that is an awesome impression of Vincent Price! You gotta help me work on that one!"

Blaine said, "That's not an impression, that's actually just him." He scolded Sebastian, "Why are you laughing your evil laugh?"

Sebastian swung an arm across Blaine's shoulders and turned them back to walk to the media room. "Oh it's nothing. Sam and I are just having some fun! Or at least I'm having a little fun…" he said ominously, turning his head to smirk at Sam who walked behind them.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Be nice!" Blaine admonished.

"Sammy!" Coop got up from his seat to give Sam a hug. "Seasons Greetings! What brings you by?"

"Just bearing gifts," Sam said, opening his backpack. Sebastian glanced at Blaine, who nodded before Sebastian ducked into the living room to grab their gifts for Sam out from under the tree.

When he returned, Cooper was oohing and aahing over the long-ago promised macaroni portrait of Blaine and Blaine was marveling at his gift, a drawing of Nightbird and the Blonde Chameleon: [](http://imgur.com/rZrg77p) ([Source](http://25.media.tumblr.com/90effac5d12ca6c48b051670e7b1cbe6/tumblr_mfd5ln5Wys1qjtg4to1_r1_1280.png))

Sebastian looked at both over Blaine's shoulder. "Hey, Sam's pretty good at the comic book style…even if the tights don't reveal enough, Killer."

Blaine batted at him, "You are shameless! And what do you think of the macaroni art? He's so talented, isn't he? But don't I look so sad?"

Sebastian said just loud enough for Blaine to hear, "I don't know…it's technically pretty impressive, I guess. But the macaroni doesn't really…capture you."

"You're such a critic," Blaine said, shaking his head.

"What can I say, I'm particular about your face," Sebastian shrugged. Blaine chuckled.

"Hey Sam," Sebastian said, holding aloft a gift wrapped bundle that was obviously the stack of comic books he had promised Sam several weeks ago. "Of course these are for you, but you know what they are, which takes all the fun out of it…"

"Oh, Man! Seb you are so awesome!" Sam interrupted in excitement. But as he reached to take his gift, Sebastian used his long arm to lift the package above his head, too high for him to reach.

"Wait wait wait wait." Sebastian chided him like a teacher to a student. "Patience, child. So how can I make this more fun?"

Blaine and Cooper chuckled as Sam pouted and leapt in the air, trying to reach it.

"Repeat after me."

Sam stopped jumping and rolled his eyes.

"Eyerolling will get you nowhere, son." Sebastian said, shaking his head with a superior air. Blaine laughed, secretly loving it when Sebastian put on his snobby prep school airs.

Sam finally relented. "Okay, okay. What do you want?"

"Repeat after me. I, Samuel Bonehead Evans…"

"Dude!"

"Do you want them or not?"

Sam looked at the coveted thick stack of comic books and swallowed his pride. "I, Samuel Bonehead Evans…"

Sebastian grinned wickedly. "Do solemnly swear,"

"Do solemnly swear,"

"To never EVER again write a falsified text, email or social media post,"

"To never EVER again write a falsified text, email or social media post,"

"Or engage in any other dishonest, dishonorable, or otherwise disagreeable behavior,"

"Or engage in any other dishonest, dishonorable, or otherwise disagreeable behavior,"

"That will in any way harm, cheat, embarrass or disadvantage,"

"That will in any way harm, cheat, embarrass or disadvantage,"

"Sebastian Chase Smythe."

"Sebastian Chase Smythe."

"In the Name of the Father, the Son and the Chapsticked Ghost"

"Really?" Sam groaned. "My grandmother's a Catholic, Seb!"

"And I'm the Devil, Sam. And you have sinned, so your ass is mine until you repent. Do you want the comics or not?"

Cooper chortled and even Blaine couldn't repress a smile.

"Come on, Seb!"

"I can sell them on ebay for more than I paid for them. Now let's not take all day with this. In the Name of the Father, the Son and the Chapsticked Ghost"

"In the Name of the Father, the Son and the Chapsticked Ghost."

"Amen."

"Amen."

Cooper did the slow clap. Sebastian finally handed over the comics. Sam hit him in the shoulder as he said, "FINALLY, I'm out of the dog house with you!"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. "Who said anything about that? Of course you're still in the dog house with me. That was just what you needed to do to receive a gift from me while you are still in said dog house. No, there is still much great retribution to be paid. Your time is still coming, son."

Sam's eyes were wide and his mouth dropped open while the Anderson brothers laughed appreciatively.

"Don't worry Sammy," Coop said, throwing an arm around his shoulders, "We'll protect you from Big, Bad Seb."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Sebastian grinned, heading for the kitchen. "Who wants hot cider?"

When he returned, Sam handed Sebastian a flat package, atrociously wrapped. "Obviously the kids wrapped it," he chuckled. "Yesterday they wanted to come to deliver their gift in person, but today they have all their new toys so they told me I was 'allowed' to come without them."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows in surprise. "For me? Kids don't usually like me. My roommate Rob told me I scared his niece at Thanksgiving."

"Apparently you made quite an impression," Blaine said, smiling.

The gift was a large drawing of Paris, featuring the Arc de Triomphe and the Champs d'Elysees, the Eiffel Tower, and the Place Vendôme. There were four figures in the foreground, One taller man with brown hair, one shorter man with yellow hair, and two figures who were obviously Stevie and Stacey.

"Hey, where am I?" Blaine pouted.

Sebastian let out a hearty chuckle. "When they were saying goodbye that night, I told them that if their parents are okay with it, that I'd pay for them to come visit me and see Paris for themselves this summer when their brother came backpacking through Europe. I guess I didn't mention that you and Sam are doing that together."

Cooper came over to look at the drawing and clapped a hand on each of Sebastian and Sam's shoulders. "Aw, you two make a sweet couple."

* * *

Just before he left for home, Sam pulled Sebastian aside and handed him a manila envelope. "Dude, I didn't want to give this to you in front of Blaine and Cooper, but here's my Christmas present for you."

Sebastian pulled out a beautiful pencil drawing of Blaine:

[](http://imgur.com/eR1LKdQ)

[Source](http://www.deviantart.com/art/Darren-Criss-207522564)

Sebastian gave Sam a sharp look. "Why are you giving me a drawing of Blaine?"

Sam looked at him mildly. "Why do you think, Seb?"

Sebastian was looking carefully at the drawing, his eyes softening. "What are you trying to get at, Sam?" he asked slowly.

"Dude, I told you the other night that I know you skipped out on Christmas in Paris with your mom to be with Blaine. I didn't see you denying it."

Sebastian kept his eyes on the drawing as Sam continued. "I saw you in San Francisco with him, and I've seen how long the emails you write him are and the stuff in the care packages and I can hear the tone of your voice even from the other room when Skype him. And I figured out that at The Tavern when I was sitting with you before Santana came, you were probably pissed off because Kurt and Blaine were having coffee the next day. I'm not as dumb as I look. Plus I saw you at the baggage claim when we got here. Do I need to show you the video of you closing your eyes and smelling his hair?"

Sam thought Sebastian might get mad at the mention of baggage claim spying, but Sebastian didn't say anything. He just studied the planes of Blaine's face in the picture.

"I took this photo of him," Sam pulled up a photo of Blaine on his phone, "And I drew from the photo."

Sebastian glanced at the photo on the phone and then turned back to the drawing.

Sam sounded nervous. "I probably got carried away with some of the lines. He kinda looks old with those lines on his neck, but I liked how the eyes and the hair turned out. I like his hair with less gel, so hope you're cool with me making him wear it like that."

Sebastian nodded, again not looking up.

"I wanted you to know I've appreciated all the comic books and stuff you've been sending, and that it's been cool getting to know you better this year, and that I appreciate how good you've been to Blaine - after the wedding, and especially lately with all the vocal chord stuff…"

"Sam." Sebastian interjected when Sam paused for breath. He was still studying the drawing.

"Yeah?"

Sebastian didn't look up. "I get it – and you've been more than good to Blaine, too."

Sam was surprised into silence.

"So _now_ you're out of the doghouse."

Sam pulled Sebastian into a big bear hug. "Aww...Merry Christmas, Seb."

"Merry Christmas, Sam."

* * *

The family spent part of the rest of the afternoon receiving other visitors: Tina, some of Mr. and Mrs. Anderson's friends, a few of Cooper's friends from high school. Otherwise, Cooper, Sebastian and Blaine hung out in the media room playing video games and half-watching old Christmas movies while they played board games and surfed the web on their tablets and phones. In between all the electronic stimulation they just talked by the fire with hot chocolate, popcorn and party leftovers. Mrs. Anderson checked in on them from time to time, once giving Cooper a questioning look after noticing Blaine snuggled up against Sebastian's arm while watching A Christmas Story. Cooper shrugged.

At about four o'clock and about halfway through _White Christmas,_ Blaine and Cooper had just manhandled a grouchy, sleepy Sebastian into a more comfortable looking position on the sofa, his head on a pillow in Blaine's lap again. Mrs. Anderson happened to be walking by the open door. After glancing inside she stopped just outside the door jamb, looking in. Blaine was looking down at Sebastian's sleeping profile, smoothing his hair. She studied Blaine's face for a moment, her eyes soft. Cooper saw her open her mouth to speak, only to close it again.

"I love this movie. So romantic," she said finally, coming in to perch on the end of the sofa. Blaine's hand came out of Sebastian's hair quickly, but she pretended not to notice.

"Mmmhmm," Blaine agreed, choosing not look at her, instead looking at Bing Crosby's blue eyes. Cooper looked amused.

"Look at this sleeping giant," She said, standing up and leaning over to lightly pat Sebastian's cheek. "Sebastian dear, you should go upstairs and lay down, you'll be much more comfortable."

Sebastian eyes half-opened at the sound of her voice in his ear. "Mmm, okay." He slowly rose and stumbled through the door.

"How did you do that?" Blaine asked incredulously. "Coop and I had to practically wrestle him to just lay down, since he refused to go upstairs."

"Mother's touch," she said, smiling. She sat down next to Blaine. "Sebastian's been a lovely house guest, I'm glad you invited him. Even an Anderson Christmas is improved with a breath of fresh air. He is very easy to be with. Your brother seems to like him," she smiled at Cooper, "And he's even fared well with your father," she said with a smile.

Blaine warned, "Well, you know how dad is, he might be polite on the outside and think something else entirely different inside."

"You make your father sound deceptive," Mrs. Anderson demurred. "He's just hard for some people to read sometimes. I would have heard something by now from him if he had any problems with Sebastian."

"And you haven't heard anything bad from him? Oh good," Blaine said, letting out a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad he's finding Sebastian tolerable, I would have hated for Dad to be uncomfortable at Christmas."

Mrs. Anderson put her arm around Blaine. "I don't think your father just tolerates Sebastian. I think he genuinely likes him." She looked thoughtful for a moment as she pondered why. "Sebastian has beautiful manners, and your father appreciates that. He's very respectful, but he doesn't…try too hard. Your father is a very powerful man, and I know one of the things that can annoy him the most is when his employees try too hard and act like sycophants around him."

"That's true. And Sebastian definitely doesn't ever do that for other people, no matter how senior they might be to him," Blaine said.

"Yeah, Mom's right - I think Dad kind of digs him," Cooper said, throwing a few kernels of popcorn in the air and catching them in his mouth. "I mean, I couldn't believe he sat with Seb on the sofa last night and gave him a scotch!" Cooper said.

"Well, that could have been because he felt bad for him, since you told him about Seb's dad and all." Blaine said. "Which, by the way," he said, giving warning looks to both his mother and Cooper, "we can NEVER tell Seb about."

"Of course not," his mother and brother said in unison.

"So I still have to say," Blaine continued, "I'm a little worried about Christmas dinner tonight. It's the first night since we've been home that we're all sitting down to a real formal family dinner. I hope it won't be too awkward between Seb and dad. Our first night when we just all ate pizza around the kitchen island, Seb thought Dad was looking at him like he was going to murder him because he's gay and might be sleeping with me or something." Blaine blushed at his own words.

"That's just his natural countenance," Cooper said with a shrug.

"That's what I told him!" Blaine said. "Seb didn't seem too concerned about it. But I think he should be, you know how dad is."

"Oh, you have nothing to worry about," said Mrs. Anderson.

Blaine groaned. "Mom, do you remember Easter dinner with Kurt my sophomore year? Dad asking Kurt about the salary ranges for top paid actors on Broadway, what the average career length was and what the expected gross ticket sales were the previous season? Kurt wanted to slide under the table and dig a tunnel for home. Can you imagine him grilling Sebastian about business, an area he actually knows something about?"

Mrs. Anderson took Blaine's hand. "I think the questions for Kurt actually had more to do with you than anything else. Remember, you had just told him you wanted to pursue a Broadway performing career? You know how long it took for him to come around about Cooper becoming an actor. It was just a shock to his poor heart again when you decided you wanted to go into the theatre. But now he's very supportive of both of you…it just takes time for your father to adjust to things he doesn't know much about. So I don't think any of what worried you had anything to do with Kurt."

Coop chuckled. "I don't know Mom, I think it had a little bit to do with Kurt. He was wearing a hippo brooch, come on."

Blaine threw a pillow at him.

* * *

"So next semester a bunch of us are going to London together to audition for some West End shows," finished Blaine, before he had another forkful of pie.

Mrs. Anderson said, "That will be splendid for you, London is a wonderful city." She smiled at Sebastian. "I met Mr. Anderson in London."

Cooper grinned. "I love that story. She was in the chorus of a West End show and Dad was at Barclays. They met at a Christmas party. The best part is he had heard she was dating someone else at the time but he didn't care - just about a minute after she walked into that party he came right up to her, took her by the hand, and got her to dance with him – she didn't even know his name yet!"

Blaine chuckled, "But she refused to date him because she was still in love with the other guy. But Dad was persistent…it took him a couple of years, but he got her in the end! "

Mr. Anderson drank from his wine glass and shook his head at his sons. "I'm sure Sebastian is not interested in all these details, boys." He served himself a piece of Christmas cake and changed the subject. "Sebastian, tell us what you've been doing at Stanford. What are you studying?"

Blaine suddenly looked anxious, awaiting his father's nitpicky questions and not-so-subtle judgments.

"I'm double majoring in electrical engineering and economics. I took two classes for engineering last quarter, but I haven't started in economics yet – just took a couple of general education courses."

"History and literature," Blaine said, in a nervous attempt to help.

"A double major at Stanford will be a tough road," Mr. Anderson commented.

Blaine looked anxious but Sebastian looked unperturbed. "It's been a challenge, but part of that was my own doing. Most of my classmates take three classes, not four per quarter. I just wanted to make sure I can still graduate in four years with a double major. So I wanted to save the quarters where I can take just three classes for when I'm taking on the really hard upper division work.

"That sounds quite sensible," Mrs. Anderson said, glancing at her husband to see if he was going to stop.

"And how did you fare?" Mr. Anderson asked, sipping more of his wine. Now even Cooper raised an eyebrow. His father had never asked for a report card from Kurt or any of girls he had dated.

If Sebastian was annoyed or disturbed by the line of inquiry, he didn't show it. He answered smoothly, "As it turns out, taking four courses during the first quarter of my freshman year, when I didn't really have a lay of the land yet, was not the best idea. But I've pulled off A's and B's. Hopefully next quarter I'll fare better since I was able to get insider information on different courses and professors from some of upperclassmen in some of the clubs I've joined. I also think I took on too much last quarter, so I'll probably be dropping competitive fencing and just go in to fence for fun and exercise on my own."

"And what made you pick those majors?" Mr. Anderson inquired. Now Blaine looked annoyed.

Sebastian was calm. "I'm trying to prepare for a Silicon Valley business career. I'm studying engineering because I figure if I don't have some idea what my engineers are doing, I won't get very far. I've read it's the engineers at Google who have all the power."

"And why electrical engineering, and not a computer science?" Mr. Anderson asked. Blaine wanted to groan.

Sebastian swallowed a piece of his cake and replied easily. "I'll take some courses in CS, and they'll count towards the major. But I thought it would be important to understand hardware as well, to have a broader perspective. Plus CS is a Bachelor of Arts, not a Bachelor of Science degree. I think the structured problem solving skills I will get from an engineering major will help in business. As for economics, it was the same idea – understanding the broader context of industries and business. Plus, you can't even major in business at Stanford."

"I see," Mr. Anderson nodded. Blaine exhaled and tried to think of what subject to turn to next.

"Stanford's has some good resources, being in the Silicon Valley," Sebastian continued, sipping from his coffee. "There's an undergraduate business club that hosts a lot of events featuring Silicon Valley investors, start ups, corporate executives, that sort of thing. Next quarter I'm thinking of joining a team to enter an entrepreneurship case competition that's judged by some Apple and Google execs."

Blaine stared at him, wondering why he wasn't satisfied to leave well enough alone.

Mr. Anderson raised his eyebrows with interest. "I dabbled in entrepreneurship when I was first starting out - when I was in business school at Northwestern. Those case competitions can be intense."

Blaine looked completely amazed at the direction of the conversation. Cooper gave him a smug smile as he drank his tea.

"Yes," said Sebastian. "The way they set up this one is that we have only a set number of hours, and we get access to the internet browsers, but no email except to our 'lifelines' – three or four people we can call or email to get advice on how to present our solutions to the case."

"Well, I don't have Silicon Valley experience, but if you need general business strategy help, get my cell number from Blaine." Blaine's eyes looked like saucers. "Oh, and I can get you my 'secret' email address - the one my secretary doesn't manage."

"You have a secret email address?!" Blaine almost shouted.

"I didn't know that, either." Even Cooper was a bit thrown.

"Well you boys can just call your father," Mrs. Anderson explained.

"I would definitely appreciate that," Sebastian said to Mr. Anderson. "On a related note, I actually have been wanting to ask your advice, I know you did i-banking out of college, instead of management consulting. Do you have any regrets about that? I mean I know learning valuation and understanding financials would be a solid way to start out my training, but I like the exposure to the guts of a business and the leadership experience I might get in consulting. At the same time, given the nature of the Valley, maybe there is something to be said for just jumping in to work at a start-up right away?"

As Sebastian and Mr. Anderson launched into a discussion about Sebastian's post-college career options, Cooper, Blaine, and Mrs. Anderson got up to clear the table. As they entered the kitchen, Cooper teased, "Close your mouth, Blainey. The flies might come in."

"How did he? What did…? How?" Blaine spluttered. "He _offered_ his cell number to him! And a secret email address!"

"Well Sebastian does share your father's interest in business," Mrs. Anderson said, rinsing the plates. "Your father mentors a few young managers and analysts in his company. I think he enjoys helping young people who are just getting started in the business world. He still remembers what it was like for him."

"Yeah, and it's not like Blainey or I have ever been at all interested in business stuff," Cooper remarked as he rummaged in a cabinet looking for the cake dome.

"Well that's true," Blaine said scooping leftover pie into Tupperware. Then his head jerked up. "Oh no…what if that's all they have to talk about? Dad never likes to talk about business for too long at home." He hastened toward the kitchen door, cake server still in hand. "I better help out if they are in awkward silence mode."

Cooper and Mrs. Anderson followed him, but they found the dining room empty. And they heard the sound of music coming from the living room.

Their three heads one above the other, they looked around the door jamb and saw Mr. Anderson in his arm chair with his feet up on the ottoman, and Sebastian sprawled on the sofa. Each of them had a lit cigar in one hand and a glass of scotch in the other. They were listening to a Wynton Marsalis Christmas CD, and not speaking - at all.

Blaine was speechless with amazement and happiness.

Mrs. Anderson laughed quietly. "See? You had nothing to worry about."

"Oh yes he does," smirked Cooper. "He should worry that Dad's going to trade him in for Sebastian."

Blaine smeared pie on his brother's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we (Super Beta Readers Dori, Thomas and I) hope you enjoyed a very merry Seblaine Christmas! I'll have you know that the entire chapter was written and edited, all ready to go yesterday when we realized that no one had gone shirtless. Criminal. So we added the first bit, because...we give the people what you want (you know who you are)! For those of you who were offended by our blatant objectification of poor, innocent, sleepy Sebastian - well I'm sure Grant Gustin appreciates you standing up for his dignity. However, we also know you are lying. And given how much Grant instagrams himself shirtless, we also don't think he'd object to this chapter!
> 
> Seriously, hope you guys liked our foray into almost pure fluff in this chapter and in the last one. We appreciate you humoring us. We are just a group of writers that enjoys Christmas and are a little tired of every Christmas story being pure angst. So we went the hybrid, poor Seb's angst and some romancing under the Town Tree, and then pure Anderson family loveliness (with a little bit of Rob's family thrown in there). We really thought Seb deserved it.
> 
> But what did you think? Please review and let us know if you thought it was too much fluff, if the Andersons feel real or if they are too Ward and June Cleaver, if the Sebam scenes were too silly, if the Sebam feels worked (we tinkered with that a lot), if the opening of this chapter was too much, etc. etc.
> 
> Anything not make sense? Do we need to get Cooper shirtless next? Suggestions, comments, etc. are welcome, or just a "Hi, I'm reading!" note would be great. We love hearing from you. We'll be back soon!


	10. Clues, 'Tana's Advice, & a Walk in Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Seblaine fluff for Blaine´s mama; some serious Blaine feels (like his equivalent of Stop the Wedding´s Runaway With Me chapter); Auntie 'Tana is back to slap Sebastian around a bit; and Seblaine go for a walk in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to College!Seblaine and a world where Blaine finally realizes he's been in love with Sebastian. Thanks for all the great notes/reviews in the last chapter, with bonus points for Chapter 9 reviewers (Kelly and Old Man River) who picked up on the parallels between Seblaine and Mr. and Mrs. Anderson's meet-cute story, as well as the parallels between Seblaine and Beauty and the Beast!

The days between Christmas and New Year's passed happily, though not quite living up to Blaine's promises to not overschedule. In the early mornings they exercised, meeting up with Sam, Mike, Jake, Ryder or various Warblers for a run, time at the gym, at the fencing studio or in the boxing ring (Blaine taught their friends while Sebastian teased about Dalton Fight Club).

The late mornings were spent with practical concerns: Sebastian's annual review of Grandmother Fondeur's finances with her accountant; running errands for Mrs. Anderson; shopping with Santana or Tina with Christmas gift cards or exchanging Christmas gifts at the mall.

On one of the days they helped Mrs. Anderson clean out the attic. She heard them coming up the stairs towards her.

"Just give those to me, Seb. You have no idea what to do with 409."

"It's for polishing any old shoes we find up there, right?" Sebastian smirked, handing the bottle and paper towels over.

"You know, you think that whole spoiled rich boy thing is cute, but it's really just obnoxious."

"You love it," Sebastian said, poking at him.

"Ah! Not while I'm carrying chemicals!"

"Well then give the chemicals back to me!"

"No!"

"See, you don't want to ruin your image of sophisticated Sebastian Smythe!"

"No, I just don't trust you with this!"

"I'm very trustworthy! Give it to me!"

They came tripping up the stairs, one of Sebastian's arms around Blaine's waist as he tried to take the bottle with his other hand.

Mrs. Anderson listened to them thoughtfully, then turned to laugh at them as they stumbled into the room, "Be careful boys, I don't want you falling down the stairs. You are both performers, your audiences count on your good looks staying intact."

Sebastian dropped down beside her to look at the photo album she had open in her lap. "And what do we have here? Mini-Coop in a Top Gun bomber jacket… And Cooper swimming with Mr. Anderson. Wow, Mr. Anderson was …"

"Please don't call my dad hot."

"I was just going to say he was an Izod guy. But yeah, he was hot!" Sebastian laughed.

"Stop," Blaine groaned.

Sebastian grinned. "Look at these shirtless beach pictures, Blaine. I mean _objectively_ speaking…"

"STOP!" Blaine covered his ears. Mrs. Anderson laughed.

Sebastian yielded with a chuckle, flipping a page. "Ah, there he is. I see the gelling started young."

"He had just gotten out of the bath," said Mrs. Anderson with a smile. "So no, that's not gel." She flipped a few pages. "But this is where the gel began, he insisted on it every day starting at around age four," Mrs. Anderson said. "And the bowties – he saw them on Dick Van Dyke in a musical and never looked back."

Blaine shrugged, "I had a sense of my signature style very young."

Sebastian flipped backwards again the in album. "Please tell me there are Blaine baby photos in here…oh yes, there he is, in his birthday suit glory!" He whispered in Blaine's ear, "Baby got back even in the infant days! Your parents even recognized the family jewel early on with this picture."

[](http://imgur.com/z0ogAj9)

Blaine smacked him upside the head. He turned to ask his mom, "Can you put these away?!" His mother shut the book. "LATER," she whispered loudly to Sebastian.

Blaine laughed. "Well maybe it's only fair. Grandmother Fondeur showed me pictures of baby Sebastian yesterday while Sebastian was meeting with her accountant. He was so blond as a baby! Almost as blond as Jeff! " He pouted. "But Grandmother Fondeur didn't show me any naked baby pictures!"

Sebastian laughed, "Oh don't feel so bad, B – those were very tasteful. So tasteful I may have to instagram them…"

Blaine lunged for him. "You wouldn't…"

Mrs. Anderson intervened, laughing. "Okay boys, I actually did need your help. Now those boxes over there can go down to my car for Goodwill. And those boxes on that side are for the garbage or recycling."

Blaine and Sebastian nodded and got up. Sebastian picked up the first two boxes but then yelped,"Shit!" He fumbled the boxes, almost dropping them..

Blaine and Mrs. Anderson looked up in alarm and Blaine grabbed the boxes from him.

"Be careful, Blaine!" Sebastian warned, "There's a nail or an industrial staple or something sticking out of that bottom one." He started sucking on this finger.

Blaine put the boxes down and pulled Sebastian's finger out of his mouth, "Don't do that, you might infect it. Are you okay?" The hazel eyes were wide with concern as he examined the torn and bleeding flesh. "Ooh, you really ripped into your finger." He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. Here, wrap it tightly in this while I get the first aid kit." Blaine dashed for the stairs.

Mrs. Anderson came over to wrap Sebastian's finger more tightly. "I'm sorry, Sebastian – those boxes are so old, I didn't remember us stapling them shut. I'm sure it was Blaine's father, he always liked that staple gun…"

"It's okay," said Sebastian. He added quietly, "I'm sorry for swearing."

"It's fine, dear. And you don't need to be using your company manners so much with me," she winked at him.

Sebastian gave her his small smile. "My grandmother pounded it into me."

"Good for her."

They heard Blaine hurrying up the stairs. Mrs. Anderson held her hand out for the first aid kit, but Blaine said, "It's okay Mom, I got it." He turned to Sebastian. "How is it? Let me see. Does it hurt a lot?"

"I'm fine," Sebastian chuckled. "Except that I can't get over the fact that you carry a pocket handkerchief, Grandpa."

"You'd be bleeding all over your overpriced Burberry jeans if not for my pocket handkerchief, so don't mock them," Blaine chided as he unwrapped the finger.

"That's true," Sebastian said melodramatically. "And now you can bring my heart's blood back to Scotland with you,"

Blaine blushed. "Hush, so I can concentrate. You don't have to impress your Lit professor anymore."

Mrs. Anderson noticed the blush. She went back to sorting through her box, but out of the corner of her eye she watched Blaine care for Sebastian's wound. He sponged it with the warm washcloth tenderly, glancing up only to smile into Sebastian's eyes when he was teased about something. When he was about to apply antiseptic, his hand went up almost automatically to soothingly smooth the back of Sebastian's neck when he knew it would sting. He wrapped the finger a few too many times in gauze before Sebastian made him unwrap some of it, and taped it up neatly with his skillful fingers.

Mrs. Anderson smiled to herself. First, he was playing with sleeping Sebastian's hair on Christmas Day. Now this - two clues in three days.

* * *

_"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."_

\- Sam Keen

Lunch and early afternoons were highly social: they visited Grandmother Fondeur again; they picked up Sam and the three of them caught up more with Nick at the diner he and Sebastian used to frequent while at Dalton; they had lunch with Mike at Breadstix followed by a fierce game of Lasertag with the Warblers; they split off one afternoon so Tina and Blaine could lunch alone while Sebastian and Santana took hot sandwiches on a walk around the lake.

Sebastian insisted that late afternoons, at least for him, were a no-schedule zone. So late afternoons started each day with a movie matinee at home. Of course a few minutes into the movie each day Sebastian began nodding off, which was followed by Blaine trying to get Sebastian to go upstairs and Sebastian's head ultimately ending up on the small pillow in Blaine's lap. Cooper wasn't there to help, so after two days of fighting with him Blaine just gave up and worked out a system where he: (1) grabbed the pillow when he saw Sebastian's head starting to bob; (2) poked Sebastian violently until he fell onto the couch like a tree a falling in the woods; and (3) tickled him until he crawled grumbling up the sofa and onto the pillow in Blaine's lap. By day three Blaine could read his Kindle with one hand while tickling Sebastian with the other, all while inching up the couch with Sebastian and keeping the pillow balanced perfectly on his lap.

Every afternoon Mrs. Anderson came by to see Blaine running his fingers through Sebastian's hair as he watched the television or read, glancing down to study Sebastian's profile from time to time. One day she saw him run a finger across Sebastian's cheek, and another day he fell asleep himself, hand on Sebastian's shoulder – clue number three.

When Sebastian awoke they got ready for their evening engagements. Video games at Mike's house, karaoke and board games at Nick's. One night Nick, Jeff and David came over for poker and singing around the piano. Another evening Marley, Ryder, Tina, Kitty, Artie, Sam, Stevie and Stacey came over to make cupcakes and watch MGM musicals at Sebastian's insistence.

When Mrs. Anderson came down to refill her teacup, Sebastian had just survived a messy flour war with Ryder, Kitty, Blaine and Sam and was licking the frosting out of the bowl. "What kind of big brother are you, Sam? How have you never shown a single Gene Kelly movie to these kids? They need to be trained in the classics. It will help them stand out in a sea of kids who think Angry Birds is art. They have to watch American in Paris before they come see me next summer."

"Whatever, dude. And I gotta say, even though Nick says you pass for straight – I don't believe it anymore."

Sebastian hurled the spatula at him, square in the abs.

Blaine laughed. "He's right though, Sam. If you want to encourage them to enjoy the arts the way you do, they are at the right age. The older they get, the less interested they're going to be in your opinions. Right now you are so intent on making sure they don't break your guitar, it kind of takes some of the fun out their experience of music." He pointed at the kids across the room, dancing along with Kitty to Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor on TV. "Check them out! Stacey has some grace to her movements." Then he teased," and Stevie totally has rhythm! How is he your brother?"

Mrs. Anderson took her time with her teacup as she watched Blaine. As he spoke, he gingerly dusted flour off of Sebastian's shoulders; brushed more of it delicately off the back of his neck; and, in spite of Sebastian trying to batting him away, carefully swept flour out of his hair. She left as stealthily as she could – clue number four.

On the fourth afternoon after Christmas, Mrs. Anderson came by the media room and coaxed Sebastian to go upstairs for his nap. He was especially groggy that day, after a run around the lake in the cold and a big lunch. She took him by the hand and led him all the way upstairs and into his room, tucking him into bed.

When she returned downstairs she saw through the archway that Blaine was staring out the window at the snow and not even pretending to watch "It's a Wonderful Life."

She went quietly to the kitchen and returned in a few minutes with a magazine, cookies, cheese and crackers, and a pot of tea. She paused in the doorway, saying, "Mind if I join you by the fire here?

"Of course I don't mind, mom." Blaine answered, glancing at her with a half smile.

She pretended to read for a few minutes, but then made no bones about looking up to study his profile. She knew he could see her out of the corner of his eye.

Her "baby" seemed to be changing daily before her eyes. He was using less gel in his hair than he had in high school, and it looked curlier than usual after the very informal lunch he'd had, which undoubtedly included roughhousing with Sam, Nick and Sebastian. His late afternoon stubble also made him look even older to her. All of this seemed to be in keeping with the slightly less formal way he seemed to be carrying himself since he had returned home.

But more than any of that, the look in Blaine's eyes reflected a new maturity. Gone was the naïve, wide-open look of years past. In its place was an expression reflecting a depth of feeling she had never seen before.

[](http://imgur.com/ac8JCXw)

They heard the movie's most romantic lines:

_'What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.'_

_'I'll take it. Then what?'_

_'Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... '_

She said quietly, "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Blaine turned around and looked gravely at his mother. "I think so," he said quietly. He sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

"No, I had to look carefully," she said. "You are so affectionate with everyone that I don't think any of your other friends probably notice - except maybe Tina."

"Yeah, she already kind of knows – she asked me at lunch right after I got back if I had feelings for him and I admitted that had some, but that I'm not sure how Seb feels about me. Coop and I had the same conversation." Blaine sighed. "But that was before Christmas. When I went to pick him up on Christmas Eve, we were standing next to the Christmas tree in the town square and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like that line from that song, "Love came and hit me in the eye; flash, bam, alacazam; out of the orange colored sky."

He dropped down on the couch and put his head in his mother's lap. "I looked over at him, and all of sudden I was never so sure of anything in my whole life – I love him. I thought to myself, 'I don't just have a few romantic feelings for him. I don't just want to be a friend who takes care of him - I want to be the one who gets to love him the most. I want to give him all the love that he deserves, and I want him to love me with all his heart.'"

Mrs. Anderson looked at him tenderly. "You do sound very certain."

"I wasn't at first. As quickly as the next day, I was second-guessing the feelings I was having. I thought maybe I was just admiring him for being so brave about Christmas Eve and his dad, or that I was just feeling romantic because it was Christmas and he was getting on so well with all of you…but here I am, it's been five days and I still haven't stopped loving him this way. I can't stop thinking about it, if anything I keep finding more reasons to love him."

Mrs. Anderson's eyes welled up. "So why do you look so serious, dear?"

Blaine fumbled for words. "Because I'm...overwhelmed. It's so intense…not at all like it was with Kurt. When I first fell in love with Kurt, it was soft, romantic, pleasant…It's so different with Seb…it feels fun and romantic, but in a more thrilling and passionate and all-consuming way."

Mrs. Anderson said gently, "Well that makes sense. They are very different young men; and love is different as you mature. I 'm sure the overwhelming feeling will pass."

"But I'm not just overwhelmed. I'm...scared. My feelings for Seb are so strong, they feel so much deeper. When I told Kurt I liked him, he had already told me he liked me, so there was no scariness. What if Seb doesn't feel the same way? And even if he does, what if it doesn't work out? With Kurt I was so naive when we started out - I just assumed everything was going to be fine. Now I know it might not be, and if I had to be without Seb I know it would feel like a million times worse and I don't know how I could bear it..."

Mrs. Anderson smoothed his hair as he continued. "He's the most extraordinary person I've ever met. I feel so differently about him than I did about Kurt. When we were together I always kind of thought Kurt walked on water. Honestly, I still have trouble coming up with what Kurt's flaws are.

"But with Sebastian, I know he has flaws - he can be impatient, even touchy, grouchy - but I know where they come from and they just remind me of why I love and admire him. They remind me of what he's working through and how far he's come. They are a part of him, so I love them."

Blaine's eyes shone. "He's the bravest and strongest person I know. He keeps going after every disappointment from his family, after every mistake he's made. He's not afraid to go after new challenges like Stanford. He's not afraid to be honest with people, or to do what he thinks is right, even if other people won't like him for it. It's really inspiring."

Mrs. Anderson said, "You know he sounds like your father when he was younger. Ambitious, sometimes hot headed, passionate...yet low-key at the same time."

"So you understand! So many people who don't know Sebastian don't see his amazing qualities. Like he has such a big heart, mom - he just doesn't wear it on his sleeve." Blaine smiled broadly. "Except with his grandmother, he's like a different person with her! He's affectionate and appreciative and takes care of her. He really values family, even though she's like all he's got who's worthy of him." He sat up and looked guilty. "I know I should be more sympathetic of his parents but I just can't be right now."

His mother nodded but didn't speak, not wanting to sidetrack him.

"He loves his friends so much, too. Santana told me he sends random gift cards to her when he thinks she might be low on cash, making flimsy excuses about why he's doing it. He drove an hour in the middle of the night when David got stranded without a car with a designated driver at some party. He sends Sam comic books by the box and I'm pretty sure he lied about his frequent flier miles expiring so that he could pay for Sam's airfare home for Christmas.

"And Mom," Blaine's eyes were soft. "He's so good to me. He…" he searched for words. "...sees me. He knows exactly how I'm feeling from the tone of my voice or a look on my face. He's always encouraging, but he never tries to change me."

Blaine sat forward and stared at the lit fireplace. "Whenever I'm down, I can always go to him to feel supported…and protected…safe. Yet his support doesn't feel like a crutch. I always walk away feeling stronger and better. And he usually makes me laugh," he chuckled. "Especially when I need to remember to laugh at myself. At the same time he's like my biggest fan - he accepts all of my flaws, too. Like he's so patient when I get to babbling like I am now," Blaine smiled. "He's the most attentive listener - he makes me feel like I'm the center of his universe when he's listening to me."

Blaine stood up and looked out the window. "Actually, he makes me feel like I'm the center of his universe anytime I'm with him. He's always anticipating what I might need or want. And he always, always tries to put me first - like when he pushed me to go to Scotland even though he would have loved it if I had gone to a program in San Francisco.

He turned to his mother again. "And it's also the little things - if I'm cold, he'll insist that he's not and give me his jacket even though he's shivering. And he never misses a Skype call – sometimes he'll call me with one shoe off in the locker room the minute our call is supposed to start if he's running late. He never forgets anything he says he'll do for me. I know I can count on him, always. He makes me feel like... a priority."

Mrs. Anderson was touched by the lilt in his voice.

Blaine sat down and looked at his mother with shining eyes. "And you know what's just as amazing? He lets me in and shares his life with me. He shares his innermost thoughts and insecurities and dreams. He tells me when he's not feeling sure about himself or his future, and about his messed up parents and his sad childhood…and he lets me take care of him. He's not too proud to let me in. He's actually much more sensitive than people would guess, he's just very discerning about who he shares his feelings with. I feel so special that he trusts all of that with me."

Then he flopped backwards on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. "We're best friends mom, but I want more – he's so beautiful, I can't help but want to be even closer to him. But what kind of relationship could we have 5000 miles apart? That's further than what Kurt and I dealt with. It would be so horrible if I gave my heart completely to him and we failed at making it work. I don't want to imagine having to be distant to him, and worrying about what would he would do without me.

"Plus, I wanted to take this year off to find myself, to not have a boyfriend. And Sebastian should be free to do with college freshmen do - he should be having fun, going to parties…" He swallowed. "dating other people. The timing doesn't seem right. At the same time, I couldn't stop loving him if I tried, and I can't stand the idea of him dating anyone else."

Blaine sat up and shook his head. "I'm getting ahead of myself. For all I know if he doesn't even feel the same way. He hasn't given me any clues, really."

His mother gave him a warm smile. "He does seem very fond of you, darling. He wanted to see your baby pictures, and the way he looks at you sometimes…"

"You sound like Cooper and Sam," Blaine said, standing up and pacing. "Sebastian definitely cares about me – I'm his best friend for sure. But sometimes I think he just thinks of me as his cute little friend, not as boyfriend material." He stopped next to the fireplace. "I'm so scared to ask. But I have to find out how he feels or it's going to eat me up inside…isn't it?"

She nodded, giving him a sympathetic smile.

Blaine paused for several moments. "Does Cooper ever have entire conversations with you by himself?"

"Every week," she smiled.

* * *

Sebastian picked up his mobile phone during a break in Lasertag. "You rang, Princess?" he said languidly.

"That would be Queen to you. I have to pick up the cake for my cousin's Quinceañera tomorrow - come with me and we can pretend to be engaged and sample wedding cake."

"How very ghetto of you – good god you must be bored."

"Oh come on, you should be flattered I'm inviting you because you're the best liar I know. Kurt was jealous that I´m inviting you because he loves cake more than most people love their families. I told him no one would ever buy that he and I are engaged."

"Kurt is jealous of me for many reasons," Sebastian smirked.

"You are such a bastard – one of these days I´m going to dump you for him."

And fight over him with Berry? Hate to break it to you, but you´re stuck with me as your token gay companion."

"Lord help me. So can you come or what?"

"Nope. Blaine's dragging me off to Jeff's sleigh ride thing with the Warblers and some of your public school buddies."

"What? How come I wasn't invited?"

"Maybe because I believe the Warblers refer to you as "the scary-New-Directions-cheerleader-chick" who hurts people with your words."

"And you would be...America's Sweetheart?"

"Hey, I turned over a new leaf, remember?"

"Please, that leaf shriveled up and died ages ago. Then your old leaves grew right back."

"Bitch!"

"Whore!"

Sebastian laughed. "We'll catch up later then, 'Tana. Or I'll text you to keep my fingers from snapping off out in the cold."

"Fine. Where are you guys going, anyway?"

"I don't know, I just show up on the driveway when Blaine RSVPs for us for stuff and he carts me off. Somewhere in the woods, I guess."

"Blaine RSVPs for you? Aww…so where are you two registering for china, again?"

"Ha…ha…ha. Cue the laugh track. You are oh so hilarious, Yeasty." Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on, I heard you two were pretty adorable throwing flour at each other at Blaine's house the other night..."

"What the hell, are you McKinley nerds just constantly in a Google hangout, gossiping?"

"It's called talking to your friends. You should try it sometime. But don't avoid the subject. When I heard about the flour flirting I wanted the update. Does this mean you finally bumped uglies with lil B?"

"None of your business, Santana." Sebastian looked annoyed.

"Ooh. Testy – that equals blueballs for Smythe. ´Cause if you HAD bedded Blainers, I´d be able to HEAR you smirking right now. Did he turn you down?"

Sebastian's voice had heat now. "No, he did not turn me down. And I'm done with your Lima-Heights-style hagging about in my business. I'm hanging up now."

"Wait wait wait… come now, let your Auntie 'Tana help out here. So you haven't gotten on that dreamboat acapella mouth? What's stopping you? Oh, are you trying to be all rom-com gushy for the Disney Prince and kiss him at New Year's Eve midnight tomorrow at Mike's?"

Sebastian shot back at her. "LOPEZ! May I remind you that YOU were the one who said that he 'needs time to heal?'"

"I said that at Halloween, Twink. It's almost been four months now since the near-wedding. And Blaine told you last week he's not mooning for Kurt anymore - I can't believe you didn't nail him the second he finished that sentence! And you are sleeping under the same roof right now - talk about easy access!"

Sebastian took a deep breath and calmed himself. "Stop it, 'Tana - seriously." He screwed his eyes shut. "It's not clear he's ready. We said he'd need a year to be on his own two feet, remember?"

"Who's we?"

"You, me, Sam, Nick, everyone - don't you remember?"

[ ](http://imgur.com/WFcgpTI)

"I don't think anyone designated a timeline, Seb. Maybe you did in your head. And it's not clear if he's ready, getting your mack on with him is a good way to find out! And even if he's not ready, it will give him a taste of the Smooth Criminal so he knows what's waiting for him when he IS ready…"

Sebastian never thought he would see the day where he drew a comparison between the advice of his grandmother and that of Santana Lopez.

"Tana, Blaine does not just 'get his mack on' with people. Blaine is a guy who wants roses and all that stuff before he jumps into bed with someone. And I don't think he's kissed a single person since Hummel. Which would make me the rebound guy if I kiss him tonight. I am not going to be the fucking rebound guy."

"God Seb, you are so technical about this! No wonder you're going to be a scientist!"

"I'm not going to be a scientist. I am not even majoring in science. Seriously, think about college, San – it could help you actually understand what the hell I'm saying when I talk to you."

"Whatever. Just because you would be the first person to kiss him after Kurt does not automatically make you the rebound guy! The rebound guy is a faceless loser who happens to be in front of you a week or a month after your breakup. You either date that loser or just sleep with them and they go on their idiotic way in a day or a month or two. You, my friend, could never be that guy to Blaine. You're not strangers. So once you find your cajones and get those preppy lips in gear, you two idiots will either start dating and sexing like bunnies or you will get awkward but eventually go back to being friends."

"Or we will get awkward and never talk to each other again." He continued with a voice dripping in sarcasm. "But that´s okay, because I would still have your gold medal friendship." He rubbed his forehead, "So NO I'm not going to do anything until I'm sure the timing is right. I'm going to be damned sure I´m not still in cuddly eunuch territory."

"And how the hell are going to be so SURE you´re not in eunuch territory? You spent a week in a HOTEL ROOM in San Francisco with him and you didn't know, you've been home with him for a week in like, the next bedroom over, and you still don't know. The only way you're going to know if he thinks of you as a eunuch or a sex god is if you just friggin' kiss him and see if he slaps you or if he rips your clothes off. You should do it on that sleigh ride thing or at New Year's."

Sebastian snapped, "Snix, keep your beak out of this. I'm going to do whatever the hell I please whenever the hell I please."

Santana retorted, "What are you waiting for, a sign from God? You've been waiting for this for what, two years? This is it. This is IT. He's available. Kurt's fading away." She grew quieter but her tone was just as urgent. "What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of getting everything you've wanted?"

Sebastian was silent.

Finally, he spoke. "Look, 'Tana. I know you must be bored or whatever with your snoozefest of a New York relationship, but trying to shove me into one is not the solution. And all this bitching at me is not going to force my hand."

Santana laughed slyly. "I BET you can't wait to force your hand, baby!"

"And now I'm _actually_ hanging up on you."

"Okay okay, just think about what Auntie 'Tana said…"

"Goodbye, Santana."

"See you tomorrow night, Twink."

* * *

"Hurry up, Seb – we don't want to be late."

"I think this sleigh ride idea is insane," grumbled Sebastian as he wound his scarf around his neck in the front hall. "Unless you're skiing or snowboarding or doing something else athletic, being outside in the snow is idiotic. I hate being cold."

"You've been out to the lake in the snow since we've been back," said Blaine argued.

"On Christmas Eve it was to numb myself from the fact that I share DNA with my father; with Santana it was because I had had a hot pastrami from Delaney's. They don't make pastrami right in California and hot pastrami tastes better when you're outside for some reason. Plus Santana said if I didn't come with her she'd post an unseemly picture of me from Halloween on Instagram. I swear that is the only reason why I deal with her anymore."

"Oh come on," Blaine said. "It's an amazing idea, we'll get to see horses with sleighbells! And we'll all have to sing to keep warm…we haven't sung enough during this vacation so far. And there's been so much snow lately, there are actual drifts, and it's going to be sunny – we can make snowmen and snow angels!"

"Lying down in the snow…yes, this excursion just keeps sounding more and more delightful," Sebastian said, rolling his eyes.

"Ok, Captain Sarcasmo. You can stay home, then." Blaine pouted.

Sebastian relented. He could never stand when Blaine looked like that. He propped his chin on Blaine's head and softened his expression at their reflection in the hall mirror. "Okay, okay, okay…I´m sorry, Killer. Of course if you really want to go, I'll freeze my butt off and go…" He smiled at him. "If only to make sure you don't get lost in a snowdrift." He grabbed his down coat off the coat hook and covered Blaine with it.

"Argh! You're ruining my hair!" came Blaine's muffled shout as he struggled out from under the big coat.

"I'm just getting you ready for the snowdrifts!" Sebastian laughed wickedly.

Blaine threw the coat at him. "You are impossible," he said, fixing his hair in the mirror. Now put that on, we have to go! I don't want those horses to leave without us."

"We PayPaled Jeff our share of the rental so they'd better not leave without us," Sebastian said as he slipped his coat on and they ran out the door.

They pulled up to the designated meeting place, a local elementary school at the edge of town with a large parking lot. The lot however, was empty. Blaine said, "Where is everyone? I thought we were late."

Sebastian looked up from his phone. "Huh. Are we sure we're in the right place?" He opened up his Facebook app to find the event. " Leibfried Elementary, is that what this is?"

"That's what the sign said," Blaine said, puzzled. He took the phone from Sebastian. "Let me see the map on that, is it possible there is more than one Leibfried Elementary?"

"No way," Sebastian said, frowning.

"Oh shoot," Blaine said, noticing the time on the event. "We're here too early. We're supposed to be here at 1:30, not 1:00 – I must have put it in my calendar wrong."

"What?" Sebastian mocked, "Blaine Anderson, Social Secretary Extraordinaire, got a detail wrong?"

Blaine shoved at him. "Oh well, I guess we just wait, no point in going home, by the time we got there, it would be time to leave again." He looked out the window. "It really is so pretty when we have so much snow…it doesn't happen very often." He turned to Sebastian, who was looking out his window. "Let's go for a walk, come on."

Sebastian groaned, then tried a different tactic - he stuck out his lower lip and widened his green eyes. "But it's nice and warm in here," he pouted. "Don't make me come out any sooner than I have to."

Blaine chuckled and got out of the car. He opened the passenger door. " Oh please, you´re trying that? I INVENTED that. He extended his hand. "Walk with me – this will be a lovely memory when you're in California sweating bullets."

Sebastian shook his head but took Blaine's hand and climbed out of the car. He could never refuse Blaine Anderson's outstretched hand.

They walked on a path behind the elementary school grounds, briskly at first to warm up their blood. The sun shone down warmly and the sky was brilliantly blue. The trees loomed above them. The dark branches made little shelves for the snow and huge drifts had been pushed along the sides of a path in the woods behind the school. For once, they didn´t banter at all - Sebastian was too cold and Blaine was too awed by the beauty around them. And it wasn't long before the romantic setting made them both feel suddenly shy.

Bolstered by the talk with his mother the day prior, Blaine joined their gloved hands.

[ ](http://imgur.com/sR8yaMP)

Sebastian looked at him and smiled as Blaine began to sing in his smoothest crooner´s voice:

_[Winter Wonderland](http://youtube.com/watch?v=EUpx9YXKUEI)_

_Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?_  
 _In the lane, snow is glistening_  
 _A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight_  
 _Walking in a winter wonderland_  
  
Sebastian joined in.  
 _Gone away is the Bluebird_  
 _Here to stay is a new bird_  
 _He sings a love song while we stroll along_  
 _Walking in a winter wonderland_  
  
 _In the meadow we can build a snowman_  
 _We'll pretend that he is Parson Brown_  
 _He'll say, "Are you married?" We'll say, "No man"_  
 _But you can do the job when you're in town_

 _Later on, we'll conspire_  
 _As we dream by the fire_  
 _To face unafraid_  
 _The plans that we've made_  
 _Walking in a winter wonderland_

Sebastian laughed when they finished. "That is seriously one of the cheesiest Christmas carols."

Blaine smiled at him, swinging their hands. "Aw, you love it. It's one of the most romantic Christmas carols! Getting married at Christmas time, dreaming by the fire? You were singing with feeling, Sebastian Smythe you can't deny it. You are way more romantic than you let on..."

Sebastian didn't say anything, choosing instead to run ahead on the path. "I'm also a great actor! Come on B, catch me if you can!"

Blaine scampered through the snow after him and slid on the path before crashing into Sebastian, laughing. Then he stopped suddenly. "Seb, look! A cardinal!"

Sebastian looked up just in time to see a flash of red take flight amongst snowy branches. "Okay, that was worth the price of admission," he said, looking impressed.

"See! I told you you'd have fun," Blaine said triumphantly.

Sebastian shook his head. "Well this is us running around - and that cardinal was badass. What we are about to embark on is being shoehorned into an uncomfortable box on runners and freezing our asses off while Trent tells us about his favorite recipe for peppermint bark."

Blaine laughed. "We should turn around, it's probably almost time for everyone to arrive. Race you back!" He bolted to get a headstart.

Sebastian ran at a moderate pace behind him, only to sprint forward as they approached the elementary school, throwing his arms around Blaine´s waist to catch him.

Blaine laughed, turning around to face Sebastian. His cheeks were like roses and his hair curled underneath his cap.

Sebastian didn't let go. He didn't take his arms from around Blaine's tiny waist because...well there was no other explanation except that he suddenly really, really wanted to kiss Blaine.

But Blaine was too busy laughing to notice. He scrambled away, yelling "Look, there are the swings!"

Sebastian caught up with him on the school playground, amused at the sight of Blaine pumping his legs to get higher as he swung.

Sebastian sat down on the swing next to him, twisting around on it.

"Aw, poor Seb, too tall to swing," Blaine stuck out his lower lip as he looked down at him in the trajectory of his swinging.

Sebastian got up and turned himself around to lay his chest and abs down on the swing. "When I was a kid, I used to love to swing like this and pretend I was Superman. Of course the recess teachers said it was against the rules."

Blaine chuckled, "And I suppose that never stopped you."

"Of course not," Sebastian smiled, his knees scraping against the ground before he got up – it was just too uncomfortable for a 6'2" person bundled up in an overcoat. He sat down again on the swing again, this time sitting the other direction so he could see Blaine better, his long legs extended forward.

There was a comfortable silence, the only sounds were Blaine swinging through the air and the sound of the chains on Sebastian´s swing twisting.

Blaine´s swing slowed as he stopped pumping his legs. He said wistfully, "Sometimes I wish I was still a kid. It seems like things were so much simpler back then."

Sebastian looked thoughtful. "They were and they weren´t, I think. I find nostalgia amusing - people block out all the crap of ´yesteryear.´ When we were younger, the world seemed just as complex I think, because we didn´t know how much more complicated things were going to get. Figuring out how to sidestep a bully at recess and answering stupid reading comprehension questions back then was just as annoying as juggling college admissions or figuring out what sides of the issues you are on to vote intelligently."

"True," Blaine said, staring at the snow covered playground slide. "But there were longer stretches of play to shake off any stresses."

"You clearly didn´t have to do extra math workbooks after school with Grandmother Fondeur."

"Oh, my mom made me do extra stuff, too. But I don´t think things were just simpler in terms of our problems. Our mindset was simpler. We were more trusting, optimistic - less jaded."

Sebastian looked at Blaine, concerned about the tone of his voice.

But Blaine was brightening as he looked around the playground. "You know what though? The best antidote to feeling jaded is to spend time with kids. That´s why I love hanging out with Stevie and Stacey. Maybe that´s why Sam always has such a good attitude. And when I have my own kids some day. I´ll get to relive childhood through their eyes."

Sebastian stood up and started to push Blaine lightly on the swing. He spoke thoughtfully. "I used to think I didn´t want kids. Babies might be cute and all, but they are also kind of disgusting - fluids everywhere. And the rest of it just sounds exhausting: keeping them from doing stupid things, tantrums, soccer practices..."

"Oh I don't think all of that is as bad when it´s your kid, I think."

Sebastian came around to the front of Blaine and reached an arm across Blaine to grab both chains and stop the swing. "That´s what I´ve heard. I´ve also heard kids learn most by your example - so I feel for any offspring of mine." He didn´t move away, instead he slid his hands up the chain and hung on them, leaning down to smile softly and look at Blaine fondly.

Blaine didn´t get up. Instead he looked up into Sebastian´s eyes with affection. "I think you´d be a great dad. You were great with Stacey and Stevie. Plus you would have help." Blaine started to blush slightly as he realized just how much closer Sebastian had gotten. He seemed to be sliding his hands down the chains of the swing, bit by bit, bringing his face closer and closer to Blaine. "You´d have a partner." Blaine said softly, feeling like he was swimming in Sebastian's green eyes.

Their breath made steam in the cold air. Sebastian´s voice was low and he looked seriously into Blaine's eyes. "Yeah I guess..." he looked down. "It could be okay..." he looked back up with the same serious gaze. "Even good…" he inched lower down the swing chains. "With..." Blaine could see their breath intermingle. "The right…" he felt chills down his spine, "person."

"Right." Blaine breathed. "With...the right...person."

"SEBASTIAN! BLAINE!" Stacey and Stevie came running up, with Sam several yards behind them.

Sebastian let go of the swing quickly and turned around to Stacey slamming into him to hug his legs. Blaine jumped up from the swing and hugged Stevie.

"Hey guys," Sam said, walking up. "Keepin´ warm?"

"You could say that," Sebastian said wryly, as he lifted Stacey onto a swing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, we love hearing from you, so please keep your feedback coming, no matter how small – curious which are your favorite lines, characters, which platonic ships are your favorites, etc. They each have their own flavor. Thomas loves Seb and Coop, Sebam is a favorite all around, there's lots of love for Sebtana, Dori I think loves them all and I think there is a new fanbase (Kelly, for Seb and Mr. Anderson (Richbastian)…have fun with us and drop a review or a PM!
> 
> Also loving the suggestions, though I can't guarantee they will all make it in this story. They could however, come in part three of the trilogy (Stop the Wedding being part 1, this one being part two) ' but no promises. But we are considering all ideas so keep them coming! I will say that Faye, your wish is coming true.


	11. New Year's Eve - Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year's Eve shenanigans courtesy of Sam and Santana. Blaine and Sebastian consider the age-old tradition of kissing at midnight on New Year's Eve!

¨What's this all about Sam? I have never been early for a party in my life." Santana said, sitting down on Mike´s couch and examining her fingernails.

Sam replied while counting heads: ¨Hold on, let me make sure everyone is here: Tina, Trent, Jeff, David, Santana, Mike, Artie, Kitty…¨

The group sat down on the floor on various seats around Mike's large basement.

Sam looked at Nick, who nodded at him, and then spoke dramatically. ¨Okay, Nick and I have called you here to be part of a very special operations unit for tonight: TEAM SEBLAINE."

¨NOOOOOOOOOO!"

¨Yes! What's the plan?¨

¨Seb - blaine? Sebastian? And Blaine? Are they a thing now?¨

¨Where have _you_ been? Didn't you see them on the sleigh ride today?¨

¨Wait, is he the tall one that kinda looks like a serial killer?¨

Nick yelled over the din, "Guys, guys, hear him out."

Sam stood up on the coffee table. Mike gave him a look. Sam got off the coffee table and got up on a folding chair, waving his arms to quiet the group down. "I know, I know what you´re thinking. Some of you think Sebastian is Lord Voldemort and some of you think they are a weird combination. I don´t blame you. A couple of months ago when the two of them started getting all cuddly on our vacation to San Francisco, I thought the whole thing was suspect. But I'm Blaine's best friend…"

"ONE of his best friends," Tina corrected him.

Sam rolled his eyes at her. "And I am his roommate and I can tell you that Seb´s really done some good stuff for Blaine in the last couple of months. He makes Blaine pretty happy, actually. I also can tell you that I have other intel which, though I can´t reveal any specifics, makes me very sure that Sebastian is not out to use and abuse Blaine.¨

¨But what about Kurt?¨ Artie asked.

" There's a reason Kurt wasn´t invited to the party tonight." Sam gave a sympathetic glance to Mike, who was looking guilty. "He and Blaine saw each other before Christmas and decided that they still want to give each other space and let the universe do its thing. So Nick and I think we all need to support Blaine in getting back out there to date other people, and we think Seb is a good option!" Sam did his best Bill Clinton impression, complete with hand gestures.

" Since when are you calling him SEB?" Tina asked, looking wary.

"Since I started to getting to know him, Tina." Sam gave her a dirty look. "Why do you always have to be so suspicious? He´s not such a bad guy once you get to know him. Right, Santana?"

" _She´s_ your celebrity endorsement?" Tina laughed. "Good luck, Sam.¨ She walked away. Mike followed her, looking concerned. Santana rolled her eyes.

"TINA! Why do you have to be so...uuh!" Sam yelled after her in frustration.

Mike said something to Tina quietly and turned her around before she was out of the room. She stood by the door with her arms crossed, looking reluctant and impatient.

Nick calmly took over the reins. "Look you guys, Sebastian has definitely been a jackass in the past but I can tell you that he's changed a lot and he genuinely likes Blaine. I would even go so far as to say that he's in love. Sam and I have seen how he is different around Blaine. He's… sweeter."

Artie looked skeptical. "Sweet? Sweet like rat poison…"

Kitty said to Artie, "Now wait a minute..." She looked thoughtful, then arched an eyebrow at him, hands on her hips. "Hey, remember when people thought I wasn't sweet enough for you?" She turned to Sam. "Winky and Dinky were kind of cute throwing flour at each other the other night. I'm in."

Artie's eyes widened and Santana gave her a nod of approval.

"Yeah!" Sam said, with a big smile for Kitty. "That's true, they're kind of like you and Artie! I think he's good for Blaine, and Blaine's good for him."

Nick addressed the group again. "So Sam and I were just talking this afternoon about how it's such a shame that Seb and Blaine haven't started dating yet – they both obviously like each other, but they are both too chicken to make the first move. So we figured New Year's Eve is the perfect time for them kiss, which will force the issue and hopefully get them to finally admit their feelings to each other."

Sam added in his Mission Impossible voice, "So your mission, should you choose to accept it…"

"I don't accept it," Tina muttered to Mike, who rolled his eyes.

Sam was gesturing dramatically, "is to get those two primed for a kiss at midnight. Do what you can to encourage their romantical… romanticness…"

"Romantic feelings for each other," Nick finished for him.

"Right," Sam said, "Do what you can to encourage their romantic feelings for each other…BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY."

Nick said reasonably, "Like getting them to dance together, or when they are around maybe you could start conversations about romantic movies or couples or places to visit. Maybe some very subtle teasing – not so much that Sebastian decks you, but just enough for Blaine to blush and for Seb to soften around the edges a little."

Artie snarked, "I like a plan that involves me getting decked by a guy like thirteen times as tall as me in my chair. And Sebastian ain't no gentle giant like Finn Hudson."

Sam ignored this. "MOST IMPORTANTLY, do everything you can to make sure they are standing next to each other at midnight!"

Nick said, "I was thinking that at 11:50, if they aren't standing together, Santana and Kitty could ask each of them to get you a drink. They are both polite enough to do that and they can meet at the drink table and have to kiss at midnight!"

"But it's going to be kind of crowded, so it might be hard," Sam said with a gleam in his eye. "SO if they are not standing next to each other at 11:55, one of you can pretend to hit me…"

Tina's raised her hand. "I'll take care of that!"

Sam looked at her, confused. "I thought you weren't on board with Team Seblaine?"

"I'm on board with hitting you."

Sam continued after rolling his eyes at her. "I said you would PRETEND to hit me. I will be standing next to Sebastian and will fake a nosebleed and faint. This will require Seb and the tallest of you – Trent, David, Jeff – to lift me up to carry me out of the room. But when we reach wherever Blaine is standing, I'll tell you all that I'm fine and you can drop me…"

"I'll take care of that!" Tina raised her hand again. Mike rolled his eyes again.

Sam glared at her. "So that will stop Sebastian right in front of Blaine!"

David asked, "But what if Blaine isn't standing between Sebastian and the door?"

Jeff asked, "How do you fake a nosebleed?"

"I'll take care of that!" Tina's arm shot up. Mike gave her a stern look and Sam stuck his tongue out at her.

Nick said gently, "Maybe that's too complicated, Sam. I think my idea can work…but does anyone else have any other ideas? Not just at midnight, but to get them in the mood to kiss? We are very open to suggestions on how to make this happen."

Artie snickered, "How about we play spin the bottle, y'all? Or 7 minutes in heaven!"

"Too much risk involved. If he ends up having too much to drink, Blaine could end up making out with a chick or a hat rack or something," Sam dismissed him. "Get serious, Artie!"

David spoke up, "Wait, he might have something there. We could just make sure Blaine DOES have too much to drink and then just stick him in front of Seb at midnight."

"THAT'S what I'm talking about!" Sam highfived an amused David, but then paused. "The only thing is, Blaine hasn't been drinking as much since he puked all over his shoes on Halloween. But it's worth a shot! Those who are good at peer pressure, step up to the plate, please!"

Mike piped up. "Blaine was just going to sing a 'Paperback Writer,' tonight, but maybe I could convince him to do a more sexy or romantic song."

"Great idea," Nick agreed.

Santana stood up, looking taller in her 5 inch heels. Everyone stared at her and she waited for their silence for dramatic effect. "Youse all can just leave this to Auntie Snix. I gots only one word for you."

The room listened in hushed expectation.

"Twister."

* * *

"You're being so stupid, Sam! It's so obvious he's bribing you with those comic books!" Tina argued hotly as she selected a wine cooler from the drink table.

Sam looked at Sebastian a few paces away in the crowded room. "SHH! They're gonna hear you," He said in a loud whisper. "Sebastian is not bribing me. He was just being thoughtful."

"Wait, are YOU in love with him?" Tina asked. "Is this whole Seblaine thing a cover-up for a crush you have on him?"

Sam groaned. "NOOOO! Man, why do you have to be so paranoid? You are seriously the most untrusting person I know – have some faith, give Sebastian a chance!"

"I did give him a chance. Then he nearly blinded Blaine when he was trying to get Kurt. That was all the chance he deserved."

"Give him a second chance. Blaine gave him a second chance. Blaine forgave him. Why can't you? Blaine gave YOU a second chance after you vapo-rubbed him!"

"THAT WAS A PHASE!" Tina threw her hands in the air. "Why can't you stop bringing that back up! You are so infuriating! You, with your abs and your pecs and your bulging biceps – totally wasted on you because you're such an DOOFUS!"

"Look Tina, the bottom line is, if you are one of Blaine's best friends, why can't you help me do something that could be really great for Blaine? You know he's had a rough couple of months, heck you know he's had a rough _year_. Sebastian puts a real smile on his face, why can't you help them get together?"

"Sam, if you're right about Sebastian – which I don't think you are – Blaine should do this on his own , not because of your meddling!"

"I'm just helping to get them in the right place at the right time! You know Blaine needs a push now and then! You've pushed him yourself, a lot!"

"You know Sam, what I don't appreciate is you trying to push ME into your hair-brained scheme."

"FINE," Sam huffed. "We don't need you, anyway." He turned and disappeared into the crowd of people at the party.

"FINE!" Tina shouted at the back of his head.

"I'm with you," Trent said in a low voice to Tina.

Tina jumped, then turned around and looked at him in puzzlement.

"I am not on board with the whole Seblaine thing."

Tina's eyes widened. "Oh, I thought I was the only one! Mike and Sam keep going on and on about how I'm in love with Blaine – and I'm not. That was just a phase. I just don't think Sebastian's good enough for him. I think he's just taking advantage of Blaine while he's been in a vulnerable position after his almost-wedding."

"Exactly," Trent said. "And Sebastian's rude and conceited and has sketchy morals… Blaine deserves better. Blaine deserves a guy who appreciates him and will be nice to him and can take care of him and is understanding and sensitive…"

Tina looked at Trent and raised her eyebrows. "Are YOU in love with him?"

Trent hesitated, then spoke too hastily. "No, of course not."

"Right," Tina said with a knowing look. "Well you and I can be Team Anti-Seblaine. At midnight we'll be right next to them and make sure it doesn't happen, ok? Instead of kissing each other…"

"I'll just tell Blaine to kiss me," Trent said too casually…"You know, like bros do."

Tina raised her eyebrows. "I was thinking they'd be more comfortable kissing girls they know well because it seems more innocent that way. I can kiss Blaine and I'll make sure Santana is nearby and push Sebastian to kiss her. Her girlfriend is back in New York and she won't have any good reason to turn him down."

Trent looked slightly disappointed but nodded, knowing her plan made more sense.

Tina jumped as Sebastian and Blaine appeared behind Trent.

"Hi there!" she said too brightly.

"Hey guys, stop monopolizing the bar!" Blaine said lightheartedly.

Trent and Tina moved over, looking a little guilty.

"Hey guys," Sebastian spoke in his matter of fact tone, but Tina and Trent could tell he was in a good mood.

There was an awkward pause as Sebastian and Blaine noticed the odd looks Tina and Trent had on their faces. Sebastian took on a guarded expression while Blaine tried to make polite conversation. "So Trent, your Facebook updates have been so fun this quarter! Is Cornell as beautiful as all those photos look?"

"Definitely," Trent gushed. "You should come visit and see for yourself!" Tina arched an eyebrow at him and Sebastian looked at him with suspicion.

Blaine replied with a smile. "I'd love to. It seems so fun, it looks like you've gotten really active with the LGBT scene there, that's awesome!"

Trent beamed. "Yeah, it's been really great, we've been doing a lot of education on campus, leading panel discussions in the fraternity and sorority houses, doing some outreach to local high schools. It's been really satisfying to debunk a lot of stereotypes and talk about…" he paused, a small smile appearing on his face. "We talk about assumptions people make about gays." He looked sideways at Tina. " Like how at a party like this, where there are only three gay guys in the room, a lot of people would assume that the three of us would want to kiss each other at midnight, just because we're gay!"

Blaine and Sebastian looked in different directions. Tina chimed in too enthusiastically. "Yeah, isn't that ridiculous!"

Sebastian turned back to Blaine and said under his breath, "He's right if he means that I'd rather kiss Tina than him."

Blaine stifled a laugh and turned to Trent with a half smile. "Yeah, people are funny…"

Puck had been half listening to their conversation as he watched Santana yelling at Sam about something. He interjected with a conspiratorial grin at Blaine and Sebastian…"Yeah…so who IS everyone here kissing at midnight?"

Sebastian was casual, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking across the room as he spoke. "Not sure there always needs to be a plan, Agent Puckerman. Not everyone wants to be kissed at midnight in a public spot."

"But it's tradition!" Artie said, winking at Kitty as they joined the conversation.

Blaine was also trying to be casual. "That's true, don't rain on their parade, Seb – just kiss whoever happens to be standing nearby at midnight." Then he made a mental note to stick to Sebastian like glue when it got to be close to midnight.

"Once again, the lack of boundaries in the New Directions is wildly disturbing," Sebastian remarked with a smirk, earning a laugh that rippled through the group.

"GAME TIME!" Santana called out from a corner of the basement.

Blaine laughed as he turned towards her, "This is always a fun part of the night."

Sebastian looked at him. "I am _not_ playing spin the bottle – again, with the boundaries..."

Blaine whispered to him with a grin, "And what kind of boundaries did you have with all those boys at Scandals?"

"I never kissed on the mouth, ever." Sebastian said haughtily. He broke into a chuckle however, and tugged at Blaine's arm. "Come on, let's go mess around on the karaoke instead."

"Oh, we can at least watch the games!" Blaine gestured for Sebastian to follow him across the room.

Sebastian gave in and they crossed with a few others to the other end of the large basement where a crowd was discussing what game to play first. When Santana noticed Blaine and Sebastian joining the group, she said "Hey you two, you two going to play?" She handed Blaine a wine cooler. "I'd offer you one, but I know better, Snobby. There ain't no top shelf scotch around here."

Blaine thanked her with a smile, but Sebastian looked bored and didn't look at Santana.

"Seb, you are such a drag," Santana said, crossing the circle. She took Blaine by the shoulders and steered him over to her spot next to the built-in bookshelves. "Blainers, you come over here with me – I want you on my team. Your vacation housemate there has been monopolizing my time so much, I've barely spent any time with you, Shortcake."

Suddenly Sam said in stiff and too loud voice, "I don't know, I'm tired of the same old drinking games. Let's play some board games while we're drunk!"

"How about Monopoly?" Jeff said too brightly.

Sebastian leaned over to Nick. "Is this some kind of skit?"

"That's totally boring," Thad said.

Ryder said, "How about Taboo? The buzzer could be pretty hilarious after a few more Tequila shots!"

Marley, Jake, Thad and Tina sounded enthusiastic about it. Kitty, Artie, Santana, Sam, Nick, Jeff, David, Sam and especially Sam hooted them down - very loudly.

Blaine looked good-naturedly indifferent to the debate. Sebastian was arching an eyebrow at Santana and eyeing the naysaying group suspiciously. He said in an aside to Jeff, "You guys are are about as subtle as a Chris Matthews. What the hell are you up to, Sterling?"

Jeff didn't answer.

Thad complained, "Well if you guys are so against Taboo…what DO you want to play?"

"TWISTER!" the opposing group all said at once.

Sebastian shook his head at Santana. He crossed the circle and hissed in her ear, "Very subtle. Nuanced, even. Really, Tana – you're capable of so much more than this." He smacked her ass.

Santana gave him a sassy smile, "I don't know what you're talking about, Slick."

"I'm out of here," he said darkly. He started to leave the circle.

"Seb, where are you going? Stay and at least watch. This should be funny!" Blaine said, widening his big eyes.

Santana smirked, deciding that the less said, the better. Blaine's eyes were doing the work.

Sebastian said in an undertone, "B, I just…"

"Come on, Seb. I love Twister – I haven't played it since I was a kid. Remember we talked about reliving our childhood? Stay and at least laugh at me?" The widened eyes morphed into the puppy dog eyes and Sebastian was done for.

He sat down on a folding chair next the bookcase, arms crossed. Blaine looked concerned. "Seb, if you really don't want to…"

"It's okay, B." Sebastian said evenly.

"Now where is the Twister game?" Santana asked Mike.

"All the games are over on the bottom shelf of the bookcase," Mike replied. He leaned down. "Wait, where is the Twister?" He looked genuinely puzzled.

"Oh I see it," Santana said smoothly. "It's on the top shelf up there. Seb, can you reach it? You're the tallest one here, I think."

Sebastian flashed her a dirty look that said " _What now_?" He got up, but even he couldn't reach it from the shelf in the floor to ceiling wall unit.

Blaine said, "I think I can reach it if I get on your chair." He hopped up gracefully and Sebastian knew in an instant what Santana was up to. Blaine's perfect ass was positioned directly in front of Sebastian's sight line. His gaze hesitated for a moment too long before he turned around to give Santana another dirty look.

Kitty happened to be standing next to him and noticed the look he was giving Santana. She said in a casual aside to him, "Santana really is every bit the bitch everyone says she is. But you might as well enjoy the view."

Sebastian looked at her with an expression that questioned her existence in his life.

Kitty remarked flippantly. "Don't give me that look, Stanford. It's not like the rest of us are blind. But while Santana is as subtle as a dog in heat, you might as well enjoy the show she's putting on. Then if you want to thwart her, just don't give her the satisfaction of giving her the end result she wants… assuming she's trying to get you to kiss Blaine."

Sebastian's expression reflected that a modicum of respect was growing in his mind for the little blonde.

He decided try her advice on for size and stepped back to have a good look at the wiggling backside of Blaine trying to reach the shelf.

Blaine finally turned around, shrugging and giving up. "I guess I'm not tall enough even with this chair," he said with a smile. Smirking at Santana, Sebastian hopped up on the folding chair to stand behind Blaine, causing whispers amongst the group. To fit on the chair together, Sebastian stepped a foot between Blaine's legs and pressed their bodies together so he could reach the Twister box. His groin pressed up against Blaine's perfect ass and he felt a rush of blood to where it counted. This strategy was backfiring. He jumped down with the box and offered a hand to help a blushing Blaine step down.

Sebastian smirked at Santana again as he handed her the box. He whispered to her, "Do what you want, it's not going to happen."

Artie pulled Kitty down to whisper in her ear. "The reverse psychology thing is risky. What if he really follows your advice and doesn't kiss him at midnight?"

"Please," she said. "Blaine's ass makes this whole thing easier than a 2nd grade math test. Mike told me Blaine is going to sing one hot little number later. Between that and Twister, Sebastian is going to work himself up to a point where he's going to have to kiss Blaine at midnight or jerk off in the bathroom. I'd put money on the kiss - he's lived in Paris. I bet he's more romantic that he lets on."

Sebastian settled down again in his chair and the game started, with Santana at the spinner. Within a couple of rigged turns of play, she conveniently positioned Blaine in a downward dog position in front of Sebastian's chair. Sebastian smirked at her as he enjoyed the view, whispering just loud enough for her to hear: "BUT NO KISS AT MIDNIGHT."

[](http://imgur.com/Of7uYjP)

Nick said casually to him as the play progressed, "So I heard from Sam that you two will be in Paris together next summer…" Sebastian gave him an evil look.

"Yes, with Sam and his younger brother and sister," Sebastian said. "Duvall, you are as bad of an actor as Santana and Sam. Are you trying to get me to have sex with Blaine tonight? Or just propose marriage?"

Nick grinned, "Either will do, man."

Sebastian laughed in spite of himself. "Someone get me a goddamned drink," he said to no one in particular.

Jeff immediately put a Jack and Coke in his hand.

"Sterling, it's always entertaining to have you in on a plot." Sebastian drawled. "Between this and your Klaine stakeout, you may soon graduate into Duvall's class of nosy, meddling idiocy."

Nick stuck his nose in the air. "He can only wish for such a speedy ascent!"

Sebastian swigged the Jack and Coke and laughed again. "You are hopeless, Duvall."

"Remember it all comes out of love, Seb – love for you, love for Blaine, and love for all the money you'll bestow on me if you two eventually get together and recognize me with a cash bonus for all I've done to bring about your union."

"You are delusional. But I always knew you were only friendly to me for my money."

Ten minutes later, Blaine had shifted various positions, all of which required him to stick his ass in the air. For a final touch, Santana called a color that required him to spread his legs with his backside still in the air directly in front of Sebastian.

Sebastian was on his second Jack and Coke and rolled his eyes. At the last spin, he called out, "Lopez, you are the smoothest criminal that ever lived!"

"Always happy to oblige!" she said, waving and smiling from across the way.

Mike fell down with a crash at that moment, toppling Blaine.

"And Young Elvis wins this round!" Santana announced, and all their friends applauding. "SECOND ROUND!" Santana called. "Sebastian Smythe, your turn! You have told me what I believe to be baldfaced lies about your flexibility! I want to see how pliable those oversized appendages are!"

"Not finished with my drink, 'Tana." Sebastian called. "Pick on another poor bastard."

Santana started making clucking noises and the crowd followed suit.

"You people are ridiculous," Sebastian said, downing the rest of his Jack and Coke. "Can't a man finish his drink without being subjected to poultry mating calls?"

He got up and shrugged his blazer off. Almost immediately Sam "accidentally" splashed water on his chest.

"SAM!" Sebastian yelled.

"Sorry dude, I'm such a klutz."

"LET'S GO!" Santana called. "A little water never hurt anyone."

"Neither did a little wet t-shirt action!" Unique called, more than a little tipsy on her 3rd margarita. Santana, Puck, Ryder and Thad hooted and hollered as well.

Sebastian gave Sam a dirty look. "Really, you're in on this too?"

Sam gave him his best innocent stare. Sebastian sighed. "This is a fucking conspiracy."

"RIGHT HAND RED!" shouted Santana.

Sebastian crouched down and put his right hand down, but in his second move he made the mistake of putting himself in a crab walk position after deciding he didn't want to stick his ass in the air. Santana knew it was Seb's mistake as she watched Blaine, who was sipping on his wine cooler, stare at Sebastian's wet t-shirt, which was stuck to his chest, strong arms, flat abs and broad shoulders. Santana's guess as to why Blaine' mouth was hanging open? The hardened nipples visible under the almost completely transparent white fabric.

Sebastian was oblivious to his objectification because he was too busy shooting death glares at various members of the snickering peanut gallery: Sam, Nick, Jeff, Kitty, and Santana.

Ten minutes later, Sebastian had won his round and was then invited to the final round, where of course he would play against Blaine and the token third player, Trent.

Naturally Trent blushed as he was positioned near Blaine, and then predictably was the first one out. This left Sebastian and Blaine. Blaine laughed and blushed as they were put into position where he had to crouch down and press his backside into Sebastian's chest and his leg right into Sebastian's upper, inner thigh. Sebastian glared at Santana as he felt himself start to get hard. When the cat calls started he toppled himself over and Blaine was declared the winner.

Mike came over to Blaine and said, "Blaine, you're up!"

Blaine stood up spluttering. "How did you? I'm not…"

Mike looked at him, his brow furrowed. "What? You're opening the live performances tonight, come on."

"Oh, right!" Blaine blushed.

Sebastian remembered the Blaine had promised to perform a Beatles song on his guitar for the party, so he threaded his way through the crowd to stand in front. Seeing Blaine perform live was one of his favorite things from high school. Hell, it was one of his favorite things, period.

Sebastian was surprised as Blaine approached the microphone stand without his guitar. Unique, Tina and Marley poised themselves at microphones behind him. And Sam picked up an electric guitar, Jake was at the keyboards, and Ryder played drums.

They started the song and Blaine jumped right into his sexiest stage persona, with the three girls writhing behind him for added effect _[author's note: hear it[here]](http://metacafe.com/watch/8305118/prince_raspberry_beret/) _.

[](http://imgur.com/bdfNJRH)

_Yeah_  
 _I was working part time in a five-and-dime_  
 _My boss was Mr. McGee_  
 _He told me several times that he didn't like my kind_  
 _Cause I was a bit 2 leisurely_  
 _Seems that I was busy doing something close 2 nothing  
_ _But different than the day before_

_That's when I saw him, Ooh, I saw him_  
 _He walked in through the out door, out door_  
 _He wore a Raspberry beret_  
 _The kind U find in a second hand store_  
 _Raspberry beret_  
 _And if it was warm he wouldn't wear much more_

_Listen_  
 _They say the first time ain't the greatest_  
 _But I tell ya_  
 _If I had the chance 2 do it all again_  
 _I wouldn't change a stroke_  
 _Cause baby I'm the most  
_ _With a guy as fine as he was then_

It was Blaine singing Prince. _For fuck's sake._ This was going to be the death of him. He was Sebastian Smythe, a man with an iron will…but even _he_ was not a friggin' monk. He had spent ten days reigning himself in with the steely resolve he had, for better or for worse, gotten from his father. These ten days included several nights of holding back the urge to make his way to Blaine's bedroom after waking in the middle of the night to a sound or a dream. And now, any good karma he had built up from ten days of upstanding, turned-over-a-new leaf behavior were going to hell-in-a-handbasket. The steely resolve of the great Sebastian Smythe was about to fall apart after one performance by Blaine Anderson, who sang like an angel and danced like a stripper. After the last note there was pretty much nothing that was going to stop him from getting up on that stage, throwing Blaine over his shoulder and carrying him upstairs to find Mike Chang's bedroom and having mind-blowing sex they would never, EVER forget.

Some mind-blowing sex that could ruin everything he really wanted long term with Blaine. He was going to kill Santana, Nick, Sam or whoever the hell was responsible for this.

Or maybe he was going to thank them, because holy shit Blaine had never looked sexier.

Santana came over, undulating to the beat.

"I hate you," he said with gritted teeth.

"You do not," laughed Santana. "Blaine's giving you his bedroom eyes!"

He was. _And damn, the curls are coming undone. Fuck, I'M coming undone._

Santana grabbed Sebastian by the hips and danced around him. "And look at little B's hips! He's such a tease!"

Sebastian ignored her and kept nodding his head and giving his encouraging smile to Blaine. _Ugh she's right…he's teasing me with that hip swivel…his sweat is dripping down his cheekbones, down his neck, under his collar. And hot damn his ass looks magnificent in those pants. Fuck, she really shouldn't be touching me when he's dancing like that. Fuck._

With a deep breath, Sebastian broke free from Santana and walked over to David, who looked like a safe haven in the midst of the madness. David was talking earnestly with Wes. "You know, as much as I love you guys, I wish I was in Berkeley right now," said David. There's a girl I've fallen hard for and I wish I could be there to kiss her at midnight."

Wes was sympathetic. "At least it's under a week before you see her again. That will be a happy reunion."

David replied, "Well, I don't even know that. I don't really know how she feels about me – I may be in 'the friend zone' still, for all I know." He glanced at Sebastian. "New Year's would be the perfect time to find out - one kiss is worth a million words, if you asked me."

Sebastian groaned. "David? Really? Et tu, Brutus?"

[](http://imgur.com/H2TYFlm)

David chuckled and patted him on the back. "What can I say man, you two would make a damn cute couple!"

_[David at the party: imgurDOTcom/H2TYFlm]_

The song ended and Blaine came off the stage. Sebastian practically bolted in the opposite direction.

Blaine came over to David and Wes and gestured toward Sebastian. "Where's he off to?"

"I don't know…maybe the restroom?" Wes suggested.

Blaine said, "Well I'm headed there myself, I need a towel – it was hot up there, I'm sweating buckets!"

Meanwhile, Sebastian had run into Kitty at the drink table. He poured a Jack Daniels for himself, regretting that he hadn't brought his own flask.

"You should have that on the rocks," Kitty said, offering the ice bucket. "'Cause you looked like you needed a little cooling off after Blaine's number."

Sebastian didn't take the ice and looked her coldly. "That's the second time you've given me random, unsolicited advice tonight. Do I even know you?"

"I'm Kitty, you know me from the Gershwin rehearsals for the Klaine bachelor party. I was one of your best dancers, I know you must have tracked that. I was also at Blaine's the other night with Sam's little brother and sister, making cupcakes. Don't pretend you don't remember me even if we've never actually had a conversation. Cupcakes. You must remember the cupcakes." Kitty gave him a cool smile.

[](http://imgur.com/D8t2oLM)

"Right - cupcakes." Sebastian said absently, sipping his whiskey. She was certainly a bold little thing.

"You should also know that I'm the current reigning bitch at McKinley. I've heard about you from Blaine and Artie. I heard that you were the equivalent at Dalton for a couple years running, so I figured I should come meet you properly in the flesh and see if you were all that."

Sebastian didn't respond. He pretended to watch Jeff lead a couple of the Warblers in a boyband number. He was considering what to do at midnight, which was only about 5-10 minutes away. He didn't want to open a can of worms by kissing Blaine if the timing still wasn't right for them. He didn't want to be cut off at the pass before he even got started. Or maybe he was making a too much out of a trivial New Year's kiss. Except his first kiss with Blaine would never be trivial. But he was going to go nuts if he didn't get to at least kiss Blaine after getting to press his cock up against him a couple times tonight. Add to that the sex angel Prince performance and the night was going to be boiling down to at least car sex after the party. He was getting hard just thinking about it. He shook himself. But what if Blaine wasn't ready? It hadn't been that long ago since Blaine had been sobbing in his bed over Hummel.

Kitty looked like she was reading his thoughts. "I know I said earlier that you should piss Santana off by not kissing him, but the more I think about it, the more I think you're screwed either way. You kiss him, everyone whoops and hollers and embarrasses you. If you don't, they're all over your ass anyway. So I say you kiss him – just in case Blaine is into you. If he's into you, he would be disappointed or hurt if you didn't kiss him. And even if you're not into him, you should throw him that bone. And if it turns out he's not into you, it's a harmless New Year's kiss you can both shrug it off without embarrassment."

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at her.

"But don't give Santana the satisfaction of a French kiss, Monsieur Smythe. And don't try to save your pride by making it seem like someone forced you to kiss him, 'cause that'll hurt Blaine's feelings no matter what . He deserves better treatment."

Sebastian took another drink. She scored points with him for thinking of Blaine. "I'm glad to hear someone is thinking how Blaine might feel in Santana's whole ridiculous scheme."

"Give him a casual peck and get the idiots off of your back. Then you two can decide later where to go from there," Kitty said casually.

There was a pause. Sebastian looked amused. "Machivellian. Hell, you're like a mini-Santana," he smirked.

"Mini-Quinn," she corrected him.

"Whatever, you bossy girl glee clubbers are all exhausting. Happy New Year, Cupcake." He strode away towards the stage.

Artie rolled up to her. "Done," Kitty said with a smirk.

In the bathroom, Blaine mopped off his forehead and neck as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was exhilarated from his performance and feeling bold. It was New Year's, 2014, and this was going to be the year when he got it right with Sebastian. Even though there they were there with a lot of other people who might tease, Blaine had decided New Year's Eve was the time to go for it. If anything, he had to do it because his body was still having a visceral reaction after seeing Sebastian in a wet t-shirt all night. He had to do it because all he could think about while he was singing Raspberry Beret was how Sebastian's hard body felt pressed up against him while reaching for the Twister box and during those few precious seconds of the game's final round. It also didn't hurt to see Sebastian's abs peek out from under this t-shirt as he danced and sexily smiled at him front and center during the performance. Blaine just had to see if a New Year's kiss did anything for Seb. If he just looked amused or polite or something, Blaine could laugh it off as just a kiss for tradition's sake and then go home to heal his broken heart. If after the kiss Seb looked like he felt something... _Don't jinx it._

Blaine wished so hard that it felt like a prayer.

He opened the door and walked back out to the crowd, scanning the faces for Sebastian. Almost immediately he found him near the stage. They locked eyes and smiled. Blaine thought this had to be a good sign.

The next few minutes passed like a blur as he tried to make his way towards Sebastian. Blaine was vaguely aware of Unique singing a Beyonce' song, of the smell of alcohol, of the sound of apple cider and champagne being poured. He pushed past more people, a few familiar in his peripheral vision: Puck, Jake, Ryder, Marley?

He was barely aware of the pounding dance beat. He was still halfway across the room when he saw Santana pulling on Sebastian, asking him something. Sebastian was waving her off. He caught Blaine's eye and pointed towards the archway to the basement stairs that was about halfway between between them. He nodded, still feeling like he was in a fog. Blaine smelled perfume…Kitty? He thought he heard Kitty say something to him as he passed her, but he was too intent on reaching Sebastian to bother double checking – Kitty would call him again if it was important.

What was important right now to him was getting to Sebastian – because midnight was drawing near. Still in a haze, he saw Sam next to Sebastian, looking the way he did when he got intense about Halo. Ryder and Jake were nearby and Ryder looked keyed up, too. They must be playing a game of some kind. He was in too much of a trance to care. He smiled shyly at Sebastian as they both moved toward the stairwell. Sebastian was smiling back and Blaine was feeling like he might be in the middle of a really good dream. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sam yell something, but Unique hit a killer high note that drowned him out.

Blaine's heart started to beat faster and faster.

David, Jeff, Puck, Ryder, Mike, and Jake lifted Sam recumbent in the air just as Sebastian turned away from them. Maybe this really was a bizarre dream. Even if it was, Blaine was going to focus on getting to that stairwell and at least getting to kiss Sebastian Smythe at midnight on New Year's in his dreams.

Blaine pushed past Artie, who gave him a sweet smile. He could smell beer and cologne and sweat. He glimpsed Santana and Tina arguing about something. He saw Trent smiling sweetly at him. Then he saw Sebastian, looking more handsome than he'd perhaps ever seen him. He reached the stairwell first and sprawled his long legs down from a middle step.

A few seconds later Blaine reached him and he instantly felt grounded again. This wasn't a dream, this was Seb and Blaine, about to cozy up in a little space above the crowd. Blaine's heart pounded so hard he thought Sebastian must surely be able to hear it. The stairs were too narrow for them to sit side by side, but Sebastian patted on the step below his where Blaine could fit between his knees. Blaine sat down with his back against Sebastian's thighs and he thought he never wanted to leave that safe and incredibly sexy spot.

The music and crowd were so loud that Sebastian had to lean over for Blaine to hear him. Blaine closed his eyes as he felt Sebastian's breath on his neck. He wanted to be this close to Sebastian forever. No, he wanted to be even closer. But this was very, very good.

"Hey, Killer." Sebastian didn't move away from his ear after he spoke, waiting for a response. His voice gave Blaine chills, just as it did the first day he met Sebastian at Dalton.

And just like that fated day at Dalton, Blaine 's mind went blank and he had nothing witty to say in response. He turned his head slightly towards Sebastian. "Hey," he whispered back. It was just as well that they didn't face each other sitting this way - Blaine was grateful Sebastian couldn't see the blush flooding his face.

Unique and the others had abandoned the stage to find kissing partners.

During the lull in music, Sebastian's sexy voice said seriously in his ear, "You need to always sing Prince. Seriously. Always. Like tonight on the car ride home. And tomorrow morning over breakfast. And in the afternoon when we go for a run. And everyday until we have to go back to school. And right now. Sing _Diamonds and Pearls_. Acapella. Now."

Blaine thought he might be getting a hard-on just listening to Sebastian talk in that voice about having breakfast with him tomorrow. Breakfast in bed, rumpled sheets…

Sebastian added, "Or Purple Rain, that's a kick-ass one, too."

Blaine laughed and turned sideways so he could see Sebastian's beautiful face. He tucked his knees under Sebastian's right leg and leaned back against the inside of Sebastian's left knee. "You get like this every time I sing an artist you've never heard me sing before."

"This time I really mean it." Sebastian said, smiling and raising his eyebrows.

Someone cranked up the DJ speakers to "This is the New Year." Sebastian and Blaine smiled at each other as they listened to it:

_Another year you made a promise_

_Another chance to turn it all around_

_And do not save this for tomorrow_

_Embrace the past and you can live for now_

_And I will give the world to you_

Blaine was looking out over the room, trying to calm himself. "It's been a ridiculous year - the most dramatic of my life. I can't imagine going through another one like it."

"You came out better for it," Sebastian answered quietly.

"I have," Blaine said thoughtfully. "I'm finally coming to embrace my past. I feel so much stronger for it. And I feel unbelievably older. I feel like I'm a different person, almost."

"Almost. You're still Blaine Anderson, though: flawless."

Blaine smiled and shook his head at him, blushing. They paused in comfortable silence, hearing the lyrics of the song and wordlessly acknowledging their significance:

_Say everything you've always wanted  
Be not afraid of who you really are_

_'Cause in the end we have each other_  
And that's at least one thing worth living for  
And I would give the world to you 

Blaine said, "You've had quite a year, too. The steroid scandal; getting into Stanford; graduating, moving across the country; making first string on the lacrosse team; adjusting so successfully in your first year of college…"

"Jury's still out on that last one. But you left out the best part of my year."

"What?"

Sebastian paused before answering, listening again to the lyrics of the song.

_And build a statue strong enough for two_

_And pass it back to you_

They looked in each other's eyes, comfortable with their genuine affection for one another.

_And I will wait for you_

_'Cause I would give the world_

_And I would give the world_

_And I would give the world to you_

"The best of part of my year, by a long shot, was earning the right to spend time again with the one and only Blaine Anderson."

Blaine blushed, but was emboldened Sebastian's sweet words. He pulled out his phone, checking the time before glancing out at the crowd. He glimpsed Tina, Kitty, Jeff, and Trent looking in their direction. Blaine wasn't as oblivious as he seemed sometimes. He looked up at Sebastian's warm green eyes with a brave smile. "It's almost midnight and I guess all these people expect the gay guys to kiss each other."

"I guess so," Sebastian smirked. He glimpsed Sam, Santana and Nick out of the corner of his eye but wouldn't look at them. "Shall we give the people what they want, Killer?"

The anthem heralded in the New Year as they exchanged small smiles and thoughtful looks.

_This is the New Year_  
A new beginning  
You made a promise  
You are the brightest  
We are the voices  
This is a New Year  
We are the voices  
This is a New Year 

Blaine blushed and he looked down with a shy smile. "This is kind of awkward."

Sebastian gave him a cheeky grin. "Why? Because you've been thinking about it since the day we met?"

"5!"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "I read somewhere that Europeans see a New Year's kiss as an act of purification. You definitely need purification."

"4!"

"Shut up and kiss me, B."

They smiled at each other.

"3!"

Their eyes were searching as they leaned towards each other.

"2!"

Their eyes closed.

"1!"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The crowd exploded with shouts: horns blew, confetti flew, champagne flowed. Sebastian reached down, put his hand behind Blaine's neck and kissed him. Blaine leaned into him, reached up and kissed him right back.

The world around Blaine hushed to near stillness as Sebastian's lips met his - it felt like everything and forever and every drop of right now he could handle without falling apart at the seams. Desire, fear, exhilaration and a thousand other emotions rushed through him. Sebastian's lips were soft, pressing without urgency but definitely pressing with _something_.

It was hot. It was sweet. But all too soon the feeling that they were being watched, the noise, and their own fears got in the way and it was over, both of them starting to pull away at the same time.

Blaine's eyes fluttered open and he found Sebastian looking down at him. It was hard to read his expression, it was almost…

"SEB! We're up, come on!" Thad was shouting at them.

Sebastian's head lifted quickly and he looked unreadable for a moment.

"Earth to Seb!" Meatbox was now yelling at him, too.

The reason for their presence dawned on him. "Shit," he muttered to himself. He looked down at Blaine.

Trent joined Meatbox and Thad at the bottom of the stairs. "Sebastian! Come on, everyone's waiting! We can't start without you, you're singing lead!"

Sebastian didn't look away from Blaine as he commanded them from the stairs. He studied Blaine's big mesmerizing eyes as he called, "I'm out, you guys. You can make it work. You sing lead for me, Nixon! You were always whining for a goddamned solo in high school…."

Blaine's eyes darkened with lust - Sebastian was hot when he took charge.

"No way, Sebastian! I don't remember the lyrics after all this time!"

"Come on, Seb!"

"SEBASTIAN!" Nick and Jeff had joined the group to make the hollering twice as loud. Sebastian turned to glare at them and Blaine looked down at them, too. His heart melted a little at these sweet guys. He loved them so much, these Warblers, these guys whose handsome faces showed how much they still kind of worshiped their captain, even when he yelled at them. They appreciated Sebastian, they appreciated his whole grouchy, strong-willed, passionate package. Blaine's heart warmed.

Blaine tugged on Sebastian's arm. "Seb, it's okay, just go ahead…but maybe later we can…talk?"

Seb furrowed his brow at him and took a deep breath before speaking in a low voice to Blaine. "Really? I'm sorry, I forgot the big Warbler number is supposed to be right now. I don't know why someone else can't just sing lead…"

"Because there is only one Sebastian Smythe," Blaine smiled up at him. "It's okay, really."

Sebastian looked at him with concern. "You're sure?"

Blaine spoke with nearly convincing certainty. He was pretty sure he could reign himself in for the sake of his Warbler friends. "Yes, yes. Go, I can't wait to see what number you guys said the Headmaster wouldn't allow you to perform in competition."

Thad was halfway up the stairs towards them, reaching out to yank at Sebastian's arm. "Come on, man!"

Sebastian was dragged off with an apologetic look on his face.

 _A new beginning_  
You made a promise  
You are the brightest  
We are the voices  
This is a New Year  


* * *

Well there you have it, your first Seblaine kiss! Hope it suits. Please review, we love hearing from you. What did you like, didn't like? Was Sam too much of a cartoon? Just know that Tina is being harsh here for a reason, don't hate on my girl too much!

And was Sebitty realistic? I kinda like them as friends...this is just a little beginning for them. And was it too mean to have Trent crushing on Blaine? I mean who doesn't crush on Blaine? :)

No shirtlessness in this chapter, but hope the wet t-shirt sufficed (yes, I'm talking to you...you know who you are :) ).

Hope everyone is having a great holiday season. Next chapter will be up fast! Please tell me what your favorite parts were, etc. and I'll try to keep giving you similar stuff!


	12. The Universe Working, Tina's Concerns, Nina's Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the final days of Seblaine's Christmas vacation. Our boys run into some bad luck on New Year's Eve; we get to eavesdrop on a Blina Brunch; we make our way through our first Seblaine conflict. Also included are some New Directions and Warbler performances. Finally, Cooper and Sam team up and later aaBlaine gets a pep talk.

Blaine wiggled his way through the crowd and planted himself front and center, just as Sebastian had done for him earlier that night. The crowd was buzzing from the thrill of the midnight hour. Sebastian ran a hand through his hair and grabbed the microphone off the stand roughly, speaking in his lowest register – the sexy voice that made Blaine weak in the knees.

"Happy New Year, everyone. Warbler alumni are out in force tonight, so Mike asked us to do a big group number. We don't have a lot of room on this stage, but we're giving it a shot because we've been wanting to perform this in front of a crowd for awhile. This is a number the headmaster blacklisted from our set list, so it seems appropriate for it to graduate to the big time, now that we all have."

Sebastian looked straight in Blaine's eyes. "It's also appropriate for New Year's, since it's about a new ride." He winked at the crowd and stepped back between Nick and Jeff flanking each side of him.

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=R1sb0dY6tRE

_To the left to the right_  
 _Step it up, step it up it's alright_  
 _To the left and to the right_  
 _Check the new ride out it's alright_

Sebastian's hips were swinging as in days of old, leading the group in some sexy choreography that most definitely would be banned from Dalton and any other high school in America. Blaine could feel his temperature rise as he swayed to the beat and watched Sebastian's pelvis make moves that were searing into his memory.

_Silence ain't in season_  
 _'Cause there ain't no good in grief_  
 _Can't stop my mouth from breathin'_  
 _Or seein' what I see_  


Sebastian's charisma was charming the crowd, but he only had eyes for Blaine and he didn't seem to care who knew it. Blaine gave up caring, too.

_Curves with destinations_  
 _Poetic symmetry_  
 _Ya 'cause an inflammation_  
 _In my anatomy, don't you see, oh_  


Blaine ached deliciously at the look in Sebastian's eyes as he sang the erotic lyrics. Sebastian's heavy-lidded gaze was so intense in fact, that Blaine couldn't even maintain the eye contact for too long without having to look away to catch his breath. Plus he couldn't stop himself from taking in Sebastian's sweaty chest, arms, neck... And when he turned around, Blaine cursed the Warbler blazer for covering up too much in their high school performances. _  
_

_Yeah yeah yeah, you can't send a forget-me-not_  
 _Yeah yeah yeah, but I'll still reach up to the top_  
 _Yeah yeah yeah, until the last day that I drop_  
 _Yeah yeah yeah, this is something you can't stop_

"Heh heh heh…" Blaine heard a lecherous chuckle and turned to find Sam with a sly look on his face.

"Shut up and don't ruin this for me," Blaine said with a laugh.

"Not sayin' another word, bro! Except…you're welcome!"

Blaine furrowed his brow in confusion but wasn't going to be bothered to ask, not when he could be focusing on the sweat dripping in trails down Sebastian's chest and the outline of his straining abs under the drenched t-shirt.

"Happy New Year, Blaine!" Sam laughed, doing a body roll.

"Happy New Year, Sam!" Blaine grinned at him.

_I'm in you from the outset_  
Hip to hip and dome to dome  
We reach the outer limits  
Bring the boogie boogie home 

_Back home_

Blaine danced along with the performance. He was having fun bumping up against Kitty and Santana, but mostly it was just intoxicating and amazing. He would have closed his eyes if he could unglue them from the drag and twist of Sebastian's hips, from the steady penetration of those green eyes, from the teasing smile and the wild tousle of his hair. Blaine really wanted to run his hands through that hair just now.

Sebastian pointed at Blaine as part of the closing dance moves. At the end of the performance when the crowd erupted applause, Blaine reached his hand up and pulled Sebastian down from the stage. Without a word, he pulled him across the room and up the stairs, not caring who saw them.

The ran across the first floor and up to the second. Sebastian's eyes were dark, his expression debauched, and he didn't say a word, either. Blaine grabbed the first knob on the first door they encountered on the second floor. Then his heart nearly leapt out of his chest in surprise when they came upon Joe Hart, Jake, Puck, and Ryder sitting around a bridge table in the Chang's guest room. He couldn't make out what was on the table in front of them all. Blocks?

Puck, Jake and Ryder laughed when they saw the hand-holding, sweaty, disheveled newcomers.

"Hey guys!" Joe said.

"Who the hell is that?" Sebastian muttered to Blaine.

Joe continued brightly, "Puck is showing us how to play mah-jhong! What are you guys up to?" Jake, Ryder and Puck and were exchanging knowing glances and chuckled.

Sebastian and Blaine were stunned. This was so…random.

Joe chattered on. "Did you know that Mah-Jhong is a gambling game? And I didn't know until Puck told me that the Jewish community has played it for many years in America, not just the Chinese! My parents wouldn't let me use real money for gambling of course, so we're just using poker chips with no real stakes."

Joe paused when he saw Sebastian staring at him like he had just encountered a raving lunatic. "Oh hey, have we met?" Joe stood up to cross the room and shake Sebastian's reluctant hand. "I remember you from Sectionals, you were one of the lead guys in the Warblers, right? I'm Joe Hart."

"Oh sorry," Blaine said, still a bit dumbfounded himself. "I didn't realize you guys hadn't met. Joe, this is Sebastian Smythe. Seb, this is Joe Hart."

"Great to meet you," Joe said with a warm smile. "Come and join us!" Sebastian was still speechless at the situation.

Puck stood up, smirking. "Dude I don't think these guys wanna play _this_ game."

Jake hit his brother on the arm. He said calmly, "Yeah, this is a four person game anyway. We'll catch up with you two a little later…" He dismissed them with a wave.

Blaine looked at him with gratitude and turned to go.

Ryder tried to be helpful, but lacked Jake's finesse. "Are you two looking for some place to, um…talk? 'Cause I think Mike's room is empty."

Blaine smiled weakly at them. "Oh, we were just..um..." Sebastian had had enough. He yanked him out the door, Blaine giving a polite wave as he was dragged out.

"No more socializing…you wanted to…talk, yes?" Sebastian practically growled at him as they walked down the hallway. He slipped his arm around Blaine's waist.

Blaine nodded, closing his eyes for a moment to feel his body react to Sebastian's touch and the smell of him so close. He thought he might combust from how heady he felt. He led them with blind urgency into Mike's room.

As they burst in Blaine caught sight of Mike's empty bed and felt a rush of arousal…until he saw Mike on the opposite side of the large room, poised in front of Dance Dance Revolution, surrounded by various Warblers.

"Hey guys!" Thad called out to them. Mike wanted us to show him a couple of our moves and then we realized we've never played this with him!" Blaine loved Mike's burgeoning friendship with the Warblers, born from their time at the lake the weekend of the almost-wedding. He loved it, he really did – _just not right now_.

Blaine looked at Sebastian, who looked like he was going to rip Thad's head off. Sebastian hauled Blaine from the room before he could engage in any polite chit-chat. He looked from left to right and realized that they were almost at the end of the hallway. "Your public school friends need bigger houses," he groused. He was starting to wonder if they could get away with finding a bathroom.

"There's still Mike's parents' room," Blaine soothed. "Mike always locks it when he throws parties, but I know where the key is."

The scowl on Sebastian's face disappeared and they raced past the linen closet and the laundry room. They reached the door to the bedroom and Blaine pointed up to the door jamb. "There's a pin-key on top of the frame there. I think there's two, actually."

Sebastian reached up. "There's just one, but it's all we need, Killer." He gave Blaine a sexy smile and poked the pin in the hole on the door knob. After a bit of poking and prodding, they finally heard the door lock click and opened the door to see an empty room and a gorgeous king sized bed. Both of their eyes lit up and their mouths curved into smiles. Sebastian locked the door knob and closed the door, leaning on it in relief. Then his expression transformed into something positively feral. Blaine faced him as he sat down on the side of the bed, giving Sebastian an eager smile before holding up his index finger. "Okay Tiger, I really did want to first…"

Then Sebastian heard it – and his heart plummeted to his stomach. "Goddamn it!" he cursed, striding across the room to the opposite side of the bed behind Blaine. Blaine flipped over and crawled across the bed to peek at what Sebastian came to see on the floor beside the bed.

"AHH!" Blaine shrieked, rolling over onto his back and covering his eyes. "SAM! TINA!"

Sebastian yanked nearly-naked Sam off of half-naked Tina, giving them a stony look. "Well, if it isn't Shirtless Joe Jackson. You're back on my list, Evans."

* * *

_BLAINE: Hey, just wanted to check-in. I would call but Tina just fell asleep and I told her I would stay with her in her room tonight. You ok?_

_SEBASTIAN: I'm ok. How are you?_

_BLAINE: I'm okay except that I'm just so sorry. She was just such a wreck about Mike and making out with Sam. She never does stuff like that. So I hope you can understand that when she asked me to go home with her and stay the night, I just couldn't say no. I'm really worried about her._

Sebastian rubbed his forehead.

_SEBASTIAN: Of course you're worried - otherwise you wouldn't be you._

_BLAINE: Thanks for being so understanding – you're the best. And I'm sorry we didn't get to spend any time together tonight. Sometimes the universe just works against us, huh?_

_SEBASTIAN: That does appear to have been the case._

Blaine's stomach twisted. Sebastian was unhappy. But he didn't have the energy to have the big talk he wanted to have with him. The talk about what sex would mean and what they wanted and long distance relationships and everything else. He just didn't have the energy tonight. Or maybe he was just still too chicken tonight. Either way, it wasn't happening tonight. But he felt bad for poor Seb after everything that had happened.

_BLAINE: I'll find a way to make it up to you tomorrow, ok?_

Sebastian's eyebrows raised with interest.

_SEBASTIAN: Absolutely. Looking forward to you finding a way. I'll be sure to help you find a way._

Blaine briefly considered phone sex but remembered Tina was next to him and that he didn't want his first time orgasming with Sebastian to be via IPhone. But he definitely thought about it.

_BLAINE: You're shameless. It's so late now, but we'll talk more tomorrow, okay?_

Sebastian could picture what Blaine looked like when he typed that. He knew the starry eyed look Blaine had on his face last night…the look he had on his face when he wasn't looking…utterly fuckable. It was Blaine's loverly face, the one he'd worn for Kurt and for a brief time the one he wore for Sam (back when Sebastian abhorred Sam). Sebastian was one hundred percent on board with being Blaine's boyfriend, but he had a feeling he was going to get very lost in any relationship talk Blaine was wanting to have. Relationship talks were not exactly in Sebastian Smythe's wheel house.

_SEBASTIAN: Ok._

_BLAINE: Ok, see you tomorrow. I'll be home after I have breakfast with Tina. I'll have her drop me off._

_SEBASTIAN: Ok. I'll probably go for a run at the lake in the morning, so if I'm not at your house that's where I am. Call me if you need the car and I'll come back right away._

_BLAINE: Ok, good night._

_SEBASTIAN: Happy New Year, Killer._

_BLAINE: Happy New Year, Seb._

They both lay in their respective beds, eyes wide open, for a long time, until they fell asleep.

* * *

"Okay, I think I can do that," Tina said bravely, pushing her eggs around on her plate.

Blaine looked at her earnestly. "I know you can do this, Tay-Tay. It's really for the best. Get your closure with Mike and then we'll hang out some with Sam for the next couple of days and see where he's at. You guys can figure out if there is anything there. He's a such good guy…it could be awesome if you started dating!"

"Really, you'd be okay with that?"

"Yes, of course I would. You guys just…took me by surprise last night, that's all. But I do need to ask…I thought Sam was dating Mary in Scotland?"

Tina said, "Apparently they are not exclusive," she said, rolling her eyes, "at least according to him." Then she spoke seriously again. "But Sam's a great guy…but we have like nothing in common. We were about to have like hate sex, actually - we'd been sniping at each other all night. It's my fault, I was picking on him and his plan to get you and Sebastian together because I was in a bad mood about Mike."

"Sam had a plan to get me and Sebastian together?" Blaine asked, chuckling.

"Oh Blainers, were you that oblivious? The Twister? That thing where he pretended to faint?"

Blaine laughed heartily. "OHHHH, is that why they were carrying him over their heads?! Oh that's hilarious. Well everyone should not have worried so much, I think I decided last week that I was going to be kissing Sebastian at midnight."

They laughed together.

Blaine sighed happily. "And I still can't believe it happened…" Then he remembered himself and apologized. "Sorry, to get back to you and Sam…if you guys realize it was nothing, it'll be okay, too. I'm sure that you guys would be able to go back to being friends again. Remember when he got me to admit I had a crush on him? He made me feel so much more comfortable about it than anyone would expect him to. And he didn't anyone about it. "

Tina nodded, then suddenly almost dropped her fork. "Oh god, do you think Sebastian is going to tell people?"

"No," Blaine leaned over to squeeze her hand. "Absolutely not. Seb hates gossip. He's a pretty private person and respects other people's privacy. He doesn't tell me anything Santana tells him about her life."

Tina heaved a sigh of relief. "Ok, if you trust him to not to say anything, I guess I do." She paused, looking mischievous. "So you two were going to hook up last night, huh? When you walked in on Sam and me, you two were obviously looking to do exactly what we were doing!"

Blaine blushed. "Yeah, I guess we were," he grinned.

"I guess he is pretty hot…good for you," she smirked.

Blaine swooned as he sipped his coffee. "God the way he was looking at me last night…" He sighed blissfully. He definitely wanted to kiss me more last night, so I think I finally can scrape up the courage today to talk to him about how I'm feeling."

Tina looked anxious. "And how are you feeling? What exactly are you going to tell him?"

"How am I feeling? Can't you tell? I'm happy! I'm going to tell him that I'm crazy about him, that I think he's the most amazing person I've ever met…"

Tina cut it in, "Wait…are you saying you want _Sebastian Smythe_ as a _boyfriend_?" Her voice was thick with disbelief. "But you're going back Scotland and he's going to California…what are you going to tell him you want to do about that?"

Blaine tried to reassure her. "I know, T – you're right…I have to be practical and talk about more than just how I feel about him. I've been thinking about what I want the last few days since I talked to my mom about all this. I think I know exactly what I want and I'm ready to tell him…I want it all. I want to use the plane tickets he gave me to visit him in California and I want him to be my Valentine and I want to buy him sexy underwear and I want to be able to tell him I miss him as much as I want and I want to tell him I love him even more often and I want to give him my whole heart."

"Wow," Tina said, her eyes wide.

"I mean, what did we sing about after the near-shooting at McKinley? 'Say what you need to say.' I'm not going to hold back, I'm going to tell him what I need to say. And then hopefully we'll have an amazing last four days until we have to go back to school!" Blaine rocked back and forth with anticipation.

"You mean hopefully you'll have amazing sex for four days until you have to go back to school," Tina teased, grinning.

Blaine blushed. "Stop! But god our kiss was so incredible…I'm floating just thinking about it."

Tina laughed, "You're floating just thinking about what sex would be like with him!"

Blaine waved her off, but Tina wouldn't relent her teasing. "He's smokin' – come on, admit it!"

Blaine blushed all the way to his forehead.

Tina pointed, her mouth a small 'O.' "Ooh, ooh, Sam told me about this! It's the Too Much Sex Talk Blush!"

Blaine put his face in his hands, but he laughed hard with Tina.

When his face resumed a normal color, he began to look sentimental. "But more than anything, I just want us to be together."

Tina softened. "That's really sweet, Blaine. But…"

After having gotten so much off his chest, Blaine finally heard the tone in her voice. "But what?"

"Ok, you know I want nothing but your happiness, right?"

"Right…" Blaine sounded wary.

"It's just I'm worried about you jumping into all this so fast, and especially with where you guys are at. I mean you are only four months out from your almost-wedding and you've chosen to make Sebastian kind of your emotional crutch since then."

Blaine's jaw dropped open. Tina wasn't pulling any punches, then.

Tina squeezed his hand and looked at him with her most empathetic expression. "Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that he knows how to cheer you up and everything, but it just it sounds like you had kind of a miserable quarter last quarter and you chose to depend on him to survive. You had Sam right there, you know you could have talked to me at any time, but Sam says you chose to email and skype Sebastian more than anyone else. Why? Because he's so much better at listening than me? Because he cheers you up more than Sam's crazy sense of humor? Maybe, but I can't help but think that at least a little bit of your choice had to do with the fact that he's a gorgeous, available, gay guy."

Blaine was indignant. "Tina, that's not fair…"

Tina looked apologetic. "What's not fair? Look, I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but I can't help but be worried that you're going back to patterns you had with Kurt - that you're going to jump into making your relationship with Sebastian the center of your life and identity. It just feels so soon for something so serious. Sebastian isn't going to be some random guy you date in Scotland for a few weeks to get your feet wet in the dating pool. It's not going to take several months for you to ease into…intimacy with him, to slowly learn his back stories and what he likes and dislikes and then decide if you want to be exclusive. You presumably know all that stuff about Sebastian already, so you're going to be diving headfirst into having a serious boyfriend again."

"But knowing all that stuff about him already is…what makes it so beautiful," Blaine said softly. "Haven't you ever seen _When Harry Met Sally_?"

Tina looked at him worriedly. "Yeah... but I still think it seems soon for you to get in so deep…especially with…" she hesitated.

"Especially with what?" Blaine asked.

Tina sighed. "Especially with Sebastian. I know you probably hate me for saying that. And I know Sam says he makes you happy…"

"He _does_ make me happy," Blaine said, looking like a worried puppy.

"But…he's never had a boyfriend before, right?"

"Well there has to be a first time for everything!"

"Well do you have to be the guinea pig? I just don't want you to get hurt." Tina said. Then she stopped and looked puzzled. "Wait a minute…"

Blaine looked at her anxiously.

"Do you even know if Sebastian _wants_ to date you? I mean for all we know, he may have seen last night as the beginning of a friends with benefits scenario for him."

Blaine froze. He hadn't thought of that.

Tina tried to backpedal. "But probably not. Probably not, definitely not. You said he's really turned over a new leaf, right?"

"Yeah…" Blaine said. His hazel eyes were darkening with worry. "It's just…when we first met, Sebastian always gave me the impression he'd slept with a lot of guys. So the friends with benefits thing doesn't sound too far from that."

Tina said soothingly, "No, no, I was wrong to throw that out there. Sam said he's not out to use or abuse you."

"Right," Blaine said, trying to smooth out the lines on his face. He continued bravely. "Anyway, I can't worry about what he's going to say. I can just plan what I'm going to say."

"Right, you're going to say you want to be boyfriends." Tina said.

"Yes," Blaine said stubbornly.

"I have to say, though…" Tina shook her head thoughtfully. "You're braver than me. Trying again at a long-distance relationship? Wow. That was so painful all around for me and Mike."

 _And for me and Kurt,_ Blaine thought.

Tina said admiringly, "But you are so much more courageous. I'm sure it would be different for you and Sebastian if you wanted it to be. You learned a lot from all the Kurt stuff."

Blaine internally flinched, but said bravely, "Definitely. And Sebastian and I already have a long distance friendship that is doing well – even though I miss him all the time. He never forgets to call me and we write these awesome letters… I'm sure it would be different. I know it would be different. And then I'll be back in the States in six months and we can spend the whole summer together. We will be fine."

Blaine wanted to believe this so much that it felt like prayer.

Tina said quietly, "I just don't want you to jump the gun, Blainey Days. I would love to see you be happy on your own for at least a little while before you jump into a relationship. You owe it to yourself, and if you really feel as strongly about him as it sounds like you do, you owe it to him, too. You'll be in a better headspace to be a good boyfriend to him."

Blaine swallowed thickly and leaned his head back in his chair.

Tina continued, reaching over to squeeze his hand again. "I just think you owe it to yourself to wait – you can love someone, but if the timing is off you could really screw it up. If it really means that much to you, you want to do it right. Plus if your friendship means that much to you, if you wait you are more likely to not to screw that up, too."

* * *

The three days after New Year's were similar to the days before it: exercise in the early morning, errands in the late morning, outings and entertaining friends in the afternoons and evenings. All of it took on a different flavor after New Year's Eve, however - the vacation was coming to an end and both Sebastian and Blaine could feel a melancholy undertone to their nonstop schedule, no matter how raucous and fun the activity.

They also never took two minutes to spend alone together, let alone enough time to have the big talk Blaine had planned before bed on New Year's Eve. Blaine came back from Tina's on New Year's Day appropriately spooked, and he couldn't find the words to say what he needed to say, after all. He was still kind and friendly to Sebastian, but there was something missing. The sweetness, the flirtatiousness…the intimacy…was gone. Sebastian noticed something was off, but didn't ask about it, assuming Blaine would come to him when he was ready, as he always did. Not talking about things never panicked Sebastian – he had spent a good portion of his life thus far making do with words unsaid.

What did bother him was the physical change in their relationship. The sweet gestures Blaine made earlier during vacation were gone: the impulsive hugs during conversations, the hand holding, the hands on his shoulders and neck. He found himself missing the way Blaine would stand and lean on his back in the kitchen while Sebastian sat on a stool and snacked on cold cereal while they told Cooper about their latest outing. Also, Blaine now scheduled their social engagements right through the late afternoon, so the late afternoon matinees where Sebastian laid his head in Blaine's lap until he fell asleep were gone.

Before New Year's Sebastian would have complained about the lack of downtime, but after New Year's Sebastian resigned himself to the fact that they had kissed too soon and that the kiss and the flirting New Year's Eve had scared off Blaine.

And that was obviously why SexKitten!Blaine never returned after New Year's Eve, which of course tortured Sebastian every night. It made him feel like cutting Santana out of his life, but a voice of reason in his head told him he was being unreasonable. It was all his fault. He had let it all get to him and he had lost control that night and kissed Blaine too soon, and now he only had himself to blame.

At least, Sebastian reasoned with himself, Blaine was still talking to him. At least he hadn't screwed things up completely. He would find some way to get them back on track. And at least there was Saturday.

"Ice skating on Saturday is going to be fun," Sam said at lunch one day with the New Directions' Class of 2013. He playfully punched Blaine in the arm. "I can't believe we haven't gotten around to it before - you are such an ice skating freak."

Blaine laughed too loudly. "I know! I can't wait." There was an awkward pause. He addressed the entire group. "You know we took our European friends ice skating and Sam tried to be a big shot and skate backwards…he went right into a wall!"

The group laughed politely. Tina came to the rescue with a less forced story about her own college friends. Sam stood up and pulled Sebastian aside. "What's up with Blaine? He's been acting weird since New Year's."

Sebastian shook his head. "Hell if I know. But Sam, leave it alone. He'll come around when he's ready."

"Is it something with you two? Are you guys a couple now? Did you fight? Blaine hasn't been very clear in his texts."

"No, no and no," Sebastian answered tensely. "I said leave it alone. I don't have any other information for you." He turned and sat back down with the group.

Mrs. Anderson looked like she noticed a change in the air between Blaine and Sebastian, but she didn't pry. Sebastian did find that her soothing presence comforting every night when she would stop by each of the boys' rooms to say good night. Sometimes if he was already in bed she would come in and tuck him in more and kiss his forehead.

Cooper looked like he wanted to say something, but Blaine didn't give them time to spend a moment alone with his brother either, racing Sebastian and himself out the door after dinner every night. There was another night at the Tavern (Tristan had gone back to LA, the bartender said), a night out at movies, gatherings at various Warblers' and New Directions' houses.

All too quickly Saturday arrived, the last night before Blaine and Sebastian were to go back to school. Unlike their return home, departure flights were all over the map for various reasons. Nick was flying out Sunday morning, Blaine's flight was in the afternoon, Sam's (because it was booked with Sebastian's frequent flier miles) was in the early evening and Sebastian's was in the late evening.

Mr. Anderson made an effort to get home by 6:30 for a final family dinner, which ended up again including a side conversation between Mr. Anderson and Sebastian about various companies and MBA programs. Cooper looked like he wanted to poke his own eyes out, while Blaine vacillated between (1) looking tenuously happy that his father and Sebastian were getting along so well and (2) looking envious of the bond they had developed so quickly.

After dinner they drove out to Sebastian's house to get his ice skates. "I don't know why you can't just rent them like everyone else is going to," Blaine said mildly. "It's not like it costs all that much – not that you ever concern yourself with stuff like that."

"I like my skates," Sebastian said his matter of fact tone.

Then just like he had been doing for every other car ride for the last three days, Blaine turned on music and sang loudly, not letting Sebastian get a word in edgewise.

Tonight he sang his way through most of the Beatles' White Album before moving on to a Motown Greatest Hits CD, starting with "Goin' Back to Indiana." Blaine belted it at the top of his lungs, smiling and glancing at Sebastian from time to time. Sebastian gave him a small smile and nodded in time with the music until a thought occurred to him. He picked up the CD and looked at it, smirking as he found the track he wanted. After the the song finished, he skipped to the track and arched an eyebrow at Blaine, daring him to sing along to his one. But Blaine didn't give him the satisfaction:

_youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=yQP8BgJGVIc_  
 _Now if there's a smile on my face_  
 _It's only they're trying to fool the public_  
 _But when it comes down to fooling you_  
 _Now honey that's quite a different subject_

_But don't let my glad expression_  
 _Give you the wrong impression_  
 _Really I'm sad, oh sadder than sad_  
 _You're gone and I'm hurting so bad_  
 _Like a clown I pretend to be glad_

_Now there's some sad things known to man_  
 _But ain't too much sadder than the tears of a clown_  
 _When there's no one around_

After the song was over, Sebastian turned the radio off. "Ok Killer, enough is enough."

Blaine looked tense. "What?"

Sebastian threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "Shit, I can't believe I'm the one who is making YOU talk. Come on, have you _met_ us? What the hell is going on?"

Blaine was silent at first. They had reached Sebastian's driveway and he parked the car. "Seb, I don't know what you're talking about. Go get your skates so we can get to the pond. We don't want to be late."

Sebastian didn't budge. "Come in with me, I want five minutes in the house to talk to you about whatever the heck is bothering you."

"Seb, just go get the skates, you don't need me to do that."

"I'm not getting out of the car unless you come with me."

Blaine glared at him. "You are a real brat sometimes, you know that?" He got out of the car in a huff.

Sebastian smirked and got out of the car. Now they were at least getting somewhere. He stopped on the path to the front door. "You've been weird since New Year's – I'm guessing it has something to do with our liplock. I figured you wanted to talk about it and I've been waiting for you to be ready. But you've been avoiding me for three days and we leave tomorrow. Let's talk about it – I don't understand what can be such a big deal that we can't talk about it…"

Blaine looked at him in disbelief, "What can be such a big deal?! You want to know what can be such a big deal about us kissing." He continued sarcastically, "Oh excuse me…I mean our 'liplock.'"

Sebastian looked alarmed. "No no no, that's not what I meant, I didn't say the kiss wasn't a big deal, I just mean…I just… Blaine, you have to walk me through this, because I don't know…"

Blaine interrupted him with irritation, "Of course you don't know…well you know what Sebastian, if you don't know what you want to say about it, then it doesn't matter if I do."

"What? What do you mean?" Sebastian was genuinely confused. He fumbled for words. "Just tell me what I can do to make things…not weird."

Blaine raised a dismissive hand. "Forget it Seb…let's just get your skates," he spat out.

Sebastian was at a loss. This was exactly what he had known he was going to screw up. Blaine was angry with him, even though he was actually _trying_ to talk about whatever the hell you're supposed to talk about after the first time you kiss someone you actually like…or love. Blaine was pissed at him and he didn't know why, and nothing he could say was making it any better. This relationship crap was so baffling. He sighed as he turned the key in the lock, hoping that least…

"SURPRISE!" The lights turned on in a blaze to reveal the large Smythe entry hall full of family and friends, every single last one of them wearing bowties. Santana wore hers on a standalone collar above a strapless dress; Jake and Puck wore theirs untied; Tina, Unique and Cousin Sadie wore them in their hair; Meatbox and Jeff wore a rainbow clown bowties and suspenders; Marley was wearing a women's tailored tuxedo; Sam had his like a garter around his arm; Kitty wore hers like a garter on her thigh; Uncle Willy and Cooper were resplendent in tails and a top hats.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BLAINE!"

"SURPRISE!" "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" "SURPRISE!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" "SURPRISE!"

Blaine's jaw dropped open as he surveyed the room. There were high-boy cocktail tables everywhere decorated with rose and bowtie bouquets, and the entire hall and portable stage was decorated with balloons, a giant birthday banner, and gold mesh swag.

Nearly everyone he knew and loved in Ohio were there. Even Rachel, Brittany and Mercedes - which touched his heart – he hadn't seen them during the vacation at all for obvious reasons. Kurt wasn't there of course, but Blaine felt a wave of gratitude towards him. He sputtered as he took it all in: "But my birthday isn't until the end of the month!"

Cooper, who was standing with his parents at the front of the crowd, said, "Well, we can't let Sammy and your British mates be the only ones who get to celebrate with you!"

Blaine broke into an enormous smile and hugged him, then his parents, then Sam and Tina who stood beside them. Then he turned around to Sebastian with the puppy dog eyes and an apologetic look on his face.

"The whole thing was his idea," Sam said.

Blaine eyes welled up. "Seb…you …?"

Sebastian gave a small nod, half smiling and biting his lip.

Blaine flew over to hug him hard. It was the closest physical contact they'd had since Sebastian had walked down Mike's hallway with his arm around his waist, and it felt amazing. "I'm sorry," Sebastian whispered in his ear as they hugged. His voice was choked, something Blaine hadn't heard since Christmas Eve when Sebastian was cursing his father. Blaine's heart broke open. "God, I'm sorry, too," he whispered back. "I'm so, so sorry."

They held each other until they realized that there was an entire room watching them, and they broke apart. Mr. Anderson handed a handkerchief to Mrs. Anderson and she wiped her eyes.

Blaine summoned his poise and addressed the room. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all gathering tonight for my birthday. It's amazing to see so many family and friends in one place like this. I've definitely had my share of homesickness while I've been abroad, and tonight will be a special memory to take back with me and keep me company when I'm missing home again. Thanks so much for being here. Now let's party!"

The crowd let out a cheer. To Blaine's surprise, Sebastian was hopped up on the portable stage they had set up in the back of hall. He slipped his tap shoes on and picked up a microphone. "Welcome to Blaine Anderson's Early 19th birthday extravaganza. A number of Blaine's friends would like to perform for him and perform with him tonight. I'm pleased to start off the show with Joanna and Peter who were on the Cheerios squad with Blaine, in a number from _Singin' in the Rain_ , one of Blaine's favorite musicals."

_[See Grant tap dance to this at youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=zsr1apuCNRA]_  
 _… In the morning_  
 _In the morning_  
 _It's great to stay up late_  
 _Good Morning_  
 _Good Morning to you_

_When we left the movie show the future wasn't bright_  
 _But came the dawn_  
 _the show goes on and I don't want to say good night_  
 _So say good morning_  
 _Good Morning_  
 _Rainbows are shining through_  
 _Good Morning_  
 _Good Morning_  
 _Bonjour_  
 _*Monsour_  
 _*Buenos Días_  
 _*Muchas Frías_  
 _*Bongiorno_  
 _*Montichorno_  
 _*Gutten Morgen_  
 _*Blakich Morgen_  
 _Good Morning to you_

After the number ended, Sebastian changed his shoes quickly and hopped off the stage, striding towards Blaine and Cooper with grace Blaine still found unexpected from someone well over six feet tall. "Grandmother Fondeur would be proud," Blaine said to him with the familiar affection Sebastian had, if he were to be honest, missed desperately. The beamed at each other as Cooper watched them fondly.

Wes called Blaine up on stage and held up his Dalton blazer, which still fit like a glove. There was a Warblers' nostalgia block up next: "Misery," "Hey Soul Sister," and "Raise Your Glass." They brought the house down, just as in the old days.

Sam and Tina were up next with a hilarious rendition of "I Got You Babe," with Sam dressed up as Cher and Tina as Sonny. Blaine laughed until he was crying.

The nostalgia continued when Santana, Mike and Brittany sang and danced to "Valerie," and Marley pulled Blaine up for a rendition of "All or Nothing," Sebastian's favorite duet from Blaine's senior year repertoire.

Next up was Sam and Artie on Thrift Shop. Right before the bridge they pulled Blaine on stage to rap the astoundingly appropriate lyrics:

_I wear your granddad's clothes, I look incredible  
I'm in this big ass coat from that thrift shop down the road_

It was Sebastian's turn to wipe his eyes while laughing at bow-tied Blaine rapping with swagger.

The "Old Directions" came back up: Mercedes and Rachel sang, "Take me or Leave Me;" then Santana, Quinn, and Brittany came up next to perform their "Come See About Me" number. "The Unholy Trinity" insisted on seating the blushing Blaine on stage in a chair as they danced and flirted around him.

Sebastian's Warblers were up next, performing "Stand " and "Live While We're Young." Blaine looked on with pride and affection at Sebastian in his old Warbler blazer leading Blaine's beloved Warbler friends.

After a break where Blaine was rushed off into the library by some of the New Directions, the final number was announced. Brittany, Marley, Tina, Kitty, and Unique emerged in outrageous outfits, followed by Blaine. _Oh my god, Blaine._ Sebastian's mouth dropped open and Nick chuckled next to him as they saw Blaine strut out in his full red diva costume, complete with feathered sleeves. Mr. Anderson raised his eyebrows. Mrs. Anderson clapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes twinkling.

[](http://imgur.com/IHQG53J)

As the number continued, Sam came over to laugh with Sebastian – only to be embarrassed by the look on his face. Cooper was nearby, laughing as he saw Sam's reaction. "Yeah, Sebastian is running a very detailed fantasy in his head right now about my little brother…not sure if I should be grossed out or happy for him."

"Grossed out! Grossed out!" Sam yelled, turning away and shuddering.

After the performance bows, Blaine ducked back into the library to change. When he re-emerged, the entire room was singing happy birthday to him as Tina and Sam carried a huge cake out lit with candles.

Mike turned on some house music after majority of the cake had been eaten, and Sebastian ducked into a closet to find the electrical panel to dim the lights for dancing. He came out wearing his own bowtie, which Blaine, now a few wine coolers in, exclaimed over.

It was the night in the Castro all over again for Sebastian and Blaine as they danced together, Sebastian's hands on Blaine's hips and Blaine's hair curling as sweat dripped down his face. It was intoxicating, not least because of the couple of drinks they had each had to keep the worries of the state of their union and the next day's departure out of their minds. Blaine found this very easy to stay in the moment when Sebastian untied his bowtie and let it hang around his neck – Blaine's ultimate weakness. He only wished he had thought to untie it for Sebastian himself. As it were, he still thought he might tackle Sebastian right there on the dance floor.

But Unique cut in at that point, and Blaine danced with many others as well. Sebastian preferred to cool off on the sidelines, watching Blaine dance and smile and flirt with boys and girls alike.

Sebastian chuckled watching him, and Cooper came over to laugh with him. "Enjoying the show, Sebby?"

"Don't call me that, Chicken Coop."

"Hey! Who told you about that?"

"Blaine, of course. Torturous childhood nickname. I feel for you, Chickadee."

"Shut up!"

"Then don't call me Sebby."

Blaine finally took a break to get some water. He also stopped in the powder room to see if anything could be done with the curling, sweaty mess that was his hair.

When he came back out, he almost ran into Cooper and Sam, who were standing in front of the door with their arms folded across their chests. "We want to talk to you," Cooper said, with a sly smile. Sam got behind him and took him by the shoulders, steering him behind Cooper, who strode into the kitchen.

Blaine chuckled, "What's this all about, you two? Another surprise?"

"Sit down," Sam said, pushing him onto a kitchen stool.

Cooper took off his tuxedo jacket and began to pace the kitchen. "We want the full 411 on what's going on with you and Sebastian."

Sam added, "You've been acting weird since New Year's, and Seb told me he didn't know what was wrong with you this afternoon…"

"But then you two nearly started making out in front of the entire room when you got here," Cooper smirked.

Blaine blushed. "We did not!"

Sam cocked his head to the side, "That hug did go on a little too long, Blaine."

Cooper added, "And I thought Sebastian's hand was migrating towards your ass…"

Blaine blushed redder. "It was not!"

Sam laughed. "Ok, so apart from tonight…what happened after New Year's? That looked like a pretty good kiss at midnight!"

"And it probably would have been more than a kiss if you hadn't cockblocked him…" Cooper said to Sam, laughing.

Sam looked abashed. "Yeah, sorry about that. Anyway, that looked like a good kiss, Blaine! I was so busy watching you guys at midnight that I almost forgot to kiss someone myself!"

Cooper looked at him in horror. "Friendship is one thing my boy, but you definitely lost your head there. How could you not kiss someone with all the cuties in that glee club around?!"

Sam leered, "Don't worry man…I said I ALMOST forgot…I did get some from Mike's cousin Veronica..."

"Ooooh…Veronica! Does she look like that Archie chick?!" Cooper bounced on his toes.

Sam's eyes widened. "Oh my god you're right! I knew there was a reason I was into her! She's totally a Chinese Veronica!"

Cooper leered, "Ohhhhh…the skin, the hair on those Chinese girls…"

"AHEM," Blaine rolled his eyes. "Uh, guys? Can I go back to the party yet?"

"Right, right." Sam snapped out of his dreams of Veronica. "So what's the deal, how did you go from kissing at midnight to being so weird?"

Blaine sighed. "It's hard to explain…but stop your worrying, I think we're going to be fine."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked earnestly.

"Well…I was thinking about this while I was watching some of the performances and eating cake. I was getting really nervous about talking to Sebastian about where we are after that kiss. I mean even with Kurt I was never really good about talking about that kind of stuff…I kind of let things fester, and Kurt didn't help things, either – we both just would keep going, hoping things would magically get better and then things erupted. And with Seb it's not any better…he's also never been in a relationship before. It's kind of what Tina said might…"

"TINA?" Sam interrupted. "You talked to Tina about Sebastian?" Blaine nodded and Sam shook his head. "That is not a good idea, dude. She's so possessive about you sometimes and she thinks Seb is like, Darth Maul. She still hasn't forgiven him for the slushie!"

"What slushie?" Cooper asked, confused.

Blaine glared at Sam. "NOTHING, just a prank. Anyway, maybe you're right, Sam. Tina was trying to be a good friend, but she definitely isn't a big fan of Sebastian and that probably made her more cynical about our kiss and any relationship we might have."

"Did she say anything else?" Sam asked, looking worried.

"Well she did kind of get me wondering if Sebastian thinks we're just going to become friends with benefits. But she was just speculating out loud and changed her mind about it."

"I should hope so, because there is no way he would want that," Cooper said immediately.

Sam agreed. "He knows you too well to think you would be okay with that. And he's a big puddle of goo about you…you should have seen him when I gave him…" Sam stopped himself short.

Cooper and Blaine looked at him with puzzlement. "Gave him what?" they asked together, very much looking like brothers.

"Oh, well…" Sam fumbled.

"Don't bother trying to hide anything from us," Cooper smirked. "The Anderson brothers' powers of interrogation are fierce. We got Willie Appleton to give up his brother's locker combination so we could rig a pudding bomb in it after he bullied Blaine."

Sam raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay…it's just I drew a picture of Blaine and I gave it to Seb for a Christmas present."

Blaine looked at him with incredulity. "What? Wait…what? Oh my…you mean…that picture of me in the green shirt?"

Sam looked guilty. "Yeah."

Blaine's eyes grew huge. "Sam, that's so…weird! He must have thought…I don't know what he must have thought! Sam, why didn't you ask me first?!"

"Because I knew you act just like you're acting right now," Sam said, looking stern.

Cooper interjected. "Squirt, leave him alone. It was a gift Sam gave to Seb. It's between the two of them."

Blaine looked at his brother, annoyed. "Don't call me that." He turned back to Sam and searched for how to describe his thoughts. "But it was…and you're my roommate…and that's just weird!"

"It's not weird," Sam said calmly. "I'm his friend, I know he likes you. So I got something he likes for Christmas, just like I got you all those socks because I know you like them."

Cooper looked at Blaine smugly. "Yeah!"

Blaine put his head in his hands. "Sam, you can't just assume that Seb likes me enough to want a piece of art in my likeness!"

"Blaine, I wasn't assuming! I KNOW he likes you. Actually, I know he _loves_ you.

"FACT: He sang that super romantic song and sang your NAME in it when he didn't think you were listening. Nick played it for me and it's crazy romantic."

"What song?" Cooper asked.

"' _Runaway with Me_ ,' it's Broadway song," Sam answered. "There's a part in it where Seb sang, 'Blaine, I know it's fast. I'm in love with you. Blaine, it's crazy, but Blaine I'm crazier for you. I have these plans, Blaine I have these plans, of a house that we build on a bay when we run away.'"

Blaine chuckled at Sam's overdramatic rendition and dramatic vibrato.

"Wow," Cooper said. He turned to Blaine and nodded his head, saying, "IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"FACT: He ditched a trip to Paris on the day of his flight to stop your wedding."

Cooper came over to put his hands on Blaine's shoulders and say in his ear, "IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU."

"FACT: He could have taken advantage of you in San Francisco in that hotel room, but he didn't. He waited for you." Sam grinned at Cooper.

"IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU." Cooper had switched to speaking into Blaine's other ear and Blaine had to giggle.

"FACT: He writes you long letters almost everyday and send you that expensive letter paper and lots of other care packages and stuff even though Nick and Santana have told me he doesn't send them gifts or write more than a paragraph in any email or text to them."

"IN! LOVE! WITH! YOU!" Cooper jumped around the room, chanting like a cheerleader.

"FACT: Nick told me that he and Seb happened to be at the Lima Bean when you got there with Kurt and that he was acting like a crazy jealous person and couldn't even stay to watch you two together."

"OOOOHHH… PASSIONATELY. IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU." Cooper said lyrically, lying on the kitchen island.

"FACT: When we got to the baggage claim at the beginning of vacation, I saw you and Sebastian hugging and he was smelling your hair when he was hugging you. With his eyes closed!"

Cooper sat bolt upright. "Yeah yeah! There was an episode of _Friends_ about that! Pheromones! SO. IN. LOVE. WITH. YOU!"

Blaine was smiling but he shook his head anyway. "Okay, I get it – you guys think he's in love with me. You'll just forgive me if I don't believe it until I hear it from him. Neither of you probably remember a little thing called the Gap Attack where I put my heart on the line before I knew where the other guy was at. Anyway, I still don't think it justifies you giving him a drawing of me and not telling me about it."

"But Blaine, he really loved it," Sam said with a sincere smile. "He was staring at it with these big cow eyes for like five minutes while I was talking to him. He couldn't take his eyes off of it."

"Well, you are a gifted artist…" Blaine said.

Cooper came over and gave Blaine a huge hug from behind. "Blainers, just accept it." He hugged again. "Just accept the fact that Sebastian loves you. It's okay to think that. It doesn't make you conceited. All the evidence makes it pretty indisputable. And you're worthy of all that Warbler Captain love. JUST ENJOY IT."

Blaine's eyes softened and he patted his brother's cheek. "You are so…much. I love you, Coop."

"I love you too, little brother. But we still didn't get a good explanation from you about how it got from weird to almost humping each other tonight."

Blaine pushed him away. "EWWW! We were not almost humping! It was just a hug!"

Cooper was dismissive. "Potato, potahtoe. We still want an explanation!"

"Okay…um…well before we walked in here tonight, I have to hand it to him, Sebastian really was trying to talk about the kiss and everything…he just was doing kind of a really bad job of it. And I had let Tina kind of get to me and I was stewing about everything and was so freaked out that I kind of took it all out on him and yelled at him."

"Aw, Passive!Aggressive!Blaine. A version of Blaine we can advise Sebastian about," Cooper said sagely to Sam. Sam chuckled.

"Shut up, I'm working on it with my therapist, okay?" Blaine said, his tone joking but his eyes a bit tragic. "We apologized when we were hugging but I'll make sure we talk things through more after the party tonight or tomorrow before he drops me at the airport. I'm not so worried…we'll talk it out. When we're not freaked out, Seb and I actually communicate very well with each other. I just think it will be hard, figuring out what's best now that we've kissed and are feeling romantic about it each other."

"What's best now?" Cooper furrowed his brow at him. "What's best now? Duh, sex!"

Sam laughed, and Blaine blushed.

But he didn't object.

* * *

After the dancing tapped out around midnight, most of the guests had left – quite a few of the "home for the holidays" visitors were saying they still had to finish packing for flights back to their apartments and dorms the next day. Farewells were bittersweet, especially to the Andersons, who would leave for an all day trip to see Aunt Martha before the boys would likely be awake the next day.

"Be well, sweetheart." Mrs. Anderson said to Sebastian, kissing his cheek. "We loved having you, hope we see you again soon." He gave her his small smile and returned her hug for a moment longer than usual. Then she hugged Blaine tightly. "Be safe, darling. It was wonderful to have you home again. I miss you every day."

Blaine welled up and hugged her tightly.

Mr. Anderson shook Sebastian's hand and gave him a small smile and a farewell nod. Mrs. Anderson tugged his sleeve and whispered in his ear. Mr. Anderson then awkwardly hugged Blaine and said, "Good luck at school, son. We'll see you soon enough."

Cooper gave suffocating hugs to both Sebastian and Blaine, then grinning again at them as he leaned over to whisper in Blaine's ear. "If you don't come home tonight, I'll cover for you with Mom and Dad." Blaine blushed and chose not to contemplate whether or not sleeping over at Sebastian's house should even be considered as an option.

When the Andersons were out the door, Blaine rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure my mom had to remind my dad to hug me."

Sebastian chuckled. "Hey at least he did it."

In spite of the chuckle Blaine felt a pang of guilt for being so insensitive. He was sure Mr. Smythe would not be bidding Sebastian an in-person farewell. He squeezed Sebastian's hand and they returned to the small group left, who had moved to the small den in the corner of the first floor. Sebastian sat down on the floor and looped an arm around Santana as they watched Blaine on the couch tune his guitar (Cooper had brought it over) to sing one of his original compositions. He shyly stole glances at Sebastian as he sang:

[](http://imgur.com/nQx2pJ9)

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=ZiiwfIZC2So

_Say, wasn't that a funny day?_  
 _Gee you had a funny way, a way about you_  
 _A kind of glow of something new_

_Sure, I'll admit that I'm the same_  
 _Another sucker for a game kids like to play_  
 _And the rules they like to use_

_Don't you want the way I feel?_  
 _Don't you want the way I feel?_  
 _Don't you want the way I feel for you?_

_The sun telling me the night is done_  
 _Well I refuse to let it stop our fun_  
 _Close your eyes, we'll make it dark again_

_And kiss, there's a thought so how 'bout this?_  
 _Let's pretend that both our lips are made of candy_  
 _After all we need sweets every now and then_

_Don't you want the way I feel?_  
 _Don't you want the way I feel?_  
 _Don't you want the way I feel for you?_

Santana, Sam and Tina were last to leave, Blaine shooing them out with reassurances that he and Sebastian could handle the basic clean-up; just enough so that Teresa and the rest of the staff wouldn't have too daunting of a task the next day before that the outside cleaning crew came to do the heavy cleaning. There were hugs all around: an awkward one between Tina and Sebastian; a casual one for Blaine and Sam; an affectionate one between Sam and Sebastian that made Blaine feel a little weepy; a sweet hug between Blaine and Santana; a tearful one between Tina and Blaine. As Santana hugged Sebastian she whispered in his ear: "Did you hear that song he probably wrote for you and the way he was looking at you? And the way he was watching you during 'Live While We're Young'? You are like a million miles from eunuch territory. Go get 'em, Tiger."

Sebastian laughed and shook his head at her. Then she yelped as he gave her one more crushing hug, burying her against his chest and giving her a kiss on the top of her head. "Nag!" he said.

"Idiot!" she replied.

The faces of their friends contrasted as they cast backwards glances and said waved goodbye to the noteworthy pair they were leaving in the big, empty mansion. Santana looked devilish and she waggled her eyebrows; Tina looked concerned and anxious; Sam looked sentimental and hopeful.

Sebastian and Blaine found trash bags and started to circle the room together, cleaning up. They were both very tired and the alcohol had worn off, which left them starting to feel melancholy again. Sebastian was getting worried by the expression on Blaine's face as they gathered cups to recycle. He was about to say something when he was relieved to see a small smile break out again on Blaine's beautiful face.

"Thanks, Seb – for a wonderful party." Blaine looked very grateful.

"Sam and Tina did a lot of the heavy lifting," Sebastian said. "But you're welcome. We all wanted to do it for you, so you would have one more deep impression of how many fans you have here at home, rooting for you even while you're all the way in Europe."

Blaine didn't answer.

"You were in great voice tonight, too. I know you've been studying music theory and composition and dance and everything, but we wanted to remind you of what an amazing singer you are, too."

Blaine sat down on the end of the stage, reminded of the vibrato. But that's not what was bringing him down, he realized.

"You ok, B?"

Blaine sighed. "Yes and no." He rubbed his own neck and wore such a beseeching look that Sebastian came over and place a comforting hand at the small of his back.

"It's just…it was just amazing tonight. I felt so happy and loved…" Blaine continued, winking a tear from his eye. "It's just it kind of makes me not want to go back to the RC."

Sebastian nodded, running his palm down the back of Blaine's hair and rubbing his neck soothingly.

"God I was so lonely out there sometimes, Seb."

"I know," Seb said soothingly.

"Sometimes…sometimes at night in my bed there, it reminded me of some nights when I was a kid, when my parents would be out somewhere…after Cooper moved out. The house was so big and my room felt so small." Blaine said quietly.

Sebastian put his arm around Blaine.

"It also sometimes felt like…" Blaine hesitated for several beats.

"Like what?" Sebastian asked quietly.

"Like I did when Kurt was in New York and I could never get a hold of him right before we broke up. And sometimes at the RC it feels like McKinley in the beginning of last year, I feel like I'm floating, with no anchor."

Sebastian bit his lip and tried to think of something comforting to say.

"Before Kurt, my anchor was Dalton, and after Kurt my anchor was Glee Club and Student Council and even the Cheerios. But especially Dalton, I miss so much. Those guys, you know those guys…they were so accepting and fun and supportive. I never worried if I was liked or if I fit in or if I might get slushied. They were just there for me, no matter what. I always thank Wes, he set me up there."

Sebastian nodded in agreement as he thought about how the Warblers forgave him after the slushie incident and how they came together after the Hunter/steroid debacle and convinced the headmaster to reappoint him captain again.

"School before and after Kurt were places where I belonged and didn't feel lonely, they were places where I had friends. I don't have real friends at the RC. And I'm only there a year, I'm afraid I won't make any friends there in just the two quarters I have left. And sometimes when I'm feeling bitter I just think, 'What's the point in getting to know these people? I'm only going to be with them for 9 months [now less]. I'm just going to have to say goodbye to them, too."

Sebastian heard the bitterness in Blaine's voice and nodded. They sat in silence, thinking about Blaine's situation. Sebastian moved a bit apart from Blaine so he could see him more properly. Then he finally spoke up. "Can I offer you a few words of wisdom from Grandmother Fondeur?"

[](http://imgur.com/Fpp4iS0)

"Yes, please." Blaine said with a slight smile.

"It is what it is."

Blaine nodded, waiting for Sebastian to continue.

"She's always encouraged me to accept situations that I can't change and do what I could with them. Like when my parents divorced. She told me I could wallow in my situation or I could take advantage of the fact that both my parents might feel guilty about it and that I should milk that for what it's worth."

Blaine had to laugh at that.

"I told you she's no angel," Sebastian laughed. "But I got a new bike out of that divorce."

He grew serious again. "But for you B, I think she'd say, 'Who cares if you're only going to see these people on a daily basis for another 6 months? ' She'd also say 'Who cares if they aren't going to ever be as close to you as Tina or me or Sam?' Accept and enjoy those friendships for what they are while you have them. Hell, that's what Nick said at the start of our San Francisco vacation. He told me to enjoy you while I had you instead of being an asshole and pushing you away.

"Those people at the RC - they are people you are sharing an experience with. Tina and I are never going to totally get what it was like go to the RC with you – the good, bad and the ugly. You will be able to get together with these people in 5 or 10 years from now and have a great laugh about how disgusting that cafeteria food was, but how you had to eat it sometimes when you were in a hurry. Don't worry about saying goodbye to them, you're not going to be as close to them as you are to Tina, so the goodbye isn't going to be as hard. Do you get what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do," Blaine said gratefully. "That's a really great perspective to have, Seb. Thank your grandma for me."

Sebastian paused before speaking again. "Can I be honest with you about something else, too?"

"Of course," Blaine said.

"From your letters and our Skype calls, I don't get the sense that you are really putting your whole self out there, the real Blaine Anderson that draws fans by the dozen. I think all the stuff you were just talking about, about being afraid of having to say goodbye to people, about only being with them for 6 more months…I think that has been holding you back some." Sebastian furrowed his brow. "But what the hell do I know? You should probably ask that shrink of yours."

"No, you're probably right," Blaine said. He looked into Sebastian's eyes with love and gratitude. "What am I going to do without you tomorrow?"

Sebastian wasn't ready to go there yet. "You're going to sit on a plane without me, which you should be happy about, because when I fly I always fall asleep and snore and I always hog the armrest and my legs tend to migrate into my neighbor's space – even in first class."

They both jumped as they heard the turn of the lock on the front door.

[](http://imgur.com/HO4KK5d)

"Hello, Dad."

* * *

Thanks for reading! Hope the New Year's Eve cockblock series was funny and not too frustrating for you (you couldn't be any more frustrated than Seblaine)! Please let us know what you think, what you liked, disliked. Do we throw too many parties in this fic? Were you surprised by this one? Were Cooper and Sam too annoying? Most importantly, does Seb still seem believable as a character? I always get too worried that he comes across too soft. But hopefully you agree with me that he's a very human guy with all the soft insides, and Blaine has helped him become more self-aware about that. I know he's kind of a goof with Santana, but I think she's special to him, too. Again these reviews keep us honest and keep us going even when we're still hungover from peppermint bark. Last but not least, everyone give a shout out to Thomas, Dori and Rosalie for beta rewarding this one! P.S. SPOILER: There have been many of you who have been demanding it...so expect to see smut in the next chapter! I have never written any before though, so don't expect quality!


	13. Meeting Mr. Smythe and Another Walk in the Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Smythe yells at Seb. Seb and Blaine go for a cold walk in the snow and it gets hot. I give the people what they want.

Sebastian stood up to greet his father, taking a deep breath. Blaine stood up too, barely breathing.

"Sebastian," William Smythe said brusquely, slamming the door behind him. "What…"

"Dad," Sebastian cut in boldly, "This is my friend Blaine Anderson. He and I met at Dalton. You knew his dad Richard Anderson, when you were boys?"

Mr. Smythe looked thrown for a moment, but remembered his manners. He extended his hand with a polite smile. "Of course. Your father has come a long way since we played baseball in the park together."

Blaine smiled politely in return and shook his hand firmly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Smythe."

"Blaine, was it?" Mr. Smythe asked. Blaine nodded. "Would you excuse my son and I for a few minutes?"

"Of course," Blaine said politely. "I'll just go into the kitchen and get myself a drink of water." He ducked quickly through the swinging door to the kitchen, flashing Sebastian his most sympathetic glance.

Sebastian took a breath and braced himself. And as he predicted, the moment the door swung behind Blaine, his father lit into him:

"What the hell were you thinking, throwing a party here?!"

"Dad, you said I could have run of the house while I was home. And we're cleaning up."

"Run of the house means you can use the jacuzzi when you want to, run of the house means you can play your little piano as loud as you want to…run of the house does NOT mean that you can throw a huge party to scuff the floors, disturb the neighbors, and make a huge mess for Teresa and the rest of the staff to clean up after you. It's like you're still 15, for Chrissake. Or 5."

The swinging door provided no soundproofing for the kitchen, so Blaine was stuck hearing every word, sitting on a kitchen stool, leaning against the kitchen island with his head in his hands.

Sebastian said stiffly, "I'm getting the floors done, our closest neighbor is a quarter mile away. But look, I'm sorry – clearly we miscommunicated…I didn't mean to…"

"YOU look here, young man. WE did not miscommuncate. YOU took advantage of a situation. AGAIN."

Sebastian stood his ground, his mouth in a firm, straight line. "No. I really wasn't trying to take advantage of anything. I just didn't think it was a big deal. I wasn't trying to push your buttons."

"We're going to have to pay the staff extra to clean up this mess. As if they don't have enough to do around here with all the snow we've been having."

Sebastian said coolly, "There's a separate cleaning staff coming in tomorrow to do the hardest work - like the floors."

"And how much is that going to cost me?"

"Nothing. Blaine's parents insisted on paying for it. The party was for Blaine's birthday."

His father exploded. "What?! Sebastian, what on earth did you let them do that for?"

"They insisted…" Sebastian said, furrowing his brow. _What was the big fucking deal?_

"Have you no pride, Sebastian? If you are going to throw a party, particularly with old money like Richard Anderson, at least do it with some class. Tell me that you didn't let them pay for the food and drinks and all these goddamned decorations and flowers. "

"No, I didn't let them," Sebastian said, running a hand through his hair.

"Smythes don't let other people pay in their own homes. Jesus, I thought you knew that – Sebastian do you remember nothing I've told you?!"

Sebastian didn't bother to try to respond, there was no point when his father was like this. There was nothing he could say that could be satisfactory. He just picked up his trash bag again and continued to pick up cans and bottles. He spoke calmly, really hoping the tongue lashing was over. "Again, I'm sorry. Are you staying the night?"

He watched his father stride up the stairs. "No, I'm just getting my ski things. I'm leaving tomorrow for Whistler."

 _With Sally_ , Sebastian guessed. Sebastian liked Sally well enough, but it didn't stop him from resenting her at the same time.

While his father was upstairs packing a bag, Sebastian swung the door to the kitchen open to check in on Blaine. "He's upstairs getting some stuff, but he's leaving, thank god." he said apologetically. "You okay in here?" Blaine walked over to the door and looked up at Sebastian. He gave his hand a squeeze and Sebastian looked down at him with an appreciative smile.

He heard his father coming down the stairs so he ducked back out to the entry hall. His father walked past him without a word, heading to the kitchen.

Sebastian quickly followed him, gritting his teeth and hoping Blaine didn't have a heartattack at his father storming in on him.

But Blaine was calmly drinking his water as they two Smythes burst in. Sebastian sighed in relief when his father sailed through the room without a word and went out the door to the garage.

"He must be getting his skis," Sebastian said. "I'm sorry you had to hear all that."

"Don't worry about me," Blaine said, "I'm just sorry he isn't nicer to you."

Sebastian gave his arm a squeeze.

Mr. Smythe returned shortly, carrying his skis.

"Need a hand with that?" Blaine asked politely and bravely.

"No, thanks," Mr. Smythe said briskly.

Sebastian held the swinging door open for him and rolled his eyes at Blaine before heading back out to the entry hall.

"The door." his father commanded. Sebastian was already in front of him to open and hold the door open, follow him out, and wordlessly help his father strap the skis on top of the car.

"I fly back to Stanford tomorrow," he mentioned casually as they headed back in the house. _In case you care where the hell I ever am._

"I have been meaning to ask you how it went last quarter," his father said, turning to face him with his arms crossed across his chest.

Sebastian was cringing internally, kicking himself for offering his own head up on a platter. "Good. Most of my classmates and I agreed that everyone we've talked to had a rocky start to the quarter – all the freshmen seemed to – but that it ended up okay."

"Stop beating around the bush, Sebastian. What were your grades? And don't lie to me. I know when you are lying to me."

Sebastian decided to just rip off the band-aid. He spit out robotically: "Calculus, A; Engineering, B; Literature, B+; History, A-"

His father hit the roof. "How do you expect to get into Harvard Business school with those grades? They are already going to think your grades don't mean as much because they are from Stanford Sunshine University." He ran his hand through his hair in the exact same way Sebastian had and spoke in agitation. "If you would have just gone to Harvard…who doesn't accept an admissions offer from Harvard?!"

Sebastian folded his arms low across this body. "Dad, it's over. I'm enrolled at Stanford. Enough."

"And if you would just go pre-law you wouldn't have to take those inane math and science classes."

Sebastian didn't bother answering, looking at his father squarely in the eye. Blaine, peeking through the crack between the doorjamb and the swinging door, looked on in awe.

"You told me you could handle that double major. You said you could do it, Sebastian. When are you ever going to listen to me?!" Mr. Smythe complained. "You went and joined a bunch of your ridiculous clubs, didn't you?"

Sebastian was still silent, restraining himself from rolling his eyes.

"Didn't you? Answer me, young man. I'm paying for that expensive school and all of your designer clothes and that car and I want to know what you've been doing there."

Sebastian took a deep breath. "Yes. I joined some clubs to give me an outlet to manage stress and blow off some steam. I made first string on the lacrosse team, I'm the choreographer and I'm going to be a soloist in an acapella group, I joined a triathlon team and I joined the fencing team. But I'm dropping fencing next quarter so I can get a Smythe report card."

"I should hope so." Mr. Smythe said. "But what the hell were you thinking, doing all that on top of four courses? Since when does a Smythe need so many goddamn 'outlets to manage stress?' You may as well have handed in your ticket to business school. How could you have thought it possible for you to get Smythe grades with all those time-sucking extracurriculars? I thought you'd learned something at Dalton about that. Have some sense, Sebastian!"

"I did learn at Dalton, Dad. I made the grades to be valedictorian while I did lacrosse, fencing, debate, drama, soccer and was captain of the Warblers."

"Sebastian, I certainly hope you don't trot out your little high school accomplishments like that to other people – you sound incredibly conceited. At any rate Stanford isn't Dalton and you should have known that. You have to THINK before you leap, Sebastian – I swear you still act like you're five years old sometimes. And I told you that your arrogance would catch up with you – so there you have it. Don't screw up again, do you understand?"

Sebastian didn't answer, just kept his arms crossed his midsection and bit his lower lip.

"And don't go getting yourself an STD up in San Francisco, and don't get in with the wrong crowd at Stanford. If you get implicated in something like that steroid business again, business school admissions offices will catch wind of it. They do google and social media checks on their admits now."

"Dad I didn't take the steroids, you know that. And I track my tags on Facebook and everywhere else and keep it very clean."

"Stop talking back to me, Sebastian – how is it possible that you are more disrespectful now that you are technically an adult? It doesn't matter if you took the steroids or not. You were surrounded by it and you didn't tell anyone about it. If you get implicated with another skeevy character, you're going to get in more trouble."

Sebastian grew quiet, not wanting to be accused of talking back.

"Sebastian, you're 18 now – you're supposed to be a grown man – act like one." Mr. Smythe opened the front door, his bag on this shoulder. "And make sure you pay for those cleaners – don't let Richard Anderson pay."

And with that, he was gone, the door slamming shut behind him.

Sebastian stood staring at the closed door, his arms now crossed over his chest.

Blaine came out cautiously, walking up behind Sebastian and gently laying a hand on his forearm.

Sebastian didn't move, but he said, "And that, my dear Watson…is my father."

Blaine stared at the door and said, "Damn, he's a bigger asshole than I thought."

Sebastian finally looked at him with a pained smile. "That's some mouth on you Anderson. I've officially completely corrupted you. I'm so proud."

Blaine was still pissed. "I'm sorry, but I just can't believe he treats you like that, he didn't really hear anything you had to say, and he can't seem to value what you..."

Sebastian said stiffly, "Can we not talk about him? He's just not worth it. We had such a good night, let's not let him ruin it."

"Of course," Blaine said anxiously. "Do you want to go for a walk? I was looking out the kitchen windo ws and there's an amazing moon out tonight, even if it's playing hide and seek with the storm clouds. "

Sebastian nodded and they bundled up before stepping outside. Outside the moon was indeed peeking brightly between large clouds. There were drifts of snow across the huge lawn separating the Smythe mansion from gardens and the rest of the well-lit Motta estate across the way, but the gardeners had dug paths around the perimeters. The tree branches and the skeletons of bushes were outlined and covered in white.

They walked in a silence for a several minutes, until Blaine spoke up first. "This vacation went by fast," he remarked.

Sebastian held up a hand, his voice still tense. "Is this the beginning of a weepy goodbye? Because I just can't tonight…"

Blaine looked at his brave, handsome face sympathetically. "No, no. I was just thinking about what a great time it's been. I promise I'll stop there."

Sebastian nodded silently.

"I mean this vacation didn't have the Top of the Mark or the Golden Gate Bridge or Hollywood, but it was home and I loved it. It was being with my family and my best friends during my favorite time of year. I got to do pretty much everything I love doing here, and then some."

"Everything except ice skating," Sebastian remarked.

"Except ice skating, but instead we had the most fun party I've ever been to – singing all those songs, being surrounded by pretty much everyone I love for my birthday. Thank you again for that."

Sebastian gave him a small, fond smile and nodded.

Blaine swallowed and looked brave, picking up their walking pace at the same time. "And I'm going to remember Grandmother Fondeur's advice and cherish tonight and these two weeks for what they are – wonderful memories that can strengthen me, not make me sad. I'll take all this love back to Scotland to bolster my spirits to enjoy the wonderful opportunity I have there. I am going to be thankful it was restful and fun and comforting and everything a vacation should be."

"That sounds just right, Killer." Sebastian said, heartened by Blaine's courage. His mood lifted a bit as the snow and pebbles on the path crunched under their feet.

They had reached the edge of the Motta estate.

Blaine stopped and stared at the Motta mansion. "Man, it seems like a dream, the last time I was there…"

Sebastian nodded, raising his eyebrows. "It was quite a weekend."

Blaine chuckled. "I was so mad at you for coming back and stirring up trouble."

"You know that's a specialty of mine," said Sebastian, smirking in spite of himself.

"You confused the hell out of me," Blaine said with a smile, shaking his head. "You were so annoying, lecturing me and being a nuisance with Cooper; but then you rolled in that bar cart of sheet music, including 'Wonderland.' And later you said you bought that bar where we sang it? Did you really do that?"

"Yes," Sebastian said with small smile. "We've been working on the business plan since September. Trent's dad is sending me a more remodel estimates to review next month. I wasn't going to say anything to you until we reopened it." He raised his eyebrows impishly.

"Awww, that's amazing," Blaine said with a smile. He started walking again. "Of course the only reason I was annoyed with you was because you were speaking the truth I didn't want to hear. You called me on all my perfectionist BS." He glanced over at Sebastian. "Have you noticed I've been working on that? I'm not as obsessed with my grades at the RC, I haven't been taking on as much…I've been trying to just…let go more."

"Yes on all counts," Sebastian acknowledged. "And you've been using less gel in your hair," he added, smriking.

"Yeah, I guess not." Blaine chuckled. "And I tried not to overreact to everything my dad said to me during the holidays. I look back on high school now and see that it was silly - trying to be perfect for him, always comparing myself to Cooper." He laughed as he continued. "Though now I have to compare myself to you, and it's no contest. You're my dad's favorite by a mile! "

Sebastian let out a laugh. "Oh, it's easy for him to hang with me because he doesn't have to worry about me – I'm not his kid to screw up. That," he shook his head with a sardonic smirk, "would be a job for Mr. William J. Smythe. And he's doing a bang-up job."

Blaine hooked his arm in Sebastian's and looked at him with love. Sebastian immediately opened his mouth to say something.

But Blaine spoke first. "NOT pitying you." Sebastian gave him a wry smile. "In fact," Blaine continued with conviction, " I was thinking of how much I admire you for being the bigger man and not blowing up at him."

They walked on in silence for a minute, looking at the moon. "Spending time with your family on vacation just makes him seem ten times worse than he is," Sebastian said with a trace of remorse. Then he shrugged his shoulders. "But it is what it is."

Blaine was still troubled. "I guess so. It just makes me so upset that he talks to you like that. Especially since it's so clear that you love him and that you treat _him_ respectfully…"

Sebastian said ruefully. "Well, I wasn't always very respectful. I was quite a snotty, rebellious brat for a long time."

"But can't he see how much you've grown?"

"Blaine, I hardly see him – a couple of times a year, _maybe_. When I do see him he's too busy issuing orders to stop and actually look at me or notice much about me. Except when he wants to pick on my appearance. I'm actually quite surprised he didn't tell me tonight that my hair looks like Pat Riley's or that my clothes look cheap. I guess the disgraceful report card distracted him." He shrugged again. "But it doesn't matter. I've learned not to let it get to me too much."

It started to snow but neither of them took much notice, too wrapped up in their conversation to care.

"Your hair looks nothing like Pat Riley's. I can't believe he picks on your appearance, when you are objectively so handsome," Blaine said stoutly. "He needs to stop and appreciate who you are now. If he did, I would think he should be proud…"

Sebastian's eyes softened. As Blaine continued talking, Sebastian stopped them under a barren tree that provided no shelter from the snow. He pulled his cap off to dust the snow off of it, giving Blaine a sideways glance.

[](http://imgur.com/mGl59uz) [x](http://mcfanderson.deviantart.com/art/the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year-sebastian-420158318) [](http://imgur.com/FMrOKic)[x](http://mcfanderson.deviantart.com/art/the-most-wonderful-time-of-the-year-blaine-420158271)

Blaine was speaking earnestly, staring off through the snow in the distance. "You're so smart and talented, you work so hard, you take such good care of your grandmother, you have beautiful manners, you're so brave and passionate and you're not afraid to do or say what you think is right. And you're so good to your friends…" He added impulsively, "You're so good to me. You managed to take care of me while I was 5000 miles away. And now I have to leave you tomorrow… " his big eyes grew sad. "Ugh, I miss you already."

Sebastian thought Blaine was the sweetest sight he had ever seen. He had such a vital, loving quality about him that Sebastian always marveled at. He focused on any redeeming qualities Sebastian had and looked past all the ways he was a tremendous idiot and jerk. He couldn't believe Blaine chose to spend so much time with him.

Blaine blushed as he realized he broke his promise about weepy goodbyes. He concluded resolutely, "Your father is an idiot. You are wonderful. You deserve better treatment."

Sebastian turned and put his arms around him, pulling a surprised Blaine close. Next he pressed their foreheads together, looked into Blaine's eyes and said in a low voice, "I _do_ get better treatment. I have you."

"You do," Blaine breathed back. Sebastian's lips hovered inches from his.

"And you have me," Sebastian whispered.

In the next moment their eyes fluttered closed and they found each other in a kiss both urgent and lingering. They lingered until that moment was theirs, belonging just to the two of them. They lingered to surrender to that most intimate and most thrilling, most dizzying and most ardent, most passionate and most delicate of moments.

Sebastian had never felt so invincible and fragile at the same time – his hand slid up to Blaine's curls while his other arm held him fast by the waist, as if he were his ballast. Everything was melting away in a rush of emotion and adrenaline: the feelings of failure and disappointment; all the terrible mistakes he'd made; the exhausting years of holding up walls around him. None of it mattered if he could hold and kiss Blaine, whose heart was made of something precious he'd never encountered before. Sebastian felt fairly certain he would never be able to fully express how he really felt about Blaine, but he knew he would spend his life trying.

Blaine clutched at Sebastian's coat lapels with both hands, feeling dizzy, turned sideways and oddly grounded all at the same time. Even while the kiss made him feel like he was rocketing off his heels, he felt like he had finally come home. The years of working to please everyone else, trying too hard and floating felt finally over. All he could feel was this beautiful, unexpected man slotting into his body, into his being, into his life in an exquisite way he never knew possible. He was blissed out and drunk on the taste of Sebastian, yet fervently determined to kiss him back with all the passion and love he deserved.

So Blaine was the one who parted their lips first, his tongue urgently licking into Sebastian's mouth. Sebastian responded with intensity, their tongues mingling and their lips kissing to convey what they couldn't say with words. The snow was coming down more heavily but neither of them noticed, the rush of emotions overwhelming them and leaving no awareness but the press of their lips and their bodies together and the pounding in their chests.

They finally parted to catch their breath, staring at each other, lips still parted, eyes bright yet overwhelmed. A moment later they broke into sweet smiles and laughter. "Ok, kissing you is even better without 15 of our friends watching," Sebastian laughed, taking a deep breath.

Blaine nodded breathlessly, smiling shyly. He couldn't even talk, he was so dazed. He threw his head back and closed his eyes, trying to get his bearings.

Sebastian gazed at the dark curls sparkling with snow, the gorgeous skin, the swollen, reddened lips; the dark fringe of lashes with a few snowflakes glistening on them. All he ever wanted, right there - finally, inconceivably, wanting him.

Without warning Sebastian's mouth captured Blaine's again. He pushed him up against the tree trunk, one hand on the back of his neck again and the other unabashedly grabbing Blaine's ass. Blaine thought he was going to explode as they kissed roughly and Sebastian's knee came between his legs and he started grinding him into the tree. It was so much Sebastian everywhere and Blaine felt himself radiating with desire and exhilaration.

But then suddenly he was gone. Blaine opened his eyes and saw Sebastian's handsome face looking serious, hovering just a few inches above him. "I'm sorry," he said breathlessly, his green eyes dark. "I just couldn't help myself…But…" he panted, "I don't want to mess this up…do we need to talk? Should we…"

"Shhh, stop worrying, Gorgeous. And please don't stop..." Blaine said urgently, grabbing him by the scarf to kiss him again, all tongue and lips and wet and heat rushing everywhere again.

"Oh thank god…"Sebastian breathed into ear, grinding into him again. "I don't want to ever, ever stop. "

Blaine groaned, and popped Sebastian's coat buttons open to slip his hands underneath his coat and around his waist to pull him closer. His hands migrated down to Sebastian's ass and he sighed at how delicious it felt.

"Fuck, Killer." Sebastian murmured, moving on to kissing as much of Blaine's neck as he could while loosening his scarf. "I want you so much," he whispered urgently.

"I want you so much, too," Blaine breathed. "Let's go back to the house, then."

"But I want you right now," Sebastian snarled, ripping the scarf off of his neck.

"We'll get frostbite!" Blaine laughed and started walking hurriedly down the path, Sebastian still attached to his neck, their arms wrapped around each others' waists. He giggled as Sebastian bit and nibbled his neck. "Come on, hurry up!"

Sebastian's head popped up and he laughed too, but he started nibbling on Blaine's ear again next, making it just as awkward for them to walk. Then he almost tripped when Blaine's hand slipped under his coat again, this time yanking his shirt up to run his hand over the bare skin of his lower back and under his belt. "Fuck this walking shit," he hissed, sprinting for home, dragging a laughing Blaine behind him.

They got to the front door breathless and Sebastian fumbled through his coat for a key and fitted it into the lock. He glanced up as he turned the key and caught Blaine looking tenderly at him. He gave Blaine a questioning look. "B, I need to you to be totally honest – because I'll figure it out if you're not. I need you to stop and ask yourself – are you giving in to me here because you feel sorry for me tonight?"

Blaine looked at him like he was crazy. "Are you kidding me? No way. No, no no. No, not for a split second have I been thinking of you and your father while kissing you and groping you." He laughed merrily.

Sebastian had to laugh too, feeling foolish.

Blaine arched his back against the door and gave him a sensual smile. "I've been wanting this since you wrestled me on your bed last week. No, since I caught you in that towel coming out of the shower." Then his voice got low and sexy. "Oh, who am I kidding? I've been wanting this for two years."

The statement went straight to Sebastian's cock. He grabbed Blaine by the waist and started kissing him again, biting on his lower lip, exploring his mouth ardently.

But then it was Blaine's turn to pull back for a moment, with a question of his own. "And you don't just want to do this to make me feel better about saying goodbye tomorrow? Do you think I use you as an emotional crutch?"

"A what?" Sebastian asked breathlessly, as he kissed his way down Blaine's neck. Then he looked up with serious green eyes. "No, this isn't a pity thing, absolutely not." He kissed Blaine tenderly on the mouth again. "I want you…" he kissed, "I've always wanted you…" he kissed some more, "no matter…" he kissed him on the neck again, "what mood..." he kissed behind his ear, "you're in."

Blaine moaned as Sebastian kissed up the other side of his neck. Blaine pulled out the front of Sebastian's shirt and slipped his hand under it again, this time to glide over his abs. "You are the sexiest man alive, I swear," he whispered wantonly.

Sebastian's expression turned to one of unbridled lust. He pushed Blaine against the door, pinning him by the wrists. He started kissing him fiercely and Blaine kissed ferociously right back. Sebastian ripped Blaine's coat open, grinding up against him while Blaine whined deliciously. "Damn, I love the noises you're making," Sebastian whispered into his mouth.

Blaine kissed down Sebastian's neck and his hands slipped under the coat and onto his lower back, under his shirt, then on to his ass. Their mouths met again in a heated kiss before Sebastian palmed Blaine, groaning in disbelieving pleasure. Blaine felt dizzy and bit into Sebastian's neck.

After a few minutes of being blown by the snow flurries, Sebastian finally took a moment to think straight and finally open the door, Blaine nearly falling as they stumbled their way through the threshold. Sebastian closed the door and Blaine pushed him against it, kissing him at a slow, romantic pace as they pulled off their coats and kicked off their snowy shoes and socks, their bodies pressed together tightly.

Blaine's felt high, smelling Sebastian's cologne and sweat and pheromones . Then suddenly he found himself literally swept off his feet as Sebastian lifted him into his arms, kissing him passionately as he carried him up the giant dark red carpeted staircase, taking two steps at a time.

When they reached his bedroom Sebastian kicked the door open and crashed them both onto the bed. Finally they were in bed together, doing exactly what they should be doing in bed together. In a surprise move, Blaine then rolled them over so he could straddle Sebastian, leaning over to attack his hot mouth with kisses, combing his fingers through his hair and grinding their hard-ons together.

Blaine taking control like that was sexier than he ever thought it would have been - Sebastian almost came right then and there. And just when he thought it might not get better, Blaine tried to rip off his shirt while he kissed the skin he could access on his neck and shoulders. Blaine Anderson was ripping his clothes off. Was he dreaming?

"Why do you buy such well-made clothes?" Blaine laughed, kissing each beauty spot he could find in on his neck and collarbone and chest. "If this was a Gap shirt I would have been able to tear the buttons right off."

Sebastian was too busy unbuckling Blaine's belt to answer.

Eventually the shirt was completely undone and Blaine thought he was coming undone himself at the sight of Sebastian's bare torso. He started kissing him and gliding his fingertips all over his taut abs, sexy muscled arms, smooth chest. He panted, "God Seb, you're so beautiful, I've been wanting to do this for forever…" He stopped to take a nipple with his teeth and take Sebastian's cock in hand at the same time, causing his Sebastian to arch up and grip him by his dark curly locks.

Blaine slid back up Sebastian's body and pressed their hard-ons desperately together again as he was stripped of his own shirt. In no time their pants and boxer briefs were disposed of as well and they were moaning as their completely bare bodies met for the first time.

And with that Sebastian flipped them and slammed Blaine against the headboard as he started to devour him, from his tender mouth to his neck to his shoulders, arms, chest and strong abs. Sebastian hands gripped roughly, not holding back an ounce of his desire. Hands were also roaming everywhere, thighs pressing, hard-ons sliding desperately together. Sebastian worked his mouth again down Blaine's chest, licking and nipping and kissing until he was gripping his tiny waist as he reached his highly desired target.

Sebastian licked and sucked and massaged until Blaine bucked up into his mouth more than once. Blaine thought he was going to lose his mind in pleasure. After a few minutes, somehow in his delirium he managed to guide Sebastian back up to kiss his mouth again. He was afraid he would come too soon and wanted to feel closer to him, holding him tightly and kissing him as tears came to his eyes. Their hands were everywhere at once again, gripping and massaging and stroking and Blaine couldn't track any of it and didn't care.

Sebastian then slowly, teasingly started sucking all over Blaine's body, claiming every part of him and smiling against his skin while Blaine moaned with each lick and nip and suck. Then he flipped Blaine over to kiss every inch of the back of his neck, his shoulders, his back. He lingered at his lower back and where the swell of his ass began, and kissed him all over each cheek before moving up to rub his aching hard-on between them.

"Please...Seb…" Blaine moaned.

Sebastian felt drunk as he reached over to the bedside table and pulled the lube from the drawer. He whispered, "Do you want me to wear a condom? I swear I'm clean and there's been no one but the fantasy of you in my bed." 

"I trust you," Blaine whispered back, drunk on the idea of Sebastian fantasizing about him in bed.

Sebastian started to coat himself but Blaine stopped him, wanting to be the one to feel his cock in his hands. He stroked and slicked Sebastian's impressive cock until Sebastian had to ask him to stop so he wouldn't come.

He barely held himself together as he prepped Blaine, probably for longer than necessary. Blaine grew impatient, but Sebastian felt he couldn't be too gentle if Blaine hadn't had sex for months.

Nothing could have prepared either of them for how it felt for Sebastian to enter Blaine - it was surreal, then painful, then incredibly intense and more than anything, beautifully intimate. Wordlessly Blaine signaled to Sebastian to move and suddenly there was so much sensation and so much heat. 

Blaine's eyes fluttered closed as he found himself surrounded with more love and beauty and _Sebastian_ than he ever found imaginable. Then he looked up and was reminded of the splendor and magnificence that was the visual of Sebastian Smythe, smooth muscles glistening, silky hair curling…but also that gorgeous face looking down at him with so much desire and love that all Blaine could do at that moment was believe it to be true.

Sebastian had often closed his eyes during a one night stand but tonight he couldn't stop looking at Blaine Anderson, completely undone, debauched and looking like the definition of sex in his arms. With every thrust Blaine's beautiful eyes looked up at him adoringly, making him feel the best he had ever been and like he could do anything for him. Blaine was so tight and hot all around him, meeting him with every thrust and drag and push until he felt almost drugged.

Sebastian thought he couldn't breathe and he didn't mind if he had to die like this, even though what he really wanted was for it to never, ever end.

The pleasure made their senses overflow and the emotions so intense that they thought they were going to explode. Not wanting to come too soon, Sebastian began to stroke Blaine's cock in time with each increasingly intense thrust, listening to the beautiful sound of Blaine's reactions pushing up against the force building inside him. It was sweet pain to hold on, on, on, until he finally let go when he felt Blaine fall apart beneath him. Vision went white, senses blacked out, and emotions released in a flood as their orgasms hit them with inconceivable force at nearly the same time.

Sebastian collapsed on top of Blaine, breathing heavily. After a minute or two, Blaine whimpered, "Don't go…" as Sebastian pulled out and kissed his cheek before landing face down next to him, a long arm wrapping around Blaine's waist.

"Sorry babe, I just don't want to crush you."

"I know…I just loved how you felt inside me."

"Yes, god I know."

They basked in the beautiful energy of the moment for a few minutes. Blaine was the first speak up, staring at the ceiling. "Wow, I can't believe we did that."

Sebastian came up from lying on his cheek to lean on his elbows. "Wait, is that a good 'wow' or an 'oh shit I totally regret this wow'?"

"Good, good, good," Blaine chuckled, leaning up to kiss him. "An off-the-charts 'wow.' I just can't believe that after two years we actually did it."

Sebastian smiled at him. "Yeah."

Blaine smiled back at him. "And wow, it was incredible. You live up to your reputation, sir." Then he looked a bit anxious. "Was it good…"

Sebastian smirked and leaned down to kiss him while he ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes I thought it was fucking amazing. We are definitely doing that again," he grinned. "And by the way, your bedhead is so adorable."

Blaine patted his head a bit self-consciously and chuckled. "Yours is, too." Then he looked serious. "And yes, we are definitely doing that again. I'm so glad you want to."

Sebastian furrowed his brow at him. "Did you seriously think I was going to treat this like a one night stand?"

Blaine's eyes were wide. "I don't know…I didn't want to think so…"

Sebastian kissed him again. "No, a thousand times no. In fact, I want to make you moan yes, a thousand times yes." He kissed him again sweetly and glided his hand up Blaine's chest to rub circles around his nipples and trace along his collarbone. "Damn babe, you were making the sexiest sounds ever . I think you should record _that_ on your first studio album. "

Blaine chuckled and hummed, "Mmmm…that feels good. God it feels so good to be so close to you, baby."

"I can't get enough of you," Sebastian murmured, kissing along his arm. "I swear normally I'm sleepy after sex because of how much energy I put into it, but I am fucking pumped with adrenaline I think, after bedding Blaine Devon Anderson." He leaned down and kissed along his hipbone. "And god, you taste so good, I want to eat you for breakfast."

Blaine looked at the clock and sighed. "Oh I don't want it to be Sunday already. I don't want to leave."

Sebastian tweaked his nose. "No weepy goodbyes, remember? We're going to milk the next twelve hours for all it's worth, so don't give up on me now. Because I have a lot more I want to do to you before the sun rises," he grinned a wicked grin as he swept his hand lightly over Blaine's groin, knowing he was probably still sensitive.

Blaine smiled even as he twitched at his touch. Then he leaned himself up to kiss him and whisper in his ear. "God you are so fucking sexy. And don't think we're going to get to sunrise without me fucking you every which way, too."

Sebastian smirked and he rolled onto his back. "Fuck, Killer – you are full of surprises…"

Blaine grinned at him before he rolled him over gently onto his chest and straddled him. "Well after my surprise party it seems like the least I can do," he said, kissing down his spine as he cupped his ass with his hands.

It wasn't too long before they commenced on Round 2; and Round 3; and Round 4; which included the Diva costume that Sebastian made Blaine fetch from the "backstage area" downstairs; and Round 5, which included the Dalton blazer and tie that Blaine brought up as well from downstairs.

At around 6AM they were getting hungry, but neither of them had any desire to get out of bed. Blaine lay on top of Sebastian, whispering tenderly, "I can't believe I get to be with you." He kissed a trail down Sebastian's neck. "That first time at the Lima Bean…when you told me you'd lived in Paris…I think that was the first time I had a dirty thought about you."

Sebastian smirked, closed his eyes and arched his neck back to give him better access. "You liar. You've been wanting me since I went after you like a wolf during 'Uptown Girl.'"

Blaine smiled broadly into his neck, "Ok, maybe on some subconscious level, yes – maybe even since then," he blushed.

Sebastian felt the heat on Blaine's face and pulled back to look at him with a smile, "There's my blushing schoolboy…fuck yes." He kissed into Blaine's mouth, one hand sliding all over his bare back, the other cupping his ass.

Blaine groaned as Sebastian's mouth licked and nipped down his neck again. "Ok yeah..I thought you were hot the minute I saw you…" He brought Sebastian's face up to kiss him tenderly and smile at him. "You made my life so confusing, because I couldn't do anything about it..."

"You _wouldn't_ do anything," Sebastian smirked. "I got so pissed that you wouldn't give in," he laughed, stopping to press his forehead into Blaine's cheek. "Now I know you wouldn't be you if you had given in...but god it's been torture waiting."

"I know, I know," soothed Blaine, stroking Sebastian's cheek. "Thank you for waiting."

"Totally worth it," Sebastian said with a sweet smile.

Blaine gave him an affectionate kiss and they lay in contented silence for a few minutes. Then Blaine rolled off of Sebastian and sat up slowly. "Are you as hungry as I am? We can get those party leftovers…"

"No, no, no," Sebastian said, rolling to the side to put his head in Blaine's lap. "Our first after-sex breakfast can't be leftover fingerfood. I'll call that boutique inn down the road and pay double to have them deliver something good."

"Mmm…you sure know how to treat a guy," Blaine hummed, tracing a finger up and down Sebastian's bicep. "You are so good to me."

Sebastian reached up to pull him down for a kiss. "I love spoiling you, nothing makes me happier. Well, almost nothing…" he stroked Blaine's thigh seductively.

Blaine laughed at him. "Well I'm going to at least get something to drink." He wiggled out from under Sebastian and got up to find his undershirt and put it on.

Sebastian got up and strode across the room after him. "See, that's not helping your plan to get out of bed, babe. Because you still have no pants on and so I got to enjoy the view from across the room of your incredible ass and now you've put on that wife beater that you box in and now all I can think about is my fantasy of pinning you on the floor of a boxing ring…" He put his arms around Blaine from behind and started nibbling his neck again and palming his ass.

"Oh, Seb…come on…I'm thirsty."

"But you see…" Sebastian said into his neck, "I don't care about that." He picked Blaine up and dumped him on the bed before jumping on him and wrestling him into submission. They starting kissing again and Round 6 began.

[](http://imgur.com/bZ214t5)

* * *

"Okay, before you attack me again, you have to order breakfast. If we are really going to continue a marathon sex session we need our nourishment, we have to pace ourselves," Blaine said, grinning during the afterglow of Round 6. "Or if we want to go do something else today…" he paused for Sebastian to roll his eyes, "then we need energy for that, too."

So Sebastian ordered breakfast and it arrived after Round 7. They ate it in bed, still wrapped in sheets and dropping crumbs everywhere.

"I can't believe you are such a neat freak about your car, but this doesn't bother you," laughed Blaine.

"I love the smell of food and sex together," Sebastian drawled, feeding him a strawberry.

Blaine's eyes twinkled and he reached over to pat Sebastian's ass as he swallowed the bite of strawberry. "You can be so hedonistic, I love that about you. You remind me to take pleasure in my life. And god you know how to give pleasure to me…" He leaned over for a kiss.

As their lips parted, Sebastian's eye landed on his suitcase, which he had brought over from the Andersons to pack a few things from his closet at home. Reality started setting in. He sat up.

"Hey B?"

"Yes?" Blaine smiled at him.

"We should probably talk about stuff, huh?"

Blaine sobered instantly. "Yeah, I we do…"

"Ugh…" Sebastian fell flat on his back in bed. "You do know I'm going to suck at this, right?"

Blaine laughed and leaned over to kiss him lightly on the lips. "I think you're going to be better at it than you think."

"Mmmm…you taste like strawberry. Mmmm…" Sebastian pulled Blaine on top of him.

* * *

"Okay, I think we have to get dressed before we have our talk, because naked talking is just going to end in THAT, again. "

"What's so wrong with 'THAT'? You nearly pulled my hair out because you loved THAT so much," Sebastian chuckled. "And what round are we on, anyway?"

"If we've lost count than I think we've gone too many rounds," Blaine laughed. "Normal people don't do this. I'm starting to think you are some kind of superhero who just acts like college student Sebastian Smythe by day."

Sebastian said with a wink, "You are correct. I am a superhero (my superpower is the ability to have mind-blowingly amazing sex with Blaine Anderson). And you forget that you too are not an ordinary, normal person, you are an extraordinary and flawless person."

"You old flatterer, you. Now we have to get dressed!" Blaine said, bouncing off the bed and opening the suitcase. "Do you want running clothes? I think you've gotten plenty of cardio for the day, if you asked me," he laughed. "But maybe running in the cold will cool you off so you don't attack me while we're trying to have our little chat."

"Yeah, like you haven't been doing your fair share of attacking," Sebastian rolled his eyes, "But okay, throw me some running clothes, I do want to have one more look at the lake before I leave town."

"You're so sentimental about the lake, I love that. You have the entire Pacific Ocean at your disposal in California!"

Sebastian chuckled. "It's my lake, deal with it."

Blaine pitched Sebastian's cold weather running gear at him. "Ick...I hate the feel of that nylon. That dry-touch synthetic Nike stuff is definitely enough to make sure we don't go another round," he joked.

Sebastian got up and put his hands on Blaine's shoulders, whispering in his ear, "Really? Because I could use it to tie you up again…"

Blaine batted him away as he zipped up his own pants. "You are hopeless." Then he turned to put his arms around his waist and kiss him. "Get dressed and go for your run then, and we'll see where we are on time when you get back. Maybe after our talk we can squeeze in another round." He grabbed Sebastian's ass and winked at him.

"No scheduled intercourse!" Sebastian complained, as he swaggered towards the bathroom. "Totally not sexy." After he brushed his teeth and got dressed, Sebastian emerged to find Blaine at his antique piano in the music room attached to the bedroom. He was composing a song with the piano and some blank music paper he had found on a shelf. Sebastian sat down next to him on the piano bench and gave him a leisurely, romantic kiss.

As he pressed their foreheads together, Blaine whispered, "Your kisses make me so breathless."

Sebastian's eyes were closed. "I didn't know kissing or sex could feel like this."

Blaine whispered back, "Me neither."

Eventually Sebastian turned to the piano. "So, genius burns?"

"I don't know about that, but I have the beginning of something..." I'll play it for you when it's further along. Then he played a few bars of "Not Alone," smiling shyly at Sebastian. "You know I was thinking of you when I wrote that."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and smiled softly. "B, I don't know what to say. I'm so..touched."

Blaine smiled at him. "See? You _do_ know how to talk about your feelings."

Sebastian smirked at him. "But it's so much more fun to communicate with you non-verbally." He got up and slowly coaxed Blaine to lie sideways on the piano bench before Sebastian straddled him and leaned down for passionate kiss. Round 8 was a memorable session on the piano.

* * *

"Ok, I'm _really_ going for many run now, " Sebastian grinned, kissing Blaine on the forehead, pulling out of him and standing up."

"No, don't go baby..." Blaine gave him a pleading look with liquid hazel eyes, lying sated and looking boneless on the piano bench.

Sebastian started putting on his running clothes again. "B, if you give me the puppy dog eyes we're going to end up running out of time to even get your luggage from your parents' house."

Blaine sat up, hugged his knees and pouted. "Fine, fine…go ahead and be reasonable...I hate it when you're right."

Sebastian gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I know...but it which means lots of hate sex, which neither of us would hate. Now write something brilliant while I'm gone."

And with that, he ran downstairs, got in the Mercedes and drove out to the lake. He played Blaine's CD of original songs all the way there, eventually putting this song on repeat:

youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=5PQe4V5bK8g

_...I could write you a poem Shakespeare or Cole would have called their own_

_But everything changes now that you're mine_

_And all of my words are left behind_

_Cause no matter how hard I try my tongue is still tied by you_

_I just wanna tell you I love you, but it's the hardest thing to say_

_I turn my head upside down, trying find some kinda way_

_Just to tell you I need you, in a way that will be heard,_

_I try to be a poet, but since I met you, I've never been good with words_

_Just to be specific and be explicit, never thought I'd concentrate_

_Do you have any idea what it's like to feel something you just can't articulate?_

_But baby now that I've heard, the trick to the verse, could have done for you_

_But everything changes now that you're mine_

_All of my words are left behind_

_Cause no matter how hard I try, my tongue is still tied by you_

_…There's only so many different ways_

_There's only so many only old cliches._

_That I can do, so what can I do,_

_Tell me what can I do  
_

_I just wanna tell you I love you, but it's the hardest thing to say_

_I turn my head upside down, trying find some kinda way_

_Just to tell you I need you, in a way that will be heard,_

_I try to be a poet, but since I met you_

_I just wanna tell you I love you, but it's the hardest thing to say_

 

It wasn't until he hit the 2nd mile of his run that reality really set in. Blaine was leaving in a few hours and they were going to have to have "The Talk." _Ugh._

 

* * *

 

_Well, there you have it, you met Seb's dad.  Okay at this point you guys are probably like, "Seb's Who?"_

_You guys kept asking for smut in reviews and PM etc. etc. so I caved.  I've never written it before, I was panicked about it, but I gave it my best shot and my darling reviewers Dori and Thomas and Rose approved it, so I went for it and posted it (earlier than I thought I would, but I wanted to do it ASAP for reviewer Faye!)_

_With all the cockblocks we wrote over the last several chapters, it seemed merited.  Hope it was worth the wait!  Let me know if it was.  Let me know what you think of Seb's characterization - too soft?  Believable up against dad?  Let me know what you think of Blaine, did I completely disrespect Klaine?  I hope not, I root for Klaine in canon if they must disrespect Seblaine :(.  Did you enjoy the fluff in the afterglow I included?  I thought about having it be awkward afterwards, because given some of Sebastian's fears about relationships talks, it could have gone that way.  But I decided we also deserved some sexy fluff, too.  The boys deserved it too, after 4-5 months of pining and stressing out at school, etc.  I figured the afterglow can effectively block out the scariness of relationship talks for Sebastian, though ultimately I thought it would be interesting for him to be the one to bring it up again.  Personally, I think Blaine is not so great at the relationship stuff as he likes to think he is._

_Any guesses as to where things go from here?  We have our plans, but let us know if you have ideas you want to pitch us!_

 

 


	14. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seb runs and tries to sort out what the heck happened over the last two weeks and how to approach the unknown, aka relationship stuff. Seb and Blaine have 'the talk' to figure out what's next.

_Author's note:_

_Thanks for all the great reviews and kudos after the last chapter. So happy to make you guys happy with the long-awaited physical union of these two beautiful boys. Shout-out to Kelly thanks for your always insightful and detailed reviews, and I love that you contrasted Seb's bedroom in his opulent house to Mike's parents' bedroom as the setting for their first time. I didn't really even think about what could have been since I never planned for anything to happen at Mike's :). But yes, Seb's room was definitely more intimate and appropriate._

_As for this chapter: I'm sorry. I say that and yet I love this chapter. That is to say, I think Seblaine is actually really sweet in this chapter, but I'm also sorry. You'll understand once you start reading._

_Finally, a reminder that sentences in italics are their verbatim thoughts (I also still use italics for emphasis as usual). I don't usually like to write a lot of characters' thoughts verbatim, but in this situation it seemed merited._

* * *

The small, snow-covered pebbles and rocks crunched on the dirt path around the lake under Sebastian's feet. He ran at a steady, fast pace that his triathlon teammates would have appreciated, yet he was barely aware of his pace or his surroundings because he was so engrossed in reflection on the past two weeks.

He had not planned to walk away from Christmas vacation in this situation. He hadn't really planned anything in this regard – he just knew that he couldn't wait to see Blaine again. If anything, Blaine's despondence around the news of his vocal chord defect led Sebastian to believe that nothing romantic would be in the cards for them over vacation. Blaine would need a friend more than anything else. But almost as soon as they returned home, Blaine's mood had soared. Between Christmas and being surrounded by his beloved family and friends again, Blaine had been buoyed to an infectious level of happiness. And when Blaine was happy, it usually wasn't long before Sebastian was happy, too.

Their happiness, Sebastian deduced, along with a baffling confluence of events, had led to the sex. The off-charts, amazing sex. But he hadn't planned it. If he had, it would have been in a setting Blaine would have wanted and would have deserved - in a suite in Paris on a bed with silk sheets and flower petals. But he knew sex meant a lot more feelings for Blaine than he had ever associated with it, so Sebastian had never been sure about the timing. But probably due to the emotionally charged week and events of the evening, Sebastian had been overwhelmed by his desire to be _that_ close to Blaine. So he had practically attacked him under that tree near the house. And thankfully, Blaine had attacked right back. And then after they had done it once, they ended up doing it again. And again, and again. And again.

He shook himself, wiping sweat from his brow. _FOCUS._ So where did all that great sex leave things? As it turns out, jumping into bed with Blaine had finally illustrated to Sebastian how emotional sex could be. And that is what made things really complicated…this meant they were going to be boyfriends, presumably. What would that look like?

Sebastian slowed his pace temporarily as he zipped his jacket more snugly against the cold.

 _You can do this._ He had taken on countless challenging new endeavors in his life and had successfully mastered them. At age six when he decided he wanted to become the next Gene Kelly, he had learned how to sing despite having no significant natural talent for it. Private lessons and daily practice resulted in being offered solos in the boys choir within a year. Other choirs, the Warblers and Mixed Company followed. When he moved to Paris after the divorce, he had learned how to play lacrosse at age 9. By month three he was outscoring all of his teammates even though they had all been playing since they were 4 or 5. Now he was at Stanford playing first string as a freshman. Just last quarter, even though science had always been a bit tougher for him than other subjects, he had successfully learned more goddamned electrical engineering theories than any college freshman should know.

 _You can do this._ L earning to be successful in his relationship with Blaine shouldn't be that different than learning how to be successful in other arenas. Sure, getting as close as he was to Blaine at this point had required a great deal of flying by the seat of his pants. But by this time he surely should be able to identify a concrete goal; determine the nature of any obstacles; gather data and resources necessary; formulate a strategy and a game plan; and execute, checking in at critical milestones to adjust the plan as needed. He would learn what it takes to have a successful relationship, build and hone his skills in those areas, and be the boyfriend Blaine deserved. And it should be so much easier than engineering theories because he loved Blaine and Blaine made everything easier just by existing and, inexplicably, loving him back.

Sebastian enjoyed the familiar stretch of his leg muscles as he accelerated around a bend. He loved running first thing in the morning when his energy was at a peak, even after having all of that epic sex with Blaine all night. Usually a night without sleep left Sebastian haggard, but the adrenaline or whatever natural high he was riding on made him feel as strong and swift as a racehorse. Sebastian's lips curved into smile.

First, what was the goal? What did he want? _More sex with Blaine,_ was his brain's immediate response. Sebastian shook himself again. _FOCUS_. What _else_ did he want? _To marry Blaine_. Yeah, _that_ would go over well - totally stupid idea. That was just a fantasy, not based in anything practical or wise. _Runaway with Me…_

Again, what _else_ did he want? To be the extraordinary boyfriend Blaine deserved. Was that a big enough goal? Maybe ultimately Blaine's happiness was the goal. Yes, that was more important in the big picture. But perhaps that was too broad of a goal? Well that didn't matter, because to Blaine right now, happiness was presumably tied up in having a kick-ass boyfriend.

Or was it? Sebastian thought back to (usually whiskey-induced) discussions he had had with Rob, Santana and Nick this past fall quarter about Blaine. As much as he hated to admit it right now, the consensus had been, at least early on in the fall, that Blaine needed to take a good chunk of time to be by himself. He needed time to find himself as a person without a relationship or the goal of a relationship with Kurt.

By the end of the quarter, Rob had continued to support the idea in his low key way. Rob never expressed his viewpoint in an obnoxious way, but when pressed for an opinion over beers and whiskey shots at a local student bar, he gave it freely – though still in a matter-of-fact, calm manner.

Based on their Yenta-like behavior on during vacation, Nick and Santana clearly no longer agreed that Blaine would be best left boyfriendless. It appeared that Sam felt the same way. But quite frankly, Sebastian thought ruefully, Rob's opinion was more valuable than the others. Rob had actually been in a successful relationship in high school for 2 years before they broke it off amicably just prior to his start at Stanford. Rob was not so excitable and overly romantic. Rob had a lot of sense.

Sebastian mopped sweat off his forehead into his already sweaty hair.

As he reflected on his roommate's opinions, Sebastian found himself fixating on one memory from fall quarter that he could not shake: Rob's questioning eyes. The memory of Rob's eyes when he would (1) see Sebastian pounding out his daily e-mail letter to Blaine or (2) find him dialing in once again for a Skype video call. Rob would periodically ask mildly, without a trace of judgment in his voice: "Man, that's quite a long email there – is that for Blaine again?" or "Video call with Blaine again?" Rob was never one to judge outright or scold the way Nick or Santana would, but Sebastian could surmise that Rob wondered if he was communicating too much with Blaine for their own good.

But what was wrong with communicating often with your best friend? Rob's eyes seemed to ask if it was too much, too soon, when your best friend was recovering from a traumatic break-up. Rob's eyes seemed to ask if it was too much, too soon, when said best friend had just gone off the rails for a school year chasing a Klaine fantasy and the delusion that a perfect marriage would fix everything. Rob's eyes seemed to ask if it was too much, too soon, when you were in love with said best friend, and that there was a decent chance that said best friend was attracted to you.

Sebastian stumbled on a rock he hadn't seen in his path.

Too much, too soon…what was too soon? It had been four and a half months since the almost-wedding. Sebastian had always assumed it would be a full year before Blaine would be ready to date seriously again.

" _I don't think anyone designated a timeline,"_ Santana had said. _"Maybe you did in your head."_

Where did he get that timeframe from?

Then it came rushing back to him. _"Sebastian, this year isn't just about my education and career… what's wrong with taking a year to just find myself a little?"_ Blaine had said it himself on their last night in San Francisco. Blaine had said it himself.

And then Sebastian couldn't keep it in his pants and they had had sex and now Blaine was giving him the gooey eyes and the loverly face.

Sebastian pulled his cap down more firmly. Had the temperature dropped suddenly?

Then it suddenly dawned on him…all this "too much, too soon" business implied that Sebastian might, at least emotionally, be "the rebound guy" - a title he had been trying so damn hard to avoid. He also had to reluctantly admit that sleeping with Blaine last night only would complete his list of duties as "the rebound guy."

But Santana had said he could never be the rebound guy, he reassured himself. He and Blaine had been close before the break-up. They had been too close for him to hold the title of rebound guy. So no, Sebastian repeated to himself, he was not "the rebound guy." If he and Blaine embarked on a romantic relationship at this point, he would not be the rebound guy. He would be the boyfriend.

The long distance boyfriend.

Sebastian felt some queasiness in this stomach. Perhaps he had had too much grease for breakfast.

Ugh. He knew all the clichés – that long distance relationships almost never work; that distance tended to instantly accelerate the demise of any relationship with any holes in it. And if all of this was not depressing enough, the Klaine debacle was a highly relevant example of how long distance relationships can fail hard. It probably wouldn't help matters that one Mr. Sebastian Smythe had exactly zero experience with any kind of romantic relationship.

Could embarking on a long distance relationship right away provide an opportunity for him to screw things up before they really got started? And even worse, could they lead to him losing his best friend entirely? Blaine had said that after three months apart, he felt distant from Kurt. Less engaged with the details of his life. And Blaine had seemed surprisingly relieved about it. He thought it felt peaceful. Would Sebastian end up sharing the same fate as Hummel? That Sebastian concluded, would be the worst outcome of all.

Nina had said love was not complicated. If this wasn't complicated, what the hell was?

He slowed to a stop near a tree, bending over and putting his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

But he wasn't Hummel, of course. He and Blaine weren't the same. They weren't the same. They definitely weren't the same. They absolutely were not at all the same.

He looked up suddenly when he heard footsteps on the path.

"Hey you," A smiling Blaine appeared a few feet away with a large picnic basket in hand.

Sebastian stood up straight and smiled. Blaine's mere presence and energy already made him feel better about everything. "Hey, you."

Blaine held up the basket. "It's getting late, so I thought I'd bring a picnic out to you. Plus, I know how much you love the lake, so it seems like the best place for our talk. Are you done with your run yet?"

"Yeah," Sebastian said, coming over. He hesitated for a split second and then leaned down to give Blaine a quick kiss , which felt bittersweet "I'm all sweaty," he apologized. Blaine smiled up at him with the adoring look went straight to Sebastian's heart. He wanted to believe that face so much. He took the heavy basket from him and wrapped an arm around Blaine's waist. It felt painfully sweet, knowing they only had so many hours left together. He took a deep breath and led them to a nearby lakeside picnic table. After they swept the snow off the table and Blaine put down cushions for them to sit on, they settled down and unpacked the basket.

The sun shined brightly on them as they laid out the red and white checkered tablecloth; an enormous quanity of fruit, gourmet sandwiches and salads; a bottle of wine and two wine glasses; a thermos of hot chocolate plus another one of hot cider; some of the Smythe family's second best china, and a red rose in a bud vase. "You think of everything, Killer." Sebastian remarked with a fond smile.

"All supplies I found lying around your well stocked kitchen." Blaine smiled, filling the vase with bottled water from the basket.

They started in on the sumptuous picnic in comfortable silence. They looked out over the lake and Sebastian took a deep breath as he drank in the serenity and beauty of the winter sun reflecting across the icy water. Then he glanced over to Blaine and found the visual to be even more lovely. But he was again haunted with the reality that Blaine would be getting on a plane in mere hours. Sebastian took all of his handsome profile in: the angles of his bone structure, the redness of his lips, the texture of his skin, the rosiness of his cheeks, the softness of his eyes. He really wanted to kiss him, but he took a deep breath and kept himself together.

Blaine finally turned to him and spoke up. "So I guess we should have our talk. I feel like we've referred to it so much that we've kind of built it up unnecessarily." He laughed nervously.

"True," Sebastian agreed quietly. He twirled the fork he had poised over a container of pasta salad. "We've been building it up in our heads, but it doesn't have to be a big deal, right?" He rushed to add, "And by that I don't mean that having sex with you…I mean, making love to you…isn't a big deal. I just mean that the talk…"

Blaine reached out and put his hand over Sebastian's. "It's okay…just call it sex. And I'm sorry I jumped down your throat about all of that yesterday."

Sebastian rubbed his forehead, looking down at the table. "That was still a stupid thing to say. I still suck at this."

"You're fine." Blaine reassured him, reaching further to squeeze his arm.

"You are such a liar, or you're being way too easy on me." Sebastian said, smiling in spite of himself. "Still, I was thinking on my run that this can't be _that_ hard. Even if I suck at it now, I can _learn_ how to be better at…" He raised his hands in the air in an incoherent gesture, "… _this."_

"Of course you can, baby." Blaine laughed and came around to the other side of the picnic table to sit beside Sebastian and squeeze his arm.

Sebastian looked at him with love. Blaine always made everything easier and better. He turned to look in his face and leaned on his hand as he smiled at him. "So where do we start with this 'talk' business? I have my own thoughts on the matter, but I think you are better equipped to take the lead on all this. Where do we start?"

Blaine smiled back and looked in his eyes. "Where do we start? Well, the first thing I would imagine we would discuss is something we already covered this morning – that neither of us think that sleeping together was a mistake."

"Definitely not," Sebastian said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Behave," Blaine said, chuckling and smacking his shoulder. "I meant emotionally speaking."

Sebastian was not 100% sure he understood what Blaine meant, but he nodded anyway. "No, there is no aspect of sex with you that I regret. So we can check that off whatever list you might be working off of ."

"There's no 'Relationships for Dummies' checklist we are using here, you nerd." Blaine said with a laugh.

"If there is, I should get one," laughed Sebastian.

Blaine smiled at him again and rolled his eyes. "Okay, so yes, it's good we covered that. No regrets. So I guess we should also talk about what being together like that meant to us, where we want to go from here, what we want to do, how we want things to look in our relationship going forward."

"Ok, you just rattled off your own checklist." Sebastian said, raising his eyebrows. "If it's not from a book, I'm actually kind of impressed."

"Okay, I'll admit that I thought about this a bit while I was showering and cleaning up back at your house." Blaine said sheepishly. He added, "Oh just so you know, Teresa and the crew were there when I went downstairs. She is so nice, she didn't make me feel awkward at all."

"Teresa is the shit."

Blaine smiled, then after a beat he raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Wait a minute, is Teresa just used to greeting random men coming out of your bedroom in the morning after you've sneaked out to go running?"

Sebastian smirked. "No comment. And I didn't sneak out…you shoved me out the door."

"I beg to differ. You left me naked on a piano bench." Blaine laughed.

Sebastian furrowed his brow. "Oh, that's right. But the first time I got into my running clothes it was only because you made me and then you practically kicked me out."

"Yeah, but the emphasis is on the word ' _practically_.' Because before I could get you to leave, you ended up fucking me on your antique piano keys and _then_ left me high and dry," Blaine teased.

"Hey, I thought it would just be a make-out session… you were the one who kicked it up a notch."

Blaine laughed. "We are getting SO off track!"

"Right, right…" Sebastian said, putting on his snobby, prep school airs. "What was next on the checklist, Mr. Anderson?"

Blaine looked thoughtful again. "Umm…What it meant to us, where we want to go from here, what we want to do, how we want things to look in our relationship going forward," he replied. "But not necessarily in that order."

Sebastian pondered the list. "Well, I want to make sure you understand this much, B. I know you think I was some kind of man-whore before we started spending a lot of time together…and I guess I don't blame you. But… I don't want you to think that sex with _you_ didn't mean anything to me. It meant something to me. It meant something to me because…" Sebastian fumbled for what to say, looking out over the lake. "Because I care about you. A lot." He looked down for a few moments before looking up tentatively.

"I care a lot about you, too," Blaine answered earnestly, his eyes looking golden in the winter sunshine. _I love you_ , he wanted to say. "And being with you like that meant something to me, too. It meant a lot to me. It was a beautiful way to feel even closer to you than I already felt."

"Exactly," Sebastian said. God you really are a lot better at this than me." He widened his green eyes with mock sincerity. " Can you just…finish this for us? "

Blaine rolled his eyes. "We need two people for this to be a talk. Otherwise it's just a monologue."

"I could just nod whenever I agreed with something you'd said, would that count?" Sebastian grinned at him cheekily.

Blaine hit him with a cloth napkin. "Stop it. Be serious…"

Sebastian smiled at him. He really was going to miss being with him like this. "Okay, so we've established that neither of us regret having sex with each other, and we both feel like the sex made us feel closer to each other." He couldn't resist adding, "Plus I think earlier this morning I think we confirmed that we both thought that the sex was very, very hot."

Blaine giggled, and then tried to look stern. "Stop, this is not a talk about sex - this is a talk about our relationship!" He batted at him again with the napkin.

"Sorry, I just thought it might be worth mentioning that!" Sebastian shielded himself with his hands in defense. "I mean seriously, if in this scenario sex is an expression of something in our relationship, than how good it was probably has _some_ relevance, right? Like if we weren't very connected emotionally, the sex wouldn't have been as good, right? Because I'll tell you I've never had sex that emotionally intense before - ever. I think it's a good sign for us, right?"

Blaine looked at him in shock. " Wow Seb…you actually said something…insightful about relationships. " He narrowed his eyes and smirked at him. "Who are you, Sebastian's evil twin?"

Sebastian cocked his head and smirked back. "Of course not. I'm just a quick study."

Blaine smiled. "This bodes well for us. Ok, where we we?"

Sebastian swung his long legs out from under the picnic table and got up to pace the area around the table. "I think we should talk about where we want to go from here." As he considered this he sobered, swallowing and looking out at the lake. "I'll let you start with that one," he said, trying to keep the worry out of his voice.

Blaine shifted a little uncomfortably. He got up and sat on the picnic table, his feet on the bench. "Well…" He swallowed and dove in. "I will start with where I don't want us to go. I don't want us to become 'friends with benefits.'"

Sebastian turned to face him, nodding in agreement. "I'm with you on that. We can't become 'friends with benefits,' 'fuck buddies,' or whatever. I've done that and it does not end well. All the feelings crap always gets in the way."

"'Feelings crap,' really?" Blaine meant for his statement to come out jokingly, but his tone was instead laced with real exasperation. Then to make things worse, he burst out, "And you said 'always'? How many times have you done the 'friends with benefits' thing?" He looked annoyed and felt embarrassed for not keeping his cool.

Sebastian came over immediately and took Blaine's hands. "No, sorry…I didn't mean that all feelings are crap. I like the feelings I have for you, really. It's just at the time, I wanted the actual definition of friends with benefits, I really just wanted to keep things light, but the other guy…ended up not wanting that. So the feelings kind of felt like crap, because they were like a betrayal of an agreement we had. Now I look back on it I can see that he didn't see it coming, and that most normal people really can't have sex without some emotional component. But at the time I didn't know…" He floundered as he saw that Blaine was avoiding his eyes. "Shit, I know you think I'm a total asshole now. It was when I was 16, Blaine – right before I moved back to Ohio. I was so stupid then… please believe that I love how I feel about you." _Please know somehow that I love you,_ he thought _._ "I've really learned from my idiotic past, you have to believe me."

Blaine took a deep breath. "It's okay, but Seb can you just think a little before you talk about some of this stuff? 'Cause if it comes out wrong it can really…"

"It can really hurt you." Sebastian finished for him. He felt wretched. "Yes, I will be more careful. I'm really, really sorry."

Blaine sighed and tried to move them forward. "Okay, so we've established that we're not going to be friends with benefits. Which means we can (1) just stay friends who had great sex, but don't want to be in a romantic relationship right now; (2) start a relationship but not be exclusive, meaning we are allowed to date other people…"

"I know how an exclusive or not-exclusive relationship is defined, Blaine." Sebastian said quietly, pulling off his skull cap and pacing again.

Blaine heard his resigned tone and got up to grab his hand. "I know you do. I'm sorry, that came out wrong." He felt terrible. "I didn't mean to sound like I was patronizing you, I was just thinking out loud."

[](http://imgur.com/GT3Q2l2)

"It's okay," Sebastian said quietly.

Blaine pulled Sebastian into his arms and pulled him close. "Hey, look at me."

Sebastian looked at Blaine's sincere, caring expression. It was comforting.

"You're wonderful. I don't care if you've never had this conversation before. I don't care if you screw up sometimes while we do it. I don't care if you've had a fuck buddy and I don't care how many guys you've slept with before me. We can do this. We have to do this so we are clear about us before I get on that plane, because talking is going to be harder when we're in two different countries. I'm not going to be able to put my arms around you like this, which helps me hammer home the point right now that no matter what, I know we're going to okay. 'Cause we're us. Seb and Blaine."

Sebastian really wanted to kiss him but held himself back. But then Blaine leaned over and pressed his lips against his and they were soon in a very emotional embrace anyway.

They tore themselves apart after a very long minute, both of their eyes wet. Sebastian pulled away and started pacing again, his voice slightly choked and also frustrated - almost angry. "Let's not do that, B. Please. When you kiss me like that I get… I can't think straight. And this conversation is hard enough as it is."

"Sorry," Blaine said, looked abashed. "It was just the easiest way to show you how I feel – that it's going to be okay and…" _that I love you_ , Blaine thought. "That it's going to be fine. But okay, I promise no more kissing."

Sebastian shook himself. He had to get through this. He clapped his hands as he started pacing again. "Okay, we can do this. Where were we before I shot off my trap like an idiot? Right, we were deciding where we want to go from here. You were going to tell me what you want. We can: (1) just stay friends, (2) date and not be exclusive, or (3) date exclusively. Did I miss any options?"

Blaine took a deep breath. "No."

"So which of these options do you want?" Sebastian tried to keep his tone light, but he waited tensely for the response.

[](http://imgur.com/CH7LMFn)

Blaine hedged. "Well, I'll tell you that I don't think I would know how to date and not be exclusive – at least not with you. I don't think I could date you and know that you might be kissing or sleeping with other people. I just couldn't – I know myself that well. So I guess…" he swallowed thickly, then continued bravely. "I think we should date exclusively."

Sebastian's back was turned while he was pacing so Blaine couldn't see his face. Blaine waited through an interminable pause.

"Seb?"

Sebastian turned and looked at him with a calm smile. "Okay, that sounds great. We should date exclusively. So I guess that makes you my boyfriend - that's a first." He gave Blaine another sweet smile.

Blaine's eyes narrowed. "Seb, why are you looking at me like I'm crazy?"

"I am not looking at you like you're crazy," Sebastian denied.

"Oh yes you are…" Blaine nodded his head. "In fact I know that for sure because the last time I saw that look on your face was when I told you I wanted to spend this year in San Francisco - the Third Eye Blind concert. You looked like you were humoring me while you listened to my insane idea and then you went on to gently and kindly tell me all the reasons why I was crazy to want to do that."

Sebastian furrowed his brow at him. "No. Blaine, weren't you listening? I care about you. I agree with you. I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend. Dating exclusively would be…" he paused to search for a word.

"It would be what? Fine? Okay? Nice? Not so bad? God, you don't even know how to finish that sentence." Blaine's voice broke. " Don't do this out of pity, Seb. Don't do this because you think I need you and you don't want to break my heart." Blaine began to violently pack things into the picnic basket.

"No no no," Sebastian came over quickly and took him in his arms. His voice choked up and he had tears in his eyes. "You're taking this all wrong." He would have smacked his own forehead if he wasn't hugging Blaine so tight and holding his curly head on his chest. "I want to be with you. I have never cared about anyone as much as I care about you. This is not out of pity - I think you're sexy and incredible in every other way - I would be proud to be your boyfriend. You're my best friend, so of course I want to do whatever you want to do. I'm more than happy to give dating a try right now. I'm all in, really - this isn't a pity thing I promise."

"You want us to ' _give it a try_?' So you think it might not work out?"

Seb pulled back and lifted Blaine's chin to look at him. "Well come on, B. We can't be so idealistic to think that we can tell the future. There's always at least some slim chance that things might not work out, there might be unforeseen challenges or circumstances…That's true even for married couples."

"I hate it when you get too logical about things," Blaine pulled himself out of Sebastian's arms and stepped away. "We're talking about a relationship. A relationship is by nature, emotional. We have to believe, not measure the statistical probabilities. I don't want to just 'try this,' if you don't really believe in us."

Sebastian was really worried, but didn't want to get in Blaine's space if he needed it. He restrained the urge to pull him back and kiss him until he could understand. "I do believe. But I can believe in us, I can believe in you, and still recognize that we can't know everything that lies ahead of us. We can have faith that no matter what happens, whether we stay together forever or not, that we'll be okay. 'Cause we're Seb and Blaine."

Blaine's eyes welled up. Once again, he found that he had to trust in God and Burt Hummel. "You sound like Burt. And Finn."

"What? Who? Wait, Finn Hudson?"

"Yes. Finn and Burt Hummel."

Sebastian sighed. Kurt's dad. Why did a Hummel always have to come back into his life?

"He said that if two people care about each other, everything works out."

Sebastian looked irritated. "Why are you bringing in the Hummel family theories about why you and Kurt are going to end up together?"

"That's not what I'm saying. And that's not what he was saying. Just like you, he said he couldn't tell the the future and know if Kurt and I would end up together, but that I needed to let go and have faith that everything works out. He was saying everything will work out fine in the end, whether you end up together or not."

Sebastian nodded slowly. "Well, he's right. In fact, Nina said kind of the same thing." Then he said grimly, "But can you not bring up examples involving you and Kurt going forward?"

Blaine flinched. Then he came over and put his arms around him. "I'm sorry...of course. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

There was an awkward pause. Blaine finally thought of something good to say. "So you talked to Nina about me?" He gave a tentative smile to Sebastian and lifted his eyebrows in question.

Sebastian put his hands on Blaine's shoulders and gave him a half smile. "Of course I did. Duh." He exhaled, then continued quietly, looking at the lake over Blaine's shoulder. "What did Finn say that you thought was relevant?"

Blaine replied in a choked voice, "Finn told Rachel, when they broke up right before she left for New York, 'we're going to sit here and let go and let the universe do its thing and if we're meant to be together, then we'll end up together."

"Yes, exactly." Sebastian remarked.. More rock-solid proof that Finn Hudson really wasn't as dumb as he had seemed. His eyes were wet again. He put his hand to Blaine's cheek and used his thumb to brush away a tear. "Again, I was serious when I said I was willing to give dating a try if that's what you want. But… it's just…you matter to me. _'We'_ matter to me – more than anything, really. And because it's so important, because _we're_ so important…do you think maybe we should also consider waiting until the circumstances are better? I just wouldn't want us to jump into things and screw things up before we give ourselves a fair chance. I don't want us to mess things up just because …"

"Because it might be too soon." Blaine finished his sentence for him as he put his arms around Sebastian's waist and looked up sadly at him.

"I was going to say because long distance relationships are so hard." Sebastian raised an eyebrow and look at Blaine with searching green eyes. "But the timing issue is a potentially important one, too. What do you mean by too soon?"

Blaine looked guilty and pulled away slightly. "Nothing…"

"You're still at terrible liar." The words were harsh but Sebastian's eyes looked kind.

"I'm not lying…" Blaine said desperately and paused to search for words. "But I guess I'm not telling the whole truth, either. I suppose what it is…" he exhaled, "is I'm not sure if it's too soon for us to date. I mean it's only been four months since..."

 _Since you were in love with someone else. Since you were about to marry Hummel._ Sebastian let out a deep breath. "Right. And you said you wanted to take the year to find yourself. And how can you do that with a six foot two, Stanford educated albatross around your neck?"

Blaine chuckled at the image, but then looked at Sebastian seriously. "This has _nothing_ to do with you. It's just I'm learning to trust myself again. Kurt was my first love, we were wonderful at the beginning and a disaster as we got more serious. So I am learning to own that part of my past and really learn from it and work through how I can change myself to be better in a relationship and trust my own decisions again. I think I've started down that road by feeling comfortable and so happy about getting intimate with you, by having no regrets about my decisions about you. But last quarter in Scotland definitely wasn't one where I felt particularly solid on my own two feet. You know that, you did so much to help me just survive it. But maybe I should be doing more than just surviving on my own?"

He looked with intensity into Sebastian's eyes. "Someone once said that I love too much. That I lost myself in my relationship with Kurt. That I love others too much, that learning how to take care of myself is part of growing up. I'm not a hundred percent sure I've learned to take care of myself really well." Blaine's eyes were searching.

Sebastian's brow was furrowed, trying to remember why Blaine's words sounded so familiar. "Well, you definitely spent a fair amount of time taking care of me last quarter, writing me all those emails and addressing every little insecurity or gripe I would moan to you about."

Blaine pulled him closer. "None of that was your fault. If I spent too much time doing it, that was my choice. So you can you understand why I'm worried about it being too soon?"

Sebastian's green eyes still looked troubled. "Yes, but then why did you say you wanted to start dating exclusively?"

Blaine sighed, "I don't know. Like I said, I really didn't know if we would be jumping into things too soon, or if I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. And when pressed to choose between our two final choices – to just be friends or to date exclusively, I panicked and chose the one where I get to have you as my boyfriend." He looked at Sebastian with a shy smile. "It had such a nice ring to it." He looked down. "Plus, it's hard to imagine how I can go back to just being friends with you."

"I see your point," Sebastian nodded, a pained expression on his face. He went on with courage. "But it's probably for the best if we wait. It's better to be conservative here, right? Better to wait too long and make sure you're ready, than to jump into it too soon and screw things up? And I mean…we were pretty happy with our friendship before, right?"

"Right," Blaine said without conviction.

Sebastian took a deep breath and mustered his resolve once again. It was exhausting to keep doing this, but he knew he could do it. It was for the best. He could pretend that he was okay with just being Blaine's friend. Because Blaine's happiness was the ultimate goal. He took Blaine's hand and led him back to the picnic table. They sat down side by side. "Okay, we have to finish this checklist of yours. The last questions were, "What do we want to do and how do we want things to look in our relationship. I think they are pretty related, if not duplicative."

Blaine had to chuckle. "Duplicative? You've been hanging out with Stanford nerds too long."

"Shut up." Sebastian smiled at him. "Ok, what we have to do is go back to being just friends again, right? But I really don't think we've gotten so far where we have to not talk…like you and Hummel…right?" He looked at Blaine anxiously.

Blaine replied immediately. "Of course we can keep talking. I'd miss you too much if we stopped. I mean not so much that I think I'm co-dependent with you…"

"Co-dependent? Is that shrink –speak? Now who's a nerd?"

"Shut up, it's a very helpful definition to know, you should look it up sometime. I just mean that I don't think I'd miss you an unhealthy amount. But I would miss you, and it would be unnecessary, because I think we can still support each other and have fun like all best friends do, while I take some time to get stronger on my own, without a boyfriend."

Sebastian looked down on the partially snow covered ground. "Okay. So we can keep talking. But now that we're on the subject…and this is related to what you said earlier about your emails to me…and PLEASE don't take this the wrong way…"

Blaine chuckled at him, "Seb, just spit it out, it's okay."

Seb muttered, "Yeah, STILL suck at this." He ran his fingers through his hair. Do you think we communicate too much? I only ask that because Rob keeps giving me the feeling that he thinks we do. He never says as much, but I feel like he's practically raising his eyebrows at me every time I write you an email or start to dial you on Skype."

Blaine let out a huff of laughter. "Jeez, that roommate of yours. I really have to meet him. He doesn't miss a thing, does he? At least he's subtle. Sam is as subtle as an anvil - he flat out told me thought I was talking to you too much. So maybe they have a point. But I don't think we Skype too much – once a week, in my opinion, is not enough. I mean, you're my best friend. I like seeing your goofy face at least once a week."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I know you think I'm gorgeous. You told me so during sex. That's like the truth zone."

Blaine laughed. "Conceited!"

"Honest!" Sebastian volleyed back.

Blaine smiled. "Alright, so let's try dialing back the emails, just to force us – especially me – to reach out to other people more? Maybe I take some of my time and energy to put my whole self out there, like you said?"

Sebastian smiled at him fondly. "That sounds good, Killer. But what do you mean by 'dialing back the emails?' This could be my engineering professor getting to me, but what are we talking about numbers-wise, are we talking two or three times a week? Once a week?"

Blaine chuckled. "God, you really are turning into a nerd. Well, I don't think we should limit ourselves artificially. If I'm having a terrible week, I might want to talk to you more and I don't want to feel guilty about that."

"Okay, you have a point. And on the flip side, I don't want you to feel guilty about not emailing all week if it's because you're out having non-boyfriend fun and connecting to people and shit."

"Yes, I am looking forward to 'connecting to people and shit,'" Blaine laughed.

Sebastian ignored the snark. "Ok, so let's say that we'll assume no more than 2-3 times a week but that it should be treated as a very loose guideline – no guilt if we want to write more, no guilt if we end up writing less. It will take some getting used to, but I'm game. I want to give you your breathing room."

"Okay," Blaine said. "And I guess the last thing we need to remember in terms of 'what we are doing' going forward is…"

"What?" Sebastian furrowed his brow at him. "What's with the weird look on your face?"

"I just want to remind us that we can't have sex. Not even phone sex. Remember, we are not going to become 'friends with benefits.'"

Sebastian closed his eyes. "Right."

"I know, that might be the worst part," Blaine said, putting his head on Sebastian's shoulder and closing his eyes, too. "The sex was so fucking great."

"Stop it," Sebastian said, eyes still closed. "I love it when you curse, it's so sexy from my blushing school boy."

Blaine giggled, but then put his hand on Sebastian's cheek and waited until the beautiful eyes opened and looked at him tenderly. _I love you,_ he wanted to say. But that certainly wouldn't help matters any.

Sebastian took a deep breath and looked at his watch. "I think we have time."

"For what?" Blaine asked.

"For us to get home, get me showered, dash over to your house, get your luggage, say goodbye to Cooper, and have sex in your room before we leave. Or in the media room. Yeah - definitely there. I definitely daydreamed about that some afternoons when you thought I was asleep on your lap."

Blaine gave a little gasp of delighted surprise.

Sebastian grinned at him. "Well all these new rules don't start until you get back to Scotland, right? I can be a friend with benefits for a couple more hours? You won't fall at my feet and propose marriage that fast, will you?"

Blaine was already packing up the last of their picnic in the basket. He grabbed it and started running. "Race you back!" 

 

* * *

 

_Author's note: Okay, don't hate me for this chapter. I really think it was in keeping with these boys - Sebastian, too rational and gunshy and secretly petrified they are going to screw up the boyfriend thing; Blaine still easily swayed by Tina and logic and any trace of hesitation from Sebastian. The good thing is that they are very sensitive to each other - something that has always and will always make them a very strong pairing. Hopefully you could see all that this chapter._

_Just hang in there and remember I promised you that the story will end about half way through Seb's junior year so we've still got some fun and fluffy and lovely stories to tell (and yes there will probably be some angst thrown in there somewhere)._

_Plus I'm pretty sure I will do a story after this one to make it a trilogy! But I promise to try to keep this journey fun and interesting and sweet...and yes, hot from time to time!_

_Please check in with a review or note and let us know what you think or just to say 'hi, I'm still reading!' Many thanks as always to fantastic beta readers Thomas, Dori and Rose._

_P.S. Bonus points for anyone recognized the section that Blaine quoted from Seb's 'Runaway with Me' rant from Stop the Wedding, the prequel just before this story.  
_


	15. Post-mortems, Shower, Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bittersweet Seblaine feels, definitely bordering on angsty, some bossy amusement (Tina and Coop) and some sweet and salty Sebtana to keep everything in balance.

_Hello folks:_

_Glad to hear from reviews (Thanks Misgranted, Kelly, SincerelyYourSecret and dizzyapple95) that you guys don't all hate us for not letting these guys dive into a long distance relationship including as many weekend trysts that Seb's creditcard and lacrosse practices could allow. We all know it would have been wildly risky, right? And Seb's a guy about more calculated risk, and Blaine wants to feel like his own man before being someone else's man._

_But it's hard...so here's the slightly angsty chapter that sends them off on the journey. Sorry it's been a few days for it to be posted, it was a beast to write! Hope it suits, there's some bittersweet Seblaine feels definitely bordering on angsty, some bossy amusement (Tina and Coop) and some sweet and salty Sebtana to keep everything in balance. We promise the next couple of chapters after this one will be sunnier._

XOXO

_The German (Thomas), DC (Dori) ,California (moi), Portuguese (Rose) and Czech (Tereza) Seblaine Team_

_P.S. Reminder that words in italics indicate extra emphasis or a character's verbatim thoughts._

* * *

They reached their cars smiling and breathless. After a sweet kiss goodbye, Blaine got into the Anderson station wagon and Sebastian jumped into the Mercedes with a smile on his face. He was, after all, on his way back to jump into bed with Blaine again. Plus, "The Talk" hadn't gone nearly as badly as it could have. Things at least seemed clearer now and Blaine seemed genuinely okay with what they had decided. They were not going to stupidly attempt the notoriously trying phenomena known as the long distance relationship. They were going to be smart and wait, to make sure Blaine was ready. But they would still talk and be everything they had been to each other and they would make it work from there.

Not being able to have sex with Blaine until he was ready again would probably be the hardest part, of course. It almost made him wish they hadn't done the deed – then he wouldn't know what he was missing. "Almost," however, was the operative word… because after that spectacular marathon, he was definitely pleased to have plenty of unforgettable memories to keep him occupied while he waited for Blaine. It was quite something, he reflected, that Sebastian Smythe would even think about waiting like this for someone. But Blaine Anderson was worth it.

He glanced at the clock - only a handful of hours left before he would say goodbye to Blaine. Then he would also go back to school, back to life after a charmed two weeks of life living with Blaine. How different it would be, to go back to life at school, where he wouldn't wake to Blaine sitting on his bed ruffling his hair or Blaine's beautiful, compact frame leaning up against his door jamb chiding him to get up. He wouldn't get to feel Blaine lean up against him as they made their way downstairs for breakfast…

 _Stop it. This is exactly how the goddamned weepy goodbyes begin._ He was going to make the best of the final hours they had left. _Focus on that._ There were definitely still good times to be had - especially in bed. The thought of bedding Blaine again cheered Sebastian immediately. Maybe they could get in two rounds if he could get showered in a flash...Sebastian smiled as he thought about how they would make the last time count.

The last time until when? They hadn't talked about it, but this was another area where setting a specific time frame probably didn't make sense. _But the ballpark might be what, 3 months? Probably too soon. Six? When would they know? What if Blaine meets someone else in the meantime?_

 _Stop it._ Sebastian shook himself and turned on the radio.

_[youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=1dDOiR-Sfwg]  
_

_...Boy I hear you in my dreams_  
 _I feel your whisper across the sea_  
 _I keep you with me in my heart_  
 _You make it easier when the life gets hard_  
 _I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_  
 _Lucky to have been where I have been_  
 _Lucky to be coming home again  
_ _Ooh ooh ooh_

_They don't know how long it takes,_  
Waiting for a love like this  
Every time we say goodbye  
I wish we had one more kiss  
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will  


Just like the song said, he could wait, and he was lucky that he was in love with his best friend. And all signs were indicating that Blaine was on his way, too. Blaine wouldn't fall in love with someone else without knowing how things would work out with them. That's just not who he was. Blaine was just going to be spending time on his own, not dating anyone. Sebastian had nothing to worry about. Absolutely. Nothing. To. Worry. About.

_And so I'm sailing through the sea_  
 _To an island where we'll meet_  
 _You'll hear the music fill the air  
_ _I'll put a flower in your hair_

_Though the breezes through the trees_  
 _Move so pretty you're all I see_  
 _As the world keeps spinning 'round  
_ _You hold me, right here, right now_

It wouldn't be a tropical island, but maybe by the summer Blaine would feel more ready and they could spend part of their first summer as a couple in Paris. He could send Sam and the kids off to do touristy things and then he could show Blaine all his favorite haunts; buy him flowers from the corner flower cart everyday; buy him his first real Parisian coffee; bed him in a suite at the Hôtel Particulier Montmartre or the Shangri-La if Blaine preferred a view of the Eiffel Tower.

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_  
 _Lucky to have been where I have been_  
 _Lucky to be coming home again_  
 _I'm lucky we're in love in every way_  
 _Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed  
_ _Lucky to be coming home someday_

Lucky. He was lucky that he and Blaine were not starting a dating relationship full of the foolishness he had seen at Stanford. The typical college relationship seemed to involve: (1) over the top PDA; (2) practically living with one another immediately, which of course drove any roommates crazy; (3) a decline into a mess of petty soap opera drama and gossip; and (4) break-ups that were awkward at best and ugly at worst.

He was lucky. They were lucky. Very, very lucky.

He repeated different versions of this to himself all the way home.

* * *

Blaine hit speed dial 5 and turned his headset on as he rolled out onto the highway.

"Blainers!"

"Tay-Tay, thank god you picked up."

"What is it? Are you out of breath? Are you okay?" Tina put on her own headset.

"Yes, yes, I think I am." Blaine sounded excited but still a little anxious.

"What happened?"

"Sebastian and I had 'the talk'… about us."

"Ooh, wow, that's big! Last night after the party? Tell me everything." Tina said, starting to pack her suitcase for UCLA.

"This morning." Blaine grinned and blushed in spite of himself .

"This morning?" Tina froze. "Oh my god...You slept with him, didn't you?!"

Blaine blushed harder and didn't have words.

"Oh my god! You slept with him, I can HEAR you blushing now! Oh my god. Say something! Are you okay? Please tell me he didn't sneak off into the night after the sex, because I'll break his scrawny little neck if he did."

"His neck is NOT scrawny . And of course he didn't sneak off," Blaine said, rolling his eyes. "What kind of monster do you think he is?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't pick at that thread," Tina said dryly. "But okay wow, so you just confirmed it! Oh my god… " She hesitated before going on. "Okay, Okay, are you guys officially a couple now? We were right that he didn't want 'friends with benefits,' right? 'Cause if he did, I swear..."

"You'll break his neck," Blaine laughed. "No, he didn't want that. That didn't take any persuading." _Because he's done it before and he thought the feelings got in the way,_ Blaine remembered with residual concern.

"So if you aren't 'friends with benefits,' you're a couple then? Okay you did tell him that you have to be exclusive, right? Because I don't think you could really..."

Blaine interrupted her. "No, we're not a couple…" He looked troubled. "We're...friends." It really didn't seem to express what they were. They were...a couple-to-be? That sounded ridiculous. He did his best not to sigh. "And we both really believe that is the best thing for now."

Tina was momentarily silenced by her surprise. "Really? You're just friends? How did that happen? Was that even what you wanted? That's not the sense I got from you at the end of our breakfast on New Year's..."

Blaine said without thinking, "Honestly, I wasn't 100% sure of what I wanted when I walked into our conversation. I kind of wanted to see what he wanted, first." He realized he sounded weak, but thankfully Tina always loved him no matter what.

"Wait, so he dumped you?"

"Tina, no one could dump anyone in this situation because we were not even a couple."

"Well, you practically were," Tina said. " Sam said that was true before Christmas and we all could see during this whole vacation. You were cuddling and staring at each other all soft-eyed at every moment you didn't think anyone was watching; he was opening every door for you; you were RSVPing for him, adjusting his clothes, you were blowing flour off his neck after that flour fight, for goodness' sake. And then he sleeps with you but he doesn't want to date you?! The nerve of that sneaky..."

Blaine interrupted, baffled. "I thought you would be happy about this. That's why I'm calling you and not Sam! You were the one who told me that Seb and I shouldn't start dating yet...that it's too soon, that you thought I had been using him as an emotional crutch; that...that if I dated him I might go back into patterns I had with Kurt. You said that I would put our relationship too central in my identity. You were the one who said that I shouldn't date him because he's never had a boyfriend before, because it would be too hard to date long distance…"

"Yes, I still think those things, but I didn't want you to get hurt in this. I didn't want HIM to dump YOU! I wanted YOU to dump HIM !"

"Again, no one dumped anyone!" Blaine yelled, swerving to avoid a dead animal in the road. "We were not dating!"

"Potato, potahtoe. So okay if he didn't dump you, what happened? You said you didn't come in with your mind made up. Did he manipulate you into seeing his way? Because that's still him kind of dumping you."

"No, it wasn't like that. He didn't manipulate me. Stop and just LISTEN to me a for a minute."

"Sorry," Tina was finally chastened. "Go ahead."

"Like I said, he didn't manipulate me. In fact, it was quite the opposite: he was calm and open about the whole thing and he thought _I_ should take the lead in the conversation. So then we talked about the fact that we have no regrets about sleeping together; and that the sex meant a lot to both of us and made us feel closer to each other. Then he asked _me_ what _I_ wanted and we talked about it and we decided that we don't want to risk messing up our chances as a couple by dating too soon."

Tina was silent for a few moments. "Wow. You guys sound so...mature."

"Yes, I think we are being very mature about this." Blaine said proudly.

"So you've slept together, but you're going to wait to start dating…and you're really okay with this?"

"Yes," Blaine said with only the slightest hesitation.

Tina didn't miss it, but she pushed ahead anyway for his sake. "Good. Because you're doing the right thing. You really are." She furrowed her brow. "I can't believe Sebastian didn't pressure you into anything. He really walked in wanting to do this? You'd think he'd want to keep sleeping with you.."

Blaine blushed, but spoke earnestly. "Tina, I know he's had a reputation and can come across the wrong way. But he really has changed and he's really an amazing person inside, you have to trust me. And he really wants us to work out in the long run. That's why he's willing to do this. And next time we're all home together, I hope you'll spend some time with him because _I_ also really want it to work out for us - that's why we're doing this. And anyone I'm with is going to have to pass muster with you ."

"It means a lot to me that you want them to, Blainers…" Tina said. "I know I'm being pushy and overbearing, it's just I want to make sure he's good enough for you."

"He is. He really is. I know he has a lot of rough spots, but it's because he's had a lot of challenges in his life and he's really passionate about what he wants and what he thinks is right. But I love that about him." Blaine looked dreamy eyed. "It's really sweet you're so protective of me, Tay-Tay. I know Seb is a hard guy to get to know, but I think once you get to know him, you'll find he's more than good enough for me. Sam used to be really suspicious of him, but he's come around. The more time he's spent with him, the more he likes him. He even gave Sebastian a Christmas present."

Tina rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know Sam loves Sebastian - believe me. He even has a "ship name for you guys" - "Team Seblaine." She chuckled in spite of herself. "He and Nick came up with it when they hatched the plot to get you guys to smooch on New Year's Eve."

"That's hilarious," Blaine laughed. "Those guys are so cute."

"Well," Tina sighed, "I _am_ glad that you guys are taking things slow."

"We're not ' _taking'_ things at all, " Blaine said ruefully. "But I think you were right - it's the healthiest thing to do, to not jump into things too soon. I don't want to risk our friendship or what we could have as a couple."

Tina nodded. "Okay, well keep me posted. You guys were supposedly "just friends" last quarter and you ended up basically having a long distance relationship without the phone sex or the visits. I just am worried…"

"I know. But you know I think that just illustrates our point - you shouldn't be so worried about someone taking advantage of me. I need to get back on my feet, I want to be a stronger person that you would never worry that much over. And to do that, he and I even agreed to reduce our communication - we're only going to email like twice a week. That's how much you and I were averaging, right? Seb is just one of my best friends, just like you."

"One you're best friends who you've gotten naked with," Tina teased.

Blaine blushed again. "Tina! Well we're just going to...put the sex on the back burner for now... until some time, hopefully in the not too distant future, when I won't seem like such a sad, weak little creature to everyone." Blaine looked a bit sad.

"Oh, you're not so weak - it's more that I'm worried he'll screw you over somehow."

Blaine chose to ignore Tina's concern about Sebastian. "Well even if you don't see me as weak, I do."

"Well, what you think about yourself is the most important."

"Right, and I am still feeling a little unsteady...but the good news is I feel like I'm on my way back. With you, Sam, Seb and all my other friends behind me, I know I can get there. And THEN I'll be ready to be a better boyfriend to Seb."

"Then you'll be ready to live the life you really want to live, with a boyfriend or not," corrected Tina .

"Right. You see how far I still need to go?" Blaine smiled ruefully and rubbed his forehead.

Tina laughed. "You don't have to go so far...not any farther than the rest of us needy, romantic 19 year olds need to go. You're not the only one struggling to find themselves right out of high school."

"Awww, Lady... thanks for always helping me keep things in perspective."

"That's what best friends are for." Tina smiled. "So what are you up to now?"

"We just had the talk at the lake, so now we're driving back to Seb's house to drop off his car and then we're going to my house to pick up my suitcases and…" Blaine broke into a shy smile. "Wait a minute..."

"What?"

Blaine blushed as his smile got wider. "Aren't you even going to ask me?"

"Ask you about what?" Tina's brow furrowed.

"Come on, don't make me force it on you. I know you must want to know!"

"Want to know about what?!"

Blaine burst out, "The sex!"

"Oh my god!" Tina clapped a hand over her mouth. "Of course I want to know, Blainers! I just didn't think you'd want to kiss and tell!"

Blaine smirked . "Who said I wanted to talk about the kissing ?"

"Blainers!" Tina blushed herself.

Blaine blushed a deeper shade of red. "I know I know I know… I'm never like this…but it was soooo...EPIC. I have to talk to _someone_!"

"Oh my god! I figured I would have to pry it out of you another time! Spill, spill!"

"Well Tay-Tay, your boy Blainers is growing up, because I'll never be quite so inhibited again after what we did..." Blaine blushed and grinned at the same time.

"What did you do?!" Tina giggled, her mouth hanging open. "Oh my god. Sebastian _is_ really sexy, I mean he had the whole room salivating New Year's Eve…he's got the rich bad boy thing down cold. So come on come on come on, get it all off your chest…and don't worry about shocking me!"

Blaine laughed, and Tina thought she had never heard him sound so free and joyous. She conceded points to Sebastian if he was responsible for that .

"Come on, come on - let's hear it!"

Blaine sighed dramatically, and then drew a deep breath. "Well the most amazing part was how passionate and loving it felt. It was… _exquisite_. I can't think of a better word. It just felt so perfect to be that close to him, to give him everything I could and be there for him. And he made me feel so loved and cared for and appreciated; so worshipped and sexy and beautiful." Blaine flushed just remembering Sebastian's touch and the look in his green eyes.

"And god it was stunning, it literally took my breath away to get to touch him the way I've been wanting to touch him, to get to see all of him. Oh my god he's so hot, Tina! Hotter than I ever imagined...he's in the shape of his life with all the sports he's doing at Stanford, good god." Blaine stared at a distant tree down the highway but was actually imagining Sebastian laid out below him in bed. He was lost in thought for a few moments.

"Blaine?! Hello, Blaine! Grunt if you're alive!"

"Sorry, sorry..." Blaine shook himself. He sighed again and smiled. "Anyway, I couldn't believe I got to touch and kiss him everywhere I wanted to. Oh, and his neck? Again, not scrawny, it was perfect and delicious." Blaine smiled slyly before going on with starry eyes. "And I swear thought I was going to melt, the way he touched me..." He flushed again. "It felt like we were just...breathing each other and...taking each other in...like oxygen. It was like he was just everything and everywhere. It felt like I was high or drunk or out of my mind by the time we… you know," he blushed. Then he whispered urgently. "And oh my god Tay-Tay, I've never come so hard in my life!"

Tina chuckled at his embarrassment. "Oh my god that's incredible...you sound like you were levitating! Did you wake up this morning just feeling like you'd dreamed the whole thing?"

Blaine smirked. "Hey…who says we slept at all?"

"BLAINERS!"

* * *

Thanks to his lead foot and his radar detector, Sebastian beat Blaine back to his house and raced up the stairs. Perhaps he could get through his shower before Blaine even got there. He double checked that he had what he wanted in his suitcase, grabbed his clothes and stepped into the bathroom quickly. He noticed his old junior high school Ipod docking station on the bathroom console. He turned it on and cranked it up when he heard "Green Onions" come on _[listen to Seb's old blues favorite at: youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=NSfRkfeL0TM]_.

But when Sebastian stepped into the shower, his exhaustion hit him the second the hot water did. All the tension built up from his anxiety around "the Talk" and the fatigue in his muscles released and radiated as he stood under the spray. Sebastian groaned as he scrubbed his face…what he wouldn't give to go lay down. Ugh, wasn't he supposed to be coming back from vacation rested? He lathered his hair and thought he might fall asleep standing there rinsing it out.

Yeah he was tired from last night, but why did _everything_ else also have to be so exhausting in his life? He was so sick and tired of dealing with his father. He couldn't finish college soon enough and finally start making his own money to compliment the trust fund his Grandmother Smythe left him. Then he wouldn't need his father for anything anymore.

Why the hell was he thinking about his father? Then he remembered that "Green Onions" was an old favorite of his father's. He would step out of the shower and skip to the next song, but his muscles couldn't be bothered.

Regardless of what was on that ancient Ipod, he was still tired. He was already tired of not living in the same country as Blaine, and they were only one quarter into the year. He was tired in advance of not living in the same city as Blaine for the next 3 years. And even if they were doing the right thing now, he was still tired of waiting for things to align for them.

The shower door opened and Sebastian jumped. Blaine whispered, "Hey you," and stepped through the steam to slip his arms around him, wearing nothing but a sweet smile .

He was like a soothing balm to Sebastian's fatigued spirit. "Hey, babe." Sebastian leaned down and pulled him close to kiss him slowly and passionately. "Damn, you're a beautiful sight," he whispered wearily in Blaine's ear.

Blaine heard the tone of his voice and pulled back to look up at him and study his face. "Are you okay?"

"Just tired," Sebastian replied, smiling softly at him. "Someone wore me out all night and I'm sore in places that I've never been sore before." He pulled him closer again, closing his eyes to the feel the hot water pouring over their mingled skin.

"You're not the only one," laughed Blaine. "I kind of limped up that grand staircase of yours."

Sebastian smiled into his neck, lightly kissing it as he ran his hands up and down Blaine's body and felt both of them harden. "Well, hopefully we can massage all your kinks out," he murmured.

A Sting song started on the Ipod. Sebastian smiled when he recognized it. _[_ _youtubeDOTcom/watch?v= YD1mWlQHWLA_ _]_

"I thought you were tired," Blaine said smiling, nibbling his ear and giving a little moan at the friction.

"I am, but I'll push through it for this," Sebastian said, kissing his lips softly. He pulled back to tweak his nose and look in his beautiful eyes. "You are naughty, we were going to wait until we got to your house to make sure we had time."

"Cooper's home," Blaine whispered, tracing Sebastian's collarbone with his finger. "I don't want to worry about him walking in on us." He looked up with beguiling eyes, "Plus, _someone_ said scheduled intercourse is NOT sexy… "

Sebastian chuckled and ran his hand through Blaine's wet curls while palming him. "Well, desperate times call for desperate measures…we're short on time." He murmured into Blaine's ear as he licked into it. "Tell me why we didn't start doing this the minute we found each other at baggage claim two weeks ago?"

Blaine threw his head back and moaned a little moan as Sebastian lapped his way down his neck while stroking him. "Because we're stupid, stupid idiots."

Sebastian laughed lazily and stood straighter to look down at Blaine with mock seriousness. "And hey, didn't you already take a shower this morning?" He swatted his ass playfully..

Blaine groaned low in his ear. "Well, shower sex has been on my mind since I walked in on you in that teeny, weeny towel last week." Then he pulled back to look at Sebastian with big, innocent eyes. "Plus, I need another shower because I'm a dirty, dirty boy…"

"Fuck, Killer…" Sebastian growled, and they commenced Round Whatever the Hell Number They Were Up To.

_If it's a mirror you want, just look into my eyes_  
 _Or a whipping boy, someone to despise_  
 _Or a prisoner in the dark_  
 _Tied up in chains you just can't see_  
 _Or a beast in a gilded cage  
_ _That's all some people ever want to be_

_If you love somebody,_  
 _If you love someone_  
 _If you love somebody_  
 _If you love someone  
_ _Set them free_

* * *

As Blaine turned the key in the lock, Cooper's hand jerked the door open, causing both Sebastian and Blaine to step back in surprise. "HEL-LO Lovebirds! I was so delighted to see the car pull up."

Sebastian chuckled. Blaine pushed past his brother as he opened the door. "We're in a hurry Coop! We have to leave for the airport, in case there's traffic. Get out of the way, I left my messenger bag in the kitchen." He started heading across the hall.

"I'll go grab your other bags," Sebastian said slyly as he started up the staircase. "So you two can have a few more moments of brotherly love." Blaine glared at him as he ran the rest of the way up the stairs.

In the kitchen Blaine sighed and turned to his brother, who was practically panting. "Yes, we slept together."

"I KNEW IT! I could tell the second you walked in the door. Sebastian looked WAY too smug. Yes yes yes!" Cooper pumped his fist in the air. "You two are the cutest…I just knew it was going to happen. I _told_ mom… "

Blaine looked at him in horror. "You talked to mom about whether or not you thought Sebastian and I would sleep together?!"

Cooper laughed. "Sure. Heck, the way you two have been carrying on, I'm surprised Dad didn't ask me about it."

Blaine looked appalled at the very idea.

Cooper grinned. "Oh boy, all that lovely money in the family… I knew 2014 is going to be a very good year…"

"Coop, we're not getting married…" Blaine rolled his eyes. "We're not even…"

"Oh just having him around more will mean good times!" Cooper interrupted mischievously. "Does he own a yacht? I've always wanted to go on a yacht that wasn't rented… If you come to UCLA next year we can all have such good times, the four of us: you, me, Seb and his money."

Blaine looked at him pointedly. "Coop, let me make this clear before he comes back downstairs and you embarrass us both some more. Yes, we slept together, but we actually decided that we are going to put the whole dating thing on the back burner for awhile and go back to being just friends."

"What?!" Cooper's blue eyes were confused.

"We are just friends...for now," Blaine said, bracing himself for what he knew would be his big brother's disapproval.

"Oh, so that's what you meant by back burner. But...why?" Cooper looked entirely disgusted at the idea. "Who does that?" Then he shifted to his patronizing manner.

[](http://imgur.com/f5Q5gNV)

"Little brother, I know you've only dated Kurt before this, but let me give you a little Dating 101. If you hook-up with someone, you either start dating or you get awkward and never talk again."

Blaine looked doubtful.

"Ok, I suppose there are a few rare pairings that hook up and go back to being friends. But no one hooks up, puts 'dating on the backburner' and goes back to being friends in the meantime. What kind of lukewarm sentiment is that?"

"It's not lukewarm!" Blaine chided his brother. "We're just being smart. I want to spend some time on my own without a boyfriend for awhile – get my act together on my own without relying on a boyfriend."

"You really think you can just put the toothpaste back in the tube now ?"

"What?" Blaine looked befuddled.

"You've slept together. There's no going back from that. You can't just try to pretend it didn't happen, you can't try to shove the toothpaste back in the tube once you've squeezed it out."

Blaine furrowed his brow at him. "That is the weirdest romance analogy I've ever heard."

"Whatever. Just go for it, Blainey! Stop worrying so much and just call him your boyfriend, it's really okay… you're plenty independent enough already. I bet you can sing me a Beyonce song to illustrate my point, too. Or Whitney."

Blaine glared at him. "Coop, I didn't ask your advice on this."

"Or Madonna."

"Stop. We don't want to put the boyfriend label on it."

"Or Aretha. No, I take that back, you can't really pull off any of her stuff, I don't think. No offense."

"Coop, are you listening to me?!" Blaine shook his brother. "I know myself – calling him my boyfriend and letting him spoil me and do all the things I'm sure he'll do once he's my boyfriend...all of that'll make me too romantic and obsessed about him and I don't want to be that guy anymore. Until I feel like I won't be that guy, we're staying just friends."

Cooper sighed. "And how long do you think that will that take?"

"I don't know…maybe by the end of the school year?"

"Well, don't take too long. He'll get snapped up while you're busy 'finding yourself.'"

Blaine hadn't thought of that. "He will not," he said with false assurance.

Cooper raised his eyebrows. "With all the gay guys in San Francisco, he said he's going to wait for you? I'm pretty sure my gay buddy Paul told me there is a gay travel agency vacation package that includes an excursion onto Stanford's campus to pluck pretty boys like Seb out for a good time."

They heard Sebastian reach the bottom of the stairs and put the luggage down into the hall.

"We have to go," Blaine said with irritation.

"I'm going to call you to follow-up with you about this," warned Cooper in a stage whisper as they walked into the hall. He grabbed a suitcase.

"Then I'll know to ignore your call," groused Blaine in an undertone.

"Open the door, Squirt."

Sebastian, sensing the tension, opened the door first and stepped out ahead of them with the rest of the luggage.

"For the last time, don't call me that! I can't expect you to understand this. Just leave me alone!" Blaine hissed as they followed Sebastian out to the car. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at them and got into the passenger seat to wait while the brothers loaded the rest of the luggage in the trunk.

"Okay, okay, okay…" Cooper relented and spoke gently as he put his arm around his brother's shoulders. "Don't be mad, Blainey. But just try not to over-think things, okay? I just want you to be happy, and Seb seems to make you happy. It's as simple as that."

Blaine softened. "I know you want me to be happy, Coop. But trust me, I am happy. I'm happy just knowing that Seb and I are going to work this out. It's just hard to explain. But don't worry about me. I won't let him get away. Just trust me to take care of myself. I know I don't have the best track record, but I swear I'm learning from my mistakes."

"Okay, okay. I forget you aren't twelve anymore, sometimes." Cooper gave him a tight hug. "Call us when you land. Love you."

"I love you too, Coop. It was great spending some time with you. Good luck with that commercial audition tomorrow. I'll call you."

Blaine climbed in the car and put it in reverse. Cooper stood on the driveway, waving and calling out, "Seb, I'll still be here when you get back!"

Sebastian lifted his chin in acknowledgement, Blaine waved, and they drove off.

Blaine let out a deep breath.

"You okay?" Sebastian asked, looking cautiously over and patting Blaine's leg.

Blaine glanced over with a look of mild frustration. "Yes, I'm fine. He was just being his impatient self. He doesn't really get what we're doing, waiting and everything."

Sebastian nodded. He took a breath. "You know it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, right?"

Blaine nodded, taking a breath as well. "You're right. We know what's best for us."

"Right." Sebastian answered with less conviction.

There was an awkward pause. All Blaine could think of was the ridiculous gay travel package excursion.

"Seb?"

"Yeah?"

"We didn't talk about something important this morning."

"What?"

"You. We were so busy talking about me...we didn't talk about what you're going to do. If we aren't going to be dating, than you should...you should feel free to date other people." Blaine swallowed thickly.

Sebastian shook his head. "I don't think you should worry about that, Killer."

Blaine looked at him with big eyes. "You'd really wait for for me? That doesn't seem fair."

Sebastian smirked. "Well then you'll have to owe me." When he saw Blaine still looking worried, he added quickly, "I was kidding! Of course you wouldn't owe me anything. I don't want to be with anyone else."

Blaine exhaled but still looked concerned.

Sebastian rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. "And clearly, I still suck at this."

Blaine shook his head and squeezed his leg, half smiling as he let out another quick exhale. "It's okay. Your smirky snark is like hard-wired in you. I appreciate you wanting to wait for me. But I want you to let me know if it gets too much, I want to know how it's going for you. Because it really doesn't seem fair."

Sebastian's green eyes were sincere. "B, I don't care about what's fair." He squeezed Blaine's leg. "I care about you ."

Blaine gave him an appreciative smile. They sat in silence for a minute, both looking thoughtful.

Sebastian pulled out his IPhone and docked it to the car radio. He found a song, put his hand on Blaine's leg and gave him a reassuring look as it played:

_[youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=9kNzRuM0BWk]_

When he heard the opening notes, Blaine gave Sebastian a sentimental look and they sang along, first in turn:

[Sebastian sang as Blaine tremulously glanced at him as he drove.]  
 _Woe is me_  
Faithless you and selfish me  
I will leave a key for you outside my doorway

[Blaine sang next as Sebastian gazed out at the gray, flying scenery] __  
Woe is me  
One if by the land or two by sea  
So won't you leave for me a light outside your doorway

_On a ladder from there to here I'll climb_  
 _All this clatter between my ears I find_  
 _Does it matter if I can't clear my mind_  
 _There's a right and a wrong time_

[Sebastian]  
 _Woe is me_  
Sentimental you and faithful me  
And I will be the one to gaze on you discreetly

_Slow your speed_  
 _Turn yourself around and follow me_  
 _'Cause I will be the one who preys upon you sweetly_

[Blaine]  
 _On a ladder from there to here I'll climb_  
All this clatter between my ears I find  
Does it matter if I can't clear my mind  
There's a right and a wrong time

[Both]  
 _Whoa_  
Oh  
Whoa  
Oh  
Oh

They were both staring at the road ahead as the song ended. "Thank you," Blaine whispered.

"Thank _you_ ," Sebastian replied seriously.

"For what?"

Sebastian turned to look out the passenger window at the snowy scenery. "For… being you," he said slowly. "Of course I'm going to wait for you." He continued with quiet certainty, checking off a mental checklist. "Thank you for becoming my friend even though Kurt hated me. Thank you for giving me a second chance after I betrayed you and slushied you _and_ Santana; Thank you for believing me when I told you about the steroids. Thank you for listening to me rant about my idiot father. Thank you for looking past all my obnoxious qualities and even finding them amusing. Thank you for taking care of me last quarter and during this vacation. Thank you for saving my Christmas like some little claymation character. Of _course_ I'm going to wait for you."

Blaine smiled at him and reached over to squeeze his hand. "You're very welcome, you deserved all of that." He changed lanes and they sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. Then Blaine gave a sidelong glance and couldn't resist teasing, "But is that the beginning of a weepy goodbye? Because I didn't think you did weepy goodbyes."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "That was appreciation; gratitude. That was a lovely moment you managed to cut off at the knees because you've been hanging out with me too long and have become almost as snarky as me."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Seb." Blaine smiled at him affectionately .

Sebastian ignored him and continued, putting his snobby airs. "A weepy goodbye includes bemoaning a situation you can't change; blathering on and on about how much you're going to miss someone even though, again, there is nothing you can do about it at the present time. A weepy goodbye includes getting overly sentimental about past events and making unrealistic promises about in the future. And most annoyingly of all, it involves overly extravagant displays of affection at train stations and airports that make everyone around you uncomfortable or disgusted."

Blaine's eyes widened and he burst into an amused little laugh. "Wow, you've given this a lot of thought."

"No, I haven't. I have just done a lot of travelling and have seen a lot of weepy goodbyes."

Blaine chuckled. "Okay, so I can't go on and on about how much I will miss you, but I can express gratitude and give thanks. And I can't get overly sentimental about the past events. What if I am thanking you about past events?"

"You can thank me but don't get overly sentimental - use your best judgment. And don't get nitpicky on me, Anderson. Do you not get the general gist? Appreciation and gratitude, versus unproductive sentiment?"

"I get it, I get it," chuckled Blaine. "I love that emotions have to be productive for you. You are going to the top of your engineering class. Ok, so I will focus on appreciation and gratitude."

"Yes," Sebastian smirked. "It should be easy...I have given you so many things to be grateful about. Especially in bed."

Blaine smacked him. "I'm not going to be grateful to you when you are feeling so full of yourself."

"Okay," Sebastian said with a look of saucy reproach, "but you only have a couple of hours left, and that's the closest you're going to get to giving me your weepy goodbye!"

At the mention of their timeline, they were both sobered. Blaine recovered first, bravely trying to regain the mood. "Fine, then I'll say thank you for not pressuring me into a threesome with that hot guy at the Tavern," he said, smiling in spite of himself.

Sebastian had to chuckle at that. "Oh I don't think you should thank me for that! How can you know what's on the menu unless you try?" He gave Blaine a mischievous look.

"Sebastian!" Blaine blushed bright red.

"I'm glad there's some bashful schoolboy innocence left in you after last night." And with that, Sebastian hit shuffle on his IPhone's Ipod and they sang along to music for the rest of the drive...though they skipped everything too sentimental or sad.

* * *

When they got to the airport there were no more songs to distract and seemingly nothing left to say. Their spirits began to sink as the reality of Blaine's departure settled upon them. It was inevitable as they were quickly surrounded by hundreds of travellers going off to myriad destinations - travellers just like Blaine with suitcases and and tickets and backpacks. Sebastian fell into a brooding silence as everything started to suddenly happen too quickly: they found a parking spot much too close to the terminal; there was no line to the self-service kiosk to print the boarding pass and check the suitcases. As they waited for an agent to weigh his bags, Blaine felt almost panicked. This was it, next he would be getting into the security line and he wouldn't see Sebastian for months. As the agent took his bags, Blaine felt a rush of emotion and took Sebastian's hand, looking up at him with sad eyes.

Sebastian's looked like a thundercloud, but he tried to give Blaine a reassuring nod. "Hey, don't give up on me now. I'm going to hang with you until we get you onto that plane."

Blaine thanked the agent and then looked at Sebastian with a puzzled face as they started walking towards security. "How can you hang with me until I get on the plane?"

"I have a flight out of this terminal tonight, Killer. I printed my boarding pass so I can get through security with you ."

Blaine looked at him with surprise. Then he put his arm around Sebastian's waist and his clear hazel eyes were grateful. "You think of everything."

Sebastian gave him a half-smile back and placed his hand at the small of Blaine's back as they walked around a large tour group. "Just the important stuff."

After showing their boarding passes and IDs, they stepped into the security line. "Damn, it's crowded today," Sebastian remarked, eyeing the unusually long security line. "I guess every college student in Western Ohio is headed back to school."

Now free of all the luggage except the Blaine's fairly full messenger bag, Sebastian took it from Blaine and put it on, the satchel hanging behind him as he adjusted the strap across his broad chest. Blaine whispered thanks, but looked sad again. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at Sebastian tenderly, his mouth set in a straight line.

Sebastian put his arms around Blaine and tried to comfort him in spite of his own dismal mood. He took a deep breath, lifted Blaine's chin to look at him and say bravely, "Okay, what would Nina tell us?"

Blaine put his arms around Sebastian's waist and watched courage building in the green eyes. "Nina would say, 'It is what it is.'"

Sebastian nodded, trying to be strong enough for them both. "We can't stand here and get weepy about missing each other. We just can't, because we both know I am an emotionally handicapped jackass. If we keep brooding, we would risk me imploding somehow and abandoning you here in line or something, and we don't want me to do that. So we will have to focus on what there is to look forward to this quarter."

Blaine smiled in spite of himself. "You are not an emotionally handicapped jackass," he chuckled. "The fact that you are reminding us about Nina shows that you are not. "And you are right," he continued, heartened by Sebastian's effort. "We should focus on what's good ahead. And," he added, "we can focus on what's good right now - we can appreciate each other, like you said in the car. In fact," he said playfully, "we can make it like a game and take turns. I'll start..." He gave Sebastian a wistful smile as they stepped sideways to move forward in line. "I appreciate you cheering me up right now."

Sebastian looked at him fondly. "It's nothing you don't do for me all the time."

"Your turn," Blaine said, his eyes twinkling at him engagingly.

Sebastian looked thoughtful as he brought a hand up to brush his fingers over the back of Blaine's neck. "Let's see, I look forward to hearing more of your original music." He leaned over and kissed the top of Blaine's head. He looked at Blaine with soft eyes. "That Christmas gift, letting me be the first to hear those songs…" Sebastian was at a loss for words, so he just leaned down again, this time pressing his lips against Blaine's cheek and murmuring, "Thank you again," in his ear.

"Mmmmm…" Blaine hummed quietly, feeling like he was melting into Sebastian's lips against his skin. He closed his eyes and whispered with a smile, "We are bordering on being one of those extravagant displays of affection you hate in weepy goodbyes."

Sebastian shrugged. " Oh, but you and I are two gay men, our PDA is partially a political statement."

Blaine laughed, blushing and trying to think straight as they moved forward in line. "Ummm, is it my turn? I'm looking forward to...taking that 'Singing for Musical Theatre' class - even if I'll have to admit I have no real vibrato."

Sebastian made Blaine look him in the eye. "And I'm looking forward to hearing about how you have them at your feet even without the fucking vibrato. Just like last night at the party."

Blaine smiled at him fondly. "I appreciate you for always being my biggest fan."

Sebastian smiled back at him. "I have to say that it kills me that you never came back to Dalton and I never got to hear you every day with the Warblers."

"You couldn't have handled never getting solos," Blaine said saucily, tossing his head.

"Why you arrogant little bitch…" Sebastian retorted, laughing and tickling Blaine a bit .

"I'm gonna miss you too!" Blaine giggled and squirmed as they moved forward in line. Then he leaned his head on Sebastian's chest and said warmly, "Actually, watching you New Year's Eve and at the party last night reminded me of how much I love seeing you perform. So that's something else I appreciate about you, your magnetic talent."

"Well it goes both ways," Sebastian replied, playing with a stray curl on Blaine's forehead. Then he teased, "Wait this whole game is just a rouse so you can fish for compliments! Yes, yes, yes, you already knew I love your singing: in competitions, in the car, at karaoke in the Tavern, at parties, in the shower…"

"You know I sing in the shower?" Blaine's eyes widened.

"Sometimes you're really loud and you leave the bedroom door open a crack. And the door to your bathroom is not very soundproofed." Sebastian smirked. "So I laid down on your bed a couple of times over vacation and listened to your shower concerts. Great acoustics."

"And you didn't wait for me to come out and take bow?" Blaine asked with a flirty smile .

"Oh please, you would have shrieked like a woman and chased me out. And then you would have followed up with me to fish for compliments, being the needy little thing you are."

"I'm gonna miss you, too, you jackass," Blaine snorted. They moved forward in line again, shifting to stand side by side, arms around each others' waists again. "Your turn, eavesdropper."

Sebastian looked thoughtful. "Let's see, what else...oh, I'm looking forward to lacrosse season beginning. That's good news, because I can work out some of my aggression during games in a way I can't when we're just conditioning."

"Yeah, you can beat on guys to work through your aggression and score goals to give your spirits a rush," Blaine smiled at him fondly. " I wish I could see you play, I loved seeing the joy on your face after the couple of games I saw you play at Dalton. The only thing I didn't like was that I couldn't see your handsome face during the game because of those ugly helmets."

"Those ugly helmets keep my handsome face from getting smashed in," Sebastian winked. "I loved that one of the times you came to watch me, you came straight from Cheerios practice in your sexy uniform." He gave Blaine's hips and ass a quick squeeze.

"Eek! Seb!" Blaine jumped and scolded him in a loud whisper.

"Oh please," Sebastian's voice was low in his ear. "I'm no worse than that couple playing tonsil hockey over there," he pointed behind Blaine where a couple was saying a passionate farewell at the start of the security line.

They moved forward in line again and Blaine shook his head, though he couldn't restrain a smile. He whispered again. "You also bruised me there last night, so be careful!"

Seb smirked and whispered in his ear. "Mmm...I remember that. Should we find a bathroom stall and mark you up some more?"

Blaine blushed. "BEHAVE! It's your turn."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "I appreciate your neck."

"What?" Blaine wrinkled his brow.

"Your neck." Sebastian turned to face Blaine and put his arms around him again. He pulled him very, very, close and felt his pulse beat faster as he whispered, "I appreciate how soft the skin is, and I appreciate the way it curves, and how it smells… "

Sebastian found that his heart unexpectedly ached.

It was worse for Blaine. Having Sebastian so very close to him again, hearing his voice like that - it was too painfully intimate, too much for his very tender heart. Blaine's eyes filled with tears as he pushed him gently but urgently away. "Seb, don't."

Sebastian's eyes widened when he heard Blaine's voice choked with tears. He pulled away immediately and his eyes were wet, too. "I'm sorry, babe. I was just playing…I'm sorry."

"Just…" Blaine winked away the tears and floundered for what to say. "Can you just...not?"

"Yeah, of course," Sebastian said, stepping away even further from him and feeling like a murderer. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"AHEM," the passenger behind them coughed. They looked up to see the wide gap between them and the next passenger. They quickly moved forward in line again, Blaine apologizing and Sebastian careful not touch Blaine at all.

There was an awkward pause between them.

Blaine finally spoke up bravely. "I'm looking forward to counting the number of commas in your rambling emails to me again."

There was an awkward pause. Sebastian looked at him grimly. "I'm looking forward to the reduced number of opportunities to make you cry."

Blaine took his hand and squeezed it, turning to look him the eye. "I appreciate the way you always apologize right away and you don't have too much pride when it comes to little things. I appreciate the way you work really hard to always make things right between us when when we fight. I appreciate how much you care about us."

They moved forward in line, still holding hands. Sebastian looked at him seriously. "I appreciate your capacity for forgiveness." Then he groused, " Tell me again why you can't be mine?"

Blaine's eyes filled with tears again and he shook his head as he gave Sebastian a sad smile. "I don't think we should be rethinking our decision while we are failing spectacularly at avoiding a weepy goodbye at the airport."

"You have a point," Sebastian said, running a hand through his hair. He arched an eyebrow at Blaine, squeezing his hand. "Okay, is it horrible to say that I'm looking forward to this weepy goodbye being over?"

Blaine chuckled in spite of himself. "No, I'm right there with you."

They laughed heartily and swung their hands as they walked forward a few steps..

With one finger raised in warning, Blaine continued with mock severity, "But if you leave me right now I will hate you forever and send Santana to rip out your soul."

Sebastian had to chuckle at that. "Please, tell me how you really feel," he joked.

They moved up in line again and chose one of three lanes leading to security checkpoints. They had to remove their shoes, coats and Blaine's laptop and tablet from the messenger bag. After they got through security they didn't put their coats back on in the warm, overcrowded terminal. They found the coffee cart and ordered.

While they waited for coffees, Sebastian stood behind Blaine and put his arms around him. Blaine leaned back against him and leaned his head against the nape of Sebastian's neck..

Sebastian sang " _Wonderland"_ softly in his ear _[from playDOTspotifyDOTcom/album/0ZEAcob9ZxFDdnQIHzp1Zo]:_

_I will hold you, I will catch you_  
 _When you feel like you're falling  
_ _When you feel like you're falling_

Blaine sang with him at the 2nd verse

_And I'll be near you, I will hear you_  
 _When you are calling  
_ _When you are calling_

They got their coffees and found Blaine's gate. There was still a half hour before boarding. They sat down at the edge of the gate area and Blaine rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian leaned his cheek on Blaine's curly hair. "Ugh," Blaine groaned. "I'm so exhausted. I don't know how you pulled off so many all-nighters at Stanford."

"Adrenaline driven by a strong distaste for my father's tongue-lashings. Or Red Bull and a good DJ, if it was at a party or a club."

Blaine snuggled as closely as he could while Sebastian sang softly again:

_Eat me, drink me, win me, lose me_  
 _Either way you have to choose me_  
 _Eat me, drink me, love me, hate me  
_ _Either way you can't escape me_

Blaine sang the next verse with his eyes closed:

_I will hold you, I will catch you_  
 _When you feel like you're falling_  
 _When you feel like you're falling_  
 _I'll be near you, I will hear you_  
 _When you are calling  
_ _When you are calling_

It wasn't long before they both dozed off, their coffees almost untouched.

"FINAL BOARDING FOR FLIGHT 1256 TO NEW YORK JFK. FINAL BOARDING FOR FLIGHT 1256 TO NEW YORK JFK."

Sebastian woke with a start at the sound of the boarding announcement, seeing the nearly empty gate area around them. He sat up, knocking Blaine's head up off his shoulder and saying urgently, "BLAINE. Wake up. They're closing the doors on your flight."

"Oh! Oh!" Blaine sat up, wild eyed.

Sebastian picked up the satchel by its handle and thrust it into Blaine's hands, along with his coat. He took a breath as it all sank in, looking into Blaine's eyes with intensity. "It's time to go, Killer."

Blaine was less lucid, still casting glances around the gate area. He turned toward the gate and stopped mid-step, whirling around and finally slowing down to look at Sebastian with tears in his eyes. He leaned in for a tender kiss, his coat and bag awkwardly separating them. Their lips urgently betrayed what they were afraid to say.

[](http://imgur.com/kUr2Gcb)

[x](http://sebastianwsmythe.tumblr.com/post/64744032539)

Sebastian's arms wrapped tightly around him and Blaine whispered desperately in his ear. "Maybe we're over-thinking this? Can't we just be.."

Sebastian looked torn and was unable to speak. He had no idea what to say and felt wildly out of his depth. Instead of saying anything, he just kissed Blaine again, parting their lips and caressing Blaine's tongue with his own. Blaine kissed him back just as lovingly, clinging to him fervently.

"PAGING PASSENGER BLAINE ANDERSON, FOR AMERICAN AIRLINES FLIGHT 1256 TO NEW YORK JFK."

They tore themselves apart and didn't say another word for fear of what they would say. Blaine rushed to the gate agent, apologizing, and after she scanned his boarding pass he walked quickly down the jetbridge to bring up the rear of the lineup of passengers. He turned around in the shadows of the darkened jetbridge, his face illuminated by the sparse but harsh lighting: 

[](http://imgur.com/fQh1dVs)

After a few moments Blaine attempted a sad smile and waved, moving up in the line a few times and turning back around to each time to smile and wave again.

Sebastian stood stiffly, unable to smile or wave until the last time Blaine turned around. He raised hand awkwardly and held it there until Blaine had to turn the corner.

[](http://imgur.com/RqgTUfN)

Sebastian stood staring at the empty bridge for a full minute. He walked up to the floor to ceiling window next to the gate and stared at the plane, wondering if Blaine had a window seat on the side of the plane facing him. He felt pathetic, but couldn't bring himself to tear away from his spot. He couldn't really see anyone through the small windows but he waited until the plane rolled away anyway. As he finally turned around, his phone sounded with Blaine's text-tone.

_BLAINE: I'm not supposed to be texting. But I just wanted to say that I'm going to miss you so much. I'm sorry if this makes you weepy. Too bad._

_SEB: You have officially lost your own game._

_BLAINE: I really have to go. I'll try to call you when I get to New York. I hate you for sending me to Scotland this year._

_SEB: I'm gonna miss you too, Killer._

Sebastian pocketed his phone as his eyes welled up and he started back through the terminal. _And that,_ he thought, _is why I hate weepy goodbyes._

* * *

As the plane took off, Blaine tried not to think about Sebastian. He knew his physical exhaustion was making everything seem worse. He needed to sleep to get better perspective. He pulled the messenger bag out from under the seat in front of him. Opening the flap, he rummaged around for his inflatable plane pillow. Then his fingers touched unfamiliar, glossy paper. Peering into the dark bag, he saw a glint of gold as well. He reached in deeper and pulled out a flat, beautifully wrapped gift. A small, thick, cream-colored notecard was attached to the expensive satin ribbon. The note was in Sebastian's familiar scrawl:

_As promised, part two of your Christmas gift. I said you couldn't open it until you got back to Scotland, but since you aren't under my thumb anymore, I guess I can't stop you from opening it on the plane. It's not a big deal, just something to remind you to use part one of my gift. Don't let Sam get his big grubby fingerprints on it ._

_Yours,_

_Seb  
_

Blaine opened it slowly, wanting to savor the moment. Inside was a gorgeous silver Tiffany picture frame with an expensive canvas printed copy of the photo Nick took of Sebastian and Blaine on China Beach in San Francisco. Sebastian's arms engulfed Blaine from behind and Blaine's curls had been unleashed by the sea air. They were both looking sentimental and wistfully happy. Engraved on the bottom of the frame were the words, "Beauty and the Beast."

* * *

Sebastian shook his head as he bumped his knees trying to adjust the driver's seat of the Andersons' station wagon to fit his tall frame. The obvious song to play on the way home, he thought grimly, was the Mraz tear jerker. _If I'm going to be a weepy cliche today, I may as well play the part all the fucking way through:_

_(_ _ youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=FsVQzD6DSn8 _ _)_

_When I look into your eyes  
_ _It's like watching the night sky  
_ _Or a beautiful sunrise  
_ _There's so much they hold  
_ _And just like them old stars_  
 _I see that you've come so far  
_ _To be right where you are  
_ _How old is your soul?  
_ __  
I won't give up on us  
 _Even if the skies get rough  
_ _I'm giving you all my love  
_ _I'm still looking up  
_ _And when you're needing your space_  
  
 _To do some navigating  
_ _I'll be here patiently waiting  
_ _To see what you find  
_ _'Cause even the stars they burn_  
  
 _Some even fall to the earth  
_ _We've got a lot to learn  
_ _God knows we're worth it  
_ _No, i won't give up  
_ __  
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
 _I'm here to stay and make the difference that i can make  
_ _Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
_ _the tools and gifts we got yeah we got a lot at stake  
_ _And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend_  
  
 _For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn  
_ _We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in  
_ _I had to learn what i got, and what i'm not  
_ _And who i am  
_ _I won't give up on us_  
 _Even if the skies get rough  
_ _I'm giving you all my love  
_ _I'm still looking up  
_ _I'm still looking up_

* * *

When he got back to the Andersons' house, Sebastian opened the front door quietly so as to not alert Cooper to his arrival. He crept stealthily upstairs to the guest bedroom that had begun to feel like his own. He kicked off his shoes and lay down, knowing he should nap before beginning his travel back to Stanford. He closed his eyes, but sleep would not come. All he could see was Blaine's face on that jetbridge and all he could hear was the goddamned Jason Mraz song. He sat up, shaking himself. Shake it off, shake it off.

He picked up his phone and slid his way back to lean on the cushioned headboard. This could be a big mistake right now. But she was going to find out at some point, so he might as well get it over with.

He opened up his texting app.

_SEB: Hey._

_TANA: Hey._

_SEB: Well, he definitely doesn't think of me as a eunuch._

_TANA: I told you so! Took you long enough, Don Juan. So will it be a church wedding?_

_SEB: Slow down, Dolly._

_TANA: Who the hell is Dolly, did you find yourself a new hag?_

_SEB: Dolly Levi, the matchmaker from Hello, Dolly - the musical. Aren't you supposed to have picked this stuff up by osmosis from Berry Shortcake and Princess Sparkly Brooch ?_

_TANA: Blaine's your boyfriend now, I think it's time you took it down a notch on Kurt ._

_SEB: Blaine's not my boyfriend._

Sebastian counted down: 3, 2, 1. Bingo - Santana's Yeastistat jingle ringtone.

He answered calmly, "Latina Lesbian Dating Service, how may I help you? I'm afraid we're not accepting any more ugly clients so you'll have to call back in 3-6 months.."

Santana exploded. "What the hell do you mean, he's not your boyfriend?!"

Sebastian was unruffled. "We decided to wait."

"For what?"

"For him to be ready."

Santana still sounded frustrated. "Ready for what?"

"Ready for us to date."

"But you were already dating," she argued.

"No we weren't, and you know that."

"Come on, you pretty much were, Seb - the love letters, the hand holding, the cuddling, everything but the kissing and the humping. Now that you've done that, you've got the whole package. Why the hell aren't you giving Short Stack the boyfriend title? He's earned it."

Sebastian was calm and firm. "He doesn't want it ."

"What? No way..."

"We decided that he could use some more time on his own without having a boyfriend. Leave it alone."

"So you're friends with benefits? I don't think Blaine is going to…"

Sebastian tried to stay cool. "Tana you are now in the 'none of your godforsaken business' zone."

"Come on, now…" Santana coaxed.

He was getting irritated now. "Still not talking about it. So you can get off my case or I'm taking back that bling I got you for Christmas."

She kept wheedling. "Come on Seb, are you going to get to keep corrupting our bow-tied baby, or no? The blogosphere awaits a news update..."

He sounded weary. "Santana, stick to feminine hygiene product promotion. Even you are no match for Perez Hilton."

"Okay, fine - the activities of your bare ass aside, I still don't get you two not becoming Danny and Sandy. Really, did you make him do this no-boyfriend thing? If you are breaking Blaine's heart the entirety of the McKinley glee club, past and present, will hunt you down in that mangy little Stanford dorm room and rip your head off ."

Sebastian tried to bring heat to his voice but found he lacked the energy. He just sounded exhausted and annoyed. "You and your gang of public school morons can go back to your ghetto. I did not make him do anything. What Blaine and I decided to be the right thing for us is _between us_. So for the last time, back the hell off."

"If it's the right thing for you, then why do you sound like a weepy little girl right now? I swear, if you decided to put your precious reputation ahead of Blaine's bowtied heart..."

"On what planet would I try to hurt Blaine?!?!" Sebastian erupted. "Shut the fuck up, Santana!" Sebastian's voice choked on him and he also instantly knew he could never look Santana in the face again. He cursed himself for indeed sounding exactly like a weepy little girl.

She had never heard him sound like _that_ before. Santana was thrown but she strained to sound natural. "Fine, fine, Slick. You and little B are both grade A nerds, so I'll trust that you two got your gelled, brainiac heads together and came up with a dark, twisted and brilliant plan."

"Don't patronize me, Snix." Sebastian barked. "Yes we've figured out what we want, but I am in no mood to explain it to you and feel no need to justify it to anyone else. And if I sound…pissed off right now, it's because you're getting on my last nerve while I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep last night."

"You didn't sleep last night?" Santana teased, glad for a change of subject. "Ooohh…NICE. Oh wait…I should probably say 'naughty,' yes?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Seriously, I don't even know why I picked up your call. I really only had the energy to text, and now that you've been harassing me I'm completely done. I'm taking a nap, so don't bug me until you come drag me out of bed when it's time to go."

"Fine, fine." Santana said, with a little more gentleness than usual. "Get some shut eye, Grouchy!Warbler."

* * *

When Santana rang, Cooper answered the door. "He's napping upstairs," he said, leading her up to the guest bedroom.

"You heard?" Cooper asked her as they reached the top of the staircase.

"Yeah," Santana answered. "So messed up."

"I'm with you, but Blaine is stubborn. I guess they have to take their own pace." Cooper shrugged.

Santana acknowledged his logic but still shook her head as she knocked on the guest room door.

No answer.

They knocked a few times, then opened the door and found Sebastian, still in his coat, splayed out on top of the made bed.

Santana sat down next to him and shook him. "Seb, let's go, we gotta go catch your flight."

No response.

Santana shook him again. "SEB! We's gots to go! Your flight!"

Sebastian groaned, his eyes still closed, "Why does it have to be so friggin' hard?!"

Cooper chuckled. "I'll bring his bags out to the car." Santana gave Cooper her car keys with a nod. He took two bags and left the room.

Santana pushed the hair out of Sebastian's face. "Come on Twink, we can talk about it in the car."

"Tana, I'm gonna miss you so much," Sebastian slurred, his eyes still closed and holding her hand in both of his.

"What? I can't even understand you - have you been drinking?"

"No…" Sebastian threw an arm across his eyes. "I'm just tired. I guess I'm sleep drunk."

Santana chuckled and moved his arm out of his eyes. She patted his cheek. "What?"

"Blaine told me about it..." he slurred.

"Ok ok Slick, you can tell me all about it in the car. We gotta get going."

Sebastian was still half asleep and rambling, now pulling a throw pillow over his face. "But what if it was a pity fuck? Because of Christmas Eve when my dad stood me up? He said it wasn't a pity fuck because my dad yelled at me last night. But what if it was a pity fuck because of Christmas?"

Santana shook her head and took the throw pillow away. "Seb, it's really time to get up."

"But what if it was pity fuck? He's soooo nice. Maybe he was being nice." he whined, keeping his eyes squeezed shut.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Okay, how many days between Christmas and sex?"

Sebastian opened one eye halfway. "I don't know…7, 8?"

Santana said definitively, "Then definitely not a pity fuck. Too many days in between. Now get up!" she poked at his ribs.

"Argh!" Sebastian wriggled and finally sat up, squinting. "You're mean. I'm not gonna miss you that much after all."

* * *

Sebastian and Santana were silent for the entire drive to the airport, Sebastian dozing when he wasn't staring out the window, glassy eyed. Santana pulled up to the airport curb and got out to walk around to the trunk where Sebastian was pulling out luggage and putting it on the curb. She finally spoke. "I'll try to come out and see ya next month."

"You'd better, or I'm trading you in for Quinn. Better educated."

"Wanker!"

"Wench!"

They hugged. Sebastian was turning to leave when Santana gave his arm a good humored squeeze. "So, does your heart feel like it's been ripped out of your chest?"

"That sounds about right," Sebastian raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, that's feelings after sex. Welcome to the big time."

Sebastian grunted and walked away with his luggage rolling behind him. "Bitch!" he called.

"Whore!" she yelled after him, laughing. "Call me!"

* * *

_Hey everyone, hope you survived this chapter! I tried to sprinkle in as much humor as I could, but I must admit the Seblaine feels kind of took over. Please let me know what you think, I'm curious how many angst lovers are out there vs. fluff lovers! Our Beta Readers, Dori, Thomas and Rose are a mix, which is good for your sakes I think!_

_We look forward to hearing what you liked, didn't like, what your analysis is of the chapter, etc. For example, was there too much painful or boring dialogue at the airport? I was trying to show how they care for each other and how each of them sway back and forth on the decision a bit. Which bits did you find the funniest in this chapter? Were there parts that moved you, touched you, made you upset or sad? What are you most curious about going forward? What would you like to see most going forward (not promises we will make them happen, but they will all be considered!)_

_Thanks again for reading, and for the favoriting, kudos, reviews and comments. Keep them coming, they keep us motivated to keep cranking out this story for you! Thanks!_


	16. Interlude: Link to the Story Soundtrack

Hi everyone,

Enjoy our I'm Gonna Miss You Too soundtrack at Spotify: http://bit.ly/2rOHiRN It's only missing Darren's "Words" and "Goin Back to Hogwarts." Most of the tracks are also on this playlist on You Tube, except Prince and Don Henley: [link](http://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh&feature=em-share_playlist_user): [http://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh&feature=em-share_playlist_user](http://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh&feature=em-share_playlist_user): 

[ ](http://imgur.com/gfJqfIf)

It includes nearly all songs mentioned in the story to date, which is a mix of current pop, 80's tunes, showtunes, and a sprinkling of Motown, She and Him Christmas songs, and blues. So basically the genres are those you hear on Glee, which should be no surprise :).

It is incomplete of course, as the story is still in progress, so this playlist will expand as I continue writing the story. Hope you enjoy it, my hope is that the songs bring you back good memories from the story (roadtrip, San Francisco, karaoke at The Tavern, Christmas Eve with Seb's Nina and Seblaine, New Year's Eve, Blaine's birthday party, etc. etc.).

The only songs missing are the Don Henley tune Seb listened to on his bike ride back to San Francisco, and the Prince songs, all of which you can listen to on spotify [here (Don Henley)](https://play.spotify.com/track/2vny7GArzMVheG4Ovd7Bbk)and [here (Prince)](https://play.spotify.com/user/1213665185/playlist/1jsxiB496NReC81cOKcfAV).

Eventually I'll compile a full Christmas Album from this story as well, but since the season is not upon us, I'll take my time doing that.

Enjoy! Also please review the music of this story - not many of you have commented on it in your reviews! Which songs were your favorites, which felt most fitting to the plot at that point in the story? Any songs you could do without?

Cheers,

TiburonWriter


	17. Emails Again and the Roommate Travel Bug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys return to school and start their love letters again...but Sam and Rob have had enough of their moping. David Warbler (he has no last name in canon so I gave him a meta-surname) helps out the plot and we have the dubious honor of spending a little time with Thomas, the German guy who kicked Sebastian's ass in the triathlon last quarter. Plus we get to hang a little more with Sam's main squeeze, the Asian-Scottish cutie, Mary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hey everyone:_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _Thanks for your patience, sorry this chapter took so long to write. After all the drama and excitement of the last three chapters I guess I needed time to regroup to come up with something still relatively entertaining for you to read after all of that hullabaloo. This chapter sets us up for the next few, hopefully in a fun and sweet way._
> 
> _Hope you like it!_
> 
> Me
> 
> _P.S. Many thanks to beta readers Dori, Rose and Thomas – they keep me honest and are very reassuring, to boot!_
> 
> * * *

Sam closed the door on their flat and leaned against it, throwing his suitcases aside. "If you were a dog your tail would be wagging so hard, man. What are you dying to tell me, dude? You've had that look on your face since I got back from the airport with Mary. So she's gone now, it's okay, you can tell me. It's about Seb, right? What happened after I left your birthday party?"

Blaine flopped on the sofa. "Oh Sam, after the party we got to talking about how lonely and homesick I was in Scotland and he was so wonderful and helped me come around to the right attitude. Then his dad scared me half to death when he came home unexpectedly and was a total jerk to Sebastian. So then Seb and I went for this walk and had this great talk and the next thing I know we had the most romantic and amazing kiss. Then we ran back to the house and we had the hottest sex I've ever had in my life and then we did it all night long, like 8 or 9 times, we didn't even sleep at all!

Blaine blushed and rushed on before Sam could react. "And then in the morning we talked about everything and he told me that sleeping with me meant a lot to him because he cares about me A LOT, but then we talked about how I should be alone for awhile like you and I have been talking about all year. He even said he would wait for me and not date other people, which I don't think is very fair but he didn't care about that and I didn't argue because the idea of him kissing someone else makes me sick to my stomach. I know it's the right thing to do, it's the healthiest thing to do for me, but I still miss him so much, I miss him so much it aches in my chest and I can't help it, it just hurts so much to be away from him."

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey."

Rob gave him an appraising look. "You slept with him, didn't you?"

Sebastian took a beat before looking away. "Yeah."

* * *

_TO: Sebastian Smythe_

_FROM: Blaine Anderson_

_DATE: January 7, 2014_

_SUBJECT: all the latest from your overseas correspondent_

_Dear Seb,_

_So we start our correspondence again, less than a month since your last letter to me during finals. I can't believe how much has happened since then…but I'm not going to dwell on that because it might just make me miss you more and I know how you get when I get too sentimental on you._

_So life is back in full swing here in the venerable halls of the RC. Sam is back in his element, enjoying his life as 'that cool American guy,' surrounded by his art major buddies and the beautiful Mary. They are still dating non-exclusively, which continues to baffle me a bit, but it seems to work for them. I really admire Sam's happy-go-lucky attitude. It's never going to be exactly who I am, but I think I can take a page or two from his book by watching him and infuse my life with more carefree fun._

_Speaking of fun, I think I mentioned to you that Sam and I signed up last quarter to go to the Harry Potter Convention in Orlando during spring break with Sam's pals Liam and Scott. Turns out Liam and Scott can't go anymore so we have two extra passes to the convention. Would you and Rob like to come? Then I could finally meet Rob! I remember you told me Rob owns all of the books and brought them to college with him (which is why it is even more pathetic that you have not read all of them). So I know Rob must have some interest in coming which means you can't make excuses not to ask him. If you don't ask him, I'll just find his name in the Stanford online student directory and email him directly. And if he comes, you'll have to come or else you'll know we will spend all spring break together talking about you behind your back :)_

_Seriously, I know you'd rather rip your arm off than go to a Harry Potter convention, but remember you don't actually have to go to the convention. What if I talked Sam into letting you approve the hotel? That way while we are at sessions, you can hang out by the pool all day and swim, read, nap (I know napping is your favorite vacation pastime), get a massage, workout, whatever. And yes, there are plenty of five star resorts near the convention._

_Please say you'll come! I promise I won't overschedule myself so you and I could spend some time together, too. And then at night we could all go out dancing or go to the movies or stay in and play poker or whatever. What do you say? Please say yes. I know you miss me ;) so just say yes! If you say yes, I will book it and do all the work to get the plane tickets and rental car and everything._

_Ok, what else? Classes started again and I like all my professors. The 'Singing for Musical Theatre' (SMT) class is great, as I thought it would be – the professor is hysterical and is creating a very collaborative and fun atmosphere in there – he's kind of like Mr. Schuester, except funnier. He was looking for team captains and I volunteered to head up my group: we have two altos, three sopranos, three tenors, and a baritone. Our first assignment is to do some Sweeney Todd, it's going to be awesome! Here's my opportunity to show everyone my dark side. I'm sure I seemed like a nerd last quarter to everyone, especially since I wasn't talking to people so much and was so tentative last quarter (and no, I suppose the bowties didn't help). I don't know if it's the new attitude I'm trying to bring into this quarter, the structure / nature of the class because of the professor, or the people in this course, but this class definitely seems like it might be the one to give me a sense of community in school. It's basically RC Glee Club!_

_Dance class is really fun too, I'm looking forward to learning a lot in there. We're going to learn to fake a lot of stuff guys like Jake and you learned in real dance classes growing up. A lot of my classmates from last semester are in there and it was nice to see them. I stuck around class afterwards and asked how people's holidays were – it was a good way to connect with people, hearing about their hometowns and families. I told them about Westerville and Lima, my family and friends (yes I talked about you – I tried not to brag :) ). The best story I heard was about a family that lived in a small apartment buying a Christmas tree too big to fit up the stairs to the living room. Luckily the living room is only one story up, so they were able to hurl the tree straight up outside their balcony and a huge Samoan friend of theirs caught the tree and hauled it over the edge of the railing. They said 2013 will forever been known and the year of the "Christmas Tree Throw up."_

_There were also some new faces in dance class. I guess second term is when some exchange students come every year just for the last two quarters. There are quite a few Americans! I tried to make them feel welcome, since I remember what it was like to be the new kid around. They seemed really grateful. It reminded me of when Jake, Marley and Ryder started in Glee Club at McKinley. It was nice not to be the greenest one in the room anymore. Some of them were also in my play reading course, which seems interesting so far, too. We're of course starting with some Shakespeare. That's my favorite part of being in the UK so far, getting to learn Shakespeare from the Brits!_

_So all and all, the first two days here have been just fine. I'm trying my hardest to do what we talked about – putting myself out there – not just at school but in the international dorm as well. It was nice to see everyone again after being away for Christmas. I've tried to spend some quality time with a few of them since we all got back._

_But I'll admit that it's all pretty tiring. Maybe I'm just jetlagged, but I can't help but think it was so much easier to be home in Ohio with my mom cooking and all of our old friends around, and of course everything was easier when I got to be with you everyday. I still miss you terribly but will soldier on. I'm sure all this effort will pay off. I still think we're doing the right thing, but it's okay to miss seeing my best friend everyday and every night, right?_

_Shall we pick up with the Saturday skype calls again? Are your Saturday afternoons still free? Not sure how your Lacrosse practice schedule looks like now that the season is upon you? Look forward to hearing how things are going on your end._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

_P.S. Your picture frame has a place of honor on my bureau here. Mary just came by while I was finishing this email and she, like everyone else who has come by and seen it, asked if you're my boyfriend. I have to say no, that you're just my best friend. I want to add, 'for now' and set my facebook relationship status to "it's complicated," but I guess I shouldn't if I truly want to be living and breathing this "on my own" period of my life. All the same I know you're waiting for me and I want you to know that I appreciate it and that in my heart I'm waiting for "us," too - as patiently as I can._

_Okay, I'm really going now. Talk soon. XOXO_

* * *

_TO: Blaine Anderson_

_FROM: Sebastian Smythe_

_DATE: January 7, 2014_

_SUBJECT: Re: all the latest from your overseas correspondent_

_Hey you,_

_Thanks for the update. It's always entertaining to hear about all that is Scottish and Blam-ish (Did Sam cut his hair yet? Tell him he'd better or his girl is going to dump him). It sounds like you're doing exactly what you planned in terms of getting out there and sharing the magic that is Blaine Anderson. I know it can be exhausting - it was exhausting last quarter and continues to be for me, too. At least you're an extrovert._

_Anyway, I'm sure it will get easier as your jetlag wears off, and I'm sure your efforts will pay off very quickly. It sounds like it already is with your dance class friends. You're an irresistible thing, so mark my words, if you keep up your efforts you will be fighting off people who want to "personally connect" with you in two weeks or less._

_I know the next thing you're going to want a reaction to is your nerd meet-up spring break idea. I'll give you the unsatisfactory (to you) "maybe, I'll think about it" answer. It's just that the lacrosse guys want to go to Palm Springs and I told them I'd probably go since you and Sam were going to be at that dork fest. Thomas will give me a hard time if I back out, because I ditched his Yosemite weekend last quarter to study for my engineering midterm. Plus I'll admit I don't relish the idea of being stuck with alligators and old people while you guys are geeking out. But I'll consider it, 'cause how else will I get my Blaine-fix? But I'd prefer it if I just flew in right before or right after your festival of freaks happens. That way we can hang for the weekend together, rather than over several successive nights where I have to spend half the time watching you scrub off whatever weird costume makeup you and Sam decide to paint on. Jesus, I just reread that last sentence and I'm finding it hard to fathom why I am even considering a yes answer. If that's not a sign of how much I miss you, I don't know what would be._

_So send me the list of hotels with availability near your Wizard Fanboy Meeting and I'll have a look as I deliberate my decision. And don't bother including any Disney hotels - I flat out refuse to stay anywhere with mouse-ears on the shampoo bottles._

_Your RC glee club sounds like it's just what the doctor ordered (Dr. Smythe, that is. That does have a certain ring to it, maybe I should switch my major). I knew singing regularly again would help you. Especially Broadway stuff, I know that makes you squinty-eyed and happy. I'm envious, actually. Mixed Company only rehearses a couple of times a week and half the time it's me getting everyone's asses into gear to learn choreography. You know dancing is my thing, but teaching has never been. I lack the patience, obviously. I nearly ripped this other freshman Nate's head off yesterday. He's got a kickass voice but two left feet and is so slow on the uptake I'm tempted to tell the admissions office they screwed up in their decision. This girl Karen, one of the best freshman girl singers, pulled me outside to cool off. I swear she is the only reason Nate was not injured that day._

_At least the girls can pick up moves much faster than half the Warblers ever could. Well, all the girls except one chunky diva who has a voice that brings the house down. She is the only girl I have no idea what to do with. So yeah, don't tell Nick and company, but overall girls Warblers for sure, when it comes to dancing. Well, except when the Warblers were jacked up on steroids right before Sectionals senior year. Then they were like a Chinese acrobat act - it was awesome. Ok sorry, I know you don't think it was awesome at all so let's go back to pretending that never happened._

_Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I'm envious you are singing so often, between your smaller group rehearsals and in class. There is nothing like being able to belt out a song or two to clear out any murkiness in your life. I guess I will have to learn how to sing in the shower like you. Hmmmm… if only you were here to join me and give me private lessons. You did prove to have many incredibly satisfactory skills in the shower after our talk at the lake._

_Okay, I was just wondering if I should delete the last couple of sentences above. I leave them in to ask you about them instead. What are our current rules of engagement when it comes to making sexy jokes? Because you know that was part of my M.O. before your whole engagement/wedding thing. Then during your post-almost-wedding period I also refrained, so I could be more comforting to you. But now that you have begun to bounce back, am I allowed to have my fun in our email letters? Or am I being insensitive to how hard it can be in our current waiting-to-be-boyfriends-state? Please say I can make my little innuendos…because now that I have, shall we say, more intimate knowledge of you, I have so much fantastic material to draw from. It would be a shame not to get to use all that richness._

_That being said, I feel like I might be hearkening back to when I made you cry at the airport (sorry about that again). Would all this make you miss me (and sex) a painful amount? Do you now think I'm a total skeevy asshole for even asking all this? If so, please forgive me. It's just I think Sebastian Smythe without innuendo is a little...boring, no?_

_And if you look at it critically (my history and lit professors would be so proud), my jokes are really just methods of flirting with you. So the real question is, am I allowed to flirt with you while we are "just friends?" You used to let me do it when we were in high school, but now that we've slept together and have this back burner situation going on, does that change things? My opinion is no - because right now the idea is for you to feel free as a bird with no boyfriend obligations or concerns. So as long as you don't consider me your boyfriend, everything else goes. As long as we're not sleeping together and we're not rhapsodizing about how dreamy we find each other, we're good. I go back to being your inappropriately flirtatious friend. Yes?_

_Okay, that took way more room in this letter than it probably should have. But I'm too lazy to go and edit it. But let me know what you think, and if you are finding me totally abhorrent, accept my apologies and please believe me when I say I could, if asked to, definitely keep these letters PG._

_Moving on. Well, it's been an adjustment these last two days, getting back to life here at the Farm. In case I haven't explained before, everyone here calls this place the Farm because Leland Stanford's farm was here before the campus was built. I go with it, though I think it's kind of odd. But Stanford's odd, I've come to accept that._

_Anyway, we're only a day and half in, but so far classes feel a bit less tricky this quarter. Rob says (in his dry way) that it's because we are big men on campus now, having survived fall quarter. I think it's because I got the MC and lacrosse team recommendations on which professors and courses are best. My schedule is more haywire, but I'd rather have random holes in my calendar with better professors than a neatly aligned calendar with confusing, obnoxious and/or stupid professors. And after a day and a half I'm finding that the recs are delivering. The profs I have for physics, writing, and econ seem to be of better quality than I had last quarter._

_I think I mentioned to you that the last course I'm taking is that ethics course called "Rules of War" that fulfills this esoteric/liberal arts/critical thinking "THINK" general ed requirement. It wasn't recommended by the lacrosse/MC kids but I got lucky because Professor Gomez seems pretty badass. Yesterday was the first day and she walked up and down the aisles looking like she was combing the rows for students who were hungry for what she was going to be throwing at us._

_Rob and Thomas (by some miracle the timing worked out for all three of us to take the class together) were busy taking notes, but I made eye contact with her and she paused for a second to give me a challenging look. Then at the end of class she did a very unusual thing for a prof, she stood by the door as we all filed out. When I was passing her I nodded at her and she said, "I hope this is course on WAR is going to be amusing enough for you, Smirky." I said, "It's actually Sebastian Smythe," and I stopped to shake her hand. Thomas then had the gall to say, "Because Smith would be too banal."_

_She looked at all three of us and said, "Oh, you three have now earned assigned seats in the front row where I can keep an eye on you." Then she smirked. This class is either going to be kick-ass or she's going to eat us alive. Should be entertaining to see which. Rob told me he's going to pretend he doesn't know me._

_Besides classes, lacrosse will also be taking up a ton of energy this quarter. I may have to drop triathlon training, though I'll get a lot of shit from Thomas if I do. You might recall I was the one who got him to join the Tri Club, and now he's gotten fanatical about it, subscribing to magazines and blogs, looking at training regimens to do an Ironman (a full marathon 26.2 miles, plus 2.4 mile swim and a 112 mile bike ride) - something that makes me sleepy just thinking about._

_Thomas is on the lacrosse team, too - but he's 2nd string so the expectations are lower for him. Plus he's a friggin geology major, which is referred to by everyone as "rocks for jocks" – it's got a reputation as the easiest major on campus. And Thomas doesn't have a dad like mine breathing down his neck, and he doesn't have any plans for graduate school, so he doesn't care what grades he gets._

_Lacrosse practices are at 7AM everyday and then my schedule takes off like a blur. I wish you were here to drag me out of bed in the morning and take me along your madcap way, as you did all through vacation. It was so much easier when I had my bashful schoolboy social secretary to take care of me. Next time I'm just going to smuggle you into a pet carrier and hide you in my bedroom closet. Then you could make sure I don't arrive three minutes late, as I did today, to lacrosse practice. Coach Virk told me if I did again I'd be off first string and that every other freshman after me would blame me for him creating a rule to not have freshmen on the first string due to lack of maturity. It's like he's related to my father._

_Too bad I couldn't blame jetlag. I almost explained that I stayed up all night having the best sex of my life just three nights prior and that I am still catching up on my sleep, but I figured that might not go over too well, either._

_Alright, I'd better get going, class in 10 minutes. I hope I don't fall asleep in class. I seriously do need to catch up on sleep this weekend because I'm exhausted and it's only the midafternoon. I wish your mom was here to tuck me in for a nap. Or better yet, my mom. I kinda missed seeing her at Christmas. Actually what I really wish is that you were here to tuck me in, and then after you finished playing video games with Sam out in the living room, you would get into bed with me. But then you know what would happen...round 1, 2, 3...etc. etc. Then I'd be too tired for practice tomorrow. But I wouldn't give a shit about that. If you were here at Stanford I'd probably just quit lacrosse and stay in bed with you every morning. I'd get plenty of cardio that way..._

_As you can see, I'm going to continue to be inappropriate until you tell me to do otherwise. Au revoir. If you get too busy to write another email during this week, I'll assume our old time of 2PM Pacific, 10PM Edinburgh time for our Saturday Skype._

_Yours,_

_Seb_

* * *

"Oh my god. DUDE."

Blaine looked up from his guitar to see Sam standing in the doorway and Mary peeking over his shoulder into Blaine's bedroom.

"What?" Blaine asked.

"I can't believe you're watching Titanic on mute WHILE you write weepy songs about Sebastian AND eat that pie he had sent to you all the way from Westerville. You're gonna have to turn in your man-card."

Blaine blushed and floundered. "I'm not…"

"Dude, the pie (which is GREAT pie, you need to leave me some) is RIGHT there. And you are writing like a weepfest of a melody. What else could be the inspiration for that? We're playing poker out there," he gestured towards the living room, "and I had to tell the guys I got dust in my eye."

Blaine looked apologetic. "I'm sorry I'm so loud. It's too cold to go all the way to the piano practice rooms at school. And those rooms are like freezing horse stalls anyway and have horribly out of tune pianos. So I'm stuck composing on guitar here. Maybe I can go over to Liam and Scott's place, since they're here." He stood up dejectedly.

Mary moved Sam aside and came into the room to intervene. "That's tosh. Sam, why are you miffed? Don't kick him out of his own flat." She gently gestured for Blaine to sit, then sat down beside him on the bed. "That song sounds like it's shaping up to be quite nice."

Sam folded his arms. "Mary, you don't understand. I know I look like the bad guy here, but you gotta know I've been very understanding of Blaine and his mopey-ness ever since we got back. But it's like he saves it up all day to unleash it here at night. I mean Blaine, it's great that you're putting yourself out there more and hanging out with more people, even hanging at the pub more. But then you come home and pour out all your sadness every night here! So it's not like you've reduced the amount of gloomy Seb-feelings you have, you've just moved it from a steady stream all day to a big lump here at night. We gotta do something, it's been a full week of this."

Blaine's lips were pursed and he looked hurt. "Sam, I'm really trying…"

Mary gave Sam a dirty look and put her arm around Blaine. "Of course you are. And we're all here for you. Don't listen to Sam…"

Blaine squeezed her hand and stood up. "No, he's right. I have to do something else to break out of this cycle. I miss Sebastian, and while I think that's okay…"

"Well sure it's okay to miss him…" Sam looked contrite.

Blaine continued, gathering courage. "I can't dwell on it, whether it's during the day or at night here. I need to move forward and not rely on him for my comfort or my happiness."

Sam said, "Well we're here to comfort you and help you get your happy on." He unmuted the TV and shouted along with Leo: "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

Blaine and Mary laughed at him.

"I don't think a boat trip with Leo is going to do it, Sammy," Mary smiled. "But…" She looked thoughtful again.

"What?" Sam looked at her eagerly. He said in an aside to Blaine, "Isn't she great? She's not just hot, she's smart, too."

Blaine smiled and nodded.

Mary said, "Well the last time I was getting over a break-up, a mini-break helped knock my head on straight."

Sam looked confused.

"A mini-break is a British expression for a weekend getaway," Blaine said. "I learned that from 'Bridget Jones' Diary.'"

"Oh, okay – that's awesome! Yes, ROAD TRIP!" Sam said excitedly. Then he paused. "Oh wait a minute. The last road trip you went on was with Sebastian, though."

"Sebastian..." Mary repeated his name thoughtfully. "I know I'm going to sound terribly British, but I should warn you to never date a Frenchman – they can be romantic, but tend to be so unreliable ."

Blaine laughed. "He's not French, he was born in Ohio. He just has some French family and his mom lives in Paris. And Sam, don't worry, being on a road trip is not going to conjure up too many memories of Seb that will make me miss him too much. If anything, my memories from our roadtrip to San Francisco last year were really annoying. Remember what a jerk he was being?"

Mary laughed, "Oh boy, Sam wasn't kidding – you have it bad for this almost-boyfriend of yours. You're remembering him acting like a jerk and still smiling about it."

Blaine blushed, "Well he was being a jerk because he was having trouble saying goodbye to me. We were dropping him off at university. He's got a few…issues, when it comes to goodbyes," he laughed.

Mary chuckled, "Ducky, you're not supposed to find a guy with 'issues' endearing. If you were Bridget Jones, I'd say you were falling in arse over tit with Daniel Cleaver." She walked over to the bureau to pick up the Tiffany frame. "He's fit though, so I guess I can understand it," she said, biting her lip.

Sam pouted, "Hey now…didn't you tell me that 'fit' means 'hot' in British?"

Mary turned to him and put her arms around him, "Not hotter than you, love."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Okay, let's focus. First, let's decide where to go!"

Liam appeared in the doorway. "Finland!"

Sam, Mary and Blaine looked at him with puzzled smiles.

"I don't know what you're talking about but I heard that you need to decide where to go. I took a shot!" Liam chortled. Scott and their other friends appeared in the hallway behind Liam, laughing at his bravado.

"We're going on a mini-break and you're all invited!" Mary said, grinning and sitting on the bed with Blaine again. "So we have to pick a spot close enough to just go for the weekend. But somewhere where we can still get hotel rooms or hostel spots with only a few days notice."

"Wait, you want to go THIS weekend?" Blaine asked. "I don't know about that. I have a lot of homework and I was going to start rehearsing my singing group early for this week's assignment because "Company" has such a beast of a libretto."

Sam looked at him and wrinkled his brow. "Just, no! You just said you want to break the cycle of mopey-ness. We need to do it now before you lose momentum and stop gelling on the weekends!"

Blaine was still not entirely convinced. "I don't know, I was also going to do some songwriting this weekend. And this weekend is the Cary Grant marathon on Sky. Seb and I were going to watch a couple of the movies while on Skype together on Sunday." Blaine realized how stupid it sounded as soon as it came out of his mouth.

Liam distracted from his embarrassing statement. He had been scrolling through the music on Blaine's Ipad and looked up, grinning. "You have the most extensive karaoke collection I've ever seen!"

Sam's eyes lit up. "He does!" He grabbed the Ipad from Liam. "You guys should know that one of Blaine's deepest, darkest secrets is the fact that one of his guilty pleasures is…" He found a song and gave a little jump. "WHAM!"

"Sam!" Blaine blushed.

"There's no shame in it here, Blaine!" Sam smiled, jumping up to stand on the bed behind him and Mary. "The Wham guys were British! They all love him here!" He morphed into his cheesiest announcer's voice. "And the Wham guys love you, Blaine Anderson…Mr. George Michael," he pointed to himself as he picked up a tube of lotion from Blaine's desk, "and Mr. Andrew Ridgley," he threw a hairgel microphone at Liam, "are here to warmly invite you to a weekend getaway to the nearest beach town we can find…"

By this time Scott and the others from the living room had crowded into the room or were peeking in from the hallway. Sam dug Blaine's sunglasses out of his desk drawer, put them on and broke into his most dramatic showface while starting to dance on Blaine's desk chair.

The song's opening bars, including crowd noise sound effects, were enhanced by the RC students milling around the small room and hallway. Mary stood up on the bed and encouraged their friends to dance while Blaine sat at the foot of the bed, shaking his head at Sam and smiling in spite of himself.

Sam broke into the opening lines with a bodyroll:

[youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=0YGhqh9CTSs]

_Let me take you to the place_

_Where membership's a smiling face,_

_Brush shoulders with the stars._

_Where strangers take you by the hand,_

_And welcome you to wonderland -_

_From beneath their panamas..._

Sam hopped over and up to dance with Mary on the bed, swaying to the beat.

_Club Tropicana, drinks are free,_

_Fun and sunshine - there's enough for everyone._

_All that's missing is the sea,_

_But don't worry, you can suntan!_

Liam took the next line with surprising vocal dexterity, standing on Blaine's nightstand:

_Castaways and Lovers meet,_

_Then kiss in Tropicana's heat,_

_Watch the waves break on the bay._

_Soft white sands, a blue lagoon,_

_Cocktail time, a summer's tune,_

_A whole night's holiday!_

Mary grabbed Blaine by the hand and pulled him up on to the bed - he couldn't resist dancing with her to his beloved Wham! for the small audience of friends.

_Club Tropicana, drinks are free,_

_Fun and sunshine - there's enough for everyone._

_All that's missing is the sea,_

_But don't worry, you can suntan!_

Sam leaned his back against Blaine and did another body roll before jumping up and down the mattress until Blaine and Mary jumped off for fear of being bounced off.

_Pack your bags,_

_And leave tonight._

_Don't take your time,_

_Gotta move your feet, don't you miss the flight!_

_Cool, cool, cool, cool_

"So are we going or not?" Sam shouted breathlessly as the song petered out.

"YES!" Blaine panted, and the room erupted in appreciative shouts.

* * *

It was Sunday afternoon when Sebastian answered a call from the dorm security desk and was surprised to find a smiling David in the lobby.

"Warbler Gold." Sebastian smiled and gripped his hand. It was good to see someone from home. "What brings you, man?"

"Just thought this campus could use a little Berkeley blood to stir things up," David replied with his warm smile, bringing Sebastian in for a hug.

Sebastian pulled away with a fond nod, but then he wrinkled his brow for a moment and then narrowed his eyes. "Oh hell…Nick sent you, didn't he? He was fussing on the phone last week."

David nodded and smiled back at him. "Guilty as charged," he replied as they headed upstairs to Sebastian's room. "Don't give him grief, Seb. He's just being Nick: worried, meddling…sweet . He said you've been reaching out to him more since you got back to school this quarter and he's sure that it's the third sign of the apocalypse. So he told me to come out and check up on you. What gives?"

Sebastian shook his head as he strode down the hallway. "Duvall is seriously this brother's keeper. Doesn't that girlfriend keep him busy enough?" He paused to think. "I guess I may have called him about going to LA this quarter to get more So Cal sun and catch a Clippers game. And I called him to pick his brain on NCAA basketball picks for the dorm pool…but hell if I can remember why else I've been calling. I assure you that none of my calls have been to ask him to talk me off a ledge."

David chuckled as they opened the door to the dorm suite. A smile spread over his face when he recognized Blaine's voice singing through Sebastian's Bose speakers. "What is this? Is this Blaine?"

Sebastian nodded. "He wrote this song last quarter at school, if you can you believe it."

_'Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you_

_And you know it's true_

_It don't matter what'll come to be_

_Our love is all we need to make it through..._

"Man, this is a great song." David put his bag down on the sofa. "Well this saves me time…'cause Blaine is exactly what Nick wanted me to ask you about. He knew if he asked on the phone directly, you'd just hang up on him or something. So he sent me." He settled down on the sofa and smiled his soft smile. "It's harder to kick me off your sofa than it is to hang up on him, right?"

Sebastian smirked as he sat down in his armchair. "Yeah, you have put on some muscle since our Dalton days so that might be a taller order than it used to be." He continued casually, "You just working out more, or are you playing tennis again? I didn't get to ask you about that when you were here for the Big Game or over break."

"Don't change the subject," David said, raising his eyebrows and giving Sebastian another gentle smile. "Seriously, are you and Blaine doing okay? Everyone assumed you're official now, after that New Year's kiss, even though you didn't answer a single Warbler's text about it. But then you started calling Nick more and he says you've been vague? Did you break up already?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Is nothing sacred?"

"Once a Warbler, always a Warbler…which means your business is everyone's business, Captain," laughed David.

Sebastian took a deep breath. "It's just a long story, bro. But if you must, you can just tell everyone we were never official, nor are we now."

David's eyes were kind. "Okay. Enough said. At least for the record." Then he leaned forward to ask with gentle concern, "But between you and me. Are you okay?"

Sebastian met his eyes briefly, then looked away and paused. He finally spoke slowly. "I'm fine. We're just putting everything on hold 'til Blaine gets more completely back on his feet." He stood up and went to look out the window. "The whole cheating/engagement thing really took him for a spin…he's still…I don't know, processing it. Learning from it. I don't know what a shrink would call it, but what it adds up to is that we decided to actually talk less than we did last quarter." A look of remorse only flashed briefly across his face, but David didn't miss it, even in profile. "We're just giving him some space…which is a good thing."

If David wasn't as perceptive as he was, he might have believed Sebastian. But he nodded gravely and appraised Sebastian with keen eyes. "That sounds reasonable," he said.

There was a pounding at the door. "SMYTHE!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes at David. " That's my crazy German neighbor from upstairs - one of the goalies from the lacrosse team. He's amusing 70% of the time, obnoxious 30% of the time. Loud, 100% of the time. " He opened the door.

A keyed-up Thomas said noisily, "Smirk-meister! Get ready for the best news of your day, you now will have the SPECTACULAR experience of…"

Sebastian jerked his thumb behind him. "Tommy boy, I've got company – come back later."

Thomas looked past him at David, then ducked under Sebastian's arm before he could be barred more effectively from the room. "Hey man! Hello, I'm Thomas."

David stood up to shake his hand in his polite manner. "David Jett. Sebastian and I went to high school together."

"Ahhh…" Thomas said, rubbing his palms together as he came to sit next to David on the sofa. "Excellent, a source of information on Herr Smythe's past! I have many questions for you about Sebastian. I have a theory that he was born in a test tube in an attempt to achieve genetic perfection, but something went wrong and his chin turned out like that and the legs came out too freakishly long. Did you ever meet either of his parents in person while you were in boarding school? Or if you did, did they look anything like him?"

Sebastian shook his head with a chuckle. "There's nothing wrong with my chin, Tommy-boy." He turned to David. "Don't mind him, DJ. He sometimes has beer for breakfast. And lunch. And for high tea. It's a German thing. I think he's a little drunk."

David laughed. "Well the Dalton guys are interested in how Seb is _really_ doing here at Stanford, so maybe you can give me the down low as well, so I can get Seb's boarding school friend Nick off my back."

Sebastian shrugged in resignation and flopped back into his chair. "Well, you two can gossip like magpies about me all you want. I'll be over here. I was just going to turn on the game." He turned off Blaine's CD and turned on the television. "But hey Müller, did you come bearing news of some kind?"

Thomas looked at him blankly for a second, then remembered. "Right, yes! I found out from the saucy little wench of an RA that there ARE still slots on the ski trip. So I'll be able to go with you and Rob this weekend after all and you can see my superior ski skills!" He spoke with David conspiratorially. "You see, it is my responsibility to the Stanford freshman class to keep young Sebastian humble by continuing to outperform him in every athletic pursuit."

"You outperformed me in ONE athletic pursuit – the triathlon," Sebastian said dryly. "And you would be no match for me on the slopes, Thomas – I've been out on the Swiss Alps, Whistler, Vail and Snowbird every winter since I was four."

"You see this arrogance!" Thomas said to David, who smiled in amusement in response. "I cannot wait to bury you and shame you in Tahoe."

Sebastian glanced over at him. "Well you can maintain your fantasy a bit longer because I've decided not to go this weekend. If you haven't given Susie your money, you can have my spot."

"Why aren't you going?" Thomas demanded. "And don't tell me it's to Skype that little Muppet in Scotland."

David raised his eyebrows.

Sebastian looked at Thomas with boredom. "We have double practices this week and my physics homework is going to be steep this week - so I'd rather chill out here than be trapped in a car with you for six hours each way to Tahoe."

Thomas retorted, "You can chill out in the car, Rob's driving - you know he won't let you drive with the way you gun the motor."

"I cannot chill while cramped up in Rob's car. And during lacrosse season I bet Virk doesn't want us doing death defying sports like skiing. If I broke my leg he'd come and break the other leg for me."

"AH HA! More proof that you are a poor skier. I would never break my leg!"

David laughed. "Virk's your coach?"

Sebastian nodded. "And if I'm not skiing, then what's the point? I hate the snow otherwise."

"You just came back from snow and you said you had an excellent vacation!" Thomas said.

"The snow had nothing to do with the excellence." Sebastian's mind flashed to Blaine pressed up against his front door.

Thomas was vehement. "You don't even have to go outside, you can hang out by the fire with hot rum, beers and your precious scotch! All the freshman dorms organized to take over half the mountain! You have to represent Roble Hall with us. And that good looking gay baseball player...what's his name...Jay...from Stern Hall asked me if you're coming…"

Sebastian shrugged. "I also want to stick around because Mixed Company's snagged some last minute tickets to Book of Mormon in the city."

"And you absolutely cannot ditch us to go see a musical. It is no contest. There's going to be so much booze flowing after the RAs go to bed that I bet some of the straight guys around here would be willing to experiment with you! And of course that Jay is a strapping young fellow. There are going to hot tubs and hedonism everywhere, that wins over some musical and your little non-boyfriend on your laptop!"

Sebastian opened his mouth to say something else, when the door opened and Rob walked in.

"Hey," Sebastian said, glad to see his roommate in hopes of redirecting the conversation.

"Hey," Rob said, looking at his phone as he toed off his sneakers. He looked up and saw David. "Oh hey, man! What are you doing here?" He came over to pat David's shoulder in greeting.

"Was just in the neighborhood," David answered, winking at Sebastian. "I…"

"ROB!" Thomas interrupted. "Tell Seb he has to come on the ski trip this weekend. He wants to abandon us for a some religion musical."

Rob gave Sebastian a questioning look.

Sebastian shrugged again. "MC got some tickets for Book of Mormon. And we have double practices all week for lacrosse. And I'm going to have a shitload of homework. So I'm going to be too beat to deal with a roadtrip."

Rob raised his eyebrows. "Seb come into my room real quick, I want to show you something."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him but got up and followed him into the bedroom.

"What?"

Rob threw his backpack on the bed. "Please come to Tahoe with me."

Sebastian shook his head, "No man, I told you I'm just not up for it."

"Thomas texted me that he's coming. Please don't leave me alone with that maniac."

"You don't have to hang out with him. Roger and those guys are going from upstairs."

"But you know Thomas will find me. We are nicer to him than anyone else around here, which I now kinda regret."

Sebastian looked a little guilty and twisted his mouth at Rob's pleading eyes.

"Look, I'm only going to ask you once. And because I think I am a low maintenance roommate and friend who doesn't ask for much, I am hoping you will consider my request. I've been looking forward to skiing. Thomas or not, I will have a much better time if you go. It will be like Santa Cruz last quarter."

Sebastian hated it sometimes when Rob looked like that. So friggin' reasonable.

"And I would think you would want to go, not so much for me, but to shake up your routine a little."

"What's exactly is wrong with my routine?" Sebastian arched an eyebrow.

"Don't make me say it," Rob said quietly, pulling off his sweatshirt.

Sebastian folded his arms and gave him a threatening look.

"Oh, who are you trying to intimidate?" Rob chuckled, leaning up against his dresser. "I saw you plow through that box of my mom's cookies when we got back from the airport."

Sebastian said nothing, just waited for more.

"Fine," Rob was calm. "What's wrong with your routine? Let's start with the fact that you wore that hoodie Blaine gave you every night last week until you got pasta sauce on it yesterday."

"It's comfortable." Sebastian retorted.

"And It feels like you've had Blaine's CD on repeat all week since we got back from the holidays."

"That's not true."

"Okay maybe not, but I was saying it FEELS like you've had Blaine's CD on repeat."

Sebastian took a deep breath and walked over to look out Rob's window. "Fuck, you make me sound like a chick-flick."

Rob came over to stand next to him. "Hey, it's all good, you just miss him. I missed my ex big time after we broke up. Of course you miss him, after you slept together and what you two decided. And remember, if it works for you, I'm not judging. But it might be time for a little change. While you're waiting for Blaine to get to a better place, don't put your life on hold. I'm sure he wants you to have some fun."

"I have fun." Sebastian said darkly.

Rob refrained from pointing out the contrast between the statement and Sebastian's tone. "Yes, you've been to a couple of parties, but this is going to be another level of awesome. It's going to be beautiful in Tahoe; Thomas will be amusing if I'm there to listen to you make fun of him." Rob looked thoughtful for a moment. "And hey, why don't we ask if David wants to come along?"

Sebastian didn't object to the idea.

"He and I can shield you from Thomas or anyone else when you don't want to deal. I can tell you're not in the mood to be around a lot of people all the time right now. That's what makes this so perfect – it's a chance to get away and be around everyone, around a good vibe, but the key is you'll be skiing and snowboarding all day, which means you don't _have_ to talk to anyone. David or I'll sit on every ski lift with you, if you want. Then at night we can have some laughs or hole up in our room and chill if you want. We can even Skype Blaine. I just think you could use a change of environment. I know I want to getaway before the quarter heats up with midterms and stuff."

"My physics has already heated up…"

"You'll have plenty of time for that this week and the week after. Just think of how much time you've freed up not writing as many long emails to Blaine. More than half the time you spent last quarter holding his hand, supporting his every move? You have that time back. You're doing the right thing, giving him room to stretch a bit and not get too wrapped up in you. But where does that leave you? For you, now what?"

Then they heard music from the living room "Now…he gets to live a little!" Thomas was smirking in the doorway. Thomas began to lipsync and strut some ridiculous dance moves.

_[youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=zsymCa7BHIA]_

_Low rider knows every street, yeah_

_Low rider is the one to meet, yeah_

_Low rider don't use no gas now_

_Low rider don't drive too fast_

Rob surprised Sebastian by putting his hands on his roommate's shoulders and very quietly singing into his ear:

_Take a little trip, take a little trip_

_Take a little trip and see_

Sebastian rolled his eyes but could not repress a smile as he shrugged Rob off of him and observed his absurd teammate.

David appeared in the doorway as the dancing Thomas went over to prod Sebastian into dancing. "Your dorm is definitely more entertaining than Berkeley on a Sunday afternoon."

"Get me a transfer to Berkeley," Sebastian said, going over to hide behind him.

David laughed and turned around to clap Sebastian on the back. "Don't let them hear you say that around here, son." He raised his eyebrows. "I'm not sure you're the Berkeley type, but your buddy here," he pointed at Thomas, " wants me to try on some Stanford shoes for size. He's been bugging me to join you guys in Tahoe." He raised his eyebrows at Sebastian. "I could _really_ use the change of pace since I got 'friend-zoned' by that girl last week. But I'll only come of course, if you change your mind and come, Captain."

Thomas whined, "Herr Smythe, you must do this for your good friend David! He needs mountain air to revive his broken heart!"

Sebastian looked at Rob, who shrugged and said, "I told you I'm only asking you once."

Sebastian finally held his hands up in the air in surrender. "Fine."

Thomas did a cartwheel into the hall. "I'll tell young Jay over in Stern!"

* * *

_So there you go! Please review and let us know what you liked the best, if anything didn't work for you! Fairly important to me is what you think of how realistic the interactions of Seb and David Warbler are, as well as what you thought about the appearances of Mary (Sam's girlfriend) and another original character, Thomas. He was mentioned way back in Seb's fall quarter correspondence, but he is joining the fray a bit more actively this quarter. Rob was received well by everyone, hope this clown fares as well with you. He's obnoxious, but he's pretty harmless and somewhere in there he cares about Seb._

_Hopefully all these characters are easy enough to track? What are you hoping to see next (no promises I can do it, but I will consider it!)_

_Well I hope the next chapter won't take as long to get up, I've already draft a chunk of it._


	18. Letting People In; Matthew; On Top of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road trip fun with our boys, this time on separate continents! David is back again, in an even more important role, and we get a good chunk of Blam for all you Blam fans ("Warbler Wes," I'm talking to you). We also run into a handsome young thing in Scotland, played by another Gossip Girl alum, Penn Badgley. But don't worry, there's a bit of Seblaine to keep you guys happy. Enjoy! Review!

  
TO: Blaine Anderson  
FROM: Sebastian Smythe  
DATE: January 12, 2014  
SUBJECT: next Sat 1/18 call

Hey Killer,

Sorry to do this, but I have to take a raincheck on the Cary Grant session Saturday. I decided to go to Tahoe after all. Rob really wants me to go to protect him from Sir Thomas Loud-a-lot. Plus David Jett came by for a visit and he wants to go with us – I guess some chick friend-zoned him so he's licking his wounds and could use a weekend getaway. On top of that, Tommy was yammering incessantly and I didn't have the energy to shut him up in any other way - so I caved.

I'll probably regret it – it's going to be Animal House every night with alcohol flowing and everyone sore from skiing all day. I hear there are multiple huge hot tubs at this resort. That'll be a recipe for disgusting het-PDA everywhere I turn. If only you were coming, you could make a few political statements with me. We could demonstrate to these children how the gays are not only unafraid of PDA but can also show up their pathetically sloppy, blind groping exhibitions.

Surely if you were here you would be willing to contribute your considerable skills in this arena for such a good cause? Because I would take great pleasure in engaging your lips, that ass and the rest of you to floor my predominately lily-white, nerd classmates with our insanely smokin' version of what a hook-up should really look like. Imagine it: you and me, shirtless at a minimum, dripping as we kiss each other all over, rising to stand in the middle of a hot tub; the snowy Sierra Nevada mountains as a backdrop; the steam rising as the virgin faces grow shocked; all the girls turned on with wide smiles; the boys who are still questioning their sexuality try to discreetly palm themselves; and the meathead jock types completely disgusted. Mmmm...politically correct, hot exhibitionism. Pack your bags, Anderson – we have work to do.

Ok, I know you told me not to get too carried away with my sexy jokes, so I'll stop there - though the scenario above doesn't have to be a joke…

ANYWAY, ski reports say that there will be some good powder, so even if the evenings may well be crap, I'm psyched about getting some ski adrenaline going - homework be damned. As Rob says, the timing is only going to be worse the later in the quarter we get...and who knows how long snow lasts in California.

I hear the resort we'll be at doesn't get very good cell coverage, so a video call might be out unless I can get back to my room in time before you go to bed. We can still try, if I'm not online for a call you can try to Skype text me at 2PM PT/ 10 PM GMT? Also I may Skype text you randomly in the morning if I'm bored on a ski lift or if Thomas is doing anything particularly entertaining.

Anyway, at a minimum I'll email you more later this week – not much more has happened since our Skype yesterday. Last night's lacrosse party was mildly amusing: beer pong, quarters, watching our buddy Charlie try to make inroads with an iceberg of a girl named Lana. Thomas and I drank everyone under the table as usual. Charlie thinks I have a hollow leg.

Well, I should be going – haven't done half my reading for tomorrow. Sorry again about postponing the Cary Grant thing. If I want to see what dapper looks like, I only have to remember you in your Dalton blazer on your birthday. And I mean during your performance, not when you wore it with your tie and without a shirt in bed – because that was less Cary Grant and more Magic Mike, wasn't it? Magic Mike the bashful schoolboy, that is.

But I digress again. To make up for it, tell me which CG movies you want to watch and I'll get the Blu-Rays and ship them to you so we can watch them "together" any other night you want.

Yours,

Seb

* * *

  
TO: Sebastian Smythe  
FROM: Blaine Anderson  
DATE: January 12, 2014  
SUBJECT: Re: next Sat 1/18 call

Seb,

First of all, thank you for making me laugh so hard with your PDA exhibition scenario that I spilled hot chocolate all over my pajama bottoms – so much that I had to get out of them before I could finish reading your email. Didn't you say once that we represent Dalton on every occasion? Can you imagine the headmaster at your Tahoe resort PDA? You are hilarious and a completely disgraceful representative of our esteemed alma mater.

But you are a credit to your current writing teacher - that was quite a picture you painted with your words. I know you would want to know that I was blushing.

No problem about Saturday – it actually works out because I just got persuaded into going on a trip myself this weekend – to some unnamed beach town Sam and Mary are going to research. I wanted to focus on homework this weekend, but Sam and Liam serenaded me with "Club Tropicana" by Wham! in front of a bunch of our friends just now and it was hard to turn down :D.

So I'll be travelling starting Friday afternoon through Sun. I'm guessing you'll start Friday or Saturday and stay until Monday because it's MLK, Jr. day in the States. Let's keep in touch via Skype text and do our best to make our regular time work like you said.

I'm glad you're going to do something fun over the holiday – you deserve it. And like Rob said, it's good you're going while you can, because you're going to be working so hard again this quarter, I know.

Well, I'm going to bed now. I miss you the most at this time of day, when I'm tired right before bed. It doesn't make falling asleep any easier. But I'll get there. "Talk" soon.

Love,

Blaine

* * *

TO: Blaine Anderson  
FROM: Sebastian Smythe  
DATE: January 12, 2014  
SUBJECT: Re: next Sat 1/18 call

I didn't think you'd still be up. A few final words before you slip under the covers:

1) Nothing gives me more pleasure than being able to get you out of your pajama bottoms. I know I've probably exceeded my quota for sexy jokes but you really lobbed that one at me, it had to be said.

2) If a Wham! song persuaded you to do anything, I'm afraid I may have to reconsider our friendship.

3) Put on my hoodie - you always look like you're wearing a blanket when you wear it, so maybe that will make falling asleep easier.

4) I miss you, too. Like an embarrassing amount.

Good night, B.

* * *

FROM: Blaine Anderson  
TO: Sebastian Smythe  
DATE: January 12, 2014  
SUBJECT: Re: next Sat 1/18 call

Awww, Seb. I'm wearing it already - and it does help. Good night, baby <3

* * *

Blaine tossed his bags on the hostel bunk. "Sam, the irony is not lost on me that you were singing 'Club Tropicana' to me less than a week ago today and yet here I stand, soaked through my clothes from the Scottish rain in 40 degree stormy weather."

Sam put his own bags down and unzipped one to dig out dry socks. "Hey, at least it's a beach city."

"A beach city in Scotland in January - and it gets dark here at like 4PM. They should use that in their tourism ads: 'St. Andrews! Come sunbathe in the rain, but don't forget to bring your flashlight with your sunblock!'"

"Dude, your snark level has gone exponential since you slept with Seb. So snark is sexually transmitted, huh? Or only to non-boyfriends?" Sam gave him a droll sideways glance.

"SAM!" Blaine chided, stripping off his dripping polo and putting on a dry one.

"Oh come on, it's been two weeks since we got back from Ohio. I can't joke about this yet?"

Blaine looked grim for a moment and then finally smiled weakly at Sam's sympathetic and grinning face. "Ok fine, I should be able to laugh about my weird non-boyfriend predicament with Seb. But don't push it."

[](http://imgur.com/Ps7rlYP)

Sam smiled at him. "Good, that means you're really making progress on this whole 'be your own man' thing!"

"'Be your own man' thing?" Liam asked, dropping suitcases on the floor as he and Scott pushed through the hostel room door.

"Yeah, Blaine is on a quest…" Sam stopped mid-sentence when he caught Blaine giving him a warning look. "…Blaine is a on a quest to get more ripped, and I'm helping him. I can help all of you – tomorrow morning I'll hold a broga session in the lobby!" He began to sing:

_You're the saddest bunch_  
 _I ever met_  
 _But you can bet_  
 _Before we're through_  
 _Mister, I'll make a man_  
 _out of you!"_  


_Tranquil as a forest…_

"Stop stop STOP!" interrupted Blaine. "Sam, the fact that I love musicals and you are trying to cheer me up about missing Seb, does NOT mean you need to burst into song at every random moment."

Liam chuckled, "Oh come on Blainers, Sam doesn't have a bad set of pipes."

"It's not the quality, it's the QUANTITY," Blaine objected. "Actually, it's also sometimes the quality – I love Mulan, but he was singing Wilson Phillips to me when we stopped for gas – I mean petrol."

"Oh come on, 'Hold On' is the perfect heartbreak recovery song!' Sam said.

_Don't you know, things can change_  
 _Things'll go your way_  
 _If you hold on for one more day!_

"STOP!" Liam, Scott and Blaine all shouted.

* * *

"Hey Blaine, I got the name from my mum of the shop that does cheap custom kilts here in St. Andrews," Liam said from his place on the lobby couch, not looking up from his phone. I'll forward it to you."

"Thanks, man." Blaine said, not looking up from his phone, either.

_BLAINE: Just got to St. Andrews and it's pouring down rain. So much for a beachy weekend._  
 _SEB: Push Sam into a puddle, that'll make the weekend fun._  
 _BLAINE: Ha ha, wish you were here - you could push him harder and he'd make a bigger splash._  
 _SEB: Hey I gotta turn this off, class is about to start. Prof. Gomez collects cell phones that go off and makes you stand up while the whole class yells, "Thank you for interrupting my learning and wasting my tuition."_  
 _BLAINE: Yikes, okay bye!  
SEB: Imagine I'm patting you on the ass to say goodbye._

"You're getting a kilt made?" Sam enthused. "Yes! We can wear them together at the next big party back home! "You'll be like, Gay Braveheart!"

 _Dude that rocks, it's like gay Braveheart!_ The memory of Finn commenting on Kurt's junior prom kilt warmed Blaine.

Then he thought of Finn's voice saying something else:

_'You know what we're gonna do? Surrender. I know how hard that is for you because of how hard you hold on to stuff … But we're just gonna sit here and we're just gonna let go and let the universe do its thing and if we're meant to be together, then we're gonna be together.'"_

Tears came to his eyes and Blaine got up from the couch he was on. "I forgot something upstairs, I'll be right back," he said quickly, before the tears could choke his voice.

* * *

"Hey Blaine, everyone's ready to go for dinner…" Sam found Blaine sitting on a bench and looking out the window at the end of the row of wooden bunk beds in the large, empty hostel bedroom.

Blaine turned his head, showing tear- stained cheeks. He looked at Sam ruefully, wiping his eyes and standing up. "Okay. And don't - just don't say anything. I know I'm lame. It's just, it's just something reminded me of Finn, and Kurt, and Seb. It made me miss Finn and feel sad about him; and it made me nostalgic about Kurt; but if I'm going to be honest I'm mostly being stupid and weak about Seb. Just give me a second and I'll get myself together."

Sam gently sat him down again and sat next to him. "You're not stupid and weak. It's okay to miss someone you love. I felt like that when Mercedes left, and then Brittany. You're doing the best you can and that's cool."

Blaine's big eyes looked golden and sad. "I just feel like an idiot, I know I shouldn't need to have a boyfriend to be happy. Why do I keep thinking about how happy Seb and I were together and how we can't have that now? What's wrong with me, why am I so needy?"

Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with you. Sure, you don't _need_ a boyfriend to be happy, but it's okay to _want_ to be with someone you love. It's okay to miss a guy who would make a pretty good boyfriend – especially if that guy has the cajones to do it with you eight times in one night," he joked.

Blaine chuckled in spite of himself, then wiped his eyes again. "So you don't think I'm pathetic?"

"No," Sam said, clapping him on the back. "Not at all – you could be eating ice cream and watching chick flicks, but you're here for a great time in this awesome historic little town with all of us! You're moving forward, you're reaching out to people in school…you're…you're being a leader in class." He paused, looking thoughtful. "You're doing stuff to make yourself happier and you're surrounding yourself with awesome people."

Sam paused again, looking out the window and continued quietly. "You'll probably keep missing Seb, but the more fun you're able to have without him, the less painful it's gonna be. It'll be the type of heartache that you can put aside most of the time, not the kind of heartache that makes you want to rip your ear off and mail it somebody."

Blaine chuckled. "You guys studying Van Gogh in art history?"

Sam nodded. "And even when the first...sting passes, it's okay from time to time to miss him a lot. I still miss Brittany like that sometimes. That's when I play my guitar or draw something and work through it."

Blaine leaned his head on Sam's shoulder. "You're the best."

"Nah, I'm not the best. Because I've never done it eight times in one night." Sam said mischievously. "Or was it nine? And I'm curious, what did you guys eat that night? Was there some kind of Chinese herb involved? Were there water breaks? Did you have to stretch before or after?"

Blaine started beating on him with his fists. "Stop talking about it like that! You make it sound so…dirty!"

"Well it _was_ dirty, wasn't it?!"

Blaine pulled on his ear.

"OW!"

Mary ducked her head in the room. "Oh EXCUSE me," she said, waggling her eyebrows.

Sam protested, "MARY!"

"Hey, I don't want to get in the middle of your lovers' quarrels," Mary replied, laughing.

"For the last time, Blaine and I are not lovers! He has a boyfriend!"

"Seb is NOT my boyfriend!" Blaine protested.

Mary laughed. "See?! Blaine doesn't have a boyfriend! It's okay! You can tell the world that you are lovers!"

Sam yelped, "WE ARE NOT LOVERS!"

"Oh right, you're not lovers. That's too romantic. You're just bonking each other," Mary said coolly.

"MARY!"

* * *

After about five hours of double black diamond skiing, David and Sebastian were glad to get back to their hotel suite. "You can have the shower first," said Sebastian as he pulled the keycard and pushed open the door. "Blaine and I are trying to Skype or at least Skype text about now." He hurried to his laptop at the desk, stripping layers of ski gear off as he crossed the room.

David smiled an indulgent smile as he gathered his things for the shower. Who knew Sebastian Smythe could look so…smitten? There was still the veneer of cool, but the smitten was right underneath. The Captain would never deign to look too dreamy eyed, but he was looking more bright eyed than David had ever seen him before. And he was definitely moving faster and with more urgency than David ever remembered seeing him move off of an athletic field.

When David came out of the bathroom, the steam drifting into the bedroom with him, he found Sebastian asleep on top of the covers of his bed. One arm was flung over his eyes, his hair was in disarray and his IPad was on the bed next to him. David took Sebastian's shoes off and moved the Ipad to the nightstand. Then he removed the bedspread from the top of his own bed and covered Sebastian with it. Settling on to his own bed, he wrote in his journal for ten minutes or so, then read a book.

About an hour and a half later David awoke – he must have dozed off while reading. After rubbing his eyes for a minute, he looked over to see Sebastian beginning to stir.

"Hey man," David murmured, "You hungry? I'm starving. Do you want to go with me to get something to eat?"

Sebastian answered in a hoarse whisper, his eyes still closed. "Okay, just give me a minute." He rolled over on his back, revealing wrinkles from his pillowcase on one side of his face. "Man I totally passed out, I feel like I slept for a hundred years."

David asked sleepily, "Well you did say you had double practices all week and that you stayed up late Thursday night doing your physics homework. Plus you were going at the slopes like an Olympian today. I'm surprised you didn't sleep for longer."

"Yeah, I guess I'm pretty tired." Sebastian's eyes were halfway open for a moment, then closed again.

David rubbed his eyes again and yawned. "So, how was your call with Blaine? You said he's on a trip, too?"

"We didn't talk," Sebastian said without expression, his eyes still screwed shut as he stretched his long arms. "But yeah, he's on a trip to some town on the coast of Scotland. He texted that they decided at the last minute to make it a late night. Some unplanned trip to a pub. So he wasn't in front of his IPad and didn't have good cell coverage either for a voice call. And he couldn't even text for long because his phone was almost out of battery from sharing it all day with some friend of his who lost theirs." By the end of his explanation, Sebastian sounded tired. Or dejected. Or both.

David chose not to respond, thinking the silence might encourage his normally laconic friend to talk a bit more.

There was a long pause. It was not uncomfortable - silences between David and Sebastian never were. But it was a long pause.

"Why is it so hard?" Sebastian asked finally, his eyes half open and looking at the ceiling. "You've had girlfriends before – are all relationships so hard?"

David answered quietly, "No, but some are in even harder situations than the one you and Blaine are in. There's a range."

There was another long pause before Sebastian spoke again. "It's good for Blaine to be partying with Sam right now, having fun as a free agent, spending time alone. I want that for him. It's just…"

"You miss him." David finished for him. "Of course you miss him. You guys got to be really tight in the last couple of months and then you just spent almost every minute of winter break with him."

Sebastian rubbed at his eyes and stared at the ceiling, fixating on the blinking green light of the smoke detector. After another long pause he said, "We had sex the last night. A lot of sex."

David didn't say anything. This is what Sebastian appreciated about David. No immediate judgment. Nick would be doing backflips right now. Sebastian said quietly, "That's between me and you, bro."

"Of course." Then David allowed silence to reign some more.

Sebastian put his hands behind his head, eyes still trained on the green light. "Santana says the sex is what makes this hard. Sex with feelings. And now I'm left hanging - we're not even Skyping as much now."

"Well, you don't have to hang alone," David said quietly. "If you…" he trailed off, thinking it would be best to just leave it at that.

"If I what?" Sebastian asked.

David didn't say anything, not feeling sure how to put it.

Sebastian repeated, "If I what? Come on, DJ – spill it."

David paused again, then finally said, "I was just going to say that you don't need to hang alone if you would just…let a few more people…in. If you let a few more people get to know you better, it might not be so lonely without Blaine."

Sebastian considered this.

"I've been chatting with people today: on the lifts, at lunch. There are a lot of people who want to get to know you better. Like that Karen girl from your acapella group. And Thomas is crazy, but when he quiets down he's really not a bad guy – he talked a lot about how much fun you guys have, how much he admires your ambition and audacity and how he enjoys your sense of humor. Of course I wasn't supposed to tell you any of this – he says you'll get too conceited."

Sebastian chuckled.

"And I talked to a bunch of other guys from your dorm who think you're a good guy and a lot of fun when they get a chance to talk to you."

Sebastian lay there reflecting on all these new people in his life. He knew what David was hearing, even if people weren't saying it in so many words. People hadn't had a chance to talk to him about anything very personal. Sebastian showed up for parties, drank and played around, but he didn't give people a chance to engage in conversations of any depth with him. He didn't feel a great need to, if he had Blaine.

David continued gently. "And outside of all these Stanford people, the Warblers are still behind you and any of those guys would love to hear from you more – they haven't forgotten about you, man. And of course I'm just down the road to listen or talk or just hang, anytime – it's a great break from the crunchy granola types at Berkeley."

Sebastian was reminded again of why David had always been one of his favorite Warblers.

"It's like that sweet song," David mused.

"What song?"

David rolled over and pulled his own IPad from the night stand. "When I was looking for ideas for our Berkeley acapella group, I emailed Blaine and he sent me this rehearsal video with this song one of the New Directions composed. Has he shown it to you?"

He found the video on YouTube and turned it toward Sebastian, who rolled on his side to watch Marley, Sam, Blaine and Unique sing [this song](http://youtube.com/watch?v=edb0qvh5DdM):

Marley:  
 _Mmm..._  
Oooh...  
 _We feel, we hear,_  
 _your pain, your fear_  
 _But we're here, to say,_  
 _who you are, is okay_

Blaine:  
 _And you don't have to go through this_  
on your own  
 _You're not alone_

Marley:  
 _You have more friends than you know_  
 _Some who surround you_  
 _Some you are destined to meet_  
 _You'll have more love in your life_

[](http://imgur.com/Uy9csHG)

Unique:  
 _Don't let go, give it time_

Unique and Sam:  
 _Take it slow_  
 _Those who love you the most, may need more time to grow_

Unique:  
 _It's gonna be okay_ (Sam: _It's gonna be okay_ )  
 _You have more friends than you know_

Sebastian would have normally snarked about the earnest sweetness of the song, but he knew David meant well. He only nodded and rolled over on his back, staring at the ceiling again. A lyric rolled back in his mind:

_Give it time_  
 _Take it slow_  
 _Those who love you the most_  
 _may need more time to grow._

Waiting for Blaine to grow definitely took time. "Those two girls did have some serious pipes," he commented, looking grim. Seeing Blaine singing beautifully alongside Sam, Marley and Unique in the video made Sebastian miss him again. He made a mental note to see what other New Directions videos were up on YouTube.

There was a buzzing of David and Sebastian's phones.

_Rob: We're coming out of the elevators. Don't say I didn't warn you._

There were loud footsteps in the call and then a pounding at the door. "HERR SMYTHE, YOUNG DAVID!"

David got up and opened the door.

"What have you been doing?!" Thomas said loudly. "There are many girls asking for you, Sir David! If you don't come, I will take them all for myself." Then he shouted over David's shoulder at Sebastian. "And I saw Mr. Jay Gay from Stern looking around the deck for you, Seb-meister. You also do not want to miss the activities down there - they are about to start a game called 'drunken pin the nose on the snowman!'"

Rob pushed past Thomas and David to sit on Sebastian's bed. "Come on, join me and the German maniac. We'll bring down your scotch and drink it while watching Charlie strike out once again with Lana and Thomas hit on girls way out of his league. Plus we could see everyone stick that carrot where the sun don't shine on the snowman."

Sebastian yawned. "I gotta take a shower first."

Thomas waved him off dismissively. "No one down there has showered – the apres-ski is very good down there! The hot tubs are filling up already, you can join the beautiful bodies in them!"

"Oh that sounds appealing," Sebastian said dryly. "Joining people stewing in their own filth."

"Hey," Thomas said suggestively, "Maybe Jay likes it dirty."

Rob was poking his head into the bathroom of the suite. "Thomas come here, they've got their OWN hot tub in here – it seats like 8 people. This suite is bigger than I thought."

Thomas ran over and whistled. "Party at Seb's!"

Rob looked at him sternly. "Thomas, I don't think Seb…"

Sebastian was looking thoughtful. He turned to David. "You said let people in? Let's let people in, then…" He made a welcoming gesture and smirked. "Tommy boy, let's have a party..."

David laughed and fistbumped him, Rob raised his eyebrows and Thomas raced for the door, shouting. "YES!"

Sebastian called after him down the hall. "Only the lacrosse guys, the tri-team, Roble, the band, and Mixed Company! I will bar others at the door! And no one can come up until after dinner, no one until nine o'clock!"

"SURE, SURE!" Thomas yelled from the elevator bay.

Sebastian turned back to the suite. "I really do want that shower…Do you guys mind calling the local liquor store to ask them to deliver a keg and some Solo cups? If they don't deliver, tell them I'll pay double if they will. Tell them I'll show them my ID when they arrive."

"Sure," David answered, grabbing his IPad. "I'll ask for sodas for the teetotalers too, some basic snacks, and another bottle of scotch for you, Captain."

Sebastian was stripping off his t-shirt and digging for clothes in the dresser. "You know me so well, DJ. Yeah, grab my gold card out of my wallet and go to town - maybe a stack of pizzas? Don't want these freshmen drinking on an empty stomach. Gotta keep the throwing up to a minimum."

Rob was searching the internet on his phone. "I'll see if there's a party store around here to rent a karaoke system. I want to hear Mixed Company sing something besides Christmas carols. And I'll have the front desk send up a ton of towels for the jacuzzi. If we're going to give our first party, it's better everyone trashes this suite than our dorm room."

Rob turned to David after Sebastian got into shower. "What did you do? You are a magician, man."

David shook his head. "I just told him there are a lot of people around here who would like to get to know him better and that if he'd just let them, it might not be so lonely with less Blaine in his life. I'm not sure throwing a party is the key to him bonding with people, but I guess it's a start."

Rob looked impressed. "Yeah, at least he's trying. Which means he _listened_ to you and took your suggestion – that's what's impressive, man. I don't even bother trying most days. I bow down to you, David Jett."

"It only took two years to start to figure him out," laughed David. "And I just got lucky he was half asleep and had his walls down a little. But I'm an amateur – Blaine is really the only one who knows how to manage him."

Rob nodded. "I really have to meet this Blaine character. What's he like, to have Mr. Slick wrapped around his finger?"

David laughed. "Blaine? Let's see, what's he like… Well he's a crazy talented performer, but pretty modest about it. He went to Dalton with me before Sebastian started there – they just missed each other. He was our star soloist in our acapella group, by a long shot. He was a good leader in our group." He paused to think a bit more. "Hmmm, what else? He's smart enough to keep up Seb; very charming; handsome in an old-school movie star sort of way; and well bred - he comes from a fair amount of money, too. I think Seb likes that he can keep up with him in terms of his…sophistication. But the most important thing about Blaine is that everyone who meets him adores him. He's just a really sweet guy, he has biggest heart you can imagine."

David looked thoughtful. "And he 'gets' Sebastian – in a way other people don't. He has unending patience with him and somehow has managed to get past all of Seb's walls." He chuckled, "Sebastian's adorable with him, you wouldn't recognize him – he loves to spoil him and open doors for him, that sort of thing. And all Blaine has to do is widen his big eyes and Seb is like putty in his hands. They were the cutest thing during all of winter break back home."

Rob nodded, looking impressed again. "I don't totally get why they aren't together, then. I mean I get the long distance thing is hard – but they sound so far gone about each other."

"You got me," David agreed. "But I don't know – Seb's never had a boyfriend before…maybe he's nervous about it, down deep. And maybe Blaine's gunshy - he broke an engagement, if you can believe it, just last August."

"What? Seb's never had a boyfriend?" Rob's eyebrows shot up. "Whoa…well I guess I'm not shocked. But when we're out partying with everyone, he's so much big talk about all the guys he's been with…I just assumed…"

"Yeah, I guess he's just hot air in that department," David chuckled. "He pretty much told me as much, earlier when he was half awake and rambling at me after his nap."

"Oh man, he really is a hermit. A rich, well-dressed hermit." Rob said, shaking his head. "Yeah, we gotta go get him some more real friends. I can't take on all of his mopeyness by myself. He's been keeping everyone at arm's length, but maybe this party will be a sign to folks that he's open to getting to know them better."

David nodded. "It was nice to see there's a drop of self-preservation in him, since the party _was_ his idea."

"And sort of Thomas' idea," Rob added, shaking his head again with a smile.

"Oh yeah," David said, chuckling. "Thomas…Sebastian's one other Stanford friend besides you."

"Friend is a generous term to use for Thomas," said Rob with a laugh.

As if on cue, there was a pounding on the door. "SMYTHE! YOUNG DAVID! THE BASEBALL TEAM IS JOINING THE PARTY! I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T MIND!"

* * *

"Are you sure this is your first ceildh?" Mary asked Blaine, sitting down next to him at the bar. "Because you took me for quite a whirl out there!"

"Aww, you're sweet Mary," gushed Blaine, sipping his hard lemonade. "Of course it was my first. But it's not going to be my last – that was so much fun! I want to learn more of those folk dances, I wish that part of the night wasn't over!"

"Well the locals find that the traditional ceildh dances get a little old, even if they do make money drawing the tourists and the nostalgic set in. So that's why they play modern stuff and do open mic later at night when the locals drift in." She pointed to the door where locals were indeed beginning to enter.

Sam and Liam came over to join them, sipping beer. "Having fun?" Liam asked Blaine with a wink. "Can I buy you another drink, little B?

Sam punched Liam in the arm. "No liquoring up Blaine and taking advantage of him, Liam. He's a lightweight."

Liam pouted and grinned. "You're no fun, Sammy. But don't worry, I wouldn't dream of ruining my little pet. I need him to be my wingman at the gay clubs back in Edinburgh. He'll never go with me if he's resentful of me getting handsy."

Sam said to Mary, "Let's go dance, I was all left feet with those ceildh dances, but I've got the moves for this Beyonce'."

The two took off for the dance floor and Blaine turned to Liam with a loopy grin. "I'll be your wingman any day, Liam. You're a good mate!" He babbled, "Where does that term come from, anyway? Wingman…it always makes me think of buffalo wings. Are you supposed to have your wingman tuck you under their wing to protect you from skeevy guys?" His big hazel eyes were bright with curiosity. "Oh wait, I think it's from Top Gun, so it's a pilot thing? But what is a wingman to a pilot? They don't sit on the wing…they would fall off!" He giggled. "Oh Liam, when I was a kid I used to play that I was Maverick because I had dark hair like his. Who would you be? Iceman? Goose? Everyone always liked Iceman or Maverick, but I liked Goose a lot because he was such a nice guy and I was soooo sad when he died."

Liam chuckled at him, then raised his eyebrows at the good looking university-aged man who sidled up next to Blaine at the bar. The man asked in a posh London accent, "You blokes in town for the weekend?"

"How did you know?" Blaine looked coy.

"The way that you're dressed," laughed Liam. "You may as well have 'American' stamped on your forehead."

The man laughed. "Your Scottish friend isn't wrong at that. Welcome to St. Andrews, Yankee Doodle. I'm Matthew McCall." He extended his hand to Blaine.

"I'm Blaine Anderson." Blaine shook hands and smiled sweetly.

Liam shook hands as well. "I'm Liam…" Then he chuckled, looking at Matthew's predatory eyes on Blaine. "Oh hell, you don't care what my name is, Matthew. I'll be downstream if you need me, Blainers," and Liam hopped off his stool and headed to find the rest of the RC crowd at the other end of the bar.

Blaine gaped after him. "I don't know what's gotten into him, Matthew! Please excuse his behavior, I've never seen him so rude! He's really a nice guy."

Matthew laughed. "I bet he is. And a very direct guy, too. But the question we have for us now," he said flirtatiously, "is…are you a nice guy too, Blaine?"

"Yes!" Blaine said, laughing and finishing his hard lemonade. "How about you, Matthew? You seem like a very nice guy," he gushed. "You know how sometimes you just get a nice vibe from people as soon as you meet them? I'm getting that from you. A very nice vibe," he chirped.

At the other end of the bar, Scott chuckled to Liam. "Look at Blainers batting his eyelashes at that bloke."

Liam laughed, "Yeah, he's so sloshed he doesn't know what he's doing. Sam said that he kissed a girl once when he was drunk and he's oblivious when people are hitting on him even when he's sober! Apparently last year a friend of theirs got sweet on him and sang a song to him during their singin' club but he had no idea she was even singing to him."

Matthew flagged the bartender. "Another one for my friend here. I'm getting very nice vibe from you, my friend," he said, checking out Blaine's ass and arms.

Blaine was too busy wiping the bar with his cocktail napkin to notice Matthew's eyes travelling his body. "Yeah," Blaine said slowly, more of the alcohol hitting him. "I am nice…maybe too nice," he added, rolling his eyes with a rueful smile.

"Now what do you mean by that?" Matthew asked, smiling.

"Oh, sometimes I think I'm a bit wishy-washy…is that a British expression, too? It means I don't formulate strong opinions immediately. And then I let people influence me too easily…"

Matthew nodded, a bit thrown by the gravity in Blaine's voice and unsure of what to say next.

[](http://imgur.com/b97xuMz)

"Like my friend Tina, she is a great influence on me most of the time, but sometimes Sam (my other best friend) says I let her influence me too much. Like after I kissed my _other_ best friend that I'm in love with, Sebastian, at New Year's. Have you ever been in love, Matthew?"

Matthew's head jerked back in surprise. At the other end of the bar, Liam was pointing at the pair and laughing heartily with Scott.

Blaine barreled on without waiting for an answer, his speech slurring. "Tina freaked me out after I kissed Sebastian when she wondered if he might want to just be 'friends with benefits' – and it turns out she couldn't have been more wrong. I missed out on four days of sex because of that!"

He giggled. "I know I shouldn't be laughing but that's all I can do at such a sad situation! Oh Matthew, what I missed out on! Four days of really, really hot sex with Sebastian! We could have done it all over his beautiful mansion after the staff went home, and at my house in the kitchen, in the backyard, in the media room while Cooper was at the gym…"

Matthew's eyes were like saucers and he remained frozen on the spot. Blaine continued dreamily, "That would have been so hot because Sebastian had been falling asleep in my lap every afternoon and he said he had been daydreaming about me kissing him to wake him up. Heck, maybe we would have done it at the lake with the right blankets!

The probably all sounds very crude, but sex with him is so beautiful. You should see Sebastian…he's got these beautiful freckles, widely spaced, on his neck and shoulders and collarbone and a few on his chest and his face…they are gorgeous, I call them beauty spots instead of freckles because he's so beautiful…and he has the softest skin over the most amazing muscles and such a handsome face and these killer abs and legs from playing lacrosse and training for a triathlon. He's so... TALL …he looks like a model."

Matthew now looked like a trapped animal and Liam nearly snorted beer out of his nose.

"Oh wait, I can show you!" Blaine squealed, grinning as he whipped out his phone to show pictures of Sebastian to the shocked Matthew. "This is him with my friend Sam's little sister – is that not the most adorable thing ever? This is him with my mom; this is him dressed up to visit his grandmother; these are him dancing with his grandmother; this is him on the swings right before we went sleighriding; this is him in the sleigh - doesn't he look grouchy? He can be adorable when he's grouchy."

Matthew looked like he might be ready to make a run for it.

Blaine clapped a hand on Matthew's shoulder and he burbled, "You are such a good listener, Matthew. Anyway, Sebastian and I _did_ have sex, but sometimes I wonder if I let him too easily influence me into not dating for now. Sometimes I think I was being too nice. But most of the time I think it was the right thing. I mean he's in California at Stanford and I'm in Edinburgh; plus I just broke off an engagement five months ago so it might be too soon…but when you're in love with someone, you can't control the timing, right? Should we just be going for it?

Blaine did not seem to notice the odd expression on Matthew's face. "But it's not like Sebastian manipulated me, exactly. I was actually the one to bring up the idea of waiting - but I said I wasn't sure if that was what we should do. But as soon as I brought it up as a possibility, he jumped on it and said we should be conservative because 'it's better to wait too long, than jump in too quickly and screw it up.' It's kind of confusing though, because he makes it sound like he's been waiting for me for two years – when we first met I was still dating my ex-fiance' – and now suddenly he wants to wait?

"But I'm good, Sam says to just keep having fun and it won't hurt as much to miss him. I think I can learn to be happy on my own again, without a boyfriend. And while I do, Seb will be waiting for me. He's so nice. Do you think he's too nice? No, he just wants what's best for me – he wants me to be strong enough to be happy on my own without him or any boyfriend. You know, I used to be a really happy on my own, Matthew…I used to dance on the furniture at Dalton and throw papers in the air and sing impromptu songs in the senior commons and I didn't use so much gel in my hair and I didn't need a boyfriend to be happy…I can do that again!"

Sam and Mary had come off the dance floor and joined the RC crowd. Sam looked over to check on Blaine. Liam was wiping his eyes as he shook with laughter. Sam smiled and said, "What are you laughing at?" Liam pointed to Blaine. Sam's mouth hung open as he watched Blaine grinning and babbling at Matthew, who still looked trapped, shocked, and horrified all rolled into one facial expression.

Sam glared at Liam, saying "You are cruel, man." He hurried over and took Blaine by the arm. "Sorry man," he said to Matthew. "When my buddy here's had one too many, he gets a little flirty."

Matthew finally snapped out of his horrified state. "Flirty? That's not what I would call that," he spluttered before he bolted across the room.

"Oh, Sam! Blaine jabbered, "I wasn't flirting! Matthew and I are just friends. He was the nicest guy! Such a good listener! I told him all about Seb and I think Matthew agrees that I definitely am capable of being happy without Sebastian. Like you said, I don't really _want_ to be without him, but I _CAN_ be without him."

Sam shook his head and guided Blaine to the RC group, "Oh Blaine, you told him about Seb? You are hopeless. That poor dude."

At that moment the DJ spoke over the microphone. "Open mic, everybody! Who's up?"

"ME! ME! ME!" Blaine shouted. The DJ waved at him to come to the stage.

Liam chortled. "Go get 'em Blainers! Maybe you can get the ceildh band to back you, Mary's been chatting with them while Sam was saving that poor chap from your verbal diarrhea."

Sam looked reluctant to release his roommate from his clutches, but when Blaine gave him the puppy dog eyes he relented. "No sitting in anyone's lap while you sing," Sam warned.

"Liam and I get to sing back-up," Scott added with a grin. "What are we singing?"

"Don't say Wham!" Liam warned.

Blaine frowned at him, then bounced up to where Mary was, with Scott and Liam at his heels. After a minute the band trailed Blaine up to the stage.

Mary, Scott, Liam and Blaine began clapping a complex syncopated rhythm and the band kicked in close behind. Blaine grabbed the microphone and gave a dazzling smile as he danced and sang: _[this song](http://youtube.com/watch?v=FBX7p77jSEY)_

[](http://imgur.com/auAf2rf)

_If you love somebody_  
 _Better tell them while they're here 'cause_  
 _They just may run away from you_

Blaine began swinging the microphone stand like it was his dance partner.

_You'll never know quite when, well_  
 _Then again it just depends on_  
 _How long of time is left for you_

He smiled and made eye contact with each person he could see:

_I've had the highest mountains_  
 _I've had the deepest rivers_  
 _You can have it all but life keeps moving_

_I take it in but don't look down_

Liam, Scott and Mary joined in with verve, singing and dancing behind the smiling Blaine:

_'Cause I'm on top of the world, 'ay_  
 _I'm on top of the world, 'ay_  
 _Waiting on this for a while now_  
 _Paying my dues to the dirt_

Blaine graced the audience next with a few of his signature spins:

_I've been waiting to smile, 'ay_  
 _Been holding it in for a while, 'ay_  
 _Take you with me if I can_  
 _Been dreaming of this since a child_  
 _I'm on top of the world._

Blaine jumped from the stage to serenade a grinning Sam:

 _I've tried to cut these corners_  
 _Try to take the easy way out_  
 _I kept on falling short of something_  
  
He came over next to a older woman at the pub table next to Sam, making her blush and giggle:

_I coulda gave up then but_  
 _Then again I couldn't have 'cause_  
 _I've traveled all this way for something_

Blaine jumped back on the stage for the chorus, dancing and dipping Mary:

_I take it in but don't look down_

_Sam joined Blaine, Liam, Scott and Mary singing and dancing onstage:_  
 _'Cause I'm on top of the world, 'ay_  
 _I'm on top of the world, 'ay_  
 _Waiting on this for a while now_  
 _Paying my dues to the dirt_

_I've been waiting to smile, 'ay_  
 _Been holding it in for a while, 'ay_  
 _Take you with me if I can_  
 _Been dreaming of this since a child_  
 _I'm on top of the world._  
  
Blaine jumped onto a chair and then onto a pub table to dance joyously for the bridge and next chorus:

_Oooooooo... OoooAhhhhhOoooAhhhhh_  
 _Oooooooo... OoooAhhhhhOoooAhhhhh_

' _Cause I'm on top of the world, 'ay_  
 _I'm on top of the world, 'ay_  
 _Waiting on this for a while now_  
 _Paying my dues to the dirt_

Blaine gestured for all 16 of his other international dorm friends to jump up on their chairs as well, sweeping the room up with his charisma:

_I've been waiting to smile, 'ay_  
 _Been holding it in for a while, 'ay_  
 _Take you with me if I can_  
 _Been dreaming of this since a child_

Blaine encouraged the whole room to get out of their seats to dance, and most complied:  
 __  
 _And I know it's hard when you're falling down_  
 _And it's a long way up when you hit the ground_  
 _Get up now, get up, get up now._

Running back to the stage, Blaine grabbed Mary and they demonstrated a few Scottish folk dance moves he had learned during the ceildh. The crowd cheered.

_And I know it's hard when you're falling down_  
 _And it's a long way up when you hit the ground_  
 _Get up now, get up, get up now._

' _Cause I'm on top of the world, 'ay_  
 _I'm on top of the world, 'ay_  
 _Waiting on this for a while now_  
 _Paying my dues to the dirt_

Blaine, Mary, Liam, Scott and Sam grabbed dance partners and they all danced on the small stage, bumping into each other and laughing until they were gasping as they sang:

_I've been waiting to smile, 'ay_  
 _Been holding it in for a while, 'ay_  
 _Take you with me if I can_  
 _Been dreaming of this since a child_

_I'm on top of the world._

The room roared when the song ended.

Blaine collapsed into a chair and chugged down water the bartender had sent over. He said with a tipsy grin, "Where's that cute Matthew? Maybe I'm ready to flirt now! But I don't need him to be my boyfriend!"

Sam said to Liam, "Flag us a cab, Blaine's ready for bed."

Liam nodded and patted Blaine's curly head as he walked by him towards the door. "Thanks for the laugh, pet!"

"I'm not your pet, Liam!" Blaine shouted after him, amusing the pub patrons around him. "BUT I'LL BE YOUR CHICKEN WING ANYTIME, MY MAN! I'LL BE YOUR GOOSE! ANYTIME!"

* * *

Sebastian looked with surprise at his ringing phone. "B? Hey, hold on - let me find a quieter spot." He strode into the resort lobby and stopped at the concierge's desk to urgently ask, "Excuse me, where's the best spot for AT&T cell reception? Some place quiet?"

"Top of the stairs on the mezzanine level, at the end of the hall near the business center. By the biggest window, sir."

"Thanks much," Sebastian replied. He walked quickly toward the stairs. "Hold on, Blaine – give me a minute. You still there?"

"Still here, Seb!" Blaine murmured and shifted to get comfortable in his hostel bed, restricted by the phone's power cord connected to the wall socket.

"I'm just getting to a spot with good cell coverage." Sebastian went up the stairs, two at a time and hastened to the window, which had a magnificent view of the slopes. "Still there?"

"Yep, still here, baby." Blaine slurred.

"You're drunk, B," Sebastian chuckled.

"Maybe a little, sweetie pie." Blaine smiled.

Sebastian eyes crinkled with a fond smile. "You should get to bed - it's like 2AM there. How was your night out?"

"Super fun," Blaine said, his voice still thick with alcohol. "I went to this thing called a 'ceildh' which is a party with Scottish folk dances. I learned some cool new steps and had so much fuuuun! And then there was open mic and I got to sing and dance on the tables. I was on top of the world!"

Sebastian's heart warmed and he chuckled. "I bet you were. I hope you didn't trip over anyone's feet while dancing drunk."

"I wasn't so very drunk when we were ceildh dancing," Blaine said sweetly. "It was more later. When I was talking with Matthew. He thinks I have a nice vibe. I wasn't flirting with him, you know." He stuck out his lower lip. "Sam and Liam said I was flirting, but I SOOOO was not. I told Matthew how gorgeous you are."

"You told him how gorgeous..." Sebastian shook his head and let out a hearty laugh. He missed Drunk!Flirty!Blaine. "That definitely doesn't sound like flirting, babe. But tell me more about it tomorrow. Get some sleep – are you in bed yet?"

"Yep, I'm in bed. I don't neeeed you, but I'm thinking of you, like I always do in bed," slurred Blaine.

Sebastian smiled and felt a little zing where it counted. "You should be thinking of sheep and counting them, Killer. You need your beauty sleep. I'll try to catch you at 2:00 my time tomorrow. Now I know where I can get good coverage with my phone here. Good night."

"No, don't hang up…" Blaine whined. "I didn't hear about you…How was your night?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "It's still the early evening here, you idiot. Nothing too exciting here, just about to go to dinner. Just a typical college ski weekend: hedonism, pin-the-nose-on-the-snowman, awkward flirting by Stanford nerds who have no game. And because we are complete masochists, Rob, David and I are throwing a party in our suite later tonight. But there was decent powder, so the skiing was pretty good. Okay, will you go to sleep now?"

"I need you to tuck me in," whined Blaine softly.

"Just imagine me tucking you in," Sebastian said with a smile.

Blaine yawned and murmured, "Ok. Bye. I love you, Seb."

Sebastian felt his face flush as he chuckled. "Sweet dreams, B," he said fondly. "Bye."

Sebastian ended the call and looked thoughtfully out the picture window, saying under his breath, "Love you too, Killer." 

[](http://imgur.com/bjguZuj)

* * *

Rob drank his coke down and sighed with satisfaction. "That was a much better meal than I'd expect at one of these cheesey ski pubs."

"I'm surprised we got a table so quickly – I thought there were a ton of people ahead of us at the hostess' desk," David remarked.

Rob chuckled. "You didn't see Seb slip the girl a fifty and give her his charming straight-guy act?"

David grinned and Thomas shook his head. "Smythe, you must leave some for the rest of us – I was going to get that girl's phone number before we left!"

Sebastian drawled, "Tommy, you wouldn't have a chance in Hades with a girl that cute."

Thomas was offended. "Oh, and what would you know about girls, Fairy boy?"

David raised his eyebrows.

Rob chuckled at him, "Yes, Thomas is that ballsy with Seb – it's a miracle he hasn't gotten his teeth kicked in yet."

Sebastian was giving Thomas his death glare. "That's verbal harassment - you're going to pay for that, Müller. Don't they teach manners to you boys in Germany?"

Thomas drank the last of his beer and with a laugh. "In the town I come from, we learn to behave by experience. You don't want to threaten me, Herr Smythe."

"And what kind of experience taught you to be such a jackass?" Sebastian shot back with a smile. David and Rob looked amused.

"You don't want to know, Americano," Thomas retorted with a chortle. "You are talking to the king of the…what do you call it here in the States? Practical joke."

David interrupted. "Oh no son, you don't want to go there with Sebastian. He did evil things to guys at Dalton…like the time he got the Warblers to help him lift Meatbox's Mini Cooper onto the headmaster's front lawn." He grinned at the memory. "And there was no way to drive it out of there without running over the white picket fence around it!"

"No way!" Rob laughed.

Sebastian smirked. "He had it coming, he messed with my car."

"All he did was write 'DRIVE ME TO KENTUCKY' on the windshield with soap when he wanted Seb to drive on a roadtrip," David said, turning to Sebastian with a good natured, scolding look. Then he leaned over and said to Sebastian in a quiet aside, "A gentle reminder, torturing your friends is not the way to become closer to them."

[](http://imgur.com/cLsI0tL)

Sebastian chuckled and whispered back, "I read you loud and clear. I don't need to get any closer to Thomas."

Thomas cackled. "Oh is that your best practical joke, Seb-meister? Then you are no match for me." He stood up. "I'm going to the restroom. Anyone want something from the bar while I'm up?"

The rest shook their heads.

Rob turned to Sebastian. "Damn, I am not _g_ etting on _your_ bad side."

Sebastian smiled and drained his glass of water. "Yeah, getting in a prank war with you would make the rest of the year hell for both of us."

Rob nodded and asked in his mellow way, "So what was the worst thing you did to someone with a prank you played?"

Sebastian's mouth opened slowly and a pained look ran across his face in the blink of an eye.

David's mind flashed to Blaine in a puddle of red slushy on the floor of the parking garage. "Oh that's easy," he said smoothly. "He hazed a freshman…by making them dress as a Warbler bird to school. The kid got bounced to the headmaster's office and then back to his room to change. Then he ended up transferring schools."

Rob whistled. "That's cold, man!"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows at David.

David looked back at him and then to Rob with an earnest expression. "But we were 16 and stupid. And it wasn't just Seb's fault, we all were complicit. That's the thing about being young and in high school - we were young and in high school. That's not who we are in anymore."

Sebastian gave David a thoughtful look.

Rob nodded, then lifted his chin at the returning Thomas. "Who wants dessert?" he asked, tossing dessert menus at his table mates.

Sebastian leaned over to say to David in an aside, "I _wish_ I had hazed a freshman like that. What a cool lie you are, DJ. But it's fine, I can own up to the slushy."

David replied simply, "There's no need to go back there, Captain."

Sebastian shook his head but patted him on the shoulder.

After they gave their dessert orders to their waitress, they noticed the hostess hovering near them. She walked up to Sebastian and gave him an epic, resounding slap across the face. It was a slap so hard it left a red mark on his cheek.

Sebastian's jaw dropped. "What the...?!" he shouted. The entire restaurant was watching.

The hostess threw a wadded piece of paper at his chest. "You are the most disgusting creature I've ever met! You'd better not show your face in here ever again or my boyfriend will bust your face in!" She spun on her heel and stormed off.

Sebastian was frozen, eyes wide, a hand on his reddened cheek. David's mouth was in the shape of an 'O' and his eyes followed the hostess back to her stand. Rob grabbed the paper off of Sebastian's lap and opened it. "Oh god, this is pornographic," he said. His face was confused until he saw Thomas failing to hold in a laugh, then doubled over with tears in his eyes. Rob's eyes widened and David lurched to hold back Sebastian, who was lunging after Thomas' throat and shouting, "MÜLLER!"

Rob shook his head. "Oh shit, this game is ON."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! It was such a pleasure to get Blaine back on the furniture dancing like his Season 2 self. Of course this version of Blaine is even better – 'cause he loves Bas :) The 'I love you' moment was definitely a surprise even to me…I did not start out intending to write that…but as I wrote, drunk Blaine just whispered it in my ear, so it had to be transcribed._
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> _Please review, interested in your thoughts on how believable David's relationship with Seb is, anything you care to comment on in regards to Thomas, Rob, Liam, Blam, Seblaine, etc. Thanks so much for still reading! Your reviews keep me motivated to keep banging this stuff out for you guys, so please keep them coming!_


	19. Flirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Welcome back to Seblaine, the non-boyfriends! In this chapter we finally get to meet the mysterious Jay from Stern Hall, played by none other than the beautiful Colton Haynes.We also meet Sebastian's acapella teammate Karen, played by Starkid Lauren Lopez. The prank war continues as well, and those of you who were fans of Jealous!Blaine in Chapter 6 will be pleased that he returns in here. Read on for more! Thanks for sticking with us on what is turning out to be an epic (at least in terms of length, but hopefully otherwise as well) romance!_

Sebastian was standing near the door of the suite next to Rob, ushering in classmates from their dorm, the band, the triathlon/baseball/lacrosse teams, and Mixed Company, as well as occasionally tossing out interlopers. As he waved in Karen and the other Mixed Company acapella girls, he caught sight of the infamous Jay behind several partygoers in the line down the hallway.

Thomas had been hounding him since their first lacrosse practice to meet Jay, who had met Thomas at freshman orientation. Sebastian had purposely thwarted every one of Thomas' efforts to introduce them, just to be contrary. Most days he found it amusing that Thomas felt all of his gay friends should meet and date or at least hook-up. When he was in some of his darker moods, he found it irritating that Thomas pushed the issue so hard, especially given he had at least some understanding of Sebastian's relationship with Blaine.

None of this was Jay's fault however, Sebastian recognized. He half-watched with vague interest as Jay talked to a friend in the line to enter the party. He was definitely good looking, Sebastian noticed - he had to give Thomas that much credit. He was a couple of inches taller than Blaine; his chiseled features were out of an Abercrombie catalogue; he possessed the lean but athletic build typical of baseball players.

Sebastian had only met upperclassmen LGBTers so far, via his Mixed Company teammates. Perhaps knowing another freshman gay wouldn't be such a bad idea – as long as he didn't turn out to be a tool, wannabe, idiot or other form of obnoxiousness that Sebastian had encountered on campus and in LGBT settings.

From appearances alone, the risk of Jay being any of those things seemed low. As Sebastian observed him interact with his companion, Jay exhibited an energy that was calm without being lethargic and dynamic without being annoyingly peppy. In this regard, he reminded Sebastian of Blaine a bit.

It wasn't long before Jay and his friend had reached the door. "Sebastian Smythe…Jay Baker." Jay introduced himself with friendly confidence, extending his hand.

In these kinds of situations Sebastian never believed in beating around the bush. "Jay Baker…" He met his eyes briefly as he shook his hand and conjured up a half smile. "One of my fellow freshman gays..."

"Do I look like a freshman?" Jay asked, giving him a genuinely charming smile.

Sebastian smirked. "Moot point. Last time I checked, it was only the freshmen RA's who organized this trip. And I hate to break it to you, but my neighbor in Roble over there," he pointed to Thomas across the room, "gave up your humble class status awhile ago. He keeps telling me I should meet Jay Baker, fellow frosh, over in Stern Hall."

Jay looked over at Thomas with fond amusement. "Thomas. He was so thrilled to tell me about this party - he was treating me like Cinderella going to the ball to meet the Prince. Look at him, pretending he's not watching us." He chuckled softly. "Poor guy, I think he's trying to disguise his disappointment that I'm not dressed in drag with glass slippers."

They shared a chuckle, making eye contact for a little longer this time.

Rob observed his roommate's preoccupation with the newcomer and raised his eyebrows from behind Jay. He looked amused as he began waving people into the suite past the pair, who continued to banter near the doorway, just inside the suite.

Sebastian ignored Rob, too intrigued at the moment to bother with him. Or perhaps he wasn't as much intrigued as he was perplexed. Perplexed because he found that while he was talking with Jay, he felt…a spark. Huh. It was something he hadn't felt with anyone since he had returned to Stanford from the holidays. Besides Blaine, the last time he had felt anything remotely like that was with Tristan at The Tavern in Westerville. And that was probably just because Santana was pushing so aggressively for him to make Blaine jealous and to imagine a scenario where Kurt and Blaine reconciled. And that was before he and Blaine had sex.

He was surprised that he could feel chemistry with anyone else after having sex with Blaine. Certainly he had never been more in love with Blaine than he was at the moment. And yet here he was, feeling drawn to another guy. It was just a spark though, obviously nothing compared to what he felt for Blaine. But still…he didn't quite know what to make of it.

Jay's gray-blue eyes gave Sebastian a blink-and-you-miss-it once-over. They might as well be at Scandals, Sebastian thought with amusement.

"Yes, your fairy godmother must be thrilled that he's earned his wings tonight," Sebastian smirked again, glancing at Thomas. "If this other guy I suspect in Roble would just come out, Thomas can sing Bibbidi-Bobbidi-boo and finally sleep well knowing he brought us together to hold hands and skip off to the playground together."

Jay laughed. "Well, it doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you ." There was a comfortable pause as they continued to take each other in. Jay spoke up again with a friendly look. "This is a nice playground you have in here," he said, gesturing to the interior of the suite. "It's magnanimous of you to take us all in."

"Just putting away a little good karma," Sebastian replied smoothly .

"Planning to do something wicked later?" Jay asked with another engaging smile.

"Something like that, Baker," Sebastian smirked. He was starting to feel slightly suspicious of the direction of the conversation. He gave Jay one more half smile as he dismissed him with a cock of his head. "Enjoy the party."

"You, too. See you around the playground, then." Jay smiled again, his eyes twinkling as he walked toward the keg.

Rob turned to Sebastian. "So that was Jay the Gay from Stern, eh?"

"In the flesh," Sebastian said, continuing to greet newcomers with grave nods and approving gestures.

Rob looked amused. "Interesting…"

"What do you mean by that?" Sebastian knitted his brows.

"Nothing…just...interesting."

There were Rob's questioning eyes again.

Rob at least asked an actual question this time. "Does he live up to his inflated reputation?"

 _His ass does,_ thought Sebastian, watching Jay walk across the room. "You're assuming I remember anything Tommy has said to me about him," Sebastian smirked. "But he seemed like a nice enough kid," he said carelessly.

Rob regarded Sebastian, who was avoiding his glance and looking a little _too_ casual. Interesting, indeed.

* * *

A bit later, Karen and Sebastian had just finished talking about their respective high school glee clubs. She left to rescue Lana from Charlie and Sebastian leaned against the doorjamb of the bedroom, surveying the crowded living room. Jay walked up to him, a beer in hand. "Who do I have to pay to get one of those?" he asked with a half-smile, tapping Sebastian's scotch glass with his finger.

Sebastian, looser now on his 2nd or 3rd scotch, looked at him with friendly regard. "No fee, but don't spread it around that I said that. He led the way to the bedroom, which was also crowded with people. "Damn, there are a ton of people in here. I'm pretty sure the wrestling team, Moore and Wilbur Hall have snuck in," he remarked over the din.

"STAY OFF THE BEDS." Sebastian used the voice he used to use to command the Warblers. His classmates sitting on the beds stood up quickly.

Sebastian acknowledged their obedience with a nod, then ducked into the closet and pulled the bottle of scotch out. Jay followed him out to the bar in the living room. Sebastian found a glass and poured Jay a drink while nodding a greeting to David, who had caught his eye from the couch where he was talking with Sebastian's next door neighbor Pauline.

"Thank you kindly, sir." Jay said with a charming smile as Sebastian gave him the scotch. Jay sat down on the barstool and they raised their glasses at each other before taking a drink. After a comfortable pause, Jay spoke up again. "So, you're a legend in the freshman class. News of your exploits have reached Stern Hall."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows.

"Don't be modest," Jay smiled. "I was like, 'I don't know who this Sebastian guy is, but apparently he's a hero on the field and a dances like a dream.' "

Sebastian gave him a cool smile and narrowed his eyes, somewhat impressed by his brazen flirtatiousness.

"So it sucks that I keep missing him."

[](http://imgur.com/NPLTSMW)

Sebastian looked amused. "Well here I am, and don't believe what Thomas and Karen tell you. I'm afraid you'll find I'm more a villain than a hero." It had been awhile since he had been hit on quite like this (Tristan was much more subtle). It was fun.

"Good enough for me," Jay chuckled. He took another gulp of scotch. "So Thomas says you're from Ohio?"

"I'm afraid so," Sebastian said. "You?"

"San Francisco. Spare me the 'Where's Waldo' jokes."

They smiled at each other.

Sebastian shrugged. "I'm guessing a Stanford admissions letter was hard to turn down, even if it is only 30 minutes away from high school."

"Yeah. I didn't get into anywhere better," Jay said with regret. "So I try to wander a bit on weekends to shake things up."

Sebastian was mildly intrigued. "And where do you like to wander?"

"Oh, nowhere too far: Yosemite, Monterey, Big Sur, Santa Barbara, LA, that sort of thing." He turned the conversation back to Sebastian. "You were adventurous, coming out West. Did you consider anywhere else for school?"

Sebastian looked away to recall the list. "Let's see...I got into Penn, Columbia, Princeton, Harvard, USC."

"That's a lot of good schools."

"I wanted to be sure I was going to get the hell out of Ohio."

They smiled at each other again across the bar. David happened to be looking in their direction, and took in the little tableau.

"But Harvard, that's impressive. The admissions office at the Farm would be glad to hear you chose us over Crimson." Jay smiled at him playfully. "Why? Were you bored with all the preppies back east?"

Sebastian shook his head and chuckled. "Ohio is not the east by any stretch of the imagination. I came west for the Valley."

"Of course, the lure of tech." Jay's gray blue eyes glinted. "One of the more alluring industries out west – it's all about the newest, the fastest, the hottest, the sexiest."

Sebastian would have rolled his eyes if he hadn't turned over a new leaf. Plus he respected Jay's flirtatious confidence, finding it an interesting combination with the genuinely sweet smiles. He finished his scotch and added with distaste, "Plus my father went to Harvard…"

"Enough said," Jay nodded with understanding. "So are you are an econ major? Or CS?"

"EE and econ."

Jay whistled. "Impressive. Makes my art major sound pretty lightweight."

Sebastian said with a shake of his head, "Come now, I understand that's more competitive to get into the art program than the school of engineering. Do you draw? Paint?"

"Sculpt. And you have to remember who the pool of applicants are though - hard to compare across schools, I guess. "

"Still, sculpture? Now _I'm_ impressed." Sebastian said. Their glance met again for a moment too long. He stood straighter and stretched his neck out, avoiding Jay's blue eyes.

"It's been harder than I thought it would be, but it's no engineering double major," returned Jay. "I guess that's why I haven't seen you at any of the LGBT meetings?"

"Yeah, sports, acapella and the books keep me occupied." Sebastian replied.

"And what sport do you play that keeps you so busy?"

"Lacrosse and triathlon. I was fencing last quarter but I dropped it. It was too much to do all of it and make the grades for b-school down the road."

Jay looked impressed. "You're juggling a lot - how do you do it? I can barely handle my _one_ major, baseball and LGBT. And I don't even chair any projects or whatever for LGBT. I just come for the grub and company, and volunteer for the odd task."

Sebastian shrugged. "I don't know that I'm 'doing it' yet. I may drop triathlon if lacrosse keeps being as brutal as it was last week."

Jay asked, looking serious. "Does the acapella really help somehow? That's the difference between what's on our plates, besides sheer volume. I need someone else's perspective – I already feel like I've got too much going on and it's only week two."

"I know the feeling," Sebastian said, looking suddenly tired.

"But the acapella…" Jay prodded.

Sebastian shrugged again. "I don't know...performing is just...part of who I am." He smirked and added, "It's also probably the gayest part of who I am."

They laughed heartily together and David looked over from the couch.. Sebastian added, "But it's not for everyone."

Jay's blue eyes really were quite striking. He looked at Sebastian keenly. "What does it do for you? I'm an artist, but I've always thought music seemed, I don't know…vital, as well."

Sebastian looked thoughtful. "It is for me, I guess. I was raised with it. I suppose I get some release with it."

"How so?" Jay was genuinely interested.

Sebastian pondered it some more. "Well, you put a lot into practicing and choreography, but then when you've rehearsed enough, the performance is when you can just cut it all loose and let it all go – that's the most satisfying release."

"That makes sense," Jay said. "An emotional release, right? That's what differentiates a good performer from an great one? The great one doesn't just master the technique, but feels the music and the performance and releases all that emotional energy to the audience, right?"

"That sounds about right," Sebastian said, impressed again. "But you have to find what does that for you. I would have expected sculpting would do that for you."

"No, it's always been more about pouring my energy _into_ something... creating, building. I think you're right, I also need something to _release_ some of my energy, the stress."

[](http://imgur.com/azFIXLf)

Sebastian nodded, thinking David would be proud of him for connecting so personally with someone. "Well come by and see Mixed Company perform sometime and see if it's for you."

"I'm not sure if my singing is up to snuff, but regardless I'd like to see you perform." Jay said in his friendly way. After a pause, he noticed something over Sebastian's shoulder and stood up. "I have to go." He gestured across the room. "I promised my buddy I would be his wingman and I think he's floundering. But…can we talk again? I could really use some more…insights from you, Sebastian. You know, freshman to freshman." He winked.

"Sure," Sebastian said, giving him a half smile. He shook his head at the retreating figure, looking flattered. "Huh," he said under his breath.

* * *

After Jay left him, Sebastian hung out with a number of his lacrosse friends, Karen again, and helped Rob chat with a few girls from Roble. At close to midnight, Sebastian had returned to the bar, leaning his tall form against it and watching the dancing that had begun. Jay came up to him, a little tipsy and looking sweetly flirtatious. "See anything you want, Freshman?" he asked, gesturing to the dancers. "I hear you get what you want."

Sebastian looked at him with amusement. "Most days."

"Well I try to get what I want, too." Jay smiled mysteriously again.

"I bet," Sebastian smirked. "You seem all innocent at first, but you're a baller."

Jay stopped holding back. "And your whole rich badboy thing? Superhot."

Sebastian lifted his chin in surprise. A baller, indeed. He figured it was time to be clear. "Look. Jay. There's someone else."

Jay raised his eyebrows. "You have a boyfriend?"

"Sort of," Sebastian answered, avoiding Jay's blue eyes. "It's complicated."

Jay looked away. " Well, now I'm a little drunk _AND_ a little embarrassed," he said with a rueful grin.

Sebastian gave him a small, gentle smile. "Hey, don't be. Believe me, not so long ago I would have been all over your proposition here. But I'm just giving this thing I've got going on a shot."

"What are you giving a shot?" David seemed to appear from nowhere. He leaned on the bar next to Jay, regarding him warily.

Sebastian said quickly, "Things with Blaine. I was just talking about giving things with Blaine a shot. Jay, this is David Jett– a Cal friend of mine from boarding school, who I invited along this weekend. David, this is Jay Baker."

"Pleasure," David said coolly as they shook hands.

Jay shook his hand and looked abashed.

"And how do we know Jay?" David asked Sebastian.

"Thomas," Jay answered for Sebastian with a small smile. "I was dying to meet Sebastian. And the Stern Hall crowd won't shut up about him. Didn't think he could live up to the hype. But as it turns out…"

Sebastian shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, he's even more impressive in the flesh," David said smoothly. "And you're about to see more reasons why." He turned to Sebastian. "Rob wants you to kick off karaoke."

Sebastian groaned. "No. My throat's a wreck after three scotches and too much beer."

"Then sing Joe Cocker," Rob said, walking up behind David. "You sang it enough in the shower last week. Cocker's voice always sounds like he's had five scotches and a partridge in a pear tree."

Sebastian was dragged off, shaking his head. Jay laughed and waved.

After recruiting Karen and few others from Mixed company to sing back up, Sebastian picked up the microphone, "Hello everyone...glad you could join us in a little Roble-flavored rampaging. Mixed Company is well represented, so we thought we'd kick off karaoke. This one is an old favorite. It's spot-on for tonight, since I've probably had one too many - so I'm not feelin' too good myself. But here's to the rest of you feelin' alright."

The crowd cheered and Sebastian, Karen and two of their teammates launched into it:

_[Hear it[here](http://youtube.com/watch?v=PoGIDHv4oEw)._ _]_

Sebastian had thought over the last week about how appropriate the first verse was to the current state of affairs in his life:

_Seems I've got to have a change of scene_  
 _Every night I have the strangest dreams_  
 _Imprisoned by the way it could have been_  
 _Left here on my own or so it seems_  
 _I've got to leave before I start to scream_  
 _But someone locked the door and took the key_

His back-up joined in with him:  
 __  
 _You feelin' alright_  
 _I'm not feelin' too good myself_  
 _Yes sir, you feelin' alright_  
 _I'm not feelin' that good myself_

_Well boy, you sure took me for one big ride_  
 _And even now I sit and I wonder why_  
 _That when I think of you I start myself to cry_  
 _I just can't waste my time, I must keep dry_

_Gotta stop believing in all your lies_  
 _'Cause there's too much to do before I die_  


_You feelin' alright_  
 _I'm not feelin' too good myself_  


When the song finished, Thomas, David and Rob gathered around Sebastian as Karen started a rendition of "Son of a Preacher Man."

"You represented the Warblers well, son." David said, grinning.

Rob added, "Sounded much better than when you sing it in the shower."

"Backing vocals make a big difference," smirked Sebastian.

"Jay seemed to enjoy it…" Thomas waggled his eyebrows.

They all turned to look at Jay, who was talking with a friend and occasionally glancing up at Karen.

"Blaine really wouldn't like that guy," David said quietly.

"He's harmless," Sebastian said, sipping his water.

* * *

The highlight of any given week in school for Blaine was seeing Sebastian's Skype avatar pop up on his screen.

[](http://imgur.com/ZbXhAA0)

"Hi," Blaine said cheerily. "As much as I love you in a Warbler blazer, you really need to change your avatar now that you've graduated…" His smile widened when Sebastian's image appeared. "What happened?!" he giggled, pointing and laughing.

[](http://imgur.com/dMsZWLk)

"Hey," Sebastian sounded hoarse. "Yes, I know, I look like I'm 12 years old without any product in my hair. And yes, I know, my webcam sucks.

"The party went until like 4AM, and someone apparently thought it would be hilarious to coat the toilet seat with my entire container of product. And the webcam? I don't know, the thing just stopped working and Thomas stole my IPad for some unknown reason last night and I can't find him to get it back. So I'm borrowing this piece of crap laptop in his room until he gets back here. Do you want me to Skype you from my phone? I just like to see your face a little bigger."

Blaine repressed a chuckle. "No, it's fine."

"Oh, stop holding back. I know you want to laugh more, I know I look ridiculous." Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair.

[](http://imgur.com/Fi1bxJ2)

Blaine chortled, "Your hair is adorable. It's more your webcam, you look like you're calling from 1993. Or you look like you have a weird pixelated rash all over your skin."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "ANYWAY...how was your day? Were you hung over when you woke up this morning? Was everyone sober enough to drive all the way back to Edinburgh?" Sebastian yawned in spite of himself.

"No, I wasn't too hungover, mostly just tired this morning." Blaine replied. "And yeah, we had designated drivers so we were fine."

"Did you guys do anything besides travel back today?"

"Yep, we actually went to the beach – the sun finally broke out a couple of hours before we had to leave. It was beautiful but freezing." Blaine looked thoughtful. "It really was a great trip, I feel a lot closer to everyone in the dorm now. I don't know why it's so different than our Thanksgiving trip, it was all the same people."

"You were more homesick and too anxious to become besties with all of them, and less open to just having fun with everyone," remarked Sebastian.

"Thank you, Dr. Smythe," Blaine said sarcastically. "I hate it when you're right, though."

Sebastian shrugged. "Hey, I'm just trying to save you on therapy bills. And I'm just recycling Nina's wisdom."

Blaine looked thoughtful again. "Yeah, ironically just when I decided to accept that my friendships here as only fluffy and fun, I'm starting to feel closer to people. Mary has been nothing but amazing since I got back, cheering me up when I miss you and everything. We've had some great talks, I love her so much. And Liam and I had a really good talk walking on the beach this morning, talking about coming out and the differences between the US and Britain when it comes to LGBT issues."

"I'm just glad he isn't hitting on you anymore," Sebastian smirked.

Blaine laughed. "Liam's a sweetheart, he's just a lot of bluster sometimes, like your friend Thomas." He paused. "Oh, we went to lunch after the beach and I took the cutest picture of Mary and Sam, let me IM it to you… " He hurried to attach the photo for Sebastian.

[](http://imgur.com/wLrtJom)

"Aren't they cute?"

"She's cute. Sam's…Sam. How the hell did Sam land her? I guess the novelty of being the American guy must go a long way," Sebastian chuckled. But then he looked thoughtful as he looked at the photo for longer. "Sam looks good actually…he looks…mature. She must be quite the influence on him."

"She is." Blaine leaned forward into the camera, rest his chin on his hand. "So, how was the party, besides never-ending?"

"Fine, in spite of the overcrowding. We tried to only let in Roble, the tri and lacrosse guys, the band and Mixed Company. But Wilbur Hall, Moore Hall, and the wrestling team snuck in."

"Sounds like a mob scene, alright."

"It wasn't too ridiculous, people were drifting in and out all night. The Lagunita Hall and Sterling Quad folks were in the hot tubs downstairs all night and people were coming in and out of our suite dripping."

"Ugh, messy," Blaine said. "So what else happened? You look like you're holding something back."

"How is it other people find me enigmatic, but you can read me like a book?" Sebastian chuckled.

"Because I enjoy admiring and studying your handsome face," Blaine said sweetly.

"Okay, that sounds creepy," Sebastian smirked.

"Don't change the subject. 'Fess up, Smythe. I'm onto you." Blaine teased.

"Okay, fine. I lost at Truth or Dare and had to pencil in a mustache with Karen's eyeliner pencil and sing Oye Como Va for the crowd at three AM. I looked ridiculous, but l had had enough scotch to think it was fun at the time - everyone was dancing and I think I probably thought I was good."

"You probably were. That sounds awesome!"

"Oh, and Karen ruined my hair while she was playing with it as my salsa dancing back-up singer. You should see the instagram of it with the mustache, I know you're going to pee in your pants laughing."

"SEND ME THE LINK!" Blaine shouted with delight.

Sebastian clicked over to the photo still open on the laptop. "It's on /JessicaTracyJones. Jessica is the resident gossip at Roble," Sebastian rolled his eyes. "And don't get too excited, it's just a picture of a couple of us drinking afterwards, I haven't seen any of the performance yet – no video yet, either. Mainly because I think people are still asleep or are stupidly out skiing while hungover."

Blaine's fingers flew to pull up the picture on his Ipad. "Oh god, that mustache's good!" he giggled.

[](http://imgur.com/VeQA2ow)

"Never speak of this to anyone. Especially Santana," Sebastian said darkly.

"Fine, but it's not so bad," Blaine said, grinning. "I kind of like it…you're kind of like a young Burt Reynolds."

"Burt Reynolds didn't have a mustache when he was young," chuckled Sebastian, shaking his head. "You look more like a young Burt Reynolds than I do."

"Oh, that's right," smiled Blaine. "Anyway, the mustache is kind of cute. And so is the bedhead."

"Well I knew you would like that. When do I get to give you bedhead? Or any kind of head?" Sebastian waggled his eyebrows.

"SEB!" laughed Blaine, turning bright red. "Are you still drunk?"

"Nope," Sebastian grinned proudly.

"You're terrible. Sam has a bunch of guys over to watch something on TV, just outside my door!"

"Well then lock the door…" Sebastian winked at him.

Blaine blushed again. "Stop. Now who are these others in the picture with you?"

Sebastian paused, looking unsure for a split second. "Uh…the girl next to me is Pauline, she's my next door neighbor. She's pre-med and tells us about the disgusting physiology labs she does – Rob loves it for some weird reason. She's from Seattle and she plays guitar so she's been bugging me to sing stuff with her in the dorm lounge.

"The guy next to her is Roger. He lives upstairs, he's a baseball player and is sort of the ringleader of the jocks in our dorm, always pulling us out to play basketball for study breaks in our back courtyard, that sort of thing. He and Thomas love to play badminton there too, which is the weirdest sport, if you asked me.

"And next to him is um…Jay. Uh, Jay lives in Stern Hall..." Sebastian paused, at a loss for words.

"Wait, that's a different one than the others you said! Yikes, how big was this suite?" Blaine chuckled.

Sebastian looked oddly apologetic. "No. Sorry, I forgot to mention that Thomas invited the baseball team, so some of those baseball guys came who live in different dorms. Jay's, uh…a baseball player" Sebastian shifted in his seat and swiftly changed the subject. "Okay, so I have an even better story for you than the mustache thing. At dinner..."

Blaine had been idly studying the photo and interrupted. "Wait, what are you drinking in the picture? What are all the leaves?"

"Mint. They were mojitos, it's a Cuban drink. Thomas was mixing them."

"And why does Jay look so nervous?"

Sebastian hesitated. "Uh…I don't know. I don't think he was nervous," he said hastily, "Now, seriously - you have to hear what happened at dinner…"

Blaine obliviously interrupted again, "And are Pauline and Roger a couple?" She's so pretty."

"Not yet. Roger's deciding between her and Katie from upstairs." Sebastian looked strangely pleased to discuss this. "My money's on Katie, she's got serious game. All night she and Pauline were throwing each other death glares. Everyone thought a cat fight was going to break out."

"I can't believe you noticed all this. Since when do you even care about this kind of thing?" cut in Blaine, smiling. "Your complete lack of interest in gossip has always fascinated me… what is Stanford doing to you?" he laughed heartily.

Sebastian shrugged, "I didn't notice the bitch glares, Thomas told me about them. I only know about them because he was yammering on and on about it – he said he didn't care who won, he wanted the sloppy seconds. That guy has no shame."

Blaine's mind was wandering off elsewhere. "And was there any gay romantic drama? How many gays and lesbians were there?"

"Not too many," Sebastian said hastily, glancing away from the camera. "No drama that I remember." He added quickly, "Now, are you ready for this? I got bitchslapped at dinner."

"WHAT?!"

Sebastian nodded slowly, and rolled his eyes. "Yes, you heard me right. Bitchslapped. Now I only tell you this story because I trust you not to spread it around, and in hopes that it will start me down the road towards being able to laugh about it. But only with you. No telling Sam."

Blaine finally closed his mouth, which had been hanging open. "Okay, okay, okay. Tell me more!"

Sebastian took a deep breath and rolled his eyes again. "The short of it is Thomas and I got into a pissing match over dinner about the pranks we've pulled in the past and then without telling me, he escalated things of course. He wrote a pornographic note to the hostess at the restaurant and told her it was from me. Then she came up before dessert and slapped the hell out of me. She left a red mark on my cheek."

"Oh no," Blaine said tremulously. "Did it hurt really bad?"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. "You don't fool me. Laugh it up, fuzzball."

Blaine couldn't hold back a huge smile and he started to giggle again. "No need to call names!" He kept trying to stop laughing, only to start again.

[](http://imgur.com/x8NXp23)

"I'm not, I just know you're about to make a Chewbacca noise when you start crying from laughing so hard. I'm hanging up now." Sebastian rolled his eyes and leaned forward towards the laptop to the end the call.

Finally Blaine raised a hand and panted, "No, no, I'll stop. I'll stop." He gasped, smiling from ear to ear. "Hold on, let me catch my breath." He wiped his eyes and tried to look serious. "I'm sorry, that must have hurt and been a horrifying shock. And that's terrible for that girl. Did Thomas apologize to her?"

"She wouldn't hear anything from any of us," Sebastian rolled his eyes again. He looked away from the camera. "Hey B, Rob's waving at me to get in some skiing before it gets too late. And I think I'd like to give Thomas a little payback on the slopes. Is it okay if we cut it short this week? Unless you have anything else you wanted to say?"

"Nope," Blaine said. "Just that I miss you."

"Miss you too, Killer. I'll email you soon. We still have to reschedule Cary Grant."

"Okay. Don't get into too much trouble pranking Thomas. Remember, a proportional response." Blaine warned. "Bye!" he waved.

"Remember, keep laughing at me behind my back. Bye." Sebastian winked and smiled into the camera.

It wasn't until they hung up that Blaine's glance landed on the caption of the Instagram of Sebastian:

[](http://imgur.com/VeQA2ow)

_Don't let the pictures leave your phone, RogerKempkes. What do you think guys, are he and PaulineCriss the couple most likely, or are the odds with another match for Mr. K?_

_They are flanked by another potential pairing who looked adorable together tonight, at least according to the buzz around the room: JayTBaker, who was a credit to the gays by looking like a hot model who stepped out of a hipster ski wear catalogue; and our mysterious host and sexy karaoke star Sebastian Smythe, who not only needs to get an instagram account, but who also didn't get the memo that Movember is over._

* * *

"Blaine. Blaine? BLAINE!"

Blaine turned slowly around. "Yeah?"

"We're going to grab some pizza. You want to come?" Sam asked from the doorway to Blaine's bedroom, his arm around Mary's waist.

"Uh...no." Blaine said distractedly, his eyes wide and troubled.

"What's wrong?" Sam and Mary said together, coming into his room and looking concerned.

"LOOK," Blaine said tragically. He pointed at the Instagram up on his laptop.

"Is that Seb?" squinted Sam. "Did he grow a mustache? That's hilarious!"

Mary was reading the caption. "Uh-oh."

Blaine nodded at her, eyes shiny.

"Uh-oh what?" Sam asked.

"Read the caption, lovey." Mary said, rubbing Blaine's back.

Blaine drew a deep breath and stood up from his chair. "Well I guess I can't do anything about it. But it still sucks," he said dejectedly.

"Well it only says the _LOOKED_ adorable together," Mary pointed out. "It doesn't mean anything happened – it's just gossip."

"Yeah, but even if it's gossip, it has to be based on something," Blaine argued quietly, sitting down on is bed and looking miserable. "They must have been seen together at least. Why didn't he tell me that he talked to this Jay person?"

"Probably because he talked to a lot of people – it was a party – so he didn't think it was worth mentioning this one guy." Sam said, looking stern.

"This one _hot gay_ guy," Blaine said dejectedly.

Sam shook his head . "They probably didn't talk about anything interesting, so it didn't mean enough to Seb to say anything about it to you."

Blaine nodded slowly, seeing his logic. "But if it was so insignificant and uninteresting, why did the whole room think they looked so adorable? What if there was more than just talking, maybe that's what made it adorable…" Blaine trailed off, eyes full of tears again. "If they looked adorable it means they were flirting, at least." He clapped a hand to his forehead and fell backwards on the bed. "Or what if there was more than flirting, maybe they were adorable doing more than flirting…"

"Whoa,"Mary said. "You're getting carried away. If they were snogging, they probably would have said something about THAT in the caption."

"Not necessarily," Sam said. Mary glared at him. "But dude, do you really believe he'd do that to you? He told you he would wait for you, right? Seb wouldn't say that and not mean it."

Blaine had been quietly listening, staring at the ceiling. Then he sat up, shaking himself. "You're right. He wouldn't do that to me. I asked him to talk to me if waiting got to be too hard, and he would have done that before doing anything. He doesn't lose control when he's drinking."

He continued talking, more to himself than Mary and Sam. "I'm sure they weren't doing anything besides maybe flirting. He loves flirting at parties when he gets bored. He used to flirt with the Warblers at parties to mess with their girlfriends' heads. It doesn't mean anything to him."

"Yes, a little flirting is harmless!" Mary said, nodding.

"Yeah, I guess it's harmless..." Blaine sighed. "But it doesn't mean I have to like it. God, LOOK at that Jay guy – he's REALLY hot. He looks like he could be a model, look at his bone structure! And I bet he's tall. He looks tall."

Sam rolled his eyes. "They are sitting down, Blaine – you can't tell if he's tall from a picture of him sitting down."

Mary added, "And everyone looks like they have good bone structure when they are sucking on a straw."

Blaine's brow furrowed. "He must not have seen the caption, otherwise he would have said something about it. But I asked him who was in the picture and he said a bunch of stuff about the other two, but he didn't say ANYTHING about Jay. He just said…'Jay lives in Blah-Blah hall…' Is that weird he didn't say that they talked, and that he didn't say more about him?'"

"NO," Sam said trying to be the voice of reason again. "It just means he doesn't know anything about him or doesn't have anything interesting to say about him."

"Or it means he's hiding something from me." Blaine murmured, his eyes narrowing. Then he stopped himself, sitting upright again, eyes widening. "What am I saying? God, I'm turning into this crazy jealous person. You're right. He probably didn't say anything about him because he doesn't know him very well. The other two live in his dorm and this…" Blaine's voice turned disdainful. "This _JAY_ guy lives in Blah-Blah Hall."

He continued, his mind still racing. "You know when I specifically asked why Jay looked nervous in the picture, Seb said he didn't know and that he didn't think Jay was nervous and then changed the subject pretty quickly. I guess that probably just means he barely talked to him." Blaine quirked an eyebrow. "But how is that possible at such a tiny little table?"

Sam leaned down to look at the picture again. "Seb can get quiet when he's drinking, he was like that at the Tavern over vacation. He looks pretty hammered in that picture. He probably didn't say much to anyone, let alone notice if any of them were nervous or purple or Croatian."

Blaine nodded and drew another deep breath. "Right. But if they barely talked, then why was the room buzzing that they are a potential couple?"

"They probably barely talked at the table when they took that picture, but maybe they talked earlier or after," Sam said. "Or both."

"You're not helping," Mary hissed under her breath.

"Ugh," Blaine said. "I know he likes to flirt, but why does he have to do it with a hot gay guy? I liked it better when he flirted with the straight or questioning Warblers!"

Sam suggested, "Maybe he didn't flirt. Maybe Jay is into him and everyone in the room saw it, but Sebastian wasn't into him."

Blaine bit his lip. "But if that were true they wouldn't be called a potential pairing, it would have been phrased differently. It would have been a joke about Jay getting rejected. Sebastian must have been responding in _some_ way."

"Responding to flirting doesn't mean you'll do anything. He was probably just flattered. Like he was with that guy at the Tavern!" Sam said.

Blaine groaned. "Let's not visualize the time when a hot gay guy was hitting on him right in front of me, Sam. That doesn't help."

Mary hit Sam in the arm and he yelped.

Blaine looked at them and apologized. "I'm sorry, Sam. I know you're just trying to be comforting." He sighed. "And you know what? I really have no right to be offended if he flirted or did anything else...we're not dating, he doesn't owe me any kind of explanation."

Mary suggested gently, "That's true, but still...maybe next time you talk to Sebastian you just ask him about Jay and the caption. You don't have to accuse him or anything, but I think you'll feel better once you just get his side of the story. The girl whose Instagram that is sounds like an awful gossip."

Blaine looked at her miserably. "I don't want to seem pathetic though, Mary. And I don't want him to think I don't trust him or that I'm guilting him. He should be able to flirt with people for fun – he likes it, it's a lark for him."

"But if you hate it, he should stop doing it." Sam said stoutly.

"I don't have a right to say anything, I'm not his boyfriend," Blaine responded with another sigh. "He shouldn't have to give up all his fun to wait for me. I don't want to ask him to stop having fun completely."

"There are other ways for him to have fun that don't involve worrying you so much," Sam said. "And if you told him to stop I bet he'd stop."

"I'm not going to ask him to stop," Blaine dug in his heels.

Mary urged, "Okay, but just think about talking to him about this bloody caption, at least. This bloke probably means nothing to him. He's probably forgotten about him already…they're probably going to go back to their different dorms and won't talk again until maybe the next massive party where everyone will talk about them again just because they are the best looking gay guys in the room."

Blaine looked hopeful at her words. Sebastian's text tone sounded on Blaine's phone.

_SEB: Waiting for the stuck ski lift, mechanical issue, everyone is freaking out but they say it's a minor issue. It's gorgeous today, you would love it out here. Here's a pic we just took that shows you the view from back terrace of the resort -I was thinking I haven't sent you any pics yet._

Attached was a photo of Sebastian and a large group of classmates crowded together in the foreground of a breathtaking view of the Sierra Nevada mountains. Sebastian was laughing at something someone was saying and looking like a big kid. Standing next to him, laughing with him and looking impossibly handsome, with a gorgeous smile and a hand on Sebastian's shoulder, was a classmate who was unmistakably JayTBaker. And he definitely looked at least five foot ten.

* * *

"Mija," Sebastian yawned as he answered his phone while walking to lacrosse practice..

"What did you call me?" Santana arched a brow.

"Mija. I am meeting more Latinos out here. I'm learning stuff."

"Don't. Just don't."

"Mija, Mija, Mija!" taunted Sebastian, chuckling.

"I'm hanging up now…"

Sebastian said in his most posh British voice, "Very well then, Ms. Santana Rosalia Lopez, greetings and salutations."

"Stop it, you idiot. Just confirming we're on for Presidents' Day next month."

"Yes. Do you plan to still be with Dani, or should I line up some lesbian tail for you?"

"Shut up, of course I'll still be with Dani."

"How lackluster of you."

"I'd rather skip the excitement you and Blaine have going on."

Sebastian still felt a sting. "Bitch!"

"Whore!"

"I should meet this chick who can tolerate you for such impressive lengths of time. You should bring her out to see me. You can show her how much better a California vacation can be than that sad little Florida adventure you're on."

"Hey, we're having a fantastic time in Florida right now, it is 70 degrees and it's not even 10AM."

"That's right, it's before 10AM. What the hell are _you_ doing up before 10AM?"

"Commercial shoots can start that early, you moron. Remember that's why I'm actually here - some of us actually have to earn our own money, trust fund boy."

"Is Dani standing there, listening to you abuse me? Because I want to talk to her and tell her all about some of your drunken Cleopatra antics on Halloween."

"She's not here, and even if she were I wouldn't let you talk to her. She's too good for you."

"Let her determine that for herself, I'm sure after just a few minutes with me she'll be smitten by my charms." He paused, looking thoughtful. "Seriously, bring her out this time. If you do I'll upgrade you to a suite your hotel."

Santana lit up with a smile not many got to see from her. "Really? What's the catch?"

[](http://imgur.com/vIkHtIX)

"No catch. I just want to check her out and see if she might be a better hag than you."

"Then I'm definitely not bringing her."

"Oh come on, I'll be on my best behavior."

"Your best behavior is still obnoxious."

"If you don't bring her I'll just end up getting a hold of her through Berry or someone and bringing her out on her own. Then we can talk about you behind your back."

"(A) Rachel hates you; (B) Dani would never come out to see you."

"(A) Berry creams her panties every time she sees me, even though she says she hates me. She wants me to turn bisexual even more than Quinn does; (B) I know you say nice things about me to Dani behind my back, I'm sure she can't wait to meet me. Plus, everyone has their price. She's a rock and roll woman, yes? I'm sure the offer of shopping spree at Guitar Center in San Francisco with me get her on a plane to meet me; And (C), who uses (A), (B), and (C) when they talk? You have been around douche-peddling marketing executives too long."

"You're the one who added (C)."

"Are you asking her to come, or not?"

"Fine, I'll ask her, if you insist," Santana smiled.

"I insist. Then confirm with me and let me know what flights you want and I'll book them and the suite with my miles." Sebastian said. "Hurry up, they expire soon," he lied.

"Okay. Hey, how was Tahoe? Did you run over or impale anyone with your skis?"

"You weren't there to run over or impale, so why would I? But I did get into a prank war and put a sign on my buddy's back before he went skiing that said 'I am having a testicle removed tomorrow and I have not had sex in two years, please flirt with me,'" grinned Sebastian. "He thought he was doing so well with the ladies until some nice idiot blew our cover."

Santana chuckled. "Nice. And what did he do to you?"

Sebastian groaned. "No comment."

"Give it up, I will keep bitching at you until you do."

"Try me."

"Do you really want me start hounding you about Blaine again?"

"Fine. This goes nowhere – especially not to Hummel or Berry."

"Understood."

"Thomas gave a pornographic note to some restaurant hostess and told her it was from me. She came over and bitchslapped me so hard she left a fucking handprint on my cheek."

"Gah!" Santana snorted with laughter. "That's a good one!"

"I don't know why I tell you anything."

Santana was still laughing.

"Are you done yet?"

Still more laughter. Sebastian even heard wheezing.

"Yo, Harriet Hyena… earth to Harriet Hyperventilating Hyena…"

More gales of laughter.

"Call me back when you're done laughing at my expense. Warning, I'm going to start attempting Spanish again...maybe I'll buy myself a sombrero, too. And get 'Courtesy of my BFF Santana Lopez.' embroidered on it. "

"Did the slapper have the management throw you out?" Santana was wiping her eyes and breathless.

"No, we left before she could," grumbled Sebastian. "Are you done yet?"

"Almost," panted Santana before going off into more peals of laughter.

"I'll have you know I had the last word with my final prank and Thomas begged me for a truce."

"What did you do?" Santana finally stopped laughing out of curiosity.

"Waxed his skis with lube, more or less. Not enough to be actually dangerous, but enough to make him feel like it was life threatening. The look on his face was gold," he chuckled. "I thought he might be soiling himself."

Santana had to chuckle. "Well played, son," she said, raising her eyebrows and looking impressed. "I approve! It's not often I'm proud to call you my friend, but this is one of those times."

"Hey, my prank was much more creative than his and was employed over a much longer period of time. How come you laughed so much harder at his stupid prank?"

"Because I don't know him. It's so much more fun to imagine you getting punk'd. And because you got SLAPPED!"

"Remind me why we're still friends?"

"Because I know all of your deepest, dirtiest secrets – and ooh, and that was another one!"

"Yeah, you'd better keep that secret or you can kiss your Valentine's tryst with Dani here in California goodbye. And you don't know half of my secrets, by the way - you'd be terrified if you knew the real truth about me. And don't you die a little more inside every time you remember that you only have friends because you blackmail them?"

Santana asked too casually, "So did anything else interesting happen this weekend?"

"Hosted a party in my suite, where all kinds of shenanigans happened that I'm not telling you about."

Santana chuckled. "You hosted a party? How Martha Stewart of you…what happened to Mopey!Seb I talked to last week?"

"I was not mopey."

"Whatever...I'm impressed you were in a party frame of mind. Who was there?"

"Lacrosse and triathlon guys, my dorm, baseball guys, Rob's band people, Mixed Company."

"Sounds potentially guy-candy heavy…nice for you, Slick. Wait, which of these things are not like the other? Why the baseball team?"

Sebastian hesitated for a split second. "Thomas wanted to invite them."

"He gay?"

"No. He's just friends with some of the guys." Sebastian ran a hand through his hair.

"Why do you sound weird?"

"I don't sound weird," Sebastian said automatically.

"Okay, the auto-reply of 'I don't sound weird' to the question 'Why do you sound weird?' is an automatic confirmation that something weird is going on."

"'Tana, what size straitjacket are you wearing these days? I think we need to get you fitted for a tighter one."

"Seb, just give it up."

"There is nothing weird going on."

"Not according to my Mexican third eye."

"Not again with the third eye," Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"It's never wrong. Why did you sound weird when you were talking about the baseball team? Did you sleep with one of them?"

"No, nothing happened."

"Nothing happened when? With who?"

"No one."

"Did you make-out with one of them? It's okay, you can tell me – I won't tell Blaine."

"No, I did not make out with anyone."

"Did you flirt with anyone?"

"No…"

"Okay, now I know you're lying. You flirt with any hot gay, or hot guy for that matter, within a mile radius of you in any social setting. _Especially_ if Blaine's not there."

"I do not," Sebastian lied.

"At the Tavern, Tristan; At my graduation party, my cousin Enrique; At Sugar's Christmas party your senior year, Jake Puckerman. Do you want me to go on? It's okay, I'm not judging - who was it?"

"As if you are capable of not judging."

"Ah, so there IS something to judge."

"No there is not. I'm hanging up now, you're ridiculous when you get on one of your Mexican Third Eye trips."

"It's okay to flirt and have fun even though you had sex with Blaine. You're not boyfriends, remember?"

Sebastian hesitated. "Hasta la vista, Snix."

"Come out with it, Seb. I know you, you don't get this pissy with me unless you're upset about something or you're hiding something. Who was he?"

"There was no 'he' – really hanging up now."

"I'm serious when I say that you are absolutely in the clear with this. Blaine flirts with people when he's drinking…"

Silence.

"Just spill it, it's okay..."

Silence.

"Hey…you there? Hello?" Santana looked surprised. "Holy hell, that bastard really hung up on me," she muttered to herself as she looked at her phone.

* * *

"Okay, Team Seblaine has intel for you," Sam barged into Blaine's bedroom early Wednesday morning, Mary on his heels.

Blaine clutched his damp towel around his waist and yelled in unison with Mary, "SAM! KNOCK FIRST!"

Mary bolted from the room calling, "Sorry, Blainers!"

Sam covered his eyes. "Oops, sorry man. But I have news for you. Can I stay if I promise to keep my eyes covered?"

"Yes, but hurry up." Blaine said, rolling his eyes and rapidly pulling on his clothes.

Sam bounced on his toes. "Okay, I called Santana and got her to call Seb to see what happened at the party."

Blaine's eyes widened like saucers. "SAM!"

" She said she couldn't get confirmation from Sebastian, but she suspects strongly that flirting happened. "She said he was acting weird but she doesn't think he kissed or slept with anyone."

Mary lightly slapped Sam on the back of his head and said incredulously, "THAT'S what you've been keeping from me all morning? That doesn't tell us anything new!"

"Well I thought he didn't do anything. This almost confirms that he did flirt."

Mary shook her head. " _Almost_ confirms. We already know he probably did flirt, based on the caption saying everyone thought they looked adorable together."

Blaine shook his head and sighed. "Can we please stop replaying this in my head? Sam, please don't ask her to do anything else. Seb's going to figure out what she's doing – he's knows her so well – and then he's going to think I'm the one sending her to dig out details. I'm just coming around to the idea of just accepting whatever he did at that party." His voice trembled a little and Mary came over to pat him on the arm.

Sam said sympathetically, "It's the unknown, that's the worst part, isn't it? You just imagine the worst kind of flirting, huh?"

Blaine nodded despondently. "Not even Seb so much. It's not knowing what that Jay guy was doing - just looking at him with his hand on Sebastian in that ski picture made my stomach turn. Ugh I keep picturing him all sexy and drunk, climbing Sebastian's lap and..." he petered off, burying his head on Mary's shoulder. Sam came over and Mary gently moved Blaine's head onto Sam's shoulder and he gave Blaine a bear hug.

She looked at the two friends hugging but didn't have the heart to tease.

* * *

"Blainers, what is wrong?" Tina didn't bother with greetings when she picked up Blaine's Skype voice call. "Your text scared me."

"I'm sorry, Tay-Tay. I didn't mean to scare you. I just really wanted to talk to you. I'm having a hard week." Blaine sounded blue.

"Oh no, what happened? What changed so quickly since yesterday when we texted?"

"Nothing happened yesterday, it was over the weekend…I just didn't say anything yesterday because I was trying to get through the week on my own steam. I'm really trying to get to a peaceful place about all this…but I can't stop thinking about it, and not in a good way." Blaine rubbed his forehead.

"Thinking about what?"

"Well, Sebastian went to Tahoe this weekend with a bunch of other freshmen…and he threw this party and someone took an instagram of him and he showed it to me while we were on a skype call, but I don't think he saw the caption. But I saw the caption after we hung up and it said that he and this other really hot gay guy in the picture were a 'promising pair' and looked 'adorable together...according to the buzz around the room.'"

"Ooooh," Tina grimaced. "I'm so sorry, Blainers!" She took a drink of her coffee.

"That's it?" Blaine looked surprised. "Where's my Tina-rant? I called because I want someone to rant for me, or with me!"

Tina sighed. "You _want_ me to rant? I didn't think you'd want me to - you are always defending him and telling me not to be mad at him. And anyway, I don't really have the right to be ranting. If anything, I just feel really bad because I'm the one who said you guys shouldn't date right now, and now here he is, flirting with other guys and you can't do anything about it."

"I know!" Blaine said with frustration.

"Maybe you guys should have just started dating," Tina remarked. "That way when he flirted with other guys you could do something about it – you could make him stop."

Blaine said quietly, "If we were dating I would like to think he wouldn't flirt with other guys."

"Oh okay," Tina said, backpedaling. "Sorry, you know him better than I do…"

Blaine growled, "I just hate not being able to ask him what happened. He didn't even tell me that he talked to this guy!"

"Of course he wasn't going to tell you he talked to a hot gay guy," Tina said. "Even if nothing happened, he would have known you wouldn't like to hear about it."

"That's true," Blaine nodded. "Or, Sam said maybe he didn't say anything because they didn't talk about anything interesting enough to be mentioned."

"Sure," Tina said as reassuringly as she could.

"Anyway, I'm sure he was just flirting, nothing more than that. He said he would wait for me and I know he wouldn't say that unless he really was going to do that. He was just flirting…I know that about him, he's a flirt when he goes out to bars and parties – or at least he gives off this flirtatious vibe. It's in his DNA. Heck, I get flirty when I drink too much, so who am I to complain? So why do I let this bother me so much?"

Tina kept silent, sensing he wasn't finished.

Blaine sighed. "I guess it's because the flirting, especially with a guy this hot – I just texted you the picture – it just reminds me that there are a lot of hot guys out there who would jump at the chance to be with Seb. And maybe, just maybe, he'll end up falling for one of them. He might not mean to, he might really be trying to wait for me…but what if he can't help it? You can't choose the timing on love, I've learned that with him!"

"Eek…"

"What?"

"Sorry, I just opened the Instagram. He _is_ hot."

Blaine groaned. "Yes, he's superhot and he goes to Stanford so he's smart, too." He fell backwards on his bed.

Tina was silent.

"I can hear you thinking, Tina. Tell me what you are thinking."

"Nothing."

"Tell me, I can take it. This is the other reason I called you, I need The Real Deal According to Tina Cohen-Chang. You should really start a web series."

Tina chuckled in spite of herself and then asked seriously, "You really want my thoughts on this?"

"Yes, I want to know what you think about it and what you think I should do. Sam gives me great hugs, but I need advice."

"Okay…" Tina took a deep breath. "First of all, I can't imagine Sebastian falling in love with anyone else if he's already in love with you. So you probably have nothing to worry about there with this Instagram. This chick probably just thinks they are both cute and so they should be dating because they _look_ adorable together. Like literally, this guy is standard-issue-adorable, so together they look adorable. The Jay guy's adorable envelops Sebastian's grumpiness and Sebastian's sexiness adds to the adorableness. But it's a white-straight-girl fantasy. End of story."

Blaine laughed. "So your advice is to forget all this and just knock this girl's teeth in when I visit Stanford?"

"Sure," Tina chuckled.

"There's more...I can tell you're hesitating. What else do you think?"

"Well...honestly, I think this could be an opportunity. You should think about this as a test."

"A test of Sebastian's...commitment? I don't think I can really..." Blaine was befuddled.

"No, a test of your commitment to yourself." Tina paused and took a deep breath. "I want you to really think about this, like one of Mr. Schue's lessons – think about how all of this is making you feel, how you are reacting to it. You said that what is hardest is the idea that Sebastian might fall in love with someone else. Like I said, I don't think that's happened this weekend, but what if it did? What would be your response be to that?

Blaine was slient.

"You've been talking about getting to a place where you can be happy without a boyfriend, but up until now you have been secure in knowing that Sebastian has been waiting in the wings for you. But now this Instagram scare has made you feel for the first time that maybe Sebastian might not end up waiting. Imagine if this Jay guy really did lure Sebastian in and you had to be without him. Use that idea to help you get to where you want to be personally."

Tears welled up in Blaine's big hazel eyes.

"I feel terrible even saying this. It's a horrible thing to think about. I don't want this for you, Blaine. I want things to work out the way you want them. But as you said, it's hard to know what will happen. You don't plan love, you don't know what can happen. What if he does fall in love with someone else at Stanford before you decide to become official boyfriends? Or maybe after you presumably start dating for real, something happens and you two grow apart, or he falls in love with someone he works with, or whatever? Again, I'm not saying any of this will happen, but the point of this year is to get you to a place where you can live with the idea that you're going to be okay if you and he, or for that matter, you and anyone else, don't work."

Blaine nodded bravely.

"Are you still there? Are you okay?" Tina asked worriedly.

"Yes, sorry, I was just nodding." Blaine answered taking a deep breath. "Go ahead."

Tina continued, still looking worried. "You've told me you want to be a stronger person – this is one way to get stronger. Don't call him until your regular call this weekend. Get yourself to a mental space where you can truly accept that a life without Sebastian or any other boyfriend could be a happy option in life... even just for a little while."

"That makes sense," Blaine said quietly.

Tina bit her lip and went on. "I know, easier said than done. But you know what, you are an amazing person all by yourself. You don't need a guy to be fantastic. You're talented, smart, you have honor and integrity, you are an amazing friend. I want you to be happy with that, with who you are. Your happiness shouldn't hang on whether or not you have a boyfriend, right? You have so many friends who support you and you have a great family, too."

"Right…" Blaine said slowly.

"I know, it's hard to imagine not being with Sebastian that way, you want that so much right now. I know he's occupying such a big space in your heart that you can't imagine not being able to hold him there. I felt that way about Mike. But just in concept, think about what I'm saying. What would happen if you guys had to break up?"

"We aren't even together, we can't break up…" Blaine said hollowly.

"Whatever, your hearts are there, come on. But if he fell in love with someone else, what would happen?"

There was a long pause. Blaine took a few deep breaths. Finally, he composed himself and said with conviction, "I know what I wouldn't want to happen. I wouldn't want to fall apart like I did when Kurt and I broke up."

Tina said reasonably, "Well you would probably would fall apart for at least a little while at first. Everyone does at first. But then what?"

"I would want to…I would want to work at being happy. Cooper says sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. I wouldn't want to just float and isolate myself like I did the fall of our senior year. I wouldn't want to turn down the lead in another big musical."

Tina nodded. "That sounds great, Blainers. I bet you could get back to work, gather your friends around you and work your way through it until you could find joy again."

"I bet I could," Blaine said, wanting to believe himself so much that it felt like a prayer.

* * *

Mr. Billson turned to the class. "I know I normally give you your assignment on Monday, but the lesson for next week is a big one, so I wanted to give you the weekend to work on it.

"We've covered a lot of the basic technical details of singing for the theatre, including breath control and movement while singing, but what I want to add next week is something equally important for you to develop in your craft: the emotional component of singing for the theatre. Singing is not just about telling the plot or developing the character of a story, it is also about expressing the emotion of that story and your character.

"So for next week I would like you to individually sing a song that means something to you personally. No props, costumes, lights, staging or choreography. It will be an "unplugged" week, so to speak. Employ the singing techniques in terms of breathing, etc. but focus on feeling the song. So if I were you I would pick a song you know technically pretty well so you can focus on really conveying emotional honesty. So I'm not talking about melodrama, and don't try too hard. I want authenticity. I'm sure you worked on this in prior training you've had, but we're going to take this to another level, I'll be giving you a lot of specific feedback and ask you a lot of questions.

"To demonstrate, I asked Blaine to sing his song first today. He actually requested the chance to sing this, and when I heard what he wanted to sing I decided to move this lesson from sixth week up to next week. So you can thank him for not having to dance much next week, Maury."

The class chuckled. Blaine came up with his guitar.

[](http://imgur.com/35QYuIq)

[Hear it here.](http://http://vimeo.com/34427023)

_Listen as your day unfolds_  
Challenge what the future holds  
Try and keep your head up to the sky 

_Lovers, they may cause you tears_  
 _Go ahead, release your fears_  
 _Stand up and be counted_  
 _Don't be ashamed to cry_

_You gotta be, you gotta be bad_  
 _You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser_  
 _You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough_  
 _You gotta be stronger_

_You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm_  
 _You gotta stay together_  
 _All I know, all I know_  
 _Is love will save the day_

_Herald what your mother said_  
 _Read the books your father read_  
 _Try and solve the puzzles_  
 _In your own sweet time_

_Some may have more cash than you_  
 _Others have a different view_  
 _My, oh, my, hey, hey , hey_

_You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold_  
 _You gotta be wiser_  
 _You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough_  
 _You gotta be stronger_

_You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm_  
 _You gotta stay together_  
 _All I know, all I know_  
 _Is love will save the day_

_Time asks no questions_  
 _It goes on without you_  
 _Leaving you behind_  
 _If you can't stand the pace_

_The world keeps on spinning_  
 _You can't stop it if you try to_  
 _The best part is_  
 _Danger staring you in the face_

_Ohh, well then listen as your day unfolds_

A couple of Blaine's classmates began to sing in rounds with him:

_(You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold)_  
 _Challenge what the future holds_  
 _(You gotta be wiser)_

_Try to keep your head up to the sky_  
 _(You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough)_  
 _(You gotta be stronger)_

_Lovers, they may cause you tears_  
 _(You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm)_  
 _Go ahead release your fears_  
 _(You gotta stay together)_

_My, oh, my, hey, hey, hey_  
 _(All I know, all I know)_  
 _(Is love will save the day)_

Blaine smiled as he received a standing ovation from his classmates. _Love will save the day._

* * *

Rob called from his bedroom, "Seb! You gotta see the Instagram Jessica posted of Thomas coming down the mountain on your butter-skis. The look of terror on his face is beyond priceless."

"Send me the link," Sebastian called back.

He heard Rob's laptop snap shut. "Sorry, I just shut down – just go on her Instagram, it's like the 3rd or 4th most recent. I seriously don't know how that girl has time to study with all the stuff she posts."

"Maybe she doesn't have to study. Maybe she's sleeping with her professors."

Rob's emerged into the living room where Sebastian sat at their small table. "For a gay guy, you are envisioning a really inappropriate, heterosexual scenario."

"I overheard a lot of crap TV shows while playing video games at Santana's house in high school. I think that was a plot on 90210. What is Jessica's handle again?"

"JessicaTJones or Jessica…TracyJones? It's linked on her Facebook though, I think."

"I'm not sure I'm friends with her on Facebook." Sebastian stood up to stretch his back.

Rob was tying his Converse. "The link's probably public even if you're not. It's probably linked on her Twitter, too – that's all public."

"What's her Twitter? Can't you just send me the link while you're walking?"

"No. Because I am your roommate and am committed to your continued skill development, I am going to demonstrate a little tough love and force you to figure this little social networking problem out on your own. And this way maybe you will accept all the friend and follow requests you need to accept - all our friends keep asking me if you didn't get them or if you hate them."

"The latter. I'm wiped out from lacrosse this morning, just send me the link," groaned Sebastian.

Rob was putting on his jacket. "If you're tired go take a nap and when I come back and I'll pull it up for you. I'll be back soon, I'm just going across the way. I just want ten minutes to not be looking at a screen, no matter how small it is. Have fun on your Blaine-call." Rob gave his roommate one of his gentle smiles and the door clicked shut behind him.

Sebastian pulled up Jessica's account on the first try and smiled at the main photo in her account's banner - Thomas' during what surely felt like a death-defying ride down the slope in Tahoe.

One of the other photos in the banner was the photo he had shared with Blaine. Sebastian studied Jay's profile and couldn't decide if Blaine was right – did Jay look nervous? He clicked on the thumbnail to see the photo more closely.

Blaine did always read people better than he did, Sebastian thought as he narrowed his eyes to scrutinize the photo. And that's when he caught a glimpse of his own name:

_...They are flanked by another potential pairing who looked adorable together tonight, at least according to the buzz around the room: JayTBaker, who was a credit to the gays by looking like a hot model who stepped out of a hipster ski wear catalogue; and our mysterious host and sexy karaoke star Sebastian Smythe, who not only needs to get an instagram account, but who also didn't get the memo that Movember is over._

_FUCK. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ It was no wonder Blaine's emails were weird and short this week.

Sebastian clicked over to his Skype application quickly and was relieved to see that Blaine appeared to be online. He dialed and prayed: _Please be there. Please be there. Please be there. Please be there. Please be there._

[](http://imgur.com/4wsQg6w)

Sebastian heaved a sigh of relief as Blaine's face popped up on the screen. "Hi there – you're early for our call, I'm still in a piano horsestall at school." Blaine said with a smile.

A polite smile. Blaine looked little odd. Of course he looked odd.

Sebastian looked down, trying to compose himself - in his panic, he had not planned how to approach this.

"Hey, I can't hear you. Can you hear me? Seb?" Blaine started to tap his IPad.

Sebastian shook himself. "Sorry, I just need a second." He looked away and he tried to think of where to start.

"Hey, are you okay?" Blaine looked concerned.

Sebastian looked up and started worrying about Blaine. "Are _you_ okay?"

"Yessss…" Blaine cocked his head and furrowed his brow. "Seb, you're acting really weird. What happened? What's wrong?"

 _Fuck it._ All there was to do was dive in without a plan. "I'm sorry," he said anxiously.

"For what?"

"I just saw the caption to that Instagram of me and Pauline and Roger and…"

"And Jay," Blaine cut in with a wry smile. His face was unreadable.

"And Jay," Sebastian looked down before looking up. Blaine's tone confirmed he had definitely read the caption before Sebastian. But it wasn't clear if he was cynical, bitter, uncomfortable, mad or sad. Or something else. Or all of those things. _Fuck._

"I was wondering if someone was going to point out that little gossip item to you," Blaine said calmly, still looking indecipherable.

"Yes, I'm sorry you read that before me - but that's all it is, _gossip_." Sebastian looked down again before training his eyes into the webcam and speaking quietly but severely. " _Nothing_ happened with me and Jay. That little bitch was just making up…"

"I believe you," Blaine cut in calmly. "You probably didn't have to do anything more than talk…or flirt... to look 'adorable.'" There it was, a twinge of pain on his face he couldn't quite hold back. It was just for a very brief moment, but Sebastian didn't miss it.

Sebastian looked stricken and he fumbled for words. "Blaine, I'm really, really sorry if you… your… feelings were hurt by that."

"It's okay." Blaine interrupted him again, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice and only succeeding partially.

Sebastian's green eyes were full of trouble. "It's not okay - you don't look okay. Did you really think that Jay and I...that we...Why didn't you ask me about it?"

"Because…" Blaine's mask started to fall and it was his turn to look away. "Because I didn't want you to think I didn't trust you, or worse, that I was this crazy guy who is unfairly possessive of you when you aren't even my boyfriend." He looked up and into the webcam bravely. " I do trust you... I was just feeling jealous that… Jay...got to be there and I couldn't. But that's not your problem - you have every right to flirt with hot guys. Heck, we talked about this before – it's not even really fair that you aren't _dating_ other hot guys right now. You and I aren't dating…"

" _YET_." Sebastian said. "You and I aren't dating, _YET_." He looked worried. "B, do you still not believe me? I don't want to be with _anyone_ else."

Blaine felt the words begin to revive his tired heart.

"I believe you." He looked at Sebastian's anxious face and nodded, though his big hazel eyes still looked somewhat troubled. He wanted to believe that Sebastian would always feel this way.

"I didn't say anything to you about Jay because I didn't think it was worth mentioning. He's a nice enough guy, but I told him about you and he backed off."

"So he _did_ hit on you?" Blaine asked, a fire building in his eye.

"Yeah," Sebastian looked guilty. "But I wasn't trying to…he just came up and introduced himself, you see he knows Thomas from orientation and he's in the same dorm as Karen so he just said that Thomas...well, we talked about…" Sebastian started filtering the conversation in his head, but not quickly enough.

"It's okay," Blaine cut in quickly, his pulse still beating fast. "I don't need to hear all the details. But god, he's good looking. Did he ever model?" He flinched at the pettiness in his voice the moment the words left his mouth.

"I don't know," Sebastian said, looking uncomfortable.

The look on Sebastian's face gave Blaine's heart a pang. "Seb, I'm sorry, that wasn't fair. It's not your fault he's handsome enough to model. And it's okay if you find another guy attractive. It's just…if you ever want to do more than flirt, please...just...tell me first, if you can." Blaine looked down.

Sebastian beckoned with urgency, "B, look at me."

Blaine slowly drew his gaze back to the camera.

Sebastian looked exasperated. "Fuck, you look so upset. Have you been this upset all week? Fuck. You have to call me next time you're upset with me, okay? I'm not there to see how you're doing..." He ran his fingers through his hair, increasingly frustrated. "Call me so I can do something, so I can explain better, so I can… make your face not look like that."

Blaine nodded, his eyes soft.

"You _have_ to believe me," Sebastian said intensely. "There is no one else in my life I care about more than you. There's _never_ been anyone I've cared about more than you. I don't want to be with anyone else. You _have_ to believe me." His voice broke. "You HAVE to believe me."

Blaine heart twisted and his eyes filled with tears. "I do," he soothed. "I believe you, I believe you."

They sat in silence for a moment, trying to connect through the screens. "I wish you were here," Sebastian said, still aggravated. "I would kiss you until you believed me."

"I believe you," Blaine said again, wiping his eyes. "But I wish we were together, too."

They were interrupted by Rob coming in the front door. Sebastian knocked his head on the table. He was an idiot for not moving the call into his bedroom in his panic.

Rob didn't notice as he kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket. "Hey Blaine…" he called from off camera in his mellow tone. "One of these days I'll get to meet you live and confirm that you have legs."

Blaine smiled softly. "Hey Rob."

Rob looked suddenly mischievous before he ducked his head in front of the webcam and burst out: "Hey Blaine I bet Seb hasn't told you that Thomas cheated him in a drinking game Sunday night and drank apple juice while Seb drank German beer until he passed out." He continued without taking a breath as Sebastian's eyes widened in shock with every word. "Then I guess Thomas and a bunch of the lacrosse guys, Jessica, and Katie stripped him down to his underwear and tied him to a chair outside the elevator bay in the hall!"

As he was yelling out the last words Rob began dashing to his bedroom, Sebastian hot on his heels. He slammed the door in Sebastian's face, hastily locking it.

Sebastian pounded on the door with both fists, "YOU CHEEKY LITTLE ASSHOLE! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!"

He could hear Blaine gasping with laughter through the laptop speakers. Returning to the living room, he threw himself back on the chair in front of it and rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, don't pull a muscle, Anderson."

"Oh god, the image!" Blaine hooted.

Sebastian spoke loudly and haughtily over Blaine's hysterics. "They were morons when it came to tying the knots, so I got out of it very easily when I woke up and David opened our hotel suite door right away so I didn't do anything more than treat a few girls to what they are missing. It was probably after 2:30 when I fell asleep and I got in bed at 4:00 so there were probably barely any people in the halls."

"THERE ONLY NEEDED TO BE ONE PERSON WITH AN INSTAGRAM! CHECK KATHLEENVANHORN, BLAINE!" Rob shouted through his door.

"What did Rob just say?" Blaine gasped, still catching his breath.

"Nothing," Sebastian growled. "ROB JUST HAS A DEATH WISH!" He shouted in Rob's direction. "And apparently Katie does, too," he muttered under his breath.

"Where was David when all this happened? And Rob?" Blaine asked incredulously, holding a hand over his heart from laughing.

"Asleep. Occupied with a girl."

Blaine tried to calm down. "Well at least I don't have to worry about girls hitting on you," he chuckled, wiping his eyes.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Well, I did learn this weekend that word has not gotten all the way around about my sexuality…if I was bi I would absolutely have gotten laid with the number of girls all over me. The hot girls the guys were all drooling over, too."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "I meant that I don't have to worry about you _responding_ to girls hitting on you.,"

Sebastian grew serious again. "Hey...don't worry about me, period, okay?"

Blaine paused to collect his thoughts. "Seb, you can't _make_ me not worry. You can't make me feel anything. That's honestly my problem. I can believe that you want to wait for me and I can believe that you care about me more than anyone and I can believe that you don't want to be with anyone else. I can believe all of those things, and still worry. Even when I know there's no logical basis for it whatsoever, I could still worry. It's irrational - it's based on my fears that I'm trying to work through."

Blaine watched the understanding flicker across Sebastian's serious face as he took it all in. He couldn't help but love that grave face, so willing to tackle this new territory. He felt himself fall in love with Sebastian a little more. He hadn't thought that was possible.

He continued with courage he hadn't felt in what seemed like years. "You can do as much harmless flirting with guys as you want and I'm not going to stop you. You like to flirt – I've seen you and you're awesome at it and it's great fun for you. You didn't do anything wrong, Seb - and neither did I. You flirted and you didn't tell me about it because it didn't mean anything. I found out about it accidentally and I got irrationally jealous and worried. I didn't tell you about it because I didn't want to make you feeling guilty for having fun. Ugh, I'd be like a ball and chain before we're even boyfriends! I don't want to be that guy.

"Oh, and by the way, THIS is why we did the right thing not jumping into dating after the holidays. I needed to work through my jealousy and find my strength this week to deal with my worry. It wasn't fun, but you know what? It was good for me. My therapist even said so. It was my issue to work through. So like I said, that's not your problem."

Sebastian said vehemently, "Of course it's my problem. If you're unhappy, of course I have a problem." He ran his fingers through his hair again. "I mean I understand that I can't stop you from worrying, but you know what? You can't stop me from worrying about you right back. And you can't stop me from wanting to help you feel better once you start worrying. Please let me at least...TRY to make it easier to bear somehow. I hate that I made you feel so upset, and that I couldn't do anything for you."

"You didn't make me upset. I made myself upset after reading a stupid caption," Blaine clarified. "And you know what?"

"What?" Sebastian asked dejectedly.

Blaine was gentle. "You're doing something for me right now."

Sebastian exhaled but his face was still serious. "Okay, that's good but can you promise to call me next time when you're upset? I wish you wouldn't be afraid to call me. I don't like finding out about it later and thinking there could have been something I could have done. Like if you don't want me to be around Jay, I don't have to be."

Blaine swallowed and dug up his grit. "No, that would be dumb. You said he's a nice guy, and that he backed off when you told him about me, right? And he's a freshman - that's the first freshman gay man you've met, right? If he's a nice guy, you should be friends."

Sebastian looked doubtful. "Really?"

Blaine inhaled and looked braver. "Yes."

Sebastian furrowed his brow. "Okay, if you're sure. But do you promise to call me sooner next time you're upset?"

"Yes," Blaine nodded.

"And do you promise to call me the MINUTE you hear or see anything about me through our Ohio clusterfuck rumormill or a Stanford insta-idiot?"

Blaine chuckled and nodded again. "Yes."

"Okay." Sebastian looked unsure of what to say next. "So what now?"

"This is where we would hug," Blaine smiled weakly.

Sebastian shook his head. "This whole 5000 miles between us thing sucks," he said darkly. "I'm going to fly out next weekend to see you."

"You have your first lacrosse game, baby. But I appreciate the sentiment. I'd use your ticket to come to you but I have to start extra rehearsals for our dance showcase. I really do wish I could come and see your first college game."

Sebastian wished he could, too. "Ugh...why does this suck so much?"

"It's going to be okay," Blaine soothed. "You know why?"

Sebastian didn't answer.

"'Cause we're Seb and Blaine." He pushed forward for them. "Let's talk about something else. I forgot to ask you, did you get back your quiz in Physics?"

"Yes," Sebastian said, looking spent. "I got an A." He groped for something else to say. "Did Billson let you sing for class this week?"

"Yes," Blaine nodded. "He even moved up one of our lessons to coincide with it."

"What song did you sing, anyway?"

"'Gotta be' by Des'ree. But I did Natalie Cole's acoustic arrangement."

"I've never heard that."

"Want me to play it for you?"

Sebastian eyes opened a bit wider and sat a little straighter. "Yeah, that's be good."

"It won't be as good as it was in class because Tracy and Leela aren't here to sing rounds with me on the final chorus. And the acoustics in this piano stall are going to be deathly," Blaine warned.

Sebastian said wearily, "I don't care, you can sing out of a garbage can with a kazoo. I just want to hear you sing."

Blaine looked at him lovingly. "You look exhausted. Those lacrosse practices are killing you and now all this non-boyfriend drama. Lie down on the sofa and you can just listen."

Sebastian nodded and went over to the nearby sofa. Blaine reached for his guitar, returning to sing into his Ipad's microphone:

_Listen as your day unfolds_  
Challenge what the future holds  
Try and keep your head up to the sky 

_Lovers, they may cause you tears_  
 _Go ahead, release your fears_  
 _Stand up and be counted_  
 _Don't be ashamed to cry_

_You gotta be, you gotta be bad_  
 _You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser_  
 _You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough_  
 _You gotta be stronger_

_You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm_  
 _You gotta stay together_  
 _All I know, all I know_  
 _Is love will save the day_

Suddenly he heard a door fly open and he saw Rob streak past the laptop before he heard the opening and slamming of the front door.

Sebastian's tired voice came from the sofa. "Speedy little fucker, isn't he? He's got a coffee date. I'll kill him later."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hope you enjoyed the conclusion of Seb's little ski vacation! Such gossip and intrigue. Poor Blaine – but it was a good test of that inner strength we all want for him to get back, right? You didn't think he would get it all with one dance on the table tops in St. Andrews, did you?_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _What did you guys think? Was it realistic development for Blaine? Did he come across as too whiny? I hope not. Was Seb too soft? I almost think he's never too soft when it's him and Blaine alone together. The big guy is such a pile of goo and so anxious about making things right between them when things go awry – it's adorable. I hope you think so, too?_
> 
> _Did you think Rob was out of character? I like to think that he occasionally mixes it up with Sebastian – not enough to be snarky like Nick, but enough to keep himself entertained. I mean you wouldn't be able to resist getting to be the one to tell Blaine that story, right?_
> 
> _I wasn't sure that was my best Sebtana. What did you think?_
> 
> _And maybe most importantly, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF JAY? I want to hear how much we pissed you off :) Actually, did it seem plausible that Seb would be attracted to him, flirt a little, find him intriguing?_
> 
>   _What were your least favorite parts, and which were your favorite parts?_
> 
> _Thanks again to my beta readers Dori and Rose, and to all of the readers out there following favoriting and reviewing our little story!_


	20. Non-Date Night, Spring Break Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Thanks for hanging in there with us on this voyage we call IGMYT (acronym for our lengthy title). After a little bit of non-boyfriend angstiness in the last chapter, enjoy some pure fluff, for reviewer Faye, beta reader Thomas (who is not very much at all like Thomas Müller in this story) and other lovers of fluff everywhere._

[](http://imgur.com/ZbXhAA0)

Sebastian was still groggy. "Sorry I fell asleep."

"That was supposed to be an empowerment song, not a lullaby," Blaine laughed.

"I...really...sorry," mumbled Sebastian, rubbing his eyes.

Blaine didn't have the heart to tease more. "Poor baby, stop apologizing, you're so tired. Your little nap was fine… it gave me time to get home from school anyway and get a snack."

Sebastian rubbed his eyes. "But do you have to go to bed? You have anything going on early tomorrow morning?"

"Nope," Blaine smiled. "And I was thinking while you were asleep, that I have time for at least one Cary Grant movie before I go to bed."

Sebastian was a bit more awake and was stretching his long arms. "Mmmm excellent idea," he said, standing up and stretching until all Blaine could see was his midsection. "I don't think I have the energy for any more relationship talks today."

"I know, you must be so beat," Blaine said empathetically. "How was practice this morning? You guys ready for the first game of the season next Saturday? Big Day!"

Sebastian sat back down at the computer and leaned his face on hand. "I hope so. I feel like if I don't do some serious scoring right off the bat I'm going to get demoted to the 2nd string. Thank god Thomas doesn't play my position because if he did he'd be drooling for my spot and if he got it I'd never hear the end of it. I'd have to transfer to Harvard somehow. As it is, I think Virk would probably pull up this senior Gus who always looks like he wants to rip my ear off and force feed it to me."

Blaine shuddered. "You have very specific fears." Then he put on a lofty air and shrugged. "Of course he's resentful of you, you're the first freshman they've ever put on the first string and he's probably been on the bench for three years." Then he trained reassuring eyes on the webcam. "But it's not your fault you're better than him. And stop talking like a Negative Nancy – you're going to be awesome. Be sure to tell Rob to get some good video for me."

"Rob?"

"Rob. Rob Dean. Your roommate. Tall fellow, yellow hair?" Blaine said in sarcastic deadpan. "Isn't he coming?"

"I don't know. I doubt it."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"I don't even know if he knows when it is. It's not like he approves my calendar. And I doubt he'd be interested in coming."

"Why wouldn't he be? It's your first game! And you guys are so close – I love him so much for being such a great friend to you, and I've never even met him live. Didn't you invite him?"

"You love everyone. And no, I didn't specifically invite him," Sebastian looked at Blaine like he was crazy. "Blaine, I'm not going to ask him to come to my game. That would be so…"

"Gay?" Blaine said mockingly, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up, it just seems kind of…needy. And it's really not a big deal to me if anyone comes to my games. I play for myself," Sebastian shrugged.

"Please. You are a performer, on the stage, on the field. You're an offensive…" he stopped to recall the term.

"Attacker," Sebastian supplied for him, looking amused.

"Such an appropriate title for you," laughed Blaine. "You're an Attacker for a reason. You love the glory of scoring. Of course you'd love to have people there cheering for you! You loved it at Dalton. Right after you scored, before you'd even look at your teammates, you'd look right over to the Warblers and wave your stick at them. And when it was the last score and you pulled off your helmet you would be smiling from ear to ear at Meatbox, Jeff, Nick and the rest of them who were going nuts for you on the bleachers." Blaine winked. "And I bet you'd score more if I was there."

"Well that's a different kind of score," Sebastian grinned back at him.

Blaine blushed and laughed. "Invite Rob! He will be pleased that you thought enough of him to ask him to be there. He's like the closest thing you have to family on that campus, he should be there."

"I don't know, B…"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Let's put it this way. Would you like me to be there?"

"Duh."

"Well I can't be there because of my rehearsals. So someone needs to go there for me, to cheer like I would cheer for you…"

"Rob would not cheer like you. He would also look ridiculous in your Cheerios uniform…" Sebastian chuckled.

Blaine shook his head and chuckled. "You know what I mean. Someone needs to go to be your moral support from the stands, to take pictures and video for me, and your mom, and…

"Don't even pretend my dad would give a shit about this."

"I was going to say Santana," Blaine lied.

"I'm not sure she would give a shit about this, either," Sebastian laughed.

"Oh stop it. Just invite Rob for me, will you? Or I'm going to just start emailing him directly and then we can talk about you behind your back…and he can tell me who else to invite, which I know would further embarrass you." Blaine paused. "Hopefully Rob will have the sense to invite some of your other friends himself." A puzzled look crossed his face next. "Who are your closest friends there, anyway? You seem to refer to so many people but you never talk about anyone in any depth except Rob and sometimes that Thomas guy, but with him it's usually only in kind of semi-derogatory terms…"

"Okay, okay, I'll invite Rob, Mom!" Sebastian said, waving a dismissive hand. His lips curved into a half smile in spite of himself. "Damn, you sound like David with all your friend talk. But he doesn't nag." He looked at Blaine on his screen with lazy affection.

"You're lucky that you're looking particularly cute today, because that's the only reason why I'm going to ignore that nagging comment." Blaine said, arching an eyebrow. "What has David been saying?"

"That…" Sebastian tried to remember the words and looked a bit doubtful. "That I need to 'let more people in,' that I need to let people get to know me better. I guess he's kind of right, but sometimes I don't know. I like the people I have in my life already. I've told you that. I don't need a million friends."

"You're first instinct is right - listen to him," Blaine said with a gentle smile and a nod. "He doesn't mean you need a million friends, just more than only Rob." He paused and smiled. "What if something happened to Rob? What if he got an alluring offer to transfer with a scholarship to Cal Tech or MIT? Then what would you do? Transfer to Berkeley and force David's roommate out?"

Sebastian shook his head and smiled. "You're lucky _you're_ so adorable, because that was rude. Rob is not my only friend. And hey, I gave a party last weekend and I let people get to know me better there. I was following DJ's sage advice."

"Drinking until you blackout so people can tie you up in your underwear in a hotel hallway is not letting people get to know you better. Unless you meant getting to better know your underwear preferences."

Sebastian had to laugh. "Funny you say that, I did hear that there were bets made on if I wore briefs or boxer briefs before the girls got up the nerve to strip off my pants."

"Not a single person figured you for a boxers guy, huh?"

"I know! I don't know if I should be offended!"

"No," they said in unison. They laughed heartily together and it felt good after the Instagram drama.

"I miss you so much," Blaine said, his eyes soft.

"Do you miss me, or do you miss me in my underwear?" Sebastian smirked.

"Way to ruin the moment," Blaine said, shaking his head.

"I wasn't ruining it, I was just taking it into an even more intimate direction. We were going to discuss what underwear _you_ are wearing next. Then you would model it for me."

Blaine blushed. "Stop it. Let's pick a movie. North by Northwest? To Catch A Thief?"

"You know me so well. But I know you, too – and I know you really REALLY want to watch Philadelphia Story, or Holiday. And I don't mind watching either."

"Philadelphia Story it is." Blaine said sheepishly. "Thank you."

"You seriously look like Bambi when you do those eyes," remarked Sebastian as he stood up and moved the laptop over to the coffee table.

"Whoa, I always feel like I'm seasick when you do that," giggled Blaine.

"And you're giggly Bambi today. When you were getting that snack while I was napping, did you also open up one of those hard lemonades you love so much? Is there moonshine off camera tonight, my little lush?"

"Hey, it's Saturday night already here!"

"I'm not judging. In fact…"

"DO NOT pour yourself a scotch. You would be drinking in the middle of the day – what if your RA stopped by?"

"A couple of scotches would not make me act drunk." Sebastian paused before admitting, "But she might smell it on my breath,"

"Really? She'd have to standing pretty close to you to smell your breath."

"Well, she does like standing pretty close to me," Sebastian smirked.

Blaine furrowed his brow. "Come on, you said word hadn't gotten all the way around that you're gay, but your RA must know."

"I have made a special effort to make sure she does not know."

"Why?"

"Because I might need a favor from her here and there. RA's are gatekeepers for quite a bit around here."

Blaine looked amused. "So you flirt with her to keep in her good graces."

"Exactly. I don't have time to act in plays, so I keep my thespian skills sharp this way. I should tell Coop about it, he'd be proud of me."

"You are terrible. You know most people just befriend their RA's to curry favor with them, they don't default to seducing them!"

"Those people clearly aren't the sexy people."

Blaine chortled. "What if she starts falling for you?"

"All the better. I think we're on our way, in fact. She came by the other day, out of the blue, and gave me some free movie passes the RAs got. I think she was just looking for an excuse to see if she could catch me coming out of the shower. And she was in luck!"

"You are awful, you are really awful," Blaine couldn't repress a grin. He secretly loved knowing Sebastian was wanted by so many, yet chose to only have eyes for Blaine. But he still chided, "And take it from me, you want to nip that in the bud."

"I don't stock Vaporub in here, don't worry," Sebastian chuckled.

Blaine laughed with him, even though he felt guilty for poor Tina. "Anyway, you aren't allowed to drink because you will fall asleep on me in seven minutes."

"Seven?" Sebastian chuckled.

"I timed you last quarter when we attempted a James Dean marathon...remember? On the afternoon after your final triathlon practice run?"

Sebastian was shuffling through his movies. "Fine, fine – I suppose it's just as well because if I sleep with alcohol in me I might not wake up in time for the band party. I normally don't feel so compelled to be on time to see those heathens in action, but Rob and I told Karen we'd bring her."

"Karen's the Mixed Company freshman soloist, yes?"

"Yes. She's this interesting combination of being sharp and snarky but oddly also still sweet enough for it to feel like we're bringing her tonight because we want to sacrifice a virgin."

Blaine chuckled. "Poor thing. She thinks she's lucky to come to this party with two of the hottest guys on campus and then…"

"Flattery will get you anywhere you want with me, Killer." Sebastian smirked. "Hey, since when do you think Rob is so hot?"

Blaine laughed. "You're cute when you're jealous. Seriously, it's your job to protect Karen because you told me Rob cuts loose at those things."

"I don't know, I think he might not get too sloppy tonight because I'd put money down that he's got a raging crush on her. But he keeps denying it."

"Well that's usually a clear sign that he likes her," smiled Blaine.

"Exactly." Sebastian stood up. "I'll be right back." He called as he walked," If you're not going to let me drink scotch then I have to steal Rob's cookies and he's going to come in and beat on me with his pillow again. And I'm going to get fat." He dug through Rob's bureau for the Ziploc bag full of cookies he knew were hidden there.

He could hear Blaine's voice as he returned to the living room. "We need to talk about your paranoia around getting fat. I'm worried you're on the road to an eating disorder."

Sebastian jumped back into the frame. "Rob's mom sends those cookies twice a month, sometimes more. She sends me my own box. There are easily four dozen cookies in each friggin box. You do the math. I could be first string on every sport on this campus and still get fat if I don't watch it. I'm pretty sure she thinks we share them with our dorm neighbors, but those things are like crack – you've had them, you should know…would you give any of them away?"

"They do seem like they might have a dusting of cocaine in them," laughed Blaine.

They turned on the movie and sat in comfortable silence, save a few remarks here and there:

"Sometimes I think I like Jimmy Stewart better than I like Cary Grant."

"Killer, you've had too much hooch - you have lost control of your mental facilities."

"There's something so salt of the earth about him."

"Look at Cary Grant's ass. There is no more to discuss in this matter."

"You have a one track mind."

"Speaking of this track in my mind, you should know that if we were actually together live, this is the moment where I would cop a feel."

Blaine burst out laughing and then scolded. "Shut up, I can't hear C.K. Dexter Haven."

"I don't care about Cary Grant's ass anymore, I want yours."

"Stop it, you horndog!" giggled Blaine.

"You love it. I demand Skype sex."

"Do you want me to hang up on you? Let me watch the movie!"

"You've seen it six million times."

Blaine shook his head at him but couldn't repress a smile. "And you're ruining my six million and first viewing with your inappropriate pushing of boundaries." He wagged a finger at the webcam.

"Fine, I'll be quiet. But I think we should do all kinds of inappropriate things after the movie."

"Ignoring you."

* * *

"It's like you and Tracy have the same Uncle Willy…"

"Cooper and I always used to say that when we watched this growing up."

"The similarity is uncanny."

* * *

As the credits for the movie rolled, Blaine leaned forward to smile at Sebastian through the webcam. "Sam is always reminding everyone that Wham! is my guilty pleasure…but my lesser known guilty pleasure is 'High Society.' I may just love it more than 'Philadelphia Story.'"

Sebastian furrowed his brow at him. "Killer, 'Philadelphia Story' was nominated for…" he picked up the Blu-Ray cover and read from it, "six Academy Awards and won for Best Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor. High Society was a cheesy Technicolor remake that replaced the perfection of Cary Grant with the graying Bing Crosby and replaced our girl Kate with that ice queen Grace Kelly."

"I know all of that and you know this is one of my favorite Cary Grant movies, period – but THE MUSIC! Sinatra! Louis Armstrong! And Bing was in ridiculously good voice and was still plenty handsome and you know Cary Grant couldn't sing a note or even dance much. And Frank and Bing did a duet!" Blaine got up and danced around the room a bit.

Sebastian watched him fondly. "Man, I wish I could waltz you around the room right now like the two idiots that we are. So yes, you've dragged it out of me, it's one of my guilty pleasures, too."

Blaine grinned at him from behind his chair. "I didn't have to drag anything out of you. You sing 'True Love' every time you visit your grandmother! It's the first song you sing her every time! I never thought I would hear you sing a crooner ballad that old fashioned and sweet. It was like you should have had a lace pocket square and worn an ascot with a top hat like in 'My Fair Lady.'"

Sebastian put his face in his hands. "Oh yeah, I forgot that you know that I've sung that song."

Blaine jumped back into his chair to shout into the webcam, "Hah! Welcome to the land of guilty pleasure shame with me."

Sebastian's face popped up with a mischievous expression. "You know what other pleasure we can feel guilty and shameful about tomorrow?""

It was Blaine's turn to facepalm. "God I walked right into that one."

"Exactly - what was I supposed to do, just sit there?"

Blaine looked up and laughed. "Yeah, I'm not even going to scold you on that one."

"Does that mean we get to have to Skype sex?" Sebastian licked his lips.

Blaine blushed. "Good night, Seb."

Sebastian stuck out his lower lip.

"Don't pout, you're too cute that way. Go do your homework so you can have a blast with Rob and Karen tonight."

"But I'd rather flunk out of school and have Skype sex with you instead!"

"Goodbye, you idiot."

"I'm gonna miss you too, babe!"

* * *

_From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Stuff and Junk (I'm too annoyed to be witty right now)_

_Hey there,_

_Can I just tell you how frustrated I am?_ _!?_ _I know I'm not in a music composition program, but how can piano practice room situation be so crappy in the best musical theatre school in this country? !?_

_I have just been kicked out of my fourth piano practice room in thirty minutes. I signed up for use of my first room on their backwards, decrepit scheduling system which looks like it runs out of a Windows 90-something operating system – you actually have to go_ _IN PERSON_ _to sign up – and by some "glitch" it was double booked. And how did I learn this? Because five minutes into my session this senior who didn't even deign to say ONE WORD to me, opens the door, walks past me (almost shoves me), puts his stuff on the table, grabs a book from his stack and starts playing from it at the piano! He's the emo type with pasty skin and a black turtleneck, if you want the visual._

_I said, "Excuse me?" but he didn't even answer me! He just kept playing really loudly! So I decide not to bother, since I was only five minutes into my stuff, so I go over to the next room over, throw my stuff there and go to the scheduling station and it looks like it's open…_

_You know what? I'm going to spare you the details (I'm guessing you're skimming at this point anyway). The short of it is that there are not enough pianos at the school to meet student need and the pianos they have are cheap and out of tune. I hate to sound like a snob, but I miss my parents' piano so much! And Dalton's old antique darling. And yours. Even McKinley's old grand is miles beyond these pieces of you-know-what. I totally took it all for granted until I got here._

_Seriously, even a mid-market keyboard would be better than the way these things feel and how they are tuned._

_Sorry, this is now the end of my rant. Just don't expect me to be able to compose another CD of original music for you anytime soon. Harumph._

_Okay, let me talk about nicer things. Like…there are only about six weeks left before our first college Spring Break ( whoo hoo )! And yes, this is where I have to bug you about if you're coming to Florida with us. Pretty please, say yes? It seems like it's been too long since I've gotten to give you a hug and I'm afraid if you don't come, it won't be until June. If you wanted to only come before or after I'm done with all my scheduled activities, We would only have after the convention Saturday. The first Saturday of spring break is a travel day of course; the convention activities start Sunday and we don't finish until end of evening Friday; then I fly back Sunday. So it would only be one day together. Do you really only want to fly out for one day? Just say you'll come the whole time! Please? I'd love to see your adorable face at the end of every day._

_Here is a really old pic of me from my Warbler days while we were rehearsing my ill-fated Robin Thicke song that Jeff turned into a gif. I included it to illustrate how much I want you to come and sun yourself bronzed by the pool every day for me to come back to every night ; )_

[](http://imgur.com/xKZONDk)

_What will it take besides you getting to pick the hotel? List your demands, Prince Sebastian._

_End of groveling. And let me know by the end of the week or we're asking someone else. Maury from my musical theatre class has expressed some interest._

_Oh my god, I've been so busy complaining and begging that I didn't lead with the most exciting news! I just heard from Tina yesterday that she got off the waiting list and is entering as a Winter Quarter Admit to UCLA's musical theatre program! I'm so excited for her, she didn't seem too thrilled at that Colorado program. It's crazy, she's going to start the quarter like a few weeks behind her classmates but they said she can catch up and do summer school for her general education requirements. Coop said she can live with him while she finds an apartment. I can't believe all this is happening for her. She has been dreaming about living in Los Angeles forever and it's all finally coming true for her, it's so amazing and makes me so happy. She can audition for a_ _ll kinds of stuff out there that would never be possible in Colorado._ _And of course this gives me another reason to want to go to UCLA next fall. Fingers crossed._

_In other news, we finally were able to book a decent priced hotel for the group of us who are finally going down for our first West End auditions trip in two weeks, so that's very exciting. Just think, one or more of us could land a part and just drop out of school like that! Apparently it happens a lot. I'm not sure what would be worth doing that for, for me personally at least. I think it would have to be something outside of being in the chorus. Is that arrogant of me to say? It's just I really value getting an education – I think I have always gained a lot from being in an academic environment and I wouldn't want to drop out of that, especially after my parents dropped so much tuition, for just any part. But I know Tina, you and I planned for this to potentially happen_ _-_ _it was a big reason why I'm even all the way over here in Scotland…so I'm definitely not averse to the idea of_ _taking a break from_ _school for the right part._

_And it's not even_ _so much for my career and education_ _as_ _for my_ _personal development. I know that sounds kind of stupid. It's just I am only now starting to feel_ _comfortable in my own skin again. I feel more like myself than I have in what feels like years. It's the strangest thing, when I stop to reflect on it. I mean I don't think I was a completely different person while I was at McKinley, but there was a piece of me missing, I think._

_It's hard to put my finger on it. Maybe that's not even the right way to frame it. Maybe it's just that I feel like I'm getting my old confidence back. The confidence I had all the way up until I came out, and that I regained a lot of at Dalton. Or maybe my confidence never left, it's just the situations got harder. McKinley was so tough in some ways. It wasn't in others of course , but I definitely had to work hard there at times to just feel comfortable. But I had to put on hard shell and plunge and swim like hell, but it paid off, and I'm proud of that._

_But now, after the cancelled wedding, what I've built with you, what I'm doing here (even if it's taken me so long to get here)…now I feel like I can put on a hard shell or a soft one or a medium one or whatever and I'll be fine. And I'm not so worried about appearances. I mean I still care about what other people think, but it doesn't drive me the way it used to. I take it into account, sometimes before a choice, but more often after I've made that choice by myself._

_This probably doesn't make a lot of sense and I'm mixing metaphors and stuff but I have to run to class soon so I don't have time to really edit it…we can talk about it more when we talk on Saturday. The short story is that personally I feel like I'm really starting to bloom (for lack of a better word) here at the RC and it would be a bit of a shame to start all over in London, living alone, wouldn't it? But for the right part…it would be ridiculous not to, huh? Oh this so silly, I haven't been offered anything yet. We'll see how things turn out and deal with it as it comes!_

_Other than that, nothing too exciting in the last couple of days. These Thursday emails are so random, it seems like our Tuesday emails are full of news from the weekend and what's going on in classes and on Thursday they go all over the place. Not that I'm complaining, just noticing the trend._ _:)_

_So this is my last email to you before I officially turn 19 tomorrow. Whenever I think about my birthday party in Ohio I just light up with happiness. Thank you again for throwing that for me, it was the best birthday I ever had. I smile every time I think about you tap dancing away up there on stage for me. Tomorrow will be anti-climactic, but I don't care. I've had enough birthday happiness this year to last me for ten more years. REMEMBER you are not to buy me a present, that expensive party was plenty. IF I SEE A BIT OF GIFT WRAPPING PAPER AND RIBBON I WILL GIVE IT TO SAM._

_Talk to you Saturday – can't wait to hear about the big game. Very happy Rob is going and getting me some video and pics. Miss you._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014  
 _Subject: Re: Stuff and Junk (I'm too annoyed to be witty right now)_ _

_Hey Killer:_

_I will admit that I have a crapton of homework tonight so I'm going to have to make this quick. I hate to treat this like an engineering lab report but here we go:_

_I'm buying your school a piano. My only condition as a donor is that the only students allowed to play on are to be five foot eight, curly haired, hazel eyed, dapper students with asses that won't quit._

_I'm sorry that you got bounced so many times in a row. See if you can figure out the names of the goons who did it and I'll have words with Sam on what to do._

_I will address spring break in a separate email._

_Excellent news for Tina. I'll be in LA spring quarter to see Nick for a real weekend. I thought I could pull it off this quarter but Virk has us doing Saturday practices every weekend we don't have a game, which aren't many (be prepared to see the insides of crappy hotels for the rest of the quarter, we're traveling a lot). Anyway, I will probably just_ _have time_ _grab a drink with Nick and/or Coop while I'm down there to play UCLA so Tina could join us._

_Of course -_ _I'm just going to say it because you and I never beat around the bush – let's not kid ourselves, Tina doesn't care about seeing me. But I'll make the overtures because she is important to you. I will even make an effort to woo her friendship if you give me a few tips. But she's never given me more than ice so you should know that I am only giving it the college try one more time. You know it's very unlike me to grovel for the affections of anyone (except you), so I hope you can appreciate my doing so is testament to how much I care about you. But I've almost reached my limit here, so you may have to come to terms with the idea that Tina and I may never get along as well as you want us to. But hey, you used to think that about Sam and me, and now Stevie and Stacey have replaced you with me in family portraits…so never say never._

_Your trip to London should be excellent. That is a kick-ass city. If I end up doing investment banking, I'd rather do internships and do my first job out there. New York is great and all, but London is a whole other level, right up there with Paris._

_Look forward to hearing how auditions go – give it everything you've got so you have no regrets, you can figure out the rest later. It will be a good audition exercise if nothing else. I personally think any director would be nuts not to put you in the lead of 90% of the shows playing on the West End right now._

_Your thoughts on your confidence level, etc. are spot on in my not-so-humble opinion. I've noticed it. It's sexy. But we can talk more about it all on Saturday if you want._

__

Happy early birthday, Killer. It's ridiculous that you said I couldn't buy you anything for your birthday. So all I have to give you right now is this selfie.

__

[](http://imgur.com/zG9zfAu)

_This was actually all Rob – we were acting like idiots the other night while procrastinating about homework and I was telling him how you won't let me buy you anything for your birthday, so all I have to give you is a selfie in your hoodie, since hoodies are our thing. Then Rob said I would look better with blue eyes and started doing his computer geek thing. He also thought your RC hoodie would look better in yellow, that black hair would be better with the blue eyes, etc. Seriously, I live with a dork. A dork who apparently dislikes my coloring immensely. Hope you find it as entertaining as Rob does._

_Talk to you soon. Miss you, too._

_Yours,_

_Seb_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson, Rob Dean, Sam Evans_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Spring Break Terms_

_Gentlemen:_

_So Rob's been begging me like a whiny little girl to go to Orlando on this very scary Harry thing. Blaine's practically promising sexual favors and I can hear Sam's brooding from here in California. So I've decided to concede and say yes, BUT ONLY IF YOU AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND CONDITIONS. Again, I will ONLY go if:_

_Blaine wears tight pants everyday.  
_

_Sam lets me touch his abs once. There will be no further predatory action. I'm just intrigued by the musculature. I have spectacular abs but they don't ripple like that.  
_

_Sam_ _does_ _not to do any Disney or Harry Potter impressions.  
_

_I am allowed to pull Rob out to hang out with me for at least one afternoon, during which time he is not allowed to talk about Harry Potter or anything_ _else nerdy,_ _AT ALL. In fact, during this time he is required to go with me to a sports bar and watch a game with me and have a stiff drink with me like a real man.  
_

_I am allowed to pull Blaine out for at least three afternoons or seven sessions (same ban on Harry Potter talk would be in place)._

_Rob is not allowed to stay up in our room geeking out on his laptop past midnight if I am trying to sleep in the room. He thinks I can't hear his goddamned videogames through the doors in our dorm, BUT I CAN. So take it to the lobby or to the room of the other two dorks on this email distribution.  
_

_Blaine and Sam bring their guitars and play at least one song every night.  
_

_Blaine only uses hair gel in a quantity daily that does not exceed the size of four quarters.  
_

_Sam and Rob go with Blaine and I to a gay bar one night so we can laugh at them getting hit on.  
_

_Rob does my laundry at Stanford for a month when we get back.  
_

_I get to pick where we go to dinner every night.  
_

_We go to a karaoke bar a minimum of 3 nights and Blaine sings a minimum of four songs per night.  
_

_Rob is to creep out of our room to change and shower every morning in Blaine/Sam's room so I can sleep late on my vacation. This is assuming you people won't let me share a room with Blaine (I have no idea why you would think this would be…dangerous, but I am getting that impression from the Talented Mr. Anderson).  
_

_I am not to be disturbed between 1-3 every day while I nap and recover from winter quarter.  
_

_No pranks are pulled on me. Period._ _Given the setting, I am positive that y_ _ou guys will all be in full on 10_ _-_ _year_ _-_ _old-dork-boy mode_ _, plus_ _Rob got too much pleasure at my expe_ _nse_ _out of my Tahoe prank war._ _If any of y_ _ou pull one prank ,_ _I will immediately get on the next plane home and put a mafia contract hit out on Sam and Rob, and Blaine will be bound as my sex slave for at least two years. And don_ _'t think I can't do these things._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Rob Dean_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms 

_If I didn't know just how much you want to see Blaine over break, I would swear you are trying to get our invitation to this thing rescinded._

_I'm looking forward to seeing the responses on this._

_Rob_

_P.S. I appreciate you introducing to me to your friend Sam as someone who bears resemblance to a whiny little girl. Thanks very much._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Rob Dean_  
 _CC: Blaine Anderson, Sam Evans_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_The laundry thing is a deal breaker. I've smelled your socks after lacrosse by accident._

* * *

_To: Rob Dean_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _CC: Blaine Anderson, Sam Evans_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_If you want to take something off the table, you're going to need to offer something_ _else instead_ _._

_Your socks after you play tennis are no walk in the park, either._ _I actually thought I saw them walking to the hamper on their own one day._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Rob Dean_  
 _CC: Blaine Anderson, Sam Evans_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Let me make an appointment for you at Student Psychological Services - I'm concerned about this sock delusion you had. I'm wondering if it was a delusion, actually - perhaps it was a hallucination, or is it that you believe in poltergeists?_

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe, Rob Dean_  
 _From: Sam Evans_  
 _CC: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Hey California bros_ _,_

_I'm glad Blaine and I aren't the only ones with smelly roommate_ _problem_ _s. Blaine complains about my socks too. I can't say Blaine leaves_ _smelly soc_ _ks_ _around, though. I_ _'ve actually never met anyone with better smelling socks. Maybe he starches them when he irons them along with his undershirts and boxers? Some of his laundry also takes up a lot of room air drying in the living room every week. I can't really keep track of all the different things he's doing to his different kinds of clothes_ _._

_Sam_

_P.S. Seb, don't deny it, I know you want me. Hah! That's both of you!_

* * *

_To: Sam Evans_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _CC: Blaine Anderson, Rob Dean_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_You wish - in your stripper dreams. And just so you understand: I can be your mentor, your object of worship (yeah, I know_ you _are the one who wants me), even your friend. But I am not your bro._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Sam Evans_  
 _CC: Blaine Anderson, Rob Dean_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Whatever, bro._

_To: Sam Evans_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _CC: Blaine Anderson, Rob Dean_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_You're back on my list._

* * *

_To: Sam Evans_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_SAM! That was an overshare._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sam Evans_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_What?_

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Seb,_

_You can't flirt with me like that on an email with anyone else on it! You're going to make those guys so uncomfortable!_

_B_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Hey, I didn't think you'd still be awake._

_There was nothing in that email that Rob hasn't heard me mention about you in one way, shape or form. And Sam? Come on, I bet if you talked to Sam he would tell you that he thinks we should be boyfriends and spending spring break alone somewhere on a deserted island._

_S_

* * *

_To: Rob Dean_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _CC: Sebastian Smythe, Sam Evans_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Good for you, Rob – that laundry demand is ridiculous, I mean he wants you to do his laundry AFTER the vacation is over? Our dear Sebastian is overreaching a bit here. Sam – just so you know, Seb sends all his laundry to the cleaners anyway, so he's only wants Rob to do it to torture him._ _And for the record, Sam was overstating the amount of ironing I do._

_Rob just so you know, my father is a very successful businessman and he taught me and my brother a thing or two about negotiation when we were growing up. The most important thing to know when negotiating (with a terrorist, in this case) is what our back-up plan would be_ _,_ _should we not be able to reach an agreement with Sebastian. I believe our back-up plan is my fellow musical-theatre classmate Maury, who is interested in going with us if Sebastian decides not to go (Rob, you are welcome to join us even though I know you've never met Sam or I live)._

_I suggest the three of us convene to discuss this as well as Mr. Smythe's list of demands. Sam and I could do it at breakfast at 7:30 if you'll still be awake at 11:30, Rob. You can message us to confirm._

_Mr. Smythe, we will be getting back to you with our response to your lengthy list of demands._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Cheeky. You are so cute when you get haughty. I know you just made up that Maury guy. That can't seriously be the name of someone under the age of sixty, can it?_

_It must be a ploy, because I know you want me:_

[](http://imgur.com/qXULNth)

_Yeah, they took headshots of everyone last week for the Mixed Company website. Rob edited all the photos, which explains the soft focus. But I know you barely noticed that, because you think about me in dreamy soft focus all the time_ _._

_So I hate to break it to you, your cards are on the table - I know you think I'm dreamy. So_ _your meeting with the guys will prove to be a waste of time because you will ultimately cave and cater to all my demands. You sent me a picture of you literally BEGGING me to come on this trip with you. Did your father tell you to do that in negotiations? I may have to email him at his secret e-mail address to confirm that._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Are we sure it's not the other way around in this scenario? I know you want to spend spring break with me_ _. Y_ _ou haven_ _'t hesitated to tell me how much you want me in every email you've sent me this quarter. Y_ _ou can't wait to see me so you can flirt with me even more inappropriately than you do over email (which you may notice, I do not respond to)._

_By the way, you aren't the only one who got headshots done._ _I know what pictures of me and a microphone do to you:_

[](http://imgur.com/kENpXwp)

_P.S. But yes you do look handsome in that photo (even though it look_ _s like Rob put pink lipstick on you.)_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Okay, that picture o_ _f you and that microphone_ IS _hot – send me a high res version, please._

_I think you've forgotten about your earlier email...you know, the one with the picture of you BEGGING...the one where you requested specifically that I bronze myself by the pool for you to come back to every night. If that's not inappropriate flirting, I cannot wait to see what is._

_Similarly, I seem to recall a skype call last weekend where you wanted me to score with you. Yeah, y_ _ou aren't fooling me with your "stop its" and your "shut ups" and all the blushing that somehow are included like attachments to all those emails._

_So don't try to pretend that you aren't going to_ _meet my demands_ _so you can see this_ _live:_

[](http://imgur.com/5wlkthG)

_Yes, it's January and I just took that at the frat_ _barbecue_ _I ill-advisedly went to on Sunday. It was 78 degrees and it was only the couple of us from the Midwest and Northeast who went shirtless – just because we could. Hurry back from Scotland, babe._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_No comment on that picture. Boundaries, Smythe. You are pushing it again. ;)_ _But_ _yes, you look hot._

_In spite of your underhanded techniques, I am not worried about winning this negotiation. It's my birthday tomorrow so you have to do what I want._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 30, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Damn, that was the blush heard round the world. I'm tempted to use an emoticon. But…no._

_We will be continuing negotiations on the day AFTER your birthday, then. Only Sam and Rob have to do what you want tomorrow. Honestly, you should listen to Rob. He doesn't say much, but he's smart and he_ _'s_ _actually lived with me, which is more than we can say about you two McKinley jokers. He's the only one who might be up for wrestling with me at the table. As if we don't do enough arm wrestling at home._

_Wait, do YOU want to do some wrestling?_

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: January 31, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_I'm going to bed, Mister Shameless. I have an early class tomorrow, believe it or not. If only everyone could have the day off of school on their birthday. You guys with your huge lecture classes could get away with ditching I suppose, but they take attendance at the RC._

_Thanks for the unexpected laughs right before bedtime. Have good rest of your day_ _!_ _T_ _alk to you S_ _atur_ _day, if not sooner._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 31, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Hey Killer -_

_Look at the time, it's already tomorrow in Scotland. So I get to be the first to holler birthday greetings from the electronic rooftops. Here we go:_

_There wasn't a greater day in history than the day your perfect butt landed on the planet. So today, the day we are supposed to celebrate the anniversary of that day, it sucks more than usual that_ _we have 5000 miles between us_ _. This means you'll just have to imagine me giving you a very appropriate non-boyfriend kiss on the top of your flawless curly head and enveloping you in a crushing way that no goddamned hoodie can (but again, in an appropriate manner as per our current understanding)._

_Then imagine that I'm going to hog you to myself all day – I'd buy you no presents but we'd eat like kings, I'd sing anything you requested,_ _I'd push you_ _on the swings on some playground, I_ _'d fly you to San Francisco where we could go dancing in the Castro and at The Top of the Mark, we'd sit on China Beach_ _and_ _I'd_ _do whatever the hell else you'd want._

_But in the real world, I'll just try to call you tomorrow. That is, today. You know what I mean. In the meantime, have a good dream about us._

_Yours,_

_Seb_

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: January 31, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Aww, Seb. You're the best. Good night, baby – talk to you tomorrow._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: January 31, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Good night, babe. Happy Birthday._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Author's note:_   
>  _Okay, so we're back to regular sized chapters again. Don't ask me how that last one got as long as it did. Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks as always to our fabulous beta readers, this time Dori and Rose did the heavy lifting._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _Please do drop a line and let us know if this worked for you. I'm sure you guys hated that I had to include that shirtless selfie of Grant._
> 
> _Thanks to everyone who has continued to review, it keeps me motivated to churn them out. Please keep reviewing, if only to tell me if you prefer longer chapters less often, or shorter chapters more often?_


	21. He's Not My Boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> Here's some more fluff, just in time for Valentine's Day! I promise that there will be more plot action in the next chapter as we move on towards spring break. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy some always popular Sebtana, Blaine's actual birthday (featuring a tiny bit of Sebam feels and of course a nice heaping of Seblaine), and Valentine's Day (with lovely Seblaine sweetness, a touch of Robastian and some cute Sebjay friendship). Please review to keep this gal motivated and to help me continue to learn from your reactions, favorite parts, etc. Glad so many of you are following and favoriting and visiting this long-winded but hopefully entertaining tale we're spinning of two beautiful college boys growing up and loving each other. Thanks for reading and sharing in this fun with us!
> 
> XOXO,
> 
> Your Ever Faithful TiburonWriter (Karen)
> 
> P.S. Shout out of course to Beta Reading team of Dori, Rose and Thomas!
> 
> P.P.S. Shout out to Little Santana, wherever you are – I miss your reviews!

* * *

_SEB: Hey, it's midnight in Scotland and officially Blaine's Birthday. Look alive and remind your McKinley flunkies._

_TANA:_ _You're such a Nazi when it comes to doing anything for Blaine. Slushy Warbler is whipped by our New Directions Boy Wonder - I love it._

_SEB: I am not whipped. Let me walk you through this, my pretty little girl. One is whipped when one's boyfriend controls you. I am not whipped because (1) Blaine is not my boyfriend, and (2) he is not controlling me. I'm sure it is not hard to fathom that Blaine is not often in control in our relationship. At least not when it matters the most. Regardless, there is no controlling going on at all today. I am merely being thoughtful on his birthday._

_TANA:_ _Please, your BS may come from Stanford now but it's still the same old Smythe-brand-BS. All you've done is confirmed that you're whipped most of the time- just not as much in bed. Oh wait, I DO seem to recall one of your stories where actual whips were involved :0_

_SEB: If you tell anyone, especially Blaine, about the whip story , I will share (Twitter, Facebook? Take your pick) the awkward time you got stuck upside down…what was that contraption called again?_

_TANA: Ha, yeah let's just leave our secrets where they belong, then. But I don't think the whip story is anything to be ashamed of…it's not like it was hard core._

_SEB: Not ashamed, I just want to tell him myself. Your story however, is something to be ashamed of._

_TANA: Bitch!_

_SEB: Whore!_

_TANA: You must be busy with Blaine's birthday today and then Valentine's Day in just two weeks. Watching Big Bad Seb scramble for his little boyfriend is kind of precious. You're like an ambitious St. Bernard puppy._

_SEB: Call me a puppy again and I will rip your weave out in your sleep when_ _you come out here in two weeks_ _. And again, Blaine is not my boyfriend._

_TANA: Not from where I'm sitting._

_SEB: Well, the perspective from your broom, Hilda, is warped.._

_TANA:_ _I'll be sure to bring my broom on my visit so I can shove it up your ass_ _._

_SEB: How sweet of you to_ _think of me_ _._

_TANA: Ugh, you are a dirty boy. I don't think Blaine likes it kinky, kiddo. I think roses and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates are a safer bet for Valentine's. He is gonna be offended if you give him a whip._

_SEB: And clearly you don't know him as well as I do._

_TANA: Sometimes it really is okay to use the winky emoticon, I know you were dying to_ _there_ _._

_SEB: If I ever use an emoticon, please shoot me._

_TANA: With pleasure. Annie, are you okay?_

_SEB:_ _I gotta go - grabbing a coffee before class,_ _Smooth Criminal. Don't forget to remind the McKinley Meatballs._

_TANA: Meatballs? Really?  
_

_SEB: I don't know, I didn't eat enough for lunch and_ _I'm in_ _the Italian campus cafe. Just don't forget to remind everyone._

_TANA: Don't worry, I'll make sure your boyfriend is showered with texts and emails and love on his birthday._

_SEB: He's not my boyfriend._

_TANA: Seb, who are you guys kidding? I mean I get it, I've never been big on labels either, but there ain't nothin' else to call what you two are doing._

_SEB: San, we've been through this before - leave it be._

_TANA: You were basically boyfriends Fall quarter, but now that you have had preppy sex it's gotta be even more boyfriendy. It sounds like you still email all the time, even if it's a little less than before, and you Skype every week, but I bet now you're practically humping the webcam on those calls and he's probably got the puppy dog eyes locked._

_SEB: Hah, that's a good one - what the hell is preppy sex? Does that mean we do it in argyle socks?_

_TANA: You're missing the point. Just admit that you're boyfriends. You're doing it all now...I'm sure you're still showering him with gifts and you two are sharing every nauseating moment of your college lives with each other. Just call it what it is!_

_SEB: Are you done yet with your rant?_

_TANA: No. I bet Blainers is writing songs for you if he wasn't already, being the romantic-type of boyfriend that he is_ _. And now he_ _'s your romantic boyfriend. That's what he is, and let him call you that back! It's all good! It's a refreshing change from you being a man-whore hermit!_

_SEB: He_ _'s not my boyfriend. And a man-whore cannot also be a hermit, by definition._ _Okay, I really gotta go_ _._ _I_ _'m now in class and_ _Gomez has a new rule where she will take your phone and keep it for a day if she catches you texting._

_TANA: Yet another Latina woman who has you on lockdown. Bye, Twink._

_SEB: When you arrive for your visit, I'll be sure to lock your Latina mouth shut. Bye, Wench. Shutting down._

* * *

" _HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"  
_

" _HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"_

" _HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"_

" _HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"_

Blaine cracked open his eyes and laughed up at Sam, Mary, Liam and Scott rolling him back and forth like a log on his bed.

"Awww, you guys!"

"The light was on in your room when I went to sleep at 11 so I figured you were up late emailing Seb last night," Sam grinned. "I wanted to make sure you weren't late for classes on your birthday. You said your dance teacher will dock you if you're even late…"

Mary gave Blaine a kiss on the cheek. "Okay guys, he's awake now, let him get showered and dressed. I've got berries, bangers and mash for breakfast, so hurry out Blainey!"

Blaine sat up as the others scurried from the room. He was still half dressed and dripping from the shower when Sebastian's Skype text came through:

_SEB: Wish I was there to give you a birthday spanking. Have fun in dance class, will call you later after I spend 7 hours in bed having dreams about you in your birthday suit._

He was still smiling and reading a flood of birthday wishes on his Facebook wall when he emerged for breakfast. Looking up at him from his place setting was a framed cartoon that Sam had drawn of them as Joey and Chandler on Friends. _[](http://imgur.com/D1ywSMR) [](http://imgur.com/QZ22WMv)[source: egobus on tumblr]_

"I love it!" Blaine hugged Sam. "It's a good cautionary tale to remind me not to steal your underwear."

P

"Happy Birthday, Bro."

Mary, Liam and Scott had pitched in for an expensive bowtie in the Anderson family tartan and when Blaine opened it over vbreakfast he jumped up to give them all hugs as well.

[ ](http://imgur.com/0IMwqwK)

"So what did the Stanford boyfriend get you ?" Scott asked as he gulped down some orange juice.

"He's not my boyfriend," Blaine said, blushing. Liam and Mary exchanged looks and Sam nodded at Scott, mouthing "BOYFRIEND" silently.

"Right, because non-boyfriends give you plane tickets, send you care packages, and throw you huge gala parties at their mansions," Liam said sarcastically before sipping his coffee. Blaine glared at him. "That's right, Sammy told me. Blimey, for just your nineteenth birthday you got tuxedos, a full stage show, open bar, flowers… what will he do for your big American twenty-first birthday? Fireworks?"

"He's wealthy, those things aren't a huge deal for him," Blaine said, biting his lip and giving Sam an accusing look. "He threw that party with Sam and my other best friend Tina and my family. He's one of my best friends. Yes, it's a little complicated between us, but he's not my boyfriend."

"Yet," Mary couldn't resist saying, with a wink.

* * *

That afternoon Blaine applauded vigorously for his friend Leela, who had just finished being critiqued and questioned by Mr. Billson for her lovely performance of "The Rose" by Bette Midler.

As the applause died down Mr. Billson said, "Okay thank you, that's it." This was his usual dismissal. Blaine stood up, quickly putting his satchel strap over his head and across his chest. He clutched his phone in his pocket as he followed a few classmates down the risers. He was hoping Sebastian would call between classes - he knew he didn't have class until 9:30AM on Fridays. As he looked up to head towards the door, he noticed that not everyone had gotten out of their seats. Did he miss something?

He turned to look at Mr. Billson, who was looking at him with a frown. "Blaine, where are you going? I meant 'that's it' for Leela. We still have five minutes left and you're up." He gestured to their performance space "stage" area.

"But…" Blaine was befuddled. "But I already did my song last week - 'Gotta Be.'"

Mr. Billson looked stern. "That was your idea of completing the assignment? That was supposed to just set the tone for the week." He looked disappointed and perplexed. "Really Blaine, you're normally such a conscientious student, a leader, even. It really is quite surprising to me that you would make up an excuse like that to try to get away with not doing the work for this class. Especially the work for an assignment as important as this one."

Blaine was really thrown. He said apologetically and earnestly, "I'm sorry Mr. Billson, I must have misunderstood. I truly thought that last Friday _was_ my performance…that I was performing early for the class for this week's assignment. I'm afraid don't have anything else prepared today, but I could..."

"Killer, you should always have an encore planned." Sebastian's voice surprised Blaine so much he jumped.

He looked towards where Sebastian's voice was coming from and was thrown off again when he saw Sam walking in holding an open laptop with Sebastian's handsome and smirking face on a Skype call. Mary, Liam, Scott and almost all of his other international dorm friends came smiling behind him through the door.

Blaine broke into a huge smile but was still rendered speechless with amazement.

Sebastian continued to speak, shaking his head and smiling. "I told you that you would have these people clamoring at your feet in no time. You're lucky we all have got your back – we prepped an encore for you because we knew they would demand one."

Sam handed Blaine a few laminated pages. He gave it a quick glance and as the beloved music swelled from the small accompaniment band for the class, he looked up with a shining face at Sebastian, Sam, and Mary. Mary placed the laptop strategically on a chair higher up on the risers so Sebastian could see.

Given the number of times he had sung it in the car, in the shower, and with Cooper in front of the mirrored closet doors in the guest room of their parents' house, it was not surprising that Blaine began the first verse in perfect pitch, smiling from ear to ear as he sang the re-written lyrics for Sebastian and the classmates still seated. His closest friends gathered around him in the performance area, sweeping around him to be his players:

[Hear the song here (instrumental only)](http://youtube.com/watch?v=7GE-NqgXvG8) [ or (with original lyrics)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqpgvjX41Uc&feature=youtu.be)

[Blaine]  
 _Little school  
_ _It's a quiet Uni  
_ _Ev'ry day  
_ _Like the one before  
_ _Little school  
_ _Full of little people  
_ _Waking up to say:_

[Students]  
 _Bonjour!  
_ _Bonjour!  
_ _Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!_

[Blaine, gesturing to the pianist]  
 _There is the pianist with his books, like always_  
 _The same old songs and tunes to play_  
 _Ev'ry morning just the same_  
Since the morning that we came 

[Blaine looked at Sam and shrugged] _  
To this poor provincial school_

[Mr. Billson:] _Good Morning, Blaine!_  
[Blaine:] _'Morning, Monsieur._  
[Mr. Billson:] _Where are you off to?_  
[Blaine:] _The library. I just finished the most wonderful play about a beanstalk and an ogre and a -_  
[Mr. Billson:] _That's nice. Leela! The librettos! Hurry up!_

[Female Students]  
 _Look there he goes that boy is strange, no question  
_ _Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?_

[Mary]  
 _Never part of any crowd_

[Scott] _  
'Cause his head's up on some cloud  
_

[Students]  
 _No denying he's a funny boy that Blaine_

[Scott] _Bonjour  
_ [Tracy] _Good day  
_ [Scott] _How is your fam'ly?_

[Mary] _Bonjour  
_ [Mr. Billson] _Good day  
_ [Mary] _How is your wife?_

[Leela] _I need six songs  
_ [Scott] _That's too extensive_

[Blaine] _There must be more than this provincial life!_

[Sam] _Ah, Blaine._  
[Blaine] _Good Morning. I've come to return the play I borrowed._  
[Sam] _Finished already?_  
[Blaine] _Oh, I couldn't put it down. Have you got anything new?_  
[Sam] _Ha Ha! Not since yesterday._  
[Blaine] _That's all right. I'll borrow . . . . . this one!_  
[Sam] _That one? But you've read it twice!_  
[Blaine] _Well, it's my favorite! Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise -_  
[Sam] _If you like it all that much, it's yours!_  
[Blaine] _But sir!_  
[Sam] _I insist._  
[Blaine] _Well, thank you. Thank you very much!_

[Male Students]  
 _Look there he goes that boy is so peculiar  
_ _I wonder if he's feeling well_

[Female Students]  
 _With a dreamy far-off look_

[Male Students]  
 _And his nose stuck in a book_

[Students]  
 _What a puzzle to the rest of us is Blaine_

Blaine almost couldn't make it through the next verse as he sang it, shaking with mirth and gesturing to Sebastian's smirking face on the laptop so the audience would understand:

_Oh, isn't this amazing?_  
 _It's my fav'rite part_  
 _Because you'll see_  
 _Here's...where he meets Sebastian!_  
 _But he won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three_

The class laughed heartily at Blaine's blushing and laughing face.

[Mary] _Now it's no wonder that the girls all love him_

[Sam] _  
He makes the rest of us seem plain_  
  
 _But behind that fair facade_  
 _I'm afraid he's rather odd_  
 _Very diff'rent from the rest of us  
_  
[Students]  
 _He's nothing like the rest of us_  
 _Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is Blaine  
_

Sam and Liam earned big belly laughs for their exchange: _  
_  
[Sam] _Wow! You didn't miss a step, Liam! You're the greatest dancer in the whole world!  
_ [Liam] _I know.  
_ [Sam] _No hoofer alive stands a chance against you. Ha ha ha! And no guy, for that matter.  
_ [Liam] _It's true, Sam. And I've got my sights set on that one.  
_ [Sam] _Hm! The American composer?_  
[Liam] _He's the one - the lucky guy I'm going to marry._  
[Sam] _But he's -_  
[Liam] _The most handsome man in school._  
[Sam] _I know, but -_  
[Liam] _That makes him the best. And don't I deserve the best?_  
[Sam] _Well, of course! I mean you do, but -  
_

[Liam]  
 _Right from the moment when I met him, saw him_  
 _I said he's gorgeous and I fell_  
 _Here in town there's only he_  
 _Who is beautiful as me_  
 _So I'm making plans to woo and marry Blaine_

[Mary and the girls]  
 _Look there_  
 _he goes_  
 _Isn't he dreamy?_  
 _Monsieur Liam_  
 _Oh he's so cute_  
 _Be still my heart_  
 _I'm hardly breathing_  
 _He's such a tall, fair, strong and handsome brute_

[Scott] _Bonjour!_  
[Liam] _Pardon_  
[Sam] _Good day_  
[Mary] _Mais oui!_  
[Rebecca] _You call this sculpture?_  
[Tracy] _What lovely songs!_  
[Scott] _Some clay_  
[Leela] _And paints_  
[Sam] _one pound_  
[Liam] _'scuse me!_  
[Mary] _I'll get the knife_  
[Liam] _Please let me through!_  
[Tracy] _This step -_  
[Leela] _Those moves -_  
[Tracy] _Too fast!_  
[Leela] _No skill!_  
[Sam] _Madame's mistaken._

[Blaine] _There must be more than this provincial place!_  
[Liam] _Just watch, I'll go and make Blaine kiss my face!_

The class erupted with laughter.

[Students]  
 _Look there he goes a guy who's strange but special_  
 _He's most peculiar with hair gel_

_It's a pity and a sin_  
 _He doesn't quite fit in_  
 _'Cause he really is a funny guy_  
 _A beautiful but funny guy_  
 _He really is a funny guy_  
 _That Blaine!_

[Students]  
 _Bonjour!  
_ _Bonjour!  
_ _Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!_

Blaine burst into laughter and applauded wildly with the audience before everyone performing gave him a group hug.

[](http://imgur.com/B1wgCjN)

Mr. Billson ducked out and came back in with a large birthday cake on a rolling cart and they all sang "Happy Birthday." Sebastian couldn't see a thing with all the bodies crowding around, but he didn't care. He sat in a darkened, empty classroom at the business school smiling from ear to ear, listening to the hubbub as he reviewed his notes for his Physics quiz in the next hour.

As people sat down to eat cake, Blaine found his way to the laptop through the din, hoping Sebastian was still on the call. Happy to find that he was, he tapped the screen to get his attention and made motions for him to call his cell phone. As his phone rang a moment later, Blaine had stepped out into the quieter hallway.

Blaine's eyes shined as he collapsed against a wall. "Seb, I can't believe you guys did this! You went to so much trouble!"

"That's what you get for not letting me buy you gifts for your birthday," Sebastian smiled broadly. "And it wasn't so much trouble, you could see that our choreography couldn't be more than staged movement since I couldn't direct much via Skype. "

"Thank you so much – it was incredible." His voice grew sweet and softer." _You're_ incredible." He wanted to say _I love you so much_ , and his adoring tone reflected it.

Sebastian actually blushed in response, rubbing the back of his own neck and smiling fondly as he paced the darkened classroom. "You buttering me up again? I'd hog all the credit if I didn't know Sammy was going to set you straight. And I gotta say, your pals were quite a troop of good sports, putting up with him and me bickering like an old married couple over Skype during rehearsal."

[](http://imgur.com/oCTm4xB)

Blaine laughed. "Awww, I wish I could have seen it. You guys are all so amazing…I'm overwhelmed. You're the best, really the best..." He would have said "friend" - but that term really didn't seem to describe Sebastian anymore. He was so much more. He sighed a happy sigh, then grew quieter and sentimental again. "I wish I could thank you in person." _I wish I could kiss you,_ he wanted to say.

"I know what you mean, Killer." Sebastian said softly. He took a deep breath and pushed forward because there seemed to be nothing else to do. "But I have to go to class and I'm sure it won't be long before I get kicked out of this empty classroom I'm not supposed to be in."

"Okay," Blaine said quietly, his eyes still luminous. "Thank you again. Have a good rest of your day." _I love you ,_ he wanted to say again.

"Happy Birthday, B." Sebastian's voice was also still tuned low and sweet. _I love you,_ he wanted to say, too. "I'll call you again before you go to bed to see how the rest of your birthday went. But if you're too busy getting sloshed at the pub don't worry about picking up, we can just talk tomorrow. Just remember we have to do it before 10AM my time because of the game."

"Okay," Blaine said, feeling reluctant to go but trying to infuse his voice with as much gratitude as he felt. ""If we don't talk have a great game - score some points for me. And thank you again, you are wonderful. I wish so much you were here. Bye!"

"Me too, bye." Sebastian said, swallowing thickly as he hung up. He was gratified that the birthday surprise had come off but at the same time he found himself feeling more embittered than usual about the miles and circumstances that separated them.

Liam, Sam, Scott and Marty were trailing out of the classroom with the other students. They stopped in front of Blaine as he was hanging up. Liam mocked Blaine's breathless tone. " I wish soooooo much you were here! Byyyyyyee!"

Sam, Mary and Scott laughed as Blaine blushed and hit Liam in the arm.

"His nose stuck in a book! Those Stanford preppy looks!" sang Liam, prancing down the hall. "What a puzzle to the rest of us is 'Seb'!"

Sam had one arm around Mary's shoulders and the other around Blaine's, ruffling his curls affectionately. He led their friends in singing as they all marched down to the pub. Blaine blushed redder when he heard the verse they chose as a reprise:

 _Oh, isn't this amazing?  
It's my fav'rite part  
Because you'll see  
Here's...where he meets Sebastian!  
But he won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three  
_ _  
_Liam shouted between verses: "Not your boyfriend, my arse!"

_Now it's no wonder that the girls all love him_  
 _He makes the rest of us seem plain_  
 _But behind that fair facade_  
 _I'm afraid he's rather odd_

_Very diff'rent from the rest of us_  
 _He's nothing like the rest of us_  
 _Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is Blaine!_

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Blaine Anderson  
CC: Rob Dean, Sam Evans  
Date: February 2, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Mr. Smythe:_

_My colleagues and I have conferred and we are ready offer the following settlement:_

_1) We are willing to accept all of terms in your January 30, 2014 email EXCEPT_

_a) Item 10 – anyone having to touch any of your dirty clothing is a non-starter_

_b) Item 11 – you may choose the actual restaurant IF we all get to vote on the type of food (Italian, Chinese, etc.) for three of the six nights we are there. In the event of a two versus two vote, you may break the tie._

_2) In place of Item 10 above, Mr. Evans and I are willing to offer to sing two additional songs per night on our guitars._

_3) In exchange for your demands, we have a few of our own_

_a) At the karaoke bars we demand that you duet with me at least 3 times (you have a fantastic voice but when we go to karaoke bars you always want to just drink scotch and listen to me sing. This is lazy and disappointing to your fans.)_

_b) If you are going to be selecting the restaurants, we demand that you pay for dinner and four drinks per person every night._

_c) When we go to straight bars you are not to spend the entire night flirting with Blaine but instead will be required to play wingman for Rob and Sam to obtain a minimum of two phone numbers per each._

_d) We demand you wear a Harry Potter t-shirt on the last day of the convention._

_e) We demand you read_ The Chamber of Secrets _._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
CC: Rob Dean, Sam Evans  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms 

_Mr. Anderson:_

_Items 1 and 2 are acceptable. 3a, 3b, 3c and 3e are acceptable. 3d is not. I will not wear any kind of Harry Potter paraphernalia, period._

* * *

_To: Rob Dean, Sam Evans_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: February 2, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_I knew that would be the one he wouldn't agree to. Oh well._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Rob Dean_  
 _CC: Sam Evans_  
 _Date: February 1, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_You don't need to back down. He is dying to see you. As if a t-shirt would keep him from coming._

__

* * *

_To: Rob Dean_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _CC: Sam Evans_  
 _Date: February 1, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

__

Do you really think so? He's such a clotheshorse, I can see him putting up a stink. But it would be such richness to see him wear one!

__

__

_Like this one:_

  
[ ](http://imgur.com/maqbhkW)

_or even better, this one:_

  
[ ](http://imgur.com/epIxuyb)

__

But what can we offer him to get him to say yes?

__

* * *

_To: Rob Dean  
From: Sam Evans  
CC: Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 2, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Do any of us really care that much if he wears the t-shirt, or not? That was more like a joke. Seb's going to upgrading us to a better hotel and buying dinner plus drinks every night - let's just give in._

* * *

__

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Rob Dean  
CC: Sam Evans  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Maybe I'm not being clear. You guys really do not need to back down. In fact, I bet you can get him to pay for breakfast, too. And for cab rides to the convention and to the bars every night. Believe me, this is just a game – Seb would come on this trip even if you made him ride a quidditch broom downstairs for breakfast every morning._

* * *

_To: Rob Dean  
From: Sam Evans  
CC: Blaine Anderson  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_At first I thought you were being greedy, but then I remembered that you actually have to share a dorm with Seb. Every day. All year. So I'm with you buddy, you should milk this for all it's worth._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Blaine Anderson  
CC: Rob Dean, Sam Evans  
Date: February 2, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_3d is critical for group morale. We urge you to reconsider your decision._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
CC: Rob Dean, Sam Evans  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_In order to consider this unseemly demand, I would need to know what you would be willing to offer in exchange._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
_ _From: Sam Evans  
CC: Blaine Anderson, Rob Dean  
Date: February 2, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms  
_

_If Blaine promises to give you a lap dance every night, will you wear the t-shirt and pay for our cab fare to the convention and to the bars every night? And breakfast?_

* * *

_To: Sam Evans  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
CC: Blaine Anderson, Rob Dean  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Deal. Hell, I'd wear the t-shirt all week and throw in unlimited drinks if he's does that._

_Sammy, you're off my list if you can pull this off ._

* * *

_To: Sam Evans  
From: Blaine Anderson  
CC: Rob Dean, Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 2, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Mr. Evans spoke out of turn. Said offer is not valid. Instead I add to the offer on the table that Mr. Evans will go shirtless to the gay bars we visit ._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
CC: Sam Evans, Rob Dean  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_What would it cost me to have you guys do both of those things? I might sell my car if I had to. Rob could always drive me to the cleaners and the grocery store._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Rob Dean  
CC: Sam Evans, Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_What if Seb only has to wear the t-shirt for an hour on the last day, and for that, Blaine will give him one non-boyfriendish kiss._

_You two gay bullies should lay off Sam._

_I have to get to bed, so let's wrap this up fellas._

* * *

_To: Rob Dean  
From: Blaine Anderson  
CC: Sam Evans, Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 2, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Fine. But we're talking about a peck here._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
CC: Rob Dean, Sam Evans  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Fine. But don't expect the t-shirt to see the light of day from under my hoodie unless you're prepared to offer some open-mouthed action._

_Presuming that won't be the case...Mr. Anderson, when you say you're talking about a peck here, the corollary is a peck WHERE? I have a few ideas of where I'd like you to peck me_.

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Blaine Anderson  
CC: Rob Dean, Sam Evans  
Date: February 2, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_You're about to get bounced from this vacation if you keep that kind of talk up._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
CC: Rob Dean, Sam Evans  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_I miss you too, Killer._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson  
From: Rob Dean  
CC: Sam Evans  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Get a room. Oh pardon me, you already have one. A Skype chat room. So go in there._

* * *

_To: Rob Dean  
From: Sam Evans  
CC: Blaine Anderson, Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 1, 2014  
Subject: Re: Spring Break Terms_

_Rob, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship ._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 9, 2014  
Subject: quick things  
_

_Hey you,_

_Headed to bed but wanted to check in really quick. Just wanted to make sure you were able to triple check that they won't use down pillows in Sam's and my room in Florida? I don't know why you won't let me just call them directly. Appreciate you doing it though, it would be terrible if Sam had an allergic reaction on this trip, he's so excited about this trip - you have no idea how excited. I'm excited too, it will be great to see you._

_I also wanted to check in with you about Valentine's Day. I thought I would let you know that I bought all my closest friends Valentine's gifts this year, so keep your eye out for something small from me in the mail. BUT in no way, shape or form should you feel obligated to buy me something in return. And I REALLY mean that. I guess didn't really mean it at Christmas because I love Christmas and the gift-giving tradition that time of year so much and I turn into a little kid that time of year. But I absolutely acknowledge that Valentine's is traditionally a holiday for sweethearts and since we are not boyfriends I would in no way expect you to give me anything, not even a card._

_Okay?_

_Love,_

_Blaine  
_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 9, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing  
_

_Pillow situation is taken care of._

_And_ _I just checked my trust fund balance. Yes, let's keep the awkward sexual tension going 'til after Valentine's Day so I can avoid having to buy you a gift ._

[ ](http://imgur.com/LRYmcfB)

  


* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 10, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing_

_Ha! The problem is that you don't find it at all awkward. But maybe I feel awkward enough for both of us. :D_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 10, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing_

_To alleviate any awkwardness, I'm happy to fly out to Scotland this weekend when Valentine's Day is over to break said tension in the hottest way possible. The way I know you like it. And in new ways you haven't even dreamed of yet ._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 10, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing  
_

_Santana and Dani are visiting you this weekend so I know you don't mean that!_

_Yes, I'm blushing. In places I didn't know I could blush. You are beyond impossible. These emails are getting worse with each passing week._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 10, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing_

_I don't hear you complaining. And you sound terribly disappointed about this weekend._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 11, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing  
_

_No, I was just calling you on your baldfaced lie about coming this weekend! You_ _can't!_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 11, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing_

_Not at all a lie. Santana and Dani would understand. At least I know Santana would._

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe  
From: Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 11, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing  
_

_I'm going to bed, you continue to be hopeless._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 11, 2014  
Subject: Re: quick thing_

_And you continue to love it. Good night, Killer._

* * *

Sebastian heard a pounding on his door. "MONSIEURS SMYTHE AND DEAN!"

Rob chuckled from his room. "What if we pretend we're not home?"

Sebastian was less amused. "I think he saw me come in the building earlier – he was playing badminton out back with Roger."

"Maybe if we're quiet enough he'll think we died."

"Worth a try." Sebastian furrowed his brow. "Wait, Rob when you came in did you lock the…"

The door burst open. "ROBERTO! SEÑOR SMYTHE!"

"Tomás," Rob got up and strolled out to the living room. "When did you become Spanish? And when did you move in here?"

"Müller, has anyone introduced you to an American legal action known as the restraining order?" called Sebastian from his bedroom.

Thomas came through the bedroom doorway with Rob behind him. "I am ignoring your snide insults today, Herr Smythe, because it is Friday and another beautiful California afternoon. Sir Roger, Young Jay and I are to go to the Coupa Cafe' Patio for lunch and the Swim Team's Valentine's Day Dunking Booth fundraiser, you must come with us!"

Sebastian weighed his options for a moment.

Thomas reached over to shut his laptop. "It is Friday afternoon and it is Valentine's day, you cannot Skype your Scottish boyfriend, you must find a Valentine here."

Sebastian slapped his hands away with a threatening look. "He's not my boyfriend. And I was not Skyping."

Thomas crossed his arms. "You also cannot study on a Friday afternoon. It is against the rules of American society. Once again, I am a better American than you."

"You are not an American until I see a green card at a minimum. And I told Roger I have friends coming from out of town late tonight. They're spending the whole long weekend, so I have to get homework out of the way."

They heard a knocking at the front door. "Hey Rob! Seb! Did Thomas come through here?"

"In here, Roger!" Rob called.

Roger's head appeared in the doorway, "So are you guys coming?" He noticed Sebastian's open laptop. "Oh, do we have to wait for you to Skype your boyfriend for Valentine's Day?"

"No. And he's not my boyfriend," Sebastian shook his head, looking exasperated.

Roger looked skeptical. "Really? Every Saturday when I come to get you for basketball, you're Skyping with that black-haired guy. I just figured…"

"Yes," Thomas interrupted. "Every Saturday you are Skyping with eyes in the shape of hearts. The black haired boy is his boyfriend."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows pointedly. "Again, he's not my boyfriend. And you are pushing very close to the line there, Müller."

Thomas turned to Rob. "You live with him. This boy in Scotland is his boyfriend, no? In Lake Tahoe he told Jay his heart belonged to another. It must be this Skype sweetheart!"

Rob drew his hands up and replied calmly, "I know nothing. I just rent a room here."

Thomas retorted, "Robert, you protect him! You must know more. Why does Herr Smythe want to deny his existence? And whatever is the appeal? Does he have even more money than young Sebastian?"

Sebastian got out of his chair, knocking Thomas out of the way. "Müller, you've fucking hurdled over the line." He strode into the living room and grabbed his bottle of water to drink.

Rob followed him quickly. He put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder and said to him quietly, "Don't let him get to you - that's what he wants."

Sebastian exhaled and began to compose himself under Rob's steadying influence.

"Hey guys! Is anyone coming?" Jay's voice was heard down the hall.

"We're in here!" Roger called as he dragged Thomas by the ear out into the living room.

Jay ducked his head in the open doorway, his expression growing puzzled as he noticed Sebastian's still somewhat annoyed expression and Thomas' chastened one.

Jay looked at Thomas and sighed. "Thomas, may I teach you something about persuasion? I'm pretty sure this works cross-culturally. Watch this." He turned to Sebastian and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Sebastian, want to grab some lunch with us? It would be good to catch up, we haven't seen you for a week or so." He turned back to Thomas. "Then you lather, rinse and repeat with Rob."

Roger came over to Sebastian to appeal as well. "Come on Seb, it's only noon and you said those out-of-town friends aren't landing until 11PM. You have plenty of time to study. And you have to eat. Plus, there'll be male swimmers getting dunked, too."

"Male swimmers in speedos…" Jay added, raising his eyebrows and licking his lips comically.

Sebastian relented, a small smile appearing finally. "Fine. Tommy you are lucky that these boys know the key to persuading me." He and Roger grasped hands in an over-the-top-macho handgrip and the five of them laughed as they headed out.

As Rob, Roger and Thomas began a discussion over various Winter Olympics events, Jay and Sebastian dropped behind them and caught up on their respective school workloads, baseball vs. lacrosse training, and Sebastian's first two lacrosse games.

"I still don't know how you do it all," Jay shook his head with a smile before he changed the subject. "Oh hey, Eric Hulter just joined LGBT and gave us his coming out story at lunch today. He told his parents last weekend. That was the guy from Roble you suspected, right?"

"Yes," Sebastian nodded with satisfaction. "I knew it – Jessica owes me 50 bucks. She thinks she knows everything. To her credit though, she didn't out him on her Roble gossip blog." Sebastian chuckled, "Did you tell Thomas already? He's been talking me up to Eric for weeks and embarrassing the shit out of the guy before he even came out."

"Nope, I'll let you give Herr Müller the glad tidings." Jay laughed. "Hey, I wonder if he's been talking me up to Eric, too. If not, I'll be offended."

"I'm sure he has. Such a yenta, he's likely to be covering his bases."

Jay shook his head with good-natured smile. "I don't know, maybe he's given up on me because I struck out so hard with you."

They chuckled together easily, which pleased Sebastian. They had hung out a few times in the same groups of friends after Tahoe, but had not talked one on one. There hadn't been an opportunity for awkwardness because they hadn't really had to interact, and Sebastian had always been good at compartmentalizing. But when Jay showed up earlier in his dorm room, Sebastian had wondered if things would be awkward. Thankfully, Jay seemed to genuinely be taking it all in stride.

"Well, he should know that wasn't your fault," said Sebastian as they smiled at each other.

"Oh, you know Thomas, he thought I should have not been deterred and simply rigged an anti-Skype virus on your computer so you couldn't dial Scotland." Jay rolled his eyes and smiled with both regret and good humor. "I can't believe he didn't tell me about your guy before I went and made a drunken play for you."

Sebastian chuckled, impressed again by Jay's grace about the whole thing. "I think we're all learning the complete lack of boundaries on the Herr Müller. "

They had reached the campus café, which was heavily decorated in Valentine's swag and full of gift options. "Ugh," Jay said as they got into line for their coffees. "I'm all for flair, but these decorations are just tacky. I mean, what the hell is this supposed to be?" He reached to a nearby shelf picked up a red stuffed bear tightly wrapped in a white garment.

"Oh come on," said Sebastian, taking it from him and dancing it menacingly in the air front of him. "It's a straitjacket, this bear is clearly crazy in love with you like Beyoncé."

Jay pushed away the toy, wrinkling his nose in disgust and then jumping when it started to sing "She drives me crazy! Ooh! Ooh! Like no one else! Ooh, ooh!"

Sebastian started laughing. "Even better, a classic cheesey oldie from a couple of decades back. It's supposed to be adorable...you're not finding it adorable?" He pushed it into Jay's face.

Jay grabbed it from him and started smacking Sebastian on the arm with it. They wrangled for a moment before being propelled forward in line by Thomas and Roger.

"Save your affections for the bedroom, sweethearts!" Thomas chimed, earning glares from both Sebastian and Jay before they put in their coffee orders and bought a couple of sandwiches.

"I can't believe you just asked for a shot of courvoisier in your coffee..." 

"What?"

"You're just…you're out there."

"When I lived in Paris I drank it like it was mother's milk. This is the only café on campus who said they'd stock it for me if I paid them up front for it."

Jay rolled his eyes and straightened his clothes from their tussle. As they waited for their coffees, Jay gestured at the Valentine's mug display next to them with a groan. "Seriously, this is all a simple excuse to sell candy and greeting cards on a holiday."

Sebastian remarked dryly, "I hate to break it to you, but people have been celebrating Valentine's Day for centuries."

Jay looked at him, looking baffled and skeptical.

"What, I'm not allowed to know about romantic things? You must really think I'm a cynical bastard." Sebastian, acting offended.

"It doesn't mesh with the rich bad boy thing," Jay crossed his arms and continued to wait for an explanation. "How is it that you know about the history of Valentine's Day?"

Sebastian looked sideways to conjure up an explanation. "History class in high school."

"Liar."

"He questioned my honor…" Sebastian smirked as he remembered the last time he used that line.

"I spend hours a day sculpting facial features. I can tell when someone is lying, even someone who has done it as much as you have," Jay said smugly as they sat down at a table on one wall of the cafe. They waved off Rob, Roger and Thomas, who went outside with their lunch to sit near the dunk booth.

Sebastian was impressed and amused. "Touché." He waved a hand in defeat. "Fine, fine…I know all about St. Valentine because Blaine is a hopeless romantic and it's his favorite holiday…along with Christmas." Sebastian's eyes sparkled just a touch and Jay twinkled when he noticed the quick, small, sweet smile that often appeared when Sebastian allowed himself to think about Blaine.

"Ah, so that's his name, sort-of-boyfriend Blaine," Jay smiled. " Thomas just refers to him as 'the Muppet from Scotland.'"

Sebastian looked up at him darkly and arched an eyebrow at him.

Jay raised his hands in defense. "Hey, that's Thomas talking, not me!" He continued with a gentle smile, "I figure Blaine must be a pretty special guy to attract your rich bad-boy heart."

Sebastian didn't answer as he sipped his coffee. His heart was aching a little, as it always did when he let himself think about Blaine too long.

Jay sensed it and tactfully changed the subject. "Anyway, are you going to the LGBT Valentine's Day thing later? I swear I'm not hitting on you, I'm just wondering. And it's supposed to be for everyone, people who hate Valentine's Day, singles, couples, whatever. It's just an LGBT party, basically."

"Maybe. I really do have those friends coming tonight and I have this monster paper to write."

"Please, will you come with me as my non-date? There will be free drinks for those of us with decent fake IDs..." Jay widened his big blue eyes pleadingly.

Sebastian narrowed his own eyes at him. "What's this about? I've seen you in action, Romeo. You don't need a wingman. I'd throw you off, in fact. I'm not even sure our styles would work well together." He looked thoughtful as he bit down into his sandwich, imagining how they might play off of each other in a gay bar together in the Castro. On appearances alone, they would attract attention, he decided with amusement.

"Okay, I'm going to come right out with this. Someone else is cramping my style. This guy Gary has been all over me at these LGBT things even though I've been straight up telling him I'm not interested. So I've been trying every friend I have in turn to help me get through to this guy. He seems to think we're all kidding. So it's your turn." He took a bite of his lunch and widened his eyes again in entreaty.

"Stop looking at me like your bunny Snuggles Cottontail just died. Why don't you just _not_ go? Then he can find someone else to stalk."

"My friend Kathy made me promise to come because she's on the committee that planned this thing. And I've tried not showing, for three events in a row, but he keeps bouncing into my face the minute I walk in the door at the next party."

"It must be hard to be so addictingly attractive. He can't shake you," Sebastian teased, licking aioli off a finger.

Jay looked grim. "He seriously doesn't know how to take no for an answer and he's ruining all these parties for me. PLEASE will you come and help me get through to him? Come on, not all of us have sort-of-boyfriends waiting in the wings for us."

"Sure. This actually sounds like a fun situation – maybe not for you, but for me. I love telling people to shove off."

Jay face lit up with gratitude. "There's the bad-boy! I knew he was in there somewhere. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I appreciate it." He shook his head with another rueful smile. "But you're cruel to enjoy my situation. You'll understand how cruel when you meet this guy. He's like my anti-Valentine." Jay guzzled his coffee.

"He sounds like he has horns," Sebastian chuckled and took a bite of his sandwich.

Jay rubbed his forehead. "I'm going to a Valentine's Day Party with a guy who has a sort-of boyfriend where we will be shooting down someone that I have zero interest in. God, I hate this holiday. "

Sebastian reached over and patted his head. "Hey, it could be worse. You could be Thomas." He pointed out the window at Thomas, who had stripped down to his boxers to volunteer for the dunk tank.

When Thomas' antics only drew a half smile from Jay, Sebastian furrowed his brow. "Damn, you really hate this guy," he remarked. "I had better bring my lacrosse stick to give him a beat down."

"It's not him," Jay shook his head. "Sorry." His handsome features were suddenly bitter. "It's just…my ex-boyfriend loved Valentine's Day."

Sebastian tried to think of what Blaine or Nick or David would say. "Sorry, man."

Jay turned back to Sebastian, looking a bit abashed. "No, _I'm_ sorry – I don't mean to be a drag."

Sebastian shrugged. "You're not."

Jay gave him a half smile. "You can be nice for a bad-boy. Ugh...I'm just…still working through that whole thing. It was just baffling."

"How so?" Sebastian asked quietly and took a bite of his lunch, feeling like he was listening to one of Blaine's stories.

"We dated for a year – we were in the same year in school – then I got in here and he got into UC San Diego for engineering. We had met each other's families, said 'I love you' and talked about how we could make long distance thing work. We thought since we would be in the same time zone and could afford to fly to see each other pretty often, we might defy the odds." The bitter creases reappeared on Jay's face. "And then he broke up with me two days before orientation here. On the phone."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything since it was clear Jay wasn't finished venting.

"He said he was sorry but that he didn't want a long distance relationship. It was such a 180 from everything we had talked about the whole summer. It was all such a shock. I mean, sure I know that tons of people came back to school after Thanksgiving broken up with their high school sweethearts...but we thought we would be different. Now I look back on it and I know I was being naive. But at the time it felt like I had the rug pulled out from under me and there was nothing but the hole to a well underneath me."

"That was shitty of him to wait until right before you left for school," Sebastian said.

"Yeah. He just freaked out, I guess." Jay sighed. "So that's my sob story. I'm trying to move on, but it can be hard sometimes, because I don't feel like I got a lot of closure. The break-up phone call was awkward and short. I was in a daze for the first couple of weeks of school."

"I bet."

"And say what you will about him, but Thomas was actually really cool to me during Orientation when I was kind of a space cadet."

"I can see that," Sebastian glanced outside. "He can be shockingly human at times." He paused, sensing Jay wouldn't mind a follow-up. "Did you see your ex over the holidays?"

Jay gave an almost imperceptible sigh. "No, his family spent the entire time on some kind of family reunion cruise with his mother's side of the family. At least, that's what I heard from our friends. I told him I didn't want to talk to him for an indefinite amount of time. But of course that meant I just thought about him way too much over vacation – Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve..."

Sebastian almost felt guilty for his near-perfect Christmas vacation with Blaine. "It just takes time," he said, feeling like a cliché.

"Yeah, I guess so," said Jay. There was a pause and he groped for something else to talk about, wanting to move on. "So are you and Blaine avoiding Valentine's Day because of your sort-of-boyfriend status?"

"Sort-of," Sebastian joked. Then he studied his coffee, looking slightly uncertain. "I don't know, Blaine sent an email a couple of days ago saying he's sending me something because he's sending all of his friends gifts on Valentine's Day, but that I didn't need to send anything since we aren't dating."

Jay smiled and raised his eyebrows. "You know that means you need to send him something back, right? That is, assuming you are still game for heading toward the boyfriend zone?"

Sebastian looked away. "I don't really buy into holidays that much, though sometimes I get stuff for people when I feel like it. Like I ordered him something a couple of weeks ago that should be arriving about now, so I guess that could be seen as something..."

Jay nodded, but didn't push making eye contact. He sensed that he had treaded into tricky territory again. After a slightly awkward pause he spoke up again. "Should we go out and see how the dunk tank guys are looking?"

The stood up and discarded the remnants of their lunch. Jay put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder as they walked out. "Hey, thanks for listening. And thanks again for coming to the party with me later – we don't have to stay long, I just want to get this guy off my back as soon as possible so I can enjoy the parties for the rest of the year."

"What time is the party, anyway?" Sebastian asked as he leaned against the outside wall of the café, checking out the ass of a blond swimmer.

"6:30-8:30."

Sebastian looked at his watch. "Okay, if it's that early then I should take off and get a move on my stupid paper."

"Go, go." Jay waved him off. "I'll tell the guys you had to leave."

Sebastian nodded and turned to go. He said over his shoulder before he started walking, "While I walk back to my room I'll start formulating ways to kick this Gary guy to the curb."

Jay laughed as he leaned up against the wall. "Why didn't I come to you sooner?"

[ ](http://imgur.com/VcGS0pk)

"For the same reason why you're in this mess. You're too nice."

Before Sebastian could turn around again, a dripping Thomas came by, clutching his clothes. As he passed them he asked, "So will you leave your Skype boyfriend and make young Jay here your swain instead?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Sebastian groaned.

"He's not his boyfriend!" Jay yelled at him before Thomas disappeared through the crowd towards the restroom.

* * *

Blaine jumped at the knock at the door. "Come in," he called from the sofa, pausing his movie.

Liam ducked his head in the door. "Scott's rounding folks for a singles' outing to the pub – want to join in, or are you about to Skype your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Blaine said with resignation. "But no, Sebastian and I don't have a Skype call scheduled. We only Skype on Saturdays and this isn't a day we usually email."

Liam chuckled. "You two have such a regimented communications protocol. What is he, an engineering major?"

Blaine chose not to admit as much. "It's not that rigid – we have a general understanding, but it's a loose guideline – we can feel free to call or email more or less if we'd like."

"Then why don't you call him? It's Valentine's Day…" Liam came into the room and looked at the TV. "And you're watching 'When Harry Met Sally.' Yeah, it's time to call him, mate."

Blaine's big eyes looked uncertain. "Liam, it's not a big deal. Valentine's Day doesn't mean a lot to us – he's not the sentimental type."

"He organized a singing and dancing production for you for your birthday, Blainers." Liam said with a gentle smile. "I think there's some sweetness to this bloke."

"Well that was for my birthday – people do things for their friends' birthdays. Valentine's Day is for sweethearts, married people, boyfriends. And like I said, we're not boyfriends."

Sam and Mary came in the door holding hands.

"How was dinner, lovers?" Liam asked.

"Great," smiled Sam.

"Lovely," Mary beamed.

"I'm trying to convince Blaine to call his little boyfriend for Valentine's Day."

"He's not my boyfriend."

Sam cocked his head. "And he's not little. But yeah, I totally thought you would be Skyping Seb right now, what gives?"

"You guys," Blaine sounded slightly irritated. "It's just Valentine's day, it's not a big deal – we don't have to talk just because it's Valentine's Day."

"But he's your boyfriend," Scott said from the open door. "Why aren't you calling him? I told Liam not to bother to ask you."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Blaine exploded.

The whole room looked at him in silence.

Sam said patiently, "Blaine, Valentine's Day is your favorite holiday – along with Christmas." You even got him a watch for Valentine's Day. Whatever you want to call him, Seb's your guy – just call him, it's Valentine's Day, you guys should have a little whisper and a coo."

Blaine looked at him with building exasperation. "We do not coo! And that watch was not a big deal, I bought all my friends a little something for Valentine's day. Because I love all my friends."

"Yeah, you left us cookies," Liam said sarcastically, " _That's_ the same as a watch. He's your boyfriend - just wear it like a badge of honour."

"Well come on, I love you and Scott, but Seb and I go way back. He's one of my best friends." Blaine said in a matter of fact tone. "Sam is too, and I got him a nice gift, too."

"You got me socks," Sam said dryly, putting his hands on his hips. "CALL HIM."

"Leave him alone," Mary said defensively, sitting down with Blaine on the sofa and hooking her arm in his. "What kind of watch was it?" she asked in a curious undertone.

Blaine lit up a little and pulled his IPad off the coffee table and pulled up a website to show her quietly. "A Movado, it's got a stopwatch on it, and it's ultra waterproof, for when he swims in the ocean for triathlons. And…" he cut himself off when Sam appeared hovering above them.

[ ](http://imgur.com/3NZxrt2)

Sam had walked over to have a look. "Awww…and it has two faces on it so Seb knows what time it is in Scotland any time he wants. And…" he leaned closer to the Ipad and his eyes grew wide. And it cost $600! CALL HIM."

"Call him! Call him! Call him! Call him! Call him! Call him!" Sam, Liam and Scott chanted.

Blaine pulled Mary into his bedroom and closed the door, looking a little panicked as the chanting continued outside. "Mary, do you think I'm going to freak Sebastian out with that gift? I just…I just saw it and really wanted to get it for him. But I thought it wouldn't necessarily seem like a big deal to him, I mean I told him I get all my friends gifts for Valentines...and, well, $600 isn't a big deal to him." He realized he was grasping at straws. "But he probably didn't get me anything, so maybe in comparison it's going to seem like too much…"

Mary bit her lip, trying to formulate a response.

Suddenly they heard louder exclamations than the earlier chanting coming from the living room. "Blaine, get out here!"

"No!" Blaine yelled through the door. "Not unless you promise to stop being obnoxious."

Sam opened the door without knocking. "You're not going to care if we're obnoxious. Get out here!"

Blaine looked puzzled and he and Mary hurried out to the living room where Scott was looking over a very large, oblong cardboard box. "Look what came for you! The front desk just dragged it up here, they said it got lost in the bowels of the post office in the last couple of days," he said.

Blaine broke into a smile, knowing there was only one person a box this big could be from. Liam came through the front door with an Exacto knife from his flat and cut the box open quickly. The cardboard and packing material fell away, revealing solid, bright red paper and ribbon around another box. Blaine pulled the card off and motioned to the others to tear away the paper. "It's a keyboard!" They all exclaimed.

Sam looked at it closely. "Jeez, I shouldn't be surprised, but this is a Yamaha CFIII. It's what Elton John uses."

Blaine looked up with shiny eyes. He had been reading the card:

_Because you should never have to sit in a freezing horsestall shaped practice room with a piece of crap piano fighting off emos again."_

"Not your boyfriend! HAH!" Liam snorted.

Blaine was beaming but he tossed his head. "He's not my boyfriend," he said definitively, waving the card. "It doesn't say 'Happy Valentine's Day' on here. He's just a very thoughtful friend who just sends me stuff sometimes."

"Yeah, sending Santana $100 gift cards and dropping five grand on this…that's the same thing." Sam said sarcastically, grinning and rolling his eyes.

Blaine's Ipad began to ring and everyone smiled as he grabbed it and ran for his bedroom. Sam was already at the door, holding it open, winking at him and closing it behind him.

[ ](http://imgur.com/ZbXhAA0)

"Hey Killer," Sebastian face appeared with a broad smile. "Are you trying to bribe me with this beautiful gift? I'm telling you, you keep this up and you're going to be able to earn some very inappropriate action from me in Florida."

Blaine's face was glowing. "Oh, I'm so glad you like it. But it's kind of nothing compared to that keyboard! Your timing couldn't be better, I literally just cut the box open. Oh my god Seb, a Yamaha CFIII! It's too much! It's amazing!"

"It's not too much, I got it for purely selfish reasons. I'm impatient for my next Blaine Anderson private release CD and those school toy pianos were not doing the job." Sebastian beamed at the thrilled look on Blaine's face. He extended his wrist for the webcam. "And don't call this nothing. It's the best part of my wardrobe. I may never take it off."

Blaine tilted his head to the side and said earnestly, "I know your Tag Heuer is much nicer, but…"

Sebastian interrupted him. "I hate that thing, my dad's secretary picked it out for me for my graduation and I only use it for utilitarian purposes. I'll donate it, if Goodwill even wants the ugly thing. You have much better taste and now we can ensure that I never call you drunk after the pub with Rob at the wrong time again."

"Sam _was_ a little bitter with the Skype ring going off in the living room at 5AM." Blaine laughed.

They heard Rob's voice in the other room calling out, "Hey, non-boyfriend! Make him give his Tag to me!"

Sebastian stood up and picked the old watch up off the dresser. "Stop eavesdropping!" he shouted, throwing the watch out of his door at Rob and closing the door.

Blaine laughed again. Sebastian turned around and they smiled each other softly before they were both were sobered with tender affection, finding they didn't want to banter for once. 

_[](http://imgur.com/pXrSS1q)[](http://imgur.com/aaGOf1H)_

__

Then they heard it, the new Yamaha cranked up to full volume, accompanied by Sam, Liam, and Scott singing at the top of their lungs. Sebastian facepalmed and Blaine covered his blushing face with both hands the moment they recognized the tune:

_

_[Hear it here: youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=lJb1ssF7040 ]_

No New Year's Day to celebrate  
No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away  
No first of spring  
No song to sing  
In fact here's just another ordinary day 

No April rain  
No flowers bloom  
No wedding Saturday within the month of June  
But what it is, is something true  
Made up of these three words that I must say to you  


_Sebastian shouted over the first verse, "Do you have an old watch to throw at them?"_

_

Blaine chuckled. "I've learned that when I throw things it only encourages them. I think we have to just ignore them." 

They found the din was too much for them to talk much more, so they had to give up and listen to the rest of the serenade, pretending to be annoyed. "That Liam guy should be in your musical theatre program," Sebastian remarked loudly into his laptop microphone. 

"I know, I keep telling him to at least come to London and audition with us," Blaine shouted back.

Sebastian nodded and they both smiled and shook their heads at the chorus: 

__

_I just called to say I love you_  
 _I just called to say how much I care_  
 _I just called to say I love you_  
 _And I mean it from the bottom of my heart_

"Stevie Wonder really should have stuck to funk. I'm not sure a cheesier song has ever been written," Sebastian said loudly into the microphone. 

"I don't know, 'Danke schon'?!" Blaine shouted and grinned. 

"True, that is a good contender! But…the entire Wham catalogue!" 

"Hey!"

"I'm not alone in this opinion!" 

"Shut up!" 

They lapsed into silence again, smiling at each other, glancing away at moments when it became too painfully sweet and chuckling at Sam and Liam adding vibrato and otherwise clowning their way through the serenade. 

_I just called to say I love you_  
 _I just called to say how much I care, I do_  
 _I just called to say I love you_  
 _And I mean it from the bottom of my heart_

"Hey, Killer?" Sebastian said with a small smile when their troubadours paused between verses.

"Mmm hmm?" Blaine smiled back dreamily, nodding encouragingly.

Sebastian leaned his face on one hand, arched an eyebrow and smirked at him. "Happy Valentine's Day," he said into the microphone.

Blaine grinned back. "Happy Valentine's Day, Seb!" They laughed together at their droll situation, but Blaine's puppy dog eyes were back and they looked at each other lovingly until they both laughed again at the ridiculous last line:

_I just called to say I love you_  
 _I just called to say how much I care, I do_  
 _I just called to say I love you_  
 _And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart,_  
 _bottom of my heart_

_CHA CHA CHA!_

"Want to watch a movie?" Sebastian asked when the song finally ended. He sat up straight to move things along before his heart could start aching from missing Blaine so much.

Blaine followed his lead. "Didn't you say in your email yesterday that you'd be spending this whole afternoon studying because Santana and Dani are coming tonight?"

"I have time. Unless you have a Valentine's date?" Sebastian was joking of course, but a tiny piece of him quavered at the thought.

"No, silly." Blaine grinned back at him. "Wow, okay, this is an unexpected treat. What shall we watch?"

"Blue Valentine, of course."

"What?! That is the most depressing movie about love ever made!"

Sebastian laughed. "I'm kidding! Whatever you want. And I know that's _When Harry Met Sally._ "

Blaine bit his lip. "But my copy is in the living room and I'm scared if I go out there they'll sing another song."

"Are you kidding? Isn't it like 10:30PM? Sam is absolutely on his way to getting laid by now, presumably in another room."

"Well it _has_ been quiet for a minute or two… but I don't know, Liam and Scott have been known to sit on our couch until 3 in the morning because I stock better food here than in their flat."

"Oh just go out there."

"I feel like you want to watch this movie more than I do," teased Blaine.

" No, I know you do and I'm trying to be considerate. And you're questioning my motives which makes me want to not be considerate ever again," Sebastian stuck out his lower lip.

"Aww, you are so sweet - I'm sorry. But really, I'm afraid to go out there because Liam will start making jokes about Skype sex and start singing again."

"Well then we shouldn't disappoint him, should we?" Sebastian arched an eyebrow.

Blaine stood up and pouted at the webcam with his hands on his hips. "It's Valentine's Day. Sweetness and love is the priority for me on Valentine's Day, not your sexy flirting. You got it? I'm serious."

"Okay, okay," Sebastian raised his hands in the air in defeat. "I swear, I didn't call for Skype sex." He burst out in his cheesiest vibrato, "I just called, to say, I love you…"

Blaine groaned. "God I'd rather put up with Liam than with you right now." He quickly opened the door and heard wolf whistles. He covered his ears and made a run for the DVD.

"That was quick! You got dressed again so soon, too!" Liam teased loudly.

"Do you need a cigarette?" Scott grinned.

In the bedroom Sebastian's voice continued to croon as Blaine blushed, stuck between a rock and hard place:

_I just called to say I love you_  
 _I just called to say how much I care, I dooooooooooooooooo, I do!_  
 _I just called to say I love you_  
 _And I mean it from the bottom of my heart_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hope you guys enjoyed this bit of Valentine's fluff! We get a bit more substantive next chapter before as we head towards spring break! Please do review and let me know what's working, what's not, what you miss that we did before (I have been re-reading old chapters and wonder if my current ones are as good as they were). Thanks so much for following and favoriting and just checking in to say, "Hi, I'm still reading and ]I still love Sebtana so keep it coming,' or 'more Robastian please' or 'Blaine needs to do X'!" Very curious about your ideas and opinions, who knows some of them could show up in the fic, we still have quite a few chapters to go!_


	22. Something's Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine goes to London and New York for auditions, Seb's quarter heats up as well as it nears conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hello Dear Readers,_   
> 
> 
> _Apologies for taking longer than usual to get this chapter out. It sets up the next chapter, which is tricky! Let us know what you think of it, and hope you enjoy it._   
> 
> 
> _Sincerely,_
> 
> _TiburonWriter_
> 
> _P.S. Gratitude as always for the ever-entertaining and always helpful IGMYT beta team, Dori, Rose, Thomas and the newest member, Cristina!_

Sebastian had gone to get drinks when Jay spotted a handsome medical student he had been introduced very briefly to at the LGBT Christmas party. After having his friendly smile returned, he started slowly across the room.

Suddenly Gary's lecherous grin was in his face. "Hey Jay, what are we gonna be drinking tonight?"

Jay took a step backwards but Gary only stepped closer. "WE are not going to be drinking anything together tonight," sighed Jay. Of course Gary would sabotage his effort to talk to Paul, the hot medical student, for the second party in a row. And of course Gary would get in his face while Sebastian was across the room getting drinks and probably having fun getting hit on by the hottest guys at the party. Of course. This was going to be his Valentine's fate for the rest of his life. "Gary, how many times do I have to tell you that WE aren't going to be doing anything?"

Gary's breath already stank of alcohol and the party had only been going half an hour. "Aw, JB you are such a tease," he said, chuckling and wrinkling up his nose.

Jay shrank back from him again, drawing in a deep breath, trying to formulate a more effective way to convey the same old message to him.

Suddenly a hand appeared on Gary's meaty shoulder, jerking him away from Jay.

"Have you no sense of personal space, son?" Sebastian growled. "And I think it's time that you get your theoretically big Stanford brains around the idea that 'no means no.'"

"Jay, is this your boyfriend now?" smirked Gary. "I think you could do better."

Sebastian leaned in closer and spoke with heat. "I'm not his boyfriend, I'm just someone who isn't afraid to haul a shithead stalker like you downtown to get a restraining order slapped on your chunky ass."

[](http://imgur.com/xR8bR0q)

Jay's eyebrows raised and his eyes widened.

[](http://imgur.com/eZFTVsw)

Gary hesitated and Sebastian knew he had him. "Why don't you let Jay make his own decisions, whoever you are."

Sebastian looked at him coolly. "Jay's made his decision. He's told you, from what I understand, at least four times what his decision is. I'm just here to hammer it home since Jay's too polite to tell you that you have no manners. So let me spell it out so you can get it through your thick head: (A) Jay's too good for you; (B) you aren't fooling anyone about your hairline with that haircut; and (C) you need to go along your disgusting way in what will surely be a futile attempt to find someone desperate enough to say yes and take pity on a sorry, repulsive excuse for a fuckwit like you."

Gary took a quick breath and said haughtily, "Jay, you should tell your friend to clean his mouth up." He turned and pushed his way through the crowd away from them.

Sebastian turned to Jay, handing him a glass of wine as he said casually, "They didn't have Sauvignon Blanc, so I got you a Chablis."

Jay's mouth was hanging open and he finally coughed out a surprised chuckle. "Seb…I can't believe you…" he choked out with a smile. "Damn, you ARE a badboy," he laughed.

"That was fun," Sebastian smirked, looking delighted to have had the opportunity. He had to admit that he kind of wished Hummel had been there to join in the fun.

* * *

To: Blaine Anderson  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: February 18, 2014_  
 _Subject: I'm done trying to be creative with subject lines_

_Hey B,_

_It's odd to write you an email first thing in the morning but I am sensing that life is about to get off the charts busy around here, so I wanted to get a real letter in to you before my schedule completely explodes. By some strange witchcraft my midterms for three out of my four classes are this coming week, then internship recruiting flares up like a mofo. In between all of this are more lacrosse games and regionals for Mixed Company. I'm ready to run for the hills and not look back._

_But hey if I survive, in four weeks and change we'll be shirtless and sipping mai-tai's in Florida together by the pool. Lovely image. Of course we know in reality I'll be drinking scotch and you will, for reasons that always baffle me, be wearing a shirt of some kind . But I do expect that you will have the good sense to wear those short, snug swim trunks I liked last summer. Unless they were worn out by the number of times I threw you in the lake. But if you buy new ones, I expect a replica make and model. You'd better not disappoint, Killer - don't let Sam talk you into buying any of those god-awful baggy things he wears._

_Until then we'll have to continue to keep each other up to date so that by spring break we will have nothing left to talk about and there will be little left to do except flirt shamelessly with each other. Yes, now that you have been flagrantly corrupted by me, I expect some reciprocal flirting, Anderson ._

_With that plan in mind, I'm looking forward to hearing more about your London weekend, since the texts you sent felt like just a tease._

_Over on this side of the pond, things were much less exciting. Friday after I hung up with you I went to an LGBT party with Jay to help him get rid of a creeper stalker grad student who couldn't seem to take no for an answer at the last several LGBT events. Taking the moron down a notch or two was really too easy, though still very enjoyable. If you can believe it, I found myself wishing Hummel was there to join the fun. He was always quick (if misguided), so I'm sure I would have enjoyed seeing what shots he would have taken from the hip at Jay's Not-So-Secret Admirer._

_As you probably surmised from the locations of my texts, on Saturday I took the girls around San Francisco for the tourist circuit. The best part about Dani coming to visit was seeing what she does to Tana. She literally cannot contain her smitten-kitten-ness. SO MUCH SOLID GOLD MATERIAL TO USE WHEN MESSING WITH HER LATER. Seriously awesome._

Thankfully, she somehow manages to still be herself. I was wondering if she would just be on her best behavior while in front of her sweetheart, but as soon as I put her in a headlock when she got off the plane, she was clawing at me with her scary nails and verbally abusing me as usual. To her credit, Dani seemed only amused by how San tries to boss me around and how much I beat on her.

_I have to admit that Dani is nothing short of kick-ass. She and I had some interesting talks about music and travel. By the time we had post-dinner drinks in the Castro I announced I had a new favorite lesbian. I of course got smacked for that, but it was worth it to see San's indignant little face. She goes from pretty to pretty pissed in a millisecond, it's a sight to behold._

_After drinks we went dancing. I'm guessing Santana already told some tales about it and posted a pic or two on Facebook or something, but remember you are to call me if you hear anything about me. I did nothing more than a little harmless flirting, I promise. And it really was all for you - I have to keep my flirting skills from getting rusty, after all. That way when I see you in Florida I won't waste any time warming them up for you._

_I was too beat to drive all the way back to Stanford so afterwards I crashed at their hotel on a rollaway in the living room of their suite. The next morning I checked in with San to see if she wanted me to just leave them be for the rest of the weekend and lend them my car, because I really didn't mind not being the third wheel. She was so excited (again, in a hilariously smitten-kitten way) by the idea. It was incredibly flattering, let me tell you, how thrilled she was to kick me out the door. I'm tempted to take her off my speed dial._

_I remembered that Jay was home in the city at his parents' house for the weekend so I convinced him to come pick me up. Okay I didn't convince him as much as I bribed him (said I would buy dinner with the guys at Stanford if he'd drive me down). So he came by (channeling you, he even brought me a clean shirt) and we had brunch with the girls before leaving them. Since you always complain that I never send you pictures, I'm including one from the restaurant: Tana said I looked like a white trash straight guy in the t-shirt and the cap I fortunately had in the car (I had some serious bedhead going on that morning, and not the good kind you got to see the last time I saw you), so Dani had us pose like tourists from Texas._

[](http://imgur.com/BzDe7cH)

_To my amusement, Santana pulled me aside during brunch and threatened to castrate me if I "cheat" on you with Jay. I told her that (1) I have no intentions with Jay, and (2) you and I are not dating yet so she was being ridiculous from a technical standpoint as well. She looked like she almost believed me_ _(she never believes me about anything, it's ridiculous that a friendship can be formed as ours has, on such incomplete trust)_ _. Then I found out later from Jay that while I was pointing out landmarks to Dani in the view out the suite window, San also pulled him aside and told him that if he seduced me, his genitals would also be in grave danger._

_If she had been in the car after we left them she would have realized that she has nothing to worry about. Instead of heading back right away we decided to head up to Marin County to go kayaking, and during the drive we talked about you the whole time. When we passed Tiburon I mentioned that you fell in love with it and the city. He asked about our visit and I rambled a good bit about it and all of your enthusiasms. He said it's just like the song – that you left your heart in San Francisco._

_Then we got to talking about your career. Jay thinks it is possible for you to have a career based out of LA if movies and TV continue to have musical elements, and that the more successful you become, the more possible it will be for you to live in San Francisco and just fly down for work (apparently a number of stars do it, e.g., Robin Williams). I told him that New York and London are really where the musical theatre roles are though, much to my chagrin. But hey, there are dot com, consulting and i-banking offices in New York and London._

_Then Jay asked more about your performance strengths and what roles you've played and want to play, which of course set me off to the races and I talked his ear off. He's a patient fellow.  
_

_The rest of the day we talked more about you and me and the Warblers. Oh and Jay also spent a good chunk of time talking about his ex. I had only heard about this joker the day before and now I know way more than I ever want to about him. Apparently this douche dated Jay for a year, spent a summer making plans with Jay for the two of them to defy the odds and make a long distance relationship work in college. Then he dumped Jay two days before he started at Stanford. Classy, eh?_

_Then The Douche came home over the weekend and Jay, like the romantic idiot that he is , agreed to see him on Saturday while I was out with San and Dani. Turns out the bastard came home to apologize, says he misses Jay, wants to be friends, yada yada yada. I warned Jay about the friends with benefits thing and he probably could tell that I otherwise think his ex is suspect, but he waved me off and rationalized everything. There was no talking him out of floating on Cloud Nine and he went on for longer than me once he got going about his ex: how great he is, what his boring life at UCSD is like; and all their great times in high school._

_I seriously hope this guy surpasses my low expectations and turns out not to be a dick stringing Jay along. At least Jay had the good sense not to sleep with the asshole this weekend. But they are seeing each other over spring break, so who knows if they'll be able to keep it in their pants then._

_I know you probably think I should cut this guy some slack. Because yes, I remember you gave me a second chance and all. But I just have a bad feeling in my gut about this. I mean for god's sake the guy's name is Hunter. Okay he goes by his middle name Derek, but still - Hunter Derek Gifford. That can't be a good sign. I think if you met Jay, you'd agree that he's a good egg and deserves better than what I'm hearing from him about this guy._

_Between all the yakking in the car, the kayaking was excellent. It's seriously surreal how beautiful it is in Point Reyes/Tomales Bay. I don't know why anyone lives in Ohio. What were our parents' thinking? I took a pic for you but got distracted and didn't get to text it to you, so here it is now. There's no instagram filter on the pic I'm including here, if you can believe it._

[](http://imgur.com/UmSSygz)

_I'll take you there when you come next. Afterwards we persuaded the guys who were around in Palo Alto - Roger, Thomas, Charlie - to come up to the city for the night. We went to dinner at a place overlooking the Pacific called the Cliff House, then after dinner we went up to see the killer view at the top of Twin Peaks and then Jay ditched us to spend more time with Derek The Douche._

_So I was stuck with the straight guys, though I had a reasonably good time playing wingman and fending off hot women at straight bars for the rest of the night. At least some of the dancing was good, though that only brought more women by the droves (you think I'm being cocky, but it was crowded at this club and I think there were bachelorette parties going on because, seriously there must have been eight or ten of them all over me over the course of the night)._

_Charlie and Thomas were so bitter about all the female attention I was getting - it was hilarious. I pushed some of the girls off to them, which made Thomas happy and calmed Charlie down a little. Roger had a good time flirting while trying to remember to stay true to Pauline (turns out he's smarter than I thought and chose Pauline after he saw through Katie's act). It's interesting how the happiness in a man who has found a significant other makes him ten times more attractive to women in a club. It's like the forbidden fruit pheromone or something. He seriously was getting way more attention than he ever did in his pre-Pauline's-boyfriend days._

_Moving on. Monday I holed up and tried to make the most of the rest of the holiday weekend. It was my last full weekend at home for awhile (remember my lacrosse away games start next weekend). In the morning was lacrosse practice and then I studied, put together my meager resume and researched / prepped for summer internship recruiting the rest of the day. The whole recruiting process is a clusterfuck of recruiting events, company research, and business club mentoring crud like resume reviews and mock interviewing. We'll see how much mileage I'll get out of being a powerpoint and excel monkey while interning at my dad's friend's company a couple of months every summer in high school._

_Monday night David came across the bay for a movie night at our place with me, Karen, Thomas, Pauline, Katie, Jessica, Roger and Charlie (having the biggest TV in the building attracts these people like flies). We ordered pizza and watched Frozen again because Karen drew the longest straw. There was hooting and hollering about her choice so she outed me as a closeted musical theatre geek and I called David out on it, too. I thought about how you'd be singing along the whole time if you had been there, like the second time we saw it in Ohio. And the third time._

_Afterwards David stayed the night (he slept in Rob's bed since he was home for the weekend). We caught up, stayed up til 3 talking... he says hello. He's got a new girl at Berkeley. I knew it would only be a matter of time for him - he's such a hopeless romantic sap. Between you, Jay, and David...I'm surrounded by romantic saps. At least Rob's a bit more sensible._

_Speaking of the romantic, I appreciated your texts about St. Paul's and Westminister Abbey. Only you would remember Charles and Diana got married at St. Paul's - you're such a romantic that you even appreciate their ill-fated match. I'll admit that I do remember St. Paul's was graceful. I preferred the Abbey. It was full of...not sure if this is the right word...reverence. They sound like good quiet spots to visit in the midst of busy student life/auditioning. I wish I could have had been there with you and soaked in a bit of that place. And you.  
_

_I have to go, I of course still have a mountain of studying, homework and more internship ridiculousness to do. Plus I forgot to tell you that I joined that case competition team to get exposure to those Google and Apple internship recruiting execs, so have to start doing my bits to prep for that. Thank god lacrosse season conditioning is over and the practices are down to once a day so our bodies theoretically still have something left in us for travel and games every Saturday. I swear Virk doesn't remember we are actually at Stanford primarily to graduate with an academic degree. After he drills the hell out of me in every practice I never feel like focusing in class or doing anything remotely productive._

_My caffeine addiction has never been so intense. I still don't know how the hell I'm going to do all this. If you pass an Edinburgh cathedral, say a prayer for me. I'm pretty sure MemChu (Stanford Memorial Church) is too crowded with other stupid student prayers already. Plus I'm sure your more devout prayers are worth more than my agnostic ones._

_Okay, I really should run. Miss you. Pretty much all the time .  
_

_Yours,_

_Seb_

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
From: Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 18, 2014  
Subject: RE: I'm done trying to be creative with subject lines 

_Hey cutie,_

_It's so nice to sit down and take a breath to write you. I know my texts probably seemed crazy all weekend, but I'm sure you deduced from them and all the pics I was sending you that our London trip was amazing! I wished you were there, we had so much fun. But it sounds like you and Dani and Santana had a great time, too._

_The first part of the trip was wonderful because I spent the long train ride getting to know Leela better and she completely cemented her role as my BFF in the program. I just love her to death - we talked about our families and high schools and significant others (she's dying to meet you) and we were joined at the hip the rest of the weekend and ever since we got back, too. She reminds me a lot of my friend Marley, the one who I did the "All or Nothing"duet with at Regionals last year? She has a lot of the same sweet, calm personality. She's a bit more confident, though. You would really like her, she's got a purity about her that you'd appreciate - yet she's not naive or stupid at all._

_I only wish we had more than a weekend to be in London - even though we left at an ungodly hour on Saturday morning we still didn't get there until noon and we had to go straight to auditions after lunch. So even though we took the latest possible train Sunday, it ended up feeling super quick._

_I didn't mind as much as some of the other Americans who have never been to London before, though. Of course you might remember that when I was there before I was like eight and I barely remember anything from that trip except Cooper and I getting sick on Wine Gums candy and Cooper throwing up from drinking too much ale. I thought my dad was going to actually murder him. But I do remember being entranced by Big Ben because I loved Peter Pan so much, and loving the red phone booths._

_Again, I'm so sorry for waking you when I texted you from auditions. I was just so nervous. It was just so odd for me - you know I have never really gotten nervous before performing, so when I realized I was, it became another layer of anxiety. I guess there's a difference between a high school glee club performance - even nationals - and auditioning for a real West End show._

_It feels kind of silly now that I reflect back on it. I should not have been so nervous, our school talent agents did present us and we were accepted to audition, so we had been vetted through one part of the process already. I was just thankful that my hands weren't shaking or anything, though my insides were jumpy. Anyway, thank you for texting me back right away - your reassuring words always help me. And once again "Something's Coming" proved to be a lucky charm of an audition song._

_You made me LOL with your reply to my text later about getting a callback. Liam and Leela and everyone else with me loved it, too. They called you not just the President of the Blaine Fan Club (which is what Sam sometimes calls you), but also the Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer, Sargeant-at-Arms, Butler, and Chimney Sweep . Sam and I think that when they meet you they will be surprised to see what a cool character you actually are when you aren't doing sweet things for me._

_After auditions we did a little sightseeing around Covent Garden – my favorite London neighborhood, of course. That's when we went to St. Paul's, we got there just before they closed it for tourists. The view from the top of the dome was breathtaking, totally worth the million steps we had to climb to get there. We stayed for the Choral Eveningsong, too - I wish you could have been there to hear it, too. Even wild Liam was chastened by the beautiful music. So I agree with you - graceful is the perfect word for that place._

_Afterwards we went to dinner at a cute Japanese chain restaurant called Wagamama that had delicious noodles and a fun atmosphere like a cafeteria, everyone sits on long benches and there's butcher paper on the tables. But it was affordable, delicious and had a young crowd, good energy and friendly service. You would have scoffed at the seating but loved the food._

_After Wagamama we went out to a pub and then to a club afterwards for dancing. I thought of you and wished you were there to dance with me , but I still had so much fun! My musical theatre classmates hang out in different factions normally – I've gone out with each one of them but never all of them at once. They all get along, it just has never really come to pass. But after this weekend we are bonded together as a unit and everyone was saying we need to make an effort to make sure we all do more together as a group going forward._

_In fact, since I've been such an organized group leader in our Singing for Musical Theatre class, everyone was nominating me to pull together our next class outing. I don't mind, it was nice that everyone felt they could rely on me to make it happen. I think it will be easy enough to just pick a venue and holler at the end of class and announce to email/text lists every Friday so we can all meet up there. I just hope the Edinburgh pubs, bars and clubs are ready for us!_

_Anyway, none of us drank too much Saturday night, so we could be lucid for callbacks and for sightseeing Sunday before and afterward. Callbacks felt somewhat less nerve-racking and the sightseeing was wonderful again. Westminster Abbey was so beautiful and like you said, absolutely reverential - I loved the Poet's Corner and I lit a candle for Finn . Edinburgh is a wonderful city and everything, but London is so much more impressive, it feels so internationally cosmopolitan and so full of energy and history. It's truly one of the world's great cities._

_The train ride home was more lively than the one on Friday, we were all in such good moods (everyone got a callback for something) that we sang all the way home (we had a train car to ourselves, thankfully for the other passengers). Liam, who has watched all my old Dalton and McKinley performance videos with Sam, told everyone about them and they made me sing "Silly Love Songs" and "Don't Stop Me Now." It was awesome - I wished Sam, Wes and the Warblers were there. And of course I always wish you are with me. Anyway, all and all, it was a great experience and I'm looking forward to the couple of other weekends we'll go down for more auditions and then our longer visit Spring quarter._

_Let's see, what else has happened? Oh while we were gone Sam and Mary got into a tiff – her ex-boyfriend came to town and went out with our crowd of friends to the pub and I guess her ex was being all flirty with her and she was not shutting him down and Sam got jealous and left early. He said that if Liam and I hadn't been in London auditioning maybe we might have helped him keep his cool. Anyway, he apologized and so did she, so all is well in their little world again._

_In other news, Tina is doing great in her first few weeks at UCLA, she told me that the student culture on campus is amazing and everyone is so friendly in the musical theatre program. She's getting along well with her roommate and her cousin who is up at Stanford has already come down to visit to make sure she's settled in well . And obviously she's already putting the full court press on me to come in the Fall. But I first have to get in - keep saying prayers for me!_

_She also said Cooper was great to put her up at his house before she got into her dorm. I really do have a great brother, even if he is annoying sometimes. I feel bad, I owe him a call but we can't seem to get our schedules to sync up, which as you know is always challenging with the time difference. And he's never been a big texting or email guy so it's all quite frustrating. Plus Tina says he's really busy right now with a number of auditions his agent has gotten for him and also rehearsals for a regional theatre production he's in._

_Oh, speaking of productions, the RC has decided on Grease for the spring musical! Since I was so out of it during McKinley's production, it's neat to have a chance for a "do-over." Auditions won't be until after spring break, but everyone's buzzing about it. I'm going to go for Danny Zuko this time. It would be so fun to do it - Coop and I have the movie version memorized (though he always made me play all the other parts besides Danny of course). I saw the theatre production several times as a kid, too._

_If only you could be in it, too. You actually would probably make a better Danny than I would - you have the swagger and you can turn sweet on a dime, too. My friend Maury is going out for Kenickie and Sam is actually messing around with the idea of going out for Kenickie, too. He's not sure he'll have time with all his portfolio work for his major, but he loves that role so much it seems crazy for him not to at least audition and see how it goes._ _  
_

_If I do get the part, spring will be all about the musical, I bet. Thank goodness my admissions stuff will be over by then. It's a miracle I was able to get my PCA, NYADA, NYU and UCLA auditions all on the same Saturday in New York. Next weekend will be insane travelling all that way for one day, but at least I will get it all over at once.  
_

_Next I want to get to your lovely long email (my favorite thing to do is to drink hot chocolate in bed and read your lengthy epistles.) Thank you for taking the time to write them, it makes me feel like you're settling down with me in the Lima Bean and telling me some of your yarns about Dalton)._

_I can't tell you how happy it made me to hear that you thought of Kurt and even wished he was with you! You both are important to me so it would make me happy if you two actually became friendly one day. I won't wish for "friends" - just cordial would be nice for a start, then maybe friendly?_

_I know, I can hear you - don't hold my breath :D. Also I hope that it doesn't take some poor common enemy for you and Kurt to be friendly. Though I can totally picture it - I would not want to get on either of your bad sides, let alone the two of you banded together in some sort of scary alliance . I'm shuddering at the thought! If we added Puck to the mix, you guys could be your own Western Ohio singing gang. Hah maybe I should write my own West End show._

_Anyway, Jay is lucky to have you on his side if that guy really is a troll. Jay is also just lucky. And so is Rob and Karen and David and even your funny friend Thomas. I'm still envious of them all because they get to spend so much time with you. But don't worry, I'm just envious, not resentful of any of them because they all sound so nice (yes, even Jay)._

_Oh, I can't believe Jay's ex-boyfriend's name is Hunter! That's really funny! But yes, I believe in second chances, so I hope you are being nice to Jay and keeping your opinions to yourself. Because I know what it's like to be Jay and have people talk trash about someone you're trying to give the benefit of the doubt to (yes I'm talking about you, Mr. Turning Over a New Leaf )._

_Oh and yeah Dani is so awesome! I guess I haven't talked about her much to you but I really liked her when I visited Rachel/Kurt/Santana in New York last school year. And I guess Santana is pretty adorable around her. I didn't notice it so much but you are closer to her and she is probably snarkier with you than almost anyone, so the contrast is probably the most marked with you._

_Oh and speaking of your visitors, I did see the pics and posts Santana put on Facebook from your wild night in the Castro. You, Mister, are pushing the "harmless flirting" business a bit. But I will refrain from commenting any more though, since I am not your boyfriend :)_

_It does sound like things are getting really busy for you with internship stuff and everything. I'm sure you will get something fantastic, and I bet all this stuff you are doing is going to be great training for when you have to get an actual job down the road when you're about to graduate. Isn't it wild to think about that? It feels so far away, but at the same time I feel like high school went pretty fast, so I bet college will feel like that, too._

_I'm glad that you hosted that movie night, though I wish you wouldn't assume that all those people come for your big TV. They like YOU. You're fun, smart, entertaining, hilarious and I'm sure they are figuring out that you are a sweetheart under all that snark. I bet Rob is telling them : )_

_I'm bummed I missed a David slumber party. When I was freshman at Dalton we used to have them all the time in his room and in Wes and my room. Well, we'll be having slumber parties of sorts in Orlando soon enough_ ; )

_I have to run – Sam, Liam and Scott are dragging me out to gym. Send me all your news when you can. Miss you too, sweetie - so much._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

_P.S. Which shirt should I wear for auditions next weekend? I'm thinking a polo - green, maroon, blue, or black. With my tan pants._

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
From: Sebastian Smythe  
Date: February 19, 2014  
Subject: RE: I'm done trying to be creative with subject lines 

_B-_

_Thanks for the charming novella of a letter, I just wish I could reply as such but I only have a bit of time before I have to get to Mixed Company rehearsal and whip those guys in shape. I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know...they have more natural dance talent, but they aren't as tough as the Warblers as we approach competition. It is their great fortune that Karen has taken to keeping near me the whole time to give me looks that remind me to filter before I react to some of the idiocy that happens at every session. It's like Nick all over again._

_Unfortunately this reply may have to serve as my usual Thursday email because tomorrow is going to be nuts for me._

_I'm envious you went to Wagamama, I remember that chain from when I lived in Paris and used to take the Eurostar train up to London sometimes._ _I'd kill for their beef curry noodles right now. All of your time in London sounds like it was excellent, even if it was quick. It's also good to hear your classmates are continuing to ratchet up their level of fangirling over you . I wish I had been on that train home to see you sing Queen and yet another Katy Perry showstopper. I bet I would have had folks lining up to bump me out of those officer roles in the Blaine Anderson fan club._

_Tell Sam that what happened with Mary sucks. I'm sure he thought he couldn't say much because he would have looked like an asshole. But there's only so much a man can stand. It's too bad the timing was off so that you and Liam couldn't be there to have his back. Tell Sammy I wish I had been there to kick that ex-boyfriend's ass. Where the hell was that Scott guy?_

_I didn't realize Tina had a cousin at Stanford – maybe there's hope for me and Ms. C- C after all. Down in LA there is Nick and Coop and up here we could have another buffer between us besides quiet David. This is assuming the cousin is less icy than Tina and /or doesn't actually add to the awkwardness._

_Okay, Okay, I can hear you in advance, across 5000 miles. I know you don't think she is as icy to me as I say. And don't worry your curly head, I still promise to be on my best new leaf behavior during my next attempt at defrosting your hag. Sorry, befriending your hag. Send me her email and I'll reach out to her in a couple of weeks when we're down playing UCLA and we'll see how things go._

_I don't know how much good any prayer of mine will do for your UCLA admissions. I think God still has me on the "probably will stick in purgatory" list right now. I don't think it matters anyway, because prayers for your admissions to school are completely unnecessary. Seriously. You're going to be fine._

_I don't have too much to update you on here. Physics midterm tomorrow is going to be a beast- not sure how the hell I'm going to do on it. Econ is a nightmare in terms of sheer volume, the paper I finished this morning for writing class was just annoying, and the paper for the Rules of War makes my head hurt every time I come back to work on it - it's due Friday and I'm about ¾ of the way through it, but the conclusion is the worst part._

_I've finally settled on a dozen companies to interview for and my schedule is nuts with recruiting events for them. I've done preliminary research and have put together a grid of bullet points about my life experiences to tell in interviews - it looks quite barebones to me. The feedback I'm getting is that I'm not bad in terms of my interviewing style. I suppose it's from years of having to behave for my grandmothers, the theatre training, and years of experience bullshitting my parents and teachers. The "case" questions where you have to solve a problem on the spot for consulting interviews - aren't bad. But pulling together content and stories of substance for the 'fit' interviews are what will be challenging. And the case competition stuff is interesting but the volume is intense. The team I joined is not a bad bunch, couple of sophomores and two juniors plus me._

_Okay, just writing about all this crap I'm doing is stressful. I'll try to text you more later between things. I really have to get cracking._

_I am looking forward to slumber parties in Florida, indeed. I don't think there has to be much slumber involved though..._

_Seriously, it will be excellent to interact with a three dimensional version of you, Killer. There actually will be much to still talk about I'm sure, as these emails and Skype calls never feel adequate._ _We can even have a "state of the union" if you want. Go ahead, pick yourself up off the floor, you actually did read Sebastian Smythe sanctioning a relationship talk as a possible activity on vacation. Or maybe I should take it back. Because a "Talk" would just take time away from any inappropriateness I can talk you into._

_None of this can come soon enough. I don't even mind the Harry Potter ridiculousness anymore, I just want spring break to get here. Until then, I remain unthinkingly_

_Yours,_

_Seb_

_P.S. Any of those polos would be fine - just whatever you like the best and feel most comfortable in. They'll remember you for way more than your clothes. For the record though - excellent choice in your tan pants - your whole package looks particularly great in those._

_P.P.S. Your Danny Zuko is going to be flawless. Psyched about that for you. You're high if you think I'd be a better Danny than you. I would only hope to be your understudy (where I know you'd throw me a bone and pretend to be sick so I could play one matinee); or better yet Keneckie, because you know what they said about Travolta and Jeff Conaway backstage..._

* * *

"Sam?!" Blaine whispered loudly through the bedroom door. "Sam?!" He tapped gently and his whisper was more urgent. "SAM?!" he opened the door a crack. "SAM!" he hissed into the room.

"Uh? Huh?" Sam grunted.

Blaine opened the door, biting his lip as he peered in, eyes wide. "Oh good, you're awake."

"Not really," Sam snorted, propping himself up on one elbow and rubbing his eyes.

Blaine plopped himself at the foot of Sam's bed. "I'm so sorry! I fell asleep myself waiting for you to get home. But I really wanted to talk to you before you went to bed."

"Oh, _that's_ why your door was open and your light was on...what's up?"

Blaine spoke quickly, looking worried. "Sebastian wrote me something kind of cryptic in an email to me today. He said we can maybe have a talk about our relationship while we're in Florida, _if I want._ But I'm thinking he wouldn't bring it up unless he was the one who wanted to talk, right? He can be so vague. Of course he knows that he's not good at these talks, so that must be why he's suggesting we talk in person. Though our talk at the lake at New Year's wasn't so bad once we got going...he's not as bad as he thinks he is. And we talked about relationship stuff after the whole Instagram thing and that went okay, though it wasn't really the same kind of thing. And I'm not the greatest at this stuff, either. I wasn't perfect at it when we were at the lake by any means. I definitely said some stupid things…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Sam held up a hand, eyelids still drooping. "I think I gotta get up for this or I'm gonna get lost and then maybe fall back asleep on you, which I don't wanna do." He got out of bed and groped around the room for a bathrobe until Blaine found it for him on a chair.

Blaine's eyes shone with gratitude. "Thank you so much, Sam, I know you need your rest it's just I've been stewing on this since eight o'clock and then after I fell asleep waiting for you I started to dream about it - I dreamt Sebastian was the crab from the Little Mermaid and he was floating off at sea in the distance…"

Sam was leading them out to the kitchen where he sat down at the table and pulled a banana out of the fruit basket. "Blaine, you know I can never figure out your dreams...though that one is pretty obvious. But let's get back to the email. What did he say exactly in the email?"

Blaine pulled his IPad off the table and read from it. "He said, ' _We can even have a "state of the union" if you want. Go ahead, pick yourself up off the floor, you actually did read Sebastian Smythe sanction a relationship talk as a possible activity on vacation. Or maybe I should take it back. Because a "Talk" would just take time away from any inappropriateness I can talk you into_.'" Blaine shook his head. "He is so confusing. I mean, what the heck is a 'state of the union'? Like, why didn't he say, 'Let's talk about how we feel things are going and where we want to go?'"

"Because that sounds nothing like anything Sebastian would ever say," Sam said dryly, gulping down the banana in a few bites.

Blaine sighed and huffed out a little laugh. "Okay fine, then why didn't he say... 'Let's talk about if we're ready to be boyfriends'?"

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Because that still doesn't really sound like him."

Blaine looked thoughtful and smiled. "Okay maybe you're right. I guess him calling it 'the state of the union' is not that weird - he is a political junkie, after all. But it's still vague. And what about the backpedaling? If he was really backpedaling, he would have just deleted the suggestion, right? That's the beauty of writing email, you can actually go back before you send it and take back things you say and the other person will never know."

Sam got up and opened their small refrigerator. "Right. He was just joking around about taking back what he said. That part sounds like Seb kidding around."

Blaine nodded and looked more bright eyed as he continued, "He was probably joking because he was uncomfortable bringing the whole thing up."

"That DEFINITELY sounds like Seb," Sam said as he poured himself some milk.

They laughed together and Blaine felt pressure ease off of his anxious heart.

Blaine turned sideways in his chair and hugged his knees to his chest. "But what do you think he wants to talk about? I mean the fact that he is suggesting this talk means he has something to say. Why doesn't he just say it on one of our calls or in an email?"

"He's probably afraid he'll screw it up over email. I mean look at how lame he was at just suggesting the talk." Sam grinned suddenly and waggled his eyebrows. "And maybe he wants to do it in person because he wants to kiss you afterwards. Maybe he wants to finally ask you to be his man!"

Blaine looked tenuously happy. "Maybe…" He exhaled and looked worried again. "Though I have these moments still where I wonder about him and that Jay guy. He said in his last couple emails that he totally hates Jay's ex and doesn't want Jay and his ex to get back together. AND he said he defended Jay from some other creepy guy at a party. Oh, and then he called Jay to pick him up when he lent Santana his car in San Francisco and he and Jay ended up going kayaking together and Jay posted all these cute pictures of them on Instagram…"

"You follow Jay's instagram?" Sam quirked an eyebrow.

Blaine looked sheepish. "I don't follow him, I only looked at it a couple of times to see if there are any pictures of Seb…"

"So you're cyber stalking him because you don't trust Seb?" Sam narrowed his eyes.

"That's not cyber stalking! And I DO trust Seb...it's just...Seb never posts anything anywhere, and he never takes pictures of anything but scenery and maybe his feet and he never remembers to email even those to me half the time...how else do I get to see pictures of him?!" Blaine said defensively.

"YOU ASK SEB FOR THEM," Sam said definitively. "You're getting all Instagram crazy again, you gotta cut that out."

Blaine didn't answer, pouting and sticking out his lower lip in defeat.

Sam sipped his milk and continued. "I don't think any of that stuff necessarily means that Seb is into this Jay guy. It just sounds like they are friends. And Seb's judgmental and kind of protective of his friends. He told me over Christmas that he totally grilled Santana about Dani when she first started dating her, and Jeff told me on the sleighride that Seb was totally warning him off about hooking up with his flaky ex-girlfriend."

Blaine twisted his mouth and nodded slightly in acknowledgment. "That's true. And he did say he talked about me with Jay on the drive up to kayaking and back."

"SEE?!" Sam said, raising his eyebrows. "I like how you skipped past that the first time you mentioned the kayaking. He loves you man, even if he's not ready to say it yet. He probably just doesn't want to freak you out. But it's so obvious. I mean he sent you that keyboard for Valentine's Day!"

"It wasn't for Valentine's Day."

"Okay I'm not arguing about that with you again. Whatever occasion it was for, he sent you that keyboard! He's so into you, Blaine. He still calls you every week on Skype, and sends you those long emails."

Blaine frowned. "His last email wasn't that long…." He wrinkled his nose in thought. "But he's in the middle of midterms," he admitted.

"Exactly. And don't forget with he did for your birthday. You know the first time we rehearsed and I sang your line about 'Heeeeeere's, where she meets Sebastian, but he won't discover that it's him, 'til Chapter Three'? I swear he blushed. I don't think he thought anyone was watching him but I saw him, he got a little pink and his hands automatically went up to face and then he pretended he was stretching his neck and he turned his face away from the webcam."

Blaine smiled delightedly. "Well, I guess I shouldn't jump to any conclusions about what he might want to talk about. I should just be happy that he's open to talking about things."

[](http://imgur.com/oBk4OGK)

"Exactly." Sam looked at him keenly. "And what are you going to say if he asks you if you want to be boyfriends?"

Blaine blushed and whispered, "Yes. I'd tell him yes."

Sam got up and squeezed him by the shoulders. "Awww…it's about time." He ruffled Blaine's hair. "Okay, I'm going back to bed if your freak out is over."

Blaine got up and followed him towards the bedrooms. "Thanks so much, Sam. Sorry for waking you up." He gave him a little hug before they parted ways.

"Any time, Blainers."

Blaine rubbed his thumb to his fingers. "Sam?" he called from his doorway.

"Yeah?"

"There's a little banana on your pocket."

"Nah, I'm just happy to go to bed."

Blaine chuckled and closed his door.

* * *

Rob pulled a carton of milk out of the small refrigerator in the living room and poured some into a bowl of Rice Krispies. It was midnight and Rice Krispies after engineering homework had become a ritual.

Sebastian's door opened quickly and he stood in the doorway, hair somewhat askew, arms reaching out so he gripped either side of the door frame. Rob put his spoon down calmly and looked at him expectantly. Sebastian stared into the room with a serious look on his face, but didn't look at Rob directly.

"I think we're ready."

Rob narrowed his eyes for a moment in thought, then he raised his eyebrows. "You and Blaine?"

"Yeah."

"Cool."

"Okay." Sebastian paused, then turned around and ducked back out as quickly as he had emerged.

Rob returned to his Rice Krispies with a small smile on his face.

* * *

_BLAINE: Hey, bet you're in class right now but I just wanted to share the depressing news that I didn't get even a chorus part in any of the three West End shows I auditioned for. But I didn't really want it anyway, so it's okay. Just a stupid ego thing. I just feel a little foolish after walking away from callbacks kind of cocky. But I'll be fine. I have to handle rejection in this business, this is not a big deal. So no need to reply to this, I know you're busy. I was going to just email you about it tomorrow after your crazy Thursday was over, but now I'm still stewing about it and I can't sleep, so I thought if I vented at least just a little before bed maybe I'll sleep better. So there, I got it off my chest and I do feel a little better. Again, it's not a big deal, you don't have to reply, I just wanted to tell you. Hope you're having a good day. Miss you._

* * *

An hour later Blaine was about to fall asleep when his phone rang with a Skype voice call from Sebastian. "Seb…" he said, sounding sleepy but pleased.

"Oh crap, I woke you up - I thought you usually stayed up a little later Thursday nights and was worried you couldn't sleep," Sebastian said with frustration, running a hand through his hair as he strode across campus. "I'm sorry, I just got your text. I turned my phone all the way off in Gomez's class to be safe. How are you doing? Those producers are idiots."

"I'm fine, you didn't have to call." Blaine rubbed his eyes. "It was disappointing, but I'm sure over the course of my career there will be many parts I don't get. These are just the first ones. And it's not like I am 100% thrilled with the idea of quitting school to be in the chorus of a West End production."

"I know you didn't really want to do that, but you're so obviously worthy of at least a chorus part. You do understand that those producers are complete morons, right? I mean I have no idea what they must be thinking…" Sebastian scratched his head, looking genuinely confused. "Wait a minute...what shows were they again?"

"How to Succeed, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Les Mis."

"Well that explains it. Unfortunately you were probably too short to be in the line-up of office guys for How to Succeed, and you were too handsome for Charlie and Les Mis. And hell, they may not have thought you looked French enough for Les Mis - Europeans are particular about national facial features sometimes. Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman would never have been cast in a French remake."

Blaine eyes were troubled. "Really? And come on, too handsome? I get the height thing, but..."

"They have to take all this stuff into account. Remember when I told you last quarter that I auditioned for a San Francisco production for a lark, and they told me I was too handsome for the part?"

"Oh that's right," Blaine chuckled. "Such a nice problem to have."

"Well you may find yourself in the same spot for awhile, stuck between not being experienced enough for the real roles and being too handsome for the chorus. Your beautiful eyes pop even from the back of a stage and that can be really distracting to the audience. And that's not even mentioning that perfect ass of yours. You're way more gorgeous than most of the leading men out there, especially in the West End full of ugly Brits."

Blaine laughed. "You can always make me laugh," he said fondly. "Still, I've seen plenty of handsome guys in the chorus over the years…"

"Oh shit," Sebastian interrupted. "I'm sorry B - can you hold on? I forgot I told this guy I would meet with him before class about the case competition team. He's calling right now, just hold on and I'll reschedule with him..."

Blaine was still blue, but he knew it was because he was tired, too. "It's okay Seb - I have to get to sleep anyway. I'll email you tomorrow and we can talk more Saturday."

"Are you sure you're okay? 'Cause I really can tell Stewart that we just have to meet later."

"No really, it's okay. Thanks for calling, Seb."

"I'm just sorry I didn't see your text earlier. I won't turn my phone off any more in class. Missing some of Gomez' class from time to time won't kill me."

"She would give you so much crap if you left early - you said she's got eyes like a hawk and she knows who you are and assigned you a seat in the front."

"Whatever."

Blaine smiled and shook his head. "That's sweet of you to consider doing, but you really shouldn't. Now go do your case thingy. Thanks again for calling - you're the best." _I love you,_ he wanted to say .

"Okay. Just remember you're brilliant and those idiots in London just didn't have the right spot for you. If I were them I would have just created a role for you."

Blaine heart warmed. "You're crazy. Go to your meeting."

"Okay. But keep your chin up, Killer."

"Okay. Thanks again, baby." Blaine murmured sweetly. "Bye."

"Good night, B. Sweet dreams. Bye ." Sebastian took a deep breath and opened up a text from Stewart as he walked into the economics building. And of course Stewart was running late. Sebastian wanted to call Blaine back, but didn't want to wake him again. He sighed and scrolled through the six new emails he got from various classmates as he went for another coffee instead.

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
From: Blaine Anderson  
Date: February 21, 2014  
Subject: _Feedback and other news_

_Hi there,_

_Okay, our email timing is really all whacked out this week. Sorry I didn't write yesterday, but I knew if I waxed on in a letter with the audition news, I might freak you out on your busy Thursday. Now I have a little time to write before I have to get to my flight to New York. Hopefully your Friday is going better - how did your case competition meeting go? I hope you won't hesitate to email my dad if he can help. He doesn't make those kinds of offers often, but when he does, he means it. In fact if you didn't contact him before you see him again (this summer, I hope?) he might even be a little disappointed! He's funny that way. Such a delicate ego._

_Maybe that's where I get it from. :) That was highlighted to me when Mr. Billson gave me the specific feedback from my London auditions. It was totally merited, he is a total professional about it, but he isn't always the most cuddly guy when it comes to feedback. I guess Mr. Schue spoiled me with his gentle manner. Mr. Billson is hilarious and awesome but he is pretty cut and dry when it came to feedback. And there is no refuting it, he got the notes straight from the producers I auditioned for. But it still stung._

_So here's the feedback:_

_(1) I was nervous (my hands weren't shaking, but I guess it showed otherwise). Not just the first audition but the second one as well. That surprised me. I felt way more comfortable but I guess I still had "too much energy."_

_(2) You were right on the height thing for H2$. Nothing I can do about that, I guess. I hope someday I can play Finch, Daniel Radcliffe is shorter than me, after all._

_(3) They would have liked to have seen stronger vibrato. SIGH._

_Oh, and you'll notice I wasn't too handsome for anything :) Only you have that dubious honor._ _All of this all makes me worried about this weekend. From a logistical standpoint, getting my four auditions lined up for one day makes sense. From a performance standpoint though, maybe it's not a good idea? And what if I'm as nervous for them as I was on the West End? I can't afford to screw this up. But I got into NYADA last year so I have to just keep remembering that I can do it again._

_First there is the audition part to worry about, which is a little different for each of them but I am prepared as I'll ever be. Then there are the interviews, some at the same time Saturday and some on the phone later. I hope I've done enough research on the schools so they know I'm genuinely interested in all of them. My answers were fine for NYADA last year, but I hope PCA, UCLA and Tisch like them, too._

_ANYWAY. What else is there to report around here? It's been really quiet around here for me because Sam and all our art major friends are crazy working on some portfolio deadline that I guess they have all been procrastinating about for months. I don't know how people live like that. It would make me crazy not to be on top of my deadlines. That doesn't make me sound very bohemian, hope that doesn't mean I'm not cut out to be an artist. :)_

_So I kind of miss Sam these days, he's stressed out and up to his elbows in paints and clay and stuff. I miss Mary and Liam and Scott, too - they are really like my little family here. But at least it's forcing me to spend more time and get to know Maury and Leela better. Oh I don't think I've told you that Leela actually did get a chorus part and an understudy part in Les Mis and she's quitting school to do it! I'm going to miss her, big time._ _I'm excited for her, though. I hope I'll do as well next time around (not that I would necessarily accept anything but it would be good to feel more successful.)  
_

_Well at least I'll still have Maury after Leela's gone. And I'm starting to get to know this guy in my musical theatre program named Oliver . We met yesterday in the music library, we were both checking out copies of the "Grease" libretto. He's trying out for Keneckie and Teen Angel. He's not in my Singing for Musical Theatre class, there are two classes and he's in the other one. We got coffee and he seems like a nice guy - we have a lot in common. He's actually really impressive, he takes private singing lessons from Mr. Billson's friend, one of the top vocal coaches in Britain. There's a waiting list of people who want to take lessons with her._

_It got me thinking I should take private lessons, too. I just hate to ask my parents for more - they're already paying for tuition and all the expense of being here, and then the cost of the cancelled wedding - ugh. And no, you aren't going to pay for my lessons, Seb. Don't even try to offer. I'll make things work. In fact, Oliver offered to send me notes weekly after his singing lessons to pass on what he's learning. Isn't that nice of him?_

_Well your last email doesn't give me much to respond to, except to say that it certainly sounds like everything is nuts for you. I know it's painful but it sounds like the worst of it's through and I'm sure you did well. You really seemed to enjoy your professors more this quarter and I know that motivates you to work harder - that was definitely the case at Dalton, I remember._

_As for recruiting, I can't believe you're going after a dozen companies - your ambition and confidence always impresses me. I'm sure you will be a great interviewee. You can be so personally charismatic when you choose to be, and are so impressive when you talk about business. Like when you were talking to my dad - he's a Fortune 500 CEO and he was impressed with you! So whoever they send to interview you will be putty in your hands._

_I'm happy to hear that the case competition material is interesting to you, because I know that is also very motivating for you. I know you're going to do well and impress those Silicon Valley recruiters. I wish I could be there on the day to watch you present your part._

_Well, I guess that's it for now._ _Oh wait, I did want to say that I was not at all surprised by your openness to a "State of the Union" in Orlando. What surprised me was you being the first one to bring it up - almost suggesting it! Is Santana making you do this? If she is behind this, you have to believe that I did not put her up to it. Anyway, it probably does make sense to do a check-in and reflect on where where we're at. That is, if you have any brain cells left after all your case competitions and interviews and finals. We'll play it by ear._

_Regardless of what we talk about in Florida, I am counting down the days until I see you, I miss you so much. Send more of your sunny California news when you can._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: February 21, 2014_  
 _Subject: RE: Feedback and other news_

_B,_

_I think you're on a plane right now - I'm sorry I haven't had two minutes to call you this afternoon between all my midterms and my stupid meetings that couldn't be rescheduled and the extra rehearsal for Mixed Company._

_Let's talk about all this. When can you talk? I have a gap between classes and meetings from 3:00-3:30, I can't remember if you will have landed already. Then I have to get to the airport for our flight to Oregon for the lacrosse game. By the time I land it will be pretty late New York time and for your body it will be like 3 in the morning – have I mentioned lately how much the time difference blows? I hope our flight times work out and we can talk while we are at airports at least. I'd really rather talk to you than try to do this by email ._

_You are more than that feedback. You are so much more._

_Let me know about the call. If we can't make it work I'll write more over email but my brain is fried right now I don't think I'll be able to do you justice - this week has felt like a friggin tornado._

_I really fucking wish we lived in the same city._

_Yours,_

_S_

* * *

_BLAINE: Seb, don't sweat a call tonight, I'm beat from the flight and you sound like your hair is on fire. Let's just try to talk tomorrow after your game, like 3 your time before I have dinner with Santana?  
_

_SEB: Sounds good. Call me if you need me before then. Sorry I didn't email, I was really hoping to connect by phone. Then my case competition meeting went way too long and I was up until 3 studying. I really want to talk to you about that feedback. Don't let it screw with your head going into those school auditions. You are Blaine Freaking Anderson, don't ever forget that, no matter what the numskulls say. Go clean up at those auditions. I bet those schools won't know what hit 'em. Call me afterwards, I should be in the locker room in the post-game hubbub, if not on the way back to the hotel then. And then yeah we can Skype at 3PT._

_BLAINE: Okay. Thanks, Seb. You always know how to make me feel better. Wish you were here_

_SEB: Anytime. You are going to be awesome. Ciao._

_BLAINE: Bye._

* * *

With fifteen minutes before game time, Sebastian had just shut his locker when he heard buzzing and ringing from inside of it. He rarely got calls except from Blaine in the middle of the day. He looked at the watch from Blaine and realized that he should be in the middle of auditions in New York. He pulled off his uniform gloves and quickly dialed his combination, glancing up as he pulled the lock open to see if Coach Virk had arrived in the locker room yet. He grabbed his phone off the locker shelf and silenced it, shoving his helmet under his arm and clutching his gloves, stick and the phone as he moved swiftly past his noisy teammates to duck into a shower stall.

"Blaine, are you okay? You're in auditions right now, right?"

Blaine sounded tense and tremulous. "Seb, I'm sorry to call - you're about to go into your game, right?"

"Yes, but it's fine. Are you okay? Did you just finish an audition or are you starting one?"

Blaine took a deep breath. "Both. I'm about to go into UCLA, but I just came from PCA. I'm kind of freaking out."

"Why?"

"I tanked PCA, Seb. I totally choked on my first audition. I'm so screwed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _There you have it! Nearly all correspondence, hope it was interesting enough to read...it's a lot of set up for things to come. But hopefully it was fairly entertaining in it's own right. Review, please! We want your feedback to guide and motivate!_


	23. The Wood is Tired, and The Wood is Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine gets a peptalk; the shift in the love letter dynamic continues; checking in with Coop; Blaine finds solace in music once again; a London bridge is falling down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All!
> 
> Welcome back to what may feel like (for those who are more on the impatient side), the never-ending Seblaine story. In my defense, this is what real life is like sometimes, and this is what I genuinely think could happen for this pair. They are young, they are growing up and changing, and they are learning a lot about themselves and each other in all kinds of circumstances. It's true what they say that love isn't all rosepetals and romance (though I promise there will be some of that ahead). Thanks for hanging in there, I'm trying to make the ride enjoyable along the way! Please review and let me know if I'm succeeding.
> 
> Thanks as always to the awesome beta team of Dori, Rose, Thomas, Cristina and Tereza!
> 
> xoxo,  
> TiburonWriter

Blaine clutched the phone, trying to keep it together as he paced the empty hallway he was in.

Sebastian's quiet, calm voice was steadying. "Hey, it's okay. What happened?"

Blaine's speech was pressured and anxious. "It started off fine, though all I could think about was London. But I held it together and stayed calm and was doing okay until they asked me to go back and sing a couple of bars from 'Something's Coming' slower hiand with more vibrato. I told them about my vocal chord defect and that I would only be able to do so much. They asked me to do it anyway and so I tried, but I tried too hard and I couldn't. It came out TERRIBLE. I wanted to sink and hide under the floorboards." Blaine's eyes welled up and he wiped the tears away furiously. "Seb, it was so horrible. They told me on the spot that they won't be needing me back for an interview. It's over with them."

Sebastian's heart twisted and he felt anger surge through him. "Shit, I can't believe they are telling applicants 'no' on the spot. Most of them are high schoolers! I thought _I_ was an asshole…"

Blaine rattled on, "I know, I just can't believe it, they said..."

Sebastian shook himself and interrupted. "Killer, we can't talk about PCA right now, we don't have time. We'll do that later. Just realize that it's okay. That was not your fault. And it's over and you _have_ to focus on UCLA right now."

Blaine nodded vigorously and started to pace the empty hallway he was in. "You're right, I have to just focus and just look at my notes and just remember everything Mr. Billson said and just remember all the things about UCLA Tina said and just hope they don't ask for vibrato and try to fake it better if they do…"

"Blaine, STOP." Sebastian interrupted again, trying to speak calmly. "You have got to slow down and breathe. Take a big breath. I want to feel it blow on my hair through the phone."

Blaine nodded with a shaky half smile and took a breath that sounded big enough to empty out the room.

Sebastian soothed, "There you go. Okay, keep breathing and listen for a minute. I need to remind you of a few things."

"Okay," Blaine nodded.

[](http://imgur.com/XdPgCpo)

"When you were fourteen, those goons at your old school beat the shit out of you at that dance. They beat you down because they couldn't accept who you are, they beat on you like they do in too many other places, they beat on us because we were born gay. Now what did you do after they kicked the shit out of you?"

"I transferred schools. I ran. I was a coward." Blaine looked frustrated and tears came to his eyes at the memory. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Killer, you weren't a coward. You took care of yourself. You and your parents got you the fuck out of there because there were idiots there who weren't being properly schooled by the administration of that hellhole."

Blaine interjected, looking pained, "We could have made them do something. I could have come back to school and shown them that I wouldn't let them stop me."

"Okay I'm not going to stop to argue about this with you. What matters even more is what you did next. You didn't hide under some rock, scared of when the next bully would come by. And even more importantly you didn't leap back into the closet at your next school. You got up off the mat, and you didn't just survive, you made yourself a LEGEND at Dalton, and then at McKinley. Everyone was fighting for the chance to hug you and lick your boots when you left both of those places, and they're doing the same thing now at the RC."

Blaine swallowed and wiped his eyes, standing a little straighter.

Sebastian didn't wait for a response as he built momentum. "You can't let those London producers and those stuck-up-their asses PCA people take you down. You don't want to be in London or po-dunk Pennsylvania anyway, do you? Those were for practice, PCA was a back-up school. Those were warm-ups, that's all they were. Yeah, they didn't end well because they were dismissive simpletons hung up on putting an 'X' in some vibrato checkbox. But those experiences only have built some more muscle for RIGHT NOW."

Blaine took another huge breath in and nodded, then stretched his neck in a circle.

"Get up off the mat again. I know you can deliver now when it really counts. You've done it before and you'll do it again. I know you want these New York schools and UCLA _more_. Get up off the mat just like you did after that dance, just like you did after Finn picked on you one time too many at McKinley and just like you did after things imploded with Kurt. Get up and blow them away. Blow their black turtlenecks off at these auditions."

Blaine let out a nervous laugh and nodded again. "Okay, okay." He jumped up and down a bit to shake himself up.

"I'm not done. You are the not the first person they will admit without a full-range vibrato, nor will you be the last. You will be admitted because you more than compensate for that inconsequential vocal chord issue. You have more musicality and better phrasing and more versatility than 90 plus percent of their applicants. You have this grounded, athletic grace to your dance moves that I'm frankly jealous of, it makes your dancing accessible in a way that would impress Gene Kelly. "And most importantly, besides your talents and your looks (which I don't have time to go on about), you bring…" Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair searching for the words, "an emotional honesty and…" he paused again, biting his lip, "…a spirit, a verve in you that transcends even your impressive technical skills."

He continued, now lost in thought. "When you perform you lift people up with you and take them for a singular ride they've never experienced before. You are empathetic to a fault in real life but I love it anyway and it makes you amazing on stage. You draw an audience into your performance and they end up feeling it with you, and you bring so much soul to it that people literally can't stop watching you. You're like a friggin' beacon."

Sebastian leaned back against the shower stall and stared at the showerhead like it was Blaine.

"And I'm not just saying that because…" _Because I love you,_ he thought, "…because I'm me. I look around the room every single time you perform and I'm always not at all surprised that I'm not the only one fucking _riveted_ by you on stage. Every single time, the whole place is entranced. You have everything these _better_ schools are looking for in you, and more. They are going to be fighting over you with scholarships. Remember NYADA offered you one last year so you wouldn't go anywhere else. Nee-holier-than-thou' YADA. Do not let the idiots take you down. Get up, get up now, do you hear me?"

Sebastian's urgent words echoed a familiar lyric in Blaine's head:

_Get up now, get up, get up now…_

_And I know it's hard when you're falling down_

_And it's a long way up when you hit the ground_

_Get up now, get up, get up now._

… _I'm on top of the world._

"Blaine, are you still there?"

Blaine exhaled and smiled softly. He spoke with warm conviction as he stretched his neck out again. "Yes, I'm here. And I think you should rethink law school. I feel like you just gave a closing argument that could get someone off of death row."

"I'm glad you sound properly juiced again, but if you ever suggest that I join my father's occupation again, I am taking your favorite puppets hostage," Sebastian said darkly.

"Duly noted," chuckled Blaine. He took another deep breath. "You're right. I've let this vibrato thing throw me off for long enough. That's not everything, and you don't have to be perfect to get into these schools. No one is perfect. I got in before, I can get in again."

"Atta boy. And stop thinking about London and PCA and Billson and Tina and everything else and just get in Tony's head, and remember that Something fucking great is Coming…you're going to get into one of those schools and come home to me and the rest of your adoring fans here in Amer-RIKA."

Blaine chuckled at Sebastian's horrible Puerto Rican accent. He bounced on his toes. "Okay, Coach take me off the bench!"

Sebastian laughed, imagining Blaine in a football uniform. "Go get 'em, Killer," he said quietly, closing his eyes. _I love you,_ he wanted to say.

Blaine felt a surge of gratitude. He closed his eyes, picturing Sebastian's green eyes. He said in an intimate whisper, "Thanks, Seb. You are the best." _I love you,_ he wanted to say, too. But he suddenly remembered the time and said with concern, "Don't you have to get to your game?"

Sebastian had nearly forgotten about his game, in spite of his full pads and gear. His head jerked up.

"SEBASTIAN!" Thomas cried from the other end of the locker room. "Coach Virk is looking for you! I told him you had to get your helmet from the bus but he will not believe it if you do not come soon. Tell the Muppet you will be demoted to second string if you don't hang up with him now."

Sebastian jumped out of the shower stall and started sprinting out of the locker room, helmet under his arm, stick and gloves in one hand and hissing into the phone: "Christ, I gotta go. Talk to you after the game. Let's both go kick some ass."

"Okay, good luck, bye!" Blaine said breathlessly, moving quickly out to the main hallway.

"Bye…" Sebastian breathed into the phone before he shoved it into his pocket as Thomas fell into step with him. Sebastian threw his stick and helmet at him so he could don his gloves as they both ran out to the field. Then he turned his head with a subtle nod and look that Thomas had learned was Sebastian's way of saying thank you. "Hear much, eavesdropper?"

Thomas couldn't repress a hearty laugh even as they ran at top speed towards the team. "The Muppet has puppets?"

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: February 25, 2014_  
 _Subject: Random thoughts from 5000 miles away_

_Hi there,_

_Back after the whirlwind of New York and survived a hectic Monday. Once again there's Scottish rain against my windowpane to go with my cup of coffee I'm having at home at last._

_Unfortunately it's a bit of an empty home. Sam wasn't home when I got back Sunday at like 11PM. He's still knee deep in portfolio work and practically living at Liam and Scott's these days so they can all share supplies. It's funny how even the distance of a couple of dorm floors makes the heart grow fonder! I miss hearing him pluck at his guitar and it would be comforting to just have him around because I'm kind of on edge after those New York auditions. I really miss Mary too, and Liam and Scott and Leela. Leela's been emailing me about how she's found a room in a house full of West End chorus people, just like the one my mom lived in way back when she met my dad._

_It was a bit odd to be in New York and not see Kurt, but it was a good kind of odd – I felt like a new man, a different guy than I was when I used to go there to see him. Santana said that he wanted her to say hello to me for him, and that he hoped I was doing well. I told her to give him all my best as well. She grumbled about being a carrier pigeon but said she would. I'm just glad that I don't feel miserable thinking about him anymore and that I think I am getting to a less awkward place about him._

_That being said, since I was staying with those friends of Cooper's who I had never met before, it was a lonelier time than my past visits past to NYC. I look forward to the day that you and I both visit New York at the same time. I'd love to see which sections are your favorite at the Met and just wander neighborhoods and Central Park with you._

_Santana, Artie, Dani and I talked about you at dinner, were your ears burning? :) All good things, save a few of Santana's barbs, which are just her way of bragging that she knows you better than anyone (but me)._

_At dinner, Santana and I talked about auditions and how nerve racking they can be, but how each one teaches you something. I'm still on waiting on pins and needles to see what lessons I'll be learning from my last three school auditions in March/April when I hear about my admissions. Even though I feel like I did much better in them, I'm still nervous waiting._

_While I am proud of what I accomplished in high school (thank you again for reminding me of that when I needed it the most before my UCLA audition), auditions this year has been such a lesson in humility for sure. Actually not just auditions, all of it - like how impressed I've been by the professors at the RC, and also getting to know my talented peers. Like Leela, who is now an understudy for Les Mis when she's only eighteen! She says she's learning so much about how to develop her range and how to keep her other skills sharp so she's ready to go at any moment. She's having to discipline herself without the structure of school for the first time. I wish I had her courage, you should have seen her walking into that audition, she reminds me of a cross between Brittany and Rachel – calm and focused._

_And then there's Oliver, he mentioned yesterday that he did a masterclass last summer with Carmen Tibideaux! And he did a summer workshop with one of Mike's most famous Joffrey teachers. I wish I was as savvy and prepared as he seems to be. I feel so behind. At least he said he'd share his notes from those summer programs with me when we meet about his voice lessons this week. This week we're doing an acapella week in singing class, so I have to decide on something to sing and then maybe I can apply some of the stuff Oliver shares with me._

_I guess I should just be grateful that I have the opportunity to be learning from all these talented people, and to have access to the great resources here. Like Mr. Billson is bringing an old friend of his to do schoolwide workshops soon, he manages one of the most prestigious West End talent agencies! We're all supposed to perform an audition song, so I'll do "Something's Coming," of course. It's starting to feel like an old friend._

_I'll be singing it again of course this weekend, when it's back to London we go. It will feel lonelier without Leela with me, but I have Maury and the rest of the class is very nice, so I'll still enjoy myself._

_Well I know you are busy, so I'll stop rambling at you. Do get me up to date when you can. Hang in there with everything you have going on, and know that I'm rooting for you over here. Can't wait to see you and give you a hug. Miss you ._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_

_Date: February 25, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: Random thoughts from 5000 miles away_

_Hey Killer:_

_I unfortunately can't write for long, I have to get to my stupid Physics lab soon. And I probably won't get to write later either, between rehearsal for MC regionals, company research for mock interviews, and this conference call I set up with the McKinsey consulting recruiters about combining the MBA and undergrad speaker events at the end of the quarter. I don't think it will be hard to persuade them, since it will save their executives' time and boost their keynote's ego with a bigger audience. But damn I wish this afternoon wasn't the only time they could do the planning call. Because then in the evening we have mock interviews again and then I have to get started on my outlines for my final papers of the quarter._

_It sounds like you enjoyed the rest of your time in NYC. Glad San's nicer to you than she is to me. She'd better be or she and I'll be having words. It's excellent that you felt like a new man in New York City, it's the only way to feel in that town - or you get trampled to death. Finally, you know I'm always interested in your latest thoughts on your continued evolution, but I'll offer no comment on Hummel, as usual. If you're happy with it, then I support where you're at._

_As for those auditions - from what you said afterwards, I'm not worried at all. Take a breath, there's nothing you can do now. Enjoy the fact that you don't have them looming in front of you anymore._

_Oh, and you do have Leela's courage. You have enough for ten women (let's face it they're more courageous than men for the most part). With everything you've been through (like a rock salt slushie, for instance) you keep coming back for more, Killer. You've got the courage, just keep hauling it out._

_And try not to worry about your buddy Oliver's fancypants summer camp stuff. Those are nice-to-haves, not essential for someone like you. Can you tell me more about this guy? I'm wondering if he's trying to namedrop to intimidate you. And why is he taking the time to share all of his notes? Are you helping him with something in return? Does he have a crush on you? What's his angle?_

_That sucks that Sam hasn't been around. When is that deadline?_

_I hate that I have to go before I have even gotten to properly flirt with you. I want you to know that I am acutely aware that you are getting the short shrift lately from me. That's really not okay, especially if Sam's not around. I will make it up to you in Florida, hopefully in highly inappropriate ways (there, at least I got a parting shot). But I should go before MC revolts and gives up on me. I'm already late. Call me if you need me. Miss you, too. Even though I'm buried under hundreds of emails and half-finished Microsoft word docs, I'm still_

_Yours,_

_Seb_

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _From: Blaine Anderson_  
 _Date: February 27, 2014_  
 _Subject: The odds and ends Thursday email_

_Hey you,_

_Hope you're surviving alright, this week sounds terribly busy for you. Only two weeks and two days until finals, so the crunch must be on. But then after slogging through that week of finals it will be all over and we get to play. I wish we could play all the time like when we were little kids._

_Now when you say you have final papers, does that mean you don't have seated examinations in some of your classes? That would be nice, I always hated that timed test taking environment. But then with a paper you're never sure how much time they expect you to spend on those._

_Did your rehearsal go okay? And how about your meeting with the McKinsey people? That's really cool that as a freshman you are holding these conference calls about great ideas you have for these important executives. That's really incredible. My dad worked for McKinsey for awhile, they are like the most prestigious management consulting firm in the world. I'm so impressed with you. And how did your mock interviews go this time? Are you feeling more prepared? I know you're going to be wonderful. I wish I could see you off to your interviews, you're going to look so dashing in your interview suit :)_

_Wow, you're hobnobbing with blue chip companies and I'm trying to decide what to sing for my 20 classmates in a tiny, dark classroom in Scotland. I think I'm going to go with "The Wood Song" by the Indigo Girls. I sing it whenever I need to get through a tough time, and I think rehearsing it a lot this week will be good for me while I'm waiting for Sam, Mary, Liam and Scott to re-emerge; and while I'm waiting to hear back about college admissions. And while I wait for spring break to get here. Ugh, so much waiting._

_I'll have even more distraction starting Saturday with the next London trip. I'm hoping on this visit I get to Parliament, The National Gallery, Buckingham Palace, The Globe Theatre, and I have a silly wish to see the Victoria and Albert museum to see the original Winnie-the-Pooh drawings._

_I was thinking maybe we should move our calls to Sundays now that you have so much happening on Saturdays these days. Since my London trips are on trains, I can do calls with you on the train if we are on a late one. So let's try for 2PM Sunday your time, 10PM my time - does that work?_

_Thanks for all of your sweet encouragement about the auditions, if I do as well as you think I did, it will be in no small part due to you talking me off the ledge before UCLA. Sam laughed when I told him about the locker room peptalk that was not between a coach and player, but rather between a player in full pads in a shower stall on the phone with a musical theatre student in New York! :D_

_I also appreciate you always reminding me of the courage I have inside. It helps me keep building it, because I know what you say is true. I know it, plus surely you know courage when you see it, because you have a lot of it yourself. We both have been through more than guys our age should have to deal with, but we've come out stronger for it and I need to remember that._

_Oh and don't worry about Oliver. You're sweet to be so protective, but it's really part of the culture at the RC to be collaborative. I don't think he has an angle. But I do think you're right that I could be giving him something in return. I will ask him when we meet up next. And no, he doesn't have a crush on me :) - he's straight._

_We actually had a great meeting this morning where he shared notes with me from Madame Tibideaux. He had me sing all my audition songs for him and he said they were good, but that I might not want to move so much so that I don't distract from my singing. The dance part of an audition will speak for itself. He also said that maybe working on another slower ballad audition song would be good to have ready just in case I'm asked for something else. Something to mull over – what else could I sing? Oliver also seems to have a discerning ear, he said I am singing a little sharp. It's great to get such detailed feedback and he gave it in such a nice way._

_You asked about Sam in your letter. His first deadline is in a week, then I think he has a couple of others and then his art history final exam. So he's going to be a little more around in a week, I hope, but still busy until we get to Florida._

_Everytime we mention Florida it stands in my mind like a distant fantasy island, full of palm trees and laughing with you, and so much Harry Potter goodness. It can't come soon enough._

_Okay, I should get to bed. I'm sleeping in your hoodie tonight 'cause I miss you more than usual._

_Love,  
Blaine_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe_  
 _Date: February 28, 2014_  
 _Subject: Re: The odds and ends Thursday email_

B:

_I'm really sorry I'm late writing you. Time got away from me while I was up way too late arguing with my lab partner about our report due today._

_Hang in there, babe. I know it's not a walk in the park lately: Sam being gone, waiting on schools, I'm useless these days. I really will do something nice for you in Florida – we'll get a massage or something, whatever you want. I would flirt with you at this point but I suspect I would get into more trouble with you than I probably already am._

_Sorry, I have to address your letter point by point I'm not mentally functioning to the level required to write this in an elegant style:_

_1) Yes, I only have a seated physics exam this quarter, which is going to be like sitting down for the devil. The final papers are monsters for my other classes._

_2) Rehearsal went surprising well. MC is pulling it together. I'm pumped for competition Saturday._

_3) McKinsey meeting went fine, they said yes. I'm working with execs on their speaking points._

_4) What I'm doing with McKinsey is not any more important than what you're doing. In the big picture, these are just rich companies helping other rich guys get even richer. Yes there are positive byproducts like how Facebook connects people and Google brings information to the world, blah blah blah…but in the end, it's not more important than what you do for the audience when you get on stage. You somehow manage to make a cynical bastard like me feel something and it'll make me better at my job and it already makes me a better man. Much better than if I let my mind rot watching a crap reality show._

_5) I eavesdropped on you playing the "The Wood Song" after the almost-wedding. It was affecting – an excellent choice._

_6) More London = More Happy!Blaine, so two thumbs up ._

_7) Sunday calls definitely work better. I'll find a way to make 2PT work._

_8) I disagree with Oliver on less movement. You really know how to move and you aren't over the top about it, it's not distracting - it really enhances the performance. I also don't think you should waste time prepping a fourth audition song. What you have is good, don't mess with it. Are you sure Oliver knows what he's talking about? I also can't imagine you singing sharp. I guess I can't judge from here but I think you have a good ear. Trust your gut. Don't be overly dazzled by that guy's resume ._

_9) Glad Sam might be around a little more soon._

_Damn, that is like the worst letter I've ever written. I'm sorry I suck right now. We will prevail over this stinking quarter. I'll try to text you tomorrow. It's getting brutal, how much I miss you._

_Yours,_

_S_

* * *

"Squirt! You're alive, you're alive!" Cooper enthused.

"Hey Coop," Blaine said with a fond smile.

"I can't believe we've finally found a time to talk! I'm glad to have you to pass the time with, I'm at a Men's Wearhouse catalog shoot and it is taking forever between set-ups."

"Aww Coop, it's so great to hear your voice."

Cooper asked brightly, "So how are things with you? How is school, the boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend, Coop – remember?" Blaine chided his brother and shook his head.

"Oh whatever, I can tell from your emails you think of him as your boyfriend…"

"I do not!" Blaine protested. "We're getting to be closer, but…lately I don't know if we're ready…if I'm ready…we're going to talk about it at spring break. We just are taking things slow, to make sure…"

"Right, right, right," Cooper interrupted. "You are simmering your boyfriend stew on the backburner, I remember. You can call it what you want, I still think he's basically your boyfriend."

"Whatever, Coop." Blaine rolled his eyes and changed the subject. "But tell me how are things going for you?"

Cooper lit up with excitement. "Great! I got called back for General Hospital! Everyone knows those soap operas are great springboards. So many big stars started in soap operas: Brad Pitt and Kevin Bacon and Demi Moore and Meg Ryan and of course there's James Franco…I bet I can get connected to his mom, who was on the show, and then to him. I've always thought he and I would get along so well. The role is a really meaty one, I would be playing a parapalegic who they think has no hope for much, but he falls in love with one of the main leads, a woman who became a doctor after surviving her own…"

Blaine's mind wandered as Cooper started to rattle on about the soap opera plot. It had been a tough couple of weeks. The PCA nightmare audition and the London rejections were still fresh in his mind; the uncertainty of school admissions was hanging over him.

But most of all, Sebastian's increasingly brief calls, emails and texts, along with Leela's absence and the emptiness of the flat had been producing all too familiar feelings of loneliness. His mind had been flashing back to his weeks following Kurt's departure for New York. It was too similar: the tiring attempts at connection through sporadic communication; the too-fleeting moments of intimacy; the deep feelings of isolation that reminded him of his eight year old self, adrift after his alpha brother left for college.

His mother had always been loving, but formal and rather old fashioned in her parenting. He always adored her from afar as a child, and he never wanted to trouble her with his small concerns. His stoic father felt even more distant. He loved, even revered his father; he always felt safe with his father; but he had never been close to his father.

With the force that was Cooper in his life, it never occurred to Blaine to play with any of his friends outside of the structured time of school, sports, or musical theatre activities. Why would he need to have a playdate, when Cooper was so much more fun to play with or watch? When Cooper left, Blaine felt isolated at home, finding solace only in books and music.

Blaine remembered when Kurt was in New York, he would lie awake at all hours of the night, feeling lonely and worrying about their relationship. Last night, he was awake at 3AM, feeling lonely and worrying about himself in a relationship with Sebastian. He had felt an eerie, very disturbing sense of déja vu.

Of course his worries about Kurt were different than they were with Seb. Not surprisingly, everything was more extreme with Sebastian Smythe. His texts and emails were even less warm and fuzzy than Kurt's. But when they did connect, as they did before his UCLA audition, it felt so much more deeply intimate than it ever had with Kurt, and it made him miss Sebastian so much that it physically ached in his chest. He would find himself falling in love even more, which was still surprising. How could it be possible to love one person so much? Why did it always feel like all or nothing with Sebastian?

Kurt had been subtly dismissive of Blaine's news and concerns. Sebastian was just the opposite, all he talked about was what was going on with Blaine. Why was it in both situations Blaine felt like he was getting the short end of the stick?

"But I think I'd look better with shorter hair. What do you think?"

Blaine was looking glazed over. "Squirt?"

"Huh?" Blaine shook himself and apologized in an anxious voice. "Sorry…"

"Where did you go?" asked Cooper, his blue eyes looking concerned. "Are you okay?"

[](http://imgur.com/EI8lBYX)

Blaine answered with a pang of gratitude towards his brother for asking, "I guess I've just been...a little...homesick. And...lonely."

"Lonely for Sebastian?"

Blaine's looked surprised at Cooper's perceptiveness. "Why do you ask that?"

"No one sounds as sad you sound without there being some romance involved," Cooper said sagely. "We learned that in my Learning Tree acting workshop last weekend."

"That's so trite," Blaine shook his head. "And true," he admitted, chuckling.

"Awww..." Cooper smiled. "Why don't you just use your Christmas plane ticket and go see him?"

"I already used it to get me to Orlando for spring break. Anyway, even if I did fly 9 hours to go see him, I would just completely stress him out. He's so busy with finals and recruiting and lacrosse and glee club. I would only get in the way."

"I doubt he would see it quite that way," remarked Cooper, looking worried. "But yeah, it sounds like a bad time for a visit. Well, you're going to see him during your spring break, right? Isn't that coming up soon?

"Yeah," Blaine said with a tremulous sigh. "But what am I supposed to do until then...hold my breath?"

"Squirt, you don't just sound like you miss him. You seem kind of shaken up. Did you guys fight or something?"

"No," replied Blaine slowly. "It's just...it just all reminds me too much of when Kurt and I were drifting apart when he first moved to New York."

"Has Sebastian been ignoring you?" Cooper looked suddenly stern.

"No," Blaine answered quickly. "He's just really busy at school and trying to balance a lot - I'm trying to be understanding of that. He's never missed a call, in fact he's actually called a few extra times. And he is trying so hard to make time to email me twice a week.

[](http://imgur.com/k6r8ud6)

He paused, looking thoughtful. "With Kurt, I thought he was moving on. I know Seb's not moving on from me…I know he wants to make this work, I really do. But I don't feel any less lonely. I'm worried about what that says about where I'm at."

Cooper's blue eyes were sympathetic, but he bit his lip, not knowing what to say.

Blaine pondered the situation some more. "But maybe part of why I'm lonely is that Sam is gone almost all the time these days. He's working his tail off on art stuff for a big deadline coming up. And my best friend in my program, Leela, just dropped out of school for a great part she got on the West End. Maybe it just feels like my career stuff isn't going as fast as everyone else's? I feel left behind that way, and that's part of the loneliness?"

Cooper nodded. "When you start out it can be hard. Not everyone can be a virtual overnight sensation like I was."

Blaine restrained from rolling his eyes.

"If it feels like everyone's busier than you are, make yourself busy, Squirt! Start a new club! Audition for some regional theatre in Scotland! Heck, compose some music! That's what you've always done when you've had a tough time."

Blaine said earnestly, "Those are all great ideas, Coop - but that actually makes me think about how I joined every club at McKinley to distract myself from my crumbling relationship with Kurt."

"But Little Brother, Kurt's life went into hyperdrive and it's hasn't stopped - he's doing the crazy young-in-New-York thing. Seb's just in finals. That will pass in a week or two."

Blaine nodded and took a deep breath. "That's true. Our relationship isn't crumbling, it's just hard. But while it's hard, I don't have to be that pathetic guy, the one who can't handle being apart for a minute from his boyfriend…"

"Hah!" Cooper said, grinning.

"What?"

"You called him your boyfriend!"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "I was talking about a hypothetical person that I don't want to be like, Coop."

"Whatever! You called him your boyfriend!"

Blaine grimaced. "That not what I…"

"Yes you did! You called him your boyfriend! You called him your boyfriend!"

Blaine sighed. He loved his brother very much, but Cooper was only equipped to handle so much big brothering. "I think it's time to hang up now, Coop..."

"Why? Just because you called him your boyfriend?"

"Goodbye, Cooper. I love you. Thanks for everything..."

"You called him your boyfriend! You called him your boyfriend! You called him your boyfriend!"

"Really hanging up now..."

* * *

Blaine sat on a stool in front of his Singing for Musical Theatre class on Friday afternoon with a small, thoughtful smile on his face. He took a deep breath and sang the song that had been keeping him tethered all week:

_[Do yourself a favor and listen at _[the link here](http://youtube.com/watch?v=djvIWPJ_zXc)_ _

_The thin horizon of a plan is almost clear_  
 _My friends and I have had a tough time_  
 _Bruising our brains hard up against change_  
 _All the old dogs and the magician_

_Now I see we're in the boat in two-by-two's_  
 _Only the heart that we have for a tool we could use_  
 _And the very close quarters are hard to get used to_  
 _Love weighs the hull down with its weight_

_But the wood is tired, and the wood is old_  
 _And we'll make it fine, if the weather holds_  
 _But if the weather holds, we'll have missed the point_  
 _That's where I need to go_

_No way construction of this tricky plan_  
 _Was built by other than a greater hand_  
 _With a love that passes all our understanding_  
 _Watching closely over the journey_

_Yeah, but what it takes to cross the great divide_  
 _Seems more that all the courage I can muster up inside_  
 _But we got to have some answers when we reach the other side_  
 _The prize is always worth the rocky ride_

Blaine saw Sam slip in the back door and sit down in the last row. They smiled at each other and Blaine continued.

_But the wood is tired, and the wood is old_  
 _And we'll make it fine, if the weather holds_  
 _But if the weather holds, we'll have missed the point_  
 _That's where I need to go_

_Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look_  
 _Skip to the final chapter of the book_  
 _And then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took_  
 _To get us where we are this far, this far_

_But the question drowns in its futility_  
 _Even I have got to laugh at me_  
 _No one gets to miss the storm of what will be_  
 _Just holding on for the ride_

_But the wood is tired, and the wood is old_  
 _And we'll make it fine, if the weather holds_  
 _But if the weather holds, we'll have missed the point_  
 _That's where I need to go_

* * *

"No, you can't chintz out on your consumer research budget or you won't be able to know how much to spend on anything else," Sebastian argued. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out. "Guys, I have to take this," he said unapologetically, stepping into the hall. "Blaine? I thought we weren't going to talk until later…is everything okay?"

Blaine sighed and sniffed, his voice thick with congestion. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just kicking myself for being an idiot. I missed the last train back to Edinburgh by five minutes. I just wanted to vent. And I miss you. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

[](http://imgur.com/zfWBJMA)

"No," Sebastian lied. He looked worried. "You missed your train? I'm sorry, that sucks. So do you have a place to stay tonight? And shit, that cold you caught yesterday sounds bad. Did you take anything for it?"

Blaine heard a voice calling in the background. " _Sebastian! What are you doing out there?!_ "

"Seb, it sounds like you're in the middle of something… I'm okay, I'm headed back to the hostel to lie down." Blaine coughed and sounded weary.

"The hostel?" Sebastian repeated, brow furrowed. He heard street noise and cars splashing through the London rain and puddles.

"I'll just talk to you on our Skype. Or actually we should make that a call 'cause I think I'm gonna be in bed. I'll talk to you later…"

"No, wait, I can talk now, I _want_ to talk to you now. It's just a meeting. Hold on," he commanded. Blaine heard him speak away from the phone. "Stewart, I have to reschedule, I'm sorry."

Blaine heard the voice again. _"RESCHEDULE? You said this was the best time for you – what's going on?"_ Stewart glared, but Sebastian waved him back into the room.

Blaine protested again in an urgent whisper. "Seb! I'll call you back, go back to your meeting. That's your case meeting, with all those upperclassmen!"

"No," Sebastian said forcefully. "Just hold on one more minute. These idiots really will survive if we reschedule."

"So will I!" Blaine protested, but he got no answer.

Sebastian had put him on hold and stepped back into the meeting room. "Look you guys, I'm sorry to do this but it turns out I just can't meet right now. If you want to go ahead and assign me some stuff to do I'll do more than my share."

The group looked up at him with annoyance.

Sebastian closed his laptop. "Again, I'm sorry. It's kind of an emergency. My…" Sebastian hesitated. " My boyfriend, he just got stranded in a foreign city and is really sick. I have to take this call." Some of the faces softened as he shoved his laptop, pens, and papers in his backpack. "If you can reschedule, just book it on my Google calendar - you can double book my two o'clock, that just opened up. Or just email me what you want me to do, I'll have to go with the majority if I'm not here to debate with you guys. Or if you want me to meet with one or more of you separately later, that's fine too. Again, my Google calendar. Give me extra grunt work or whatever. I'll make it up to you, I promise. Text me if you have some crazy emergency question, but I just have to take this call."

And with that he zipped up his backpack and stepped back out in the hall.

"B, you still there?"

"Yes, I'm still here," Blaine sniffed, pushing his suitcase through a puddle and up a curb.

"You sound terrible. Did you take something for it? You need to take the Sudafed 18 hour for that congestion. I'm hoping they have that in the UK, you have to ask the pharmacist for it here. Do you have a fever?"

"Maybe," Blaine coughed and stopped to wipe raindrops dripping from his eyelashes. "I don't know if I'm hot because of that or because I'm sweaty from rushing to the train station and pushing my luggage around…"

"B, you can't go back to one of those wretched youth hostels when you're sick."

Blaine sneezed and winced as an open umbrella hurrying by poked his face. "It's okay, Seb. I just need to lay down. And the hostel is right near the train station. I'm almost there."

"You can't go there, let me just call my travel agent…"

"No, Seb. The hostel is fine." Blaine said with annoyance, as his suitcase wheel caught in the pavement. He struggled and wrenched it out .

"Blaine, that hostel is probably where you got that virus. How clean can that place be if you're only paying forty bucks a night? Judy can get you our suite at The Savoy, there's a doctor on call there and they can…"

"SEBASTIAN, I DON'T NEED YOU TO RESCUE ME!" Blaine exploded.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and stopped walking towards his dorm. He exhaled, clutching his forehead and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Blaine was apologetic but still frustrated. "I'm sorry Bas, I know you're just trying to help… I just...feel like crap and I just…"

"I know," Sebastian said remorsefully, rubbing his temple. "You just wanted to vent and I swept in there like an idiot again and made you feel like an infant. I'm sorry. Again." He sat down on a bench. "Fuck, how many times am I going to do this to you?"

Blaine softened, knowing Sebastian's face was grimacing in self-reproach. "I know you're just worried about me, baby. But I'm going to be okay. I just need to lie down. And it really _is_ good to hear your voice."

There was an awkward pause.

Blaine felt bad as he yanked his suitcase up the steps and pushed open the hostel door. "I'm sorry I yelled."

Sebastian stared at the bench morosely. He felt like lying down on it but it wasn't big enough. "It's okay, I deserved it."

Blaine stuck his lower lip out in empathy. "No, you didn't. I didn't need to explode. Especially after you rescheduled your important meeting for me, you didn't have to do that."

"Of course I did. You're more important."

"Aww, Seb." Blaine smiled weakly as he sunk into a chair in a corner, feeling the lobby heating thaw his face.

Sebastian remained silent. He just wanted to listen.

Blaine sighed but then spoke gently. "I took some Dayquil but I think it's wearing off. What was it you said I should take again?"

Sebastian sounded tired. "Sudafed 18 hour, but don't take that until tomorrow. That stuff is basically speed, you'd never get to sleep tonight. Sorry, I was panicking and I forgot that it's evening for you right now. Get a good dinner and take Nyquil and sleep a good 12 hours. Do you need me to email Sam for you? I assume your theatre buddies figured out you're missing and will deal with your absence tomorrow? "

"Yeah, I texted them and Sam already," Blaine said, fumbling for his Kleenex.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Sebastian asked quietly. He added, "You don't have to, if you're too tired now."

"No, I want to tell you," Blaine said, concern seeping into his voice. "Seb are _you_ okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm just tired and I still feel bad for acting like an asshole."

"You didn't act like an asshole." Blaine said, coughing. "Stop apologizing."

Sebastian exhaled and stood up to start walking again. "Are you at the hostel yet?"

"Yeah, I'm sitting down in the lobby." Blaine sniffed.

"You want me to hold on while you get a bed? Or do you want to call me back after you've gotten some rest? You should lay down and get some rest."

Blaine coughed and replied, "These calls are expensive, I'll call you back. Thanks, baby." They hung up.

Sebastian decided to make a beeline for the Coupa café. His foot tapped steadily as he stood in line, and he found that he couldn't focus on the twenty new emails in his inbox. He stared out the window until he finally got an idea and started texting. When he was done and had picked up his coffee he hit the second number on his speed dial list as he headed out of the café.

"Well the Devil's finally come down from Georgia! You haven't called in so long I thought maybe a California earthquake swallowed your skinny ass up..."

"'Tana I don't have time to screw around," Sebastian interrupted. "I'm so freaking exhausted that I can't see straight and I am buried in work to do today and now Blaine just called, he missed the last train back to school from London and he's sick as a dog in torrential rain and he's staying in one of those revolting youth hostel things that will just get him sicker and he won't let me just get him a hotel room. So we're going to skip the pleasantries today..."

Santana interjected, "Why won't Blainers let you get him a hotel room?"

"He's weird about money sometimes with me and he says he doesn't want me to rescue him...I don't get it either," Sebastian rolled his eyes. "But I figure if he won't let me help him, you can."

Santana looked baffled. "What the hell can I do from New York ?"

* * *

Blaine paid at the hostel's front desk, inquired about soup for dinner, checked the train schedules and trudged up the stairs with his suitcase and found his bed. He peeled off his very wet overcoat and boots, then collapsed on top of the covers of his bed with a sigh, clutching his tissues. He wanted to just lay down for a bit before going to get dinner. He dialed Sebastian.

Sebastian answered on the first ring. He was now almost back to his dorm. The caffeine was stirring his blood again. "And how is my little snot-nosed orphan?"

"You're cruel. I want to kill myself, my head is going to explode and you're picking on me."

Sebastian gritted his teeth. "Too soon, huh? Sorry. Are you lying down yet? What is it, like 20 beds to a room in that place?"

"Yes, I'm lying down - thank god. And you are a Dalton snob until the end. There are only four to a room. This place is actually luxurious compared to the one in Inverness. That was like an army barrack. But I don't care, it could be one with 40 beds, I'm just happy to lay down. I could be in a barn for all I care right now."

"So what happened tonight that waylaid you?" Sebastian asked too casually, glancing at a couple of texts on his phone.

Blaine sniffed and groped for Kleenex in his coat pocket. "Nothing, I was just an idiot. I went off to the Victoria and Albert Museum on my own and I lost track of time."

Sebastian looked off at the Stanford foothills and mused, "Ah…you got lost in the 100 Acre Wood ."

Blaine coughed out a little huff of amusement, "Sebastian Smythe and Winnie the Pooh – that's a priceless combination."

The signature smirk appeared. "What? Sebastian Smythe was a child once, too."

Blaine coughed again and chuckled. "I thought you sprang forth from the earth fully grown."

"Wrong god. I sprang forth from a tree, but I was just a babe."

Blaine snorted and blew his nose. "Just when I think you can't get more conceited, you identify yourself with Adonis."

"I don't hear you contradicting me, Apollo."

"Mmm," Blaine smiled. "Well if I were to peg you with anyone in Greek mythology, the god of desire isn't a bad fit." He added wistfully, looking at this suitcase, "We should go to Greece some day and visit all the sites where all these myths were set."

"Sounds good, Killer." Sebastian gulped his coffee, glancing at a passing music student with a guitar. "Hey, how did 'The Wood Song' go on Friday?"

Blaine smiled. "Good. Well Mr. Billson had some notes that were a little confusing, but I didn't care – it felt good to sing it for an audience." He paused. "I can't believe you remembered that in the middle of all your craziness this week."

"I remember the important stuff. Did rehearsing it help you this week?"

"Yeah, it did," Blaine murmured. "It helped a lot. Oh, and Sam came in during the performance and heard the second half. He said he felt bad he hasn't been around."

"He should," Sebastian's brow furrowed. "I count on him to take care of you." He paused, looking a bit tentative. "Not that you NEED taking care of…"

Blaine's sympathetic smile reappeared. "I know what you mean. Stop beating yourself up about earlier."

Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair and opened his dorm room door. "I'll stop it when I stop being a jackass in these situations."

Blaine coughed. "You weren't a jackass, you just panicked, like you said. It's okay, just forgive yourself. And you have to do what I say because I'm sick."

"Wait, you said we had to do what you said because it was your birthday." Sebastian kicked off his shoes. "I don't think a common cold really merits the same treatment as a birthday."

"Shut up before you say something else you'll regret saying if this turns out to be pneumonia. Now say something comforting, Smythe. My head hurts."

"Damn, he lays a guilt trip and barks orders in one breath. You are going to be an effective parent someday." Sebastian chuckled, chucking his backpack into his chair, laying down on his bed and closing his eyes. "Hmmm… something comforting..." He paused. "Sorry, I got nothing. You should probably call your mom. Or Tina. Or even Sam. I suck at this."

Blaine wouldn't let him off the hook, waiting with drooped eyelids and a slight smile on his face. "You've been comforting without knowing it before. Take your time, I'll wait for you to come up with something."

Sebastian smiled softly, wishing he could run his fingers through Blaine's hair. "Hmm, how about something about hoodies and tucking you in...You like that when you're drunk, does it work while you're sick?"

"Mmmm, yes. But you have to actually form a complete thought."

"Okay..." Sebastian chuckled again. "Imagine I'm there with a wet towel to wash your face off, and give you an appropriate kiss on the forehead." He smiled. "And to take off your sweaty clothes…"

"If you start making sex jokes I'm going to revoke your flirting privileges for 60-90 days, minimum," groaned Blaine, coughing.

Sebastian smirked. "I'm offended, you perv. I was just going to say that I would help you take off your disgusting, germ-infested clothes and help you put on a clean hoodie, the old Dalton one that is probably worn to an incredibly comfortable state by now (I miss that thing); I'd feed you the thick, decadent chicken soup that Teresa makes with fresh egg noodles and the steam will clear your nose a bit; I'd dip some fresh bread in it for you too…"

"Mmmm, you don't suck at this at all," hummed Blaine.

Encouraged, Sebastian ran his hand through his hair and groped for more to say. "Um, let's see what else? Oh, imagine I'd sing you a lullaby…"

"Well I don't need to imagine it. You can sing me a lullaby right now."

Sebastian smiled the bashful smile almost no one ever saw. "Oh god, you are demanding. What do you want to hear? Oh, and I'm not singing that MJ song about the rat."

Blaine blew his nose and chuckled. "But I loved that, Finn and Rachel were so sweet to visit me and sing to me." His smile turned rueful. "Oh man, I miss them so much."

"I'm sure you do, but you were also high as a kite on painkillers, so I think you would have loved anything they sang. And don't think I don't remember Hummel sang that with them...and you're high again if you think I'm going to sing you anything he sang."

Blaine chuckled again. "Ok, you can sing me anything you want. Oh wait, before you do that, tell me more about Regionals...I was so happy for you guys."

Sebastian shook his head. "You sound like death warmed over and you still want to know about our little college glee club." He smiled at the memory anyway. "What else do you want to know? I texted you the highlights, don't you remember? The near costume disaster? The spastic judge? How I had to dodge nearly getting hit in the head with the trophy after we won?"

Blaine coughed and smiled wanly. "I want more of the good stuff, silly. What was your favorite part?"

"Umm… I guess performing Tango Maureen with Karen – we killed it. I'd never want to play Mark Cohen for a production, but for the one number, it was a blast." And you should have seen Rob's face when he saw Karen up close in her slutty costume. He is such a goner. Jay was giving him such a hard time about it when we went out afterwards with everyone ." _[author's note: hear Seb's duet here: http://youtu.be/RWJaEg5AnUs]_

"I can't wait to see the video. I bet you hammed it up," Blaine said, laying a clammy hand on his forehead.

"Yeah, that was fun - I didn't get to do a lot of comedy with the Warblers."

"You were too busy playing smoldering front man. I guess you'd be Roger in Rent."

"I can't pull off rock opera."

"You totally could if you tried."

"I don't have the pipes," Sebastian shrugged. "I only have time to stick with my strengths these days. You're the one with all the versatility. Tell me more about auditions."

Blaine sighed. "Well I tanked today because of this stupid cold." He blew his nose as if to illustrate.

"Sorry," Sebastian said lamely, trying to think of something better to say.

"It's okay, it happens." Blaine coughed.

"Well you got Saturday as an audition exercise, and you got called back again," Sebastian said reasonably.

"Yeah."

Sebastian hoped the sniffle he heard was due to the cold. "You're going to get all the parts, Killer. All in good time. Enjoy the ride."

"I should say the same to you," Blaine said, coughing.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"You're doing so much, you sound so tired." Blaine sniffed.

Sebastian sat up in bed and took a deep breath. "This is just a particularly insane quarter. I'll survive."

"But when will you enjoy the ride?" Blaine asked worriedly, blowing his nose.

Sebastian leaned back on his headboard and pulled his knees up towards his chest. "I do. Like I said, Regionals was awesome. La Vie Boheme was hysterical and everyone miraculously pulled off the choreography. And the medley totally came off, too. I thought about you guys when we did the 'Seasons of Love' bit, though."

"Yeah, when I see that bit of the video I'm going to end up getting weepy."

"Sorry." Sebastian never knew quite how to help in these moments.

Blaine coughed and stared at the graffiti on the underside of the upper bunk. "Don't be, it wasn't your song selection and even if it was, I wouldn't blame you. It's a beautiful song and I actually like how it helps me remember Finn. I'm just going to get emotional when I hear it. I kind of hope I always will, actually."

"Oh, okay."

Blaine could picture Sebastian nodding gravely, processing this foreign domain. He missed his face so much. He sighed and tried not to think about it. "But outside of Mixed Company, is the rest of your load more fun than it sounds in your emails this week? How was your game yesterday?"

"Good. We won again."

Blaine blew his nose. "Your attention to detail in these accounts never ceases to amaze me."

Sebastian stretched his neck and rolled his eyes. "Your snarkiness even while severely congested is amazing as well."

Blaine was suddenly tired again. "Shut up," he pouted. "Tell me how much you miss me. Do you even miss me?"

Sebastian leaned forward, rested his arms on his knees and got quieter. "Well of course I miss you, Killer."

"Tell me how much," Blaine murmured. "I don't know if I believe you."

Sebastian had to smile softly. "Damn, you're really milking this sick and alone in a foreign country business. Mmmm…well first, which bunk are you in, lower or upper?"

"Lower," Blaine said, wiping his nose.

"Okay, I miss you so much that I'm tempted to ditch everything and fly out and sleep on the top bunk so I can hand Kleenex down to you all night ."

"Wow, you miss me a lot," chortled Blaine, coughing violently.

Sebastian tried, on a daily basis, not to think about how much he missed Blaine. He stretched his arm up and stared at the ceiling, trying to think of more to talk about. His gaze landed on his watch. "Hey, I'm looking at the watch you bestowed upon me. Do you know it makes my wrist look more handsome?"

Blaine smiled and sniffed. "But it was so handsome already."

"I know, it's amazing how it is somehow making the curvature more graceful. And yet stronger and sexier at the same time."

Blaine laughed. "You should put that in your final paper for your writing class. And you should do your summer internship at an ad agency writing copy. Now stop making me laugh, it's making my throat hurt now."

"You are the bossiest sick person I've ever met."

Blaine heard steps at the door and peeked out of his bunk. "What the…" he rubbed his eyes and stared at a mirage.

"Surprise!"

[](http://imgur.com/O9QPMyp)

" Rory ?!"

Sebastian exhaled. "Damn, it took him long enough. Let me talk to him."

But Blaine was completely befuddled, his congested head making it all the more overwhelming. "What?" he asked Sebastian. "He's not a fever dream? What the heck are you doing here, Rory?" He got out of the bunk and went to hug his friend.

"Hey, it's great to see ya buddy!" Rory pulled back to give him a welcoming smile. He grinned and clapped Blaine on the shoulder and tousled his wet curly hair. "You look terrible, my friend! Let's get you out of here!"

"Hey guys," Sebastian voice boomed through the phone still in Blaine's hand. "I'm hanging up, okay?"

Blaine put the phone to his ear again. "Seb, wait!" He held a finger up to Rory to ask him to wait a minute, then put Sebastian on speakerphone. "Seb I just put you speaker. So, did you call Rory? How did you…"

Sebastian smirked. "Killer, all roads in these kinds of situations lead back to Santana Lopez."

Blaine smiled as he nodded his head in comprehension. "You called her..."

"While you were checking in. I can't stand the stench of youth hostels, I couldn't let you do it while you're sick. And this way it's not me rescuing you, it's your McKinley cult rescuing you."

Blaine shook his head and smiled. "It's still you, but I'm so glad to see Rory that I forgive you. Wait, so Santana..."

"Texted all the New Directions asking if they knew anyone in London who could take you in tonight," Rory supplied with a broad smile. "Sugar remembered I'm in school here, not too far across town.."

Sebastian added with chagrin, "I have to admit the Dalton boys were much slower. They came through, but it took seven minutes longer. At least now we know that Thad's uncle owns a flat right on the north end of Covent Garden, for next time we're in town."

Rory said, "Well that's a lot farther than where I am, though I'm sorry I took so long to get here - I came as fast as I could get away."

Blaine smiled at Rory and blew his nose again. He teased Sebastian, "Oh...so you were chatting with me until Rory got here, not because you actually wanted to talk to me."

Sebastian chuckled. "Well we couldn't have you falling asleep on NyQuil before he got there."

"No wonder you let me go on and on. Normally you tell me to shut up and go to sleep when I'm sick and you hang up with me. I thought you were being indulgent."

"Nope, just scheming as usual."

Blaine coughed, rolled his eyes and looked back at Rory. "This is one those times where you can actually HEAR him smirking through the phone ." His expression changed a sweeter one as he studied Rory's familiar face. "It was so good of you to come, it's so nice to see someone from home. I mean, sort of."

"Of course I'm happy to come, Blaine." Rory gestured towards the door in his friendly way. "Come on now, my flatmate is a local and his mum's got their guest room ready for you, buddy. She's got soup and an eiderdown quilt with your name on it. I'll be sleepin' on their sofa bed and tomorrow we'll get you on a train back to old Sam."

Blaine's face crumpled in gratitude. "Oh I could kiss you," he sighed happily.

"Hey now," Sebastian said. "Borderline non-harmless flirting is my department ."

* * *

Sebastian woke with a start to Blaine's 'Wonderland' ringtone. His cheek was stuck to his Physics textbook and he pulled it off with disgust, fumbling around for his phone. "You should be asleep, B. Like I was," he said, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry Seb – you took a nap? Good for you."

Sebastian squinted at his alarm clock. "No, not good for me. I can't afford naps these days. Though I'm not sure my face stuck in a pile of drool on my Physics book counts as a real nap."

"Poor baby. Well I think you should take a real nap, you'll study better when you're sharper after some rest. And I'm right behind you. Mrs. Trowbridge just tucked me in. I wish you were with me."

Sebastian was rubbing his eyes. "No you don't, because I'd be at the desk keeping you awake with the light from the lamp."

Blaine blew his nose. "I wouldn't care."

"We've got to hang up. Stop flirting with me and go to sleep, Killer," Sebastian chided. "And I have to finish my last godforsaken problem set for physics and then hell knows what that case team has left for me to do, and…" Sebastian trailed off, grunting as he stretched his limbs out.

Blaine pleaded, "Okay, but can I beg you for that lullaby, and then I promise to stop being a big baby and let you go study so your big brains get even bigger?" He gave a honking cough, as if for emphasis.

Sebastian sighed and got up from his chair to crash down on his bed. He would just have to stay up a little later tonight.

"Alright, alright, you big baby. You're so pathetic...I didn't think you could sound worse but now you do. Plus I'm imagining a Skype with the puppy eyes would be next, so I'm going to save time and not argue." Sebastian smiled in spite of himself. "What do you want me to sing?"

"Runaway with Me," Blaine murmured, burrowing under the quilt more.

Sebastian blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Nope, I get all worked up and dramatic when I do that one, it won't work as a lullaby."

Blaine yawned and blew his nose. "Okay, sing anything...I just need something to distract me from this mucus disaster until the Nyquil kicks in."

"TMI, Anderson. I did not need that visual." Sebastian rolled over on his stomach and drank from his water bottle.

"Just sing, Warbler…" Blaine put his mobile on speakerphone and lay it on the pillow. His lashes fluttered as his eyes closed and he yawned again.

"Okay, okay, bossy baby boy. How about this, I know you love your BJ..."

Sebastian tuned his voice soft and sweet: _[hear Seb's lullaby to Blaine[here](http://youtu.be/h3iSaoKYNIg)]._

_Goodnight, my angel_  
 _Time to close your eyes_  
 _And save these questions for another day_  
 _I think I know what you've been asking me_  
 _I think you know what I've been trying to say_  
 _I promised I would never leave you_  
 _And you should always know_  
 _Wherever you may go_  
 _No matter where you are_  
 _I never will be far away_

_Goodnight, my angel_  
 _Now it's time to sleep_  
 _And still so many things I want to say_  
 _Remember all the songs you sang for me  
 _When we went sailing on an emerald bay_  
 _And like a boat out on the ocean_  
 _I'm rocking you to sleep_  
 _The water's dark_  
 _And deep inside this ancient heart_  
 _You'll always be a part of me__

_Goodnight, my angel_  
 _Now it's time to dream_  
 _And dream how wonderful your life will be_  
 _Someday our child may cry_  
 _And if you sing this lullaby_  
 _Then in your heart_  
 _There will always be a part of me_

_Someday we'll all be gone_  
 _But lullabies go on and on..._  
 _They never die_  
 _That's how you_  
 _And I_  
 _Will be_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this jaunt as they hobble their way towards spring break, from the New York/Oregon locker room peptalk (Thomas isn't so bad after all, is he?) to the Stanford/Scotland love letters to the Anderbros love to the return of my favorite Indigo Girls song from our prior fic _[Stop the Wedding](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1011620/chapters/2008112)_. And of course I hope you enjoyed a lovely bit of Seblaine at last, tucked at the tail end of the chapter with a dash of Sebtana and a bonus surprise Rory :). Hope you were as glad to have these folks pop in (especially Coop, he's always fun to write). Please review and let me know what your favorite bits where (I'm guessing there will be fan's of Seb's little white lie that he secretly loved telling his case competition teammates), what you'd like to see more of or less of, etc. We'd love your feedback and will do our best to see how we can fit in your desires!  Or just say hi in your review and give us any random or overall thoughts! 
> 
> XOXO  
> TiburonWriter
> 
> P.S. Extra special bonus points if you noticed what word Seb changed in the lullaby, as Blaine was fading off to sleep in a haze of Nyquil...
> 
> P.P.S. Don't forget the whole fic sountrack is available at this [link](http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh).


	24. Vesuvius and The Blaine Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seblaine has some important learning to do. This serious stuff is balanced of course, as is our tradition, by some humor. In the form of Seb's UCLA visit, where he, Nick, Tina, and Coop have too much to drink and they are joined on the phone by a special guest...not who you might think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Thanks for the Ch. 23 reviews and kudos and the rest, everyone! Like regular guest reviewer Kelly, who I love for appreciating Thomas and mentioning the white lie Sebastian made under duress!_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _You know, you'd think we'd be at spring break by now, but - much to the chagrin of one of my beta readers and frankly, myself - we're not. There was just a bit more to cover. And when I think about it, it may be good that this all went on forever because I wanted you to really experience what it has been like for our boys. Winter quarter was even more neverending for them than it was for you! I mean look at what they had to look forward to, live Seblaine lovey-dovey and the return of shirtlessness (oh, I guess you guys have been looking forward to that, too...and more, huh?)!_
> 
> _I absolutely promise that spring break begins in the next chapter (I've already drafted the Seblaine reunion scene). Oh, and be assured spring quarter won't last as long as winter quarter, nor will sophomore year (freshman year for Blaine). It's not the plan for this fic to be 93 chapters!_
> 
> _Anyway, we hope you enjoy. Please take notes on what you like/don't like/want more of and any suggestions you have, we want to hear them!_
> 
> _Kudos, as always to the team of Dori, Rose, Cristina, Thomas and Teresa!_
> 
> * * *

"Hello, sweetheart! What a lovely surprise!"

"Hi Mom," sniffed Blaine. "I'm just calling to say hi. I've got a bad cold and whenever I get this sick I want my mom, " he said with a small smile.

"Oh, poor darling. Is it very bad? I wish I could be there with you."

"No it's not terrible, it's just bad enough to make me miss my bed at home and your tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches." Blaine coughed and smiled wistfully. "I caught it Saturday in London when I was there for auditions. It got worse yesterday and then I missed the last train so I was stuck by myself, but then Sebastian texted around and figured out that one of my old glee club friends lives in London now. Rory showed up at my youth hostel and took me to his roommate's house and they took care of me. I slept 12 hours and I feel quite a bit better. I'm on the train back to Edinburgh."

"Oh that's lovely how that worked out. Getting sick while you're travelling is no fun. I'm so glad Sebastian found people to help you. He certainly takes good care of you," Mrs. Anderson said with a fond smile.

"Yes, he does…" Blaine sounded troubled. "But…"

"But?" Mrs. Anderson prompted. "What's wrong with him taking good care of you, dear?"

Blaine's brow furrowed. "It's just…I woke up this morning and I had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I'm of course grateful for what he did yesterday, but this morning it also felt like an extreme example of yet another way Sebastian takes care of me these days, while I don't do much for him in return."

Mrs. Anderson looked concerned, but didn't say anything.

"You see, he's gotten really insanely busy with school and recruiting and lacrosse and glee club lately and his emails and calls have gotten shorter and shorter. They are mostly about reassuring me and helping me through all the audition stress in my life lately. I have to admit that I kind of feed into it though, I'm so grateful because he really has been amazing...definitely my rock, my support, my greatest encouragement.

"But meanwhile, he's heading into interviews and finals and meetings with McKinsey executives and he doesn't need any reassurance. W hile he knows every detail of my life, I don't feel very connected with his. He doesn't really give me a chance to. He usually only gives me a quick laundry list of things he has to do, then just says he's stressed about doing it and then hangs up and runs off to do it all. I feel like I'm not doing much for him."

"Oh darling, I'm sure he feels like you help him."

Blaine stood up to look out the window between train cars. "It doesn't feel like it. Mostly it feels like I need him more than he needs me. I am the needier one…AGAIN ." He flinched and added bitterly, "First with Kurt, now with Seb."

Mrs. Anderson shook her head and said earnestly, "Now dear, I wouldn't be so sure about that. You didn't share what the entire situation was with Kurt, but I suspect Sebastian is needier than you think. I watched him over Christmas, he's quite sensitive. And I saw the comfort he gets from you, the way he would shyly enjoy it if you said something sweet to him, or even if you would just pat his shoulder or arm."

Blaine's stared out the window at the flying landscape, recalling Sebastian's calm, grateful green eyes on Christmas Eve.

"I've told you that Sebastian reminds me of your father when he was younger, going full speed in school and his career, taking on more than he can chew. I suspect Sebastian needs much more help than he may appear to right now. Don't be afraid to push him a little harder to let you in a bit and to let you help him. You'd be surprised how much you can help him by just listening to him, so he doesn't feel so alone."

Mrs. Anderson looked thoughtful. "The funny thing about people like that is that they often don't even know they need someone to listen to them. They go and go and go, thinking they can do it all by themselves. But every once in awhile they erupt like little volcanoes and to let out all the stress and find that they could really use someone to hear all about their fears and worries. I used to call your grandmother and tell her, " My Vesuvius just erupted, mom. I can't talk tonight, I'll be dealing with the lava until morning."

Blaine chuckled. "Vesuvius?"

Mrs. Anderson continued without answering, wearing a small smile. "And as for you missing him more? Take it from me, men like Sebastian and your father act all independent as they storm the planet leading enterprises and winning competitions; but I think they need a partner more than less ambitious men do. They may be tough and can take care of others in all kinds of situations, but they aren't skilled at taking care of themselves emotionally. Your dad follows me with his newspaper from room to room around the house when he's home, have you ever noticed that? Sometimes I have to tell him, 'I'm just going to the kitchen to fix a snack, I'll be right back - don't go anywhere." She chuckled, "I don't tease him about it because it would hurt his ego to be compared to a puppy."

"Aww…" Blaine chuckled, looking touched. "I never thought about Dad that way."

Mrs. Anderson twinkled. "And you know what? I noticed over Christmas that Sebastian does the same thing to you."

Blaine lips curved into a smile as he thought back to that happier time. "I guess he did."

"Anyway, I've found that the only thing to do is to encourage balanced communication, so things don't feel so lopsided when you're both under stress. But you might need to be patient at first with Sebastian, he's still young. And certainly don't blame yourself for it. There is nothing wrong with accepting his support. And when he doesn't have time to give, you will learn to find help elsewhere: from us, your other friends, and within yourself. I know you have plenty of inner strength - I'm impressed by it ."

Blaine warmed at his mother's words. He replied with a sigh, "But even if I feel strong enough to handle the stress and loneliness in my life on my own, I still miss him."

"Well of course, darling. But hopefully in time you'll trust more that he'll be back following you around like a puppy soon enough after the inevitable stressful periods are over."

Blaine smiled at the image. "I guess he will." He paused to blow his nose and he felt a wave of love. "Mom, thank you so much - you're amazing. I'll definitely talk to him about all this when things calm down for him."

"Anytime, dear. I'm glad your mom can still help you even now that you're a grown man. It's lovely we can talk about such things...it's a bit of a change for us isn't?" She went on without needing an answer. "And now that I'm caught up on you a bit, can we talk about Cooper? I need your help talking him out of getting plastic surgery ..."

* * *

_SEB: Feeling any better?_

_BLAINE: Significantly. But I am skipping the pub tonight to get to bed early and get this virus completely out of my system. It's good to be home._

_SEB: Good idea. Okay, I gotta run to my case competition meeting and then I am meeting with some Mixed Company guys to prep for my start-up interviews tomorrow. Will try to text you more later._

_BLAINE: Okay. Hang in there, and let me know how they go – I hope it's not stressing you out too much. Call me if you want to vent or whatever._

_SEB: Thanks, ok. I'm sorry I really have to go now._

_BLAINE: Okay. I miss you. Bye._

_SEB: Miss you too, bye._

Blaine sighed, rolled his eyes, and shoved his phone in his pocket before he headed back to his dorm.

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_

_From: Blaine Anderson_

_Date: March 4, 2014_

_Subject:_ _Sending good interview vibes from Scotland_

_Hi you,_

_First things first, good luck with interviews today! From what I've read about Silicon Valley start-ups, I imagine that your mentors have told you to skip the tie and to wear khakis. I bet that's torturing you...I know you love wearing a good suit. I don't blame you, you look beautiful in them. Hang in there, baby – you'll get to wear one for the banking and consulting interviews. But for today let me guess, you are planning to wear one of your white Thomas Pink shirts and your favorite gray-blue Burberry chinos - immaculately pressed by some overpriced Stanford dry cleaner :). And you'll wear your hair in your classic Dalton coif. You'll look so handsome that I pity the interviewer if it's a woman or a gay man – how will they be able to concentrate? ; ) Anyway it doesn't matter what you wear, you and your big brain and eloquence and your charming manners would make it to second round interviews even if you had to wear the old raggedy Dalton hoodie and Kurt's hippo brooch LOL._

_Nothing too exciting here, Sam's first deadline is on Thursday so he's still pretty much living at Liam and Scott's. As for me, I'm just trying to get rid of the last bit of the cold. I've also been working on my final paper for my playreading class. I'm actually finding it really interesting, thinking about themes across the entire quarter's works. I'd like to talk to you about all of it over spring break. Oh, Florida…I might have to sit down and write a song about how I'm longing for Florida._

_I'm not doing any performance practice until my cold is finally over but I'm not really worried about my final performances in my dance class or Singing for Musical Theatre. But Oliver came over with soup today and I helped him with his dancing. He also gave me some general notes he had from his last lesson with that famous voice coach._

_The biggest excitement around school is Mr. Billson's West End agent friend's workshop which is schoolwide all day Thursday. We're supposed to do an audition song, so I'm doing 'Something's Coming' and he'll be providing critique. They say that last year he even signed a few students for his agency, which would be an amazing opportunity because (1) they are very discerning about who they sign and (2) they have helped many actors become very successful in the West End. I don't think I want an West End agent because I would prefer to work in America, but it would be nice to be asked._

_Well, I don't want to take up too much of your time by going on and on in a long email, plus I'd better get to bed, so I'll sign off here. Hopefully this has provided your mind a quick study break. Do keep me posted if you can snatch time away - call me if you want to vent, even in the middle of the night or whatever. I know this is a crazy time and I want to be there for you just like you've been there for me lately. And I can't wait to hear how interviews go. Break a leg! Miss you._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

* * *

_To: Blaine Anderson_

_From: Sebastian Smythe_

_Date: March 4, 2014_

_Subject: Re: Sending good interview vibes from Scotland_

_B:_

_Glad you are knocking that cold out. Other than that, it sounds like everything else is humming along for you – I'm envious. My existence feels entirely out of control, but I'm clutching the edge and holding on._

_Looking forward to talking about plays with you over margaritas in Florida - bring your favorites, I haven't read many outside of Shakespeare and the ones I've performed. It's good Sam is going to be around more soon. Getting notes from a West End agent will be instructive for you. I'd bet money he will want to sign you. What an unfortunate situation for that agent - he will feel teased by getting a taste of the brilliance that is Blaine Anderson, only to hear you're going back to the enemy. I know what that feels like...But go knock it out of the park, I know you can._

_Sorry I have to go, off to practice and last minute recruiting prep for the start-up interviews this afternoon, and more of it for Netflix, Booz and Bain tomorrow. Will try to check in at the end of the day, but then have to get going on my final papers. And I don't know when the hell I'm going to finish prepping for Google/Goldman/Apple on Thursday, because tomorrow looks bad. Oh shit, somewhere in there I have to double check the AV crap for the McKinsey speaker on Thursday. If it doesn't come off, I'm going to look like a grade A idiot._

_I know these emails continue to suck, actually I know they really are getting worse. but I have to go, I'm late already to my next meeting. I promise to be more interesting in Florida. Miss you, too._

_S_

* * *

_To: Sebastian Smythe_

_From: Blaine Anderson_

_Date: March 6, 2014_

_Subject: I hate it when you're right_

_Seb,_

_Okay I have something that will hopefully make you laugh during your stressful times right now. You were right. There is no other way to put it. That Oliver guy? More than suspect. Guess what happened at the West End agent's workshop today? I'm pretty sure Oliver made sure he was one of the first people to sign up for a slot, because guess what he sang for his audition song before I went up? 'Something's Coming' - can you believe that?!_

_Afterwards I asked him about it and he said innocently, "Oh were you planning to sing that today? I thought you and I talked about you doing a new audition song. I'm so sorry! I think it would be fine if you sang it, too."_

_I was totally thrown at first, but I kept it together and I ended up singing 'Beauty School Dropout' on the fly. It would have been fine, except that my 'friend' also screwed me over with his little singing 'tips'! Everything he told me to do, the West End agent gave me notes NOT to do. He had been saying I was singing sharp? The agent said I was singing flat. On my dancing while singing, I ended up straddling your advice to leave it the same and Oliver's stupid advice to barely move at all. So of course the agent told me I seemed stiff. Mr. Billson was looking at me like I had three heads, I know he was wondering why I was performing so much worse than I have been all quarter._

_So needless to say, I'm going to steer clear of Oliver for sure from here on out, and watch my back. I talked to Maury about it and he said he would keep an eye out, too. He and I are going to talk more about it next week, he had to go home for a long weekend for a family thing._

_Sorry to go on so long about this, but I knew you would want to know that yes, you can say "I told you so" from the rooftops. I hate it when you're right! :O_

_What a crazy thing to happen right before my UCLA and Tisch phone interviews tomorrow. Given your grand slam success on Tuesday (you should have heard me yell when I got your text, my neighbor said he heard me across the hall), I think you'd better send back some of your good interview mojo to me._

_Some of my friends here are hearing back from American degree programs they are applying to. They are getting into great programs in London and Boston, my friend Kate got into Michigan and Elon, my friend Bobby got into CCM. I wonder if I should have applied to more schools? I'll probably be fine, but I can't help but wish I had a 'yes' letter in my hot little hands._

_Speaking of yes' and no's, I got the official rejections from the London shows I auditioned for with my cold this past weekend. They understood that I had a cold and said it was hard to judge my talent with that. I was kind of hoping they would have at least have good feedback about my dancing. But Mr. Billson says they never give positive feedback, at least not in these quick notes they send him. He says we're lucky to get the feedback at all. Oh well._

_How did your Netflix, Bain and Booz interviews go? What kind of name is Booz for a company? And how did you feel about the start-up interviews? Did you like the people, did you get to ask them any questions? Are you feeling pumped going into your next interviews?_

_And let me know how the McKinsey speaker event goes. I'm sure with all your work they know who you are and have been impressed by you. That was the point of all of that hustling, right?_

_Sorry if this is too many questions. I just want to check in and make sure you're okay. No need to answer them all or even write if it's too crazy. We can catch up over the weekend. But call me if you need me, even if it's a weird time over here, okay?_

_Good luck with today's interviews (if you haven't had them yet, not sure when you'll have time to read this today). And good luck with your Friday ones - not that you'll need it. I know you will be so happy when this week is over. And to celebrate, you get to see Coop, Tina and Nick on Saturday night! I'm so envious about that, and that you get to play at UCLA – that campus is so beautiful._

_Okay, I'm cutting this off so you can get back to one of your trillion things on your to-do list. Miss you, like always. Can't wait for Florida. T minus 2.5 weeks !_

_XOXO_

_Blaine_

* * *

Blaine was climbing into bed when his phone rang. He looked worried as he answered. "Hey you…how are"

Sebastian interrupted, sounding anxious and tired. "Blaine, are you okay?"

Blaine sighed. "Why do all our conversations lately start with 'Blaine, are you okay?'"

Sebastian was baffled for a second. His brow furrowed and he ran a hand through his hair as he trudged across campus toward his dorm. He answered with frustration, "I don't know, I just…"

Blaine felt a twinge of guilt. "I'm sorry, Seb - I'm about to go to bed and I guess I'm tired and grumpy. I should have just said, 'Yes, I'm fine.'"

"Are you sure you're okay? I want to throttle that sneaky little shit who stole your audition song," Sebastian growled.

Blaine smiled softly. "Seb, _that's_ why you're calling?"

Sebastian was puzzled by Blaine's amused tone. "Well, yeah. Your email said that you were really thrown…"

Blaine let an awkward silence pass.

Sebastian's brow was furrowed as he added, "And...I also wanted to call because of what your prof and that agent said...and well, your interviews are tomorrow and...I figured since you got those London rejections...and your friends got into those schools...and...well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he faltered lamely.

Blaine's heart was touched even as he was somewhat vexed. "Seb, you didn't need to call. If I needed you, I would have called, like I did at my UCLA audition. I'm fine. Really. I've dealt with worse bullies than Oliver before." _Like you,_ Blaine smirked to himself .

Sebastian looked fierce. "Okay, well just keep your eye on that rat. Every time you talk to him, think about what I would do or say. Or maybe what Hummel would do . Don't concede him a goddamn inch."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "You and Kurt think you have cornered the market on snark and schooling bullies. I'm going to be fine, Seb. You forget I have a better right hook than you do. But I promise I will come to you when I need advice on how to bring any nasty retorts I need to sling to another level." He took a deep breath. "But we don't have time for this, Beautiful. You're in the middle of your crazy busy day - you didn't need to interrupt it for this. Go back to your stuff. You have what, three interviews today? And your McKinsey speaker thing and probably 27 other things I don't even know about today. Are YOU okay?"

Sebastian still looked worried. "I'm surviving, though I was up until 3:30 last night on my last Physics lab report last night and prepping for interviews. But can we get back to you? Are you doing okay about interviews tomorrow? You know they are going to love you, right? Even over the phone they won't be able to resist you. Do you have notes with the different stories you can tell and all your research on the school printed out to hang all over your wall while you're on the phone with them? You got that Stanford career center template I sent you to use, right? You're lucky you can do phone interviews and read from your notes. Make sure you tell UCLA that you know Tina and NYADA that you know Hummel and Berry. That way they know you really understand the school outside the brochures. And about that workshop thing...you know that what the agent or even your professor thinks doesn't really matter in the big picture, right? And Sam's deadline is today, right? So he's going to be home for you more?"

"Seb," Blaine said gently. "Stop. Listen to me. I'm fine. Can you stop worrying about me for a second and talk to me about you for a minute? Because I'll be honest, I'm kind of worried about you. Tell me more about how you are doing."

Sebastian's brow furrowed. "I'm fine. I just have so much to do. I just...I actually should go. I'm glad you're okay, I just wanted to be sure, but yeah I should run, you're right that I have 57 things to do today." He took a deep breath and his speech came out in a flood as he scrolled through a mental list. "I have a case competition meeting; the club leadership dinner with the McKinsey executives _(_ I better get an offer from these people or I'm going to be pissed); and I just got home so I can make a dent on my final papers - I keep pushing them off and I'm starting to have nightmares about them. Plus my grandmother's accountant is bugging me for a call today because he has pressing questions to ask me about her taxes this year. What the hell could have come up with her taxes? Nothing has changed in her living situation in 10 years! And I have to prep for mock interviews tomorrow for 2nd round interviews next week, and…."

Blaine interjected quietly, " Seb, I didn't ask _WHAT_ you are doing, I asked _HOW_ you are doing."

There was a brief silence. Sebastian had reached his bedroom. "Busy. Stressed. I don't even know…" He grumbled unintelligibly as he threw himself into his desk chair and tossed his backpack to the ground.

"It's okay," Blaine said gently. "Just know that whatever it is you're feeling right now, it's going to pass. You are wonderful, you will get through all this, and you're going to be fine. But in the meantime, I think if you talk to me a little bit more about it, you'll feel better. Are you stressed because you're afraid you'll.."

"Blaine, I really don't have time to… "

"Seb, I'm worried you're going to," _erupt like volcano,_ Blaine thought. "I'm worried you're going to lose it. I hope you don't, but if you do, I'm thinking that I really should be the one to witness it, not some interviewer or something, so let's kinda work through it together as much as we can in between stuff on your to do list, okay?"

"B, I seriously don't have time, I have got to go or I'm gonna…"

Blaine ignored him and continued earnestly. "Seb, you sound so wound up everytime I hear from you lately. You're rushing here and there and everywhere and I can barely connect with you to make sure you're okay. I just want to help you maybe pace yourself so you make it to the finish line. You still have almost two and half weeks to go."

Sebastian snapped, "Blaine, I _know_ how much longer I have to go! Believe me, I'm counting the seconds before I can get on that airplane to you. I know what I'm doing - I'll be fine as long as I don't let up. You just don't understand, I don't have time to slow down and pace myself. This is like a friggin' 3200 meter sprint and I've got to keep going until I get through finals week or I will fail. Completely. At everything. You don't understand what it's like on this campus, just let me go. Just fucking let me go."

Blaine was quiet. _Vesuvius_.

Sebastian heard his own voice echo through the apartment, and the deafening silence on the other end of the line. He caught sight of the RC hoodie from Blaine, crumpled on the floor next to his bed. He covered his eyes with one hand and whispered, "B, I'm so sorry. I should have...I'm such an asshole. That was shitty of me to say. I shouldn't have snapped at you...I'm sorry."

[](http://imgur.com/emuDJlJ)

He ran his fingers through his hair and stood up out of the chair to look out the window. "And I'm sorry if I haven't had as much time for you as I did earlier in the quarter. And I'm sorry my letters to you lately have been crap. I'm really sorry about that, I just..."

He kicked his backpack violently and continued in a frustrated and exhausted voice, growing increasingly angry at himself as he searched for the right words. "Oh fuck, I have no excuse, B. I'm sorry I have…that I don't know how to…I'm not being…ugh, you deserve better. I'm really, really sorry. I don't know how I let it get so fucked up...I never wanted to neglect you...you're the most important person on my goddamned to do list and…" His voice finally broke and he held back tears. "And I can't believe I've screwed it all up with you..."

Blaine interjected to soothe him. "Seb, you haven't screwed it all up. And I never said you neglected me. Where is that coming from? You're emailing me and certainly calling me far more than I would expect you to, given what's on your plate." Blaine stopped, biting his lip. There was more to say, but this wasn't the time.

"Fuck, Blaine…" Sebastian almost...whimpered? But Sebastian Smythe would never whimper. Or could he? Whatever it was, he sounded more exhausted than Blaine had ever heard him on a call. And that was really saying something.

Blaine said quietly and lovingly, "It's okay, baby. You're going to be okay. We're going to be okay. You know why? 'Cause we're Seb and Blaine ."

Sebastian crashed down on his bed. "I don't fucking deserve you. And I'm so fucking tired. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels or on a gerbil wheel or whatever the hell the analogy is. All the wheels have come off, and the goddamned gerbil has crashed into the side of the cage and passed out. AGAIN, just like the last failure of a quarter, I am working my ass off and I can't get it all done. At least not well." He closed his eyes and looked pained. "How could I have fucked this up again? What the hell was I thinking? I took four classes during internship recruiting season AND lacrosse season AND while it's still competition season for Mixed Company. And it's too late to drop a class so there is nothing I can do now. What kind of an idiot am I? My dad was right…I'm an idiot...and there's NOTHING I can do about it now ..."

"Stop it." Blaine interrupted firmly. "Your dad is the one who is the idiot and you know that when you're not this tired. You thought it would be fine because those upperclassmen said those courses they recommended to you wouldn't be so bad. And you didn't know how hard recruiting and all that travel for lacrosse was going to make things. You're a freshman, it's okay to still be learning about how to operate on that campus. I'm sure everyone else around you is doing the same thing, in their own way."

Sebastian started to rev up again. "No Blaine, you should see everyone else - Jay is just walking around swooning over Derek the Douche, Thomas doesn't seem stressed at all, Roger is only taking three classes like a normal person…"

He sat up in bed. "Seb, stop. Take a really deep breath. I want to feel it blow through my hair on the phone."

Sebastian took the deepest breath he had taken in weeks. Maybe months. "Okay."

"You are ten times more ambitious than all of those guys combined. And that's what makes you great. But remember what you and my dad talked about over Christmas when you were discussing entrepreneurship? All the greats failed a little, if not a lot, at first.

"And you aren't even going to really fail here. You have been doing fine so far. You did well enough on your midterms. You got all those callbacks, or whatever you guys call it when you get called back for second round interviews. Now next week with second round interviews and finals even closer, it is going to be even crazier if you keep this up.

"But, there IS something you can do. Cancel some of interviews with those 'back up' companies you are interviewing with. Leave yourself McKinsey and one of the other two consulting companies, Google, Apple, your two favorite banks, and one or two of your favorite of the startups. I didn't say anything earlier because I wasn't sure, but hearing you now makes me absolutely certain that interviewing for twelve companies is too much. I would put money down that you will get a minimum of 5 offers out of the seven or eight companies left.

"And you only need one. And remember, this is the internship for the summer after your freshman year, Seb - you're not interviewing to get a job to pay your mortgage and feed your children."

Sebastian was silent.

Blaine continued quietly and steadily. "You have to do this, Seb. You're going to be fine. Let me guess, you moved on to second rounds with Bain and Netflix and that Booz one, right?"

"Yes," Sebastian admitted, looking doubtful. "Booz Allen Hamilton. It's a strategy and technology consulting firm. They were kind of weird."

"BINGO," said Blaine triumphantly. "I'm glad you recognized that something was off there. You should be eliminating firms that don't feel like the right fit, just like they are eliminating students they don't like. Don't waste your time interviewing just because you're afraid you won't get any other offers. You're obviously going to get other offers, my charming brainiac boy ."

Sebastian said without conviction, "I guess I could drop Netflix and maybe that green website start-up."

"Yes, you can. And a few others."

"I guess..."

"Yes, you have to, Seb. Baby, promise me you WILL."

"Uhhh…" Sebastian was still trying to process.

Blaine said forcefully, "Just say it. 'Yes I will , Blaine.'"

Sebastian responded slowly. "Okay. Okay."

"Good boy. Now you can nap."

"What?" Sebastian squinted up at the lighting fixture above his bed.

"If you drop four companies to mock interview for and prep for and research next week, you'll have a heck of a lot more time to work on your papers next week. You just earned yourself a half hour nap. If you don't, you're going not have any energy to charm the McKinsey people over dinner tonight."

Sebastian rolled over on his side and buried half of his face deeply in the pillow. "Okay...thank you babe," he said, with what, if Blaine didn't know better, would have definitely have sounded like a whimper.

"You're very welcome," Blaine smiled warmly. "It's the least I can do, you have been such a lifesaver the last couple of weeks, between UCLA and getting Rory to come. Oh, by the way I texted Santana to thank her and she and I were having the most hilarious textversation about you at a Harry Potter convention. I could tell she wishes you were spending spring break in New York, because she landed a short term filler role in an off-Broadway production. They are getting a more experienced actress for the role but they needed someone to do the part for a few weeks until the new actress is available. I think she'd like you there in the audience because she knows you'd give her brutally honest feedback on her performance. We also got to talking about this summer…" Blaine trailed off as he glimpsed his clock. "Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't rattle on, you probably want to just start that nap. Do you want me to sing you a lullaby?"

Blaine heard a snort. "Seb?"

Sebastian fumbled around for the phone. "Huh? Sorry, I dozed off."

* * *

[](http://imgur.com/63X2rF5)

Nick and Tina found Cooper standing near the bar of the chic poolside patio of the W Hotel in UCLA's Westwood neighborhood. After twenty minutes of sipping drinks he bought and making polite chit chat, Cooper was wondering whether crossing town for this was a good idea. He barely knew Nick and had only interacted with Tina and Sebastian when Blaine was around. But Blaine had never been one to ask much from his brother, and he sounded so happy in his email about Cooper meeting up with Sebastian and his friends. Cooper didn't have the heart to cancel.

"This is a cute part of town," he said, "Last time I was here I went with a buddy just across the street to that bar," he pointed through the palm trees to a festive looking bar and grill. "They had one of those trivia nights going on. The UCLA nerds were so competitive, it was funny."

"Hey, there's Sebastian…" Nick pointed out a tall figure across the hotel swimming pool from them. "At least I think, that's him." They all squinted. Sebastian raised a hand at them from across the way and slowly came towards them.

"He looks like crap," Cooper voiced what they all were thinking. "What the hell happened to him?"

"Blaine says he's been doing a bunch of stuff to kiss up to big companies that are hiring for summer interns," Tina remarked.

"And it's lacrosse season, he's co-leading a glee club, and finals are around the corner," Nick added.

As Sebastian drew closer it was clear that he was indeed haggard. His hair was not very well coiffed, his clothes were not as meticulously appointed as usual, and he seemed pale.

Cooper launched into him with his usual overwhelming hug, nearly knocking Sebastian over. Sebastian smirked, patting him on the back with amusement.

Nick was surprised at how heartily Sebastian embraced him. As they separated Sebastian's tired eyes said: "I'm fucking exhausted. It's good to see someone from home."

Sebastian and Tina had graduated from polite smiles to ones that were just a little too wide to be natural. Their awkward hugging, on the other hand, had unfortunately not changed at all. " _Tina and Seb were trying so hard to be nice to each other, it was creepy._ " Nick texted to Sam later.

"Sit down, sit down, Stanford man!" Cooper chirped. "I got you a Glenfiddich neat."

"Your father would be proud of you," Sebastian said gratefully, taking the scotch and feeling his spirits rise a bit. It had been awhile since he'd had a good, stiff drink. "Sorry I'm late, I was stuck with the team at dinner. Our Coach insists we always eat together after games to debrief and bond. But damn I've had enough bonding with those guys for a lifetime. Sure, they do feel like brothers now, but like brothers I've been trapped in the house with for too many hours." He looked at Nick. "You know what I mean."

"Like the Warblers on the bus ride to Kentucky," Nick laughed.

Sebastian shook his head but had to chuckle. "Between Jeff hyped up on pixie sticks and Meatbox's snoring, I was seriously considering strapping myself on the roof of the bus just to get away from them."

They all laughed, Tina too loudly. Looking at her, Cooper hailed the cocktail waitress. "Another round, please."

Sebastian had already downed his scotch. "Make mine a double."

* * *

A few rounds of drinks later, everyone was looser and more chatty. Sebastian came back from the men's room to find Nick and Tina arguing while Cooper laughed at them.

"Absolutely true," Tina said triumphantly, with a teasing smile.

"That's SO not true!" cried Nick.

"What?" Sebastian asked as he sat down.

Tina smirked. "He's just mad because it's Saturday, so I know he's wearing boxer briefs. Blaine told me that he and some of the Dalton boys made a pact to always wear boxer briefs on Saturdays because it's date night."

Nick rolled his eyes and huffed again. Sebastian's eyebrows raised and for Blaine's sake, he refrained from making a Vaporape joke. It was too predictable, anyway.

Cooper chortled, "So Sebby, do you follow this underwear protocol, too?!"

"Don't call me that, Chicken Coop." Sebastian said with a challenging look in his eye. Then he winked at the group to say, "And no, no one dictates what goes on my ass but me."

" And Blaine," Cooper teased in an undertone .

Sebastian gave him a death glare and Cooper smiled innocently back at him and whispered. "What? It's not like everyone here doesn't know about you and Blaine."

Sebastian hissed, "If Duvall knew, he would have been nagging me about proposing to Blaine by now."

Cooper conceded with a nod and a not-at-all-apologetic grin.

Nick crossed his arms and gave Tina a cocky smile. "I just can't believe you think you know Blaine better than I do. We practically _created_ Blaine at Dalton. I've known him longer than you _and_ we used to have an actually successful version of your little 'senior lock-in' on a weekly basis at Dalton. Of course I know him better than you do. I know the REAL Blaine."

Tina replied, "There is no way you know him better than I do. For instance, do you know that Blaine has to answer and delete emails in his inbox until the number of unanswered ones remaining is a multiple of 5?"

"Sure," bluffed Nick.

"So like 5, 10, 15? What is that about?" chuckled Cooper.

Tina didn't bother answering. "And gentlemen, I believe if we called Sam right now," she peeked at her phone for the time and date, "he would confirm that Blaine is coming back from the gym in exactly 4 minutes from right now."

Nick shook his head. "Whatever…"

Sebastian chuckled and Cooper grabbed Tina's phone and started dialing from her Skype app.

"Coop, what are you doing?" Nick protested. "Don't wake up Sam, in Scotland it's so early, it's like..."

"6:25 AM," supplied Sebastian, after smirking and looking at his watch from Blaine .

Cooper had the phone on speaker and they all heard Sam answer groggily, "Teeena? Why you cawlling so uhw-wly? I sent you my Vine thisss week, din't I? " They could hear him snorting and the rustle of bedsheets .

[](http://imgur.com/SMR8DAY)

"Sorry to wake you, man…" Nick apologized.

"I had nothing to do with this, Sammy." Sebastian added.

"Sam! Is Blaine back from the gym yet?" Tina demanded.

Sam was rubbing his eyes and sitting up as he took in the clamor of familiar voices. "What? Wait a minute, where are you, Tina? Was that…Seb?!"

Tina replied in her matter of fact tone, "Yes. I'm out having drinks with Sebastian, Nick Duvall, and Cooper Anderson. Sebastian's in town for a lacrosse game against UCLA. Now answer me, is Blaine back from the gym?"

Sam narrowed his eyes and peered at the clock. "Maybe? Or he should be home anytime now. Why?"

"We're just settling a little argument," Cooper drawled. "Could you do us a favor and go have a look?"

They heard Sam obligingly get out of bed and open his bedroom door. It sounded like he brought the phone with him.

"Sam's a good guy," Cooper remarked, earning acknowledgement from the rest of the table.

Tina looked at her watch. "And 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

They heard the front door open. "Good Morning!" they heard Blaine say, striding toward the bathroom. "Who are you on the phone with so early?"

"Uh, Tina…" Sam answered, stretching one arm out wide.

"Oh, give her my love! I'm gonna hop in the shower." They heard the bathroom door shut.

Sam smiled. "So there you have it. Now, who was arguing?"

"Nick and Tina," chuckled Cooper.

Nick crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "I'm _so_ not impressed. Getting back by 6:30 to take a shower and have breakfast before an 8AM class. Anyone could have guessed that. And we all know Blaine runs like a swiss watch."

"Oh yeah?" Tina said with a self satisfied smile as she sipped her vodka cranberry. "Sam, Blaine was carrying a V8 and a magazine, wasn't he?"

"How did you know that?" Sam asked, puzzled.

"I know that because I know him better than Nick does!" Tina chirped. "And twenty bucks says that I can name the magazine AND the number of articles Blaine has dogeared!"

Nick smirked back her. "I'll give you fifty if you can name the sections of the magazine he dog eared."

"Oooohhh…" Cooper smiled slyly. "Challenge extended!"

"Take the bet! Take the bet!" Sam said excitedly.

Tina nodded.

"Challenge accepted!" Cooper said dramatically.

"The Advocate!" Tina said triumphantly.

"Hang on, let me see." Sam walked over to the coffee table where Blaine tossed it. "Oh my god, she's right…The Advocate!"

"Nailed it!" Cooper hooted. He high-fived Tina.

Sebastian put his hands behind his head and smirked.

"What, Smirky Smythe?" Tina asked, looking saucy. "What are you looking so smug about now?"

Sebastian winked at her and smirked again. "Excuse me if I'm not doing backflips, My Fair Lady. But Blaine only subscribes to 5 magazines. The odds were pretty good for you."

Tina rolled her eyes. "Sam, there are a minimum of four articles dog eared, yes?" she asked smugly.

Sam counted, "Uh...1, 2, 3…4…5!"

Nick piped up, "Oh come on, Tina. 'A minimum of four' is a weak guess. You should have nailed a hard number."

"Oh brother," Tina laughed. "Okay, I'll bet Sebastian twenty bucks I can guess how many of the five articles are from the entertainment section!"

"Challenge extended!" Cooper clapped his hands.

Sebastian smirked. "Still pretty good odds, Lady Cohen-Chang. But sure, I'll humor you."

"Challenge accepted!" Cooper grinned.

Sebastian gave him an annoyed look. "Gag order extended." Cooper chuckled and clapped him on the back.

Tina laughed before saying grandly, "Two are from the entertainment section!"

"That's right, two!" Sam said in amazed voice. "Tina, you're awesome!"

Tina stood up and bounced up and down behind Sebastian, putting her hands on his shoulders and taunting in either ear. "Okay, Captain Warbler! I won! Pay up, Pretty Boy! Hand it over! Gimmee!"

Sebastian gave her a cool, indulgent smile as he opened his wallet and pulled out a fifty. "Here you go, keep the change, Vodka Princess . Go buy yourself something pretty."

Nick's lower lip was sticking out. "That does not mean you know him better! I want a rematch! And none of these random magazine questions. Real PERSONAL questions. And the winner gets a hundred dollars!"

"A hundred?" Tina hesitated.

"What, are ya scared?" Cooper egged her on, grinning.

"No way, I'm not scared of Nicky!" Tina laughed.

"Are ya sure?" Nick smiled at her wickedly. "Cause I wouldn't want to take advantage of a _guurl_ …"

"Oh dude, don't anger It…" Sam murmured through the speakerphone.

"Too late…" Sebastian remarked in an undertone.

"Nick Warbler, you are living up to your white boy prep school stereotype!" Tina said, with what was indeed a fire building in her eye. "I could beat you AND Sebastian _combined_ at this game with my hands tied behind my back ."

Nick's smile grew wider but Sebastian shook his head. "Now that would be unfair advantage, Duvall. It really would be unwarranted aggression against…"

Tina gave him a challenging look.

He nodded with gratuitous respect. "Against an otherwise worthy opponent."

"Fine," Nick chuckled. "How about you and I versus Tina and Sam?"

"Yes!" Sam piped up over the phone, "I wanna play, I wanna play! I know everything about Blaine!"

"I don't know Talking Tina ," Sebastian chuckled. "I thought you wanted the teams to be more even. Taking Sammy might actually give you a handicap."

"Hey!" Sam said.

"He LIVES with Blaine!" Nick argued with Sebastian.

"He also didn't know if he was at the gym, what magazine he was reading, or…" Sebastian leaned closer to the phone, "Sam, what day is it today?"

"Uh...Saturday? I think? Let me check my phone..."

Sebastian smirked. "It's okay, Sammy…"

"He'll do fine," Tina said darkly. "We are taking you Dalton boys down."

Nick looked apprehensively at Sebastian, who nodded his head reassuringly. "Okay," said Nick. "So do we make up questions for each other?"

Cooper tapped the table with the palm of his hand to get their attention, "Ahem! You can't make up the questions for each other…just like at that bar across the street, you need a trivia master. And there is no one, no one I tell you, who knows more personal stuff about my little brother than me."

Sam, Tina and Nick responded appreciatively and hooted their excitement.

Sebastian chuckled and shook his head. "I'm gonna need another drink, because I need to be able to tell Blaine I was really hammered when I agreed to do this…"

* * *

Cooper was excited. "Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team to answer the most questions, wins. The categories are:

1)'Fears and Pet Peeves,'

2) 'Ancient History'

3) 'Literature,' and

4) 'It's All Relative'!"

"So, the exact categories they used when they did this on _Friends,_ "remarked Sebastian dryly. "Very creative, Coop."

Cooper didn't deign to answer. "Okay, shall we toss a coin to see who goes first?"

"No, ladies first." Sebastian said, with a patronizing gesture.

"Hey!" Sam said through the phone. "Lady and gentleman!"

Sebastian smirked and leaned toward the phone. "I don't know, Pom-Pom Patty. I heard about you in a Lady Cheerios uniform...and when we were in Utah last year, I saw you checking me out when I was shirtless and dripping wet at the pool…"

"That uniform was a joke! And I was not checking you out!" Sam yelped as Nick and Cooper started guffawing. "I was watching Blaine watch you! Tell 'em, Nick!"

Nick smirked, "Hey Seb's on my team, Lady…and in Utah, I'm not sure I _didn't_ see a sparkle in your eye…"

"NICK!"

"Ahem! People! Let's focus! I have an early yoga class tomorrow!" Tina rolled her eyes.

Cooper smiled as he looked down at the legal pad he had borrowed from the concierge. "Okay, Lady Cohen-Chang and LORD Evans…"

"Thank you very much," Sam sniffed.

"Pick your category."

"Fears and Pet Peeves!" said Tina tensely, swigging her drink.

"Very well, we'll start out with the basic question first: What is Blaine's biggest pet peeve?"

"Guys with nail polish," Sam answered quickly and immediately. Tina was nodding in agreement.

"That's correct," answered Cooper intensely.

"YES!" Tina fistpumped the air.

"Maybe slow down on the vodka, baby girl?" chuckled Sebastian.

Tina scoffed at him. Sebastian raised an eyebrow and gave her a cocky smile in return.

"Gentlemen?"

"Same category." Nick said seriously.

Cooper sipped from his martini. "According to Blaine, what made him 'jump out of his skin'?"

"The first time he saw Kurt in a cucumber mask!" Nick replied immediately.

"Correct!" Cooper grinned.

"Seriously?" Sebastian laughed louder than Tina had ever heard him laugh. She was surprised that he actually looked…cute, when he was doing that.

"He said he looked like Bug Man from Planet Xenon," chortled Cooper.

Sam was laughing, too. "I gotta say when I moved in with Kurt I had the exact same scare!"

Sebastian was still chuckling. "Blaine never told me about that."

Tina giggled, "Of course he wouldn't tell you that, he isn't going to give you any more ammunition."

Sam said through the phone, "Nick, how did you even know that?"

"You guys forget that when Blaine and Kurt first started dating, they were both boarding at Dalton and had quite a few slumber parties!" Nick said with a grin.

Sebastian's face darkened for a moment before they were rescued by Cooper's next prompt .

"Tina and Sam, your pick…"

"It's All Relative," Sam called through the phone.

"Blaine and I have Jewish cousin. You both went to her bat mitzvah. Name that cousin!"

"Arghhhh!" Tina put her head in hands. "What was her name?!"

Sam asked, "You have a cousin?"

Tina glared at the phone. "YOU ARE USELESS!"

Sam said, "You have a _Jewish_ cousin, Coop?"

"Their Aunt Martha's stepdaughter, shut up!" Tina shouted, holding her head. "What was her name?!"

Sam yelled, "Rachel!"

Tina yelped, "Rachel?! What the hell are you doing, you idiot?! I can't believe you would just yell that out without consulting me! You have to think before you act, Sam, how many times do I have to tell you that?!"

"Rachel is correct!"

"Ooh! I love you, Sam! Sorry!" Tina cried.

Sebastian and Nick laughed.

Cooper pointed at them. "Warblers, your pick…"

Sebastian asked lazily, "What were the categories again?"

Nick smacked him. "Come on 'Bas, take this seriously! I know you use one hundred bills as Kleenex , but I could use one to pay for my girl's birthday flowers!"

Sebastian sat up straighter and gave Nick his best mock choir boy look.

Nick rolled his eyes at him. Then he turned excitedly to Cooper, "We'll take literature!"

Cooper said dramatically, "Blaine was sent to break into the headmaster's office his freshman year at Dalton when he was being hazed by the polo team. What is the title of the book he had to steal?"

"Ooh, Weird Al Yankovic!" Nick shouted back at him. "Weird Al Yankovic!"

"No, you moron." Sebastian said with annoyance as Cooper said ruefully, "I'm afraid the title of the book is " _The Authorized Al_."

"I _knew_ that," Sebastian growled at Nick. "What, is USC rotting your brain?"

Tina giggled, "And Sebastian Smythe doesn't like to lose!" She turned to Nick to taunt, "Especially to a girl!"

* * *

The waitress brought yet another round of drinks to the sole patrons on the patio, where the eldest member of the party was announcing, "The score is now 9 to 8 in favor of Cohevans. Nickbastian, if you miss this, the game is theirs."

"Don't call us that," Sebastian groused, slugging some Jack and Coke.

"Pick your category," Cooper said, waving a dismissive hand at Sebastian.

"IT'S ALL RELATIVE!" hollered Nick, bouncing in his seat.

"You don't have to shout everything," Cooper said, looking slightly horrified.

"SORRY!" shouted Nick again. Sebastian moved Nick's wine glass away from him.

"What is Uncle Willy's username on MySpace?"

"MofoWithMojo," Sebastian said immediately, with satisfaction.

Cooper said with chagrin, "Unfortunately, that is correct."

The Dalton alums gripped hands in victory.

Cooper flipped over a page in his legal pad. "Okay then, the score is tied. Which means…" He stood up and dramatically pushed in his patio chair. "We progress to the LIGHTNING ROUND!"

Nick and Tina bounced in their seats and Sam yelped from the phone.

"30 seconds, all the questions you can answer…" Cooper stood up for dramatic effect.

Sebastian stood up with a smirk and crossed his arms. "Okay, fine. Let's get this done. I gotta get to bed."

"OOOOHHHHH!" Nick and Sam hooted.

"And here I thought he felt this game was beneath him!" Sam yelled.

Nick rubbed his palms together with glee. "My secret weapon! Yes! My boy 'Bas never loses at ANYTHING!"

Tina said with a teasing smile, "Except to Kurt Hummel in high school ."

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow at her as Nick retorted, "He stopped the wedding, didn't he ?"

"Kurt and Blaine made that decision themselves," Tina cried.

Cooper cut in, "Okay, kids – let's get back to our _friendly_ game!"

"Our friendly _bet_ ," Sebastian corrected. "And hey, how about we play for more money? Say $200?"

"$300!" Tina shouted.

"TINA!" Sam scolded. "How much vodka has she had?"

"Four or five," Sebastian supplied. "But with some cranberry."

Nick looked at Sebastian. "Seb, I don't want to lose $300!"

"We won't," Sebastian said calmly. He turned back to Tina. "$400?"

"SEBASTIAN!" Nick stood up to dissent.

"I'm just trying to raise the stakes a little so there's an actual point to all this," Sebastian shrugged. He patted Nick's head and relented. "Fine…" he looked around the patio as he thought about it. "How about…if we win…" His eyes landed on a hotel sign for happy hour. He tapped his lower lip as he pondered. "If we win, Sam has to…" He broke into an amused expression. "Sam has to go shirtless to all the gay bars we go to in Orlando. I got cheated out of that in our negotiation over email..."

Nick clapped his hands with delight, "Ooh that's good!"

"I'm not done…" Sebastian held up his hand. "And he has to let Blaine and I do at least four body shots off his abs at one of the bars."

Sam yelled from the phone, "SEB! Rob told you to leave me alone!"

Tina laughed. "If you REALLY knew Blaine, you'd know he'd never do a body shot off of Sam."

Sebastian smirked. "Ms. T, you'd be surprised about what I can get Blaine to do ..."

"Tina, NO ONE is going to do body shots off of me!" Sam wailed.

Tina shushed him. "Shhh…Wait a minute. You want the bet to payout in Orlando, huh?" A gleam appeared in her eyes. "Okay. If you win, Sam goes shirtless and you get your jollies on his abs in Orlando…"

"TINA!" Sam yelled.

" Sucks to be doing this on the phone, huh ?" Cooper said in an aside into the phone.

"NOOOOO!" wailed Sam.

"Sam don't worry, we _aren't_ going to lose!" Tina continued, "But if WE win, Sebastian has to dress up as Severus Snape in Orlando…and Sam has to send me photos and video."

"OOOOHHH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sam cackled. Then he protested again, "But…"

"WE. ARE NOT. GOING. TO LOSE." Tina reminded him vigorously.

"Deal," Sebastian said smugly, shaking Tina's hand. Sebastian was getting that look in his eye that Nick only had seen on the lacrosse field and before Warbler competitions.

"Do you even know who Severus Snape is?" Nick laughed, pulling Sebastian aside.

"I have some vague recollection…I read the first Book-That-Cannot-Be-More-Nerdy when I was like, twelve. But who cares? Duvall, I have not missed a single question during this entire game. Stuff your shirt back in your underwear and let's get back in there. Are you with me?" Sebastian used the voice he used to coach Blaine.

"Okay, let's go!" Nick drunkenly bounced on his toes.

They stepped back to the table area.

"Let's go, Nickbastian, you're up first." '

"Don't call us that, Chicken Coop..." Sebastian warned again.

Cooper had a frightening gleam in his eye. "You have thirty seconds to get as many questions as you can. The lightning round begins…NOW:

"Who would Blaine love to cast as himself in the movie of his life some day?"

"Leo," Sebastian said immediately. "Coop, don't waste my time."

"Correct! Blaine CLAIMS that his first kiss with a boy was with…"

"Kurt!" Nick yelled.

"Correct. But it ACTUALLY was with…"

"Jeremiah." Sebastian smirked. "Naughty!"

"Correct! What did Blaine do at age five that left a scar on his right knee?"

Sebastian looked puzzled.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Nick shouted. "He hit his head on a diving board!"

"His knee, you idiot!" Sebastian slugged Nick in the arm.

"Ow!" Nick rubbed his bicep.

Cooper was moving on. "How many trophies does Blaine have in his room at my parents' house?"

Sebastian started counting on his fingers out loud and Nick joined in.

"Fencing," Sebastian tapped one finger.

"That McKinley Knitting one," Nick added.

"The knitting one from Elementary School,"

"Puppetry,"

"MVP from Regionals sophomore year."

"Gymnastics!"

"Jujitsu."

"Yahtzee!"

"Two seconds…" Cooper goaded.

"Shit…uh...eighteen?" Sebastian guessed, looking intense.

Cooper's watch beeped. "Unbelievable, eighteen is correct!"

"ARGH!" Tina threw her hands over her face. "What the hell?!"

Sam called, "They are doing that Dalton macho hand-grip-half-hug thing, huh?"

"Yep," groused Tina. "And the smirking is so over-the-top that I have to look away or I'll be blinded by the arrogance."

"Skype call show circle!" Sam shouted. "We can do this, Tay-Tay!"

"Oh damn, this is one expensive call," Sebastian said as he realized they were using Tina's phone. "Sam, calling you back!" he said loudly at the speakerphone.

"That's four for Nickbastian!" Cooper chirped as Sebastian shut off Tina's phone and called Sam back from his own phone.

Tina murmured somewhat awkward thanks to Sebastian for paying for the next phone call. She bounced up to stand next to Cooper, her brown eyes sparkling eagerly. Sebastian and Nick returned to their seats and Nick held the phone up so Sam could hear better.

Cooper stretched his neck out in a circle, then cracked his knuckles before picking up the legal pad and resetting his watch. "30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins…now!

"What is Blaine's favorite food?

"Sugar cookies!" Tina shouted.

"How old was Blaine when he first woke up with a wet dream?"

"11!" shouted Sam.

"No, 12!" Cooper yelled.

"Ugh, I didn't need to picture that," Sebastian said.

"What is the name of Blaine's imaginary friend?"

" Harry McCheerful! " Sam shouted.

"IS? As in he STILL HAS this imaginary friend?" Sebastian asked Nick in a slightly disturbed undertone.

"And what is Harry's profession?"

"Genie!" Tina shouted.

"What is Blaine's username in online show choir forums?"

Tina's eyes grew wide. "Sam?!" she called urgently to the speakerphone.

"I don't know! No one reads them but him! Maybe it's the same as it is for other forums he's on. But it's probably not OhioNocturnalAvenger…" Sam rambled.

Tina wrung her hands, "Oh no oh no oh no! His Tumblr is called MediumDrip…but I doubt that's it…"

"I know!" Nick said smugly to Sebastian.

"There are SHOW CHOIR forums?" Sebastian quirked an eyebrow.

Cooper prodded Tina and Sam. "5 seconds, you need this or you lose the game."

"Oh no! I wish I had never made fun of him for being on them!" Sam cried.

"Oh god oh god oh god," wailed Tina in a panic.

Cooper's watch beeped.

Tina covered her face and Sam screamed, "NOOOOOOOOO!"

Nick leapt up to jump up and down and he hugged Sebastian from behind. Sebastian did a slow clap.

"No!" yelled Sam. "I'm not going to do it! You can't make me!"

Tina took a sip of her drink and started laughing. "Come on Sam, if we had won you would have made Sebastian dress up."

"No! He would have hid behind Blaine or something."

"Come now, Sammy. You're not a man of your word?" Cooper chuckled.

"It wasn't my word! It was Tina's! She made me!"

"You really shouldn't have started playing the game if you didn't agree to the terms, Trout." Sebastian laughed.

"But Tina said we weren't going to lose!"

"We wouldn't have lost if you hadn't shouted the wrong age for Blaine's first wet dream!" Tina pointed out.

The waitress picking up empty glasses looked at them oddly and Cooper gave a charming grin with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Sam I know I've been working out more than you lately – Blaine told me all you've been doing is painting and stuff." Sebastian smirked.

"Blaine and Rob will defend me," whimpered Sam.

"Rob believes in integrity and people paying their debts," Sebastian smirked. "He has also been working out a lot, so he'll be great for helping me get your shirt off and onto the bar." He licked his lips. "Though I'm sure there will be some other fellas around who will be more than happy to help rip your clothes off."

"Promise me you'll get Blaine to take some pictures?" Tina asked Sebastian in a sweeter tone than she had ever taken with him.

Sebastian nodded indulgently at her and patted her hand before continuing. "Mmmmm... I'm looking forward to sprinkling a little margarita salt and having tequila shots. It's been awhile since I've had some good Patrón Silver. But where should I sprinkle the salt, exactly?"

"I'm hanging up now," Sam groaned.

"Your belly button is an innie, yes Sammy?" Sebastian teased. "How much salt do you think we can fit in there? A teaspoon? Two?"

"Arghhh! Goodbye! "

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed that as much as we enjoyed writing it! Please review! Hope you don't think Blaine isn't being too easy on Seb? And that Seb is realistic, falling apart into a puddle of apologies that quick? I've said it before and I'll say again, I kinda don't think I can write Seb too soft when he's with Blaine. He lets all his walls down and thinks he's beyond lucky to have Blaine's time at all. To the rest of the world, he is incredibly selective on about who gets to see his more human sides. determines them worthy of seeing, but with Blaine - he's his true self and he doesn't seem to have a lot of pride around him, either. It's fascinating to me...I see it as a very realistic, a guy who is that extreme, to be so all or nothing with people. I've been told that my Mrs. Anderson is a bit Marion Cunningham (Happy Days TV reference), but I like to think I went a little deeper with this chapter. I actually am fascinated by her backstory, hope I'll have opportunity to tell more of it. Chorus girl meets blue-blood and hooks him. She comes from money, just not quite as much money as him. Sound familiar? :)_


	25. The Talk 2.0, Baggage Claim 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _We're almost there! The end of this chapter is where their long-awaited Spring Break begins. But first, we wrap up the quarter quickly with a little Seblaine and Robastian fluff. Then have a few important Seblaine, Blam, and Robastian exchanges to cover. Seblaine of course being the most significant…and THEN we get to start things off for spring break. Where? Where else, baggage claim! :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Let us know what you think! Thanks as always to Dori, Cristina, Thomas, Tereza, Andy and Rose!_

"HE WHAT?! When did he tell you that?!"

Sebastian smiled and looked into the webcam innocently. "He didn't tell us as much as he asked... he was playing trivia master and wrote a bunch of questions about you for us."

Blaine's mouth hung open in disbelief. "I am going to kill him! What is wrong with him?! Why couldn't he ask you _normal_ trivia questions about presidents or science or something?"

"As if your brother could write questions like that. When we were planning food for your birthday Tina said Rachel was an herbivore and Coop thought that was a dinosaur. Anyway, in his defense the trivia game wasn't his idea."

"Then whose idea was it?" Blaine demanded.

"Tina and Nick's. They were a few drinks past tipsy and were trying to one-up each other about who knows you better. You should be flattered, Killer! And it's just another marker of how your legend status continues to skyrocket. Your fandom is infighting! I think Dalton should make a board game about you and give it to freshmen at orientation after this. We should also see if there is a Tumblr tag for you, I'd bet good money there is."

Sebastian continued with a chuckle. "I can't believe Sam didn't tell you about this. That chicken is in denial that he lost. But I agree with you, that was a terrible question. I'm not interested in your wet dreams, I'm only interested in you wet and awake." He winked.

"Sebastian…" Blaine scolded. "I can't believe you let them play that game at all!"

"I was really drunk. I barely remember anything. I wasn't making good decisions," he gave Blaine his Warbler performance smile.

Blaine wagged a finger. "I know you, when you drink you don't lose your memory or lucidity, you just lose some of your self-restraint and you're nicer to people."

"Exactly. I'm nicer to people when I'm not making good decisions. They made me play!" He held his hands in the air and widened his green eyes.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "What other questions did Cooper ask?"

"Hey, I better go," Sebastian said, avoiding his eyes and stifling a laugh. "I have lots of stuff to do…you know me these days, busy, busy!" 

Blaine glared at him. "Don't try and hang up on me…"

Sebastian smirked. "It wasn't that bad. And Tina and I even had a few laughs, you should be glad about that. And you should just be happy _I_ wasn't trivia master. Just think what kinds of questions _I_ could have asked…like 'What is the best thing Blaine can do with his tongue?"

Blaine blushed. "SEB! My door is open!"

"Well then close it!" Sebastian chortled. "I'll wait!"

Blaine rolled his chair over to close his bedroom door while Sebastian raised his eyebrows in surprise.

Even via Skype, his expression was clearly predatory. "Are you finally giving in to my demands for Skype sex, Gorgeous? Because I would chuck everything on my to-do list for that."

"No, I'm closing the door because you're back to being the loose cannon you were before you got all stressed out from recruiting and finals." Blaine couldn't restrain a smile. "I will say this, it's nice to see you laugh a little. And I love that you and Tina bonded."

"She isn't going to share her ancient Chinese secrets with me anytime soon, but it was a start."

Blaine gave him a pointed look.

Sebastian wrinkled his nose. "I have to win her over more before I can make racist jokes, huh?"

Blaine shook his head. "Why do there have to be ANY racist jokes?"

"Hey if I'm completely inappropriate with you, that's when you know you're in my inner circle. Ask Santana."

Blaine chuckled and shook his head again. "You are so warped. Well if this game helped you and Tina get closer, I guess I partially condone it."

"Oh no no no…trust me babe, don't ever say you condone that game in any way, shape or form. You'll only encourage them."

"You just said it wasn't that bad! And stop acting like you had nothing to do with it. I know you, you get all competitive when you play any game, and when you and Cooper get together he makes you wilder and you just egg him on. So come on, out with it, tell me what other questions he asked!"

"I told you I have to go!" Sebastian grinned wickedly. "I have to run to a mock interview."

"You do not! You said you could talk until 3!"

"Well I just remembered that I should prep extra for this one...I'll text you later…" Sebastian smirked and waved at the camera. "But say hi to Harry McCheerful for me."

"Harry … Oh my god. Seb! What else did he ask?!"

"Ciao, Killer!"

* * *

Rob knocked on Sebastian's door.

Sebastian barked, "Rob, I told you not to bug me. I have to focus on memorizing all this BS for my interviews tomorrow."

Rob came in and tossed a box on Sebastian's bed. "This looks like a care package from the non-boyfriend." He ruffled Sebastian's hair.

"You are non-grata," Sebastian grumbled as he swatted him away. "You're lucky your mom sent extra cookies this week for finals or I would exile you into the hall on your ear. Get out."

Rob returned to his room shaking his head in amusement. It wasn't long before he heard the notes of a song never played before in their dorm:

_[Hear "Good Ol Moon" on our YouTube playlist, keyword search: I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine]_

_Wake up, I'm lonely, let's talk about how we_

_Love to talk on the telephone_

_We would hang up and go back to absolutely nothing_

_and by absolutely nothing I mean pick up the phone._

_The sun is out, the moon is smiling_

_In the corner of his eye he's crying for his_

_next new arrival for the rest of the night._

_Good ol' moon is like me,_

_we walk free but we're stuck in here._

_I'll pick up the comics and sympathize with Linus_

_and the z's that Dagwood leaves behind._

_As for me, I wouldn't mind just to join him along._

_I mean, just look at these two pictures can you tell me what's wrong._

_The sun is out, the moon is smiling_

_In the corner of his mind he's timing his_

_next new arrival for the rest of the night._

_Good ol' moon is like me,_

_we walk free but we're stuck in here._

_No more pain for a while,_

_you and I could sit in the sun and smile._

_Maybe then, we'd be friends, yeah,_

_the moon, sun, and me,_

_and we could sing together in perfect harmony._

_Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo_

_No more pain for a while,_

_you and I could sit in the sun and smile._

_Maybe then, we'd be friends, yeah_

_the moon, sun, and me,_

_and we could sing together in perfect harmony.…_

Rob heard a knock on his door. "Come in," he called, smiling as he awaited one of his favorite Sebastian faces - the apologetic one.

Sebastian's mouth was indeed twisted to one side and his green eyes were stealthily searching for forgiveness as he popped his head in and tossed a ziplock bag of brownies on the bed. "From Blaine. "

"Thanks, man." Rob glanced up and gave him a slight smile and nod.

Sebastian swung on his door frame and called out as he turned back towards his room, "I think we should go get jobs to be the guys who haul the kayaks on shore in Santa Cruz. You don't need a Stanford degree to do that."

"You'd get skin cancer," Rob replied.

"Please, you're paler than I am."

"I'm going to bed, man."

"I hate you." Sebastian sighed as he sat back down at his desk.

"You say that, but these brownies are a gift from the heart."

"Shut up and get some sleep for me."

"Consider it done."

_...Oh, the moon is out, the sun is trying_  
 _not to look upset, but man he's dying for his_  
 _next new arrival for the rest of the night._

_Good ol' moon is like me,  
we walk free_

_Good ol' moon is like me,  
we walk free_

_Good ol' moon is like me,  
we walk free, but we're stuck in here..._

* * *

_SEB: Let the Warblers sing it from the mountaintops, it's all over at last. I just handed in my last paper._

_BLAINE: Yay! I can't wait until my last final is over tomorrow and then we're both done!  
_

_SEB: Yes, tomorrow will be a fine Friday in history. While I wait for you to be done, I'm going to go lie down and sleep for several centuries. Call me over and over on Saturday and make sure I don't miss my flight for Florida._

_BLAINE: Ha ha. Hey, do you have time for a Skype tomorrow at 1 or 2 your time?_

_SEB: Sure, though if I'm going to see you day after tomorrow, I'm thinking I should be sleeping all day to summon my strength to flirt in the manner that you deserve. Oh and I need to pack. I'll be sure to throw in some of those tight t-shirts of mine that you like._

_BLAINE: Easy, tiger :)_

_SEB: Actually can we just talk Saturday when we land? I also have to pick up my laundry tomorrow, I promised Rob I would run an errand for him, and I'm dropping Thomas off at the airport. Plus Jay is whining that he wants me to pick out something for his mom's birthday - though I think it's a ploy_ _so he can get my help to pick out new outfits for his spring break reunion with The Douche. Oh and Roger asked if I can take him to the mechanic. I don't know how I became the go-to person for everything under the sun. Serves me right for mentioning that I finish today and don't leave until Saturday._

_BLAINE: They're all asking you for help because you're everyone's hero and people are figuring out that you're also a darling. But you can't squeeze a call in? We can also do it late your time, early my time, I have to get up early for my flight anyway. I do really want to talk to you before we both get on our planes. Nothing bad, I just want to make sure we're on the same page on some stuff._

_SEB: Okay, I can pull off the call if we do it at 1, no need to get you up earlier than you already have to. But why are you being so cryptic? Are you okay? Do you just want to just talk right now? I'm almost home._

_BLAINE: I'm fine, and no let's not talk now - go get some rest, I'd rather talk after you have more sleep in you._

_SEB: What is this about? You're being weird._

_BLAINE: It's hard to explain. I promise I'm not mad at you, it's not bad, I just want to get your take on a couple of things._

_SEB: Fine, be that way. I'm too exhausted to bug you until I get it out of you._

_BLAINE: Good, because texting is not a good medium for what I want to cover. But again, don't worry about it. Go get your well-deserved rest. Just don't fall asleep in your tight jeans like you did like every afternoon at Xmas. You deserve good rest, put on some comfy sweats._

_SEB: It's finals week, I'm already in sweats. But how about I lose them and sleep in the buff? Just so you have a good visual for a great night's rest before your last final._

_BLAINE: Wow, Sebastian Smythe is wearing sweats outside the gym…those casual Californians have really transformed you into a living, breathing college boy! Anyway, stop flirting and go get some rest, you dog._

_SEB: You love it. Okay, I no longer have any energy left to text any further. Talk to you tomorrow._

_BLAINE: Bye! :)_

* * *

Blaine smiled into the webcam. "Hi, Beautiful."

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow. "I know I still look like shit from weeks of sleep deprivation. So don't try to sweet-talk me. Out with it, what's going on?"

"Nothing is 'going on,'" Blaine tried to explain. "I just wanted to go ahead and have our 'state of the union' before we got to Florida. I thought it would be better to get it over with ahead of time and set the stage, so to speak, for our vacation together."

Sebastian pulled his face back from the camera, brow furrowed. "Hey, why didn't you say so yesterday? Way to blind-side me, Anderson."

Blaine said earnestly, "What would you have done if you knew yesterday? Prepared notes? You didn't last time. I just didn't want you to worry about it unnecessarily. You worry more when you're tired, I know you do."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine." He gave a reluctant half smile. "You're lucky that you're cute and I'm in a good mood because I slept 10 hours last night and I don't have anything looming ahead of me anymore. But I think next time you shouldn't underestimate me." He paused to haughtily sniff the air. "Maybe I will be prepared with notes from my speechwriter full of speaking points for our next State of the Union."

Blaine laughed. "Okay, okay."

Sebastian made an accommodating gesture. "Alright then, the floor is yours, Mr. President."

Blaine gave him a half smile, but with a warning look. "Take this seriously, Seb."

"Okay, okay." Sebastian looked chastened. He gave him a more sincere nod. "But really, take the lead, obviously you do have some stuff you want to tell me."

Blaine took a deep breath. "Okay. Well, I want to start by saying I thought we did great overall this quarter. We didn't have any phone sex, we kept things relatively light and pressure-free, except for the whole Instagram thing. But the Instagram thing was a good learning experience for me. And I think we both grew as people a bit. We both got closer to our friends and I know I got more confident overall."

Sebastian nodded and wondered in amusement if there actually were speaking points on index cards off-camera.

Blaine continued with an earnest smile. "Also, I wanted to say again that I'm really, incredibly grateful for how you've been taking care of me this quarter, especially towards the end. The pep talk before my UCLA audition, comforting me when I got the London rejections, reassuring me when I got intimidated by Oliver, really taking such great care of me at every turn, rescheduling your important meeting to tuck me into bed when I was sick...I really think you were just amazing to do all that, it really means so much to me."

"But…" Sebastian quirked an eyebrow.

Blaine squirmed. "But…at the end of the quarter, because things felt kind of lopsided, even though we both were having a very stressful couple of weeks. You were taking care of me constantly, but you weren't letting me do much for you in return."

Sebastian tried to placate him. "Blaine, I'm no relationship expert, but I don't think we should be keeping score. I've told you, you do take care of me. You take care of me by just…" his expression softened, " existing ."

Blaine melted a little. "That's really sweet. But I'm not talking about keeping count of how many things you do for me…it's more about," he took another deep breath, "that our communication was imbalanced, and how it made me feel."

Sebastian looked at him intently, unsure of what was to come next. "Okay...tell me what you mean by that."

"This is so hard to explain," Blaine said earnestly, "Because I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful. Through all the stress, you've been my...everything. Any guy would be lucky to have you on their side. It's just...I want you to share what's going on with you when you're stressed, so you can lean on me. I know you've grown up not really relying on anyone, but a healthy relationship is a two way street. Otherwise, I end up feeling like a child or something. It made me feel disconnected from you, like I was the only one who needed help. At the end of the quarter I felt like I was the needy one and you were cranking through all your stuff and you didn't need me."

"Of course I need you. You're my rock too, babe – I'm sorry if I don't tell you that enough. I can get better at that." Sebastian looked troubled.

Blaine wanted to comfort him, but held back so his message wouldn't be muddied. "It's just all of your emails and texts and calls to me those couple of weeks – they were all about me, you were reassuring me about everything I was worried about, point by point. And that was great, but then when I wanted to hear about you and listen to you, you would just rattle off a list of stuff you had to do and then you would be off to the races."

Sebastian opened his mouth to say something, but then thought better of it and closed it again.

"Remember the day I got you to drop Netflix and those other companies? I had to drag it out of you – you couldn't stop to let me help you. You even got mad at me for it."

"I'm sorry again about that," Sebastian said, his eyes wide with worry.

"Don't beat yourself up over that, baby ." Blaine said sympathetically. "I just wanted to debrief about it so we learn from it before we move forward." Blaine's hazel eyes were wide with concern. "And it's not all your doing, I know I feed into that dynamic. And I act like such a big baby with you sometimes because you let me. In the moment, it feels so sweet and you make me feel so safe and loved, but the next morning I'm often kicking myself for it."

Seb looked confused. "So you don't want me…to take care of you as much?"

"I don't know about that," Blaine said, looking thoughtful. "I love being able to talk to you about my troubles and I love getting comfort and advice from you. It's more that I'd also like you to try to let me in more _._ Then maybe I can offer perspective on your troubles, if you want it."

Sebastian looked away as he processed it all. "I always want your perspective." He paused, and Blaine could see the wheels turning in his head. "I guess that's sort of related to what David said about letting more people in," he remarked. "I just assumed I had let you in already." He added glumly, "But I guess not enough."

Blaine smiled at him tenderly. "I just want to be able to be there for you the way you are for me. I just want you to know you're not alone."

"Just like your song," Sebastian said with a half smile and nod. He looked thoughtful. "But B, can I be honest? I might really suck at this at first. Like you said, I was brought up to be very independent and to not bother other people with my stress. Even Nina was more of the 'suck it up and get it done' school of childrearing. Hell, if it weren't for sports and performing, I wouldn't have had any outlet at all." His green eyes were very serious. "So if I screw up, will you keep reminding me?"

"Of course I'll remind you, now that I know to look for it myself. I didn't really realize it was happening until I was talking to my mom a few weeks ago."

Blaine's beautiful eyes were calm. "I'm not worried about you being able to do it. I know you trust me and that you want to share your life with me. It's just like you said, you just don't always remember to do it when you're stressed, because your default is to be a stoic male."

"You make me sound like such a cliché," Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"You've always been anything but cliché, Sebastian Smythe," Blaine smiled softly at him. He looked encouraged. "Now the next thing I wanted to tell you is something I've noticed about me. Something that kind of scared me."

Sebastian leaned forward, his eyes were concerned.

Blaine took a deep breath. "Before the day I got you to drop Netflix, I was feeling really lonely. Like, really lonely ."

Sebastian looked pained. "Damn, I should have…"

Blaine cut him off. "Seb, you shouldn't have done ANYTHING different. You had to do what you had to do during those weeks, with interviews and regionals for Mixed Company and school and lacrosse. I wasn't dying. I would have felt terrible if you blew off things that are important to you to hold my hand just because Sam wasn't around as much."

"But you're more important," Sebastian objected, looking miserable. "And Sam couldn't be around, and you needed me. And maybe if I had...connected to you better like you said, let you in...maybe you wouldn't have..."

Blaine gave him a tender smile. "Seb I really don't think the loneliness was about how much time you spent with me or even how we were connecting. I don't ever want to be that unhappy just because I feel alone. You weren't neglecting me, Seb. Really. And this isn't the last time you're going to be busy, Ambitious One. I love that about you, actually. I admire it. I want to be able to get through a busy period in your life without getting so lonely."

His eyes grew sad. "I hated that I felt that way, but there was no denying it. The worst part was that it reminded me of when Kurt first moved to New York."

Sebastian leaned forward and looked alarmed.

Blaine gestured protest. "Again, not because of ANYTHING you were doing, Seb. I think this goes back to when I was little, right after Cooper left for college – I told you about that time in my life. I'm talking to my therapist about it. It's just..." he looked away from the camera. "I guess what the last couple of weeks have taught me is that I'm not as far along as I thought when it comes to the whole loneliness thing."

Sebastian looked disturbed. "B, why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you call me? I could tell you were feeling kind of lonely with Sam gone and me being such an idiot, but I had no idea it was so bad…You could have called me in the middle of the night, whatever. I would have made time to be with you more..." He looked frustrated. "Or at least be on the phone with you more. I never, ever want you to feel alone."

Blaine shook his head. "I didn't get into it with you because you were busy doing important things for you, which you should be doing. And I didn't call because I want to be able to shake it on my own."

He paused to reflect some more. "When it happened with Kurt it was worse – he wasn't even very interested in what was going on with me. Almost all our conversations were dominated by what was going on with him. But you, all you wanted to talk about was me, I've never felt alone with my problems with you there to listen. And it's never, ever been a question that I'm a priority to you, especially when it was the toughest – like when you dropped everything to take care of me when I was sick in London."

Sebastian still looked upset, but was at a loss for what to say next.

"I really don't want to be that guy anymore, the guy who's so dependent on someone else." Sebastian could discern a changed, bitter tone. "The worst part of it is, I had been feeling much more independent than I was last quarter, when I kind of just shadowed Sam's social life around here and lived for your emails and calls. This quarter I've worked hard to create a support system of friends here this quarter, to make the most of my experience at the RC." He added morosely, "But even after all that, I still felt so lonely."

Sebastian spoke up. "B, you are 100% better than you were last quarter. You're so much more sure of yourself and you seem so much happier. This has just been a tough couple of weeks."

Blaine took a deep breath."Yes, it has been. But we're going to have tough times again down the road, and I don't want to go through that again. I'm just…" he hesitated.

"What? Blaine, it's okay..." Sebastian prodded gently.

Blaine swallowed. "I just am worried that if you and I start dating, it's going to be that much more tempting for me to get overly dependent on you. It's the romantic in me, you've been my white knight and I think I like it a bit too much. And I'm just afraid I'll fall into bad habits and we'll end up imploding. I think maybe I need more time."

Sebastian looked serious. "Well for the record, you're my hero, too. But I definitely don't want us to end up like you and Hummel. So if more time is what you need for us to avoid that, then take all the time you need." He tried to look understanding, but disappointment showed through as well.

Blaine looked torn, "But maybe we can work on this stuff as a couple…I don't know. That's why I wanted to talk to you. Maybe it's stupid to keep putting 'us' off just because we aren't perfect."

"I don't know, B." Sebastian was looking down. His voice was full of disappointment and self-reproach. "There's a difference between being slightly imperfect and being whatever the hell I am when it comes to relationships. Fuck, I still can't believe you were so unhappy and I was totally oblivious. I always want to put you first and I didn't even notice how bad things were for you. I want to learn how to do the whole boyfriend thing, but I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing sometimes. Maybe I need time to get my act together, too."

Blaine looked worried.

Sebastian was running his fingers through his hair and looking in the webcam with frustration. "Part of it is I am still failing pretty hard core at balancing my life. Like you said, I'm ambitious, but actually achieving my ambitions means being able to juggle all these balls in the air, and I haven't been able to do that yet. I took on too much on this quarter, AGAIN. I want to make more time for you. My most important ambition is making 'this'..." he gestured wildly, " _us_ , work."

Blaine ran his fingers through his hair. "Seb, I told you, you don't need to make more time for me. You can't go catering to my every insecurity, you can't protect me from ever struggling with anything. It makes me weaker and too dependent on you - that's unhealthy."

"Well even if you don't need MORE time, if I balanced the rest of my life better, I'd at least have more energy to make the time we do spend together more...effective."

Blaine gave him a gentle, slow smile. "There you go, engineer. Shall we measure our efficiency, next ?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I just mean that if I balanced my life better, I can stop long enough to remember to do the stuff you want me to do, like remembering to let you in more, so you feel like you know what's going on with me." He hung his head again. "I'm sorry if you felt like just something on my to-do list. I want you to feel appreciated, and I want you to feel close to me. I want us to be...close."

"Once again, the haters are wrong - Sebastian Smythe continues to be a quick study at the "relationship stuff,'" Blaine said, smiling with satisfaction.

Sebastian was looking determined. He was thinking through implementation of the strategy. "B, I can't believe I'm saying this...but I think we should keep things as they are. Especially while we're not on the same continent. If I at least Skyped you at a quiet hour every day I could tell how you were doing, because we would be talking more, instead of emailing." His expression grew vulnerable. "I not good at pouring my troubles out to you in a letter the way you do…you know, to...to let you in. With this intercontinental long distance thing I feel like our chances of failing at this increase in a big way."

"Yeah, and me and my track record with my last break-up, and then the broken engagement…I don't improve our odds much, either."

"Not to mention my complete lack of experience with any kind of relationship," Sebastian added, looking bitter.

"And no matter where I go to school, we'd be doing this long distance thing for at least a couple of more years," Blaine added sadly.

Sebastian groaned. "Ugh...why does this all suck so much?"

Blaine was disappointed, but he mustered courage at the same time. "I said I would use the school year to get back on my feet. I think we might be jumping the gun if we get into a full-on relationship at this point." He couldn't help letting a small sigh escape. "So maybe we check in at the end of spring quarter? Or sooner, if either of us want to talk about anything sooner?"

Sebastian gave a slight nod. There was an awkward silence.

Blaine tried to compose himself and find the bright side of the matter. "You know it's not so bad. We were great this quarter, it was fun flirting but we enjoyed our lives without each other too, and we were still able to be there for each other. Outside of the instagram thing and all the finals stress, things didn't get too emotional, either."

Sebastian stuck out his lower lip. "This means you're not going to let me grope you in Orlando, huh ?"

Blaine laughed. " You have a one-track mind." He paused before he added gently, "You know I'm not trying to be cruel to you when I keep you at bay, right? And you know that it doesn't mean I don't want you, right?"

"Oh, I know you want me," Sebastian said with a slight smirk, even though he was actually comforted by Blaine's statement.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Be serious." His voice got quieter. "Of course I want you that way. You are the sexiest guy I've ever met and I can't believe you want me, too…But don't you remember what it was like to say goodbye at the very end of winter break, at the airport?"

Sebastian finally sobered.

Blaine's eyes were wide and sincere. "Don't forget that. Don't forget that every time we have sex, every time we kiss or touch each other in an sexual way, it does something to us. I know it wasn't like that for you and other guys, but when you build a relationship with someone before you sleep with them, you get emotionally closer every time you're intimate after that. We're wired that way as humans. "

Even via webcam his gold and green eyes looked so beautiful that Sebastian's heart ached. "Every time we do any of those things, it makes us that much more like boyfriends, which we just said should hold off on. And every time we do any of those things, it's going to be that much harder to say goodbye after Spring Break is over."

He conjured up a half smile. "I don't know about you, but when I got back from winter break, I was composing sappy love songs and watching sad, romantic movies."

Sebastian had been looking down as he listened to the end of Blaine's speech. His head came up and he exhaled. "I ate like forty of Rob's mom's cookies in one day. "

Blaine smiled, and gathered more resolve for both of them. "So we're going to do this. No sex over Spring Break, we keep things light and fun. It's going to be SO GREAT even without jumping into bed together, I promise. We get to see each other for a whole week…we can still let loose, we'll go dancing and we can still flirt and cuddle but we won't go too far. Okay?"

"Okay, okay." Sebastian said, trying to compose himself as well. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this."

"You want us to keep having a healthy relationship, right?" Blaine said. "You want us to feel stronger and be ready for the real thing, right? You don't want us to blow our chances before we've even begun, right?"

Sebastian nodded, taking a deep breath. He looked at Blaine's courageous face and knew he had to man up. _I love you so goddamned much,_ he wanted to say. "Right."

Blaine smiled at Sebastian's brave face, trying so hard to understand it all. _I love you more than anything_ , he wanted to say. "And we're going to be okay. You know why ?"

Sebastian gave him a wry half smile. "'Cause we're Seb and Blaine."

* * *

Sam took Blaine's carry-on and lifted it into the overhead bin. He sank into the seat next to Blaine with a sigh of relief. "Man, I can't believe we're finally going! I really hope they let me jam with them at the Wizard Rock sessions - they sound awesome! And the quidditch looks epic!"

"Mmm hmm…" murmured Blaine, flipping through photos on his phone.

Sam leaned over as Blaine paused to look at the photo of a shirtless Sebastian at the lake last summer, holding a black puppy. "I thought Sebastian hated dogs."

[](http://imgur.com/PjsEahJ)

"That puppy got a big splinter in its paw and these kids begged Seb to pluck it out," Blaine said, with a sweet smile. "He was all grouchy about it but it was adorable." He stared at it for a few seconds while Sam looked at him with amusement.

Blaine looked over at him with worry and let out a big sigh. "Oh Sam, I don't know how I'm going to be able to do it."

"Do what? Oh you mean your big talk? I thought you said you're going to say yes if he says he wants to be boyfriends. Did you change your mind?"

Blaine's eyes were big and troubled. "I didn't want to get into it with Liam in the car, but yeah, I changed my mind. We both changed our minds." He paused, scratching the back of his neck. "We Skyped last night and I told him that I was feeling really lonely and distant from him towards the end of the quarter, because even though he was really taking care of me, he wasn't really telling me what was going on with him. He said he would work on opening up to me, but the whole thing still reminded me of how I felt when Cooper left for college and when Kurt left for New York."

Sam's eyes widened. "Really? So are you and Seb like, breaking up?"

Blaine hastened to reply, "No, nothing like that." He looked sad as he added, "How can we break-up if we haven't even started dating? Anyway, it wasn't as bad as it was with Kurt. Like I said, he was actually acting just the opposite of Kurt, he was really engaged with what was going on with me. That part was sweet. It's just I realized that just being alone is kind of a trigger for me, something I really need to work on before I get into a serious relationship. And that's what it would be for Seb and me, we're already too emotionally involved to do the casual dating thing. And Seb says he's not ready either, he says he wants to learn to balance his life more so he has more energy to dedicate to us."

"Okay…" Sam said, scratching his head as he took it all in. "I think you might be overthinking this, but I guess you gotta do whatever works for you guys. But why were you saying you didn't know if you could do it?"

Blaine gestured wildly at his phone. "LOOK at him! How am I going to stop myself from...god…He's so beautiful…" He took a deep breath. "He's just the most beautiful human being, not just how hot he is...but…everything. I'm so crazy about him." Blaine sighed again. "All that, and I somehow said we can't get physical over spring break. I know it's the right thing to do...if we sleep together it will just make us feel like we're getting serious, and it will just make it much harder to say goodbye. But god it's going to be so hard."

Blaine closed his eyes and dropped his head back in his seat. "Every time I stop and think about being with him again, being _close_ to him again...oh man Sam, I don't know how I'm going to not kiss him and...lord...everything else."

He kept his eyes closed but clutched at Sam's arm. "Sam, you have to promise to help me. Remind me of what I just said and keep me from doing something I'll regret. Do not let me have sex with him. Do not let me kiss him, because that will end in me having sex with him."

He opened his eyes to look at Sam, whose mouth was set in a straight line. He said doubtfully, "Okay, I'll do my best."

Blaine's eyes grew intense. "That's not enough, Sam. I can't do it, I can't make saying goodbye to him even worse than it was after winter break. Remember me when we first got back? _The_ _Titanic?_ The pie?It could be even worse than that! It's not healthy for us to get in deeper right now. We can't. Promise me you will treat it like one of our superhero missions. DO NOT LET ME SLEEP WITH SEB."

Sam looked doubtful. "I don't know… what if you get mad at me if I try to stop you? "

"I promise I won't," Blaine said firmly.

"What about Sebastian? He's in killer shape this year," Sam shook his head. "There's no way I'm getting away alive if I try to get between you and him when he wants to bonk you. "

"Let me handle him. If you can help me keep myself together, he'll be respectful. You handle me, I'll handle him."

Sam took a deep breath. "Okay, I vow do everything in my power to accomplish the mission. But I gotta say this is the weirdest mission I've ever had."

Blaine patted his hand. "Thank you so much, Sam. You are the best friend, ever."

Sam gave him a smile. Then he bit his lip and looked tentative. "So while you're reminded of what a great friend I am…."

Blaine was pulling a magazine out of his bag. He started flipping through it and spoke without looking up. "You want to talk to me about how you let Cooper host a game consisting of embarrassing questions about me?"

"Heh," Sam huffed nervously. "So I'm guessing Sebastian told you about that."

"Yes. Two weeks ago, the next day after you guys played your little game. Tina e-mailed me about it a couple of hours later. Nick and Cooper talked to me about it by text, a few days after that." He flipped a few more pages. "But you, the one who was PLAYING THE GAME IN THE NEXT ROOM, somehow are two weeks after everyone else."

"I, um…"

"Don't tell me that they made you play, because I heard from at least two sources that the words from your lips were 'I wanna play, I wanna play, I know everything about Blaine.'" Blaine's lips twitched suspiciously.

Sam gritted his teeth. "Sorry, Blaine. I totally regret it…"

Blaine interjected, still not looking at him as he flipped more pages, "Oh, I bet you regret it. But don't worry, I would never do a body shot off of you."

Sam sighed in relief. "Tina didn't think you would. So you won't let Sebastian…"

Blaine chuckled. "I don't know, that might be kind of hot to watch… "

"BLAINE!"

>

* * *

_ROB: FYI, my flight is leaving on time._

_SEBASTIAN: DO NOT LET ME SLEEP WITH BLAINE. Long story, but last time I screwed up in this arena I made him cry. I will pay you $500 if you make sure I keep it in my pants this week._  


_ROB: This does not sound like a relaxing vacation for me._

_SEBASTIAN: 700_

_ROB: Fine._

_SEBASTIAN: I would have paid up to a thousand_

_ROB: I would have done it for a hundred_

_SEBASTIAN: If you understood the effect Blaine's ass has on me you would have demanded five thousand._

* * *

"Hi! Rob!"

"And you're definitely Blaine," Rob said with a friendly smile as he stepped off the escalator into baggage claim.

Blaine gave him a quick hug and beamed at him. "I am so excited to finally meet you. You've been so good to Sebastian. I can tell he loves you so much."

Rob smiled at him and turned to Sam. "And you must be Sam. "

Sam gave him a welcoming smile as they shook hands. "Good to meet you, man. Where's Sebastian?"

"We weren't on the same flight. I finished my finals Wednesday, so I went home to see my folks for a couple of days before flying out here. Seb's flight landed not too long after mine, so I'm sure he'll be along soon enough, depending on how close his gate was to here."

Blaine perked up. "Oh, okay then maybe I have time to run to the restroom."

Sam twinkled at him. "Going to go freshen up for the reunion, eh?"

Blaine swatted at him and smiled shyly before hurrying off behind them.

Rob smiled, turning to Sam. "So that's the great Blaine."

"Yeah. He's all heart and class and brains," Sam said, smiling fondly as he glanced back at Blaine. He stretched out his travel-worn limbs as they turned to the baggage claim carousel. "Everyone who meets him falls in love with him. But I think Seb just might be the one who fell the hardest. He waited a long time for him."

Rob mused, "Yeah, sometimes I hear the tone of his voice through the door when they're on a Skype call, and I can't believe it's actually him... he doesn't talk to anyone else like that."

"Heh, and this week you get the live show…" Sam grinned at him. "Hey, so have you heard that they STILL aren't going to become boyfriends?"

Rob nodded and said with relief, "Oh man, finally someone I can talk to about this. I try to have his back when we're with our other friends, but what is WITH him and Blaine? The expensive watch, the care packages, Sebastian always looks doe eyed after reading an email from him or hanging up after a call…"

Sam's eyes grew wide, "Dude, I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who thinks they are crazy! I talk to Blaine and he somehow makes what they're doing sound…sane. Then later I start wondering if I'm the crazy one. To me it just sounds like they are dating but without sex. Why would you do that?! They are boyfriends. Like, did you know Sebastian spent probably five or six thousand dollars for that keyboard he shipped to Blaine at Valentine's Day?"

"He never tells me anything. He bought him a five thousand dollar keyboard? Seriously? And I'm the one who paid for the pizza last week… " Rob rolled his eyes. "All that and they don't want to date? What is up with that?"

…

At his first step out of the restroom, Blaine spotted Sebastian at the top of the escalator and he felt his heart swell. Sebastian found his eyes and a small, warm smile appeared. Blaine leaned back against the nearest wall to steady himself.

[](http://imgur.com/Mzb42lg)

At Christmas he remembered being so happy and excited to see Sebastian that he couldn’t stop grinning...but now, though excitement and obviously happiness were definitely still bubbling under the surface, he was completely overwhelmed by whatever was happening in his heart. Sebastian was here, finally – his whole inspiring, gifted, loving, passionate, adorable package. His dear face, in a softened expression Blaine wasn’t sure he wore for anyone else. His beautiful frame, so tall and gorgeous and beautiful and comforting. 

Sebastian's eyes and posture showed the fatigue borne of the last few weeks - he wore the RC hoodie and his hair was not as flawlessly coiffed as usual. But he was still so handsome that Blaine instantly regretted making Sam promise to do anything.

Sebastian gripped the escalator handrail, feeling warmth spread all over his body. There he was, Blaine Anderson, plain as day: the stunning hazel eyes, the lips, the skin, the clutchable curls, the red polo, the arms, the compact frame, the tiny waist, the slim hips. There he was, flawless as ever, staring at him, unbelievably, with a look of adoration and love. There he was, more compassionate, brilliant, and beautiful than anyone had any business being. Sebastian thought that this was what the Grinch might have felt when his heart grew three sizes. He felt mesmerized as he stared into those eyes that always seemed to see him as no one else did. It was all so much that conscious thought clouded over. _Je t'aime._ He was RIGHT THERE. What had he ever done to deserve this?

...

Sam smacked his forehead. "And like an idiot I just swore up and down to Blaine that I would make sure he doesn't jump into bed with Seb this week."

"Sebastian wants me to do the same thing," Rob shook his head.

Sam looked a bit relieved. "Well then we can maybe work together, or take turns…"

Rob nodded. "But I'm not going to let it get in the way of the Con. The agenda looks awesome. Thanks for inviting us, it worked out for us that your other two friends couldn't come."

Sam said enthusiastically, "Yeah, it's going to be amazing! "Have you ever been to one of these?"

"No, you?"

"No, but Blaine and I did a lot of research and we're ready! Did you bring any costumes?"

"Yeah - I read up on it, too. I would not be caught dead walking around dressed like a Muggle. I do kind of hope we can get Seb to come to the convention just to shock him."

"So what did you bring to wear? What house are you?"

"As much as I'd like to say I'm Gryffindor, every quiz I've ever taken says I'm Ravenclaw."

"I love Ravenclaw!" enthused Sam. "I think my dyslexia keeps me out of Ravenclaw. How old were you when you read the first book?"

"Eight."

"Wow. Yeah, you are Ravenclaw for sure. My parents said that the books are what kept me motivated to work on my reading. Sometimes I am Hufflepuff, sometimes Gryffindor. Blaine always says he's Gryffindor all the way, but I've always thought he was more Ravenclaw. He always tells me I'm Gryffindor, but that's just because he wants me to be Ron to his Harry."

He had a hearty chuckle to himself, causing Rob to eye him with curiosity. "Some of our friends from high school call Seb Lord Voldemort. I actually used to, too. But now I tell them he's just a Slytherin – like Draco…a sneaky bad boy but mostly harmless."

Rob raised his eyebrows. "But if Blaine is Harry…doesn't that make Seb…"

"GINNY!" they shared a big laugh..

"Too bad we don't have a Hermione along in our little group," remarked Rob, thinking of Karen .

"Hopefully we'll meet a few!" said Sam, waggling his eyebrows. "There's a couple of Wizard Rock shows that sound great, there'll be dancing at those. And the pool party!"

"I bet you've been looking forward to that after a winter in Scotland all these months!" smiled Rob.

"You have no idea, man. I had to wait forever outside this dressing room in Edinburgh while Blaine tried on new swim trunks, checking out his own ass in the mirror just like Sebastian will..."

The same thought occurred simultaneously to Sam and Rob. They both turned around toward the bathroom and stopped at the same time.

Rob groaned, "Oh for god's sake - how long do you think they've been at it?"

Sam grimaced at their friends passionately kissing, one of Sebastian's hands in Blaine's curls and the other unabashedly on Blaine's ass. "Judging by how far Blaine's got his hand up Sebastian's shirt, I'd say at least a couple of minutes."

* * *

_There! More Seblaine necking, are you happy? You didn't think these two hotties would actually be able to not kiss when they are this in love and have been apart for that long, did you?_

_Also, you're welcome for bringing back the long-lost shirtless Sebastian tradition of this fic, this time in the form of Puppy!Shirtless!Grant! (at least in the Archive of Our Own version of this fic) Okay, it's technically a repeat of a pic used in a cropped/edited form WAY back in Chapter 1. Regardless, you're welcome._

_Hope you enjoyed the rest, this chapter grew on me. Let us know what you thought of our second baggage claim scene of the fic. I'm also particularly interested in your thoughts on The Talk 2.0, as we called it within our Beta committee. I know it might be tough for some of you to swallow, but I actually think this really is what could happen when you put together two over-achievers who are terrified of ever breaking up because they love each other so damn much._

_Finally, we're curious as to what you think will win out, the loins or the wisdom of these two? Either way, it will be fun to watch. As Cristina, one of our Beta Readers put it, "I do love that even after The Talk they can't keep their hands off each other."_


	26. Calibrating the Point of No Return

_For our ever patient fluff-loving readers, this chapter is basically just a thank you gift, basically all comedy and fluffy, romantic times. You guys, and these boys deserve it after winter quarter. Don't get too excited though, there's no real smut. Hope you enjoy it anyway, starting with some sweet, hot, good old-fashioned Seblaine snogging at the airport. Hope you like it, please review!_

_Many ongoing thanks to Creative Committee and Beta Reading Bad Asses Dori, Cristina, Tereza, Thomas and Rose._

_All songs included are, as usual, included on our YouTube playlist, keyword search: I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine._

* * *

"I don't want you to ever, ever feel alone," Sebastian whispered as they pulled still closer to kiss again. And again, wetter. And again, hotter. And again, deeper and sweeter and endlessly again and again and again.

From the moment Sebastian found Blaine's welcoming arms, any fleeting thought to greeting each other in any other way completely vanished. Every bit of rationality evaporatedu as awareness reduced to the encircling of the waist, the press of the hips, the cheek against the shoulder, a penetrating gaze and the surreal truth that they had finally, FINALLY arrived at the moment where they could be completely _them_ again.

Then the wet heat from their lips and ardent caresses everywhere were suddenly not enough and everything at once. The footsteps and voices and bustle around them faded to a blur and a low hum and all that was left was an overwhelmingly familiar, building intensity burning from the inside out.

_Curves with destinations_  
_Poetic symmetry_  
_Ya 'cause an inflammation  
_ _In my anatomy_

One of Sebastian's hands moved to Blaine's hair, exactly the texture he remembered, soft and thick. The feel of those curls, together with the stroking of Blaine's tongue in his mouth brought back the intense memory of the last time he'd gripped those curls, leaning back against the piano, looking down at adoring, lustful green-gold eyes and Blaine's lips wrapped around his cock.

His other hand very much fought to keep him in the luscious present that was Blaine's ass in the vexing tan pants. They were the pants Sebastian once appreciated from Stanford as sexy on Blaine, but in Orlando were only in the way.

Blaine, for his part, was not conscious of much else but how the warm, soft skin and the straining, taut muscles of Sebastian's abs and pecs felt under his fingertips and how hotly delicious and demanding his mouth felt on his own. His hand paused over Sebastian's strong, sensitive heart, wanting more than ever to capture it completely.

His other hand was distractedly clutching and kneading Sebastian's bicep, feeling the muscles flex and wanting more. It was all too much, not to mention the feeling of Sebastian's arms around him, the feeling of his strong hands on his ass and in his hair, and the fact that he could feel his hard-on beginning to grind against his own. All of this consuming friction made Blaine want to pull Sebastian down on top of him on the floor.

"I missed you so much," he whispered when they parted for air again.

"God I missed you too," Sebastian's said low in his ear before he hungrily kissed his neck.

Blaine's eyes stayed closed as he felt Sebastian's hand drop and drift around him, deft fingers skimming under the front of his waistband, tantalizingly close...

"Hello, Loverboy!" Rob said into Sebastian's ear. _[Rob is inspired by "Love is Strange" on our YouTube playlist]_

Sebastian reluctantly pulled away as Blaine jumped at the sound of Rob's voice, blushing bright red as it dawned on him just how much grossly inappropriate PDA they had just engaged in. He hurriedly smoothed his hair and tried desperately to avoid eye contact with his new friend Rob. "I…uh…we…" he spluttered.

Sebastian was nonchalant as he straightened the RC hoodie. "Hey, you said if I wore the stupid t-shirt I'd get a kiss."

"A _non-boyfriendish_ kiss," Rob reminded him with a half-stern, half-amused look.

"That WAS non-boyfriendish," Sebastian smirked. "I kissed him like that in January and we weren't boyfriends then, either..." He began to lead them all towards the baggage claim carousel.

Sam laughed, "If _that's_ a non-boyfriend kiss, how are ya gonna kiss him when you ARE boyfriends?"

"Oh, I bet you wanna watch, Sammy…" Sebastian retorted with a cheeky grin.

Sam protested, "Ewww, no!" He shuddered. "No way...that was… ewwww!"

"What do you mean, 'ew'?" Sebastian demanded. "That was hot!"

Sam shrugged, "Sorry man, it's just...ew!" He hastened to add, "Not 'cause you're two dudes..."

Sebastian arched a brow at him. "Then what's your problem?"

"It's just…I love you two like brothers. So it's _kinda_ like my two brothers..."

"UGHHHHHH!" Rob and Blaine groaned.

"Really, Sammy? Incest fantasies? I didn't think you had it in you!" Sebastian chuckled.

"Uuugh! Blech! Ewww!" the others cried .

Rob was the first to rebound, just as they had reached the carousel. He spoke in his calm way. "Non-boyfriendish or not, you also only negotiated one kiss, Seb. That looked like at least a half dozen by the time we could cross the room, and who knows how many before we even noticed you," he chuckled.

Blaine blushed, even as he couldn't stop smiling. "Sorry, we got a little carried away...we haven't seen each other in so long and all. But we definitely shouldn't do that anymore."

"A LITTLE carried away?" Sam couldn't help chuckling as he hauled one of their suitcases off the carousel. "I thought you two were going to end up on the floor soon!"

"Next time," Sebastian winked, slipping an arm around Blaine's waist.

Blaine slipped his arms around Sebastian and snuggled up against his chest. He looked up at him through his lashes even as he tried to scold. "Oh, you…"

Sebastian smiled down at him fondly, his hand reaching up to rub the back of Blaine's neck.

"Oh for crissake…" Rob said, looking first at one and then the other. He arched an eyebrow at Sebastian, "You and I are going to have to renegotiate terms…"

* * *

Sebastian Smythe worshipped beauty. A reverence for sensory magnificence ran back at least 100 years in his family on both sides, manifesting itself in the current generation most notably in his father's multimillion dollar art collection and his mother's choice to become a painter. For Sebastian it was evidenced in his impeccable grooming and his appreciation of beautiful music, architecture, photography, art, clothes, accessories, and cars. He also had a tendency to befriend the genetically blessed, the most obvious example being his very close, undeniably stunning friend Santana Lopez. Truth be told, he enjoyed being with her not only because she was honest, smart, and amusing; but also at least in some small part because he thought she was lovely to look at. Of course he rarely told her as much, in an attempt to keep her ego under control.

[](http://imgur.com/UdRTBDk)

Above all else however, Sebastian's love of beauty was epitomized most clearly in the faces and bodies of the many gorgeous men with whom he had shared a bed. There had been tow-headed, strawberry and honey blondes; brunettes, black haired, red-headed, and even silver-haired men of many ethnicities and walks of life; men with lithe baseball players' bodies, those with the biceps and thighs of NFL players and everything in between; square jawed matinee idol types, bad boy punks, long haired artists and prep school brethren. There had been a very diverse array of boys and men, each exquisite in their own way.

And then there was Blaine Anderson. Sebastian had come to grasp that his love for Blaine had developed almost entirely due to Blaine's inner beauty, but that didn't stop him from appreciating the fact that of all the incredibly hot men he had bedded in his life, Blaine was the most beautiful of all.

Beginning with the eyelashes. They seriously did him in every time. If he was fey he would be sighing and leaning his face on one hand. Beautifully black and lush, they looked unreal, like what most girls have to glue on to adhere to the current trend.

[](http://imgur.com/c0xUaQG)

The dark, curling lashes framed and contrasted dramatically with the ever-changing hazel eyes. The eyes that pierced or sparkled and grew more golden or greener or a richer shade of dark hazel depending on the moment.

Regardless of color, what he appreciated most about those eyes was the sincerity in them. Whether he was excited or hopeful, angry or nervous, fearful or joyful…it was all real. One of the best things about Blaine was that there wasn't one false note in those eyes. It's what made him a terrible liar. You could read him through those eyes, or at least know when something was up. Those eyes never lied, and perhaps that is what made them the most beautiful eyes Sebastian had ever seen.

Then there was Blaine's bone structure. Sebastian recognized that some (including Blaine himself) might find Cooper's chiseled features and bright blue eyes more perfect, but Sebastian found an artistry to Blaine's face that made it beautiful in a much more interesting way. Maybe someday Sebastian would commission Jay to sculpt Blaine's face: foremost the sexy jawline and the strong chin he secretly envied; the handsome but not-too-perfect nose; the cheekbones that were gracefully high but not too angular.

His other features were also intriguingly complementary: the thick, well groomed but not overplucked brows; the flawless soft skin that was such a uniquely gorgeous hue; the perfect lips. Those lips. Not too thin, not too full. Delicate pink, sometimes almost red...those lips.

Fuck, those lips. Was he really starting to get a hard-on just by staring at those lips?

Rob nudged him. "Yo, Mr. Muggle!"

Sam and Blaine chuckled appreciatively at this brilliant wit.

"Huh?" Sebastian sat up straighter and snapped out of his reverie as the object of his admiration broke into laughter before giving him a teasing look of reproach. "Are you even listening?" Blaine asked, cocking his head and looking at him with loving amusement.

"Look alive, Smythe!" Sam teased.

Sebastian shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "You guys have been droning on and on about Ho-Hum Hogwarts for so long, I spaced out…so sue me. It was either daydream a little," he gave Blaine a meaningful look, "or blow my brains out."

Sam smirked. "We were just saying that if Blaine is Harry Potter, then that makes you..."

Sebastian held up his hand lazily and interrupted. "First of all, you mean if Blaine _played_ Harry Potter. The slippery relationship you all have with reality when you get in this zone is disturbing. Second of all, NO I would not play Ginny. In your little Harry Potter alternate universe, I'm more than happy for Hummel to cross-dress as Sam's little sister and be Blaine's beard. If you must insert me in this circus, then I would have to play some devastatingly handsome and brilliant Slytherin who seduces Harry before he comes out of the closet as a bisexual and burns the house down in the yet-to-be-written eighth book."

Blaine burst out with a laugh. "I didn't know you knew Ginny and Harry end up together! You said you only read the first book! And you remembered about Slytherin!"

"As if I haven't been around you and Sam enough to gather that," Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Of course I have picked up a few things by unwilling osmosis," he said, wrinkling his nose and sniffing. "Handkerchief?" he asked of Blaine.

Blaine pulled a spotless Brooks Brothers handkerchief out and handed it over with an admonishing nod. "You're officially not allowed to tease me about carrying handkerchiefs anymore." He added with a worried look, "Are you sick? You seem tired."

Sebastian blew his nose but shook his head as he tucked the handkerchief away. "No, it's probably just allergies from dust on the plane or pollens here." He added with a smirk, "Or maybe I'm allergic to Sam's cologne. Damn, did you bathe in that stuff, Evans? And what the hell is it, Eau de Sewage Plant?"

Sam ignored Sebastian and enthused to Rob and Blaine, "It's Harry Potter Cologne! From designyourownperfume dot com. I answered some questions to find out which was the perfect scent to complement my Harry Potter personality."

"So does it smell like Flobber Worms, Blast-ended Skrewts, or Hippo-griffs?" Rob asked with a crooked grin.

"You guys have to actually speak English. You are starting to scare the shit out of me." Sebastian leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "I don't think I'm going to make it this whole week. I'm going to find Meatbox in Hawaii or go be a fifth wheel to Snix and Dani." He pulled the handkerchief out again to dab at his nose and pout at Blaine.

Blaine stuck out a sympathetic lower lip. "Poor Seb. Okay, enough with the convention talk, let's plan out the week."

After receiving approving nods all around, he continued. "So tonight we can go to bed early…"

"What?" Sebastian interrupted. "On the first night of Spring Break? No way. Let's go raise the roof somewhere."

Blaine looked at him with concern, "Seb, we're all tired from our flights. Sam and I had layovers, we travelled for fourteen hours today. And you look even more tired than we do…"

"Thanks," Sebastian said sarcastically, wiping his nose with the handkerchief again.

Blaine furrowed his brow. "And if your allergies are bothering you…"

"Remember I plan to keep a vigorous napping schedule in place all week to rejuvenate myself. Don't worry about me, Killer." Sebastian reassured him. "And if you're too beat, fine, we don't have to go dancing. But can we at least grab a drink or two tonight before you get completely sucked into your Dweeb Jamboree? Plus, you and Sam owe me three songs a night on your guitars. I say you take them down to the pool and we pick up some girls for Sammy and Rob. "

"Okay, NOW I forgive you for making us come to this fancy-schmancy restaurant," grinned Sam.

"I don't," Rob remarked with a half smile. "Who wears a jacket and tie to dinner on spring break?"

"We've been eating nothing but crap dorm and campus restaurant food for two weeks, Rob. We had to eat well at least the first night," Sebastian reasoned. Blaine thought he even detected a note of apology in Sebastian's voice. Sebastian Smythe was not big on apologies. Blaine had never seen him like this with anyone else – it was adorable.

Rob's phone buzzed and he pulled it out. "Hey mom, can you hold on for a second?" As he stood up, he pointed at Blaine and Sam." If the dessert comes, don't let Sebastian eat mine. He never orders any and then ends up eating mine. Then any girl that is looking at me in a restaurant instantly thinks I'm gay."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You always think girls are looking at you. You're not as hot as you think you are."

Rob waved a dismissive hand at him before going towards the hallway near the restrooms.

"Aw, you guys are so cute," Blaine said with a smile. "I just love him. You could not have gotten any luckier to get him as a roommate."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "He seems cool. Super patient and mellow...like a real good guy. You did get lucky, Seb."

Sebastian nodded, "Rob's not so bad."

Blaine looked at Sebastian with affection. "You know you're not going to lose us completely once the convention starts. But yes, I'm game to go out for a drink tonight. Though maybe we can go back to the hotel to finish unpacking, first? I didn't get to finish before dinner. While we're in our rooms we can rest a little, too, then maybe go out for drinks at 10? You should lie down for a little while."

Sebastian sniffed again and drank some water. "Sure, ten is fine." He reached across the table to pat Blaine's cheek. "But stop worrying about me, little B."

Sam's phone buzzed. "It's attack of the moms!" he said, chuckling as he got up to take the call.

Blaine and Sebastian smiled softly across the table at each other. "It's just you and me then, Killer," Sebastian said. He patted the seat in the booth next to him.

Sebastian blew his nose again as Blaine settled himself in Rob's seat, snuggling up against Sebastian with a shiver. "It's so cold in here! I don't know how Sam could order ice cream."

" You're always cold, B." Sebastian put his arm around him and rubbed his arm to warm him up. The waitress arrived with dessert and Sebastian picked up a delicate spoon.

"Seb, stop it! I don't want to fail miserably the first time Rob asks me to do something."

"I'm only taking one little taste," Sebastian said with an innocent smile, scooping out a generous spoonful of chocolate mousse with one hand.

Blaine snuggled into him. "Well I want a taste too, then," he said with an impish smile.

Sebastian fed him a bit of the decadent dessert and Blaine nibbled at it, then licked his lips. "That is heavenly."

Sebastian finished the spoonful and dug for more. "If he whines I'll order him another one." He fed Blaine first again but forgot about having the rest as he stopped to admire Blaine's handsome profile.

Blaine turned his head and Sebastian looked down into the beautiful hazel eyes and tuned his voice low and soft. "Having you here sure beats a Skype call, Killer."

"I missed you so much," Blaine said, looking up at him lovingly. "You know I was telling Sam on the plane that I don't know how I'm going to get through this week without…"

"I know," Sebastian said, smiling. "I told Rob that if he could keep us from sleeping together, I'd pay him a handsome sum."

Blaine said softly, "That's appropriate...because you're so handsome," he drew a finger along Sebastian's jawline.

"Well, aren't you the smooth talker," Sebastian said with a smirk. "I thought you just finished telling me I look like a haggard wreck."

"I said no such thing. I just said you look tired. But your handsomeness overcomes the tired."

"All that charm will get you…well, frankly it will get you in bed with me if we're not careful."

Blaine gave him a coy smile. "I know. But you can't cut me off from flirting. I need some outlet for my affections."

Sebastian warmed at the statement. "Hey, you're talking to the flirting virtuoso here, you won't get objection from me." He couldn't resist kissing Blaine on the temple, but then looked a little guilty. "Oh sorry, we said no kissing." He shrugged and proffered up an innocent smile. " I wasn't thinking. You were just being so friggin' adorable."

Blaine snuggled into him some more. "Oh, that was nothing. I give Tina little pecks like that. A little peck here and there never hurt anyone."

Sebastian looked pleased. "Yeah, I guess that's no big deal. A little peck," he kissed the top of Blaine's head, "is no big thing."

"Yeah," Blaine smiled at him. "Little pecks," he turned to kiss Sebastian on the cheek, "are not a problem," he pecked at Sebastian's jawline, "at all." He pulled back to look up at him. "Hey, did you shave before dinner? You're so soft and smooth!"

Sebastian smiled at him fondly. "We're eating at a posh place and it's my first dinner with you in over three months. Of course I shaved."

Blaine smiled at the sweet gesture. "Aww, Seb." He kissed him on the cheek again. His cheek really was so soft and warm. It brought back memories of many, many kisses he had placed there during their last night together in Ohio.

Sebastian was having a similar flashback. He leaned down to kiss Blaine on the cheek as well.

"Nope, all this dim lighting in here has been camouflaging your seven o'clock shadow. Apparently you didn't think enough of me to shave," he said with a toss of his head.

"You told me you like a little stubble on me!" Blaine protested.

Sebastian smiled at him. "Oh, that's right." He leaned down and kissed the cheek again experimentally. "Well, will you look at that. I do like you with a bit of prickly. It makes you taste a little spicy." He leaned down again to nibble on Blaine's ear. "But here," he nibbled again, "is where I can always find a little velvety goodness."

His breath on Blaine's neck made him shiver and laugh softly. "Seb!"

"Oh come now, those were just pecks, too." Sebastian said, and Blaine could hear the smirk in his voice.

Blaine looked up at him and found Sebastian not smirking anymore. "We shouldn't…"

"Sorry," Sebastian replied in a serious tone. Blaine was sure Sebastian was sorry, yet he didn't look overly apologetic, or guilty, or teasing. His eyes were just looking down at him fondly, softly... lovingly. He looked irresistible. So what Blaine did next was definitely not a peck, if the blood rushing straight to the right places was any indication. There were a few brief, fleeting, questioning thoughts, but they were lost in soft lips, the taste of chocolate mousse, the probing wet heat of Sebastian licking into his mouth, Blaine's hand on Sebastian's lapel and Sebastian's arm tightening around Blaine.

The spoon dropped on the table with a clatter and the other arm came around Blaine's waist and pulled him still closer.

"Alright you two, time for a little chat." Rob sat down with a mild expression and crossed his arms.

Sebastian looked amused and Blaine looked abashed as they extracted themselves from the kiss. Blaine remained in the circle of Sebastian's arm, looking like the convicted awaiting punishment.

Sam approached the table with a questioning look.

Rob looked up at him to explain. "Yes, if you think you saw these two going at it from across the room, you saw right." He was unable to repress a small smile as he turned to Sebastian and Blaine with an amused look on his face. "Look, it's fine with me if you two sex like bunnies all week, but I just want to check in and confirm that you have definitely changed your mind about the sleeping together thing?"

"Yeah? Have you?" Sam chimed in, sitting down next to Rob.

Sebastian and Blaine looked at each other guiltily.

Sebastian gave the slightest shrug and took a deep breath, looking away. "I don't know. Maybe it was an unrealistic goal."

Blaine looked at him with a guilty expression. "I don't think it's unrealistic if we make more of an effort. I'm sorry, that was my bad."

"Well, I was the one who nibbled on your ear," Sebastian pointed out.

"Ugh, we don't need the details, man." Sam grimaced and Sebastian had to smile at him.

Blaine patted Sebastian's arm. "We both just got carried away again. I mean, we are obviously very attracted to each other, and we care about each other very much and we haven't seen each other for over three months...of course it was easy for us to get swept up in our feelings. But maybe we just needed to get that out of our system."

Sebastian was looking between Blaine and Rob with a guilty expression. He let out a deep breath. "Yeah, maybe." He pulled out the handkerchief as he sniffed again.

Blaine summoned strength for both of them and spoke to the group. "But from here on out, I think if we make more of an effort, we are both more than capable of keeping things from getting too intimate. And yesterday, that's what we decided we want. After all, we both remember how difficult it was to say goodbye at winter break and how hard it was when we got back to school," He gave Sebastian a pointed look.

Sebastian set his mouth in a straight line and nodded faintly. He looked bravely at Rob.

Rob saw the pain in Sebastian's eyes and didn't have the heart to tease or reprimand. "Okay then, if you haven't changed your minds, you guys need to help us out here so we can do our jobs," he said. "I think the best way to think about this is that all four of us are on a team. A team to help you two from doing something you might regret. Something that would cause undue distress at the end of the week at the airport."

"Yes, we don't want a weepy goodbye," Blaine said with a tentative smile for Sebastian.

Sebastian was still looking sober.

Sam said sympathetically, "Yeah, Rob is right. This won't work if you two think it's us against you."

'Us against you and your libidos," Rob smiled before he continued in his no-nonsense tone. "So help us out here – at what point should Sam and I be intervening? Let's talk about what it means for you two to get carried away. For example, what just happened here? Break it down for me, Seb."

Sebastian replied in the same manner he had used to explain advanced calculus to Rob. "We were talking and Blaine was being…well he was being very Blaine-like. Which led to me impulsively kissing him on the side of the head." He added, as if it would help, "In the temple area."

"Just a peck!" Blaine piped in.

Sebastian nodded gravely. "Yes, just a peck, which we agreed was okay, and we were joking around about it…"

"And then I kissed him on the cheek, also a peck." Blaine confessed. "But then I did it again on his jaw."

"And then as usual I pushed the boundary a bit with the ear nibbling…" Sebastian said, looking ambivalent.

"And then I got carried away and I kissed him," Blaine said, blushing.

"On the lips," clarified Sebastian. "And that time it definitely was not just a peck," he couldn't repress a smirk as he glanced at Sam.

"Yeah, I guess once it's on the lips it's easy to get carried away." Blaine finished, blushing.

Sebastian turned to Sam to tease, "It was pretty hot. Blaine's a great kisser, he really knows how to…"

" I told you I didn't want details! " Sam groaned as Sebastian laughed at him. "Blaine, come on, make him stop - what if Seb was making you imagine Cooper in bed with some chick."

"Ugh..." Blaine shuddered. He swatted at Sebastian and then patted Sam's hand. "Sorry, Sam. But Rob did want to us to explain what happened. But at least now you can see how it can start out innocently enough, but then get out of hand. It's not like we were just acting like depraved animals who spontaneously start attacking each other in public."

"That's more descriptive of what happened at the airport," smirked Sebastian.

Rob chuckled. "So is that like the point of no return for you two? The kissing? Or did we break it up too soon?"

Sebastian smiled broadly. "What do you mean, 'point of no return'? Like at what point would it take the National Guard to keep us from having sex?"

Rob laughed and nodded. "Exactly. Like do you _want_ to be able to make out but not have sex? Can you stop yourselves? And even if you think you can make-out and stop yourselves before you get carried away, is there somewhere on the make-out spectrum where we need to parachute in as needed? When we see shirts coming off? Or as early as your hand migrating south?"

Blaine laughed. "You're so clinical about this!"

"Rob was almost pre-med," Sebastian smiled at Blaine. He turned back to Rob, taking a deep breath as he tried to also look at the situation practically. "I would say break us up once we start kissing. Because it's only a matter of seconds before kissing becomes making out with us. And given our history, I'd say if I get my hand on Blaine's ass we're on a bullet train for the bedroom."

Blaine hid his face in Sebastian's shoulder in embarrassment.

Rob asked seriously, "So no kissing at all."

Sebastian held up a hand. "No, I mean kissing beyond a peck. Pecks should be fine. Cuddling should be fine."

"You're a cuddler?" Sam teased.

"Shut up," Sebastian said without taking his eyes off of Rob. " But I would say, if you can keep us from kissing where Blaine's talented tongue is involved…"

Sam groaned and slumped in his chair.

"…you'll keep us from ending up naked in bed."

Sam whined, "Stop! I don't want to picture you two naked in bed together!"

Sebastian grinned at him cheekily, "Then it's good you weren't in my head during the last couple of months at bedtime."

Blaine blushed but couldn't repress a smile.

Rob nodded gravely. "Okay, then. But I think we should revisit this as needed. I'm not entirely sure cuddling and pecking are ever the end of the line for you two. At least when it's been three months since you have gotten to maul at each other. We'll see. In the meantime, Sam and I will keep a close eye and calibrate what that point of no return really is." He turned to Sam, whose face was in his hands. "You up for it, soldier?"

"What?" Sam's head popped up. "Sorry, I was running the Green Lantern movie in my head to get rid of the image of Sebastian and Blaine naked in bed."

* * *

Rob's phone sounded and he said without looking up from his magazine, "Your turn."

Sam rolled his eyes and tossed his comic book on the lobby sofa before walking outside to the pool area. He returned a few minutes later to say, "Blaine's not even batting his eyelashes yet and Seb hasn't gotten an arm around him yet."

Rob looked up at him gravely. "Did you time the eye contact?"

"Range is only between 3-8 seconds."

"Hip distance?"

"Still a good 2 feet, but the neck of the guitar could be a factor."

"Nah, Seb would get behind the guitar if he wanted to. I think we can give them eight more minutes." Rob looked back down at his magazine.

Sam's eyes narrowed. "I'd say five, to be safe. Remember you said eight at the bar and they were okay until only until six point five? Plus Seb's got a look in his eye that I think is trouble - it's not measurable, but I just have a hunch..."

"I trust your gut, you've been around those two longer than me. Five minutes it is, I'm setting the timer."

"But remember it's your turn next."

"Roger that. "

* * *

They sat in comfortable silence as Blaine sat sideways on a flattened out chaise lounge tuning his guitar. Sebastian sat next to him, leaning back on his hands.

Blaine finally spoke up with an easy smile. "You know I kept thinking that I couldn't wait to see you so we could finally catch up in person, but…"

Sebastian nodded, pulling the handkerchief out to dab at his nose. "I know, I don't know where to start. I've got nothing." His eyes were soft as he admired Blaine's profile.

"Yeah...but it's not awkward. You would think it would be awkward," mused Blaine, forgetting which string he had just tuned again. "I guess it's just nice to just BE together. Doing nothing."

"Maybe I'm just too exhausted to be awkward," Sebastian said with a yawn. "If that guitar wasn't in your lap, my head would be."

Blaine stole a sly sideways glance at him. "Well you _did_ say that we wrote so many letters and Skyped so much that we'd have nothing left to do but flirt."

"I guess I'm also too exhausted to flirt," Sebastian replied briskly, pulling an ottoman up.

There was a pause and they both chuckled. Sebastian smirked as he propped his legs up on the ottoman and leaned back on his hands again. "Was that the first time that I cut YOUR flirting off?"

"I think so," Blaine said with a smile.

"Damn I AM tired. Is this why old people don't have as much sex? I always thought it was because of how they looked."

Blaine gave him a mirthful glance. "You don't want to know the answer to that question."

"You're right, keep me in the dark until I'm actually old. Anyway I don't plan to be this tired ever again. I've never been as much of an idiot as I was this quarter."

"You weren't an idiot," Blaine soothed, gripping his guitar with one hand and leaning over to touch Sebastian's arm with the other. "You're just still figuring stuff out. And that's okay, that's an important part of being a freshman...that's an important part of being human." He reached up to smooth Sebastian's hair. "What matters is that you learned from it, and you didn't just survive, you did your best and you walked away with a regionals trophy, a lacrosse division championship and six summer offers, including an internship at Google! You should be beyond proud of yourself."

Blaine gestured upwards and next to them at the pool. "And now you get to relax. You earned your way to paradise here at the Ritz Carlton...look at all these palm trees! Look at that beautiful swimming pool!"

[](http://imgur.com/L6m6p4A)

Sebastian sat up and pulled the handkerchief out again.

"Here. You should burn that one," Blaine said, handing Sebastian a clean handkerchief from his pocket. "I got a fresh one when I stopped by the room for my guitar. I really think you might be sick."

"I'm not sick," said Sebastian. He got up and lifted Blaine's feet up to pivot his legs onto the chaise lounge. Then he sat back down and leaned up against Blaine, back-to-back, and slouched until he could rest his head on Blaine's shoulder. "I'm just tired and I want to hear the three songs you owe me."

Blaine adjusted his posture to play properly and support Sebastian's weight. He said fondly over his shoulder,"Poor baby. This all must feel surreal to you. I've never seen anyone work as hard as you did this quarter. But you've really made it to the other side - it's real! There's nowhere to rush off to next, I don't have to go to bed right away, you don't have to get to a meeting or a class. I don't have an audition or a performance to prep for and you don't have homework or rehearsal or practice to run off to. It's glorious, I get you all to myself. And I'm all yours."

Sebastian smiled softly and looked up at the trees with half-closed eyelids.

…

Sam heard the opening bars of a familiar tune on Blaine's guitar. "Blaine must be done tuning," he said, grabbing his own case along with his comic book.

Rob stood up with him and they walked outside. After a few steps Rob paused and held Sam back by the shoulder when they spied their roommates sitting back to back under the moonlight.

Sam's expression sweetened. " Awww..look at them! "

Rob broke into a small smile. "Mraz is Seb's favorite," he said under his breath.

"No," Sam replied with a grin. " Blaine is Seb's favorite. "

_[Hear "I'm Yours" on_ _our YouTube playlist_ _: keyword search I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine]_

_But I won't hesitate_  
_No more, no more._  
_It cannot wait,  
_ _I'm yours._

_Well, open up your mind and see like me,_  
_Open up your plans and damn you're free._  
_Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love, love._  
  
_Listen to the music of the moment, people dance and sing, we're just one big family_  
_And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved, loved_  
_So I won't hesitate_  
_No more, no more._  
_It cannot wait,  
_ _I'm sure._

_There's no need to complicate._  
_Our time is short._  
_This is our fate,  
_ _I'm yours._

Sebastian turned around to sing the next line with a sweet smile Rob had never seen before:

_Do you want to come on, scootch on over closer, dear  
_ _And I will nibble your ear_

Blaine stood up to walk around the deck and to sing the rest of the song to Sebastian, gathering even more attention from their fellow guests than they already had:

_I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror_  
_And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer_  
_But my breath fogged up the glass_  
_And so I drew a new face and I laughed._  
  
_I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason_  
_To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons._  
_It's what we aim to do.  
_ _Our name is our virtue._

_But I won't hesitate_  
_No more, no more._  
_It cannot wait,  
_ _I'm yours._

Blaine finished the last note and sat down next to Sebastian on the lounge chair. Their eyes twinkled at each other as the guests around them burst into applause. Blaine put his guitar down on the chair next to him.

Sebastian's arm came around Blaine's waist.

Rob chuckled, "I'd say we're at about T minus 30"

Sam whispered urgently, "What do you wanna do?"

Sebastian leaned his chin on Blaine's hair and murmured something.

Rob looked amused but Sam didn't notice. Rob counted in his head: _25, 24, 23...  
_

Sam hissed, "Rob, are you okay? What should we do?"

Rob murmured something Sam couldn't make out.

Blaine snuggled into Sebastian's arms and looked up at him through his lashes.

Sebastian stole a look around them to see who might be watching.

"Trying to sneak a quickie, Seb?" Rob chuckled softly under his breath.

Sam dropped his guitar case and ran out to the pool deck.

Rob's mouth dropped open.

"CANNONBALL!" Sam shouted as he leapt into the pool.

Sebastian and Blaine jerked their heads up in surprise to see a giant splash. Other hotel guests nearby scattered in alarm.

Rob dropped the guitar case, comic book and magazine on the chaise lounge next to Sebastian, who was doubled over laughing as Blaine hurried to get a towel from the cabana area.

Sam emerged, out of breath, hair plastered all over his face .

Rob offered a hand to help him out of the water. "I was thinking of just walking over and patting Blaine on the shoulder."

Blaine handed him a towel. "Oh Sam, please say your phone wasn't in your pocket."

Sam's face fell.

Sebastian came over, still chuckling. "I'll buy you a new one, Sammy. The German judge is giving you a 9.8 for technique."

…

By the end of the evening, Blaine was playing lead and Sam played rhythm guitar while Rob and Sebastian sipped scotch and smoked joints bummed from vacationing prep school boys they m et poolside. Sam and Blaine snuck a few hits as well, because after all, Blaine reasoned to himself, you couldn't sing this song without having a little something in your system. They sang lustily, hallucinating that Blaine's acoustic guitar had transformed into an electric one:

 _[Hear the song "With a Little Help from My Friends" from the_ Across the Universe _soundtrack on_ _our YouTube playlist_ _: keyword search I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine]_

_Blaine [with an overdramatic flourish]:_  
_What would you do if I sang outta tune?_  
_Would you stand up and walk out on me?_  
_Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song  
_ _And I'll try not to sing outta key_

_O, I get by with a little help from my friends_

_Sam [dancing around Blaine]:  
_ _He gets high with a little help from his friends_

_Blaine:  
_ _O, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends_

_What do I do when my love is away_

_Rob [raising his eyebrows]:  
_ _Does it worry you to be alone_

_Blaine:  
_ _How do I feel by the end of the day_

_Sebastian [pouting]:  
_ _Are you sad because you're on your own_

_All:_

_I get by with a little help from my friends_  
_Yea, I get high with a little help from my friends  
_ _O, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends_

_Sam [quirking an eyebrow]:  
_ _Do you need anybody?_

_Blaine:  
_ _I need somebody to love_

_Rob [shrugging]:  
_ _Could it be anybody?_

_Blaine:  
_ _I want somebody to love_

_All:  
_ _Would you believe in a love at first sight_

_Sebastian [winking]:  
_ _Ya I'm certain that it happens all the time_

_All:  
_ _What do you see when you turn out the lights?_

_Blaine:  
_ _I can't tell ya but I know its mine_

_All:_  
_O, I get by with a little help from my friends_  
_Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends  
_ _O, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends_

_All except Blaine:  
_ _Do you need anybody?_

_Blaine:  
_ _I need somebody to love_

__All except Blaine__ :  
_Could it be anybody?_  
__  
Ooohh  
_Oooh_

_All:_  
_O, I get by with a little help from my friends_  
_Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends_  
_O, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends  
_ _O, I get by with a little help from my friends_

_Blaine:_  
_I get by with a little help from my friends  
_ _I get by with a little help_

_All:  
_ _From my friends_

* * *

"Go away Cooper...keep that juice the hell away from me," Sebastian slurred, his face half buried in the pillow.

Rob laughed. "What juice? What?"

Sebastian opened one eye halfway. "Ehh? You go away, too."

"Get up Seb," Rob said, grabbing him by the shoulder and shaking him.

"It's too early," Sebastian groaned.

"It's 11AM. You're never going to adjust to the time difference if you don't get up."

"By the time I do, it will be time to go back to Stanford."

"Hmm, you do have a point." Rob thought out loud. "I guess you don't have to adjust to go to convention sessions early tomorrow. And it would mean you'll have more energy to stay up late every night. Though I think you'll have that energy no matter what if you sleep by the pool all day. But if you don't get up you'll miss the breakfast they stop serving at 11:30 at the restaurant downstairs."

Sebastian wasn't budging.

"We can get your coffee, I noticed that they sell courvoisier in the lobby gift shop," Rob coaxed.

Nothing.

Sam was standing by the door in his swim trunks, scrolling through Sebastian's IPad music library. "Blaine's in aerobics right now wearing those green shorts. And you can see the class from poolside through a plate glass wall."

Sebastian sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. "I'm up. Getting up."

* * *

"Yoga is so good for you. Just hold that position for 60 more seconds."

"B, I can't do it the same way as you. My center of gravity is different than yours, I'm taller than you."

"That has nothing to do with anything." Blaine pointed a few rows over. "Look at Sam, he's right there in front of us. He is almost as tall as you and he's balancing in a triangle with perfect ease."

Sebastian jerked his thumb behind them. "Look at Rob, he's right there behind us. He's almost as tall as me and he's lying in a cabana with a perfect mai tai."

"You said your coach wants you to work on your flexibility. This is the best way to do it. And it will help with your stress, too."

Sebastian wobbled some more. "You're gonna regret making me do this when I fall and crush you."

"Stop talking, yoga is about serenity and mindfulness."

"I'm mindful that I can't do this much longer."

"Make it to one minute and I'll give you a massage later."

"Back, including my ass?"

"Legs, that is what we're stretching," Blaine arched an eyebrow at him as he counted. "21, 22..."

"Including the groin area?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Fine. Why is everything a negotiation with you? 28, 29..."

Sebastian tumbled down. "There, I made it to 30, that's halfway, so you have to feel up one of my legs."

"That's NOT a MASSAGE."

Sebastian smirked and gave him a peck on the cheek before turning around to lay down in the chaise lounge next to Rob's, just behind Blaine.

"My life has gotten a lot more Richard Branson since I met you," Rob said as he looked out at some bikini clad girls, sipping his mai tai.

"You can't go wrong at the Ritz," Sebastian said with satisfaction, leaning back with his hands behind his head and admiring his view of Blaine's backside.

"That orange juice is for you," Rob said, gesturing to a glass between them. "I thought you might not want to drink during the day, to detox. You really beat yourself up at the end of the quarter, bro."

Sebastian gave a slight nod of thanks and sipped from the glass.

Rob added, "I shouldn't have taken four classes, either. If I wasn't so psyched about this convention I'd be sleeping in all week, too. Too bad we only get a week off this time," he groaned. "I wish we had two weeks off like at Christmas."

"Don't talk about it," Sebastian said, setting his glass down and throwing an arm over his eyes. "It's going to go so fast and then it's going to suck so hard."

Blaine was doing a tree pose but he turned to wink at them.

"What's going to suck, starting classes again or leaving Blaine?" Rob asked, thinking out loud. "Don't answer that...stupid question. Both."

Sebastian let out an almost imperceptible sigh. He pulled out a pack of Kleenex and blew his nose. "At least Karen is on campus, you lucky bastard."

"What are you talking about?"

"Leave the bashful schoolboy business to Blaine. I'm on to you, Cyrano."

Rob didn't deny it but he didn't say anything else, either.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at his roommate. "What, has all that alcohol from partying with the band impaired your vision permanently? She's into you - she hasn't given any other guy the time of day and she's always asking me about you. Y ou could do a lot worse. She's cute, not too boring and not a diva or otherwise annoying."

"Leave it alone, Seb."

"Fine, I'll leave it alone." Sebastian said mildly. "But fifty bucks says she asks me what we did on spring break. And by 'we' she'll mean 'you. ' " He sniffed and wiped his nose again.

Rob just took another sip of his mai tai.

Blaine went into a downward dog position.

"Fuck," Sebastian groaned. "It's just like that godforsaken Twister game again, except with foam blocks and chanting ."

Rob laughed. "What Twister game?"

"Santana's stupid ploy to get me and Blaine horny at New Year's so we'd kiss," Sebastian groused, before sipping more orange juice.

Rob put his mouth in a straight line so he wouldn't laugh. He was very fond of Santana.

"Yes, it worked." Sebastian rolled his eyes before watching Blaine sit down in the final pose of the class. He looked over at Rob. "Hey. We never talked about all this since I only had time to text you. Tell me straight. Do you think Blaine and I are being stupid to not sleep together this week?"

"It doesn't matter what I think," Rob replied. "Why are you second guessing yourself all of sudden?" He chuckled. "Downward dog do that much for you?"

Sebastian grabbed another Kleenex and blew his nose. "I don't know...Blaine says we shouldn't do it because it will make us closer, and that will make it harder when we have to say goodbye. And because it will make it harder to be apart next quarter..."

Rob didn't say anything.

Sebastian's brow furrowed. "I just don't know how much closer we could possibly get. I' m practically suffocating. Not in a bad way - that's not the right word. I'm just... it's...I don't know how I could possibly...care about him any more. And I'm thinking he, I think he…"

"He's in love with you," Rob cut in reassuringly. "I've been there, I've seen love before. Blaine is in love with you. Believe me, man ."

Sebastian hoped that he was right. "Sometimes I feel like we're just denying ourselves for no reason. I mean it's going to suck no matter what when we say goodbye and when we go back to school. I don't see how it could possibly suck any harder than it did when I came back for winter quarter - I like, barely wanted to get out of bed at first. So unless he tells me we should only email once a week and Skype every other week or something, I don't see how it could possibly be worse. So why shouldn't we have some fun while we're together?"

"Talk to him about it," Rob said reasonably. "Sex means different things to different people, Seb."

Before Sebastian could respond, Blaine came over, mopping his brow with a towel. "You really should have done the whole class," he wagged a finger at Sebastian. "I feel amazing."

Sebastian shrugged. "Exercise classes are not my thing. I don't like people telling me how to workout."

"What do you call your coach barking at you?" Blaine laughed.

Rob chuckled.

"That's different," Sebastian rolled his eyes and stood up, grabbing another Kleenex to blow his nose again.

"Did you take the allergy medicine I left on your pillow?" Blaine asked.

"No. I don't like to have unnecessary chemicals in my system, you know that."

"What do you call the marijuana and scotch you put away last night?" Blaine teased.

"You are quite the smart alec for someone who's supposed to be blissed out and zen after yoga," Sebastian smacked Blaine's ass. "Anyway, this will go away, it's usually just the first day or two when I'm in a new place - my sinuses adjust somehow."

"I've never heard of anything like that," Blaine furrowed his brow. "I still think you caught a cold on the plane."

"I'm not sick. I never get sick," Sebastian said, stripping off his t-shirt. "I'm going for a swim, you want to come?"

Blaine looked torn. "We wanted to leave pretty soon for the convention, I don't know if I'll have time to …"

Sebastian could see Blaine's eyes hungrily taking in his body. He smirked and took Blaine's hand. "Come on, Sexy. Just a quick dip. It'll be fast. If you come I'll even get out with you and drive you guys over so you don't have to take a cab."

"I guess if it will be quick," Blaine said, a sweet smile spreading over his face. He was enjoying the handholding, and of course the upper body that looked even hotter than he remembered.

"I know you want the chance to be wet and half naked with me, come on…" Sebastian dragged him off.

"I'm sending Sam in after you if we see any funny business," Rob called after them.

When they reached the edge of the pool Blaine turned back. "We forgot towels, silly. I'll go get some."

As he walked along the pool Blaine watched with admiring eyes as Sebastian made a graceful dive into the pool. God he was gorgeous. Blaine picked up the towels and watched Sebastian emerge and cut through the crystalline water, doing a lap before Blaine dropped the towels on a lounge and returned to the water's edge. Blaine sat down and put his feet in the water. Sebastian swam up to his right, muscles glistening and eyes looking almost blue set against the color of the water. "It feels fantastic, come on."

"Okay, I like to get in gradually, you know that," Blaine said, swinging his legs out of the water to stand up and head towards the stairs.

"Oh, right, just like at the lake!" Sebastian said loudly, grabbing his right ankle and calf.

"SEB!" Blaine toppled in with a big splash.

Sebastian smiled widely with several fellow swimmers around them.

Blaine shoved him in the shoulder. "This is a new t-shirt!"

"I'll buy you a new one. I love you in a wet t-shirt, especially when you've been working out as much as it looks like you have been," laughed Sebastian, grabbing him by the waist.

"You think your big fat wallet forgives you anything!" Blaine laughed in spite of himself.

"It does with you, usually!"

"It does not!" Blaine broke away and swam over to the shallower water near the stairs, Sebastian's strong arms skimming a backstroke alongside him. He stood up near the stairs and started to peel his shirt off but felt Sebastian's arms coming around him again, stopping him. Blaine felt his body heat up.

"Here, let me do that." Sebastian whispered, brushing wet lips just below his ear. He barely left a gap between their bodies to pull the shirt through. There was no gap between his groin and Blaine's ass. Blaine felt himself begin to harden - it was fantastic.

After he tossed the t-shirt aside, Sebastian sat down on the nearby step and pulled Blaine in his lap. He pressed his slick and solid chest against Blaine's back and put his arms around him to draw him still closer. "God you feel good," he whispered as he bent his head and placed light kisses on the back of Blaine's neck. He teased softly, "I really should have stolen one of your keycards and snuck into your bed last night."

Blaine turned around to kneel on the step, straddling Sebastian's legs and putting his arms around him. "Just so you know, we are never having sex while Sam is sleeping in the next bed."

"I would have paid for another suite and dragged you in there."

Blaine bopped him on the nose playfully. "You smoked more weed than any of us. As if you would have been able to operate a keycard or perform in the manner to which I am accustomed." He laughed merrily. "You couldn't find the elevator button last night!"

Sebastian sniffed. "As if a few joints could keep me from getting to you and performing beyond your expectations…if we would let me," he added with a pout.

Blaine sighed, pulling away and standing up from Sebastian's lap. "Ugh, all flirting aside, are we going to be able to do this?"

Sebastian leaned back against the steps and stretched his sculpted arms along the side of the pool. "Beats me. All I know is that watching you do aerobics and yoga in those tiny shorts is not part of the strategy." He licked his lips.

Blaine gave him a sexy smile. "And neither is you literally looking like Adonis right now…" He ran his hands through his wet curls and his expression turned to one of mild frustration. "Ugh, this sucks."

"Hey," Sebastian leaned towards him to take both his hands and pull him back in his lap. "We're going to be okay. Whatever you want to do. But don't let it ruin your spring break, no matter what." He paused, rubbing the back of Blaine's neck. "And should we maybe think this all over some more? Because it sounds like you're having a hard time with it and believe me, you're not the only one." He pulled Blaine closer again and put his arms around him. "Why don't we both think about it today and meet up tonight and talk about all this again?"

"Hey, break it up, you two. We'd better get upstairs and get ready," Sam appeared behind Sebastian.

"Okay," Blaine said, waving him off. "We're right behind you."

Sam nodded with an indulgent smile and turned to head over towards Rob.

Blaine turned back to Sebastian. "Yeah, maybe we should talk more about it tonight. Maybe after Sam and Rob go to bed?"

"Sure," Sebastian said in a low voice. His eyes looked thoughtful. And sexy.

Blaine got closer and put his arms around Sebastian's neck. He leaned to whisper seductively in Sebastian's ear, "Think HARD about it today, okay?" Then he gave him a peck on the lips that lasted a bit too long and Sebastian felt himself melt a little.

"Harry and Mr. Muggle, out of the water!" Rob called from a few feet away with Sam. "You are dangling on the point of no return!"

* * *

There was a knock at the door. "Seb, I forgot my keycard," Rob called through the door.

Sebastian opened the door, took one look at his three friends, and promptly shut the door in their faces.

The knocking was louder, along with a chorus of voices. "HEY!"

Sebastian reluctantly opened the door again.

"What was that?"

"Fight or flight kicked in," Sebastian said, wiping his nose with a hankerchief and looking at them with revulsion as they trooped past him. "You guys are horrifyingly detailed in your costumes. Sam, I think you were probably better off in the Cheerios uniform than as Little Orphan Annie or whoever you're supposed to be. Guys with your body type really should never try to dress in drag."

"Hey, I'm Ron!"

Blaine laughed, "These costumes are supposed to be over the top! It's HPotterCon!"

"And you, you just earned yourself no sex tonight," Sebastian wagged a playful finger at him.

"We weren't supposed to have sex anyway, naughty Professor Smythe," Blaine said seductively, coming up and wrapping his arms around him. "And I thought you liked the bashful schoolboy thing? The Hogwarts tie isn't so different than the Dalton tie..."

"Sorry, my horny little Harry," Sebastian laughed, pulling Blaine closer against his chest in spite of his words. "The lightning bolt stamped on your forehead and the dorky glasses? Big turnoff. Send over another bashful schoolboy while you're busy with your nerdy nemeses." Blaine smacked him on the chest and made a minor attempt at trying to get out of his arms.

"What, nothing to say for all my splendor?" Rob swept his wizard robes along the carpet.

"For you, Dumbledork? For you I have no words. There just. Are. No. Words," Sebastian said with disgust. He blew his nose. "And that is lucky for you - when Karen asks about spring break I won't be able to describe your..." he gestured vaguely. "Again, no words." He turned and opened the door. "Okay all of you freaks, down to the parking garage. And walk 50 feet in front of me so no one knows you are with me."

Blaine held his hand anyway and Sebastian smiled at him, shaking his head. They all trooped out of the suite in high spirits, even as Sebastian blew his nose and coughed.

Blaine looked up at him with concern. "You have a cough now, too? You are absolutely sick, baby. Go to sleep in the suite after you drop us off."

"I keep telling you, it's just allergies. Smythes don't get sick."

"At least lie in a cabana while we're gone, just in case. You may need your strength," Blaine winked at him. "And I don't want to even give you a peck if you're sick."

"Don't worry, I'm not sick. I don't let myself get sick. Getting sick is for those with a weaker constitution. The pool felt great and I'm going to have a real swim when I get back. It sucked that I had to drop triathlon, I'm going to start training for one in the spring."

Sam had dropped back and fell in step with them. "Hey Ironman, you have a bat in the cave. And Blaine is right, you are definitely sick."

Sebastian gave him a dirty look as he blew his nose. "Lucille Ball, I have not been sick in over three years. I am not sick." He coughed again, earning him pointed looks. "Ask Rob!"

"He hasn't gotten sick since he got to Stanford," Rob shrugged. "But he's definitely icksay now," he said with a wink to Blaine and Sam.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "So pig Latin is the official geekgathering lingua franca?"

"I don't know, but Blaine composed a song last quarter that should be the official anthem!" Sam handed Rob sheets of lyrics printed out in laminated pages. To Sebastian's dismay and the delight of other convention goers in the lobby, Rob, Sam and Blaine sang loudly all the way to the car, and on the agonizingly long (at least to Sebastian) drive to convention:

[hear 'Going Back to Hogwarts' on our YouTube playlist, keyword search: I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine]

_Blaine:_  
_Underneath these stairs_  
_I hear the sneers and feel glares of_  
_My cousin, my uncle and my aunt._  
  
_Can't believe how cruel they are_  
_And it stings my lighting scar_  
_To know that they'll never ever give me what I want._  
  
_I know I don't deserve these_  
_Awful rules made by the Dursleys  
_ _Here on Privet drive._

_Can't take these stupid of these muggles,_  
_But despite all of my struggles,  
_ _I'm still alive._

_I'm sick of summer and this waiting around._  
_Man, it's September, so I'm skipping this town_  
_Hey It's no mystery, there's nothing here for me now_  
  
_I gotta get back to Hogwarts,_  
_I gotta get back to school._  
_I gotta get myself to Hogwarts,_  
_Where everyone thinks I'm cool._  
  
_Back to witches and wizards, and magical beasts,_  
_To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts._  
_It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at_  
_HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, I think I'm going back-_  
  
_I'll see my friends, gonna laugh 'til we cry_  
_Take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky_  
_NO WAY this year anyone's gonna die, and it's gonna be totally awesome_  
  
_I'll cast some spells, with a flick of my wand_  
_Defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on!  
_ _And do it all with my best friend Ron, 'cuz together we're totally awesome_

_Sam:_  
_Yeah, 'cuz together we're totally awesome!  
_ _Did somebody say Ron?_

_Blaine:  
_ _Ron, what are you doing here?_

_Sam:  
_ _Hey man sorry it took so long to get here I had to get some floo powder but, get everything you need and lets get goin'_

_Blaine:  
_ _Where are we goin'?_

_Sam: To Diagon Alley of course_

_Blaine: cool  
_ _*flu powder power flu powder power flu powder power flu powder power*_

_Sam:_  
_It's been so long, but we're going back  
_ _Don''t go for work, don't go there for class_

_Blaine:  
_ _As long as we're together-_

_Sam:  
_ _\- gonna kick some ass_

_Blaine & Sam:_  
_... and it's gonna be totally awesome!_  
_This year we'll take everybody by storm,  
_ _Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorm_

_Rob:_  
_But Hermione says you should perform well in class  
_ _If you want to pass your OWLS!_

_Sam:  
_ _Oh why does Hermione have to be such a buzzkill?_

_Rob:_  
_Because guys school's not all about fun and games you have to study hard If you wanna be good wizards and witches *Argh*_  
_She may be frumpy, but she's super smart_  
_Check out her grades, they're "A's" for a start_  
_What she lacks in looks well she makes up in heart,_  
_And well guys, yeah, that's totally awesome  
_ _This year she'll help you study a lot..._

_Sam:  
_ _That would be cool if she was actually hot_

_Blaine:  
_ _Hey Ron, come on, we're the only friends that she's got!_

_Sam:  
_ _And that's cool..._

_Rob:  
_ _... and that's totally awesome_

_Blaine, Sam, Rob:_

_Yeah it's so cool, and it's totally awesome!_  
_We're sick of summer and this waiting around  
_ _It's like we're sitting in the lost and found_

_Don't take no sorcery  
_ _For anyone to see how..._

_We gotta get back to Hogwarts_  
_We gotta get back to school_  
_We gotta get back to Hogwarts  
_ _Where everything is magic-cooooool_

_Blaine, Sam and Rob:_  
_Back to witches and wizards, and magical beasts_  
_To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts_  
_It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at_  
_HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS  
_ _\- I think we're going back..._

_..._

_Rob:_  
_Welcome, all of you to Hogwarts_  
_I welcome all of you to school_  
_Did you know that here at Hogwarts_  
_We've got a hidden swimming pool?_  
  
_Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts_  
_Welcome, all you hotties, nerds, and tools_  
_Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts  
_ _I'd like to go over just a couple of rules:_

_My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am headmaster of Hogwarts you can all call me Dumbledore. I also suppose you can also call me Albus If you want a detention, no I'm only kidding I'll expell you If you call me Albus._

_Blaine, Sam and Rob:_  
_Back to witches and wizards, and magical beasts_  
_To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts_  
_It's all that I love, and all that I need.  
_ _At HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS_

_Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends_  
_To Gryffindors!_  
_Hufflepuffs!_  
_Ravenclaws!  
_ _Slytherins!_

_Back to the place where our story begins  
_ _It's HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS,_

_Rob:  
_ _I'm sorry, what's its name?_

_Blaine and Sam:  
_ _HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS,_

_Rob:  
_ _I didn't hear you kids!_

_Blaine, Sam and Rob:  
_ _HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS,_

_Blaine [as they pulled up in front of the convention hotel]:  
_ _Man, I'm glad I'm back._

**_Sebastian:  
_ _GET OUT!_**

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed this little puff piece! Did everyone catch that last line in the abridged-but-still-long but always hilarious lyrics of "Goin' Back to Hogwarts"? And a Rachel Berry gold star for anyone who can identify the lyrics that flashed through Seblaine's minds during the opening make-out session scene? You get quite a bit more Robastian in this chapter, curious what your thoughts are about it. Also Robam is developing and of course there's a lot of Seblaine sweetness, hope it suits! Please review to keep us on target and motivated!_


	27. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to Spring Break (whoo hoo!) Where the Boys Are! Seb and Blaine get sexty and when Blaine gets back from the convention Seb doesn't hold back. I lifted some plot directly from a Friends episode in here, any Friends fan can probably figure it out.
> 
> I'm not always sure about chapters when I first draft them, but this one I can safely say I'm pretty happy with...I hope you'll agree. There's a little something for everyone, I'd like to think: sexy stuff, comedy, a little angst, romance, bromance.

_SEB: I want to kiss you right now_

_BLAINE: Well you're cutting straight to the chase :)_

_SEB: When can you come back, without the others? I'm in a cabana by the pool. Or I'll come pick you up. I want a kiss. Just a peck._

_BLAINE: I'm not sure I believe that all you want is a peck ;) And I can't leave, we just got started! We did registration and the exhibits, but the programming is only now beginning. We just sat down. They are doing final set up and mic checks, it's going to start pretty soon so I can't text long  
_

_SEB: So come back in an hour?_

_BLAINE: There's a banquet tonight, I told you. You can't get like this already. It's only day one! You knew it was going to be like this._

_SEB: I didn't know you were going to be so much hotter than I remembered. Your live flirting is way sexier than your electronic flirting_

_BLAINE: You're such a sweet talker. I'll be back tonight, like we said. We have all week to cuddle and steal kisses_

_SEB: But I'm so bored now_

_BLAINE: So you don't want to give me a kiss because you miss me, but because you are bored. I'm so flattered. Go sleep - take one of those vacation naps you love._

_SEB: My wanting to kiss you is separate from my boredom. I did a fast mile in the lap pool and it got my blood pumping so I can't nap._

_BLAINE: Read - your Kindle overfloweth_

_SEB: When my blood is pumping all I want is to pump into you_

_BLAINE: Stop! There is a kid who is probably 11 years old, sitting right next to me! He might see! I want you too but you really need to rest, I really think you caught a cold or a flu, you should nap until I'm finished here._

_SEB: I'll finish you off here. With my hand, my mouth, whatever you want_

_BLAINE: You are a filthy thing :)_

_SEB: I'm clean as a whistle from my swim. But I'm still very, very wet. I can get you wet, with my lips and my tongue, up and down and in between and everywhere_

_BLAINE: You have to stop, you're making me...you know. Anyway, they look like they are about to start the opening keynote. Go sleep so you have energy for when I get back for my peck ;)_

_SEB: Stay with me babe, I know you want to. You should see how bronzed I'm getting, just like you wanted, and my shorts are clinging tighter now that they are wet from my swim._

_BLAINE: You are killing me. I really should go, the keynote just started - I'll see you soon enough. Will you go take a nap and rest up for me? I promise to take care of you ;)_

_SEB: Hold up, the cabana boy wants to know what I want_

_BLAINE: They have cabana boys? I only saw waitresses during yoga._

_SEB: Suddenly you don't have to go anymore? Yes, a cabana boy. About 16. Blue-eyed, sweet-faced, . Tan, nice arms. He's hot. Not as hot as you, but he may have to do_

_BLAINE: You can be such an ass_

_SEB: Now you have me thinking about your delicious ass. And me up against it. I'm wet and getting harder and more golden and I can't hold out much longer, B. I miss you. I've missed you all goddamned quarter._

_BLAINE: I've missed you too and you are lucky you are so hot, I end up forgetting that you are a jerk sometimes. ;)_

_SEB: You want a jerk? Get back here and I'll jerk whatever you want, Gorgeous_

_BLAINE: You are hilarious. :D_

_SEB: I'm being dead serious. I'm not sure how much more clear I can be: if you come here I will give you a blow job and fuck you until you can't feel your limbs or ride you til kingdom come. Or even let you nail me however the hell you want. I just need to taste you._

_BLAINE: Seb!_

_BLAINE: I can't leave Sam so soon._

_SEB: He's got Rob._

_BLAINE: They barely know each other!_

_SEB: I don't hear you saying no. I can hear you considering it, babe. I'm ready and waiting. I'll make you feel so good, Killer._

_BLAINE: I paid good money for this convention_

_SEB: I will pay you back._

_BLAINE: Sam's yanking at me, I really should go. I swear I will pay lots of attention to you when I get back._

_SEB: Touché - the image of Sam in that ridiculous red wig yanking at the sleeve of your Hogwarts robe was one effective boner killer. You owe me a blow job_

_SEB: You still there?_

_BLAINE: Oh my god it's so awesome, you would like this, they just started doing a wand dueling demonstration! It's like fencing!_

_SEB: I could not be more baffled that WAND DUELING is distracting you from the idea of me giving you an orgasm that would light your beautiful hair on fire. We need to get you checked out by a doctor. And no, WAND DUELING can't be anything like fencing, they are waving around toys the size of breadsticks. I'm going to go now and see if I can get that cabana boy fired for resurrecting my hard-on and otherwise servicing my cabana_

_BLAINE: If that obviously fictional cabana boy touches you, I'll cast a spell on him. Please don't be mad. I swear I'll make it up to you. I'll text you later - get some rest. I promise to give you a peck and a cuddle and maybe more when I get back._

_SEB: You're cute when you're jealous, but the wizard references? Still not sexy. And yes, I definitely will expect more than a peck and cuddle when you get back. I'm going to go lift at the gym, you're hopeless._

_BLAINE: Don't run around! Try to be restful!_

_SEB: Don't dork around! Try to be normal!_

* * *

_SEB: Still bored._

_BLAINE: I was hoping you were sleeping, how are you feeling?_

_SEB: Allergies are worse. How is the Land of Nerd?_

_BLAINE: It's dinnertime and they have everything from the books!_

_SEB: I'm guessing that means English food which = heartattack on a plate. I'm settling down to an exquisite swordfish from the best restaurant downstairs while I also eat up Matthew McConaughey at his hottest in The Lincoln Lawyer. When are you getting back? You're my dessert, babe_

_BLAINE: A couple more hours. But the rest of the week I promise we'll be home for dinner. We just couldn't miss the opening banquet. Wednesday night you have to come with us to the ball - you don't have to dress up - you can wear your suit and you'll look so sexy no one will care that I brought a Muggle_

_SEB: Don't call me that. I'll think about it. I want to dance with you and enjoy you in a suit for an evening (and then enjoy taking a suit off of you), but that's a whole lot of fanfreaks in one room. I could break out in hives_

_BLAINE: The food is supposed to be extra good that night and there will be a live band they say is awesome. What if they let us sing a duet, wouldn't that be fun?_

_SEB: What if we let Thing 1 and Thing 2 go and we stay in the suite and have a private duet. I'll wear my tie and nothing else and you'll wear some of that chocolate mousse and I'll lick it off of your neck, and your collarbone, your chest, your abs, your hip bones, and for a finishing touch, oh I don't know, let's say your cock. And what if we duet all night long?_

_BLAINE: Stop it, there is a 14 year old next to me who I think is peeking._

_SEB: Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Pens Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis Penis_

_BLAINE: You are terrible! Though I guess that was like waving a green flag to you. But he's definitely not peeking now. I'm sure you scarred him for life_

_SEB: Your salty skin and how it mixes in with mine, the way it feels to be completely intertwined_

_BLAINE: Okay, I'm impressed now_

_SEB: Not that I didn't care it's that I didn't know, it's not what I didn't feel, it's what I didn't show_

_BLAINE: That was seriously one of my top three Warbler numbers. We had so much fun with that one!_

_SEB: I am not singing to you via text to bring back Warbler memories for you_

_SEB: So let me be, I'll set you free. I am in misery, And there ain't nobody who can comfort me._

_BLAINE: You're very cute, but I'm not walking out on Sam and Rob in the middle of this banquet_

_SEB: Why won't you answer me? The silence is slowly killing me_

_BLAINE: I did just answer you! :D_

_SEB: Not the right answer. But you're in luck, San's texting. Go back to your scary people_

_BLAINE: Tell her I said hi. I'm glad you're relaxing with a movie, try to sleep, too._

_SEB: I'm not sure how relaxing it will be, San is watching the movie with me and you know we never go for long without fighting about something._

_BLAINE: Tell her you are sick and that she needs to be nice to you_

_SEB: I could tell her I was having a stroke and she still wouldn't know how to be nice to me. Anyway, I'm not sick_

_BLAINE: Give her your baby pout and Little Boy Lost eyes. Santana knows how to be nice, I've seen in it_

_SEB: Nice Santana sounds creepy. I kind of like fighting with original recipe Santana._

_BLAINE: I will never fully understand your friendship with her. But you two are adorable._

_SEB: She's calling now, I guess I should go before she fills up my voicemail box with Spanish expletives. Get home soon, babe_

_BLAINE: Will do. Try to relax. Bye!_

_SEB: Bye_

* * *

Sebastian blew his nose away from the phone and then started to speak again, his voice getting increasingly congested again with each word. "No! Of course you can't wear a rented tux to a benefit like that, unless you want people to ask for more wine because they think you're a waiter...Jeff is right, it's not too late to get one. It's nod til the weekend, right? If you're shord on time, I happen to know thad Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills haz an in-house tailor."

Sebastian was dressed in jeans and a fitted, dark green shirt. He was pacing the room on the phone as Rob, Blaine and Sam entered. "I godda go, the guyz are backg. Okay. Bye."

Rob looked at him with a puzzled expression. "Why are you dressed like that? Why are you awake?"

"I thoughd we could go clubbig, no? Id's oly den o'glock." He coughed.

Blaine hurried over. "Oh Seb, you've gotten a lot worse. You're so much more congested. And you look so flushed." He pressed his hand to Sebastian's forehead. "I think you have a fever. You really shouldn't have exercised so much and then had that phone date with Santana - you two get each other so riled up." He looked at the room service tray. "And you barely touched your dinner!"

Sebastian blew his nose, which cleared his congestion temporarily again. "I wasn't that hungry. It's just the allergies, there might be too much dust in here. I don't have a fever, it's just warm in here."

"It's not warm," said Blaine, furrowing his brow. "It's freezing in here, actually. You definitely have a fever."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You're always cold. It's like a sauna in here. I was just going to call the front desk, I think there's something wrog with the thermostad in here."

Rob shrugged off his robes. "It _IS_ freezing in here, Seb."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. "It is nod." He coughed again.

"Nod?" Sam laughed. "You're so sick, Seb. Go to sleep."

"I'm not sig! I am in bedder health thed all of you. This is jusd allergies!" Sebastian violently grabbed another Kleenex to blow his nose.

"There's no 'D' at the end of 'just', either," laughed Sam.

Blaine turned to Sam and Rob. "Why don't you take the Potter movie marathon to the other room, so it's not too loud for him. It's going to be hard enough for me to get him to sleep. You guys can start without me."

"I don't want to go to bed yet. Let's go out! Let's go do shots off of Sam! Let's go party somewhere!" Sebastian whined before coughing violently.

"Let's go rest and drink lots of fluids," Blaine said gently, taking up the water bottle and pushing him toward the bedroom.

Sam chuckled as he turned towards the door. "Feel better, Seb!"

"Good luck, Blaine," Rob said with an amused backwards glance.

The door clicked shut and Sebastian put his arms around Blaine, suddenly looking impressed. " Oh...thad's brilliand, Giller. Grayd way do ged rid of dem." He tossed the Harry Potter glasses aside and started kissing Blaine's neck before he had to cough on it.

Blaine rolled his eyes and turned away, tugging on Sebastian's arm to guide them into the bedroom. "Seb! I really want you to go to bed so you can get better."

"Ooh, sexy Nurse Adersud. Ogay, I'll resd. But y'know if I'm gohig to bed, then you're coming wid me."

Blaine couldn't help but smile. "That would be incredibly sexy, if you weren't all drippy." he pointed to Sebastian's nose and grabbed a Kleenex to blot at it.

Sebastian batted him away and wiped his nose quickly. He started to unbutton his shirt and gave Blaine a seductive look. "Are you sayig thad you don'd wahd me do tayg this ov?"

He sneezed and Blaine stifled a laugh at the sight of sexy Sebastian Smythe with his toned, bare chest exposed while he groped for a tissue. He handed over his handkerchief and Sebastian blew his nose loudly. "Seb, you are very sexy shirtless on any normal day, but please cooperate. Come on..."

"Yes, come on babe..." Sebastian coughed loudly and dragged the zipper of Blaine's costume downward.

Blaine stuck his lower lip out and stopped him. "Honey, don't take this personally okay? But even if we had already agreed that we could sleep together this week - which we haven't - I just can't have sex with someone who's sick."

"I'm with you, babe! I can't have sex with a sick person either, that would be revolting. But I'm not sick. Let me prove it to you …" He lowered his voice to a whisper as his voice grew congested again. "We have needs, Giller...we're ad the pidacle of our segxual health." He grabbed Blaine's ass.

Blaine wriggled away and laughed, pushing Sebastian onto the bed. "Yes, we are at the pidacle of our health, and I'd like to stay that way!"

"I'b not sig!" yelped Sebastian in frustration, staring at the ceiling before he had to cough again.

"Here," Blaine said as he returned from the bathroom. "Put on this amazingly soft bathrobe and I'll go make you some tea."

"Finally, you wahd me to ged udressed," grinned Sebastian.

Blaine shook his head and took a deep breath and went to the coffee maker at the bar in the living area. Shaking his head, he filled it with water and turned it on before digging through his messenger bag for Advil and grabbing two more bottles of water from the bar.

"Blaide!'

"What? Are you okay?" Blaine called, hurrying back to the bedroom.

Sebastian was in bed, one leg bent, lying on top of the robe, fully erect and smirking.

"Ahhh!" Blaine clutched as his heart. "Oh for god's sake you gotta warn me if you're going to do that!"

Sebastian smiled and put this hands behind his head, laying back on the pillows. "You told me that you considered studying medicine, Killer. Come play doctor with me," he said in his sexiest voice. Then he shivered and coughed.

Blaine came over and pulled the robe back on and the covers over him as Sebastian stared at him with disbelief. "Okay, do you know what the sexy doctor thinks is sexy on my sexy patient? Layers. Your sexy, comfy robe and this sexy duvet and I can ask Sam to go out and get you a sexy hot water bottle." He laid his hand on Sebastian's burning cheek. "And this Advil? Very, very sexy."

Sebastian threw back the duvet. "Come od, ged indo bed! I wahd do prove do you that I'b nod sig! I've bedn thingig aboud you all avternood and nighd and I wanna mayg you feel good!"

"You will make me feel good if you get a little rest!" Blaine looked at him sympathetically and stroked his soft hair.

"I'm nod sig!" Sebastian coughed and sneezed violently all over Blaine's face.

Blaine kept his eyes closed and spoke in a quiet, desperately restrained voice as Sebastian gritted his teeth and looked guilty. "SEBASTIAN. I don't care if you think you're sick or not. If you CARE about me, you are going to humor me, and you are going to take THIS." He slapped the Advil into his palm. "And you are going to drink ALL of THIS," he shoved a bottle of water into his other hand. "And then you are going to REST or, ideally, sleep." He stood up, eyes still closed. "While you do all of that, I will go into the bathroom to wash your nasty SNEEZE off my face and go into the other room to cool off, so I don't HIT you. I will check on you later."

* * *

The bedroom door opened and Sebastian emerged in the robe, tied tightly. His eyes were contrite. "Blaide, I thig I'm sig," he said in a sad voice.

Blaine didn't look up from his book. "Not feeling at the pidacle of health?"

"Yez, you were righd and I was wrog and I'm sorry, okay?" Sebastian coughed and then stuck out his lower lip. "I feel like crap. Will you ged me some ice? I'm really hodt, and I don'd thig thad Advil iz worging."

Blaine looked up at him and decided he really did look pathetic. "Okay, you big baby, go lay down and I'll bring it to you."

When Blaine returned from the ice machine he found Sebastian had disrobed and pulled only the sheet over his lower body. His eyes were half closed. "Babe, I'm so hot."

Blaine shook his head. "Oh brother, why did I fall for your act? You waltz in with your 'I was wrong and I'm sorry,' to lure me in here to your nakedness and your 'Babe, I'm so hot…'" he scoffed. "You have to rest, you big faker." He turned to leave.

"Blaine!" Sebastian sat halfway up on his elbows. His voice was hoarse. "I'm serious. I'm roasting!" He beckoned at him with frustration. "God, at least leave me the ice, you heartless bastard!"

Blaine came over, still looking a little suspicious. He put his hand on Sebastian's forehead and his expression became concerned. "Oh you _are_ really warm. I'm so sorry, here's your ice."

Sebastian flopped back against a pile of pillows and closed his eyes. "Thank you. Will you run the ice over my face and my chest?"

Blaine gave him a doubtful look. "Seb, are you trying to...?"

Sebastian coughed before his green eyes opened and looked annoyed. "Really? I am boiling over and you're giving me the third degree?" He wiped his brow and sniffed. "I feel like I'm going to burst into flames."

"Well..." Blaine looked ambivalent.

"Whadever," Sebastian said in a grouchy voice. "I'll do it myselv."

He sat up and blew his nose again and grabbed an ice cube angrily. He closed his eyes as he lay back against the pillows and slowly ran the icecube across his forehead, past his cheekbone, along his jawline and down his neck and collarbone.

He got the ice cube across his chest slowly before it melted into nothingness. He opened his eyes and coughed before reaching for another, but Blaine covered his hand.

"Let me do it," Blaine said softly. "I'm sorry. Just relax."

"Thang you." Sebastian reached for another Kleenex and blew his nose again before sighing. He looked forlorn. "I'm sorry for getting sick and then not nipping it in the bud." He closed his eyes again.

Blaine tried not to get distracted by Sebastian's impressive bicep muscles flexing as he ran his fingers through his hair, the wavy chestnut locks already showing some golden tinges from the Florida sun. He took another ice cube and dragged it across Sebastian's warm, smooth skin, watching a drop of water drip down his tanned, toned chest.

He felt himself flush and he couldn't resist letting his fingertips graze the soft, firm skin as he ran the ice over Sebastian's taut abs.

"God that feels so good," moaned Sebastian. Blaine felt himself start to get hard.

Running the ice back up his chest, he smiled as he stopped to tweak a nipple as he reached it.

"Hey! Stop it, I'm sick!" Sebastian coughed.

Blaine leaned over and kissed his lips lightly. "Hey, I'm just Dr. Anderson taking care of my sexy patient."

Sebastian's eyes fluttered open halfway and he smiled softly. "What happened to not having sex with a sick person?"

"Well, we haven't gotten to sex yet. And that was before the hot..." Blaine licked his lips. "The dripping..." He gave up speaking and just leaned in and kissed Sebastian for longer.

_[cue "_ _ Fever  _ _" from our YouTube Playlist, keyword search: I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine]_

"Well if you insist..." Sebastian said with a sexy smile. He helped him onto the bed with his strong arms as he whispered, "You _do_ always know how to make me feel better." Blaine straddled him and lowered himself down on his chest while they kissed even more deeply and urgently. Blaine started grinding against him through the sheet as Sebastian thrust upwards with his hands curved over Blaine's ass.

"Whoa! McDreamy! Off the patient!" Rob was in the doorway.

Sebastian turned to scowl at his roommate as Blaine sat bolt upright with eyes wide as saucers, blushing crimson.

Rob chuckled, "And what do you two have to say for yourselves this time? Let me guess, you got carried away?" He clucked his tongue and turned to Sam whose eyes were peering in over his shoulder. "I told you we couldn't trust them alone that long."

Sebastian just looked amused and blew his nose as Rob moved aside and Sam stepped halfway in the room, wrinking his nose in revulsion. "That's just gross, Blaine! He is so snotty! I thought you said you couldn't kiss a sick person! Why would you..."

"He has a fever…" Blaine faltered. He covered his face with his hands. "I'm a disgusting person."

Sebastian jerked a thumb at the ice bucket and smirked. "Ice cubes...works every time."

Blaine's mouth gaped open, glaring down at Sebastian before he started beating on him with a pillow. "Why you stinker! YOU JERK!"

"Stop! I'm sick!" Sebastian's laugh was muffled as he struggled to take the pillow from him. Blaine grabbed another one and thumped his face with it while he held Sebastian's hands down with the other. Sitting on his chest gave him a great advantage.

Rob chuckled as he grabbed some pajamas out of the dresser. "I don't think we need to worry about them for the rest of the night," he said to Sam. He spoke loudly in the direction of the struggling, sheeted arms and legs. "Blaine, I'm sleeping in your bed. You've already been infected by that pervy, preppy petri-dish - so you can keep him." He walked over to Sebastian's dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and pajama pants, tossing them on the bed next to Blaine. "Here Clooney, for Naked Man. If he gets chills with that fever, you're gonna want that."

Blaine was still waling on Sebastian. _Thump, thump, thump._

"Rob! Sam!" Sebastian hollered, coughing as his flu-compromised strength started failing him. "Help a brother out!"

"Sorry dude, you dug your own grave there," Sam said with a rueful smile.

Rob shook his head as he emerged from the bathroom with his toothbrush. "Yeah I make it a habit to not get in the middle of lovers' quarrels. Good luck, Seb."

"Rob!" _Thump._ "ROB!" _Thump. Thump._

As Rob nudged Sam out of the bedroom, Sam remarked, "Blaine could have taken such good care of him if he'd only let him. He takes great care of me when I catch a cold."

"I'm glad Seb's never been sick in our dorm - he's tricky when he's like this."

"Hey, didn't you say you have the collector's edition of Half Blood Prince here? With the cast and crew special?"

"Oh yeah, let me find it."

As Rob finished packing his backpack, Sam looked over towards the bedroom. "Is he STILL beating on him?"

Rob perked up his ears as he zipped up his backpack. "Yep, listen..." He stopped his movements for Sam to hear the thumping of the pillow and more muffled shouting. "Blaine's gotten into a kind of rhythm. Seb's getting a very even handed thrashing."

"Blaine can go at a boxing speed bag forever. Do you think we should go help out Sebastian? Blaine's got a passive _-_ aggressive streak, he might be taking out some other stuff out on poor Seb."

They paused. "Nah," they both said simultaneously, laughing. As Rob slung his backpack on, hung up his costume and walked out the door with Sam, he started sing under his breath while Sam snapped his fingers and whistled along. Their song was accompanied by a bass line of faint thumping and a muffled cry of "Uncle! Uncle!" fading away as they shut the door:

_They give you fever when we kiss them_  
 _Fever if you live and learn_  
 _Fever till you sizzle_  
 _Oh what a lovely way to burn_  
 _What a lovely way to burn_  
 _What a lovely way to burn  
_ _And what a lovely way to burn_

* * *

"Blaine!"

Blaine turned towards the sound, one eye squinting half-open. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry!"

"What?" Blaine sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"BLAINE! Stop!"

Blaine stumbled to stand up, alarmed at the urgency in his Sebastian's voice. "Stop what? What's wrong?"

Sebastian was not awake and was thrashing, his legs tangling the covers as he called out hoarsely and desperately in his sleep. "Blaine don't go! I'm sorry! Don't listen to him! Yes, but I didn't know the rock salt...I didn't mean to...I'm sorry, I was stupid…Don't go! I'm sorry... Blaine!"

Blaine climbed into bed with him quickly, kneeling next to him and leaning to rub his arm and speak soothingly in his ear. "Seb, I'm not going anywhere. It's okay, I forgave you such a long time ago." Sebastian's cheek felt hot and he sat up and put his hand on it and on his forehead. Sebastian felt like he was burning up and Blaine felt panic rise in his stomach. He dunked his hand in the cold water of the ice bucket and swiped the water over Sebastian's forehead.

Sebastian didn't seem to have heard him, his hands twisting the covers and his cries growing louder. "Blaine, I'm sorry! Wait for me! I love you! Don't listen to him!"

Blaine's tears overflowed as he pushed the sweaty hair off Sebastian's face and shook him gently. "Seb, Seb, you're just having a bad dream. Wake up, Seb. It's okay, I'm here."

"BLAINE!" Sebastian screamed. "DON'T GO! WAIT! BLAINE! PLEASE, WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU?! STOP! BLAINE, PLEASE!"

Blaine felt frightened and shook him harder. "I'm here, I'm here! SEB, WAKE UP! It's okay!"

Sebastian sat up with a start, jolting the whole bed, eyes vacant.

[](http://imgur.com/ggNrFmF)

Blaine gave him a hug and then got behind him and and slid his arms around him. He pulled Sebastian gently towards his lap, holding him tight and feeling Sebastian's racing heart. "Seb it's okay, I'm here. It wasn't real, it was just a bad fever dream." He kissed his sweaty forehead and smoothed his matted hair, cradling his broad shoulders as best as he could.

"Oh Blaine," Sebastian collapsed back on to him, eyes drooping half closed, sobbing out a stream of tearful words: "It was terrible. There was a man and he was my grandfather and then he was my dad but he didn't look like my grandfather or my dad and he was saying lies and he said I wanted to kill Kurt and you were crying and you were leaving me and I couldn't stop you, I couldn't reach you, I kept running and running and I got closer to you and and then I fell and then you were so much farther suddenly and you looked at me and you looked scared and then you ran towards me and but then you turned around again and the man was running after us he shouted that I was using you and that I was selfish and that I hated Dave and then suddenly you were gone and I could hear my mom singing but I couldn't see her." Tears were streaming down his face and Sebastian shivered as Blaine held him as tight as he could. He added faintly, his voice still choked with tears, "I was so scared Blaine, I couldn't find you ..."

I'm here, I'm here...it was just a dream," Blaine repeated softly.

Sebastian's started to calm down but his eyes were still half-open and he still looked frightened as he sniffed and coughed. "I don't want to go to sleep, Blaine."

"Shhh…" Blaine rocked him gently. "You have to go to sleep, Seb - it's the only way to get better. But here, take this first." He reached over to the bedside table and gave Sebastian more Advil to take with a big glass of water.

Sebastian sat up slowly, hair askew, closing his eyes as he slowly swallowed the pills. Blaine coaxed the damp t-shirt off of him and gave him a Kleenex to blow his nose.

His eyes were closed as he leaned back onto Blaine's chest again. "What if the dream comes back?" he whispered. His hands gripped Blaine's arm a bit too tightly.

"Shh…" Blaine said, "I don't think it will come back if I stay here, but if it does I'll be here and I'll chase it away." His eyes landed on Sebastian's Warbler hoodie on the bench at the foot of the bed. "I'll sing it away." He rocked Sebastian some more, smoothing his forehead with cool water and pressing his cheek against his hair as he sang:

_[Hear_ _"St. Judy's Comet"_ _on_ _our YouTube playlist_ _: keyword search I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine]_

_Little sleepy boy_  
 _Do you know what time it is?_  
 _Well the hour of your bedtime's  
_ _Long been past_

_And though I know you're fighting it_  
 _I can tell when you rub your eyes_  
 _You're fading fast  
_ _Fading fast_

_Won't you run come see St .Judy's Comet_  
 _Roll across the skies_  
 _And leave a spray of diamonds  
_ _In its wake_

_I long to see St. Judy's Comet_  
 _Sparkle in your eyes_  
 _When you wake  
_ _Little boy_

_Won't you lay your body down_  
 _Little boy_  
 _Won't you close your weary eyes  
_ _Ain't nothing flashing but the fireflies_

_Well I sang it once_  
 _Then I sang it twice_  
 _I'm going to sing it three times more_  
 _I'm going to stay 'til your resistance  
_ _Is overcome_

_'Cause if I can't sing my boy to sleep_  
 _Well it makes this college Warbler_  
 _Look so dumb  
_ _Oh he'll look so dumb_

_Won't you run come see St. Judy's Comet_  
 _Roll across the skies_  
 _And leave a spray of diamonds_  
 _In its wake_  
 __  
I long to see St. Judy's Comet  
 _Sparkle in your eyes_  
 _When you wake  
_ _Oh when you wake you wake_

When Sebastian had finally fallen asleep, Blaine slid out from under him and went out to get ice and to get a thermometer from the front desk. On his way, he emailed Sam about the fever and to let him know that he would skip day two of the convention. He brought the ice bucket back and iced washcloths to lay across Sebastian's forehead and chest, only to hurry to the sink ten minutes later to replace the them with lukewarm ones after calling and waking his mother to get her advice. He fell asleep researching the internet to see if there wasn't more he should be doing. Every hour his watch's alarm went off so he could check Sebastian's temperature and sponge him down.

...

At 5AM Sebastian woke to the sight of Blaine's face leaning over him, covered in relief. "Oh, I'm sorry if I woke you with the thermometer. But your fever finally broke!" He leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. "Try to go back to sleep."

Sebastian regarded him groggily and gave his arm a squeeze as he sat up, dragging his tired legs off the bed to go to the restroom. Blaine sat down on the bed to email the good news to his mother on his IPad.

On the way back, Sebastian stopped to blow his nose and drink a glass of water. When he turned back to the bed Blaine was fast asleep, leaning against the headboard with the IPad on his lap.

After putting the Ipad on the nightstand, Sebastian took a moment to wearily regard the unruly curls, the drooping dark lashes, the slack jaw, the stubble. He kissed Blaine on the cheek, climbed over to the other side of him, and lifted him slowly down until he was lying flat.

Blaine stirred, mumbling. "Mmm...Huh?"

"Go back to sleep, Killer." Sebastian mumbled as he adjusted a pillow under Blaine's head. Then he rolled him over so he could spoon him, closing his eyes and letting out a small sigh of contentment as Blaine nestled back into his chest and his hips, adjusting his arm around him. He had forgotten to pull up the covers, but he was too exhausted to reach down for them and he didn't want to let go of Blaine...well, ever. He listened to Blaine's breathing and his own until they were in sync, breathing in and out together in spite of the lingering congestion in Sebastian's chest. He was asleep again in just a minute more.

...

Two hours later Rob came in for his razor. He went over to lay a hand on Sebastian's forehead for a second. Then he pulled the duvet over the sleeping pair and left as quietly as he could.

"Fever's turned," he said to Sam as he entered the suite next door. "And from the looks of things, all's been forgiven."

* * *

When Sebastian awoke again he felt stiff and his throat was dry. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Blaine again. He was sitting upright next to him, back against the headboard, reading a book. He had shaved and showered and was looking his dapper self again, even in a just a t-shirt and khaki shorts. Sebastian lay there for a few minutes, trying to get his bearings and reflecting on vague memories of the day prior. Remorse crossed his face like a shadow before his expression softened as he studied Blaine's beautiful face.

"Hey, Killer," he finally croaked.

"Good morning, Sunshine." Blaine said with a soft smile, looking down at him with a tender expression.

Sebastian sat up and drank an entire glass of water, then blew his nose and collapsed back down. He still kind of felt crummy and he knew he looked like it, his face lined with pillowcase wrinkles, his hair a disheveled mess.

Blaine looked at him sympathetically and put the book on the nightstand. "You never do anything halfway, Sebastian Smythe. You don't get sick for three years, and then when you do, you scare me half to death."

"Sorry," Sebastian said with a frown. He ran his hands through his hair, which did zero for his bedhead, before he continued in a weary and grateful tone. "I'm glad you came to sleep with me, though." He rolled over and curled up to put his head in Blaine's lap, pulling the duvet up to his neck. "I think I remember when you came...I had a really bad dream, I think." He squinted at the memory.

"Yeah, you did...you don't remember?" Blaine asked, tracing a finger along his jawline. "I guess you were only half awake. Your fever was so high, then it would go down just a little, but then it would get high again, all night. I was wondering if I should have called a doctor."

Sebastian looked up with a guilty expression as Blaine stroked his hair. He continued hoarsely, "Then you stayed up all night - I'm sorry. And thank you. I was so out of it, it's all kind of fuzzy - but I remember you with cold towels." He closed his eyes again and pushed down the duvet so he could cough into his fist.

"Do you want anything else? You should eat something. I got Cream of Wheat and strawberries and toast for you, I know you like that. I would have ordered scrambled eggs but I didn't know when you were going to wake up and they don't keep."

"Thanks babe, but I'm not really hungry. I just want to lie here." Sebastian said with a small sniff. Then his eyes opened again and he turned his head slowly to look up at Blaine. "Wait, why aren't you with Sam and Rob right now?"

"Are you kidding? It's pretty clear you can't be trusted alone while you're sick," Blaine chuckled and glided his fingers over Sebastian's collar bone. "We're going to have a nice day relaxing here," he said with a smile. "We can watch movies and you can finally catch up on your Daily Show and House of Cards and your other shows; I can play my guitar and we can listen to other music; and I'll read you some of the plays I brought and anything else you like. But most of all, you're going to rest."

Sebastian's tired face looked sad. "I'm sorry."

"You can't help that you're sick," Blaine said, patting his cheek.

Sebastian eyes were troubled and he coughed again. "I'm sorry for not taking care of myself and getting sick right when we finally get to be together again."

"It was finals, baby - you're still figuring out how to manage at Stanford, it's okay. I'm sure there are thousands of overachieving college students across the country who are sick now for the same reason. You run your bodies on nothing but ambition, adrenaline, and junk food to get through finals and then the minute you let yourself relax, your body just finally allows itself to start to recover from all the abuse and all your defenses go down and you're primed for the latest virus from some preschooler on a plane."

Sebastian smiled softly. "You would have made a good doctor." Then he sobered, turning his head to the side and pinching at the soft fabric of Blaine's shorts. "I'm sorry I was a stupid patient yesterday and made myself worse...I wouldn't have screwed up our time together last night if I had just listened to you and laid around all afternoon. And now because of me you're missing your Harry Potter stuff with Sam." He looked up seriously. "You really can go, I promise I'll really rest this time, I feel like crap and I don't want to get worse."

Blaine looked at him fondly and caressed his cheek before leaning down to kiss his forehead. "You're so apologetic when you're sick…" He smiled and added, "Maybe you should be sick all the time. And no, I don't want to go to the convention, not when you are feeling so miserable."

Sebastian gave him a small smile and Blaine slipped down under the covers to share a pillow with him. They slipped their arms around each other, eyes locked. Blaine leaned over to deliver a kiss on his lips.

Sebastian pulled away after a moment, looking weary. He looked into the hazel eyes with remorse. "Okay one more and I'll shut up. I just want you to know that I really am sorry for being a total skeev, trying to trick you into having sex with me."

Blaine's eyes were soft. "You already said you were sorry for that last night."

"Well I didn't want you to think that I only apologized to get you to stop pounding me," Sebastian said with a rueful smile.

"Oh, I know when you're being sincere and when you're not," Blaine chuckled.

Sebastian drew Blaine's hand up to kiss it softly. "I'm serious, I'm really sorry. I was such a jackass. I don't want to ever lie to you to get you into bed with me. I don't know what I was thinking, except that I guess I really didn't want to believe I was sick after waiting so long to be with you again...and I wanted to prove to you that I wasn't."

He looked down, avoiding Blaine's eyes. "Or maybe old habits die hard and somewhere inside part of me is still the lying asshole I was when you met me." He looked up again, his eyes looking resolute. "But I'm going to be the man you deserve, Blaine. You have to believe me. I won't let you down when it matters the most."

Blaine looked at him with compassion. "Seb, you were never an asshole. You just let your competitive side get the best of you. And that was so long ago. What matters is that you're wonderful for me now. I don't care if you're not perfect, I'm certainly not. Remember, everybody's got a dark side," he smiled. "And I think you're amazing, just exactly as you are right now."

Sebastian's green eyes were searching as he spoke in a low voice. "Killer, what did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Plenty," said Blaine, kissing him again.

Their kiss deepened until Sebastian had to pull away to cough. "Ugh," he said, coughing again. "Damn, I hate that I'm sick."

Blaine tried not to look disappointed about the truncated kiss. He smiled softly at Sebastian as he stroked hair off his face. "At least it gives me a nice excuse to not spend the day with Sam. I love him, but I get to see him everyday at school. When I signed up for this convention last fall, I didn't know how much I would be missing you now."

Sebastian burrowed under the covers and lay his head against Blaine's chest. "So you're going to stay here all day with me?"

Blaine kissed his wild bedhead. "Yes. Though it's more like three quarters of a day. We've slept half the morning away, it's like 10AM. Though I'm not sure Rob and Sam want to be with us germy people for dinner, so maybe we won't see them much at all until later in the evening."

"Mmm, that would be good." Sebastian's eyes were closed.

"I'd feel more guilty about it, but they get along so great. It was like a bromance at first sight," Blaine said with a chuckle. "Sam thinks Rob's the smartest, coolest person he's ever met. I'm kind of feeling like yesterday's news."

Sebastian said softly, " Rob went to this crazy elite Southern California private school that makes Dalton seem like Boy Scout camp in comparison. He was on a need-based scholarship - his dad doesn't make a lot of money, he's an assistant principal at the high school his small town. All of his classmates were the kids of Beverly Hills billionares and Nobel Prize winners, but he beat out all of them for valedictorian. His mother told me that - Rob doesn't brag, like a lot of Stanford idiots I've met." He coughed again with his eyes still shut. "I helped him in Calculus and Gomez' class, but he breezed through physics and engineering stuff that took me forever to wade through. He has every right to be an arrogant smartass, but for whatever reason, he's not."

"I know, he's so nice even when Sam asks questions that I know could seem dumb. And I thought he was going to split his side laughing at Sam's Liz Lemon impression. Plus over dinner he and Sam got into this fascinating art history discussion. It was really sweet."

"They'd be kind of a hot couple if only they weren't cursed with the het gene. Poor bastards. They can't appreciate your hotness the way I do," murmured Sebastian. "Yesterday after I took your shirt off, I wanted to take you right there in the pool." His long lashes fluttered peacefully closed at the memory.

Blaine felt a zing and he spoke in a sexy voice. "Baby you can't talk that way while I'm lying in bed with you," He lowered himself down to kiss Sebastian seductively before starting to kiss his neck.

Sebastian's eyes remained closed and he didn't move. His voice was muffled by the pillow. "Mmmm….babe, don't be offended, but I have zero sex drive right now. I just feel...like, achy and dried out and hollow, even though I just had that whole glass of water. And I'm so tired."

"So you can't appreciate my hotness either right now," Blaine chuckled as he stopped. "I'm just a teddy bear to you."

"No, I can appreciate your hotness, I just don't have any juice in me to do anything about it," Sebastian murmured. He coughed before he reached down and gave Blaine's ass a squeeze. "I can appreciate that you feel sinfully good, but...that play for your ass? That's all I've got...that's it. Nada más. It's fucking tragic that I have no more capacity to enjoy you and your smokin' bod."

"No groping me, or I will grope you back and I won't be able to stop...you're shirtless and I've been trying really hard not to think about that." Blaine rolled his eyes. "God, I can't even talk about it without getting a little turned on."

"Grope all you want, just don't expect a response," Sebastian mumbled.

Blaine chuckled and kissed his neck again, one hand caressing up and down Sebastian's chest and abs as he reached to massage his ass with the other. "An open invitation? I'm a Dalton boy at heart, I can't resist a challenge," he whispered into Sebastian's collarbone. He started to kiss down his chest. "Come on Seb, you can rally for me, can't you? I'm your bashful schoolboy and I've come for a lesson...And I want to come so hard..."

"Argh...fuck that feels good but I'm so tired and raw, it kind of hurts, too." Sebastian moaned until he coughed again. "If I made the Herculean attempt I want to make to attack you right now, I might pass out and never recover."

"But what a way to go..." whispered Blaine in his ear, pushing closer against him to find his half hard cock a little friction.

"Ugh, Killer... you're going to be the death of me. What is fucking wrong with me, why can't I move?"

"Are you kidding me, this is doing nothing for you?!"

"It _is_ doing something, I just can't respond...I told you not to expect a response. But you can't keep doing that because it's incredibly frustrating not to be able to do anything."

Blaine stopped and let out a whine. "NOOO...this is so unfair, I've been dreaming about being in bed with you for months, and this is what we get? I never thought you'd be fighting me off."

"I'm not fighting you. It's more like I'm doomed to haunt you like a zombie, a body of rotting flesh with no free will and I can't feel anything."

"Okay, you've been watching too much American Horror Story and you've officially turned me off. We are changing the subject," Blaine said groan, moving up to the pillow again and rolling onto his back with a sigh .

There was a pause.

"Not much to talk about with me in bed besides sex, eh?" Sebastian mumbled.

Blaine ignored him and stared at the ceiling. Finally he remarked, "We haven't even revisited if sex is really a good idea for us, anyway. And the truth is it would be too much exertion for you, we would just get you sicker. We shouldn't even talk too much, you need to rest." He rolled over again to and rub the back of Sebastian's neck. "At least your congestion actually sounds better. Hopefully this is just a 24 hour flu."

"I am praying on your perfect ass that you're right." Sebastian laid his head against Blaine's chest again and gave his ass a gentle pat.

"Hey, I told you no groping if I don't get to grope back." Blaine moved Sebastian's hand away and started to look determined. "Okay, first thing we should do is get you to eat a little something. Your body needs some calories to fight the virus." He moved to sit up.

Sebastian tugged at him, nestling his head against Blaine's chest more closely. "Not yet. No wonder you're such a cuddle whore, I would absolutely do this to you all the time if I was shorter than you."

"Awwww," Blaine said, smiling fondly. "You know what else you can try, turn around and you can lean your head _back_ on my chest. That feels great, too. Like what you did last night...except I was sitting up. But I guess you don't remember because you were half asleep."

"Now that you're talking about it, I kind of remember," Sebastian coughed, closing his eyes again. "You kept combing your fingers through my hair and then you sang."

"You _do_ remember," Blaine smiled. "Well I don't want to sit up, but you can just turn around and lay your head back."

Sebastian obliged, and Blaine wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

"What do I do with my arm?"

"Just lay it forward, and I put mine on top of it, so you're wrapped up all cozy," Blaine chuckled. "This is like Shorter Person Cuddling 101. Don't you ever pay attention to what I'm doing when we're cuddling?"

Sebastian coughed again. "No, I just like how you feel, I don't get mired in the details." He turned his head back towards Blaine to say, "This is fine, but I like the other way better."

"Wait," Blaine slid downwards and leaned his cheek against Sebastian's upper back. "What about reverse spoon?"

"Nah, reverse spoon never really works."

"You have experience with this?" Blaine teased, "And I thought I was your first cuddle whore."

"You are. I have cuddled with others , mostly against my will, but you're my first professional," Sebastian chuckled but it turned into a cough.

"Okay," Blaine said, "We have to stop getting you all stirred up. Pick a cuddle position and let's do it for a few minutes, and then I'm going to make you eat."

"You know I never only do it for just a few minutes. I have loads more stamina than that, especially when I'm topping. And stop propositioning me when I told you I'm too sick to be my usual godlike self in bed."

Blaine chuckled, "Stop talking Adonis, you need to contain all your brilliant wit and rest."

"Fine. Turn around, I like the full frontal cuddle."

"Stop it!" Blaine giggled.

"Yeah, I'm feeling glimmers...I think I'm starting to turn myself on."

"Then go back to being a cuddly puppy," Blaine said, gently pulling Sebastian's head to his chest again.

"Do not call me a puppy."

"I'm trying to make sure you don't turn yourself on."

"Well, it worked." Sebastian closed his eyes again. "Shut up."

* * *

"B, stop eating off my plate, aren't you afraid of getting my cooties?"

"No, I already have them from my failed attempt at a makeout session."

"Eat your own dinner."

"I didn't like it."

Then order your own prime rib."

"Didn't you hear me call? Geez you really do get sucked into your TV shows. I did order another one. But until it comes you have to share."

The door opened. "Hello, Germy Squirmies!" Sam hailed them cheerfully.

"Hello, Albino Twins," Sebastian said dryly.

Rob was carrying in a covered plate. "We ran into room service in the hall - where do you want this?"

Sebastian gestured towards the coffee table. "How was Dorkapalooza?"

"Awesome," replied Sam. "Everyone was asking where Curly-haired Harry was, though."

Rob set the food down in front of them. "Why are you two eating a meal at ten o'clock?"

"We slept so late that our eating schedule got thrown off," answered Blaine, digging into the plate voraciously.

"Leave some for me!" Sebastian warned.

"Well you have a good appetite Seb, that's a good sign. Do you guys want to go next door to the JW Marriott for a drink? We hear one of the bars has a grand piano!" coaxed Sam.

"Yes," Sebastian said immediately, standing up off the couch and bumping Blaine in the process.

Blaine shook his head and looked up at him. "Seb, you're not well enough."

"I'm going out, babe," Sebastian said firmly, looking at Blaine with conviction. "I've been stuck in this place for two friggin' days."

Blaine's furrowed his brow. "It's really only been a day and a half. And I really don't think it's a good idea - you don't want to make yourself worse again," he reasoned.

"I won't," Sebastian replied. "I'm feeling better, B. I've been resting for twelve hours, I slept like six or seven of them, I'm not even coughing that much any more and my congestion is almost gone. I don't even feel achy at all any more..."

"You still look tired," Blaine maintained.

"Do you guys need a minute?" Rob said, biting his lip so he wouldn't laugh.

"Yes," grunted Sebastian, yanking Blaine into the bedroom.

Blaine looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Seb…" he tapped Sebastian's chest with his index finger.

"Come on, B..." Sebastian wheedled. "I swear I'll only drink orange juice and we'll stay for just a couple of songs. I don't even have to sing, you know I like listening to you better anyway."

...

In the living room, Rob was smiling broadly at the sound of muffled pleas coming through the door. "Listen!" he chuckled to Sam, "I never thought I'd see the day. Sebastian Smythe is begging."

"And whining," Sam added with a grin.

"Now Samuel, no teasing him about it," Rob said judiciously. "It will do him good to have to beg for once in his privileged life. If you give him crap about it, it will discourage that healthy practice."

"Dude, you are no fun!" Sam whined, "Please let me tease a little, Rob...come on, pleeease?"

...

"I just don't think it's a good idea..." Blaine said, shaking his head.

"Please? Come on, have a heart, babe. I'm going to go apeshit if I have to spend another minute cooped up in here."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again, still looking hesitant.

Sebastian whispered and stepped closer. "Please?" He gave Blaine the Little Boy Lost eyes. "Please? I promise I'll be good." He put his arms around Blaine and pulled him close. "Please?" He pressed his lips on Blaine's with urgency. "Please?" He pressed up harder against him and gave a sensual caress to Blaine's backside. "Please..." he whispered in his ear. "I'll make it worth your while afterwards." He started to nibble along his jawline towards his neck.

"You ARE feeling better," Blaine said with a smile, leaning his head back to provide Sebastian better access. "Okay okay okay…"

...

"Hey, it's gotten too quiet in there."

Rob opened the bedroom door to find the lovers well occupied. "To your corners, boys."

Sebastian looked up and smiled. "Hey, there was no significant tongue kissing yet."

"Your hand was practically up his ass, Seb." Rob turned to Blaine. "And yes, Humpy Little Harry, I'm sleeping in here tonight, since Gropey McGroperson there seems to be making a comeback."

Sam chortled.

Blaine could not hold back a smile. "Yes, Officer."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "We've given you too much power."

* * *

While Rob and Blaine chatted with the manager about using the piano, Sam and Sebastian sat down in a nearby booth. Sebastian look tired, but content as he stretched one arm along the top of the bench seat and looked around the elegant bar. "This was a good idea, Sammy," he said, raising his glass of orange juice to Sam's beer mug. "Cheers.."

Sam chuckled and took a sip. "It's good to see you up and about, Seb." He smiled at Sebastian in his friendly way. "I mean, it's good to see you, period. You and Rob are awesome to have along. And Blaine is so happy when he's around you."

Sebastian was looking across the room at Blaine. His smile was very small, but Sam didn't fail to notice it.

Sam decided to heed Rob's advice and not tease. "You two are good together," he remarked. "I think Blaine doesn't feel like he has to be so perfect when he's with you. I've never seen him eat off anyone else's plate, especially at a restaurant, and he never made out with Kurt in public like he did with you yesterday. I think he feels like he can really let loose with you." He took another sip of his beer. "And you seem real relaxed when you are with him, too."

Sebastian felt exhaustion hit him as he considered all of this. He looked thoughtful as he watched Blaine laughing with Rob about something. After a brief silence, he spoke up. "End of the quarter was rough for him."

"Yeah," Sam agreed, guilt crossing his face.

"I'll do better by him, Sam." Sebastian said quietly, looking suddenly very tired. "I swear I won't fucking drop the ball again."

"I won't either," Sam said, looking up with troubled eyes.

Sebastian continued as if he hadn't heard him. He looked lost in thought even though he was still watching Blaine. "He deserves better. I won't let him feel that alone again, not under my watch, I promise you that, Sam."

"Seb," Sam said gently. "It's okay. Blaine and I talked about it on the plane, it was something he's working on with his shrink, it's something that goes way back to when he was a kid. He just needs more time to work on that."

Sebastian was still looking gravely at Blaine and didn't answer. Sam continued earnestly, "You're good for him. You were good for him fall quarter after he found out about the vocal chord thing, you helped him more than any of the rest of us. And Blaine told me about what you did for him at his UCLA audition and when he got sick in London."

Sebastian's eyes were still distant.

"Seb," Sam said. "Can you just look at me, dude?"

Sebastian gave him a wary look. _Don't patronize me._

"Honestly," said Sam earnestly, "Blaine thinks you're the best thing that's ever happened to him. He talks about you all the time. Our friends at the RC all think you walk on water. And man, he was so jealous of that guy in the Instagram back at the beginning of the quarter."

"Nothing happened with that guy, he's just a friend," Sebastian said immediately.

"I know," Sam replied quickly. "But it just made Blaine want to be with you so bad - he was so jealous that he couldn't be the one to flirt with you. And at Valentine's he was so jumpy... He didn't want to admit it because you guys aren't official, but I could tell he was really hoping to get something from you for Valentine's. He was so over the moon when that keyboard showed up. But honestly I don't think it was because it was such an awesome gift. It was just that you sent anything at all for Valentine's Day."

Sebastian wished he had written a real Valentine's card as he watched Blaine head towards the men's room. Rob surprised him by appearing from behind him. He nudged Sebastian over and sat down with them. "Well, it's great to hear you think Blaine appreciates Sebastian," he said to Sam, with a careful look at his roommate. "Part of the reason why I came on this trip was to make sure this Blaine Anderson is truly worthy of The Great Sebastian Smythe. Pray, continue."

Sebastian looked at him and rolled his eyes, then sipped at his orange juice.

"Well," Sam cheered and began to speak with mock-seriousness. "My boy Blaine has brought much musical magic to Mr. Smythe's life. Rumor has it that over half of the CD of music he composed fall quarter was inspired by Captain Warbler."

"I am quite familiar with that album," smiled Rob, deliberately not looking at Sebastian.

"Blaine is also responsible for the watch on Mr. Smythe's wrist that costs more than my share of the rent; he has participated in what I understand to be many enjoyable Skype movie nights; he has sent lots of care packages; he provided the beat up RC hoodie Seb wears with his designer jeans; and of course he gives the many hugs and cuddles that you have seen the last couple of days," Sam finished with a crooked grin.

"Can you guys stop talking like I'm not here?" Sebastian shook his head but didn't look particularly irritated.

Rob continued as if he hadn't heard him. "All that and Dr. Anderson stayed up all night to keep Mr. Smythe's fever under control," Rob said, with a twinkle in his eyes. "I think I approve of this match. Sebastian Smythe is one lucky fellow. If I didn't know better, I might even think Mr. Anderson actually makes the Great Sebastian Smythe happy. That's something worth recognizing...and celebrating, even."

Sam and Rob clinked their beer mugs. Sebastian gave Rob a light smack upside the head and downed the rest of his juice.

...

By one AM, Rob, Sam and Blaine were fairly hammered. Blaine pounded out Disney songs to the delight of the crowd while Rob, Sam and a few other patrons leaned on the side of the piano and sang along with verve as Sebastian looked on with amusement.

Most of the rest of the crowd was starting to dissipate, as this was the smallest bar in the hotel and closed at half past one. "I don't know if I have another one in me," gasped Blaine.

Sebastian looked at him fondly and sat down next to him. "You don't, my little lush. Move over, I'll play the next one. I might be exhausted, but at least I'm sober."

Blaine was too drunk to remember to scold him for singing while sick, so there was no complaint as Sebastian played and sang with a soft earnestness that he would have been hesitant to show if his companions weren't so inebriated. He was too tired to hold up many of his walls anyway, at least tonight.

_[Listen to "Something So Right" on our YouTube playlist, keyword search: I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine.]_

He started by looking deliberately and sweetly at Blaine as he sang:

_You've got the cool water_  
 _When the fever runs high_  
 _You've got the look of lovelight  
_ _in your eyes_

_And I was in crazy motion_  
 _Til you calmed me down_  
 _It took a little time  
_ _To calm me down_

He glanced over at the others as he sang the next verse, shying away from Rob's knowing eyes:

_When something goes wrong_  
 _I'm the first to admit it,_ _I'm the first to admit it_  
 _But the last one to know_  
 _When something goes right_  
 _Well it's likely to lose me_  
 _It's apt to confuse me  
_ _It's such an unusual sight_

_I can't get used to something so right  
_ _Something so right_

The next verse brought his focus solely on Blaine again:

_They've got a wall in China_  
 _It's a thousand miles long_  
 _To keep out the foreigners  
_ _They made it strong_

_And I've got a wall around me_  
 _That you can't even see_  
 _It took a little time  
_ _To get next to me_

Sam began singing along on the next verse, earning a smile from Sebastian before the others joined in,

_When something goes wrong_  
 _I'm the first to admit it_  
 _I'm the first to admit it  
_ _But the last one to know_

_When something goes right_  
 _Well it's likely to lose me_  
 _It's apt to confuse me  
_ _Because it's such an unusual sight_

_I can't get used to something so right  
_ _Something so right_

Sebastian focused on the keyboard for this verse as Blaine looked on with affection:

_Some people never say the words_  
 _I love you_  
 _It's not their style  
_ _to be so bold_

_Some people never say those words_ _I love you_  
 _But like a child they're longing  
_ _to be told_

Blaine sat down next to Sebastian for the remainder of the song, as the rest of the crowd sang along, the honesty of the music imbibing spirits all around the room:

_When something goes wrong_  
 _I'm the first to admit it_  
 _I'm the first to admit it  
_ _And the last one to know_

_When something goes right_  
 _Well it's likely to lose me  
_ _It's apt to confuse me_

_Because it's such an unusual sight_  
 _I swear I can't get used to something so right  
_ _Something so right_

Blaine was looking up at Sebastian with soft eyes as he played the last note. "Come on Killer...time for bed," Sebastian said with a yawn. He threw an arm around Blaine's shoulders and Blaine put his arm about Sebastian's waist as they walked slowly out. Rob and Sam walked ahead of them, singing sleepily:

_When something goes right_  
 _Well it's likely to lose me_  
 _It's apt to confuse me  
_ _It's such an unusual sight_

_I can't get used to something so right  
_ _Something so right_

...

When they reached their suites, Sebastian gave Rob a pointed look and said, "One good night kiss."

Rob was clutching his forehead due to a building headache, but he nodded as he opened their suite door. "I'm setting my timer, bro."

Sebastian nodded and Rob ducked inside.

"Good night, Seb - don't keep him out past curfew," Sam said with a dopey grin.

Sebastian smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder. "Good night, Sammy. Sweet dreams."

The door clicked behind Sam as well.

Blaine was a bit bleary eyed as he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and looked up at him. Sebastian looked exhausted, too. "We stayed out too late," Blaine said, slurring slightly. "You need more sleep...you HAVE to get well so we can, you know..." Blaine waggled his eyebrows.

Sebastian chuckled before he coughed. "I am fucking exhausted, but I could rally. However, I'm not sure _you_ could. Anyway, we'd have to call off the Bloodhound Brothers," he gestured toward the suite doors on either side of them, "unless you relish the idea of some carpet burn out here in the hall."

Blaine's hazel eyes were huge. "Ouch, that sounds OUCH," he slurred.

Sebastian smiled at him with tired eyes. "Okay, I can't take advantage of you this way, even if I were to go find us another room. When you're sober you might decide you can't handle us sleeping together."

Blaine stuck out his lower lip and pouted with his puppy dog eyes.

"So for now," Sebastian murmured, pulling Blaine close and putting his cheek in his curly hair, "We'll just imagine that we're not returning from a drunken night of cheesey singing with Einstein and Weasley, but instead I have just walked you up to the front steps of your Victorian house apartment after a romantic first date with flowers and dinner and dancing in San Francisco. And being a gentleman, all I can ask for is a goodnight kiss."

Blaine was looking slightly more lucid and a lot more sweet as he pulled away from their embrace. "Aww Seb..." He leaned up and they kissed. It was fireworks and New Year's Eve and a snowy evening under the stars all over again. It was everything and not enough all at once, reducing the universe down to just them, the effects of alcohol and influenza vanishing for the moment that was still theirs, all theirs, accompanied again with that now familiar feeling of never wanting to let go.

"Good Night, Killer."

"Good Night, Sebastian."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, does anyone else find it sad that Seblaine never had a proper first date before jumping in bed together? I suppose Sebastian Smythe is always trying to be anything but cliché - unless Blaine wants him to be cliché :)
> 
> Anyway, hope you liked this chapter as much as I did. I have to admit that I kind of liked writing that angsty dream scene. Maybe I need a good cry, I don't know.
> 
> One more reminder (well one more plea) for your feedback via comments, it's just really satisfying to be able to hear from people who are out there reading, even if you just want to say hi. So please note what you like and don't like and comment to keep us motivated! Oh, and when you comment, please do it in a nice manner, please. I didn't think I needed to say this until recently when I got very interesting opinions couched in a 'holier than thou' manner. I have a delicate ego, like most of us who write for fun and with our hearts.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has been commenting/reviewing so far. I've been trying to react to you all of your thoughts but am getting behind - bear with me! 
> 
> And thanks to everyone who is too busy or too shy to review but who seem to be reading faithfully. We're waving at you!
> 
> Many kisses and hugs to the creative committee I'm blessed to have: Dori, Thomas, Cristina, Rose, Tereza!


	28. Karma, Karaoke and Kelly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hello!_
> 
> _First, an Important announcement is that I've added the soundtrack to[this playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn). If you don't have the link handy, you can always just go to [https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine) and click on "public playlists" and the icon with the photo of Eric Carmen and his fine head of hair. You have to create an account, but it's just a click if you have a Facebook account. If you are on a mobile device you'll need to download the app, unfortunately. Message me if you have any problems with spotify. It's pretty user friendly. I will continue to update the youtube playlist (keyword search: I'm Gonna Miss You Too Seblaine) but it is missing some songs, Like Don Henley's End of the Innocence, etc. _
> 
> _As for this chapter, it is for the fluff lovers who thought that the stress of Seb and Blaine's winter quarter was never going to end...here's A LOT of bromantic and some romantic silliness and fluffiness. This includes a shamelessly Gleeky long string of musical numbers (you really have to listen to the songs on the Spotify_ playlist to "get" this chapter). So while this is technically the longest chapter I've ever written (and that's saying a lot), a lot of the words are lyrics. I also feel like I should warn you, so you aren't disappointed at the end of a long read, that there is no real smut. But there is some probably poorly written snogging, at least. 
> 
> _Anyway, enjoy this lengthy day (especially for Seb) in the life of SpringBreak!Seblaine_
> 
>  _XOXO_  
>  TW
> 
> _P.S. Lots of gratitude as always to Rose, Dori, Cristina, Thomas and Teresa - creative committee/Beta readers extraordinaire!_

* * *

_SEB: Good morning, Sexy_

_BLAINE: Good morning,_ _Sunshine_

_SEB: Not sure how I feel about that as a recurring nickname._

_BLAINE: Your non-smirky smile is like sunshine. And it's a perfect nickname because most people think you're this dark, mysterious character._

_SEB: I will deliberate over this dubious moniker and if it is indeed acceptable_

_BLAINE: You can't really control what comes out of my mouth, as much as you'd like to_

_SEB: Sometimes I can. And I can control what goes into your mouth sometimes, too_

_BLAINE: Did you really just roll out of bed to immediately start sending me dirty texts?_

_SEB:_ _Are you re-thinking the Sunshine business yet? Anyway, I got up about a half hour ago._ _How is my Disney prince?_

_BLAINE: Better, now that my Disney hangover is gone. :P At 8AM when the alarm went off I was definitely regretting the last half hour of songs we sang last night_

_SEB: I tried to stop you, but you and your two boozy blond back-up singers would not hear of it. Colors in the Wind had to be sung!_

_BLAINE:_ _C_ _olors_ _OF_ _the_ _W_ _ind. The_ _boozy back-up singers_ _were hungover, too. I don't know why we bothered to attend the first panel, Sam fell asleep on Rob's shoulder and I fell asleep on Sam's._

_SEB: I'm going to hear about that one from Rob. He likes you guys, but he's no saint. Believe it or not, some people actually have boundaries, unlike you and Sam._

_BLAINE: I don't think he even noticed us, he fell asleep first, up against this pillar, and we had to wake him up at the end of the panel._

_SEB: Then it's lucky for him he's a sound sleeper. I'd say that I would have joined your napping domino lineup if I were there, but I think that synthetic robe of yours would have given me a rash if I had put my head in your lap._

_BLAINE: You definitely were the wisest of us all, staying in that luxurious Ritz Carlton bed. How are you feeling? You didn't move a muscle when I kissed you goodbye_

_SEB: Hope I didn't sleep through too good of a kiss. I'm shipshape, thanks to nine more hours of sleep and_ _yesterday's_ _all day house cal_ _l with_ _the brilliant Dr. Anderson._

_BLAINE: It was merely a peck on the cheek, I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful and beautiful. Very glad to hear you are feeling good again!_

_SEB: How is the fanboy frolic progressing?_

_BLAINE: It's so epic! They're playing life-size Wizard Chess! Sam is killing it!_

_SEB: I_ _'ll_ _admit that is one Pottergeek activity that sounds kind of intriguing. I trust you or Rob are documenting it for the world on social media. Btw, you've been hanging out with Sam too long. You are not allowed to use the word 'epic' for at least 24 more hours._

 _BLAINE: I'd take pics, but it's hard to see him anymore, they are using these dry ice bomb things every time a player/piece is taken so it_ _'s looks like a forest fire just happened in here_ _. I'd say you should come down and watch, but security is pretty tight and by the time you got here, it probably would be over. What are your plans today, now that you're feeling better?_

_SEB: The best driving range in the world, at least according to SI and Golf Digest, is about an hour away from here. I figure if I have time to kill, I may as well take the trek and see if it really is a version of golf nirvana. A couple hundred grass hitting stations on a 22 acre, circular driving range. It should prepare me to kick Thomas' ass when I get back to Stanford. Plus I suppose it's time to get out some of my aggression now that lacrosse season is over. You have boxing and therapy, I have golf and batting cages._

_BLAINE: That sounds incredible! I'm so glad you found that, I know you'll enjoy that. Just wear plenty of sunblock and don't forget to reapply every 90 minutes, especially if you drive with the top down . I wish_ _I could be in two places at once, enjoying you all sunkissed in that convertible would be blissful._ _And remember we'll be back for dinner with you tonight. Afterwards the guys and I were thinking we go to this awesome karaoke bar Rob and I heard about, sound good?_

_SEB: Sure, though at some point I'm going to want to go dancing_

_BLAINE: Last night the manager told us this place has a live band to back the biggest karaoke catalogue in town, and a dance floor there, too. I'm so psyched, I can't wait to duet with you, and Sam and I haven't sung together in weeks, either._

_SEB: Fine with me, as long as you dance with me and you sing me all the songs you promised me._

_BLAINE: I'm all yours :)_ _Though Sam_ _and Rob want me to remind you that you promised to use your smooth talking wingman ways to help them pick up girls._

_SEB: Tell them even my exceptional skills have limited efficacy if I'm pushing a defective product. In other words, tell Sam to get a haircut - there's a salon in the spa here - and inform Rob he needs to lose his smirk. And notify them both that they are not allowed to wear plaid._

_BLAINE: Y_ _OU_ _really can't tell people not to smirk_

_SEB: My smirk is genuine. I am internally doing exactly what a smirk implies - I am judging people and finding them amusing at the same time. For Rob, it's a cover-up. It's very jolting once he starts talking and the girls realize he's a nice guy._

_BLAINE: I know it's hard for you to fathom, but there actually is a subset of homo sapiens that have been known to be attracted to a nice guy._

_SEB: I'm not saying it's a bad thing (I'm hopelessly attracted to you, after all). There just has to be some truth in advertising. You should teach Rob your cute-hot smile that drew all the boys in the Castro last September. Otherwise girls who respond to the smirk are going to be disappointed again. Once they start talking to us they end up only wanting to hook up with me._

_BLAINE: They can't have you, and neither can the guys. You're MY bad boy_

_SEB: Possessive...that's kind of hot, Killer_

_BLAINE: Don't get me started on all the ways_ _you are_ _hot. ;)_

_SEB: Not today, I don't think we have that kind of time._

_BLAINE: Also don't get me started on all the ways you are conceited._

_SEB: We DEFINITELY don't have that kind of time_

_BLAINE: Sorry I've got to go, I'm already up next!_

_SEB: Go forth and smoke bomb._

_BLAINE: Have fun golfing! Wish I could come with you! Bye!_

_SEB: Bye_

* * *

_SEB: Okay, you really need to leave all that lunacy and get over here. This attachment has no filter and this is what a REAL driving range should look like._

[ ](http://imgur.com/nXXsXck)

_BLAINE: That's a driving range? Wow! If that's the driving range, what does the course look like?_

_SEB: It looks like a course I'm dragging you out to play on. There are actually two courses, both designed by Tom Fazio._ _And unlike a number of courses in Ohio, these are_ _actually worthy of the five star ranking. Saturday is the next open tee-time so I booked the Pine Barrens course - google it._

_BLAINE: That sounds fun. I wish my dad and Coop were here, Sam is going to frustrate you_

_SEB: I'm used to it now, Jay is a nightmare beginner. At least you and Rob are good._

_SEB: I gotta go - they're giving me my balls._

_SEB: Don't bother making the joke, it's too clich_ _é_

_BLAINE: Hah! :) Have fun! Missing you._

_SEB: Will check in later. Missing you, too._

* * *

_SEB: I knew the day was going too well. Tell the guys that I'm on the way to the police station, they'll get a kick out of that. The rental car was stolen_

_BLAINE:_ _Oh my god_ _! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. What happened?_ _Are you okay?_

_SEB: Lifted clean out of the parking lot of such a posh golf club, ridiculous_

_BLAINE: Is there anything we can do?_

_SEB: No, I'm just waiting for a cab - the rental agency is making me deal with it before they give me another car. With any luck I can still get back for a nap before dinner. How are things for you?_

_BLAINE: Great, big scavenger hunt this afternoon._

_SEB: Be forewarned, Rob's going to get obsessive - he get's WAY too into scavenger hunt type things._

_BLAINE: Shoot, my team is calling me. Are you sure there isn't anything we can do?_

_SEB:_ _You can come over and make out with me to pass the time. But I suppose we can do that later, and your team needs you, so go s_ _cavenge the hell out that place._

 _BLAINE:_ _The car is stolen and you're still flirting - impressive! Well j_ _ust let me know if you need anything else_ _._ _Bye!_

_SEB: Bye_

* * *

_BLAINE: Just checking in, how are things? So sorry your day took such an annoying turn._

_SEB: I've been here 55 minutes and no one will even stop to give me a police report to fill out. Apparently_ _this town_ _is rife with crimes of higher priority than a missing convertible._

_BLAINE: Oh that sucks, I wish I could be there to keep you company. I'd give you a hug and a kiss_

_SEB: The cab driver I paid $100 to wait for me is theoretically keeping me company, but since there is no window in sight, I'm not sure he's still out there._

_BLAINE: Here's hoping. How was the driving range?_

_SEB: Kickass...other worldly...zen_ _...u_ _ntil I got brained._

_BLAINE: Yikes, what happened?_

_SEB: Some idiot walking around with his club on his shoulder in the proshop turned quickly and clocked me on the side of the head._

_BLAINE: Oh no I_ _'m so sorry!_ _Are you okay?_

_SEB: Have a lump but I'll live. It's now just a vague memory, since I've aged 46 years sitting in this disgusting place. They need to have a chemical shower installed in here._

_BLAINE: Hang in there, hopefully they'll be able to give you that paperwork soon._

_SEB: Blaine Devon Anderson, I can always count on you to pull a rabbit out of the hat. From your text to god's ears, they just handed it over. More later._

_BLAINE: Awesom_ _e_ _! Good luck!_

* * *

_SEB: I may actually poke my own eyes out. After I took 15 minutes filling out their convoluted form, they took one look at it and asked me where I parked the car in the lot. When I told them, they said the car probably wasn't stolen, it was probably towed. They said the spot I parked in is kind of sketchy and cars get towed from it all the time. Then they looked it up on the computer and sure enough, it's at the impound yard. I should have just gone straight over there, he said. So that's 784 hours of my life I'll never get back. And of course my first cab is gone and I now have to wait until pigs freeze over for another one._

_BLAINE: Oh Seb, I can't believe you have to deal with all of this. Hopef_ _ully it won't take too long before it's all over._ _I promise we'll have a wonderful dinner and I'll spoil you with attention all night._

_SEB: I always appreciate being spoiled by you but I'm not sure I'm going to be up for going out. I better stop here, should probably save the battery on my phone_

_BLAINE: I think you should get a gourmet meal out_ _in a beautiful restaurant_ _, but we'll talk about it when you get back. I'm sending you a virtual kiss._

_SEB: Right back at you. Bye_

* * *

_SEB: This is what I get for being a nice guy? Turning over a new leaf? You know what I did this morning at the driving range? I let an old dude go ahead of me so he could hit next to his buddy. Then I even bought them a couple of drinks. And this is how I'm repaid_ _?_ _N_ _ot just by getting knocked in the dome, paying $100 to get ditched by that cab, and waiting 45 minutes for another cab that smelled like Hades' armpit_ _..._ _but to top it all off I'm being tortured by my very own bureaucratic nightmare. The impound guy says_

...

_BLAINE: You still there?_

_BLAINE: Shoot, I'm guessing you're out of battery_

_BLAINE: I don't know what else to say except I'm, so, so, sorry._

* * *

The door clicked open and Sebastian heard Blaine call out, "Seb?"

"In the bedroom," Sebastian answered in a monotone.

Blaine used the flip latch to leave the door ajar for Rob before he called out again as he crossed the living room. "Oh Seb, didn't you plug your phone in when you got back? Why didn't you call me or text me? I was so worried about you."

"I did plug it in," Sebastian continued sluggishly. "Sorry, I guess I should have texted you. I didn't want to bug you during your Potter parade and I just wanted to collapse and detox after all that bullshit I had to deal with. Where are the guys?"

"On their way. I left before the scavenger hunt award ceremony was over and got a cab on my own." Blaine entered the bedroom and sucked in a breath. Sebastian was laying on his chest diagonally on his bed, shirtless and displaying a hot pink sunburn on his back and the back of his neck. "Oh Seb! Does it hurt badly?"

"It hurts enough...the cumulative obnoxiousness of the day was more painful than anything. The scorching was just a rotting cherry on top." Sebastian looked deflated as he turned off the TV and dropped the remote on the bed.

Blaine sat down on the bed and stroked his hair. "Oh sweetie, I'm so, so sorry." He leaned over and kissed his cheek. "What happened? Do you want to talk about it? When it rains, it pours, I guess."

"Yeah, it was fucking torrential - it was like all my bad deeds came back to bite me in the ass in every annoying way," Sebastian growled.

"Well, it's such a cute ass," Blaine said, sticking his lower lip out in sympathy and patting him on the backside.

Sebastian didn't respond, his expression remaining dark. But he lay his head down on the cool white sheets and closed his eyes, feeling the familiar fingers comb through his hair and caress his cheek. Bit by bit, he slowly eased into some relief as Blaine's soothing presence began to sink in. He'd missed this so much. Finals and interviews would have been so much easier if Blaine had been there.

After a minute he took a breath and his story began to tumble out. "The idiot at the impound yard said he couldn't give me the car until I show him proof that the car belongs to me. I told him the rental agreement with my name on it is in the glove compartment of the car, so we'd need to go to the car and get it. He had the nerve to smirk at me and say he can't open the car unless he has proof that the car belongs to me. Again, retribution for every unmerited smirk I've ever bestowed in my life.

"We went about 8 rounds before I started a decision tree in my head to choose between throttling him or knocking that smug look off his face. Unfortunately his manager came out before I could start in on him. I suppose all the shouting tipped him off that his idiot employee had gone off-book."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Blaine said, eyes wide. "I can't believe how mean that bureaucrat iwas. I'm glad you didn't hurt him though, it wouldn't have been worth it."

"He had it coming, I think a judge would have gone easy on me," Sebastian's eye opened with his bitter expression.

"And you went out to the pool when you got back?" Blaine asked, examining the sunburn carefully and bending down again to put his cheek on Sebastian's before giving him another peck.

"Yeah, I wanted coffee but of course they were out of courvoisier at the bar so I gave up and got a scotch and then like an idiot I fell asleep for two hours and woke up like this."

"Oh Seb, luck just wasn't on your side today. I feel like a broken record , but I really am so, so, sorry." Blaine tried to think of what he could do. "I have some aloe lotion, let me ask Sam to get it on his way over." He pulled up his phone to text Sam. "We'll go have a good dinner, and then some music will cheer you up. That is, if you're up for it?"

"I'm not in the mood to go out, B," Sebastian said somberly, eyes closed again.

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked, looking crestfallen. "I think it will do you good to get some more air now that it's cooling off. You can enjoy a delicious meal in a beautiful restaurant." He joked tentatively, "I promise I'll eat whatever I order and I won't eat off your plate…"

"I'll believe that when I see it," Sebastian said in a feeble attempt to acknowledge Blaine's effort.

Blaine pushed on more earnestly. "After dinner we'll go out and sing and have some laughs. Sam and I can clown around on some silly songs to cheer you up, and Rob can...well he can just be Rob. And…"

They heard the door open and they saw Rob coming in, shedding off his costume as he walked across the living room towards them.

"Rob!" Blaine hailed him with relief. "I was just telling Sebastian that Sam and I can make him laugh at karaoke and that you can sit with him and make him feel better by...just being with him."

"Huh," Rob chuckled, "I'm not sure even Dumbledore has powers that great . But it's worth a try, especially since it requires no effort on my part." He sat down next to Sebastian, glancing at the sunburn but choosing not to ask about it. He just said quietly, "Sorry your day was so messed-up, man."

"You haven't even heard it all," Sebastian groused, his voice muffled in the bed.

"You can tell us over dinner," Rob replied. He ruffled Sebastian's hair and wasn't batted away, which made Blaine's heart warm. He had never seen Sebastian let anyone else except himself do that, except maybe Santana, and then it was when they were wrangling and Sebastian was trying to muss her hair up as well.

If Sebastian were to admit it, it felt good. Rob was always a calming presence. "I don't wanna go out," he sulked. He knew he sounded like a petulant child but was feeling too ill-tempered to care.

Sam came in the door, smiling as he entered into the bedroom and tossed the lotion at Blaine. "Whoa, that's a bad sunburn, Seb!"

"Thanks for the newsflash, Scoop." Sebastian said sarcastically, face still half buried into the mattress.

Blaine was standing up to step out of his wizard robe. "He fell asleep in the sun by the pool. Seb, I'm going to borrow one of your hoodies, I'm cold without my robe, but I don't want to scratch your skin with it while I put on your lotion."

"You're always cold," Sebastian said without expression. "You just want an excuse to steal another one of my hoodies."

Sam remarked, "Well, at least you didn't burn your face, Seb."

"I had covered my head with a towel to keep the sun out of my eyes," Sebastian said, reverting back to grumbling.

"That's something to be thankful for," Blaine said softly as he pulled the RC hoodie on.

"Yeah," grinned Sam. "I can't have a tomato-faced wingman."

Sebastian replied in a dull voice, "I'm not going to be your wingman tonight. I'm going to order room service and a movie and end this day as soon as possible."

"Aww, come on Seb!" Sam appealed. "You'll feel better if you come with us! Blaine's singing always makes you happy. And I won't even complain if you make me wear a tie and a jacket to a swanky place. I know you love to eat the fancy stuff…" He waggled his eyebrows. "And I know you love eye candy, which you'll probably get at a karaoke bar! You'll have fun making Blaine jealous! And most of all I know you love your friends, which is why I know you will love being my wingman and helping me get lucky!"

Sebastian rested his chin on his hands and grunted under his breath at Blaine. "Make him stop talking."

Blaine was chuckling at Sam. "I actually agree with Sam, except for the part about making me jealous," he smiled as he delicately smoothed lotion on Sebastian's shoulders and upper arms. "I think going out would cheer you up more than staying in and going to bed early." He looked up at Rob. "Don't you think so, Rob?"

"Yeah _you_ think going out will cheer him up, right?" Sam appealed to Rob.

Rob gave Sebastian's hand a quick pat before he stood up to go to the closet. "Well, there is evidence for the wisdom of their proposal, Seb. A change of pace in Tahoe snapped you out of your funk last quarter," he said thoughtfully. " But you should do whatever you want to do, man. I could attempt to play wingman for Sam. Or Blaine could."

"Oh no, if Seb doesn't go, I should stay in with him…" Blaine trailed off.

"Mmm…" Sebastian made an unintelligible noise.

"No, don't give in, Blaine! You guys have to come out!" implored Sam. "Remember we said we'd sing 'Heroes!'"

"Sorry Sam, but I want to stay with him if he wants to stay in," Blaine said apologetically, smoothing lotion on Sebastian's lower back.

Sebastian thought he heard a trace of disappointment in Blaine's voice. He said in a muted tone, "Go if you want, B. You don't need to babysit me."

"I wouldn't be babysitting," Blaine said sincerely. "I just want to be with you."

Sebastian rolled on his side and looked over at Blaine trying to be so bravely supportive. "Okay, okay." He glanced over with a warning look to Sam. "But yes, they require at least a jacket at this place Manuel's I want to try."

Blaine pushed him gently down to lay flat on the bed again and ran his fingers through the chestnut locks. "I think you made the right decision. We'll have a good time." He looked over at Rob, who was still fishing through the closet, and Sam, who was bouncing on his toes. "But let's not leave for a half hour, I want this lotion to settle in and then apply some more to keep cooling his skin down."

"Okay," said Rob, dropping some clothes and shoes on his bed. "In that case, I'm running downstairs for a snack. Sam, you want to come? "

Sam nodded and followed him, calling out as they opened the door, "We'll be back! Seb, you're not going to regret this!"

Sebastian replied loudly, "Just don't be shocked if we step out on the street and get hit by a bus. Karma's been a bitch today."

* * *

"Geez, it's mobbed in here," Sam said as they entered the bar.

"And loud," Sebastian said with irritation.

Blaine enthused, "Wow, this place is huge! Look at the lights! Oh my god there are like six microphones! And that band sounds awesome! And look at how big the stage is!" Tired Sebastian mustered an indulgent smile for him - after all, it was always adorable when Blaine fanboyed over a top-notch performance space.

Rob had headed without a word to the manager at the bar. A minute later he returned and they were led to a large booth in the center of the back wall in an elevated area with a good view of the stage. The manager gestured hospitably for them to sit down and removed the "reserved" sign on their table.

Blaine's eyes widened as they slid into the booth and surveyed the room. "Rob, you called ahead! You are so awesome."

"I've been hanging out with your man long enough to know how to do things," Rob said, as Sebastian slipped the manager a hundred dollar bill.

Blaine warmed at the reference to "his man." He snuggled up happily next to Sebastian, who had put his arm around him. "Seb does know how to enjoy life."

Sam noticed Sebastian still wasn't smiling. "Seb, you okay?"

"Yeah," Sebastian said dully. "Just tired, so all this noise is bugging me."

Blaine looked up at him. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Should we just get a cab and head back?"

"It's okay, babe." Sebastian said quietly. "I'll get used to it. Have some fun." He gave Blaine a kiss on the temple and summoned a small, half smile for him.

Blaine looked doubtful. "Okay... but tell me if you change your mind."

As the cocktail waitress approached, Rob nudged them and got Sam's attention as well. "Here's the waitress, get ready to act 21 - she'll definitely card us."

As they all reached for their wallets, Blaine said hopefully to Sebastian, "Maybe we can get you a Coke, get a little caffeine in you."

Sebastian took a deep breath. "Probably should make it a Red Bull."

The red-headed, twenty-something waitress reached the booth and greeted them pleasantly. "Hello guys, I'm Kelly. If you're ordering alcohol, let me see some ID's, if you please."

They handed them over and put on their most confident, relaxed looks. Sebastian was about to use one of his favorite waitress-beguiling lines when Kelly spoke up as she handed back their faux licenses. "New York and Washington, huh? Opposite ends of the country!"

"That's where we go to college. Three of us went to high school together, so we decided to meet up in Orlando," Sebastian replied smoothly.

"We thought it would more fun than Ohio," Blaine chimed in with his friendly smile. Sebastian squeezed his hand hard on his lap to get him to stop talking. Blaine, with his frank and open face, was the most likely to get questioned about his fake ID.

"I have family that just moved out to Washington," Kelly remarked sociably, handing them bar menus.

"What part of Washington?" Sebastian asked with a warm smile.

"Seattle. I haven't gone to visit them yet but my cousin is graduating from high school next year so maybe I'll go out for her graduation. She and I are so close, I was so bummed when they left. I don't have any brothers or sisters so she's like the closest thing I've got. We have spent all our holidays together, we're ten years apart but it doesn't matter, she's my girl. Anyway she's been telling me all about downtown, and the water, and the mountains nearby. The pictures are incredible, how you can see that Mt. Rainier pretty much from everywhere in the city? It looks so amazing."

Rob nodded affirmatively at her but Sebastian shot a quick warning look at him. _Don't prolong this._

Kelly went on vivaciously, "And the people seem so mellow but kinda sophisticated, too! My aunt says it's so nice to be in a city where everyone doesn't work in tourism. They are in a smaller place but they don't mind because the building is nicer and the school is nicer. You would think she would hate moving in the middle of high school but she has already made some nice friends and the few friends she cares about here she talks to every second on Twitter and text and everything so she's really doing okay. I really do want to visit her soon, it all sounds really neat."

"A little too cool for me," Sebastian replied pleasantly, trying to stem the tide of her storytelling. "Florida's climate works better for me."

[ ](http://imgur.com/F6g4Z4N)

"I'm bored of the weather here - I was born here." Kelly shrugged genially.

"Well then come and have a look. But believe me, the rain gets old fast, too. On the other hand, there are no obnoxious tourists there," Sebastian said with his charming grin.

Kelly's eyes twinkled at him. "I won't comment on that until the end of the night. Now, what can I get you guys?" She took their drink orders before disappearing through the crowd.

Sebastian's smile instantly vanished and he leaned his head back in the booth to close his eyes.

Rob patted his shoulder and said dryly, "Sometimes it's so exhausting to be the Great Sebastian Smythe. He looks like he might have a relapse of the flu."

"NOT funny," Sebastian snarled without opening his eyes.

Rob patted his shoulder again and continued, "Yet he refuses to delegate the buttering-up-the-waitress responsibilities to anyone else. He claims that if you want an important job done right, sometimes you just have to do it yourself."

Blaine looked at him and shook his head. "Seb, you really do look too tired to do this, let's just go back."

"No, no, no - wait for my Red Bull," Sebastian said, lifting his head up to look at him. He added listlessly, "Why don't you go look at the karaoke list? I know you're dying to get on that stage."

Blaine looked uncertain.

Sam interrupted, "Seb, why don't you play wingman for me? Maybe that will wake you up and cheer you up." He added in his most persuasive tone, "I'm not wearing plaid!"

Sebastian looked ambivalent.

Blaine said to Sam, "Seb's too tired, leave him alone." He added brightly, "But I'll be your wingman. What do I do?"

Sebastian had to smile softly at that. "Killer, what are you going to do, talk to them about Star Wars? Or Broadway and the Buckeyes?"

Blaine elbowed at him. “What, you think I can’t help Sam get a girl?”

"I think you could get a girl for yourself just by flashing your bedroom eyes and your schoolboy smile, but getting Sam a girl is a whole other ball game - one you obviously don't have much experience with. I think you should leave this to the professionals." He addressed Sam with a patient look around the room, "Sammy, you see anyone you like?"

"How hard can it be?" Blaine interrupted with shrug. "You go talk to them, say things that make Sam look good, right?"

Sebastian shook his head. "It's so much more complex than that. Girls will chat with anyone who flatters them with a little attention in a bar, provided they don't seem like a complete creetin. But girls travel in packs. Getting them to leave the pack for the rest of the night so that Rob or Sam get some quality alone time? You have to get them to not just come out and play, but to also _trust_ you _._ "

Rob chuckled. "With every other friend I have, I have to talk them into playing wingman. Seb on the other hand, starts picking girls and pitching schemes at me as soon as I walk into any party or bar. He claims to be looking after me." He looked at Sebastian with affection before shaking his head. "But I think it's really all for sport. When we crashed a football party and spotted some Stanford cheerleaders, I kid you not, he literally rubbed his hands together like a cartoon villain and said, "Ah, big game hunting!"

Sam and Blaine burst out laughing and even Sebastian had to smile. "Okay, but it was actually the Berkeley Big Game weekend and we had been to two parties before that, so I was more than a little wasted. And what are you complaining about, I got Tracy Jefferson to give you her number AND make out with you that night!"

Rob grinned at the memory. "He likes to strategize to get a target in the cross hairs, move in for the kill, and snare the prey. He's even got our friend Jay fascinated now. Last time we were in San Francisco he was masquerading as a director and he had Jay pretending he was an actor in a music video that 'my band' was apparently shooting the next day."

Sebastian rolled his eyes at that. "You continue to grossly undervalue what Jay and I were setting up there. You absolutely would have gone home with one or BOTH of those girls if stupid Charlie hadn't barreled in on us without any warning. That kid should know by now to text first if he's decides at the last minute to join us at a club..."

Sam laughed as Blaine said, "Really, Seb - Rob's a great, handsome guy. I don't think it has to be so elaborate."

Sebastian countered, "Sometimes it does. Those girls were MODELS. They get to be picky and they also feel fairly vulnerable most of the time in the big, bad, sexist world that literally slices and dices them based on their looks or how effectively they pout or strut down a runway. Making girls like that feel attracted _and_ safe is no small feat."

"Well then I don't see how you can help them feel safe, you seem dangerous when anyone first meets you," Blaine grinned.

Sebastian shrugged. "You don't think our waitress would send her sixteen year old cousin to meet me for coffee to get college admissions advice?"

"You are so full of yourself," Blaine laughed. "I am more than capable of helping Sam get a girl." A gleam suddenly appeared in his eye. "Hey, I know what will cheer you up - a friendly little competition! Rob and Sam pick a girl they both like. You try to get her for Rob, and I try to get her for Sam!"

Sebastian looked tolerant. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you…this stuff is harder than it looks."

Blaine added, "And I say we karaoke serenade, to make it more fun."

"Of course you want to make this a sing-off," Sebastian said, looking amused and shaking his head.

"What, are you chicken, Smythe?" Blaine taunted merrily.

"No, it just a bit of a bait and switch if you sing and then hand Sam over. And yeah, obviously you're a better singer than I am."

"Oh brother...it depends on the song. And I don't have to sing lead."

Sam and Sebastian raised their eyebrows at each other. _Since when?_ Sebastian mouthed, earning a chuckle from Sam.

Blaine gave them a dirty look. "I just thought it would be fun if we sing, we are in a karaoke bar, after all. We should duet or do a group number, with Rob or Sam on lead," he declared.

Rob leaned over and whispered in Sebastian's ear, earning a small smile, a nod and a whispered reply that made Rob say, "Oh right, definitely."

Sebastian yawned and said to Blaine, "You're on. But don't take it out on me if you lose."

Blaine scoffed at him. "Oh, please!" He gestured around the room with bravado. "Okay, Rob and Sam - who will it be?!"

While Sam and Blaine started scoping out targets, Sebastian untangled himself from Blaine and bumped Rob out of the booth. "I'll get them from the car," he said in a weary tone to Rob.

"You're tired - I can go." Rob said, gesturing for Sebastian to sit back down.

"I need some air, it's okay," Sebastian said, waving him off before he left.

"What's he doing?" Blaine asked over the din.

Sam distracted them when he pointed out a pretty brunette nearby. She was surrounded by a group of other young women. "How about her?"

"No objection here," Rob said approvingly.

Blaine said industriously, "Okay, now let's pick our songs."

"You guys go pick one for Sam. I'm a tenor and can fake a counter tenor, if you want me to sing back-up," Rob said. "I'll hold down the booth."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the first round of drinks arrived and Sebastian had just returned from the car. A few minutes later, Sam and Blaine were returning from meeting the band and a thorough review of the karaoke catalogue.

Sam enthused, "Man they really do have a huge selection and the band guys seem so cool! Sorry we took so long, but once this guy got started," he pointed at Blaine, "he wouldn't pick one until we had gone through the whole catalogue!"

Blaine noticed Sebastian had dumped the blazers they had worn to dinner in the booth. "What do you have those for?" he asked.

"Costumes," Sebastian said calmly. "You and Sam will need them when you are singing back-up with me for Rob. Just follow my lead, you guys know the music. Especially you." He patted Blaine's cheek.

"We don't need you guys for our number, and if you're going to be mysterious about your song selection, so will we." Blaine said with a smile.

Sam added, "And we don't need any flashy costumes, either!"

Blaine was staring at the pack of girls that were their target.

"Which one?" Sebastian asked.

"That one," Blaine pointed. "Long, dark hair, bright red satin blouse?"

"Got it," Sebastian still sounded a bit tired. "Okay Killer, let's see what you got. Shall we bring the boys with us to meet the little lady, or do you prefer…"

Blaine had stopped listening, grabbing his hand, dragging him towards the target group.

"...the advance guard strategy." Sebastian finished under his breath.

"Go get 'em!" Sam hollered after them.

Rob called out, "Straighten up and fly right, Seb - remember, we ALWAYS win!"

"Why am I not surprised this isn't your first wingman contest?" Blaine laughed.

Sebastian surprised Blaine a little by edging ahead of him through the crowd and reaching the table first, not speaking in favor of taking a deliberate beat to steep the table with his most charismatic smile. His green eyes roved the group with captivating cool as he draped his lean, muscular frame against the booth.

Blaine joined him a few seconds later, hazel eyes sparkling. "Hello ladies," he began with a dazzling smile. "Sorry to disturb you, but we were wondering if we could get your help…" They both were greeted with appraising looks and pleased smiles.

Sebastian finally spoke up, completing the transformation to his most rakishly attractive self. He turned to the target brunette with an arresting smile as he coaxed for her name. "In particular, we need _your_ help…"

"Cristina," the brunette supplied with an amused look.

He extended his hand. "Sebastian Smythe."

Blaine leaned in, looking irresistible, and shook her hand as well. "Blaine Anderson."

Sebastian broke into his most engaging smile. "You can get that guarded look out of your eye, Beautiful. We have no designs on you, though if I was straight I certainly would."

The group of onlooking girls snickered and there was a chorus of commentary, some voices sounding drunker than others:

"That's a good one!"

"That's a wolf in sheep's clothing if I ever saw one!"

"I don't know, look at his hair, it's too perfect for him to be straight."

"Could just be metrosexual."

"Pray that the darker haired one isn't gay, too."

"Why are the cutest ones always gay? "

"It's a line!"

Sebastian smirked at the group. "You need evidence of our sexuality?" He pulled a surprised Blaine into his arms to kiss him passionately. They forgot where they were for a moment as thei r kiss grew more heated. Sebastian's hand began its southward migration while Blaine's hand slipped around to Sebastian's abs.

As the surprised gasps, cheers and catcalls brought them back to earth Sebastian looked back at the group and smiled coolly. "If you still don't believe me, we can do it again."

Cristina laughed. "So what do you need help with?"

Sebastian pointed at their booth, where Sam and Rob were watching. Rob gave an enigmatic smile while Sam waved with sweet one.

Sebastian wrinkled his brow at Sam's earnest expression and muttered under his breath in awe. "Damn, Santana was right, he really does have no game."

Blaine hit him in the arm.

"Sorry, did I say that out loud?" Sebastian said, chuckling.

Blaine spoke with an easy smile to Cristina. "Those guys are NOT gay and they are looking to have a sing off. We thought they could use an impartial judge."

Sebastian smiled at her as well. "And we thought you looked like a decisive person. Someone who might be able to discern which one is a better performer," he cocked his head towards his friends, "and which one you want to have as your date tonight."

The group around them hooted but Cristina kept her cool, smiling and shaking her head at Blaine and Sebastian.

A pretty blonde sitting next to Cristina piped up. "You actually couldn't have picked a better judge, Cristina is a great karaoke singer!"

"And a great date!" Another friend added with a grin.

Cristina glared at her friends before raising an eyebrow and replying, "I don't know...you guys have to tell me a little more about your friends…" she looked over to Rob and Sam and waved at them. "Like why they aren't over here talking to me themselves?"

Sebastian was quick to answer. "They think we're over here asking if gay PDA turns girls on."

Blaine laughed, glancing at Sebastian and looking impressed. "They are both great guys. The one on the left is my roommate Sam - he's in an arts conservatory with me, he's a mixed media artist and the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. The one on the right is Rob, he's Sebastian's roommate at Stanford. They're both very down to earth, lovely guys."

"The one on the left has ridiculously fine abs…" Sebastian added with a humorous nod.

Blaine rolled his eyes and interjected with a conspiratorial grin, "The one on the right has a good upper body too, and a cute butt."

Sebastian smirked at Blaine. "Whose wingman are you, anyway? And all your crushing on our straight friends needs to stop."

"All your crushing on Sam's abs needs to stop."

"How about my crush on you? You're so sexy when you're jealous..." Sebastian seized him by the waist again and started kissing him with playful aggression. Blaine laughed and pulled away, blushing.

Cristina was chuckling at their exchange. She looked at her friends with a questioning look and they all started egging her on. "Fine," she said, producing a cheer from her friends. "But if they end up being slimy, you two are going get something slipped in your drinks."

"I like her," Sebastian announced carelessly to the group. "Confident _and_ potentially lethal."

"And she goes to Harvard!" someone called out.

"All the better," Sebastian called back with satisfaction. "That means she should be able to keep up with Rob."

Blaine said engagingly, "Cristina, do you want to come back to our table? There's a better view of the stage, and you can meet the guys. You can bring a friend, if you like."

Cristina took a second and then beckoned to her blonde friend to come along. "Okay," she agreed. "But one creepy remark and we're out of there."

* * *

In few minutes introductions were made. Sebastian settled Cristina and her friend Lori next to him, keeping Rob on his other side to minimize any early awkwardness. A few minutes later, Blaine and Sam appeared on stage, emanating their most magnetic appeal while singing this song:

 _[Hear Say, Say, Say on our_ _[playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn)_

Sam [looking at Cristina]:  
_Say, Say, Say What You Want,  
But Don't Play Games With My Affection.  
Take, Take, Take What You Need,  
But Don't Leave Me With No Direction._

Blaine: _ **  
**__All Alone, I Sit Home By The Phone,  
Waiting For You,_

He pointed at Sebastian:  
_Baby!  
__**  
**_ Sam: _ **  
**__Baby!_

Blaine:  
_Through The Years,  
How Can You Stand To Hear,_

Blaine got on his knees and put his hands in prayer position to beseech in Sebastian's direction. Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle at his antics:  
_My Pleading For You Dear?  
You Know I'm Crying _

Sam and Blaine stepped into in simple but crowd-pleasing synchronized moves:  
_Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh._

Blaine: _ **  
**__Yeah Yeah_

Sam sang as they dramatically hopped off the stage into the audience, earning cheers from the crowd:  
_Go, Go, Go Where You Want,_

He wagged his finger at Cristina: _  
But Don't Leave Me Here Forever.  
You, You, You Stay Away,  
So Long Girl, I See You Never._

Blaine did a signature spin as he followed Sam through the crowd toward their table, where Sebastian was smiling softly, warming at the lyrics:  
_What Can I Do  
__Boy To Get Through To You?  
__Cause I Love You  
__Baby!_

Sam stopped in front of Cristina and leaned across the table to sing to her:  
_Baby!_

Blaine good-naturedly swept Rob out of the booth and climbed into Sebastian's lap. Sebastian chuckled and looked happier than Rob had probably ever seen him:  
_Sitting Here, Baptized In All My Tears,  
Baby Through The Years,  
You Know I'm Crying_

Sam dragged Blaine back to the stage where they did some synchronized vaudeville style moves:  
_Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh.  
Say Say Say_

When the song ended the crowd burst into applause. Rob looked over at Sebastian who was smiling and talking quietly to Cristina. "What were you just whispering to her?" he asked in a wary, muted tone.

"Don't worry, Robbie...I'm just providing a little competitive intelligence so she can make an informed decision."

Rob furrowed his brow. "Let's not oversell, bro." Sebastian winked at him and waved him off with an innocent smile.

Blaine and Sam came over, exuberant from their performance. Rob congratulated them and left to speak with the band before Blaine slid into the booth. Before either of them said a word, Sebastian pulled Blaine into a long, dizzying kiss, muting the din of the room. He whispered, "You sure know how to kick an evil mood to the curb." He squeezed his hand and kissed Blaine's cheek, murmuring, "Sorry for being in such a wicked mood."

Blaine gave him a kind smile and kissed him gently. "A day like yours merited it. Thank you for humoring me and coming out. I promise you we're going to have a night so good that you'll forget that horrible afternoon ever happened."

"Already forgotten." Sebastian said, brushing his nose across Blaine's cheek and kissing him again, so deeply and for so long that they were reeling a bit when they parted for air.

"You just want to distract me from my wingman responsibilities," Blaine teased breathlessly.

Sebastian smirked at him before his thoughts returned to their roommates. "Yeah, you'd better get up there before Rob's poorly disguised nervousness turns him into a pumpkin." Blaine nodded, giving him a quick parting kiss before he dragged off Sam, who had been chatting with Lori.

Sebastian stood up after they left and turned to Cristina. "Hey Harvard, my overachieving roommate wants to rehearse Blaine and Sam before he starts, and it looks like the band is taking a break. While they do that, come outside and give me the real deal on Crimson. I rejected an admissions offer from there so I'm always interested in the insider's perspective about my decision." He jerked his thumb towards the door. "Come for a walk? It's so noisy in here that it's making head ache. No joke, I got hit in the head with a golf club today."

"Yikes," Cristina said, eyebrows raised. "How bad was it?"

"I'm bouncing back," Sebastian said amiably. He offered his hand to help her out of the booth, appealing to Lori with his big green eyes. "You don't mind if I steal her for a little bit, do you? Bring over more of your girlfriends, order anything you want, it's on me."

"I'm fine," Lori said with a understanding smile, waving them off.

"So what do you want to know about Harvard?" Cristina said loudly over the noise as they began to cross the large room.

"Just begin at the beginning," he said shouted back. "I didn't even consider it, mainly to spite my old man. Stanford is exceeding expectations by a good stretch, but every so often I muse about what could have been." He joked, "So tell me everything, but don't make it sound too perfect, okay?"

"Well it's not perfect, but overall it's been pretty great, and you'd fit in pretty seamlessly," Cristina laughed as Sebastian swept his arm around her to guide her masterfully through the crowd.

"Well I prefer to stand out, rather than fit in, so I guess I made the right choice. Do you know anything about the lacrosse or acapella scene?"

They were halfway across the room when they heard a steady beat along with vaguely familiar opening bars.

 _[Hear the Jersey Boys medley_ _on our[playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn)_.

Rob's voice boomed over a microphone from on stage. "Cristina, don't leave with that guy. He's gay! And you should see him without any product in his hair! Please, give me one more chance...just one more dance, won't you please..."Then he held out an arm towards her and belted out with conviction:

_STAY_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _ **  
**__Stay, stay, stay_

Rob:  
_Aw just a little bit longer_

Sebastian smiled broadly as his voice joined Blaine and Sam's. He made a U-turn with Cristina to sweep her back to the booth, whispering "Gotcha!" before turning on his heel and winking at the audience as he made his way to the stage.

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Stay, stay, stay_

Rob clasped his hands around the microphone in entreaty:  
_Please, please, please, please, please_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Stay, stay, stay_

Rob:  
_Tell me that you're gonna_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Stay, stay, stay_

Rob: **  
**_Now your daddy don't mind_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam _:  
__Stay, stay, stay_

Rob:  
_And your momma don't mind_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Stay, stay, stay_

Rob:  
_If we have another dance, yeah_

When he got close enough, Sebastian caught a microphone Blaine tossed at him and his long legs got him up on stage in a flash so he could slip his blazer on quickly and fall into step with Blaine and Sam's Jersey Boys-style moves.

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Stay, stay, stay_

Rob:  
_Just one more,_

All: _  
__O_ _ne more time_

Rob: _ **  
**__Oh won't you stay_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Stay, stay, stay_

Rob: _ **  
**__Just a little bit longer_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Stay, stay, stay_

Rob: _ **  
**__Please, please, please, please, please_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Stay, stay, stay_

Rob: _ **  
**__Tell me that you're gonna_

… _  
_

Blaine, Sebastian and Sam two-stepped around Rob:  
_There ain't no good in our goodbyin'  
__True love takes a lotta tryin'  
__Oh I'm cryin'_

Rob led the group in choreography he had shown Sebastian, Roger, and Thomas in their dorm long ago, drunk on a case of beer:  
_Let's hang on to what we got  
__Don't let go girl, we got a lot  
__Got a lot of love between us  
__Hang on, hang on, hang on_

Rob:  
_To what we got_

Sebastian began to up the complexity of the choreography, causing Sam, and even Blaine at moments, to scramble to keep up:  
_Do do, do do, do do_

Rob:  
_You say you're gonna go and call it quits  
__Gonna chuck it all and break our love to bits_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Break it up_

Rob: _ **  
**__I wish you'd never said it_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Break it up  
__**  
**_ Rob: _  
I know we'll both regret it...Baby_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam wagged their index fingers at Cristina:  
_D_ _on't you go_

Rob gestured in appeal to Cristina: _ **  
**__Baby_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
__O_ _h no no_

Rob: _ **  
**__Baby_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Come on over and stay_

All:  
_Let's hang on to what we got  
__Don't let go girl, we got a lot  
__Got a lot of love between us  
__Hang on, hang on, hang on_

Rob:  
_To what we got_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam began to clown, stacking their faces one above the other: _  
__Do do, do do, do do_

…

Rob [gesturing magnanimously between Sam and Cristina]:  
_I can see  
__There ain't no room for me  
__You're only holding out your heart in sympathy_

[Pointing at Sam]  
_If there's another man  
__Then girl I understand  
__Go on and take his hand  
__And don't you worry 'bout me_

_I'll be blue_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Boo do do do_

Rob: _ **  
**__And I'll be crying too_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Boo way do_

Rob: _ **  
**__But girl, you know I only want what's best for you_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Boo way do_

Rob: _ **  
**__What good is all my pride_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Do do do do do do_

Rob made Cristina laugh with his attempts to look noble and tragic:  
_If our true love has died_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Do do do_

Rob pointed at Sam: _ **  
**__Go on and be his bride_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Baby_

Rob swept the back of his hand across his forehead in martyrdom:  
_And don't you worry 'bout me_

All: _ **  
**__I'll be strong  
__I'll try to carry on  
__Although you know it won't be easy when you're gone_

Rob:  
_I'll always think of you_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Baby_

Rob: _ **  
**__The tender_ _love we knew_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Baby_

Rob: _ **  
**__But somehow I'll get through_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Baby_

Rob: _ **  
**__So don't you worry 'bout me_

… _ **  
**_

Rob's tenor rang out clear and strong:  
_Bye, bye, baby  
__Baby goodbye_

Sebastian led Blaine and Sam in clowning their way through borderline Supremes moves that made the crowd laugh:  
_Bye baby, baby bye bye_

Rob:  
_Bye, bye, baby  
__Don't make me cry_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Bye baby, baby bye bye_

Rob:  
_You're the one girl in town I'd marry  
__Girl I'd marry you now if I were free  
__I wish it could be  
__  
I can love you but why begin it  
__'Cause there ain't any future in it  
__She_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
She's got me and I'm not free so bye..._

Rob: _  
__Bye, bye, baby_ _  
__Baby goodbye_ _  
__**  
**_ Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Bye baby, baby bye bye_

Rob: _  
Bye, bye, baby  
Don't make me cry  
__**  
**_ Sebastian, Blaine and Sam: _  
Bye baby, baby bye bye_

Rob: _ **  
**__Bye, baby bye_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Bye baby, baby bye bye_

Rob: _ **  
**__Cry, baby cry_

Sebastian, Blaine and Sam:  
_Bye baby, baby bye bye_

All: _ **  
**__Bye baby, baby bye bye_

_Bye_

The bar erupted into absolute mayhem as the showy performance ended. Rob bowed modestly and led the group back to their booth where they bowed again in front of Cristina. Sebastian applauded harder than anyone as Sam presented Rob to Cristina in a generous gesture.

"I'm not going to make you choose!" Sam shouted over the boisterous crowd, looking exhilarated from the performance. "Rob hit that one over the fence!"

Cristina blew Sam a kiss and gave him a rueful smile before gesturing for Rob to sit down next to her. The crowd cheered even more wildly and Sebastian smirked as he noticed a light blush creep across Rob's face.

Sebastian commented to Blaine, "It's impressive that Robbie was able to get the girl even when the last two parts of that medley were about giving up on her and saying goodbye."

"Hard-to-get can be pretty hard to resist!" Blaine said with a wink. "Look how it worked out for me."

Sebastian put his arms around him and gave him a kiss that went from sweet to hot in seconds, before Blaine had to break away with a chuckle.

"What?" Sebastian said, looking annoyed.

"Sorry, it's not you, it's Sam," laughed Blaine. " He just whispered in my ear 'stop attacking him,' in Na'vi!"

Sam nudged them into the booth next to Rob while Sebastian said sardonically, "Great, I'm now getting cockblocked in nerd languages, too."

Blaine patted his cheek and nestled up next to him before he turned to Sam. "That was really nice of you to not make Cristina choose."

Sam shrugged good-naturedly. "A Harvard girl seems more Rob's speed."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and said, "I think Cristina would have found you and your Paul McCartney number hotter if you would have just cut your hair."

Rob leaned away from Cristina to say dryly to his roommate, "Correction, YOU would have found Sam and his Paul McCartney number hotter if he would have just cut his hair," Sebastian rolled his eyes as Blaine and Sam laughed.

Blaine was smiling widely as he asked the whole table, "Okay, who knew that of the four of us, the one who has never been in a glee club has the best voice?"

"Hey now," Sebastian furrowed his brow at him.

"You're still the handsomest and the most fascinating," Blaine said affectionately, rubbing his leg and giving him a peck on the cheek.

" _You_ have the best voice of any of us," Sebastian clarified, smiling down at him and tightening his arm around him.

"Are you nuts?" Blaine looked at him with a furrowed brow before turning to regard the rest of the group with high good humor. "Rob has a killer tenor! Frankie Valli would have been impressed! I can't sing that beautifully, that high, for that long. It's a stretch for my falsetto to hit some of those notes, and mainly only for cheesey disco."

"Yes, Rob's got a surprisingly impressive high range on those songs," Sebastian nodded at his roommate before turning back to Blaine. "But your voice is just as good, just in a different way. It's richer, you're way more versatile and your phrasing is better."

"I'm sure that's true," Rob agreed. "I'm a one trick pony, I've been singing those songs since I was a kid." He added in a quieter voice so Cristina wouldn't hear, "And my ex made me see Jersey Boys in Vegas three times."

"Whatever, I can't believe you've been holding out on me all this time," Sebastian said with a stern look at his roommate. "You have pipes, Rob Base, yet all this time, at every party you've been shoving _me_ up on stage to sing karaoke for you."

"Now you know how I feel," Blaine said with a smile, cuddling closer.

Sebastian pressed his cheek on Blaine's hair as he arched an eyebrow at Rob. "You are joining Mixed Company," he commanded. "I'll tell them you don't need to audition." He went on to smirk at his roommate, "And I'm sure you're not going to refuse, because I know you want another opportunity to spend more time with me."

Rob said with deadpan sarcasm, "Yes, that's exactly what I need."

Sebastian whispered to Sam and Blaine, "Watch this." He winked at Rob and said loudly enough for Cristina to hear, "You could help me and my friend Karen arrange some of the music. "

Rob straightened up and shifted slightly in his seat. "Leave me alone, Seb. I'm busy," he said before turning all of his attention back to Cristina.

"You are cruel," Blaine said to Sebastian, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"I am the ultimate wingman, that's what I am." Sebastian said triumphantly before turning to Sam. "Okay, you're up, Sammy – pick yourself a honey."

"No, that is still my job!" Blaine looked suddenly industrious.

Sam smiled modestly and waved him off. "Let's head out to another bar when Rob's ready. I'm sure all the girls here just wish they were Cristina."

"No way," Blaine demurred, looking guilty. "I'm sure plenty of them think you were the hotter one. I just…failed you as your wingman. We should have...picked a better song."

Sebastian furrowed his brow at the hesitation he heard. His steady hand coaxed Blaine to face him so he could study his eyes. "You handsome devil…you picked a suboptimal song on purpose. You threw our little game!"

Blaine looked at him and wrinkled his nose. "Well, you DO like to win, and it did cheer you up." he said with a mischievous smile.

"A pity win, you gave me a pity win!" Sebastian smiled, shaking his head and clucking his tongue. "Well if you were trying to choose a bad song, you failed. That song worked on me." He added quietly, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "You can take _me_ home tonight."

Blaine gave him a sweet kiss and rubbed his arm before continuing. "It's a great song, you know I adore MJ _and_ The Beatles. But it didn't really express Sam."

Sebastian nodded thoughtfully. "You should have gone with something he knows inside out and upside down like Rob did. Though even if you picked a better song," he addressed Sam, "It was a mistake to duet at all with Killer here. He always pulls focus."

"That's not true," Blaine said, shaking his head but smiling at the compliment. "Rachel always pulled focus in West Side Story." His eyes were soft as he thought, _And when I sang with Kurt, he sometimes pulled focus._

"Well obviously I have always been a little biased," Sebastian said, kissing Blaine's cheek before turning to speak to Sam again. "But I do agree that there are plenty of girls here who probably prefer you to Robbie. After all, Cristina may have made her choice partially on some unseen factors." He smirked and looked mischievously at Blaine.

Blaine rebuked, "Sebastian Chase Smythe, what did you do?"

"I may have whispered in Cristina's ear that Sam's got a girl back in Scotland."

Blaine smacked him on the side of his head, "You cheater! That whole contest was rigged before we even sang our less-than-optimal song!"

"Hey, we never said that the competition was based solely on those performances. It was a contest of who is the best wingman. I merely used a known fact at my disposal. 'What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.' Read _The Art of War_ sometime, B."

Sam laughed as Blaine rolled his eyes at Sebastian and practically dumped him out of the booth. "We are going to sing another song and get you a girl Sam, and Mr. Sun Tzu here can count on not having me in his lap this time."

"Oh I bet you'll be back soon enough. I'll be waiting for you…" Sebastian winked as he took a swig of his scotch and sang with a cheesy performance smile:

 _All Alone  
_ _I Sit Home By The Phone  
_ _Waiting For You  
_ _Baby!  
_ _Baby!_

_[Author's note: This is the halfway point of this long chapter, if you need to take a break! ]_

A few minutes later, they were back on stage. Blaine spoke in the microphone with amiable confidence, pointing at Sam. "Ladies, how many of you think my friend Sam here was robbed in that sing off?!"

The crowd cheered loudly in response. "Well, then let me present his encore. I'm sure you'll all agree he lives up to the song's name." He grinned and presented Sam with a flourish:

 _[Hear "Allstar"_ _on our[playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn)]_.

Sam:  
_Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me  
__I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed  
__She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb  
__In the shape of an "L" on her forehead_

 _Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming_  
_Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running_  
_Didn't make sense not to live for fun_  
_Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb_

 _So much to do so much to see_  
_So what's wrong with taking the back streets?_  
_You'll never know if you don't go_  
_You'll never shine if you don't glow_

Blaine:  
_Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
__Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid_

[Presenting Sam]:  
_And all that glitters is gold_

Both:  
_Only shooting stars break the mold_

Sam:  
_It's a cool place and they say it gets colder  
__You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older  
__But the media men beg to differ  
__Judging by the hole in the satellite picture_

 _The ice we skate is getting pretty thin_  
_The water's getting warm so you might as well swim_  
_My world's on fire. How about yours?_  
_That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored._

Blaine:  
_Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold  
Only shooting stars break the mold_

Sam and Blaine played leapfrog across the stage before Blaine started turning cartwheels while Sam worked the crowd.

_Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play  
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid  
And all that glitters is gold _

_Only shooting stars break the mold_

The audience applause was deafening and Sam and Blaine were swarmed as they descending the stage. After a several minutes of being surrounded by girls with Sam, Blaine extracted himself to come sit with Sebastian. "I had to tell them that I don't play on their team," he laughed.

"There you go again, breaking hearts wide open all over the place," Sebastian said fondly, putting his arm around him.

Blaine curled up close. "Where is everyone?"

"Lori went to powder her nose. Rob and Cristina went out for a romantic stroll," Sebastian replied.

Blaine looked up at him with an endearing smile. "And when do _we_ get to go for a romantic stroll?"

Sebastian said with mock-severity, "I don't want to go until I get at least two of the four Blaine Anderson songs owed to me."

Blaine chuckled. "You don't forget anything, huh? Well, don't my two songs with Sam count for two of them?"

"Maybe," Sebastian smirked.

Blaine shook his head and smiled. "Oh, but don't forget three of my songs are supposed to be duets with you."

"You said I didn't have to tonight, due to my T _errible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day_ .…and anyway, Rob's never ending Jersey Boys number _has_ to count for one of them."

"Maybe," Blaine tapped his finger to his lips, weighing his options.

"Do I need to remind you that I had to sit in a police station today? I'm traumatized and emotionally spent," Sebastian said dramatically, throwing the back of his hand across his forehead.

"You act like you were behind bars. You were waiting on paperwork. But I suppose I'll allow it, you did make an alluring Jersey Boy," Blaine said, with a warm smile.

Sebastian nestled in closer and nibbled his ear. "As did you."

Blaine shivered at the ticklish feeling and smiled at the memory. "It was so fun to perform with you - though Sam and I could barely keep up with your moves! I can't believe we've never sung together before, outside of Christmas carols and for your grandmother. It was so fun to dance and let loose with you on a stage!"

Sebastian's eyes gleamed suddenly. "I have a perfect duet for us..." He slid out of the booth, dragging Blaine with him.

"What?"

"You'll see..." Sebastian said with an enigmatic smile, throwing their blazers on the table and pulling Blaine through the crowd.

Ten minutes later, after a sorority girl sang a couple of Celine Dion songs, Rob and Cristina returned to their booth where Sam sat joking around with Lori.

"Where are Seb and Blaine?" Rob asked over the din as he slid into the booth..

Sam shrugged, looking around to search the crowd.

Rob gave him a stern look. "Sam, I assumed you could keep an eye on them. For all we know they could be getting busy in the back of the rental car…"

"Ugh!" Sam shuddered. "Sorry man, I got mobbed after our performance! If it weren't for Lori here rescuing me by pretending she was my girlfriend, I might still be knee deep in chicks who dig Smashmouth!"

Rob pointed to their roommates on the side of the stage. "There they are, they must be waiting to duet."

They were interrupted when the lights dimmed dramatically as a spotlight hit the small stage.

Sebastian strolled on the stage, owning it with a devil-may-care attitude and a swing in his walk. Rob and Sam smiled at each other. "Leave it to Sebastian to get the management to do something extra dramatic with the lighting," Rob rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"It also could have been Blaine - he kind of lives to perform," grinned Sam.

"Two attention whores on one stage, who also happen to be in love," Rob said. "Let's see if that stage was built to bear the weight of all that ego and passion."

Cristina and Lori laughed with them as they all started to clap along with the performance _[_ _h_ _ear "_ _Dance with you Tonight_ _"_ _on our[playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn)_ :

Sebastian: _ **  
**__Ladies and Gentlemen we've got a special treat for you tonight  
I'm gonna call my man Blaine up here to... to sing to you ladies_

_Blaine! Let's go man_

Blaine, gesturing to the audience: _ **  
**__My name is Blaine nice to meet you can I tell you baby_ _ **  
**__Look around there's a whole lot of pretty ladies_

He turned to dance flirtatiously to Sebastian:  
_But none like you, you shine so bright, yeah_

 _I was wondering if you and me could maybe spend a minute_ _**  
** _ _On the floor up and close getting lost in it_ _**  
** _ _I won't give up without a fight_

Blaine sang the chorus with Sebastian singing backing vocals as they started some synchronized moves that bore resemblance to swing dancing:  
_I just wanna, oh baby  
__I just want you to dance with me tonight  
__So come on, oh baby  
__I just want you to dance with me tonight_

Sebastian sang the next few verses with a sexy smile, dancing closely with Blaine:  
_We're getting sweaty, hot and heavy in the crowd now_ _ **  
**__I loosen up and let your hands go down, down_ _ **  
**__But go with it boy, yeah just close your eyes, yeah_

_I feel the music moving through your body  
And looking at you I can tell you want me  
Don't stop, keep going till the morning light, yeah_

_When I saw you there, sitting all alone in the dark acting like you didn't have a care  
I knew right then, that you'd be mine, and we'd be dancing the whole damn night _

Blaine pulled away teasingly from him to encourage the audience to sing the chorus again as Sebastian launched into infectious dance moves:  
_Oh baby,  
__I just want you to dance with me tonight  
__So come on, ooh oh baby  
__I just want you to dance with me tonight_

_Ooh oh baby,  
I just want you to dance with me tonight_

_Break it down now,_

Blaine and Sebastian sang the next section with playful verve, volleying lines back and forth as Blaine worked the crowd and Sebastian did a series of round-offs across the stage:

Rob, Sam, the crowd and Blaine: _ **  
**__yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

Blaine: _ **  
**__Shake it like that_

Sebastian, at the end of his round-offs at one end of the stage: _ **  
**__yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

Blaine: _ **  
**__Now bring it all back_

The crowd and Blaine as Sebastian traversed back to the other end of the stage: _ **  
**__To dance with me tonight_

Sebastian and Blaine turned to the audience, encouraging a singing war between two sides of the room.

Blaine:  
_One more time, one more time, come on now_

Left side of the crowd:  
_yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

Blaine:  
_Do your thing,_

Right side of the crowd: _ **  
**__yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

Blaine: _ **  
**__Everybody sing_

Sebastian and the crowd: _ **  
**__I just want you to dance with me tonight_

Blaine and Sebastian turned back to each other and stepped together through an abbreviated version of the Warblers' "Stand" choreography.

Blaine:  
_I just wanna, ooooh oh baby  
I just want you to dance with me tonight_

Sebastian:  
_Everybody everybody come on now_

Blaine: _ **  
**__Boy, just close your eyes_ _ **  
**__We can dance all through the night,_ _ **  
**__I just want you to dance with me tonight_

_And everybody sing_

Sebastian pulled Blaine close into a final sequence that definitely qualified as a 'Dirty Dancing' variation of their choreography :

Sebastian: _ **  
**__Boy, just close your eyes_ _ **  
**__We can dance all through the night,_

Blaine: _ **  
**__I just want you to dance with me tonight_

Sebastian: _ **  
**__So come on boy just close your eyes_ _ **  
**__We can dance all through the night_

Blaine: _  
I just want you to dance with me tonight_

The room exploded in applause as Sebastian and Blaine bowed, glowing. Sebastian swept Blaine into a passionate kiss and dipped him, causing wilder cheering, cat calls and a few boos. They jumped off the stage, Blaine blushing and looking pleased and Sebastian looking triumphant as they reached Sam and Rob.

"I got the whole thing on video," Sam said, waving his phone and giving Blaine a side hug. "Two Warbler frontmen on one stage, yes!" He fistbumped Sebastian. "It's a good thing Blaine didn't go back to Dalton, we would have never beat you guys together, even without steroids."

"Ahh yes, Sebastian told me about that," Rob said, looking amused. "You guys take your glee clubs seriously in the Midwest, man."

"No, this insane kid Hunter from Colorado took it way too seriously," Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Anyway, if we had this one on our side," he kissed Blaine's sweaty curls, "steroids would not have even crossed Hunter's twisted, peabrain mind."

Rob chuckled as he gripped Sebastian's hand and patted his shoulder. "Yeah, that was an impressive amount of blinding charisma for one performance."

"Just wait until we actually rehearse for longer than ten minutes," Sebastian winked.

…

In another half hour and three more rounds of drinks everyone was more than a little tipsier as they danced to, chatted about and critiqued others' performances Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, and other pop hits. Suddenly Blaine said seductively to Sebastian, "I owe you more songs!" He climbed out of the booth across Sebastian's lap and came over to the other side of the booth to get Cristina's attention. "Lori said you're a great karaoke singer, right? I need you."

When Blaine and Cristina were up and the music began, a slow smile spread across Sebastian's face. He got out of the booth and headed for the dance floor, followed by Sam, Rob, and Lori. As she passed by the booths with her other girlfriends, Lori motioned for them to follow and they all crowded in front the stage.

 _[Hear FallinLuv2Nite_ _on our[playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn) _ _]_

Blaine:  
_Anybody wanna fall in love tonight?  
Fall in love tonight?  
Whoo! Uh!  
Got to!_

"Blaine singing Prince is like Seb's musical kryptonite, look, he's daydreaming...though it's night so I guess he's nightdreaming," Sam said to Rob with a smile, pointing out Sebastian's mesmerized expression and slack jaw.

[](http://imgur.com/TbYPt4i)  
(source: mcfanderson on youtube)

"Kryptonite, like the song will kill him?" Rob asked with a smile.

Sam laughed, "More like it will kill him if he doesn't get all over Blaine after this song is over. 'Raspberry Beret' pretty much launched them into their first kiss at New Year's." He added with a grin, "Hey, maybe Blaine singing this will work for you and Cristina, too!"

"Cristina and I are not kissing Blaine, even if his falsetto is definitely sounding better than he said it would," Rob said with a smirk.

Cristina: _ **  
**__Don't, don't you wanna_ _  
__Fall in love tonight_ _  
__  
_ Blaine:  
_She said,_

Cristina:  
_Don't, don't you wanna_ _  
__Fall in love tonight_

Blaine made a sweeping gesture towards his friends in the front row and then swept the room with his magnetism:  
_Special night, my favorite crew  
__The moon threatened to dance her out of her shoes  
__In his ear, he was about to hear  
__An offer that he could not refuse_

_She said..._

He turned sideways to swing his hips alluringly, looking at the front row again. Sebastian managed to rip his gaze off Blaine's ass to exchange flirtatious looks with him as he rocked his own pelvis on the dance floor.

_Don't, don't you wanna  
Fall in love tonight  
She said, don't, don't you wanna  
Fall in love tonight _

_[Chorus 2x]_

Blaine tipped the microphone stand over and ripped the microphone out of it, licking his lips and blowing a kiss at Sebastian:  
_Underneath the taffeta  
__There ain't no better hiding place  
__If I see the moon, I'll just laugh at her  
__Wanna wake up to your, your pretty face_

Both:  
_Don't, don't you wanna_  
_Don't you wanna fall in love tonight_

_[Chorus]_

Blaine's hair had gone wildly curly and he was swiveling provocatively as Sebastian cocked an eyebrow, training a heated gaze at him:  
_We can sleep all day tomorrow  
__Dream about this fantasy, fantasy  
__We don't have to backspin, apologize, or borrow  
__Uh, 'bout to go hard, y'all ready for me_

_[Chorus: Both x2]_

Sebastian looked dazed when the song finished. Blaine jumped down, shirt wet through with sweat, mopping his brow and looking like the epitome of sweet sexiness. They headed back to their booth and Blaine took a long drink of ice water before Sebastian started kissing him hungrily, Blaine smiling with pleasure against his lips and melting against him, gripping his arms almost helplessly.

Sam looked at them warily as he stood up and addressed Rob. "We're in a public place so I say we allow it - and it's not like Seb wouldn't deck me if tried to tell them to stop right now anyway. I'm heading to the little boys room, but don't let Cristina distract you from keeping an eye on these two. "Remember, DO NOT leave these two alone in any private spot for more than 4.5 minutes."

Blaine chuckled when he heard Sam. "Rob's quite an influence on him...he's not this bossy at home," he said, kissing Sebastian's jaw again and starting to nip down his neck.

"What? Who?" Sebastian murmured, still in an aroused trance.

"Sam. He was telling Rob to keep an eye on us. But he was only doing what we asked him to do," Blaine said. Sebastian's lips were kissing a hot trail on his neck and onto his collarbone and he found he soon could only pant out words in whispers, "We never did talk…" he let out a little moan as Sebastian palmed him under the table, "about...if we should..." he bit into Sebastian's neck as his cock jerked, "rethink...the whole…" his hips thrust up into Sebastian's hand, "sex...thing...so…" he groaned again, "we never...called Rob...and Sam...off."

Sebastian actually pulled back in surprise, panting and looking at Blaine with his eyebrows raised. "After that number I don't think there's anything more to discuss." His expression turned predatory as he leaned in again to nibble on Blaine's ear, whispering, "Yes yes yes, call off Turner and Hooch…"

Their lips and hands were kissing and brushing and touching and nipping and stroking and grasping with increasing intensity until they were interrupted by the loud clinking of glasses as the waitress set the next round of drinks on their table. Blaine pulled away, blushing. Sebastian threw his arms across the back of the booth and laid his head back with closed eyes.

"Thank you," Blaine said politely, looking flustered.

"Oh don't mind me, boys," Kelly said with an easy-going smile.

Blaine looked embarrassed. "It's okay, we're sorry...we don't normally do this sort of thing."

" You do _this week_ ," Sam said as he appeared behind Kelly. Rob and Cristina climbed out of the booth and Sam sat down with a slightly uncomfortable looking Lori.

Blaine glared at Sam, who shrugged in return. "Come on Blaine, you and Smitten Seb have been at it every minute you get a chance." He grinned at Kelly and Lori, "They haven't seen each other for three months, so they have been the cuddliest little lovebird bunnies you've ever seen."

Sebastian beaned him in the eye with a balled up napkin but couldn't repress a small smirk. "What the hell is a lovebird bunny?"

Realization spread over Kelly's affable face as she looked at Sebastian and Blaine again. "Oh that's right, you guys live in...Washington...and New York? Oh wow, I'm so impressed you guys are dating long distance!"

Sebastian and Blaine looked at each other with hesitant looks. Sam looked dumbfounded.

Kelly cocked her head to one side, hands on her hips, looking away as remembered. "I was in a long distance relationship with someone in college, we met during my study abroad year and were just friends at first. But then he came to visit me a year later and we got together and then we started trying to maintain a romance. But because we had been really good friends for like a year first, it just got so intense so fast and we slept together way too soon so we missed each other so much and it got to be so hard. We just weren't connecting, we fought about the usual things but the stakes were so high and the whole thing just fell apart in less than a year because we just weren't ready for something so serious and it was just so hard to...connect. We were so young and had a lot of growing up to still do, and to do all that with so many miles separating us was just too hard."

Blaine looked stunned.

Sebastian's head dropped forward in defeat.

Kelly didn't seem to notice because she was refilling the water glasses. "Well congratulations, you've made it, just got a couple of months to graduation…" She added with wide eyes, "Oh wait, I hope I didn't just stick my foot in my mouth again - did you both get jobs in the same city?"

"Yes," Sebastian said immediately, just wanting to get rid of her. "We'll be in New York. But could you get me a Glenfiddich scotch neat, the oldest stuff you've got it? And make it a double."

Kelly nodded smilingly and disappeared. There was an incredibly awkward silence at the table and Lori wanted to burrow a hole underground back to her girlfriends.

Rob and Cristina returned. Rob took one look at the table and asked, " Who died?"

Blaine looked up at him solemnly and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Sam didn't know what to say, either. Lori wrinkled her nose at Cristina and shrugged her shoulders.

Sebastian said grimly to Rob, "The question, more accurately, is 'what died?' And the answer would be: my erection." He slid over and stood up out of the booth, disregarding Cristina's shocked face and Rob's questioning one. "I'm going for a walk."

Blaine scrambled out after him, catching his hand before he was halfway across the room. Sebastian clasped his hand and pulled him along but didn't look at him, not even once they were out the door. Blaine fell into step with him, looking sideways at him apprehensively. Sebastian's face looked frustrated and injured, but definitely more frustrated than injured.

Sebastian pulled his hand away to cover his face with his hands and run his fingers through his hair. His pace quickened, making Blaine hurry to keep up with his long strides. He turned down a busy roadway where a few cars were speeding by from time to time.

Blaine finally decided to speak up. "Seb…"

Sebastian cut him off, though not unkindly. "I know, B. I know we shouldn't sleep together because if we let ourselves go there it will just get us even closer and then it'll feel like we're boyfriends and it will be too easy for you to rely on me too much and it will make me feel worse if I screw up doing the boyfriend things I don't know how to do yet."

His voice grew increasingly pressured as he went on. "And then you might decide I would be a terrible boyfriend or you might become really unhappy and then I'll become really unhappy and if we don't live in the same city we might not even know when the other one is starting to become unhappy so then we'd start fighting for stupid reasons and break up before we're even together, and knowing me we'd do it in a really god-awful way...I know I know I know...So we can't sleep together. I know. I know!"

"Yeah, I know too, and it sucks," Blaine said morosely, taking a deep breath.

"It's not fair, is what it is!" Sebastian shouted in exasperation. "It's not fair that after everything you've already done, everything you've done for me, everything you've been for me from the moment I met you and managed to convince you to start having coffee with me...it's not fair that after you stay up all night with the Advil and the washcloths and after you rush back from your day and cool off my sunburn and drag my pissy ass out and serenade me...it's not fair that after all that, now I can't touch you?!

"Seriously, I can't kiss you everywhere to make you smile your sexy-happy smile? I can't push into you and make you groan until I feel every bit of anxiety and worry and doubt exit your body? We can't fuck each other senseless in the best possible way at the end of my shitty day and at the end of what has been an increasingly horrible couple of weeks, hell, MONTHS for both of us?! I can't do something tonight to make me feel like I can take care of you, too?! COME ON!" He kicked at an aluminum bench next to a bus stop before he threw himself down to sit on it, putting his head into his hands as he started to deflate after airing his grievances.

"You make me feel good and you take care of me in lots of other ways," Blaine soothed, sitting down next to him and putting a hand on the back of his neck.

Sebastian shrugged him away, his head lifting up with a look of amazement. "B, you need to not touch me like that." Blaine's eyes looked hurt and Sebastian's expression turned gentle. "It's not that I don't like it, babe...it's just…" He paused, still looking a bit bewildered.

"Okay," he continued, taking a deep breath and actually starting to look a little amused. "I know that no one could perform the way you do without having some awareness of your sex appeal. It's just sometimes I forget that one of the hottest and most adorable things about you, Blaine Devon Anderson, is how you have no fucking clue just exactly how hot you really are. It's also one of the most frustrating things about you because it makes you the biggest unintentional tease I've ever met. Tonight was of course the most flagrant example, because if you thought for a nanosecond performing that Prince song wasn't going to result in our having sex that would require reentry to the atmosphere, you are out of your freaking mind."

"I'm starting to think that you only want me for my body," Blaine joked weakly.

Sebastian grew more serious and turned to take both of Blaine's hands. He tried to sound reassuring but it came out worried. "B, you know that's not true. I want all of you, and I'm yours on any terms. You should know that..."

Blaine knew it was true, yet was still a little bit relieved. "I know, I do, I'm sorry. I was just trying to lighten the mood."

Sebastian pulled away, throwing his head back and staring at the moon, looking for the right words. "It's just... okay, this is going to sound skeevy and maybe pathetic...but...sex is one of the things I do best. Sex is the best way I can think of to take care of you and make you feel...appreciated. Unless you feel appreciated when I score lacrosse goals or tap dance. Because yeah, Kelly the waitress was annoyingly right - there is very little that doesn't suck about being long distance boyfriends or non-boyfriends or whatever the fuck we are. So if having sex now is going to make it worse, then…"

"Then we shouldn't do it," Blaine finished for him, looking sad. He moved closer on the bench and put a gentle hand on Sebastian's well built shoulder. It was a shoulder he felt like he leaned on often, and he hoped he could bring as much comfort in return.

There was a pause before Blaine sighed and looked guilty. "Well so you know, when I got Cristina to go up and sing with me, I absolutely was planning for us to have sex tonight. I wasn't teasing at all, and I'm sorry for doing that. I'm sorry, we should have talked about it before I went and got tipsy and started serenading you with a Prince song."

He grew thoughtful, his beautiful eyes becoming more troubled. "You know, at first, when we were in the pool on Sunday, I wanted to revisit our 'state of the union' because I thought we would talk ourselves into having sex this week. But then after your flu made us cool off a little, if I'm going to be totally honest, I think we started avoiding a serious talk. I think on some level we knew...or at least I knew, that if we stopped to think about it rationally, we'd talk ourselves _out_ of sex."

Sebastian took a deep breath but didn't say a word, his handsome face serious.

Blaine glanced at him uneasily. "I think we just wanted to forget that it was a bad idea. Or at least I know I did, because I've been wanting in your pants since the minute I saw you on that escalator in baggage claim. So I started blocking out anything prudent or sensible."

"Well Ms. Kelly brought it all screaming back to us with one little story, didn't she?" Sebastian said bleakly.

Their phones buzzed. Sebastian texted Rob to meet them with the car at front of the club.

Blaine looked pensive again as he reached for Sebastian's hand, squeezing it as they turned to walk back towards the club. "You know what else that waitress reminded me about? That we're young, Seb. What's our hurry? It wouldn't kill us to slow down. Both of us have a terrible track record when it comes to doing things moderately. We're both overachievers at almost everything we touch. We were both valedictorians. I want to get an offer from the West End my first year out of high school, you want an offer from every single company you interview with - and you wanted a dozen. I needed to speed from zero to the perfect relationship and then to a perfect engagement to the first boyfriend I ever had, instead of just dating him..."

"And I have gone from zero to fucking with probably way too many guys…" Sebastian interjected quietly. "For the...immediate gratification of it." He glanced at Blaine without waiting for them to make eye contact. "Before I bothered to think about whether it was too soon." He began staring at a street light ahead. "I never wanted to stop to think about if I...if I might actually want to do anything else with them," he said in a low voice, looking sideways again at Blaine for reassurance.

Blaine gave him a soothing look and a squeeze of the hand without hesitation, grateful that Sebastian felt comfortable enough to say as much to him. "And then you and I didn't go on a single date before we jumped into bed together. I guess patience or going slow hasn't been a big thing for either of us when it comes to relationships," he said with a rueful smile.

"And what would your wise shrink say about all of this?" Sebastian asked with a wry half smile, moving closer to put his arm around Blaine's waist.

Blaine put his arm around Sebastian's waist as well and said, "She never _tells_ me anything, but she'd ask me questions until I concluded for myself that...I guess... we're too anxious. I'm too anxious to please people and to not be alone...and you're…"

"Too anxious for instant gratification…" Sebastian provided. "And to win?" he added, brow furrowed, looking at the moon again.

He looked austere. "I'd like to think I've grown since then, but I think you said in January that it's better to be conservative with us, because "we" are so important. I think so too, it's better to potentially move too slow and risk being...frustrated..."

"There's an understatement."

"...than to potentially move too fast and mess things up completely."

They heard a car honk. They had reached the front of the club and saw the rental car parked off to the side, with Sam driving and Cristina and Rob in the back.

Blaine got into the backseat and Sebastian climbed in the front seat. Greetings were tentative. "How...was your walk?" Sam asked cautiously as he pulled out onto the road.

"Fine," Blaine and Sebastian said simultaneously, sounding calm and slightly melancholy.

Rob spoke up. "I forged your signature on the tab, Seb."

"Okay," Sebastian acknowledged in a monotone.

"You missed a Maroon 5 soundalike of iffy quality and a decent cover of 'Beautiful,'" said Rob quietly, giving Blaine a small, comforting smile. "But it was getting old."

"Yeah, I was getting tired of the ruckus. What do you guys think of stopping by that little JW Marriott piano bar on the way home?" Sam asked cheerfully. "It would be nice to end the evening on a more chill note, maybe sing some mellow Billy Joel or Norah Jones or something?"

"Or a little jazz piano could be good," suggested Rob. "Like some Nat King Cole or Harry Connick. You don't even have to sing. Plus that way you could have a nightcap, Sam, you deserve it after being designated driver. If you have it there you can walk back, and I can hang there to sober up a bit more so I can drive Cristina home."

If Cristina hadn't been there Sebastian would have given their roommates a hard time for their treacly attempt at cheering them up. Then he caught a glimpse in the rearview mirror of Blaine looking worriedly out the window. His face was slack, lips pressed together slightly, brow slightly furrowed. But it was, once again, the eyes that gave him away: you could read the worry, the anxiety, the sadness.

Sebastian took a deep breath and stared out the front windshield at the moon again. It was time to man up. And some piano actually would do both of them good. "Works for me - let's go," he said with an almost pleasant tone and a note of determination that surprised everyone in the car.

"Great." Rob's eyes in the rearview mirror cautioned Sam not to question. "Onwards, Jeeves."

...

Rob went straight up to the manager to get permission to play and he came back to their table quickly saying, "He's game, he remembers us from last night. Their piano player just left so our timing is perfect."

Sebastian got up immediately and said with purpose, "I'm playing first tonight. Babe, you can stand by me and be my muse, or join me if you want." He held his hand out to him to help him out of the booth. "Come on, now."

Blaine gave him a wan smile and took his hand, holding it until they reached the grand piano. He leaned on it as Sebastian played a few scales to warm up.

Sebastian pushed the microphone away and said in a low voice to Blaine, "Now the only thing to play right now is the blues. We gotta shake it all out, Killer."

Blaine's hazel eyes were shining and his lips formed a small smile. Sebastian stood up and came around the piano to put his arms around him and give him a kiss. It was their first embrace since the waitress's comments. It was fairly brief, sweet and loving without a trace of heat or sexuality to it. It was comforting and it did Blaine a world of good. _We're going to be okay. Why? ' Cause we're Seb and Blaine._

Sebastian sat down again and closed his eyes, remembering his mother playing on the grand piano for him a very long time ago at home. His long fingers landed on the keys with courage and his voice resonated richly to soothe Blaine [ _hear "Baby Grand" on our[playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn)"]_ :

 _Late at night  
_ _When it's dark and cold  
_ _I reach out  
_ _For someone to hold_

 _When I'm blue  
_ _When I'm lonely  
_ _She comes through  
_ _  
She's the only one who can  
_ _My baby grand  
_ _Is all I need_

Blaine had come over halfway through the first verse to sit down next to Sebastian. He sang the second verse into the microphone Sebastian pushed in his direction:

 _In my time  
_ _I've wandered everywhere  
_ _Around this world  
_ _She would always be there  
_ _  
Any day  
_ _Any hour  
_ _All it takes  
_ _Is the power in my hands  
_ _  
This baby grand's  
_ _Been good to me_

Blaine:  
_All right  
_

Sebastian:  
_All right_

Sebastian:  
_I've had friends  
__But they have slipped away_

Blaine:  
_I've had fame  
__But it doesn't stay_

Sebastian:  
_I've made fortunes  
__Spent them fast enough_

Blaine:  
_As for women  
__They don't last with just one man_

Sebastian cocked his head and gave Blaine an encouraging smile:  
_Not this man!_

Blaine smiled back at him:  
_But my baby grand  
__Is gonna' stand by me_

...

They both looked a bit more peaceful after the song was over. Blaine said thoughtfully, "I know a good one we both need to hear tonight."

"Take it away, Killer," Sebastian said as he stood up and walked around to lean on the piano.

Rob, Cristina and Sam were watching from their table across the way. "Maybe they could use some...backup," Sam said with concern. "Do you think we should go sing with them?" he asked Rob, trying to read the look on Blaine's face from afar.

[ ](http://imgur.com/diXtkEw)

Rob studied Sebastian's posture against the piano and shook his head. "Not yet."

Blaine's fingers gently played the opening notes on the keys and he looked up at Sebastian with tender expression before looking down with a small smile, knowing how apropos Sebastian would find the lyrics _[hear "Vienna" on our[playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn)"]_ :

 _Slow down you crazy child  
_ _You're so ambitious for a juvenile  
_ _But then if you're so smart tell me,  
_ _Why are you still so afraid? (mmmmm)_

 _Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?  
_ _You better cool it off before you burn it out  
_ _You got so much to do and only  
_ _So many hours in a day (Ay)_

 _But you know that when the truth is told  
_ _That you can get what you want  
_ _Or you can just get old  
_ _You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through (Oooh)  
_ _When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?_

[ ](http://imgur.com/Q6uUq2x)

_Slow down you're doing fine  
_ _You can't be everything you want to be before your time  
_ _Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)  
_ _Too bad, but it's the life you lead_

 _You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need  
_ _Though you can see when you're wrong  
_ _You know you can't always see when you're right (you're right)  
_ _You got your passion, you got your pride_

 _But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?  
_ _Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true (Oooh)  
_ _When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?_

_..._

As he finished, Blaine looked concerned at the faraway look in Sebastian's eyes. As those who were paying attention in the bar applauded, he said away from the microphone, "Hey… where you'd go? Are you okay?"

Sebastian's eyes returned to him and he gave Blaine a haggard smile. "I'm here, sorry. That was great…and really friggin fitting for us." He sighed. "We should slow down." He saw the worry in Blaine's eyes and added, "It's all good, it's the right thing to do. Sorry if I'm fading. I'm just a little tired."

"I know, it's been a really long day, for you especially." Blaine said compassionately. "Let's go, then."

Sebastian really was spent but he knew he had to dig in again so their night wouldn't end so dismally. His smile was a little forced as he winked at Blaine and said, "No way, Killer. If I'm tired, it's your job to perk me up. I want one more song. We can't end tonight in a mopey mood. Hell, we can't mope anymore, period. What would Nina say?"

"It is what it is," Blaine smiled.

Sebastian nodded, straightening up and stretching his long arms. "And remember what I said in the pool on our first day? We're going to be okay. We're not going to let this ruin our spring break. We still have four days left and we're going to have a goddamn good time. Because contrary to popular...well probably everyone's belief...Sebastian Smythe actually _is_ capable of sexual restraint.

"We're not ready to do the boyfriend thing. Or the sex that goes with that, it's as simple as that. But the world doesn't have to end. You and I can slow this down without it being an unholy tragic disaster. I waited two years be with you, I can wait again for this. And hell, if we get our heads screwed on straight we might even be able get a few thrills out of making out like a couple of teenagers from the 50's."

Blaine smiled at him tenderly, jumping on the bandwagon with all the grace he could marshal. "You're right. And we can still be everything else we've been to each other. We're still going to be having fun, we're still going to be good company to each other, making each other laugh…" His gaze grew warmer and his voice grew quieter. "And we can still hold each other."

Sebastian's eyes grew soft and he gave Blaine a small smile. "You better believe it, Killer."

Blaine continued, "That's a lot more than some people have. We're lucky to have each other at all." After a brief pause his eyes brightened for the first time since they left the karaoke club. "You know," you were really on to something last night, when you were such a gentleman bidding me good night. Remember? I was drunker than I was tonight and just as horny!"

Sebastian burst out in a laugh at the crude description of his dapper lover and Sam and Rob peeked at them, looking relieved.

"I think," Blaine continued with a sweet smile, "We should focus on romance. You don't advertise it, but you love all those romantic old movies as much as I do, and you can't love Paris as much as you do and not be romantic."

Sebastian smiled indulgently at him and rolled his eyes. "I can appreciate romance but I'm not a cheeseball like you."

Blaine ignored him. "We deserve some light, lovely romance. As frothy as a technicolor musical. The romance that is normally in the beginning of a relationship, typically BEFORE you sleep with someone. We put the cart before the horse a bit, because…" His dark lashes fluttered a bit as he stopped to reflect. "Well, by the time we realized our feelings were reciprocated, we'd come to care about each other so much already, and we'd known each other for two years and have always…"

"Wanted to jump each other," Sebastian couldn't resist adding with a smirk.

Blaine chuckled. "I was going to say we've always found each other attractive. Anyway, just because initially we got ahead of ourselves, it doesn't mean we can't go back and have a little fun, light romance. I mean, besides finding you physically attractive when I first met you, I also just found you kind of straight-up adorable. All your winking and flattering and egging me on and teasing me about everything. You were and are, simply the most charming human being I've ever met and I couldn't help but want to spend time with you. Even though I knew I Kurt would hate it, I couldn't ignore you - it was just too much fun texting you and talking with you and being with you and being your friend."

His smile grew wider and his fingers pounced on the keys before he began to sing. Sebastian's green eyes looked on fondly _[hear "A Wink and Smile" on our[playlist on Spotify.com](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn)]_ :

 _I remember the days  
Of just keeping time of hanging around  
In sleepy towns _ _  
F_ _orever  
Back roads, empty for miles_

 _Well, you can't have a dream  
And cut it to fit  
_ _B_ _ut when I saw you  
I knew  
_ _W_ _e'd go together_

[He pointed at Sebastian] _  
Like a wink_

[He pointed to himself]  
_A_ _nd a smile_ _  
_  
Rob, Sam and Cristina had come over to lean on the piano, singing along: _  
__Leave your old Jalopy  
By the railroad track  
We'll get a hip, double dip  
Tip, toppy, two-seat Pontiac_

 _So you can rev her up, don't go slow  
It's only green lights and all rights  
Let's go together  
With a wink and a smile  
_  
Sebastian waltzed Cristina about a bit before handing her off to Rob. He raised his eyebrows when he realized Rob didn't know quite what to do, so he grabbed a shocked Sam to demonstrate a simple box step behind Cristina's back for Rob to emulate. _  
_

_Give me a wink and a smile_

Blaine nearly missed a note, breaking into a wide grin. Sebastian spun Sam out and began to waltz on his own around the piano as Sam collapsed against the piano and collected himself.  
_  
We go together like a wink and a smile  
__Now my heart is music  
Such a simple song  
Sing it again, the notes never end_

Sebastian came over to sit next to Blaine and chime in: _  
This is where I belong_

Sam sat down on Blaine's other side and tousled the black curls as they all finished out the song:  
_Just the sound of your voice  
The light in your eyes  
We're so far away from yesterday  
Together with a wink and a smile  
We go together like a wink and a smile_

…

After Rob went to take Cristina on a romantic drive back to her hotel, Sam said good night and retired to bed.

Sebastian and Blaine stood in front Sebastian's suite door. They wrapped their arms around each other and tried hard not to think about the fact that Sebastian's suite was empty, had a deadbolt and that Rob was likely to be gone for some time.

Sebastian said with a small chuckle, "Killer, just so you know, that was an evening filled with much more excitement and drama than necessary to simply make me forget about a knock to the head, a rental car tow and a sunburn."

Blaine pulled away to look up at him and smile coyly. "Excitement and drama? I don't know what you're talking about. That was simply a lovely, romantic second date. Have you forgotten already?"

He reached up to brush a finger across Sebastian's cheek and trace his jawline, his eyes looking sly. "We went to see an old movie on a picnic blanket in Golden Gate Park. I brought you because they were showing _Holiday_ and I love Cary Grant and Kate Hepburn. You brought me a picnic dinner and I learned that we both love the same sandwich shop in the city and that you like fudgy brownies better than cookies, except Rob's mom's cookies. You told me a little about him and made me laugh with a story or two. We chatted for a long time about other light and easy topics, about how much you like Stanford; what our high schools were like; and about current events (we realized we both love the Daily Show and have similar political leanings); and how much we both like San Francisco.

"But after awhile I told you that I grew up on old movies, especially musicals because my mom used to work on the West End and on Broadway, and you told me about growing up watching them with Nina. I told you a little bit about my dad and about my crazy brother (but not enough to scare you)."

Sebastian smiled at that before Blaine continued, "You told me a bit about your mom and what your dad does for a living, but I sensed some tension about your dad. So I didn't pry, because this is only our second date and I want to keep things light."

Sebastian nodded reasonably and smiled again, looking charmed at Blaine's elaborate fancy. "Good idea - you wouldn't want to make me uncomfortable. For the same reasons I didn't follow up about your brother - it sounds complicated."

"Right," Blaine said with a thoughtful smile and a nod. "I asked you if you know yet what you'd like to be when you grow up and you shared with me your dreams of building your own tech company some day and living on the bay in San Francisco. I told you about my performing dreams and you told me that you performed a lot growing up, and that you still do at Stanford."

Blaine glanced away from Sebastian's soft gaze from time to time to think about where to take his story next. He drew closer and leaned down to lay his cheek against Sebastian's warm, solid chest. He spoke in a sensitive tone as Sebastian pressed his cheek against the curly head, "You talked about how performing has always given you an outlet in a life where you didn't have many, at least in your family. You phrased it a little differently, but I read between the lines."

He pulled his head up to look lovingly into Sebastian's eyes. "I was touched that you're sharing this with me and I admitted that I feel that way about performing. I told you about growing up in Cooper's shadow and how formal my parents are. I also told you the other big reason why I like to perform is the connection with an audience, to impact them through the stories I tell through my performances. And then I immediately worried that I sounded really cheesey saying that."

Sebastian spoke up, looking a tad serious. "That's when I told you boldly - because who knows if you're interested in seeing me again after I hinted that I come from a fucked up family - that I would like to see you perform some time."

"I shyly told you that I'd like that very much," Blaine returned, smiling reassuringly at him. "And by the way," he added with a twinkle in his eye, "The whole time we were talking, I was thinking about how dashing and handsome you are and how you remind me of an old-school movie star."

"And I was thinking the exact same thing about you," Sebastian said fondly, grazing the back of Blaine's neck with the most delicate of touches. "I was thinking you're the most beautiful man I've ever met, that you're simply exquisite. And that I think you may be the kindest and most loving person I've ever met."

Blaine's eyes grew a little wet and he blushed. "And the more you shared with me, the handsomer you seem because you're taking shape in front of me as this increasingly fascinating and extraordinary guy. But all of it feels like it's happening so fast and that makes me a little nervous."

The hazel eyes looked astute. "You see I've grown up since high school and though I'm a little more reserved, I'm also less recklessly impulsive and naive. So even though it was a good kind of nervous, I was kind of glad when the movie started because it gave me a few moments to collect myself in the face of this guy I'm kind of already falling for."

"I started falling for you the first time you opened your mouth to speak to me," Sebastian said lovingly, before he grew thoughtful and said in an aside, "We have to decide how we met in this little tale we're spinning, by the way."

Blaine was gazing at him, starry eyed. Sebastian's hand started rubbing the back of his neck, which brought him back to reality. "Then after the movie, we packed up our picnic basket and went for a walk around Golden Gate Park. There was a full moon and the stars were surprisingly bright for the city."

"It probably rained the night before," Sebastian said, smirking.

Blaine smiled and looked away again to imagine some more. "We strolled for like an hour, out of the park and along streets with Victorian houses, and up and down those crazy hills that have amazing views of the bay and the bridges. We talked and talked, and we even whistled a tune together, sang a little, hummed a little."

Sebastian nodded before he said with a small smile, "My arms were killing me from carrying this heavy basket filled with fine china and crystal, but I didn't care because I didn't want the night to ever end." He added in another aside, "Like that ridiculous sleighride when everything was so cold except you pressed up against me under those blankets."

"I knew you would end up loving it," Blaine beamed at him. "I didn't want it to ever end, either...cuddling with you under the stars..." he added softly, looking sentimental.

Sebastian's other hand was at the small of Blaine's back now, brushing it with his fingertips. "But eventually we circled back to your car and you drove me back to my house (I've bought one in the city). And you walked me up to my front door."

Blaine breathed, "And only a few more seconds go by before we come together for our second kiss."

And so they kissed, and it felt like forever and far too short at the same time. It was all so much: their cologne mingling, the taste of each other and soft, wet feel of their lips and the firm, warm press of their hips and chests together. They felt the rush of blood and the beat of their hearts as their tongues slid together passionately. They drew still closer, arms tightening, the deepening of their kisses making their breathing become panting. It was a different perfection than they had ever felt. This time there was no question that they would get to make love again when the time was right, and this time their hearts felt impossibly more intertwined than they had ever felt before. They made sense more than they have ever made sense before. More than they ever knew they could with another person.

Sebastian broke away first, reining himself in with the steely resolve he hadn't had to use with Blaine since that long ago moment in their hotel room after dancing at the Top of the Mark. "Good night, Killer," he whispered with a kiss to his cheek and a lingering nibble at his earlobe, knowing that if he started kissing his neck he wouldn't stop.

Blaine couldn't speak, he physically couldn't. He was overcome with emotion - well, let's face it, love - and he was dumbfounded that Sebastian was pulling away.

Sebastian found it easier when he stepped away and was no longer touching Blaine. He also couldn't help but stop to admire the sight in front of him, because Blaine had never looked so beautiful: lips red and swollen; cheeks flushed; curls coming apart into wispy tendrils; eyes wide and shining, a dark golden brown and green.

"No," Blaine pleaded. "Not yet."

Sebastian sighed but managed a lopsided grin. " Oh B, you get so horny when I'm sappy with you - it's so adorable and hot. But yes, we have to stop." He turned his back to him to slide his keycard into his suite door and pulled it open slightly. "Because, though I haven't been in a lot of multi-date relationships, I know this much about a second date: if you want a _third_ date, you always have to leave them wanting more." He winked as he slipped through the crack in the door, letting it click shut behind him.

Both lovers leaned up against either side of the door, smiling and running their fingers through their hair.

Sebastian called through the door, "Good night, B."

Blaine answered with a grin, shaking his head, "Good Night, Seb."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Thanks for reading, and for those of you who made comments and reviews from the last chapter. There were seven reviews for that 'Fever' chapter, a high which means it ties for most reviewed chapter with with the smut chapter (13) and the chapter (6) where Blaine spots Seb in a teeny, tiny, towel. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the more naked Blaine and Seb get, the more comments we get! LOL just kidding, your favorite parts were actually all over the map._
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> _So, what do you think of this one? Hope it didn't make you too sad._
> 
> _SPOILER PARAGRAPH: I know quite a few of you are waiting for the "I love you," and I want to set expectations that I truly believe they have a ways to go. They are more insecure about this relationship than they let on. That will become more clear spring quarter. But they won't ever stop loving each other. Just saying it is kind of a big deal for both of them, given their histories. Hope we don't lose readers over this, but I do promise it will happen - it's just not clear how many more chapters we'll have before it happens._
> 
> _Anyway, please keep reviewing, even if it's just a quick 'thumbs up, please more xyz!'" We love hearing from you!_
> 
> _Final note, I'm taking a vacation next week to China (I'll be imagining Future!Seblaine on a trip there someday of course. Seb on a business trip and Blaine tagging along). Anyway, for you it just means I might be slow in responding to reviews and finishing the next chapter. Hopefully this super long one sort of makes up for it!_


	29. Bedknobs and Broomsticks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a breather after the sexual frustration of the last chapter. So enjoy the pure fluff while you can, fluff lovers! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive, I'm alive! I'm so sorry that this chapter has taken so long to get up...hope you still remember what this story is about! Blame it on my vacation to China, a fairly hideous case of jet lag and a decent bit of writer's block/procrastination. Anyway, I was happy to see that many of you, in the meantime, got caught up with our long winded story. Things will speed up after spring break and I'll be very interested in your reactions as we push forward.
> 
> For now, we continue to live and breathe every drop that we can of this precious spring break with our boys. 
> 
> ***On a logistical note, I found that none of you hit up the spotify playlist for good reason - it turns out even public playlists are not searchable. So you can find the soundrack by going to http://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine and clicking on "public playlists."

Blaine opened his eyes, feeling slightly disappointed after a vain effort to go back to sleep. A glance at the clock confirmed it was far too early to get up. Hoping reading would help, he crept out from under the duvet, past Sam's bed and into the living room. He closed the bedroom door stealthily and headed to the coffee table where his Kindle lay. On the way he spotted a hotel stationery envelope marked with a "B" that had been slipped under the door.

Inside the envelope was a hotel keycard and a note written in Sebastian's scrawl that made Blaine smile:

_Come over and wake me up before you go go._

_\- S_

_P.S. I figured if I didn't make the joke, you would...and that is not what I want to hear first thing in the morning_

...

Sebastian felt a draft of air and a dip of the mattress. Solid, gentle arms wrapped around him, a firm chest pressed against his back, and nimble fingers nudged him. "You'd better be Blaine," he croaked, his eyes still closed.

"You expecting your _other_ non-boyfriend, Sunshine?" Blaine whispered affectionately, kissing the back of his neck.

"You are only allowed to call me that if we're alone," came the hoarse response. In spite of the grave command, a serene smile was slowly appearing on Sebastian's face.

"Fair enough," Blaine answered in a hushed tone. "This counts as alone though, because Rob is still asleep. Now turn over, reverse spoon never really works."

Sebastian slowly rolled his broad frame over, enveloping Blaine with his strong arms. The green eyes were only partially open as he leaned to bestow a loving kiss. "So pushy," he chided under his breath, pressing his cheek against Blaine's as he pulled him closer.

Blaine's eyes crinkled up with happiness as he kissed below Sebastian's ear and murmured, "You love it."

"I'll allow it, if you stop talking and go back to sleep with me," Sebastian's voice was still gravelly. His long brown lashes fluttered as his eyes closed completely again.

Blaine snuggled down against Sebastian's chest as he closed his own eyes. "Mmmm, okay."

Sebastian asked sleepily, "Do I hear rain?"

"Just a little spring pitter patter," Blaine replied quietly. "The forecast yesterday said it will still be 80 degrees, but the rain will be on and off early this morning."

"What time is it?"

"Only a little past 7AM. So we have about an hour and half before I have to go. That is, if I can convince the guys to go early without me to claim a quidditch field. But I can only lay around with you for an hour, because I need a ½ hour to shower and get dressed, maybe more - my hair looks like Sigourney Weaver's in Ghostbusters this morning."

"Love your bedhead." Sebastian mumbled, tangling his long fingers through a few glossy black curls.

"I love...your everything," Blaine whispered, his eyes closed. He slipped a foot between Sebastian's sinewy legs and smiled. "I love how long and strong your legs are. I've always had a thing for really tall guys. Now I have my very own."

"I'm feeling like a Ken doll," murmured Sebastian.

Blaine laughed softly. "I'm entitled to objectifying you a bit, since every other sentence out of your mouth since we met has been about my ass."

Sebastian smirked. "Now, now, you know that's not true. I was only _thinking_ those things when we first met at Dalton."

"Whatever," said Blaine. "I get to play with my very own, very tall, very handsome, non-boyfriend doll, and it feels so good." He gave Sebastian's firm, warm chest a rub and let out a little blissful sigh. "I've missed how you smell, is that creepy?"

"No..." Sebastian's fingers moved down to the back of Blaine's neck and massaged it with care before kissing Blaine's fluffy hair.

They lay in contented silence for a minute before Sebastian spoke up again, faintly. "You shouldn't bother showering if you're going to just get sweaty during your game." His fingers rubbed circles on Blaine's upper back. "That way," he said, purely for the pleasure of hearing it aloud, "you can stay longer in bed with me now."

"Good point," Blaine hummed, before leaning up to give him a tender kiss.

Two more minutes passed as they lay in tranquility again, listening to their breathing. Just as Sebastian was about to drift off to sleep again, Blaine spoke up. "I woke up after a really good dream about us, so I was trying to go back to sleep. But I'm glad I couldn't because now I get some time with the real you."

His hand ran delicately up and down Sebastian's arm as he mused, "The dream was funny though, you and I were floating along, cuddling in this strange rowboat back at the lake. The boat was so precious, it looked like Cinderella's coach. I was exclaiming over it and you made fun of it. But then I was starting to worry about the boat, like it might be taking in water or something. Cooper kept waving at us from the shore, telling us we were fine. So I decided that cuddling in the rowboat was really lovely, and you told me to stop worrying and enjoy the moment." He frowned as he continued. "But before we enjoyed it much longer, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep..."

"Like how I can't go back to sleep right now?" Sebastian said calmly, his eyes closed again.

Blaine hit Sebastian playfully in the arm. "I've come all the way over from my room to cuddle with you and you're ungrateful. You're lucky to have me in bed with you at all, Your Royal Drowsiness." He stuck his lip out in a pout. "Fine, I'll sleep." But he had closed his eyes only for a second before they popped open again and he pulled his head back. He bopped the end of Sebastian's nose playfully. "But remember, only sleeping."

"Says the hussy who is finding his way in between my legs after only the second date," Sebastian's eyes opened halfway again as he reached down to pat Blaine's backside.

"Rude! You're the one who invited me into your bed after only the second date." Blaine's hazel eyes sparkled as he coaxed Sebastian gently over on his back so he could snuggle into the nook between his shoulder and his arm.

"Shh...keep your voice down. You'll wake Rob. And stop fussing." Sebastian rolled back on his side, tugging his arm out from under Blaine. "I don't like that position, I can't reach your ass that way."

"Exactly. If you don't stop touching my ass we'll be on a bullet train to trouble, remember?"

"That's while I'm kissing you. I think I'm more than capable of copping a feel here and there during this cuddle festival without it turning into…into..." He rolled onto his back again in defeat, eyes closed again. "Great. See, now you've done it. Now you've made me think about sex with you...and now I can't stop thinking about it. Damn you, Anderson."

Blaine pulled away, biting his lip and starting to laugh silently. "I'm assuming you don't want me to touch you right now."

"No." Sebastian wrapped the duvet more tightly around him and chanted his subsequent words like a mantra, staring up at the ceiling: "Because we can't have sex. We can't have sex because we should slow down before we screw things up. We can't have sex because I still don't know how to do some of the boyfriend stuff and...well, we just can't have sex..." He took a deep breath and turned his head to look at Blaine with a mix of good humor and mild frustration. "Fuck, even talking about NOT having sex with you is making me think about having sex with you. I can't stop thinking about it. Crap, I can't stop thinking about it..."

Blaine's hazel eyes widened and he rolled on his back, too. "Oh god, now you have _me_ thinking about it."

"AND NOW YOU HAVE _ME_ THINKING ABOUT IT," came Rob's annoyed voice.

Blaine jolted and twisted around in surprise, shaking the mattress. "Oh Rob, we're so sorry, we didn't mean to wake you."

"But good job, way to kill my boner," Sebastian laughed as he propped himself up on one elbow to look at the back of his roommate's head.

"Grmph," Rob mumbled unintelligibly. "Stop talking or take it to the living room."

"You're not normally so Grumpy Dwarf in the morning, Robbie. You must have been out late hooking up with Harvard, yes?" Sebastian teased as Blaine tugged him out of bed and into the living room. He turned to Blaine. "Why can't we stay? I like my bed. He said we just have to be silenzio."

Blaine shook his curly head. "We're too awake, and now he's awake. We won't be able to keep our mouths shut and I'd feel really awkward in there now."

Sebastian pouted as he dragged the duvet and cocooned them as they landed on the sofa. They had been settling themselves for a minute when Sebastian thought better of it and stood up again, tossing the duvet aside and pulling at Blaine. "This is way too uncomfortable for so early. Let's go to your room. Even if we wake up Sam, he'll be a way better sport than Robert the Grouch in there."

"Says the guy who nearly took Nick's head off every morning on our roadtrip," chuckled Blaine as he was hauled across the living room. "I just hope Sam isn't snoring. I can never go back to sleep unless I have headphones on when he's snoring…Actually, can I sleep with you in your bed tonight? I bet I'll sleep all the way through the night for sure."

Sebastian turned back to tweak Blaine's nose. "No way, Hussy. You can't sleep all night with me. I can't be held accountable for my actions if I wake up in the middle of the night and have your flawlessness in my bed. I could definitely see myself thinking it's a really hot dream and then goin' to town with you. Rob or no Rob."

He opened the door and muttered again in the hall. "Damn, we have to stop talking about sex. Remember what Kelly-the-Waitress said about sleeping together too soon, and things getting too intense too soon, and the distance breaking them up…"

"Right," Blaine said as he stuck the keycard in his door. He lowered his voice as he held the door open a crack. "And remember Sam is in here. We can't have sex with him here."

"Don't even use the S word." Sebastian was flat up against the wall in the hallway, leaning his head back with his eyes closed.

"The word 'Sam' or the word 'sex'?" laughed Blaine, still holding the door open.

"You know what I'm talking about, Tightpants McTease."

Blaine stifled a giggle. "Sorry," he said, biting his lip to stop smiling as he pulled Sebastian into the still partially lit room. He took a breath and grew more serious, pulling both their hands together. "You're right, we should focus on slowing down. Slowing down. We need to slow down."

Sebastian's expression grew amused. "You sound like _The Little Engine That Couldn't._ "

Blaine laughed. "Who knew Sebastian Smythe would refer to children's books so often?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Teresa was an excellent nanny before she was the housekeeper. She read bedtime stories and I remember them - so sue me." He added darkly, "Tell anyone and I will ruin you."

Blaine didn't know how this big, growling, love of a man could be any more adorable. "We should focus on having a fun, technicolor romantic, fantastic day," he continued. "Evening, that is. I guess I won't see you until after my day at the convention and your manly bonding time with Rob." He let go of one hand and led Sebastian towards the bedroom, chuckling. "I love that you're making him go to a sports bar."

"I need to make sure you guys don't totally ruin him with this week of nerdgasms."

"You WISH you had a hobby you were as passionate about."

"I'm busy enough being passionate about you." Sebastian pushed Blaine against the door of the bedroom and hovered above him with a sexy grin. "I think I will be very busy being passionate _with_ you this morning."

Blaine leaned up off his heels to give him a teasing kiss. "But you are so hard to reach sometimes," he said cheekily. "It makes it difficult to be passionate.."

"You love it...after all, you just said you have a thing for really tall guys..." Sebastian leaned down for a another kiss when the door opened suddenly and they fell into the room, nearly landing on the floor.

"Whoa!" Sam laughed, "Hey! What are you doing?"

"I can tell you what we're NOT doing." Sebastian said sardonically. "Thanks to you, we're _not kissing_ , that is what we are NOT doing." He dove onto the pillows on Blaine's bed.

Blaine laughed and sat down at the foot of the bed to give Sebastian's foot a sympathetic rub. He looked up at Sam. "I couldn't sleep so I went over to hang out with Sebastian...but we woke up Rob with our talking…"

Sam wasn't really listening. He clapped his hands loudly. "I was just coming to look for you! It's time for some Broga to warm up for quidditch! We have to get done early to go down and snag a field."

"Oh, no Broga for me today, Sam." Blaine looked up at his roommate. "I was hoping you and Rob could go early on your own, and I'll meet you down there before the first game starts."

Sam's brow furrowed. "But you two can't be alone for more than 6.5 minutes…"

Blaine replied earnestly, "We promise we'll be as good as gold. After last night, we've definitely strengthened our commitment to keep things light. We really will be fine. I just want to lounge around and have breakfast with him before quidditch." He pouted in appeal. "Please, Sam?"

Sebastian sat up, poking his head out from behind Blaine and thrusting his lower lip out, too. "Please?" he mocked Blaine's higher pitched, plaintive tone.

Sam had to laugh at the two wildly coiffed bedheads above two pairs of Bambi eyes. "Okay, okay. But if you two do the wild thing I'm going to lose all my cred with Rob, so keep it clean. And don't try to lie about it, I bet he'll be able to tell if you two bang each other."

Sebastian nodded with a rueful smile as he fell back on his elbows. "That's right, he will. He's kind of freakishly perceptive that way."

"We won't let you down, Sam. Thanks!" Blaine said happily, reaching a hand backwards to squeeze Sebastian's leg.

Sam's eyes brightened as he started putting socks on. "Seb, you should come and play on our team! You technically are a convention attendee, since we have that other pass from Liam and Scott."

"NO." Sebastian said sternly as he leaned forward to pull Blaine into his lap. "But hey, you two have to explain to me how the hell you guys are going to play a game of quidditch. Assuming all eight billion of you geniuses are not going to actually fly on brooms?"

Blaine reached up and lightly smacked Sebastian's cheek. "Well of course we don't fly, but it sounds super fun anyway. It's a cross between rugby, dodgeball..."

Sam interjected, "And tag...and wrestling..."

Blaine added, "...and actually, lacrosse! You really should come and play, Seb!" He tipped his head backward to look at him.

"No," was the resolute answer again. Sebastian leaned down to kiss the corner of Blaine's mouth. "I will not be part of something that takes the noble game of lacrosse and twists it into some mongrel form for a bunch of Dungeons and Dragons Rejects."

"Noble? You guys spend half the time beating the tar out of each other with your sticks!" Blaine laughed. "But really, I think you'd like it, we did drills yesterday and it was so fun. I mean come on, how can it not be fun, there are three kinds of balls!"

Sam called as he darted into the bathroom, "It's crazy and awesome!"

Sebastian nudged Blaine out of his lap and slid down the headboard to lie next to him. "Damn, you guys know how to make things complicated for yourself." He put his hands behind his head to prop himself up on the pillow. "Though it does makes sense in one way. To accommodate for the players' lack of strength, speed... and agility, they made it a game so complex that nerd acuity is required to just understand the convoluted rules. I mean really, why else would you need three balls?"

Blaine ignored the scorn, his clear hazel eyes shining in anticipation. "The quaffle is a slightly deflated volleyball that Chasers use to score goals in these hoops that are the goals. Rob is a Chaser, he gets 10 points everytime he gets a goal, so obviously he's got a very important job. It's like the position you play in lacrosse, he's on offense. Bludgers are dodgeballs thrown by defensive players called Beaters, and if a Beater gets you, you have to run back to your goal and tap it before you can be in the next play."

"It sounds like a game for six year olds so far. I can't believe the volleyballs have to be deflated, how much wussier can this be?"

Blaine finally gave him a pointed look.

Sebastian rolled over with widened green eyes and hooked a long arm and leg over Blaine. "I'm sure YOU aren't wussy." He added with an contrite look, "Now, what positions do you and Sam play?"

Blaine shook his head in resignation to a lifetime of snarkiness with Sebastian. "Sam's a Keeper, a goalie. He has to defend four goals, so it sounds like a really hard and important position."

"What it sounds like, is that it's a game of whack-a-mole for Sam. Again, a game for six year olds. And you?"

"I," Blaine said proudly, "am a Snitch."

"A Snitch...oh right, that's the gold ball with wings that Harry Potter caught in his mouth in the first movie, right?" Blaine nodded and Sebastian continued, looking puzzled. "How do they do that? Is it like those remote control helicopter toys they have at The Sharper Image? How do you manage catching that if you can't fly?" Sebastian paused to smirk. "Please tell me you sit on someone's shoulders."

"No, I don't catch the Snitch, I AM the Snitch."

"You're...a ball?" Sebastian looked at Blaine like he'd grown another nose.

"Yep!" Blaine grinned widely at him.

Sebastian rolled over on his back, speaking with quiet disbelief as he stared at the ceiling. "So you run around the field pretending to be a flying ball." His lips formed a tight, straight line.

Blaine chuckled. "I appreciate your self-control for my sake right now."

Sebastian spit out, "So...many...slams..."

"I know, the mocking opportunities are endless. I think I will let you exercise restraint. If Rob were here I bet he'd say it's good for you."

"But...you're...a BALL," Sebastian coughed out, biting his lip and gesturing incoherently.

"Well, technically I'm called a Snitch runner, because there actually _is_ a Snitch ball - a tennis ball - that is put in a tube sock and tucked in the back of my shorts, like a flag in flag football. But everyone just calls me The Snitch. I know it sounds crazy but it's hilarious fun!"

Sebastian rolled back on his side with a shake of his head while Blaine barreled on with enthusiasm. "I have to run around a defined area, but it doesn't just include the field! I can run into the spectator crowd, jump on the benches, whatever! I can do pretty much whatever I want to do to avoid being caught! So most of the rules for players don't apply to me. Well, except of course I can't hurt people intentionally. But otherwise they say the Snitch is pretty much like God in the game. I can dance around the referee, do crazy stunts like riding a bike, play tricks on the Seekers...The Seekers are the players that are supposed to catch me. When they finally catch me, they get thirty points and the game is over!"

"The whole herd of you should be locked up in padded cells." Sebastian said languidly, looking mildly entertained. "But what if the Snitch is lame?" He moved closer to kiss Blaine's collarbone quickly. "I mean, I'm sure _you're_ not lame..."

"Nice save." Blaine said, tapping Sebastian's lips with his forefinger.

"...but what if the Snitch is slow or not crafty enough or whatever, or what if the...the guy chasing the Snitch..."

"The Seeker. And it could be a girl, it's co-ed," Blaine reminded him.

"Okay what if this Seeker is particularly good at hunting you down? Then the game could be over in five minutes?"

Blaine warmed at the interest in Sebastian's voice. "There's a time limit called the 'Seeker floor' where the Seeker has to stay only on the edge of the field and can't chase the Snitch."

"And what's keeping you from just sitting in a tree or something all morning even after the time limit is up?"

"Well, you aren't allowed to climb trees or buildings anymore for safety reasons, but there's a different time limit for when I have to return to the field." Blaine looked at him with sparkling eyes. "You know even if you don't want to play, you can come watch the game."

Sebastian shook his head, though he was finding Blaine's excitement adorable. "Are there uniforms?" he leaned over to put his arm around Blaine and pull him close enough to nibble on his ear.

"Just colored mesh things to wear over everyone's t-shirts." Blaine wriggled with ticklishness and turned his head to deliver a quick kiss on Sebastian's mouth. "And for the Snitches they have yellow t-shirts and shorts they said we could borrow."

"Teeny, tiny shorts?" Sebastian's hand snaked down to squeeze Blaine's ass.

"Seb!" Blaine moved the roving hand up.

"I told you, it's fine if I'm not kissing you..."

"It's not fine for me! I told you when you were sick - no groping if I don't get to grope back. And if I start in on _your_...ANYTHING, I'm not going to be able to stop."

Sebastian chuckled. He halted his wandering hand, though his arm tightened around Blaine. "You have the tiniest waist. It's unreal."

" _You're_ unreal..." Blaine lips met Sebastian's again, deepening the kiss with more wet heat as he felt a twitch of his cock.

Sebastian bit lightly on Blaine's lower lip and explored Blaine's eager mouth hungrily. His hand skimmed down Blaine's side before pulling away with a reluctant smile. "Seriously, Anderson - keep it PG…"

"Yeah, keep it PG!" Sam emerged from the bathroom, clean shaven. "You know Seb, when we're playing Rob's team, you could sub in as a Beater and take him down! I bet you're good at dodgeball - you were that evil kid in elementary school that nailed kids like Artie and Kurt, weren't you?"

"I plead the fifth," Sebastian smirked.

Blaine dragged his finger along the stubble on Sebastian's chin. "I think I'd be afraid of letting you be a Beater."

"Well you have nothing to worry about," replied Sebastian, interlacing the fingers of one of his hands with one of Blaine's. "Sorry Sammy, I am not coming within a two mile radius of your Game of Drones. I will be far too occupied enjoying the lap of luxury around here. After my adventure about town yesterday, I am looking forward to staying put and enjoying the best that the Ritz has to offer." His eyes twinkled as his lower lip protruded. "Except the cabana boys, 'cause Blaine won't let me."

Blaine let go of his hand to yank down on Sebastian's ear. "One more cabana boy joke and I'm leaving with Sam and Rob."

"Ow! Okay! You're so touchy!"

Blaine let go with satisfaction. "No, I just demand a little respect, Mr. Smythe. Now, what are you really going to do?" he asked, snuggling against him.

Sebastian ran his fingers through Blaine's dark curls. "I have quite a list to get through over the next couple of days. Lift, swim, and maybe run; get a massage, a shave, a manicure and maybe a haircut; read and maybe make a few Ipod playlists by the pool…"

"Watch the aerobics class by the pool," Sam interjected mischievously as he finished rummaging through his suitcase and headed into the bathroom with a tube of sunblock.

"You're not helping me with Killer here," Sebastian laughed, leaning down to kiss Blaine's cheek before continuing with his leisurely list. "...take a nap, of course; I have to call my mom back; maybe reply to a few emails and texts...every Warbler is coming out of the woodwork to see how our spring break is going…"

"I've gotten some, too." Blaine's said, looking sentimental, as he always did whenever the Warblers were mentioned. "They want to know if we're 'going steady' yet - at least that's how Jeff put it."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Nick wants to know if we are eloping and retiring to The Keys. ANYWAY...let's see, what else...Oh, I need to figure out which game Rob and I should watch this afternoon and where we should go to see it...and, probably not today, but at some point maybe go out and catch a movie."

"Oooh, don't watch the Lego movie without me!" Sam yelled from the bathroom. "With all my deadlines at the end of the quarter I never got out to see it."

"Don't worry," Sebastian called. "I am NOT going to see that."

"We should all go to see it!" Blaine said, "Sam has been making me wait to see it, too. Maury said it was hilarious."

"B, all this Harry Potter business has been enough geekiness to make my skin crawl...don't make me watch a kids movie about plastic bricks, too."

"But it looks to me like it has mass appeal, I don't think it's just for kids - Will Arnett and Will Ferrell are in it."

"No. I was thinking more like that new one with Jake Gyllenhaal."

"Ah, now we get to it. You've never met a Jake Gyllenhaal movie you didn't like."

"You should be flattered. He's just an older, less attractive version of you."

"I've seen his abs, you're not fooling me," Blaine said dryly. "I highly doubt Sam will go see that movie. Go see it on your own and let me see what else is playing for all of us later this week." Blaine pulled his phone off the nightstand and snuggled back into Sebastian's arms to look at film options.

There was a knock at the door as Sam came out of the bathroom. He opened it for a considerably more alert Rob.

"Hello, Loverboy!" Sebastian poked his head up to greet his roommate with a naughty look.

"Yeah, how'd it go last night?" Sam grinned broadly and poked Rob in the ribs.

"Rob doesn't kiss and tell," Sebastian explained with a smirk as he untangled himself from Blaine to get up and head to the bathroom. "But I can always tell what base he got to by the look in his eye," he pinched Rob's cheek as he passed him.

Rob ignored him. "Let's go, guys." When he noticed Blaine's pajamas he asked, "Hey, why aren't you dressed?"

"He's coming later, right before the game," said Sam. "He wants some extra smoochy time with Snuggly Seb."

Sebastian reversed his route to put Sam in a surprise headlock. "Would you like to take that back, Sammy Syphilis? Otherwise that can be _your_ nickname at every bar we hit the rest of this week."

"Oww! Okaay! Dude! I take it back," Sam groaned.

Sebastian released his hold and ducked into the bathroom, looking devilish.

Rob cocked his head towards Sebastian and looked at Blaine with a chuckle. "You sure you want to be left alone with that animal?"

Blaine smiled fondly and nodded before passing his phone to Rob. "Hey, which of these movies are you interested in seeing this week?"

After a choice was made, Sam spoke gravely to Rob while Blaine reviewed emails and texts. "What do you think? Blaine said after hearing that waitress at the karaoke club they vowed to not to have sex, so I thought it would be okay to leave them alone..."

"Well, he didn't say we VOWED…" Sebastian called impudently from the bathroom from behind a washcloth.

"SEB!" Blaine scolded from the bed. "Do you want me to stay, or what?!"

"We can believe them, right?" Sam asked Rob.

Rob nodded, looking sympathetic. "Yeah. They both got spooked good last night. Seb's just messing with you."

Sebastian came out and pounced on the bed, straddling a yelping Blaine, grabbing his phone and tossing it on Sam's bed. He sat up and dramatically stripped off his t-shirt, whirling it around his head before tossing it onto Sam's bed. "Get out, you two. Blaine and I are about to have wild sex," he drawled before diving down to try to catch Blaine, who had already wriggled halfway out from under him.

"Ugh," Sam grunted as he tied his shoes and gave the lovers a wary glance.

"He's all talk," Rob replied, wearing an amused expression as he and Sam headed for the door.

Blaine was now sitting on Sebastian's chest, laughing and beating Sebastian's face with a pillow. "You aren't supposed to use the S word! Put your clothes back on!"

Sebastian was muffled and his long arms were struggling to pull the pillow off and reach around it tickle Blaine. "So I could have said…" _Thump._ 'Blaine and I are…" _Thump._ "…about to get pornographic'?" _Thump._ Blaine pulled his ear again. "Ow! Come on," _Thump._ "This is not…" _Thump._ "…a proportional response!" _Thump._ "Hey Rob," _Thump._ "…back me up here!" _Thump._ "I was only kidding!"

Rob called from the living room as Sam opened the door, "Remember, I don't get in the middle of lovers' quarrels. I'll see you at around 1 o'clock dude, just text me when you're on your way." He waved at them. "We'll see ya on the field, Blaine."

"Rob!" _Thump._ "ROB!" _Thump._

"We're gonna miss you, too, Seb!" Sam hollered over his shoulder before the door closed.

...

"Thanks very much, Connor. Much obliged. No, that's it right now. I'll see you later I'm sure, I'm spending much of the day around here. Okay then, bye." Sebastian hung up the phone as Blaine emerged from brushing his teeth in the bathroom. He announced, "All set. food will be here at 8." He slid under the duvet again, closing his eyes. "So get over here, breakfast in bed at the Ritz is a highly satisfactory experience."

Blaine looked puzzled. "I thought we'd have to go downstairs. When I looked yesterday, the menu said that if we don't use the doorhanger to order, to allow at least 45 minutes."

"I did use the doorhanger." Sebastian said calmly, enjoying Blaine's mystification.

"For eight? You haven't been up before 10 since we got here..."

"I ordered it for 10 but I got the concierge to move it up and have it delivered here," Sebastian said smoothly, eyes still closed.

Blaine jumped on the bed and crawled over to lean down and kiss him. "You are a miracle worker, Sleeping Beauty."

Sebastian's green eyes opened and he raised his eyebrows. "You know I'm not crazy about being called 'Sunshine,' so what makes you think I would like being called a fairytale princess?"

"But none of the fairytale _princes_ slept so gracefully. So I have to call you Sleeping Beauty."

"How about you call me Sebastian. Or Sexy. Or Gorgeous. Or Adonis."

"Or Conceited."

Sebastian pulled Blaine on top of him, too lazy to pull the duvet down. "Or The Guy Who Also Got the Kitchen to Make Your Beloved Blueberry Crepes and White Cheddar Scrambled Eggs, Light on the White Cheddar."

"Oh god, you are wonderful!"

"That could work as a nickname, too. Though Nina would find it blasphemous." Sebastian surprised Blaine by pushing him gently off his chest and getting out of bed. He walked to the suite door and opened it, propping it open a crack with the flip latch.

Blaine leaned on one elbow to enjoy the view of muscular, shirtless Sebastian, drawstring pants hanging dangerously low on his narrow hips, walking back to their bed. He took a deep breath and reined himself in. "What are you doing?"

"Ensuring that when room service comes we don't have to get out of bed. We can just call for them to come in."

"You think of everything." Blaine got under the covers. "Your nickname is officially Mr. So Incredibly Thoughtful."

"I _am_ thoughtful, aren't I?" Sebastian made an ostentatious show of tucking Blaine in and planting a kiss on his nose, but the devoted look on his face was genuine as he watched the beautiful hazel eyes close. "Did I mention that I asked them to handpick the blueberries from a field behind the hotel? And that the butter is freshly churned at the dairy farm down the road?"

Blaine's eyes opened, looking merry. "Nice try."

Sebastian smirked and threw the covers open again to climb in bed. "Damn, you've gotten less gullible since you graduated high school. That's inconvenient. Okay you got me, I just ordered you crepes so you won't eat off my plate again." He nudged Blaine to lift his head so he could tuck his arm around him.

Blaine turned sideways and snuggled up to him, putting his head on Sebastian's shoulder and slowly rubbing the supple skin on his chest with one hand. "Well, whatever motivation you had, the end result is still blueberry crepes in bed for me, so I'm happy." He let out a contented sigh and closed his eyes. "I wish I could bring you and your concierge back to Scotland with me."

Sebastian was silenced with the idea of parting again. His eyes closed as if to block out the prospect. He drew Blaine a little bit closer.

"Sorry," Blaine rushed to say, looking up a Sebastian's neutral expression with concern. He made a tentative attempt to change the subject. "Though I do think someday we could have so much fun touring the world together. Did you ever make it up to Scotland when you were living in Paris?"

"No," Sebastian's eyes were still closed, but his mood was saved by the memory of European travel. "There was so much of London to see, so I never thought of doing more than that. Though my mom took me to Switzerland, Germany, Italy, Greece, and a few other countries, too. That's when I learned that there is never enough time for travel."

Sebastian sounded a bit ambivalent as he continued. "If it was up to my mom, she would have just gotten me a tutor and I would have travelled everywhere with her for work. She said it would be a better education for me to travel and be a student of life and other cultures, rather than study in a classroom." He added with a bitter expression, "I think it would also have made her feel less guilty about leaving me all the time."

He continued after letting out a breath that sounded almost like a sigh. "But you know how old school my dad is about my education. I needed to go to a prestigious school to get into Harvard. And that is the one area where he and Nina were in agreement." His voice grew softer as hazy memories crossed his mind. "Anyway, my mom squeezed in as much travel for me as possible in the summers."

Blaine was touched, as he always was when Sebastian chose to share about his family and former life. He studied the brave set of Sebastian's features and said warmly, "Well, I'm glad you came to Dalton."

Sebastian eyes opened as he leaned over to give him a long, stirring kiss that made Blaine's heart flutter. "Me, too. Too bad you weren't around when I got there, though." he said quietly.

Blaine nodded, even though he knew he didn't have real regrets about McKinley. "You were lucky to live in Paris for as long as you did, though. It's so true, there's never enough time to travel." He spoke slowly, with childhood nostalgia. "I saw London, Rome and Paris when I was really young, so it's all hazy now. I only remember... the bright red English phone booths..." He closed his eyes to recall more. "And...I remember and how beautiful the gilt detail on Big Ben was against a bright blue summer sky. And the ornate coats on the Beefeaters, trimmed and embroidered so gorgeously; and I remember how the cheese looked so different on the pizza in Rome; and I remember seeing lovers kissing on the Spanish Steps and thinking that everyone in Italy seemed to be better looking, as a whole, than any other country; and I remember the quiet crumbling majesty of the Roman ruins. And I remember the Eiffel Tower lit up at night, the epic, graceful curves of it; and I remember the Luxembourg Gardens had so many, many tulips."

He pressed his lips gently against Sebastian's neck before whispering, "I can't wait for you to show me _your_ Paris this summer. And some day I'll bring you out to Edinburgh and the Highlands and St. Andrews."

Sebastian had been fading into sleep on the tide of Blaine's European imagery. "Sounds good. You're going to love the real Paris this summer," he said sleepily. Blaine gave him a delicate kiss and watched the rise and fall of his chest until they drifted into sleep.

...

Sebastian woke to the strum of Blaine's guitar and the sound of light rain outside. His eyes blinked open to the sight of Blaine's smiling face. He was still in his blue pajamas, leaning against the headboard with his guitar in his lap, toes tucked under Sebastian's arm. Sebastian thought he might be dreaming as Blaine's sweet face looked lovingly down on him and began to sing _[Listen to_ _"Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat_ _at_ _<http://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine>__:_

 _Will you count me in?  
_  
_I've been awake for a while now_  
_You've got me feelin' like a child now_  
_'Cause everytime I see your bubbly face_  
_I get the tingles in a silly place_

 _It starts in my toes_ [Blaine wiggled his toes]  
_And I crinkle my nose_  
_Wherever it goes_  
_I always know_  
_That you make me smile_  
_Please stay for a while now_  
_Just take your time_  
_Wherever you go_

 _The rain is falling on my window pane_ _l_ [Blaine pointed at the window.]  
_But we are hiding in a safer place_  
_Under covers staying dry and warm_  
_You give me feelings that I adore_

 _They start in my toes_  
_Make me crinkle my nose_  
_Wherever it goes_  
_I always know_

 _That you make me smile_  
_Please stay for a while_  
_now just take your time_  
_Wherever you go_

 _What am I gonna say:_  
_You make me feel this way_  
_I just mmmmm_

 _And it starts in my toes_  
_Makes me crinkle my nose_  
_Wherever it goes_  
_I always know_  
_That you make me smile_  
_Please stay for a while_  
_Now just take your time_  
_Wherever you go_

 _Dada dumdudum dumdadadadadum_  
_Ohbodododododododum mmm mmm_

Sebastian's eyes had closed again as he let it all sink in - the sound of Blaine's voice, singing those words. Blaine trailed off mid-song to press his lips on Sebastian's cheek and whisper in his ear. "Time for breakfast, Sunshine. I'm glad you got a little micro-nap in, but this stuff is going to get cold if you don't sit up for a bit and have it. Doesn't it smell delicious?"

Sebastian blinked and sat up slowly at the smell of coffee, crepes, waffles, eggs and bacon. Blaine had placed the loaded tray on the bed between them and was now pouring the fragrant brew out of an elegant miniature silver coffee pot. He picked up the small bottle of courvoisier he had retrieved from the suite next door.

Sebastian leaned back on the headboard, rubbing his eyes and watching the curly head bent down, measuring and mixing in concentration. He couldn't help but wonder again, _What did I do to deserve this? Will the other shoe drop?_

Blaine handed over Sebastian's plate and cup before taking a sip of his own coffee.

Sebastian took the plate and put his cup on the bedside table before leaning to press his lips to Blaine's in a loving, leisurely kiss that made them both feel a little discombobulated.

That is, until they heard Blaine's Chewbacca text tone. Sebastian grimaced at the sound and reached over to retrieve the phone from the bedclothes on Sam's bed. He glanced at it before tossing it at Blaine. "It's your other half."

Blaine looked abashed but then grinned as he read the text. "He says that the goals are really cool, there are wings embroidered on the Snitch shirts, the bludgers hurt more than we thought they would, and that the different houses are making up their own cheers already!" His eyes were bright and far away as his mind buzzed, imagining the quidditch field.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and took a bite of his eggs before saying patiently, "I think you should be a cheerleader instead of the Snitch."

Blaine looked up sympathetically. "Sorry, I'll silence this. Not very romantic." He placed the phone on the nightstand and covered Sebastian's face with kisses until he was smiling again.

As they ate their breakfast, they brainstormed a long list of places to travel together in the future and recounted trips in their past. Afterwards Blaine collected the dishes on the tray and set everything outside the suite door while Sebastian shook the sheets of crumbs.

Sebastian climbed back onto the bed, stretching his long legs out in front of him and putting his hands behind his unruly head of hair. "Okay, I got gypped. Don't think just because I was waking up I didn't notice that you didn't finish the Colbie song."

Blaine picked up his guitar. "It was all part of my grand plan to keep you wanting more," he winked. He settled down cross-legged near Sebastian's feet. He started to sing, glancing almost shyly up through the dark lashes from time to time.

 _I've been asleep for a while now_  
_You tuck me in just like a child now_  
_'Cause every time you hold me in your arms_  
_I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth_  
_It starts in my soul_

 _And I lose all control_  
_When you kiss my nose_  
_The feeling shows_  
_'Cause you make me smile,_  
_Baby, just take your time_  
_Now holdin' me tight_

 _Wherever, wherever, wherever you go_  
_Wherever, wherever, wherever you go_  
_Wherever you go_  
_I always know_  
_'Cause you make me smile_  
_Even just for a while_

As Blaine strummed the last note, his phone buzzed, vibrating loudly on the nightstand.

"Ignore it," Sebastian commanded. "Come kiss me, Beautiful." He crooked a finger to beckon Blaine towards him.

Blaine nodded and smiled, setting his guitar down and crawling up the bed to straddle Sebastian's lap. He hummed happily as Sebastian pulled him close and began nibbling on his ear.

Sebastian's eyes were closed as he enjoyed the feel of Blaine's arms around his neck, his fingers stroking through his hair and across his scalp. His own fingertips were gliding their way underneath Blaine's shirt and over his muscled back, careful to stay well above his waist. A leisurely make-out session with Blaine was...different... but delicious in its own way. "You feel so good," he murmured. "It's been awhile since I've really focused on the fine art of making out."

"You feel so good, too," Blaine whispered as he began kissing Sebastian's neck, gripping his strong shoulders and caressing his biceps. He knew if he let himself move onto Sebastian's chest and abs, it could be the point of no return. Just thinking about it drew his mouth upon Sebastian's, his hands and hips remembering to conjure up willpower borne of needing to keep himself north of the equator with Kurt in their younger days.

Somewhat surprisingly, it was actually fairly easy to focus on getting lost in the heat of Sebastian's kisses. They were so different than any others he'd ever had….a swirl of contradictions, just like Sebastian. For periods long and short, and at times all at once, his kisses, his delectable tongue, his lips were both tender and intense, sweet and demanding, loving and carnal. Making out without sex as the end goal brought out a heightened sensory awareness to the experience. Plus it brought more finesse to their kisses and touches. All of it made Blaine buzz.

Buzz like his phone, which rattled again on the nightstand. "TURN IT OFF," growled Sebastian.

Blaine nodded and Sebastian began to kiss his neck while he groped for the phone. He had to pull away to reach it and Sebastian saw a droll expression flash across his face as he pushed the 'off' button and waited for a moment to confirm that it was powering down.

"What did it say?" Sebastian asked in a monotone.

"I don't know, I only happened to see one word," Blaine couldn't repress a small smile as he leaned down to kiss Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian pulled back and sighed. "Just turn it back on and read it. I know you want to. Otherwise you're going to be wondering about it while you're making out with me. But then _turn_ _it_ _off._ I'm not even trying to have sex with you. We're being paragons of virtue. We deserve a snog without interruptions, damn it."

Blaine gave him an abashed look and kissed him one more time before turning the phone on again. While he waited for the homescreen to appear he rewarded Sebastian with a probing, hot kiss and a stroke over his chest, tweaking a nipple.

When the phone sang its startup welcome tone, Sebastian pulled away and leaned back against the headboard, eyes closed. He thought he must really be in love if he was putting up with this.

Blaine took one glance and looked mirthful. "It's just more quidditch nonsense," he said, biting his lip in self-control.

Sebastian studied Blaine for a second as he turned the phone back off and threw it on Sam's bed. He couldn't believe what a complete and total sap he was when it came to Blaine. "Get out of here," he said with a defeated half smile, nudging Blaine off his lap. "We can make out later."

"What?" The hazel eyes widened in surprise.

"Just go," Sebastian replied, shaking his head in defeat. "God forbid I stand between you and a yellow t-shirt with wings sewn on it."

Sebastian thought Blaine looked like a kid who had just been told he'd won a new bike. Even when his libido was being denied, he admitted to himself that he did love putting that look on Blaine's face.

Blaine, being Blaine, made one more attempt to do the right thing. "No, it's okay, I don't have to go for another half hour…"

"B, it's fine." Sebastian stretching his arms out and yawning. "I'm sure I can get my cabana boy to move up our date by a half hour."

Blaine clobbered him with a pillow. "How can you be such a sweetheart one minute and a total jackass the next?!"

"It's a gift."

...

_BLAINE: Hi, are you enjoying yourself? I have an urgent favor to ask. I forgot my wand, could you bring it?_

_SEB:_ _"I forgot my wand"_ _is a_ _phrase I_ _ne_ _ver imagined I'd ever get in a text._ _A flying ball uses a wand? That's a stretch even for you people. I'm pretty sure J.K Rowling would be with me on this if she were here._

 _BLAINE: No, it's for after_ _quidditch_ _._ _R_ _ight afterwards we go into sessions again and I need my wand. I can't be caught without one at sessions._

_SEB: Will they burn you at the stake?_

_BLAINE: Practically. Public ribbing and embarrassment. I'm so sorry, but that goodbye kiss you gave me made me forget everything._

_SEB: Your flattery skills need a little honing, but it was an_ _estimable_ _attempt._ _But you_ _still owe me one, Anderson. I was just about to head into my massage._

_BLAINE: Oh no_

_SEB: I'll live, they have a fairly open book today, I can reschedule_

_BLAINE: Thank you so much. You're such a darling. This is actually a great game for you to get a peek of_ _. W_ _e're playing Rob's team for the championship - so you'll see him, too!_

_SEB: Ok, I'm off to the front desk to get a key. Text me the address._

_BLAINE: Ok, thanks again - you are the best! Bye!  
_

_..._

Sebastian parked the car. It was actually a pleasant day now that the rain had stopped. In addition, the large public park that was being used was well kept and landscaped. Truth be told, getting away after spending most of the morning at the hotel wasn't so bad. He looked bemused as he walked by the game pitches that had been marked on the fields, busy with largely unathletic looking players running around...with brooms? Sebastian stopped to stare and laugh out loud. Yes, brooms were being held between their legs as they passed and kicked various balls. Blaine hadn't mentioned the brooms. Santana was never going to believe this.

When he reached the right field, he found both teams gathered around one of the players who was sitting on the grass. Blaine was at the very outside of the circle and Sebastian poked him with the wand.

"Oh, hey!" Blaine stood on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss. "Thank you so much!"

Sebastian was peering over the heads towards the obviously injured player. "What happened there?"

"Poor Martin sprained his ankle, I think. I don't know what they're going to do. He's the Gryffindor team's Seeker!"

"The one who chases you?"

"Yes. I guess they'll have to ask one of the Chasers or the Beaters to be the Seeker. It's too bad they don't have any subs…"

"Why not? This is the championship, right?"

"All the other teams finish a round robin of sorts, so there are no spare players." Blaine had been looking at Martin but he suddenly turned back to Sebastian with his eyes lit up like gold in the sunshine. "Waaaait…"

Sebastian knew that look. His fight or flight response kicked in once again and he stepped backwards. "Oh no no no no no…I'm out of here. I have a massage booked. With candles. And lavender. By a hot Asian masseuse."

Blaine's eyes widened. "But, Seb it would be so fun...you would be an amazing Seeker! You could reschedule your massage!"

"NO," Sebastian shook his head. "I'm leaving." He gave Blaine a quick kiss on the cheek, avoiding his eyes. "GOODBYE."

The group around Martin was breaking up as the injured player hobbled off the field. Sam spotted Sebastian. "Hey, Seb!"

"Hi Sam, bye Sam..." Sebastian called as he started hurrying away.

Sam jogged to catch up with him, his strong arm grabbing Sebastian's shoulder and turning him around. "Hey, what's your hurry? What are you doing here? Stay and come watch us get killed by Rob's team!"

Blaine came up from behind, pouncing on opportunity. "Sam! Don't you think Sebastian would be a perfect Seeker to replace Martin?"

Sam's eyes bulged. "OF COURSE! Nils!" he hollered, waving for a tall, athletic, black teammate to come over.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows at how hot Nils was, but turned and gave Sam an emphatic look. "NO."

"Nils, this is my friend Sebastian Smythe. Seb, this is Nils Trevor, our team captain."

"Nice to meet you. Sorry for my rudeness, but I have to be going." Sebastian shook hands and turned to go again. Sam gave Blaine an urgent look and started speaking to Nils off to the side while Blaine grabbed Sebastian's wrist tightly to plead, "Just let us make our case to you before you decide?" Sebastian took a deep breath and looked tolerantly at him before crossing his arms and turning back to Sam.

Sam was saying to Nils, "He was captain of his lacrosse team at his private school. And he was captain of his glee club and led them in some insane dance stuff. They could do back flips with him by the time he was done with them. So he's pretty spry for a tall dude."

Nils looked wary before he spoke up in a British accent. "Well, maybe...I guess he could go in as a Beater? Then Kevin could go in as a Chaser and then Jenny could be the Seeker."

Rob walked up to the group.

"Hey, what are you doin' here?" Rob greeted Sebastian.

Sebastian answered under his breath, "I just brought Blaine something he forgot but I'm _headed back to the hotel_." He twisted out of Blaine's grip with a significant arch of his eyebrow.

Blaine stuck out his lower lip. Sebastian started to turn away but Sam grabbed his arm and said urgently, "Rob, don't you think that Seb could be the perfect sub for Martin?"

Nils looked at Sam kindly before turning to Sebastian politely. "No offense man, but if you've never played quidditch before I don't think you want to go in as the Seeker. But we could really use another Beater, which is also a very important position...do you know what that is?"

Rob spoke in his pragmatic way. "Actually Nils, Sam's right - if you get Sebastian to play…" He looked doubtfully from the hopeful expression on Blaine's face to the restless expression on Sebastian's, "…you'd want him to be your Seeker. I'd want him to be mine if Shing got injured."

Nils arched an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Sebastian's my roommate at Stanford. The kid's got serious skills on a field - I think he was the high scorer in at least half his lacrosse games last season. They won the division championship, too. Plus, when he wants to be, he's the most devious son of a bitch I've ever met."

Sebastian smirked, watching Rob play it cool within what was clearly some kind of Harry Potter nerd elite. He sighed internally as he realized that joining this circus would help Rob gain credibility in this cult. _Being nice_ _really can suck_ _._

"I gave Sebastian the basic rules this morning and he was a very quick study," Blaine said to Nils.

Sebastian looked at him with his eyes narrowed. "Hey, what are you doing? Don't make it sound like I've already agreed to this."

Blaine pretended not to hear him, instead watching intently as Nils and Rob commenced a side conversation. Sam appealed to Sebastian again. "Dude, you gotta help us out. If we have to play down one man we're going to lose to Rob's team and that would NOT be good. I'm trying to impress this girl Candace today! Come on, I know you like to win championships. You've come just in time for the final game! The most important game of the whole tournament!"

Sebastian was not immune to Sam's boy-next-door appeal but he was still feeling ambivalent as he thought back to the spa at the Ritz. His face was unreadable until he felt a hand on his ass. He jerked slightly and found Blaine giving him a squeeze as he flirted with him in a dulcet tone, "And remember if you're the Seeker, your job is to chase me around!"

Sebastian swatted him away and swept his arms around Blaine from behind. "You're a regular Mata Hari," he laughed, reaching down to squeeze his lover's perfect ass in the very fetching, very tiny, yellow shorts.

Sam interrupted. "Seb, you know you really would be the biggest deal player on the team if you play Seeker. The Seeker has to be the sharpest, fastest, most aggressive player. They have to play by the rules of the game and still capture the sneaky Snitch who has almost no rules at all to follow!"

Sam's speech again seemed to only have minor effect, so Blaine turned around and put his arms around Sebastian's waist, the hazel eyes looking up at him seductively through those lashes. "Come on, Seb. It's only like 45 minutes of your life, and we would all be _so_ grateful. _I_ …" he slipped a hand under Sebastian's shirt and glided his fingertips just under his waistband, "would be SO grateful."

Sebastian studied the eyes and lashes and closed his eyes to Blaine's touch before chuckling and wriggling away. "You are shameless - does your mother know you act this way? Where the hell did my bashful school boy go?"

Blaine laughed at himself and finally brought out the big guns. He caught up both Sebastian's hands and held them up to his heart as his big eyes gazed up beseechingly. "It just really would mean a lot to everyone, Seb. If you don't play, the big championship game isn't going to mean much. PLEASE?"

Sam tapped Rob's shoulder and gestured at Blaine. "THERE they are...the puppy dog eyes. It's a done deal!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine."

Blaine jumped on him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Sebastian wrapped his arms tightly around him and murmured in his ear, "But Killer, you owe me a world class make-out session tonight."

Rob gave Sam an impressed look. "You weren't kidding... That is _fascinating_. Maybe Blaine _is_ part wizard. Oh man, it's killing me that I am not going to be able to give him a hard time about being whipped."

"Why won't you give him a hard time?"

"Because it's good for Prince Sebastian to be whipped a little, especially by Blaine. If I gave him crap about it he might fight Blaine about these few little things Blaine asks for, and maybe they'd break up and I don't want to live with THAT for the rest of the year."

Sam nodded before jumping over to give Sebastian an ecstatic hug. "Yes! Sebastian Smythe is our seeker!"

As he pulled away, Sebastian was murmuring half to Sam and half to himself, "I can't believe I agreed to this. When am I going to learn to say no when he…"

Sam laughed. "Never. No one will ever be immune, man."

Nils still looked like he still had reservations, but he extended a hand. "Okay then, welcome to Gryffindor IV, Mr. Smythe. We have a tough game ahead of us. Ravenclaw III may be the defending champions, but we have the spirit of Harry, Ron and Hermione on our side!"

Sebastian tried to look respectful for this three friends' sake, biting his lip to keep from bursting into laughter.

"Here's your broom."

Sebastian was surprised into a forced, polite smile as he once again silently questioned the mental stability of the entire convention. "Oh, yeah...Ahh, no thanks. I won't be needing that to catch Blaine. I mean, The Snitch."

Nils looked at Blaine. "Hey, I thought you said this guy knew the rules?" He turned back to Sebastian. "All players must keep a broom between their legs at all times."

Sebastian coughed to disguise a chortle and he murmured to Blaine, "Again, so...many...jokes."

Blaine wrinkled his nose. "I guess I must have forgotten to explain that part to him. That's not going to happen, Nils."

"Blaine, we're going to be lucky if the refs let him play at all. They aren't going to let a seeker play without a broom - it would be unfair advantage against you. It's already likely to be a short game…" Nils gestured up and down at Sebastian's stature. He's like half a foot taller than you and it looks like it's almost all in his legs. Plus everyone will be whispering as it is…are you not even worried about what the other Snitches will say when they find out this new Seeker on your _roommate's_ team is your _boyfriend_?"

"He's not his boyfriend," Sam and Rob said automatically while Blaine and Seb looked at each other. After a beat Blaine chuckled and Sebastian smirked.

"Whatever. It's a deal breaker. I'd rather play a man down than be the laughingstock of the tournament. No broom, indeed." Nils turned away in disgust.

Blaine turned to Sebastian. "I don't suppose..."

The green eyes were piercing. "Absolutely not. I draw the line here, Killer. You can promise all the sexual favors I could dream of, bring me Hunter Clarington's head on a plate, and bore into my soul with your puppy dog eyes...I cannot, will not, absolutely will never, ever run around a field with a broom between my legs. I'll see you back at the hotel." He kissed Blaine swiftly, avoiding the sad eyes and turning to go.

"Okay, then." Rob said in his mellow way. "I guess that's that."

"Wait a minute!" Sam had been chewing on his thumbnail, but it suddenly came out of his mouth and he grabbed Sebastian's arm. "What if Seb is the _Snitch_ and _Blaine_ is the Seeker?!"

Rob's eyes lit up. "Sam, you're a genius!"

Sam's face glowed, Blaine looked emotional and Sebastian made a mental note to explain to Rob later. Nils was called back to the group.

Blaine spun around to Sebastian, looking thrilled. "You'd do that, right? The Snitch doesn't use a broom because you're a ball!"

Sebastian thought he looked incredibly cute, even if it was for ludicrous reasons.

Blaine was beaming. "You'd be so good at it, you're so hilarious and sly!" He waggled his eyebrows. "And I know you like it when I go after you…"

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and gave him a severe look.

Rob noted with a grin, "So Seb doesn't kiss and tell, either."

Nils looked more onboard than before. As a former team captain himself, Sebastian understood. Nils would not have to take responsibility for him, an unknown entity, if Sebastian played The Snitch. "The Snitch job would be perfect for you, if Rob's pinning you right. You have to be evasive, swift, agile, and arrogant. You're allowed to use whatever means necessary to avoid being caught: tackling Seekers, stealing brooms, taking capes, riding bicycles…almost anything goes. Your job is to make the game an entertaining spectacle. You're pretty much a god out on the field."

Blaine added, "The only real rules are that you have to stay within the marked boundaries, which is just within the park; you can't be dangerous (remember, no climbing on trees or buildings); you can't mess with the goals or balls or favor either team. I know you, you're going to want to score, but you can't."

Sebastian looked between Sam and Blaine's hopeful, expectant faces and the patient look on Rob's face that always made him feel guilty. "Ugh. Fine, let me call to move my massage."

Blaine pecked him on the cheek and clapped his hands. "Awesome! Thank you! Ooh, I can't wait to catch you..." He looked impish and went running to hail the referee and Snitch on the next field.

Sebastian watched him run off. "But I'm not wearing those shorts."

"Those are the girls' shorts," Sam explained.

Nils began to explain more of the rules to Sebastian but was interrupted by three blasts of a whistle and yells coming from various corners of the large park. Yellow-clad Snitches from various fields came together into one big cluster that began running at full speed towards them. Blaine was trailing them, looking worried. Sam started hooting with laughter.

"VIRGIN SNITCH! VIRGIN SNITCH! VIRGIN SNITCH! VIRGIN SNITCH!" the cluster chanted.

Before Sebastian knew what was happening, about a dozen yellow-clad guys and girls had descended and hoisted him struggling and shouting onto their shoulders as they carried him towards the neighboring high school's locker rooms.

Sam was bent over double now. And try as he might, Rob couldn't repress a grin at the sight of his very strong, very baffled, very mad friend being hauled away by the very fanboys he had been mocking for months.

"SAM! ROBBBBBBBBBBBBB!" Sebastian yelled, still struggling and making himself a very unwieldy prisoner to carry away.

Rob started after him, his pace slowed by his laughter and amazement at how quickly the Snitches could move with his big roommate on their shoulders.

Sam had fallen down in the grass, still busting a gut. Blaine came panting up to him and tried to yank him to his feet. "Come on, we have to go help him! What are they doing?!"

Nils laughed, "They're just getting him dressed. You missed your hazing because you got here so late this morning."

Blaine's eyes widened. "Sam, come on!" Not bothering to wait, he started running to catch up with Rob and the Snitches, gesturing wildly at Sam to follow.

Sam was wiping his eyes and sitting up finally. Nils advised, "If you don't want your buddy to quit before the game even starts, you should go help Rob and Blaine. Those Snitches are crazy, I've heard they've _showered_ a Virgin Snitch before getting him dressed."

Sam's eyes widened and he bolted for the locker room.

...

It was halftime and Sebastian was pitching quaffles at the goals for Sam to practice defending. "You've got a longer reach than that, Trout! You act like your elbows don't extend, come on! I can see why you weren't a running back for McKinley!"

Another quaffle whizzed towards the goal, followed quickly by another at a different goal.

"If you've got four to defend, you'd better to hustle more than that, Sammy! No pausing to look at the pretty girls or how distractingly hot I look in this tight shirt! My grandmother could have gotten that one in her highest heels!"

"Shut up so I can concentrate!" Sam yelled.

"It's not like everyone's going to press their own mute button when they try to score!"

Rob and Blaine were sipping from their water bottles on the sidelines, watching their roommates.

"I love seeing Sebastian relax finally," Blaine said to Rob.

Rob replied mildly, "Yeah, it looks like he's having fun today. What a difference from his Murphy's Law day yesterday, and the flu before that."

Blaine looked contemplative. "That's definitely true, but I was thinking more about how hard he works at school, between classes and recruiting. Even his extracurriculars... that lacrosse coach is so tough, it sounds like more work than play to me, most days. And being choreographer for a group like Mixed Company is no small job."

Rob glanced at Blaine's troubled face, choosing not to speak so Blaine could air his concerns.

Blaine continued, not taking his eyes off Sebastian. "I worry about him sometimes. I know his dad puts a lot of pressure on him, but I think most of the pressure is what he puts on himself. Do you think he's pushing himself too hard? Is that level of stress typical of people at Stanford? Seb makes it sound like all of your friends are cruising along and he's the only one struggling - I know that can't be true."

Rob nodded and his mouth quirked in a sympathetically. "No, I wouldn't say they're cruising, but Seb's more ambitious than most, so maybe it looks like cruising from his perspective." He paused to consider the quarter. "The rest of our Roble crowd works hard enough to get through midterms, but doesn't really stress until finals. That's when they all realize they should been more intense like Seb all quarter. Then they freak out more than Seb does. But it's more behind closed doors. I think no one wants Sebastian to know how stressed they are. He's the cool guy everyone wants to impress. So I guess that could make him feel alone. And even if he hears about some of their stress later, he doesn't seem to think he's in the same boat as the rest of them. Probably because he knows their load is lighter than his."

"I'm glad he has you to relate to, at least."

"Yeah, he knows how hard I work, between classes, the band, and my job. But don't worry about him too much, Blaine – he's not so alone at Stanford. He works hard, but he plays hard, too. He gets out with Roger, Charlie, the lacrosse guys, lots of people."

"But is he just out drinking and dancing? Do you get a sense that he is developing deeper friendships with anyone else besides with you?"

Rob thought about it for a moment. "Sure, he's getting to know other people, too. He and our friend Jay are always getting coffee. Plus they've found some spot in the bowels of the library they like studying in. Those two were like joined at the hip from midterms until Sebastian started unraveling close to finals."

Blaine bristled at that but tried not to show it.

Rob didn't notice as he looked out on the field at Sam and Sebastian. "He usually would get coffee with Karen after MC rehearsals, too. And I think with all that lacrosse travel, he and Thomas have gotten closer, in their own weird way. In between insults I think they are discovering they have a lot in common." Rob gave Blaine a teasing look. "Everyone wanted me to come check you out."

Blaine blushed lightly. "Well, I couldn't wait to meet you and thank you for being so wonderful to him," he said with gratitude. "Santana said good things about you and she's not an easy one to please, especially when it comes to her boy."

Rob mused, "Those two are hilarious together. It's hard to imagine either of them back in an Ohio suburb, let alone Santana in a cheerleading outfit and Seb in a prep school uniform."

Blaine smiled, imagining Rob's perspective. "I think Seb only survived Ohio because Dalton is tough academically - so it kept him busy." His grandmother told me when he lived in Paris the school was too easy for him, so he got bored and got into trouble. Plus at Dalton he was Captain of the Lacrosse team and The Warblers. Lacrosse is big deal at Dalton, kind of like football or basketball is at most public schools, and the coach kept them busy.

"And The Warblers…" Blaine looked wistful. "I know this is hard to imagine, especially for people who went to public schools…but The Warblers were like rock stars at Dalton. And outside of bringing status, they are also a brotherhood. There is a really tight bond that doesn't go away even after you leave. I was only there two years and it still feels like a birthright to me. And even though Seb and I were never in the Warblers together, it was always something that made me feel connected to him."

Rob observed the starry look on Blaine's face with understanding. "Band can be the same way. Seb and Karen have gotten pretty into about Mixed Company, too. Maybe it's something about making music together." He added with a smile, "He'd never admit to it, but I think Seb loves having most of the older MC girls around. When I tagged along to MC parties, I noticed they dote on him and he likes to tease them. But he really only hangs out one-on-one with Karen, she's like his pet or little sister almost. Their coffees have gotten longer and longer as the year's gone on."

Blaine's brow furrowed as he watched Sebastian shoot a goal. "I just wonder how much of those conversations are Seb _listening_ to Karen, Thomas or whoever. He's such a good listener...which is nice for them, but I just worry that...well, even with me it took awhile for him to share much about himself."

Rob nodded. "Me, too. But I doubt so many of our friends would hang out with him so much one-on-one if he was too closemouthed." He glanced at Blaine reassuringly. "He knows they're there when he's ready. He's got to go at his own pace."

"I guess so." Blaine's mouth quirked to one side and he tried to take a cue from tranquil Rob. "I'm glad lacrosse and MC have given him friendships." He looked sideways at his new friend with love. "And I'm grateful to you...something tells me that you are the reason why Sebastian became friends with most of those Roble folks in the first place."

Rob chuckled and looked thoughtful. "Yes and no. I guess I was the more approachable one, but Seb has that air of confidence and...mystery that makes people want to be friends with him. So when we first moved in, people would ask me to do stuff and encourage me to bring him along. We were a two-for-one."

Blaine understood. "He was the same in high school. He was even more prickly back then, but the guys all scrambled to make friends with him anyway because he was so charismatic and bold, and because he worked hard and achieved so much. Of course he didn't make it easy for them to get close, but those of us who did have found it has been worth it."

Blaine looked pensive. "Sebastian has helped me relax a lot, to not be so hard on myself, and to not expect perfection in myself or others." He waved sweetly at Sebastian, who had turned to check in on him and wink. "It's funny, some people would say he's self-centered but he's actually a really thoughtful person. He's just selective about who he lets close to him and is very discreet in his acts of kindness. He's always doing random stuff for Santana and including little things for Sam in care packages for me."

Rob nodded. "He can be a good egg. When Jay's decrepit laptop died Seb magically found a "spare" in his closet that was "broken" - it had a tiny crack on the side but I think Seb bought it new and cracked it himself. And he's always picking stuff up for me when he's out. Or if he's invited to something and I'm not (which happens a fair amount now that people are more comfortable approaching him), he still makes sure we are invited as a two-for-one."

He added in his matter of fact tone, "I've never really had a friend who was one of the popular guys. I knew I didn't really need one, I was really tight with my childhood friends and the band. But it wasn't always easy on the ego, being the scholarship kid who didn't have the flashy cars and clothes at that fancy prep school I was at. But at Stanford I roll with Seb, who kind of effortlessly draws people to us at parties where I'm usually fine being the band geek watching on the sidelines. He's teased me into stretching and getting out of my comfort zone at those things and I'm having a lot more fun because of it."

Blaine's eyes shined at him. "Well I know he is getting so much out of your friendship, too. I'm sure you don't feel like he tells you much, but from what he's told me about your conversations, believe me, compared to other people, he really trusts you with a lot. And seeing the two of you together now has shown me all the ways you are good for him without having to talk at all. You have such a soothing effect on him, and I can see how he appreciates that and a lot of other things about you. He's different with you than he is with his other friends, even Santana. I can tell he loves you, even though I'm sure he doesn't say it."

Rob returned the compliment. "Well at school, he's always…better, more…serene after he talks to you. Every single time. I don't know what you said to him right before Dead Week, but whatever it was got him to step away from the edge. And I've never seen him as happy as he's been here with you this week. I barely recognize him."

Blaine glowed and said lovingly, "Well, when he's happy, I'm happy."

...

"Look at him. He's so happy. I want to throttle him."

"Blaine! You were the one who was begging him to play!" Sam laughed as the teams began to gather near the starting line while the referee conferred with the convention photographer and videographer.

"At least the seeker floor is only thirty seconds during overtime," Rob grinned.

Shing, the other Seeker, sighed. "Thank god."

"And he has to stay on the pitch during overtime, no chasing into the park storage shed this time," laughed Nils. "He really got you guys."

"I wasn't surprised the back end of that shed opened up - I was hoping he would trip on some equipment in there. But I _really_ should have known he would pull a stunt like climbing on the roof," muttered Blaine.

"He did find a way around the rule about not climbing on _buildings,_ didn't he?" said Rob, shaking his head in amusement.

"The snitches keep the rulebook writers busy revising every year," Nils remarked with a smile.

"You looked so baffled!" Sam snorted at Blaine. "You and Shing were like, "'Where'd he go?! What the hell?!' And we could all see him dancing around on your heads!"

Nils started laughing, too. "I've never seen two Seekers collude so much. You two don't even care who gets the 30 points…"

Sam snickered, "I think the alliance began when Seb stole their shoes."

Rob's blue eyes were merry. "No, I think they were still independent entities until Sebastian started _juggling_ their shoes in front of the crowd. That's when the joint venture deal was finalized."

Nils questioned, "How the heck did he get your shoes, anyway?"

Shing pointed. "He was pretending to panic as he led us on a chase up the rock climbing wall in the kids play structure over there,"

Blaine added with annoyance, "Then like an insane person he leaped off the top of the wall, into the sandbox, and then climbed up under us." He groaned. "He was tugging at my shorts and threatening to pants me!"

"We were kicking his hands away and before we could figure out what he was doing. We ended up kicking the shoes half off for him," Shing concluded, shaking her head with good humor.

Rob smiled as he stretched a calf muscle. "The ref says I've scored more in this game than anyone has in the whole tournament. But leave it to Seb to steal my thunder with all his showboating."

Blaine looked determined. "Karma's gonna get him again, though. That Snitch is going to get caught before either of your teams can score in overtime, you can bet your broomsticks on it!"

They heard the unmistakable opening bars to "Rock 'n Roll Part 2" playing over a portable loudspeaker _[Listen to "Rock and Roll Part 2" by Gary Glitter at<http://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine>]_.

"Where did that come from?" Nils asked.

Rob said with a humorous look, "Well I know Seb's got that on his phone for when he goes running."

They turned their heads towards the stands and saw Sebastian egging the crowd on to the cheers in the song and doing a few back flips and handsprings.

"Freaking attention whore," Blaine groused.

Sam coughed loudly into his fist, "You too!"

Blaine glared at him.

The ref blew a whistle and the teams lined up, laying brooms on the grass and closing their eyes. Sebastian stood on the sidelines, arms crossed, chuckling and shaking his head in disbelief. _I can't believe they h_ _ave to_ _close their eyes before starting. And I'm still not over the brooms._

"BROOMS UP!" The ref shouted. Players grabbed their Brooms and scattered the field, bludgers flying and quaffles whistling by as they were passed between Chasers.

Sebastian came over to dance behind Blaine, his breath hot on his neck. "You like these long legs wrapped around you in bed but it's not so fun trying to keep up with them on the field? Still have a thing for tall guys?!"

"I don't still have a thing for you."

Sebastian's hips pistoned to the beat of the song. "I don't believe that, babe. I think you are getting turned on by the thrill of the chase. Let me check to see _how_ turned on you are..." His hand was halfway to the front of Blaine's shorts before it was slapped away.

"You are mistaken. You are without a doubt the most aggravating snitch in the history of this game, and that's saying a lot because Sherry hit a Seeker with a water balloon this morning."

"You're the one who was wheedling me to play this silly game. But now you can't push, grab, hold, charge, or tackle me - it's against the rules. It must be killing you!"

Blaine's hazel eyes looked dark with determination. "We are going to get you!"

Sebastian winked at him. "I love it when you get competitive - very sexy."

When the thirty second seeker floor was up the Ref blew a whistle and shouted, "THE SNITCH IS LOOSE!" Sebastian gave Blaine a swift kiss on the cheek before he was off like a shot. He dove straight into clusters of game activity on the field with Shing and Blaine hot on his heels.

Next he led them on a chase around the perimeter of the pitch, changing direction enough times to keep both of his Seekers skidding in their attempts to cut him off.

He slowed down as they approached Rob, who was trying to stay near a teammate who was carrying a quaffle. Blaine saw Sebastian's eyes dart as he slowed near Rob. All it would take would be a few seconds, Sebastian only had to hesitate for a few seconds in making a decision on his next move. That would be all Blaine needed to grab that Snitch ball.

Blaine's eyes lit up as Rob caught a ball and Sebastian paused, his eyes darting again. Blaine lurched for the snitch with a look of triumph but Sebastian stepped out of the way in front of Rob. Blaine had to lunge forward further, but he could still extend just far enough. He stretched his reach but Sebastian took that moment to suddenly drop to the ground and Blaine found himself grasping at air just as a bludger dodgeball intended for Rob came at him. The ball hit Blaine square in the cheekbone, throwing his balance off so he tumbled the ground.

Sebastian was off again, snaking past Shing, his laughter floating behind like smoke.

Rob's eyes widened. Blaine's face flushed with frustration as he got up and started in hot pursuit, holding his reddened cheek in one hand and his broomstick in the other, hollering, "SEBASTIAN!"

Shing was nearby, mouth agape. Her eyes narrowed, and off to her left, Sam's eyebrows raised.

Rob encouraged her to run along with him towards the goal, just long enough for him to give a few quick words of advice. "Take advantage of his arrogance, and be strategic, look for any chance to leverage what you have in a situation against him and get him by surprise. For instance, you two being so much shorter than him can actually be an advantage." And with that he caught the quaffle and ran to score, turning around again to focus on the next ball in play.

Shing beckoned Blaine away so they could huddle together. Sebastian ran over to Sam with a soft smile. "We're running out of time. Maybe I should slow it down so he can be the hero."

Sam surprised him by shaking his head. "I wouldn't bring down your guard at all, man. You've pissed off little Shing. She's the nicest person I've met at this convention but she's apparently got a black belt in taekwondo. If you slow down you might get hurt. She doesn't look like she cares about the rules anymore!"

Sebastian saw Shing emerge from a cluster of players, indeed looking fiery as she headed towards him at top speed. He patted Sam's shoulder and took off, sidestepping like a soccer player and running backwards at moments. He managed to stay out of her reach as she pursued him down field towards Blaine. He shouted out with bravado, "You two little Seekers can't trap me! I have wings, don't I?!"

He was indeed able to slip away from between them. The two seekers chased him nextmalongside the main players, who were moving back down the field towards Sam and the goals he defended. Suddenly Sebastian heard Blaine yelp behind him in real pain. He turned his head back in concern and saw Blaine getting up off the grass and walking off the field.

Sebastian called, "You okay, B?"

"Oh, don't worry about me, I'm fine." Blaine yelled back. "You've gotten Shing mad and she's going to take you down. I can go get a lemonade and watch!"

Sebastian's eyes were sympathetic but he kept up with the other players to stay out of Shing's reach. He led her in a dance around the circle of players throwing and passing balls, going one way and then another around the circle. When the mass of bodies got closer to Sam there was movement amongst several players who were making an almost shoulder to shoulder formation to serve as a first line of defense against the goals. Sebastian found himself being backed up against them.

"I've got you now, Snarky Snitch!" yelled Shing.

Sebastian smirked. "As if I've never maneuvered around a wall of defenders!" he called back as he made a sharp left around the last player in the line. And that's when he ran straight into Blaine stiff arming him at just the right angle to take him to the ground.

Shing grabbed the snitch from his waistband and held it aloft as the crowd cheered wildly.

Sebastian suddenly found himself under Blaine, Shing and a dog pile of other players hooting and hollering.

Blaine's sweaty face was grinning at him as he yelled over the din. "Turns out I DO still have a thing for tall guys! They're so easy to hide behind!"

...

[x](http://songbastian.tumblr.com/post/47204647802/the-decoration-was-beautiful-ill-give-em-that)

Blaine and Sebastian entered the Wizards' Ball and looked around at the gauzy, sparkling decorations. "Oh this is beautiful, they did a great job with all this!" Blaine exclaimed.

"It looks more like fairies, rather than wizards, did the decor." In spite of his words, Sebastian looked indulgently at Blaine as the music began. "At least they had the sense to rent a decent sound system. Come on, let's dance." He pulled Blaine towards the dance floor.

Blaine squeezed his hand. "Thanks for coming to this."

"Thanks for not wearing a costume to this," Sebastian replied as a Hagrid walked by with a Troll. "Who is that with the...troll?"

"Hagrid. Half-giant, half-human. He was in the Sorcerer's Stone, you should know that!"

"Of course. How could I forget?" Sebastian said sarcastically. He pulled Blaine into his arms. "I'm going to close my eyes and imagine we are at a normal dance club or party."

Blaine closed his eyes too and lay his head on Sebastian's shoulder. "Close your eyes and imagine it's our third date."

Sebastian's expression softened and he pressed his cheek on Blaine's hair. "Take your baby by the hand," he sang along softly as he swung Blaine around in his arms _[hear "Dance Hall Days" by Wang Chung at<http://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine>]_ :

 _And make him do a high handstand._  
_And take your baby by the heel_  
_A_ _nd do the next thing that you feel._  
_We were so in phase_  
_I_ _n our dance hall days_  
_We were cool on craze._  
_When I_  
_You and everyone we knew_  
_Could believe do and share in what was true._ _  
_ _Oh_ _I said: Dance hall days,_ _Love._

 _Take your baby by the hair_  
A _nd pull him close and there there there_  
_And take your baby by the ears_  
_A_ _nd play upon him darkest fears._  
_We were so in phase in our dance hall days_ _  
_ _We were cool on craze. . . ._

 _When I_  
_You and everyone we knew_  
_Could believe do and share in what was true._  
Oh _I said: Dance hall days,_ _Love._  
_Dance hall days_ _  
_ _Dance hall days,_ _Love._

Sebastian trailed off his singing to murmur in Blaine's ear. "You look flawless tonight."

“You're like a dream.” Blaine returned, smiling fondly. He added sentimentally, “I wish we had gone to a school dance together...even just as friends. It would have been fun.”

"You were too scared of me back then." _And I didn't want you to ask you and get turned down,_ Sebastian thought _._ "And you were even more scared of Hummel's wrath - you knew he would have busted open like a pinata full of glitter and never gotten back together with you."

Blaine squirmed internally at that.

Sebastian wasn't enjoying the flashback, either. He added too casually, "You wouldn't have had time to pay attention to me, with Tina starring in an episode of SVU that night and all. And going stag wasn't so bad. I quite enjoyed pissing off Dalton's rugby captain by flirting with his tart of a girlfriend."

Blaine was relieved to have a way out. "No flirting with anyone but me tonight," he said softly.

Sebastian breathed in the scent of Blaine and let himself relax. "And you need him and he needs you," he sang along again, whirling Blaine around:

 _We were so in phase_  
In our dance hall days  
_We were cool on craze._  
_When I_  
_You and everyone we knew_  
_Could believe do and share in what was true._ _  
_ _Oh_ _I said: Dance hall days,_ _Love._

As the song continued, Sebastian spoke quietly again in Blaine's ear. "For the record, I wanted to kiss you the last time we were dancing like this...at the Top of the Mark."

"Why didn't you?" Blaine asked, looking half amused and half puzzled. "I mean it wouldn't have changed much between us because back then I _really_ would not have been ready to have a boyfriend...but at least I would have known how you felt." He chuckled, "I wondered all fall quarter if I should have worn tighter pants - I couldn't believe the lothario Sebastian Smythe had me in the Castro and he didn't make a pass at me."

Sebastian looked almost grim. "Pants were tight enough. But like you said, you weren't ready. Hell, I wasn't ready."

They danced quietly for a few minutes, remembering a night that seemed like years ago.

Finally Sebastian said thoughtfully, "I do remember thinking something that night that is appropos for our situation now."

"What?"

The song changed before Sebastian began his answer. _[Hear "True" by Spandau Ballet _at<http://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine>]_ "I remember thinking that Blaine without sex is still infinitely better than no Blaine at all. I remember just being satisfied that I had you to myself for once - no Sam, Nick, Hummel or any other hangers on...it was just you and me and music and dancing."_

Blaine kissed his cheek lovingly. "Just like now…it's just us and I love it, too. And I definitely think that Sebastian Smythe without sex is better than no Sebastian Smythe at all."

Sebastian gave him a small smile but his eyes betrayed him - his heart was stirred and he didn't know what to do or say. As usual, Blaine rescued him, with a glance of reassurance that he didn't need to do or say anything at all. He sang softly along to the music in Sebastian's ear: " _So true, funny how it seems_..."

  
_Always in time, but never in line for dreams._  
_Head over heels when toe to toe._  
_This is the sound of my soul,_ _  
_ _This is the sound_

 _I bought a ticket to the world,_  
_But now I've come back again_ _  
_ _Why do I find it hard to write the next line?_

 _Oh I want the truth to be said_  
_Huh huh huh hu-uh huh_ _  
_ _I know this much is true_

 _Huh huh huh hu-uh huh_ _  
_ _I know this much is true._

 _With a thrill in my head and a pill on my tongue_ _  
_ _Dissolve the nerves that have just begun_

 _Listening to Marvin (all night long)_  
_This is the sound of my soul,_ _  
_ _This is the sound..._

 _Always slipping from my hands,_  
_Sands a time of it's own_ _  
_ _Take your seaside arms and write the next line_

 _Oh I want the truth to be known_  
_Huh huh huh hu-uh huh_ _  
_ _I know this much is true_

The song changed again and Sebastian said dryly, "Of course they're playing this."

_[Listen to "That Old Black Magic" by Kevin Spacey on our Spotify playlist at<http://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine>]_

"If not here, then where?" Blaine smiled as he led them into a fox trot. _  
_

"Hey, I'm not used to not leading!" Sebastian complained.

"Too bad," Blaine retorted, looking irresistible.

"The things you get me to do," chuckled Sebastian as he made another misstep. His eyes met Blaine's as they started to sing along:

 _That old black magic_  
_That old black magic has me in its spell_ _  
_ _That old black magic that you weave so well_

 _Those icy fingers up and down my spine_  
_That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine_  
The same old tingle that I feel inside  
_And then that elevator starts its ride_  
  
_And down and down I go_  
_Around and around I go_ _  
_ _Like a leaf that's_ _thrown_ _in the tide_

 _I should stay away, but what can I do?_  
_I hear your name and I'm aflame_  
_Aflame with such a burning desire_ _  
_ _That only your kiss kis_ _s kiss_ _can put out the fire_

 _You're the lover I have waited for_  
_You're the mate that fate had me created for_ _  
_ _And every time your lips meet mine_

 _Darling, down and down I go_ _  
_ _Around and around I go_

 _In a spin_  
_I'm loving th_ _at_ _spin I'm in_ _  
_ _Under that old black magic called love_

During the interlude Sebastian warned, "Don't even think about trying to dip me. I get that you're probably strong enough to support me, but there are laws of physics involved with my center of gravity and yours. Plus, we would look ridiculous. So I will always be the one to do that."

Blaine loved the idea of "always" when it came to himself and Sebastian. "Ok, Engineering Boy. Now shush and keep singing with me." They beamed at each other and continued:

 _I should stay away, but what can I do?_  
_I hear your name and I'm aflame_  
_Aflame with such a burning desire_  
_That only your kiss kiss kiss can put out the fire_

 _You're the lover I have waited for_  
_You're the mate that fate had me created for_ _  
_ _And every time your lips meet mine_

 _Darling, down and down I go_ _  
_ _Around and around I go_

 _In a spin_  
_I'm loving that spin I'm in_  
_Under that old black magic called love_ _  
_

_._ _.._

Just as he was about to fall asleep, Blaine felt a draft of air and a dip of the mattress. Strong arms surrounded him and he felt a nibble on his ear.

"Boo," came the whisper.

Blaine spoke sweetly, his eyes still closed. "You'd better be Seb."

Sebastian's eyes twinkled as he kissed the soft cheek. "Nope, just a sleepy ghost haunting your dreams."

"Get out, ghost," said Blaine, his eyes opening partially. He turned around to slip his arm around Sebastian's waist and give him a affectionate kiss. "There's only room for Sebastian Smythe in my bed."

"You better believe it," Sebastian's eyes closed as his hand skimmed Blaine's back. They lay quietly together for a moment, legs tangling and breathing growing steady.

Sebastian was starting to float off when Blaine leaned up to rub their noses together. "I'm glad you came over," he whispered.

Sebastian eyes stayed closed. "I was lying in bed and couldn't shake the feeling that I wouldn't sleep well unless I got a proper goodnight. So I came to see if you were sobered up enough to tell me my third date bedtime story. And I gotta say that the goodnight kiss was a little sloppy. So I also came for a do-over."

Blaine blushed and laid his head sleepily on Sebastian's chest, closing his eyes again. "I guess I got a little carried away with those Hogwarts winecoolers."

"At least you're a cute drunk," came the drowsy reply. "And it's not like I'm so much better, all those jack and cokes have me very sleepy. But let's give it a go and see if we can do better the second time around." Sebastian tipped his lover's face up to kiss him deeply, slowly and surely. Blaine responded with enough emotion to wrap them both up until they were breathless from it. Sebastian smiled and his fingers drifted at the small of Blaine's back. "There. Now _that's_ a goodnight kiss."

Blaine's head collapsed down, this time into the nape of Sebastian's neck, smelling the last traces of cologne and the scent that was just distinctly _Sebastian_. He slid further down onto his chest again and listened to Sebastian's heart beat. It was a good, strong heart and it was comforting. He finally spoke up. "We did good, Seb."

Sebastian pulled away to look at him and give him a sleepy, satisfied smile. "Yeah we did, Killer. We didn't have sex all day and we survived. It was even what I would call a good day. So is the lesson here that make-believe field sports and glittery recycled prom decorations are key to light and easy romance?"

Blaine chuckled. "I think the lesson is..." He paused as his expression turned astute. "I think the lesson is that in the end, happiness is less about what you do, than who you're with."

Sebastian looked touched, in spite of the heaviness of his eyes. At a loss for words for the second time that night, he leaned over and gave the curly head a drowsy kiss before finally whispering, "Wisdom for the ages. Sometimes I feel like you are my tutor for Relationship Stuff 101. You should TA at Stanford."

"You are an exemplary student. But really you were my partner today, not my student. We had a wonderful time together, just having fun. Doing things that made us just as happy as sex..."

" _Just_ as happy? _"_ Sebastian mumbled, his eyes closing. "Let's not get carried away, Killer."

Blaine rambled sleepily, "Okay, almost as happy... a different kind of happy. I mean you can't really compare..."

"I get it," Sebastian murmured, his eyes still closed. "Shhh..."

"You were the one asking what the lesson was...but okay you're right, it's sleepytime," Blaine whispered, his own eyes half closed now. "Oh, but wait," he added sleepily. "Your bedtime story. Let's see, the third date..." He smiled softly, his thick lashes fluttering. "Oh, you know what the urban legend is about the third date?"

"Mmhm?" mumbled Sebastian faintly, stirring slightly in his light slumber.

"That's the date where you can sleep together."

But Sebastian was already too far gone to answer. So Blaine snuggled down and closed his eyes, too - and they slept together, just as they might have, on a third date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a chapter that I procrastinated A LOT about because I am not a Harry Potter fan (I like them in concept but they aren't my genre) and I have never written an athletic game play-by-play. But writing the full court press (to use another sports analogy) on Seb to play was really fun, as was the pillow talk and other fluff in the morning and at the Potter ball. Hope you guys enjoyed it as well - I tried not to be a tease in this chapter, did I succeed? Please review or at least say hi! I've missed PMing with you guys (I still owe a few responses!) What were your favorite parts? Here's to the next chapter being done sooner, thanks for your patience! Lots of love to Cristina, Dori, Thomas and Rose for reading and helping me plot and hammer out and clarify things!


	30. No Jizz, The Creek, The Goddamned Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Rob awake to a surprise. Seblaine take a romantic stroll in the Florida heat. Sebastian stops to reflect and gets an unwelcome reminder. Things get frustrating and Blaine tries to keep Jealous!Blaine from making a comeback. He also gets some big news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Hello everyone, here's a new chapter finally! I think we are only a little shy of how long it took for us to get the qudditch chapter out - so sorry. The good news is that the chapter after this one is already in the hands of the Beta Readers so it should be up in two weeks or less. But the Betas are not really the hold up. I think I need more reviews, ore motivation, something, because I don't know why I'm so slow getting going with these chapters now. Maybe they are getting harder to write as I get out of pure fluff territory. Help! I need a Sebastian Smythe pep talk from the locker room._    
>    
>  _ANYWAY, I forgot to mention something in my last author's note. Just in case you were wondering, quidditch for humans/muggles IS a real thing. Just google "International Quidditch Association." Most of the biggest name universities in the U.S. have/had actual clubs playing it against other teams at other schools. Seriously, truth is stranger than fiction._  
>     
>  _Anyway, this chapter is actually mostly feel-good times for you fluff lovers, with some plot development towards the end. I won't spoil it, just read. Thanks for staying with us and hope you like it. Please let us know what you want more of, less of, etc. and we'll see if we can comply! Big gratitude to the awesome IGMYT betas: Dori, Cristina, Rose, Thomas, Teresa!_

Sebastian woke with a vague awareness of a slight pounding in his head. His throat was dry and he hazily realized he hadn't had enough water while out drinking Potter Ball jack and cokes the night before. He had been too busy playing wingman for Sam and too busy being reminded that Blaine didn't believe in dance breaks when he was loaded on wine coolers.

He weighed his thirst against his desire not to get out of bed, eventually just drifting off…until he heard Sam shift in the next bed and start snoring loudly. Sebastian knew he was sleepy enough to go back to sleep in spite of the noise (a skill developed back when his feuding parents thought his door was more soundproofed than it was), but he wondered dimly if Blaine would wake up.

As if cued by his thoughts, he felt slight movements of the mattress. He kept his eyes closed as his chin was tickled by tousled curls and his arm was drawn over a warm body clothed in familiar soft cotton. Sebastian held his breath, praying Blaine would go back to sleep.

He thought he might be in luck for a minute, until he felt a wiggling warm nose and a tender mouth placing small kisses on his neck. Sebastian sighed internally before it dawned on him that he might as well have a little fun with the situation. The effort he would have to make to summon the energy would be worth it…

Without warning, he suddenly rolled over and pounced, straddling Blaine and hovering over him with a smirk and a wicked look in his green eyes. "Good morning, Babe."

"Arghh! Oh my god you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Blaine hissed, making Sebastian's laugh ring out for a second before it was muffled with a pillow.

Sebastian yanked it away and goosed Blaine as he began peppering his face and neck with kisses, whispering loudly, "Serves you right for waking me up, Killer!"

"Shh! Stop it!" Blaine was smiling even as he squirmed and scolded.

"What? Can't I at least play with you in bed this way?!"

"Yes, but we can't wake Sam!" Blaine ducked his head under the duvet to muffle his own laughter.

Sebastian dove under the covers after him, quaking the bed as he ruffled Blaine's hair and pulled him close in the darkness for a quick and dirty kiss. "There's no way he's waking up - he's wheezing like a pig from one of Rob's stories now."

"But you bouncing on the bed could still wake him!"

"Are you calling me fat?!"

"Geez you're such a girl sometimes!"

"Oh you're asking for it, Anderson!" Sebastian started tickling him.

They wrestled and tickled violently under the duvet. Blaine was pinned when he finally gave up, gasping. "Stop it! I'm too tired to fight with you! I take it back! We're going to wake Sam!"

Sebastian finally stopped tickling and gave him a triumphant kiss while throwing the covers off of their heads. He started to kiss more gently and teasingly as Blaine's hands glided up and down his back. After a moment he raised his head and murmured, "Am I crushing you?"

Blaine smiled wearily against him and whispered, "No, it feels good. I love the weight of your body on me. It makes me feel…" He searched fruitlessly for the right word.

"Covered?" Sebastian smiled as he lowered his upper body again and kissed tenderly behind Blaine's ear. His voice grew lower, sexier. "Yeah, I've got you covered."

Sam let out a particularly loud snort before starting to snore again, making them both chuckle. Blaine he ran his fingers through Sebastian's soft hair as he said tiredly, "We really need to sleep in your room tomorrow night. You know I normally need my eight hours and I don't think I've gotten that much any night since we got here, between Sam's snoring and all of us staying out too late." He palmed Sebastian's ass with one hand and added, "I'm tempted to stay in bed with you this morning instead of going to sessions."

Sebastian was kissing Blaine's collarbone. He mumbled, "That's my vote, but you know Sammy's going to have a hissy fit if you do. Damn, he was so whiny last night about it."

"Oh yeah, he _is_ pretty excited about the wand dueling session this morning." Blaine smiled softly. "It does sound like it's going to be great. And I'm probably not going to be able to go back to sleep anyway, even if I stay in bed until noon. My body clock is so hard-wired it's annoying sometimes." Now both of his hands started to roam Sebastian's ass and lower back. "But maybe I'll wear myself out with the dueling, and then when I come to spend my afternoon with you I'll be tired enough to join you for one of your famous vacation naps."

Sebastian rolled off Blaine to prop himself up on an elbow and slip his hand under Blaine's shirt. "We'd better do more than just nap..." He ran teasing fingers across Blaine's abs and chest, paying special attention to his nipples. "You promised me an exceptionally hot makeout session yesterday in return for playing court jester in Rugby for the Socially Impaired. But you were so bombed that I did not get more than a bit of snogging and grinding on the dance floor." He leaned down to place torturously slow kisses on Blaine's forehead, the tip _of_ his nose, his cheek, and finally his lips. Sebastian's tongue snaked into the wet heat of Blaine's eager mouth and their kisses grew deeper and deeper, their tongues mingling with increasing interest.

Sebastian rolled them over and whispered, "That's a good start in paying your debts. But you must also pay a late fee and a day's compounded interest in the form of upper body nudity." He tugged a smiling Blaine's t-shirt off, tossing it off the edge of the bed.

Blaine's eyes closed as Sebastian's lips teased the skin below his ear and the long, deft fingers glided down, stopping at the small of his back to rub slow circles and tease at the top of his ass. He gripped Sebastian's muscular arm and the back of his neck, capturing his mouth in sweet, hot kiss that made both of them light headed.

The kisses grew more urgent before Blaine sat up to straddle Sebastian, pulling him half way up so he could tug his shirt off, too. They collapsed back down, moaning softly at the long overdue contact of broad expanses of skin. Blaine had the presence of mind to pull the covers over their heads, only partially quieting the sounds of their growing arousal.

Kissing and touching and grinding never felt so well-deserved. The gratification was palpable. Every inch of skin seemed to ache beautifully with hard-earned intimacy.

 _THUMP._ Blaine felt something firm, padded and somewhat heavy land on his back.

"YOU GUYS, STOP! EWWW!"

Sebastian and Blaine's faces were covered in surprise as they threw the covers off their heads in time to see the back of Sam's head as he ran out of the room.

Blaine rolled off of Sebastian as he called after his roommate in puzzlement. "Sam! What…."

The door to the suite slammed.

Sebastian sat up and looked at Blaine, narrowing his eyes as he processed the situation. They drew the same conclusion at the same time, Blaine's eyes widening as Sebastian's crinkled up while he fell backwards onto the bed again, laughing loudly.

Blaine put his face in his hands. "Oh no, he must have thought that we…"

"Ah ha ha!" Sebastian was speechless with laughter.

"Oh, poor Sam!" Blaine scrambled out of bed.

Sebastian was looking on the ground next to the bed. "B, look…" He summoned Blaine back with a gesture of his hand. "Don't bother chasing after him, he'll be back eventually – he threw his backpack at us. He'll be back to get it for Dweeb Day 4. Now come back and kiss me some more."

"I have to go find him, he's totally freaking out!" Blaine said worriedly as he turned back to look frantically around the bed. "Shoot, where is my shirt?!"

"I really doubt you'll need it, I bet he just went next door and it's not like both of them haven't seen you shirtless…"

"What if he ran down to the lobby?" Blaine's voice was muffled as he looked under the bed. "Sam doesn't think very logically when he panics."

Sebastian smirked, leaning on one elbow. "Then treat the lobby to your half-naked perfection."

"Will you just help me find it?!"

They heard a pounding on the door and could hear Sam's muffled shouts, "LET US IN! THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!"

"Ah, then the poor lobby will have to be denied," Sebastian chuckled.

Blaine glared at him as he pulled the shirt out from under Sam's bed. Sebastian bit his lip to keep from laughing as he watched him struggle to turn it right side out as he hurried to open the door. Sam stomped into the room with a tired and annoyed looking Rob behind him. Sebastian, still lounging bare-chested and halfway under the duvet, waved mischievously at them through the open bedroom door.

Sam addressed Blaine first. "Oh who are you kidding, you're trying to put your clothes on now?! You can't fool us. You might as well get back in bed with the other _naked...sex_ _a_ _holic!_ " he choked out the moniker with revulsion as he pointed at Sebastian through the doorway.

"I believe the term is 'nymphomaniac,' Sammy," Sebastian chuckled.

"SEB!" Blaine was the picture of exasperation.

Rob looked at his roommate darkly as he walked into the bedroom. He spoke with calm resignation. "For God's sake Seb, I didn't think I'd have to literally chain you to your bed."

Blaine opened his mouth to say something but Sam cut him off as he turned to reprimand Sebastian. "Seb, I can't believe you slept with him after being so bummed out the other night about what that waitress said!" He turned back to Blaine, pointing an accusing finger, "And Blaine, you promised me you would never sex him up with me sleeping in the next bed! EWWWWWW!"

Blaine had his hands in the air as if Sam's finger was a gun. "No, I swear! We didn't have sex! Nothing happened but a little kissing! He just came over for a second good night kiss last night, and we fell asleep. We just _slept_. And then this morning we made out a little, that's all!"

"A very little," Sebastian added dryly before he had to smirk again at the befuddlement on Sam's face and the annoyed look on Rob's. He knew Rob didn't like falling down on the job - any job.

Sam narrowed his eyes at the accused parties.

Rob was squinting at Sebastian and then Blaine, before he finally spoke up in his matter of fact way. "You know what Sam, I believe them. I don't think they had sex." He yawned as he stretched and gestured at their roommates. "Blaine would look more guilty and Seb would look unbelievably smug. Look at him closely. That's Seb's 'you are hilarious' face, not his 'I just got away with something awesome' face."

"He's not wrong," Sebastian said, giving his roommate an impressed look for reading him so easily. He chuckled and continued lazily, "And Sammy, look around the room a bit, check the wastebaskets...you'll find no packets or bottles of lube lying around, no underwear tossed on the floor…no jizz on the sheets."

"Ugh," Sam shuddered.

Sebastian flipped open the bed clothes from his long legs. "And see? I've got pants on." He pulled down his waistband to show off his navy D&G boxer briefs, causing Sam to shrink back. "And briefs. If we'd had sex last night or this morning, I'd be gloriously naked." He pointed at Blaine. "And Killer there would have a very specific kind of bedhead, because when he ..."

Sam's face scrunched up and he held a hand up at Sebastian. "Okay, okay, shhh stop! I believe you. I believe you!"

"Great. So you're good now?" Rob turned and yawned as he started heading for the door without waiting for an answer.

Sebastian was chuckling again. "Oh Robbie, your face when you thought I'd gotten out from under your thumb! You haven't looked that annoyed at yourself since that time you drank so much at band practice that you missed the game the next day."

Blaine heaved a huge sigh of relief and finally relaxed. "Sorry to give you such a scare," he said soothingly to Sam. "I appreciate you really being a superhero about this, it really means a lot that you understand how important all of this is. But you should know I would never, ever break my promise to you about not having sex in the next bed."

Sebastian added, "And now you can have my promise too, if you throwing heavy objects at us in the middle of sex is a possibility in that scenario." He leaned over and lifted the backpack, quirking an eyebrow, "Do you have bricks in this thing? You could have broken some critical parts there, shit…"

"Well, what else was I supposed to do?" Sam retorted, still coming down from his agitated mental state.

Blaine turned to point sternly down at Sebastian, who was stretching his long arms. "NO THREESOME JOKES."

Sam rolled his eyes and darted into the bathroom.

Sebastian laughed. "Babe, I love how I've corrupted you! You really are a dirty little freak now!" He sat up and pulled Blaine back into bed.

Blaine giggled and made a minor attempt at getting away before turning over and pushing Sebastian down onto his back. He climbed on top of him and lay his curly head on his broad chest with a fond smile on his face. "You're the one with the dirty mind, I just know it well enough to be able to preempt you."

"Whatever, perv."

…

_BLAINE: On my way back!_

_SEB: You finished early. I'm still on my run - do you mind hanging until I finish - I'll be done in maybe 30?_

_BLAINE: Of course I don't mind. I'll just get changed and come out and dip my feet in the pool. It will be nice after being indoors all morning. I can meet up with you at the end of your run. Do you know where you'll end up?_

_SEB: Not sure, maybe the kayak beach?_

_BLAINE: Ok, I'll meet you there. Call me if you want me to come somewhere else_

…

As Sebastian reached the kayak beach he felt his heart warm when he spotted Blaine. He slowed his run to stop a decent distance away and take a photo. Blaine was looking contemplative against the water, blessedly shirtless and in form fitting swim trunks. The sight was too gorgeous to not capture for posterity. Flawless, indeed.

As he drew closer Blaine heard his footsteps and turned to greet him and smile. "Hello, Handsome!"

"Hello, Adonis," Sebastian smiled as he grabbed Blaine's waist and planted a sweaty kiss on him. "Mmmm…" he hummed with satisfaction as he kept his hold firm, one hand sliding down Blaine's bare back. "I'll withstand this heat if it means you go shirtless."

Blaine smiled up at him, shaking his head in amusement as he pulled closer and patted Sebastian's ass in return. "When I got outside the convention I realized there is no point in wearing a shirt, I'd just sweat through it."

Sebastian nodded, pulling away to strip off his own running jersey. He held it up with an arch of his eyebrow. "Good call. This overpriced, 'sweat-wicking' feat of textile technology is no match for the Florida sun today."

"Well at least it provided some sun protection. I can't believe that you're running in this weather."

"I got talked into starting triathlon training today." Sebastian tucked his shirt into the back of his waistband and put an arm around Blaine's shoulders, guiding him across the pebbles and mud towards the path.

Blaine's brow furrowed when he realized they were walking in the opposite direction of the hotel. "Hey, where are we going?"

Sebastian winked at him and gave him a teasing smile, but said nothing.

Blaine wheedled for an answer. "Why aren't we going back? There's air conditioning in the other direction! And a bed to nap in!"

Sebastian looked at him indulgently. "We'll get there…I just wanted to show you something first. Don't worry, there's a breeze now and then off the water."

Blaine smiled agreeably. "Okay, I almost always like your surprises." He put his arm around Sebastian's waist and pulled him closer as they walked, even though both of them were starting to get a bit slick with sweat. There was something intimate and lovely, even in the heat, about walking with Sebastian along the beautiful lake on the hotel's grounds.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Blaine spoke up. "Where is your race going to be?"

"Napa. Thomas hooked Roger, Charlie and Jay to do it too, with the promise of buying the wine afterwards."

Blaine's smile was genuine, though he wished he wasn't still bothered by the mention of Jay. "That sounds like a beautiful place for a race. My parents went there once and came back with some stunning pictures."

Sebastian replied absently, "Should be good, as long as it doesn't get too hot that far inland by the end of May." Blaine looked concerned when an ambivalent expression appeared on Sebastian's face and his tone morphed into the less confident one from the end of winter quarter. "Hopefully training won't be too much of a time suck. I wasn't sure I should do one in the spring. I was like a glutton for punishment, signing up for another class with Gomez."

"Wait, I thought she was your favorite professor last quarter…" Blaine interjected.

"She was...in lecture and office hours. But her assignments and exams were brutal. All that reading and those papers - talk about a time suck. Maybe I should drop it for something else. I've got more on my plate again. My dad barked at me in an email this morning to do some kind of community service leadership thing for business school applications." He ran a hand through his hair. "I hate it when he's right."

"I know," Blaine said sympathetically. "But remember that giving you unsolicited advice is just his twisted way of showing you he loves you. If he didn't care about you at all he would just ignore you."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I wish he didn't care about me at all, then."

"Don't say that." Blaine rubbed Sebastian's lower back soothingly. "Anyway, you got an A in Professor Gomez' class last quarter so at least you know how she grades." He concluded encouragingly, "And I think it's great you're doing the triathlon. You'll need another outlet with lacrosse being over. You should be fine in terms of time - you won't have recruiting, and you're only taking three classes."

Sebastian nodded slightly in acknowledgment, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess it should be doable."

"Definitely. And you'll enjoy spending time with your friends while you train, that's never a waste of time," Blaine said warmly.

"It'll be fun kicking Thomas' ass this time," Sebastian conceded with a smirk. "He was calling me chicken all morning via text. Then Roger and Charlie were begging me to commit so they wouldn't have to train with Thomas by themselves. All three of them wouldn't stop with all the texting until I said yes." Sebastian shook his head and quirked a half smile.

"Aww, they love you so much," Blaine looked sentimental..

"Maybe a little too much." Sebastian rolled his eyes again, but Blaine knew he was pleased.

"You guys will have fun. And that race is going to be amazing if it goes past those gorgeous vineyards..."

"Yeah." Sebastian looked thoughtful. "The one I really want to do is the TriRock in San Diego in the fall, even if it means training during the summer instead of just being lazy at the beach on weekends."

"TriRock? Does that mean you rock climb on top of all the other stuff? Wouldn't that make it a quadathlon?" Blaine's eyes sparkled mischievously.

"No," Sebastian attempted to ruffle the curls, only to be swatted away. "It means they play rock'n' roll along the whole route."

"That is perfect for you," Blaine smiled. "It will remind you of the power of music as you continue to feed your growing sports adrenaline addiction." He wagged a finger, "I'm certainly glad Rob is joining Mixed Company, I'll ask him to make sure you don't neglect your dancing and singing."

Sebastian reached over to tweak his nose. "If only to try keep up with the one and only supernova Blaine Anderson."

Blaine glanced fondly at Sebastian's content face for a moment before musing, "I still think you could have gotten into any of the top theater arts schools and had a great career performing."

Sebastian shook his head gravely and spoke thoughtfully, as if still explaining it to himself. "B, we've been over this. If I can't direct or at least choreograph what I perform, I get too frustrated. I think that's why drama at Dalton was hit and miss for me… I didn't like all of the drama teacher's artistic choices. The Warblers were ideal because I got to lead the team…until Hunter. I get too antsy working under someone else."

"Yeah, but you'll still have to do that in the corporate world," Blaine pointed out.

"At least in business it shouldn't be too hard get into at least a junior management role in pretty short order. And I expect to start my own company sooner than later. Transitioning from just performing to directing takes forever."

"You could just study to be a director, like Artie."

"I like to perform too much to just direct. And even if I were to sweat my way to being an actor/director, just being in show business would probably be too annoying. Entertainment is dominated by conglomerates that move too slow, so being a director or producer involves endless schmoozing and ridiculous politics."

"I've never met a better schmoozer than you," Blaine interjected, playing devil's advocate more than anything else. "And my dad says politics are half of what makes stuff happen in business."

"But at least in tech I'd be dealing with smart people. Present company excluded, a lot of managers, agents, producers and even directors are nitwits." He concluded decisively, "No, I'd have a stroke working in entertainment. Too many idiots."

Blaine laughed. "I don't know why I'm asking you all these questions, you have always known what you want and how to go get it."

"I didn't know how to go get you," Sebastian smirked.

Blaine smiled and rolled your eyes. "Thinking that you could just go ‘get’ me was your first mistake." He reached up to pat Sebastian's cheek. "I love that you earned my affections in spite of your faulty first impulses."

"And I love that you earned _my_ affections in spite of your Peewee Herman inspired wardrobe."

Blaine slapped Sebastian's backside. " _Anyway_ , it does sound like being a tech entrepreneur should be a good fit…you can hire all the genius people you want and make stuff happen as fast as your impatient nature desires."

"Bingo." Sebastian said without expression. He continued in the low, unguarded voice he only used with Blaine. "But yeah, I'll probably miss performing once I graduate."

Blaine was saddened and touched. He groped for something helpful to say. "My dad said that his business school had a band and even a big musical." Even as the words came out of his mouth he knew they were of little comfort.

"Yeah, he told me about that," Sebastian had to chuckle. "MBA students sound nuts – they're all like 27 or 28 but your dad says they all act like a bunch of frat boys. He and I decided that most of them had to be nerds in college to get the grades to get into Harvard or Northwestern. So when they get there they try to squeeze in all the partying they didn't do in college. Anyway, even if business school has any good performance opportunities, that's only two more years."

"Then there's always community theater."

"Yeah," Sebastian's voice was laced with doubt. His eyes looked far away as he tried envision his future.

Blaine's face was understanding. "I know, you've told me...if you perform after college you don't want it to be…"

"Po-dunk. It would be too degrading."

"Well, if you live in some of the big cities there are really prestigious regional theatres that do open auditions. Cooper's been telling me all about LA regional theatre scene and there are some really big Hollywood types in productions there. Like Tim Robbins started this small company called "The Actor's Gang" and it sounds really cool."

Sebastian nodded but didn't respond.

Blaine looked pensive as they walked past increasingly thick reeds and rushes. "But in the end it's going to be about how you choose how to spend your spare time. I can see you getting wrapped up in some great start-up and working tons of hours and not ultimately making time for performing or lacrosse. If you really loved it that much, I would be happy for you – but a selfish part of me would be sad if you stopped performing all together."

"That's a weird thought."

"It gives me hope that you think so," Blaine said with a smile. "Hope that you won't love any start-up more than you love being Gene Kelly or James Dean onstage at least once a year in some wonderful regional production." He looked up to lock eyes with Sebastian and say encouragingly, "In the meantime let's not worry about the future so much. You're just a freshman, Baby. We have lots of time for you to work on your future and perform as much as your heart desires in your present."

Sebastian's mood lifted as he looked into the earnest hazel eyes. "Yeah, I doubt I'll ever give up performing entirely."

Blaine looked happy. "I'm glad to hear that. You get so much joy out of performing and you bring people so much pleasure with your charisma, your energy, and the..." He paused to search for the words. "Emotional depth you bring. I think you surprise people with that, in the best way. You show a side of yourself that helps people realize that you, and many people out there, are more than you seem on the surface. You're not just another pretty face."

"Or I'm not just another asshole," Sebastian smirked. His eyes were soft however, and he looked down at Blaine with a fond smile. "You sure know how to butter a guy up. What do you want now? You need someone to dress up as Voldemort and tap dance in your next convention skit?"

Blaine laughed. "I don't want anything except for you to stop worrying about what you're going to do or not do in your future. I just want you to enjoy doing _nothing_ with me right now on our wonderful spring break." He pulled his arm from Sebastian's waist to join their hands and swing them, looking up to give Sebastian a carefree look.

Sebastian loved that boyish expression, the one that always lifted his spirits. He smiled fondly at him before he looked up and realized where they were. "Hey, here we are. I was hoping he would still be here."

Blaine had been so engrossed in their conversation that he hadn't noticed anything around them before Sebastian spoke up. The manicured grounds around the manmade lake had given way to breathtaking natural wetlands, fringed heavily in green reeds and trees. Sebastian was pointing at a graceful, white, long-legged bird in the marshy banks of the large creek.

After a moment Sebastian explained, "This is Shingle Creek, headwaters to the Everglades."

"Seb, this is beautiful," Blaine said in awe. He leaned up to give him a leisurely kiss that tasted of mingled saltiness and mutual adoration.

"I knew you'd like it," Sebastian said with satisfaction. He walked them over a good distance from the bird so they wouldn't scare it, and sat them down in a patch of rough grass under a tree.

Blaine coaxed Sebastian to lay down sideways and put his head into his lap. "You must be so tired after your hot run. This is the perfect place to do exactly what I was talking about. This is the perfect place to do nothing." He began to run his fingers through Sebastian's damp, soft hair. "Well, nothing except observe our friend the bird…and listen to you breathe…and feel this little heaven-sent breeze off of this creek."

Sebastian looked up at Blaine and fell for him a little harder. They sat for almost ten minutes, hearing insects and birds and the rustle of trees and rushes. Sebastian couldn't remember the last time he has been so still, without a TV on in the background or a book in his face at bedtime. He watched patches of heavy clouds roll overhead and the leaves fluttering on swaying branches. He was about to fall asleep when Blaine jostled him by shifting to scratch the back of his neck. Through sleepy eyes, Sebastian grew fascinated by how the sweat glistened on Blaine's soft skin, along the graceful bone structure of his face, down the gorgeous curve of his neck, across his firm pectorals and abs, over the strong muscles of his shoulders and arms. As a little sweat ran down Blaine's face to his chin, Sebastian reached up and wiped it off, licking his finger tip with an enigmatic look on his face.

Blaine's eyes were darkened as he leaned down to give him a slow, hot, kiss. Sebastian leaned up to kiss more deeply, his tongue probing for more. "C'mere," he murmured, pulling at Blaine's shoulders to draw his body on top of him.

Blaine reluctantly slowed down their kisses. "Seb, anyone could walk by."

"Who cares?" Seb said in his sexiest voice, licking into his mouth even more seductively.

"I care…" Blaine whispered between kisses. "And the hotel security might care. This is the Ritz Carlton, not a college beach party…"

"The management knows who I am, we've stayed at these places for years. They aren't going do anything to me." Sebastian sat up and got behind a bemused Blaine to fit him in the 'V' of his long legs, bent at the knee to provide a safe haven between his muscular thighs.

Blaine smiled as Sebastian's bare chest pressed up against his back, the sweetly familiar lips kissing down his neck. He could feel his heart accelerate and his cock start to harden as Sebastian's hands moved from his shoulders to his chest, circling his nipples and making him shiver. His eyes closed as he whispered, "Yes, the management knows who you are, but hotel security does not, and I don't relish the idea of them dragging us to go talk to management."

"Oh, I'll tell them to sod off…"

Sebastian's statement was interrupted by a clap of thunder and rain starting to fall. "Well that settles it," he smiled. "No one is going to come out here now." He took advantage of Blaine's surprise at the rain and maneuvered around to push him flat on his back in the grass. Blaine felt his whole body react as Sebastian's strong chest bore down with exquisite weight, their hips pushed together with delicious friction, lips pressing hotly in contrast to the cool rain.

Blaine let go of any remaining restraint. He bit lightly and sucked on Sebastian's lower lip before kissing him passionately, their slick tongues mingling with fervor as they slid their very hard cocks together. Blaine could feel the dirt becoming mud beneath them but he didn't care. Their bare chests glided against each other, dripping with rain and Sebastian leaned down to lap drops from Blaine's neck and chest, finally circling his nipple with his tongue while gripping his hips and pushing up against his thigh..

Another clap of thunder welcomed what definitely qualified as a downpour, beating down on them until Sebastian breathed, "This rain is getting kind of distracting."

"And cold. And potentially dangerous," Blaine panted as they sat up, chuckling. "We could get struck by lightning," he smiled, standing up and lending Sebastian his hand to help him get up, too.

Sebastian laughed as they headed back towards the hotel. "Don't worry, scaredy-cat. I read somewhere that the chances of getting struck by lightning in any given year are 1 in 700,000."

"Anything could happen," Blaine said impishly. "If someone had told me a couple of years ago that on my first college spring break I would be making out with you in the Florida mud..."

"Your beautiful eyes would have glazed over and you would have gone home to jerk off."

Blaine smacked him on the side of the head before grinning back at him as he accelerated suddenly. "Last one back is a rotten egg!"

By the time they breathlessly reached their suites their sleep deprivation caught up with them. After almost nodding off during a long, hot shower, Sebastian came over to Blaine's suite and found the curtains drawn. His face softened instantly into a loving expression at the sight of Blaine, already lightly snoring. He slipped into bed gratefully, kissing the wet curls as he curled himself up against Blaine's warm back and slipped an arm around him. Just moments later, Sebastian was fast asleep, too.

...

Sebastian woke first, feeling parched. In his tiredness and the distraction of the rain, he hadn't guzzled the large bottle of water he usually had after a run. He sat up reluctantly to get a glass of water, but before he stood up he reached out to gently rest a hand on Blaine's back, feeling his breathing and warmth through the soft cotton of his t-shirt.

Once his thirst was quenched he crawled back into bed, still fairly groggy. As he started to lay down he caught sight of himself and Blaine in the mirror on one wall. From that angle he couldn't see Blaine's face, and it struck him that if it was a year ago he might have been laying down with any dark haired man. He looked with half closed eyelids from the mirror to the glimmers of light coming through gaps in the drapes, struck by how surreal the moment felt.

He shouldn't be surprised. For a couple of years Blaine had been not just a friend and a flirtation, but also in some ways a fantasy - an almost unrealistic goal. Now he had him in front of him, in his arms. Of course it felt surreal.

And considering his history, it was also not unreasonable to question how he ended up with sleeping with _any_ gorgeous sleeping man. Sleeping. Just sleeping. Because they wanted to wait until they were ready. Because they wanted to wait to be boyfriends. Since when did Sebastian Smythe wait for anything, let alone wait to be someone's boyfriend?

 _Since Blaine Anderson._ He lay down behind Blaine and looked at the well groomed hairline and the disordered bedhead hair sprouting above it. He reflected on their afternoon: walking, talking, laughing. Sitting and doing nothing. Making out…but again, decidedly not having sex.

It made sense at the time and it still did when he thought about it, yet it still was a little surreal. They hadn't had sex all week and he was still here. _Cuddling._

"Happiness is less about what you do, than who you're with," Blaine had said.

Happiness.

Before Blaine, Sebastian had enjoyed plenty of fun in his life. He also had felt a lot of triumph, witnessed an impressive range of beauty, and had even experienced a good bit of wonder and awe. But happiness? That had been more touch-and-go. It was a state of being Sebastian had never spent much time pondering.

But now, as he looked down at Blaine's peaceful repose, he found himself beginning to feel capable of a kind of happiness he used to scoff at - because it had never seemed really plausible. He had always assumed that kind of happiness was real only in the movies or in those transcendental moments of a song or performance. Or if by some chance it was real, he always assumed Blaine would have that kind of happiness with someone else.

Yet these days, Blaine's loving presence in his life was making Sebastian consider the elusive possibility that they could have that kind of happiness together. In all honesty, "consider" was not the right word. The reality was, the pursuit of that possibility, far-fetched as it seemed at times, had become the most ambitious challenge he had ever taken on in his over-aggressive, over-achieving life.

Sure, Blaine loved everyone. Sure, it was not clear yet if any love he had for Sebastian was the lasting and deepest kind. Sure, they had fifty kinds of baffling relationship mechanics and emotional crap to work through. But even with all that Sebastian could appreciate that the care and love Blaine was bringing to his life right now was infinitely better and more reliable than any his family or most of his friends were bringing. So he was going to do whatever he could for whatever love Blaine had for him, for however long he could have it, for everything it was worth.

Blaine stirred and Sebastian leaned to kiss the back of his neck. The softness and the scent of Blaine's skin seemed to make the almost painful tenderness in his chest permeate still more. He hadn't known he could feel like this. Want like this. _Need_ like this.

Sebastian thought he might tear in two from all these goddamned feelings. They made him feel like he was reinventing himself at times, like he was losing himself at other times, terrifying most of the time.

He learned that long ago that he couldn't stop the goddamned feelings though. When they first started to bubble up over coffees and texts, he had tried to shove them down. That ended in a rock salt slushy to Blaine's eye. After he turned over a new leaf the feelings only grew more stronger. He had tried to ignore them and "fake it 'til you make it." That ended in an abandoned flight to Paris and his appearance at the Klaine wedding after all. He had tried during the fall and winter break to at least hold them at bay while Blaine put himself back together. That ended in unstoppable sex, weepy goodbyes and binge cookie-eating.

There was no stopping the goddamned feelings, no matter how confusing and exhausting and even nauseating they were at times. There was no stopping them. And somewhere in the last six months, Sebastian found that he didn't want them to stop anymore, anyway.

He didn't want them to stop because of moments like this. Moments like this, when he was able to hold Blaine closely to his chest. Blaine, who even in his sleep radiated everything graceful and good and beautiful in life.

He closed his eyes as he pressed his cheek against Blaine's damp hair, conscious thought giving way to a song _[hear "If I Lose Myself" on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist, play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]:_

 _I stared up at the sun,_  
_Thought of all of the people, places and things I've loved._  
_I stared up just to see_  
_With all of the faces, you were the one next to me._

 _You can feel the light start to tremble,_  
_Washing what you know out to sea._  
_You can see your life out of the window tonight._

 _If I lose myself tonight,_  
_It'll be by your side._  
_I lose myself tonight…_  
_(oh) yeah, yeah, yeah._

_If I lose myself tonight_

  
_It'll be you and I._  
_Lose myself tonight..._

...

 _Whoooooooooo_  
_(Whoooooooooo)_

 _Take us down and we keep trying,_  
_Forty thousand feet, keep flying._  
_Take us down and we keep trying,_  
_Forty thousand feet, keep flying._

...

_(Lose myself)_

_If I lose myself tonight…_  
_Whoooooooooo_  
_Whoooooo, whoooo,_  
_Whooooooo..._

Sebastian was almost asleep when the chirp of a text came through on his phone. He pulled it off the nightstand to look at the screen with half closed eyelids.

_22244: A REMINDER OF YOUR PLIGHT._

Sebastian blinked and squinted at the screen again.

 _22244: A REMINDER OF YOUR FLIGHT_  
_Delta Airlines Reminder_  
_AIR CONFIRMATION: FGH45_  
_PASSENGER: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date March 29, 2014_  
_Flight 696_  
_Depart Orlando International Airport (MCO) at 12:15 PM_  
_Arrive in San Francisco International Airport (SFO) at 01:35 PM_  
_Need a Rental Car? Hotel? h t t p : / /  t . co/IykD3gjoV6_

...

Sebastian tossed the phone back on the nightstand, wrapping his arm around Blaine's waist again. He closed his eyes tightly and held Blaine even more closely, feeling suddenly bitter.

 _You can feel the light start to tremble,_  
_Washing what you know out to sea._  
_You can see your life out of the window tonight._

_..._

Sebastian woke from a wearisome dream he already couldn't remember the details of, wondering how he could feel more exhausted after a nap than before it. He hazarded to guess that he was just still tired from winter quarter. Tired from taking on too much, like an idiot. From taking on so much that he had been oblivious to the extent of Blaine's loneliness. Tired of not seeing Blaine's face everyday to see if he was as happy as he deserved to be. Tired of worrying about how horrible it was going to be to see Blaine's tearful face at the airport on Sunday.

Then suddenly Blaine was crawling on top of him and the perfect lips were nibbling on his neck as a compactly muscled leg came between his. He responded with an almost overwhelming surge of relief, pulling Blaine up by the back of his neck and hotly stroking into his mouth with an urgency he hadn't felt since Ohio, or perhaps ever. If he could only hold him close enough, maybe he wouldn't have to let go.

Blaine groaned as he felt Sebastian's hips immediately start grinding up against him. He smiled and whispered, "Easy, Tiger." He started to slowly kiss his way down Sebastian's neck but was pushed back up by Sebastian's hands on his ass.

 _The point of no return,_ his mind warned. "Bas," he whispered again, smiling as he buried his face in his neck. "Let's not get carried away."

Sebastian only gripped his ass harder, with almost desperate need, sliding their hardening cocks against each other with dangerous friction. "I want you so much," he whispered urgently, his voice gravelly from sleep. He rolled over on top of Blaine and started kissing down his neck, hands gliding down his sides to circle his thumbs at his waist.

Blaine felt himself get even harder at the sound of that sexy voice and the exquisite feeling of his touch, his lips. "I want you so much too..." His hands nudged Sebastian back up so he could reach his ass, even as his mind continued to sound an alarm. "But remember…"

Sebastian let out a low hum and lightly bit into his neck, licking and kissing to soothe it before moving down to his collarbone and providing similar treatment to a sensitive spot he had discovered in Ohio. Sebastian arched his long torso a bit to slide his hands under Blaine's t-shirt and straddle him. Blaine's eyes closed as his hands enjoyed the firm feel of Sebastian's ass. The green eyes were darkened as Sebastian rotated his hips and increased the friction against his groin. Blaine bucked a bit as he gripped Sebastian's hips. The long fingers were caressing Blaine's skin urgently, a thumb circling a nipple while the other hand splayed to rub the straining muscles of his abs.

It was not much more than he and Sebastian had done in the morning or by the creek, yet it was different. This was very different in a very hot way. Blaine shivered and bucked upwards again. "Seb that feels so good but we should stop…"

Sebastian didn't let up, his eyes dark with want. "B, I don't want to stop...god I need…" his mouth was on Blaine's again, hands travelling up and down his arms and hips and waist and chest, his lips and tongue pushing heatedly in time with his cock rubbing Blaine's.

Blaine felt heady as he cupped Sebastian's ass. "God Seb you're gonna make me..."

"Come with me, I want you so much. I don't want to let go," Sebastian whispered, tongue and lips pulling at Blaine's earlobe and one hand palming Blaine's cock.

Blaine groaned, moving his hands under his shirt to the bare skin on Sebastian's back. He managed to pant out, "God Seb...I know. But we...shouldn't."

"Babe we only have a couple more days..." Sebastian's cock felt big and hard on Blaine's thigh and his hand was pumping and making Blaine moan louder. He whispered urgently, "I just want you...close…I want to be inside you."

Blaine felt torn and his heart started to ache with want, with longing for everything he wanted with Sebastian. But his mind was still warning him at the same time and it was too much. It was too overwhelming and confusing, and he couldn't think straight.

His hand came out from under Sebastian's shirt and pushed away at his waist. His whisper was frustrated and sad and pleading. "Seb no, it's too much. I can't…"

Sebastian slowed reluctantly to a stop and rolled off of Blaine without a word.

Blaine looked guilty. "Seb, I…"

"I get it." Sebastian interrupted, his eyes closed, face expressionless but his body radiating tense frustration. He was flat on his back, arms straight down his sides, legs straight and slightly spread.

Blaine turned his head to look at him and made a weak attempt at humor. "It's so easy to get carried away, isn't it?"

Sebastian surprised him by sitting up. "I wasn't getting carried away. I wanted it as soon as you started kissing me. But I get it. I just hate...this," he said darkly as he got out of bed.

"Hey, come back here, where are you going?" Blaine sat up, looked worried. "Do you want to talk? Are you okay?"

Sebastian didn't look at him as he crossed the suite in pain. He spoke in a monotone. "I'm okay, Blaine. You didn't do anything wrong. I just need some air. I'm going to get dressed, maybe go get a shave. We still have a decent amount of time before dinner. Let's just all meet in the lobby at...let's say 6:30."

"Okay," Blaine said faintly, looking hurt.

Sebastian didn't notice, still not turning around as he reached the door. The door clicked behind him and Blaine felt a drop in the pit of his stomach as he fell back on the bed and curled up with the duvet.

…

An hour later, Rob and Blaine walked into the elegant lounge downstairs. "His text said the bar on the lobby level, is this the only one?" Rob asked.

"I think so," Blaine knew it had only been a one line text about where to meet, but he couldn't help but worry. Normally Sebastian would have sent the meeting place in a flirtatious text exchange with Blaine which had become their standard.

"There they are," Rob said gently, sensing Blaine's distress and hazarding a guess that his roommate had something to do with it. He pointed out a newly coiffed Sam and a smiling Sebastian at a small corner table. He said somewhat regrettably, "And it looks like Seb's already had a few." Sebastian was indeed looking considerably looser than when he left Blaine. He was also impeccably dressed and groomed, drinking a scotch and, as Blaine bitterly said later, "having eyesex" with a gorgeous East Asian man.

When he spotted Rob and Blaine out of the corner of his eye, Sebastian waved at them casually but returned to his conversation while they finished crossing the room. He greeted them with a small smile, though he didn't make prolonged eye contact with Blaine. "Hey guys, this is John Gao, he was my masseuse here at the spa. I ran into him when we were in the salon. John, this is Rob Dean and Blaine Anderson."

Cordial nods were exchanged and Rob observed Blaine's too polite smile.

Sebastian's smile for John was slightly flirtatious as he and Sam stood up. "Well, we're off to dinner, but thanks for the drink. We'll see you around."

"Hope so," John answered with a cool smile.

Rob pulled Sam by the shoulder and purposefully guided him to walk ahead of the other two. Sebastian's hands were in his pockets as they headed for the front entrance. Blaine longed to reach out to hold his hand but wasn't sure if Sebastian still needed space. He said too lightly, "You weren't kidding about that masseuse being hot." He felt foolish as he hoped for Sebastian's usual reassuring compliment about how much hotter Blaine was.

Sebastian only answered casually, "Yeah, good guy, too," as he looked through his wallet. He broke stride with Blaine to catch up with Rob and Sam. "Sammy, do you have the valet ticket from last night? You usually give them to me but I don't have it." He added with a mischievous grin, "Hey Rob, how do you like Sammy's new look? I supervised the haircut and the shave myself, had them leave a little stubble. He looks so hot we're going to have to fight off guys all night." He put a hand on Sam's strong shoulder and left it there as they continued walking, explaining more details of Sam's makeover to a patient looking Rob. Blaine winced as he hurried to catch up with them, feeling like a fifth wheel as he walked next to Sebastian, whose back was half-turned from him.

When the valet brought the car around, Blaine walked around to the driver's door. Sam followed him and put his hand on the door to stop Blaine getting in. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Blaine started to get into the car.

Sam reached to grab his arm and pull him back up. "Blaine, I knew you were upset about something the minute you came downstairs. You always over-gel your hair when you're nervous or upset."

Blaine touched his hair self-consciously. "Okay, I'm worried about Seb. Do you think he's acting weird at all?"

Sam glanced at the other side of the car. "No...unless you think it's weird that he's an extra good mood. He was definitely a lot of fun at the salon," he chuckled.

"You're sure it's not an act?" Blaine asked. "He and I...we...teetered on the point of no return after our nap. He was really frustrated. Then he left before we could talk it through."

"Oh. Sorry." Sam grimaced. "Well, what's there to talk about? You guys got turned on and then you didn't have sex. He probably just needed to cool off, I know what that's like from when I was dating Quinn and Mercedes. But he really seems fine now."

"You really think so? He was having eyesex with that masseuse right in front of me!"

"Oh Blaine, he wasn't trying to make you jealous. When I got mad about him flirting with that waiter in front of you the other night, _you_ are the one who told me that it's harmless. How did you put it? 'He gives his bedroom eyes to almost any one cute and under 40 in tight pants'?" Sam reached over to pat his shoulder reassuringly. "You weren't there to see it but he was flirting with the lady stylist at the salon, too. The flirting is probably helping him get his mind off of his blueballs. Any bad mood he might have been in went away at the salon, believe me. He was having so much fun acting like some fashion shoot director and making me blush!"

Blaine's eyes started to look amused, imagining the scene. "That does sound like him…"

"Yep," Sam gave him two thumbs up. "Your man is happy again...so be happy!"

Blaine gradually exhaled as he took comfort in Sam's words. "I guess you're right. It sounds like he's fine. Thanks, Sam."

Rob, in the meantime, had been sure to get in the back seat so Sebastian would have to sit with Blaine. "Take shotgun, Six-Foot-Two," he said casually.

As they drove to the restaurant Sebastian did some texting. "Hey Killer, did you hear Thad broke a finger playing basketball this week? First, what the hell is that midget doing attempting basketball? And second, there are so many sex jokes to be made about a broken finger, I don't even know where to start." Without waiting for an answer, he addressed Sam as he looked into the rearview mirror. "Seriously Sammy, you look like another person. You could get into modeling for cash while you're in school when you get back to the states."

Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Don't get started about that time we got stopped by that agency scout when we were in the city," Rob said lightly. "But I would think Blaine could model if he wanted, too," Rob added, with a concerned look at Blaine's profile.

"Yeah, I've been telling him that for years," Sebastian agreed, looking in the rearview mirror again as his chest tightened painfully.

Blaine was somewhat soothed by the comment, though he would have been more reassured if Sebastian had looked at him, placed his hand on his leg or arm, or if there had been a note of his usual intimacy in the statement.

"That John was a model in Hong Kong for years," Sebastian added, making Blaine's heart plummet again. "He said he got lucky starting out and he earned a mint. But he said he got tired of that life - being poked and prodded and treated cattle. So now, lucky for all of us, he uses his very, VERY talented hands to pay it forward."

Rob and Sam looked at each other. They stopped at a red light and Blaine gave Sam a sarcastic thumbs up in the rearview mirror.

Sebastian was looking out the passenger window. "Also lucky for all of us, Killer would never want that life either, so he's going to pay it forward by becoming the stage and screen actor of our generation."

Sam gave _I told you so_ eyes to Blaine in the mirror. Rob looked somewhat relieved as Blaine blushed lightly and joked, "No pressure."

"You can handle the pressure," Sebastian returned with a reassuring smile. "Speaking of pressure and paying it forward, Rob where do you think I should do some community service on campus this quarter? My dad is hounding me to do something for my MBA resume. The dog is right, those schools are going to want to think I will be a leader in school and raise a crapload of money as an alum."

As the conversation continued Blaine felt himself start to relax. Sam was right. He had just been paranoid. Sebastian was fine.

…

On the way to the restaurant, Blaine felt his phone vibrate. He silenced it as he usually did while driving, but when they reached the restaurant he saw he had missed a call from his mother. He listened to the voicemail as they walked across the large restaurant to their table.

As they reached the table Rob, Sam and Sebastian saw that Blaine's face was a mixture of excitement and ambivalence. He smiled tentatively and said, "My mom just got home and got the letter. I got into NYADA."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I keep forgetting to include this note to you guys: if you are interested in spoilers, let me know and I will PM you or whatever. I have an ask box at whatdiditellyouflawless . tumblr . com and my writing email is tiburonwriter gmail . com I know I'm long winded, I really have a lot of things I want to do with this fic, so I appreciate you all hanging in there and wanted to offer spoilers if you guys can't wait to know what happens with these beautiful boys._


	31. You Do The Math

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seb tries to be fun, Blaine tries to stay cool. Sam and Rob just try to keep up. The whole thing becomes sort of painfully funny for awhile. Alcohol is bad for you, children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! A lot of folks haven't read the last chapter yet, but I did get one review that said things felt a bit slow, so if you are feeling that way I'll say thanks for hanging in there. We actually kind of want you to feel that way because that's how our boys feel too sometimes! I'm also guessing at it feels slow because we only have cranked out one chapter a month in the last two months, even though in our boys' universe it's only been two days! We really appreciate your patience though and I will try to be even more vigilant about pacing...starting with today, here is a new chapter much sooner! Hope you enjoy it, it was kind of juicy to write. And no, there is very little, if any fluff here...please review and let us know what you think! Thanks to Dori, Rose, and Cristina for the Beta reading and all your support!

Sebastian felt a surge of relief and happiness for Blaine...before his heart began to sink. He quickly shut that down and found sincerity for his smile as he pulled Blaine into his arms. This was absolutely excellent news for Blaine, even if he was going to still be three time zones away. With Hummel.

He'd been an idiot to not prepare himself for this. He knew this was going to happen. He should have thought about what to do. Instead, he had buried his head in the sand, distracting himself with school and glee club and lacrosse and spring break, not wanting to think things all the way through to this moment.

"See Killer, I knew you had nothing to worry about," he said over Blaine's shoulder. Blaine was hugging him tightly but Sebastian could only bear it for a few moments before he had to pull away. The hug had been short, but Blaine, Rob, and Sam saw that the look of pride and happiness was genuine.

Blaine was still a bit shell shocked however, so only Rob saw, by looking very closely, that Sebastian's happiness for Blaine was layered over something more pained. Rob caught the look of hesitancy that rapidly crossed Sebastian's face before he spoke again, his green eyes merry. "I'm not waiting for a waitress to get us drinks to celebrate." He smirked and pointed at each of his friends in turn. "Berry wine cooler or hard lemonade, Corona with a lime, margarita on the rocks with salt, yes?" All three nodded and Sebastian strode off towards the bar.

Rob looked like he might follow, but changed his mind.

Sam was hugging Blaine. "I knew you would get in again!"

Rob watched Blaine's eyes follow Sebastian to the bar. "Congratulations," he said heartily, giving him a quick hug and clapping him on the back. "That's like the best school in the country for musical theater, right?"

"Yep," Sam answered for him as he and Blaine sat down.

Rob stole a look at Blaine still watching Sebastian before excusing himself reluctantly. "I need to use the restroom," he said, walking across the room and stopping to pat Sebastian's shoulder along the way.

Sam also followed Blaine's line of vision. "Aww, Sebastian probably wishes you'd go to UCLA, but he is so happy for you. He's such a good guy."

Blaine said faintly, "Yeah…"

When Rob was out of earshot Sam's brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"

Blaine continued to look ambivalent as he stared at the handsome figure Sebastian cut against the glossy wood of the bar. "Nothing…"

[](http://imgur.com/T57jV6g)

Sam arched an eyebrow and patted Blaine's arm to get his attention. "Hey, it's me. What is it? You just got into NYADA! Isn't this what you've been worried about all quarter? Why aren't you happy?"

Blaine mustered a small smile as he faced Sam. "I _am_ happy, of course I'm happy that I got in, but I'm also torn. I mean NYADA is 3000 miles from Stanford, and Kurt is there and he's become a big deal there, at least according to Santana. And...I don't know…" Blaine looked away, his hazel eyes reflecting his confusion as he tried to pinpoint his feelings himself. "I guess I hadn't thought about how Sebastian would react. But I don't think I was expecting him to take it quite _that_ well." He lifted his chin towards the bar where Sebastian was quite possibly flirting with the very handsome Latino bartender.

Sam looked at him keenly. "Wait, so you wish he didn't want you to go to NYADA? That's not his speed. He's always wanted what's best for you, even if it sucks for him. Remember when you wanted to stay in San Francisco this year?"

"Yeah," Blaine said glumly. "But he was sad about that, he slept in the same bed with me for the first time and held me so tight all night. Then he left before I woke up because he didn't want to do a weepy goodbye. But now look at him, he doesn't seem to be very bothered that I could be thousands of miles away from him, again, for three years…" He pointed again at Sebastian, who was now shaking his head and giving the bartender an irresistable smile.

"Come on, Blaine - if he wasn't happy for you we'd all think he was being selfish. Now you don't like that he's happy for you? You can't have it both ways. I'm sure he's actually kind of torn up about it, but he's trying to do the right thing, he's trying to focus on being happy for you."

Blaine conceded that, but still looked troubled. "You're right, I can't have it both ways. But I guess I'm not convinced he's so torn up about it. I mean, maybe this afternoon was the last straw, maybe he's just accepting that we're a mess. Maybe he's starting to give up on us, maybe he's starting to…" Blaine swallowed thickly. "To disengage."

His eyes were a bit shiny and he looked across the room at a potted tree. "You should have seen him when he was getting out of bed this afternoon, Sam. I've never seen him so frustrated with me. And it's not hard to see why. I mean I was the one who climbed on top of him after I woke up from our nap. I started things. And when he started to...get me...more turned on, I was telling him how good it felt AND that we should PROBABLY stop in the same breath. I started things, but then I was the one who shut him down. Talk about mixed messages - of course he was angry."

Sam looked stern. "Blaine that wasn't just your fault, it was on BOTH of you guys to shut that down. I'm sure you started just wanting to make out. Seb shouldn't have tried to push you if you guys hadn't agreed to doin' it."

"He didn't really push me, he just told me what he wanted…and it wasn't aggressive, he was being very loving. It was just very passionate...and hot." Blaine flushed at the memory.

Sam looked slightly uncomfortable as he shook his head. "Uh, right. I don't need details. Please."

Blaine nodded, but continued looking even more upset. "It was frustrating for both of us. Oh, and I didn't tell you the worst part. He said he understood that I didn't want to have sex, but then he said 'I just hate this.' He HATES our situation, he hates what we are right now. He's probably getting tired of waiting for me to be ready...I'm sure he's tired of all of my issues. and I can't say I blame him. It's exhausting, being what we are."

Sam's blue eyes were worried. He suddenly really wished Mary was there. "Oh no, don't say that. You guys have been really sweet this week and all quarter. You both just have blueballs, and you're probably both just tired from not getting enough sleep this week."

"HE looks like he's gotten enough sleep," Blaine said, turning to look almost bitterly across the room at Sebastian's flawlessly coiffed hair, effortlessly sexy Prada shirt and tight dark olive Gucci jeans. "I don't know if I've ever seen him looking more perfect for a night out." He sighed. "But it's hard to blame him for wanting to have fun with someone less frustrating than me. I was basically invisible to him next to that masseuse, and now look at him with that hot bartender! I mean, how long can it take to pour a couple of drinks?"

Sam fumbled. "Uh…let's see, four drinks, but mine is just a bottle, unless they have fancy beer glasses..."

"It's okay, Sam." Blaine said with another sigh. "He's hot, so gorgeous men love flirting with him; and like we said, he loves flirting with gorgeous men. Heck, he won't shut up about how hot you look now that he's given you a makeover." His lower lip protruded just a bit. "It's just he usually follows up my jealous comments with reassuring compliments, and he's usually flirting with you with his arm wrapped around me."

Before Sam could say anything in response, Blaine spoke again. "I can't help but think he's starting to get distracted because I'm such a drag."

"Aw Blaine, I don't think that's true…" Sam's eyes were worried.

Rob, in the meantime, had just emerged from the men's room and joined Sebastian at the busy bar. The good-looking bartender was adding salt to the rim of Rob's margarita and Sebastian was already sipping his scotch. "Hey Guapo, you forgot to make this a double," he said, handing back his drink with a charming grin.

Rob's eyes questioned Sebastian's flirtatious tone but his own was casually joking. "Couldn't wait 'til you got back to the table?"

"Hey if I had, I would have gotten a one-balled scotch," Sebastian said, avoiding his roommate's eyes. "And what is it with Americans' paranoia around drinking alone? The French all think we're crazy with all of our shaming."

Rob didn't bother to reply, wearing a patient expression as he gave the bartender a nod of thanks and helped Sebastian carry the drinks across the room. After a few moments of walking across the large restaurant, he decided to buck his instincts and say something. "At least New York is closer than Scotland."

Sebastian wished he had finished the whole scotch as he looked into Rob’s eyes with a cool gaze. “Don’t worry about me, Dad. I’m happy for him - he worked his ass off to get in. So let’s celebrate for him. You’ll do some shots with me once you finish your girly drink?”

Rob nodded with a half smile and wondered once again why he bothered trying with Sebastian when he got like this. "A margarita is not a girly drink, particularly when we are in a Mexican restaurant."

Sebastian didn't respond because he had spotted a red-headed waitress two tables away from their booth and all he could think of was:

_...it just got so intense so fast and we slept together way too soon so we missed each other so much and it got to be so hard. We just weren't connecting, we fought about the usual things but the stakes were so high and the whole thing just fell apart in less than a year because we just weren't ready for something so serious and it was just so hard to...connect. We were so young and had a lot of growing up to still do, and to do all that with so many miles separating us was just too hard._

_Stop it_ , Sebastian warned himself. Tonight had to be about action, not thinking, and definitely not about feeling. He would deal with all that later. _Don't think about your own pity parade, just celebrate for him, be happy for him, he deserves it. Don't think, don't think, don't think. And definitely don't let the goddamned feelings loose._

Rob was sure to sit down next to Sam and not Blaine, but Sebastian didn't think twice about sliding into the booth next to Rob, even nudging him to move over as he began to badger Sam. "Sammy, hurry up with your beer, that's just your warm up. Rob said he'd do tequila shots with me, you have to, too. They've got really good stuff here."

Blaine was busy convincing himself that it was no big deal that Sebastian chose not to sit next to him. They didn't have to cuddle in every single restaurant booth they sat in, after all.

"You already daydreaming about New York, Little B?" Sebastian's green eyes twinkled above a crooked grin from across the table. He sipped steadily at his scotch. "Don't think you're getting out of doing shots with us. You are officially relieved of your designated driver duties. We can cab it to the club, I tipped the manager so we can leave the car here until tomorrow. "You deserve to let loose tonight to celebrate your good news." He wagged a long finger playfully. "You're out of high school now, it's time to start working on your pathetic alcohol tolerance. You can't blame it on your pint-sized bod forever."

Blaine felt stung. He wasn't sure he had ever heard Sebastian make fun of his body before. He took a deep breath. Captain Warbler was just being his drunk, freewheeling self. He had been teasing Rob incessantly last night at the Potter Ball while tipsy on Jack and cokes, after all.

Seb raised his glass to the table. "To Blaine, the next Joel Grey!"

Blaine's conflicted heart warmed a bit as they clinked glasses to the congratulatory words, only to be deflated at Sebastian's next toast.

"And to my blond boytoys, the next hot thing on the club scene tonight!"

Rob facepalmed, but not for the reason Sebastian might have guessed. "I'm ready for my shots now," he said dryly as he sipped his margarita and warily watched Sebastian steadily empty his scotch glass.

"Good. I've got to get you two liquored up good so you don't clam up later." Sebastian stretched his long arms across the back of the booth. "I cannot wait to get you two pieces of man candy into that club." He drawled, "Especially... no offense, Robbie...my new Ken Doll Sammy. If Little B wasn't here to defend his BFF I would definitely have some fun making the predatory gays jealous. But at the very least, I think the abtactular shots he owes me and a few body rolls on the dance floor will bring every guy in the place out of the woodwork to thank us for bringing in the hottest piece of ass Orlando has ever seen."

Blaine laughed too hard and chided himself for wishing Sebastian had added, "Besides Killer here, of course."

Sam was blushing, shaking his head and trying not to look uncomfortable. Rob was considering slapping Sebastian upside the head for both Sam and Blaine's sake.

Blaine knew he had always been hypersensitive to any attraction Sebastian might have for other men. He knew it tied in to a deep seated, irrational fear that someday Sebastian would grow tired of him and move on to someone hotter. He knew it was stupid. He knew that though Sebastian worshipped beauty he wasn't that shallow. But it still pricked at him tonight.

The waitress saved him from his thoughts by coming over and taking their dinner orders. Sebastian added to the end of his, "Also please bring a round of shots. Your best tequila, we're celebrating tonight." He gestured towards Blaine, "This talented gentleman just got his ticket to become a Broadway star in New York City."

The waitress congratulated Blaine and carded them before leaving the table. Then Blaine glanced nervously at Sebastian, whose gaze was now uncomfortably steady over his old fashioned glass. "Well, I don't know for sure that I'll go to NYADA. I haven't heard from Tisch or UCLA."

Sebastian shook his head as he swirled his scotch. "Oh, you and your pro-con lists for everything. We all know you're going to end up going to NYADA, it's the best school in the country for musical theater. And in New York you'll be able to audition for three shows a week. Plus it's an opportunity to live in friggin New York City while you're young. It's like a bucket list thing. Rob's mom went to graduate school there and she had a great time. My mom lived there and loved it, too. And those two women could not be more different human beings...that says something about that city."

He mused with a tipsy smirk, "Eight and a half million people squashed on only a couple of hundred square miles, furiously making art, money and love. The East Village, the West Village, Chelsea, Tribeca, The Upper West Side...it would be an unparalleled experience. I've always thought it was a little old school for me, but even if it is, it's also classic. Like Dalton. I still sometimes wonder if I should have gone to Columbia with Meatbox just to do the New York thing."

"Who's Meatbox?" Rob asked.

"A Warbler," Sebastian answered. He turned back to Blaine and crossed his arms across his chest, his eyelids looking heavy from inebriation. "That's another reason I know you'll end up choosing NYADA. You have a mob of groupies in New York all ready to worship your perfection. Meatbox, Santana, Berry, Artie, Hummel; Wes and Quinn nearby...were there others?"

Blaine cocked his head in surprise. "You think I should hang out with Kurt?"

Sam said in an aside to Rob, "Kurt is Blaine's ex." Rob nodded sagely, his eyes keenly focused on Sebastian.

Sebastian took a generous sip of his scotch and said casually, "He's the only gay guy you'll know in the city when you first get there, right? You wanted me to buddy up with Jay for the same reason."

 _But you and Jay haven't dated._ Blaine thought, finding that he oddly missed Jealous!Sebastian. His cruel mind went further. _You and Jay haven't dated, YET_. He took a generous sip of his drink. He wished Santana were there to give Sebastian grief for suddenly being so magnanimous about Kurt.

Sam was relaxing with his beer and looking impressed that Sebastian was trying to do the right thing again. "Seb that's cool you're all good with Blaine and Kurt hangin' out. Really awesome." He clinked his beer bottle with Sebastian's glass.

Rob looked at Sam with narrowed eyes. _You're not helping_ , his glance said.

Sebastian was looking a bit glazed over from the liquor and his smirk didn't reach his eyes. "It's a free country. It's his life," he shrugged, staring off towards the bar.

 _It's my life, but I thought you wanted to be a part of it,_ thought Blaine with frustration _._ He started to feel some anger begin to simmer with the hurt that needed some attention. He didn't think he was being hypersensitive now. Anyone would get a little miffed at Sebastian, casually paralleling Kurt with Jay. This was one reason why they never talked about Kurt. Sebastian never really understood or respected what they had been to each other.

Sebastian turned his head to look at Blaine decisively. "Okay, even if you have to reserve your final decision until you do your patented-Blaine-Anderson-23-point-analysis, you can still celebrate tonight. That school is so damn hard to get into and their decision to admit you twice is just further evidence of your overall superiority to the rest of the human race."

Even though his words lacked the personal warmth that usually accompanied his praise for Blaine, the table still found sincerity in Sebastian's statement. Blaine's anxious heart felt some relief, choosing not to see any of the pain behind Sebastian's eyes.

...

Over dinner the group tried to keep things light, which grew easier to do as the the tequila shots kept coming.

Sebastian was still playing the table fast and loose, even discussing his favorite aspects of New York City with Blaine. _It is what it is_ , his tequila dampened brain said to his bruised heart. "You have to live in Manhattan. It will be worth the extra money. Actually, we've got a couple of apartments there, I'll check with my mom and see if any of them are available. She wouldn't want you to pay, but if you insist she'll probably let you rent one from her. Just don't listen to Hummel about Bushwhack, you'll spend your whole life on the subway if you live there."

The tequila had hit Blaine hard and he was regarding Sebastian with big eyes and a sweet smile. "Oh, that's so nice of you to offer, Seb. But like I said, I haven't decided yet." He looked across the table flirtatiously. "MAYBE I'll get into UCLA and go to California, where there are a lot of other...attractive opportunities." He cocked his head coyly and it was Sam's turn to facepalm. There was no way that Sebastian would be ready to joke about this situation.

Conflicted pain flickered across Sebastian's handsome features before a smirk quickly replaced it. Blaine managed to miss the first reaction as he licked at the inside of his shot glass before looking up. Unsure of what Sebastian might say, Rob created a diversion by allowing his knife to clatter to the ground. He ducked under the table and gripped Sebastian's arm with a steadying hand in the process.

Rob's head came back up as Sebastian drawled darkly, "Don't tease us Californians, we might revolt on you and pick another stage and screen idol to worship. One that doesn't still have an imaginary friend."

Blaine blushed crimson and Rob came to the rescue. "You're not a Californian yet," he interjected, with a look to Sam, "even if you have a California driver's license."

"His other driver's license says he's a from Seattle, the University of Washington, remember?" Sam said with a weak laugh, following Rob's lead.

"I actually was almost a UW student," Rob said, his eyes still glancing at Sebastian. "I went to visit the campus and they offered me even more scholarship money than Stanford. It wasn't my vibe, though."

As Rob and Sam failed at engaging their roommates in their conversation, drunken Blaine's heart was mystified. Sebastian usually found his tipsy advances adorable. He decided to try again when his eyes landed on Sebastian's plate. "That looks good...What did you order, Seb?" he asked, licking his lips and throwing Sebastian a teasing look.

Sebastian had lapsed into silence, starting to watch a baseball game on a TV screen over Blaine's shoulder. He shook himself temporarily out of his trance. "Oh...uh...steak fajitas."

"I didn't like my burrito very much, too many onions." Blaine reached over for Sebastian's plate with an cheeky smile, ready to be swatted away and groused at.

Sebastian just pushed the plate towards him without taking his eyes off the screen behind him. "Here you go, little piggy," he said with a smirk. He didn't even look at him as his arms folded across his broad chest and he leaned back to continue watching the game.

Sam heard the comment and his eyebrows raised.

Blaine's blood simmered a bit more. _Piggy?!_ _And it's rude to watch a game at dinner._ He took a few angry bites, glaring at Sebastian for a few minutes. Eventually he started to huff and rub his crossed arms. Sam looked over and asked, "What, are you cold?"

"No," Blaine said stoutly.

Sebastian overheard them even though his eyes were still not coming off the TV screen. He stood up and said in a monotone, "You're always cold, B. I'll go get you a hoodie from the car."

Blaine didn't know quite what to think until Sebastian returned with Blaine's Buckeyes hoodie, rather than one of Sebastian's two hoodies that were also in the car. He put it on with silent annoyance.

Sebastian paid the bill and led them on their way out of the restaurant.

Sam looked warily between stewing, drunk Blaine and distractedly drunk Sebastian. "Hey guys, I heard the little JW Marriott piano bar has an open mic night tonight, with a full band backing."

Sebastian arched an eyebrow. "No way, Sammy - you're not getting out of our visit to boystown tonight." His eyes shifted to Blaine. "Killer deserves a real night out dancing."

Blaine smiled warmly at his words, only to roll his eyes at Sebastian's next line.

"Lord knows the only clubs Humdrum Hummel and Boring Barbra go to are knitting clubs."

Sam narrowed his eyes at him but Sebastian missed it in favor of putting a bit of swagger in his step as he hailed the handsome bartender, who was deftly handling a cocktail shaker as they walked by. "Hey Javier, tell my boy Sammy here that a sweet straight boy like him doesn't have anything to fear at this new club you told me about."

The sexy Latin barkeep gave Sam a onceover and a sweet smile. "No, nothing to be worried about, my friend." He gestured towards Sebastian, "I'm sure papi lindo here will take good care of you, that will be enough to protect you." He lined up a shot on the bar for Sebastian.

Blaine looked on with revulsion as Sebastian downed it and grinned back at Javier. "But what if he needs protection from me? He owes me some bodyshots but isn't too keen on paying his debts. Actually, maybe you could join us after your shift to help me get him on the bar?" He jerked a thumb at Blaine and Rob. "Sammy has charmed these two all week, so I can't rely on them to not submit to his pleas for help."

[](http://imgur.com/4CDcsX6)

"Well I do believe in everyone paying their tab," Javier winked good naturedly as he lined up more glasses. "So I'll see if I can round my boys up and come by."

…

"Dance with me," Blaine said with great effort, not just because the music and the crowd were loud. For one, the continued impact of restaurant tequila and multiple wine coolers at the club made lucid speech a challenge. Secondly, Sebastian was continuing to exude an irritatingly casual and snarky attitude that made Blaine want to interact with him less and less. But when "Sexyback" started, he couldn't help getting sentimental, thinking back to dancing in the Castro with Sebastian to that song.

Blaine waded his way through the crowd from Rob and Sam to where Sebastian was standing at the bar. He'd been drinking heavily, if one were to judge from the empty shots in front of him, and possibly drinking alone. He looked like he was brooding, and somewhere in Blaine's booze-adled brain he wondered why. But surely dancing together would cheer him up. He loved dancing with Sebastian. They were wonderful dancing together.

Sebastian waved him off with a shake of his head. "I'm too tired, you don't need me to babysit you, Little B." His green eyes looked serious, angry even. His voice seemed to be laced with meaning. "You'll do fine without me. I'll just watch you go forth and conquer."

Blaine looked at him with drunken confusion and had no reply, so he had to pretend he actually wanted to dance. He went back to drag Sam away from Rob towards the dance floor.

"I told you I don't want to dance," hissed Sam.

"You have to, Sebastian says someone has to 'babysit me'!" Blaine groused. He glanced back at Sebastian, only to find him he had vanished from his spot. His blood pressure rose when he spotted him sitting at a small table, talking with a very good looking man with dark, curly hair. "Shit, I can't believe him, he said he wanted to watch me dance! And he said he was tired! He's too tired to give me the time of day but he's not too tired to let that guy sit in his lap?! What a liar!"

Sam looked over at Sebastian and turned back to Blaine with narrowed eyes. "Okay, I know Sebastian's been acting like an smartass on and off all night, but that guy is not in his lap, they are just sitting next to each other. How drunk _are_ you?"

"I'm not that drunk!" Blaine said defensively, not slurring much at all. The music changed and a rumble of appreciation was heard through the crowd. _[Hear "Time is Running Out" by Muse on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]_ :

_I think I'm drowning_  
_Asphyxiated_  
_I wanna break this spell_  
_That you've created_

"Well maybe it's good he's not going to watch me dance." Blaine scowled. "Because I'm going to have more fun dancing with you than I ever have with him. He can flirt all he wants with that guy, because I'm going to dance all I want...come on!" He tugged at Sam.

Sam was uncomfortable, fairly inebriated, and annoyed. "I'm not going to dance with you when you're like this. You and Seb need to just talk to each other, I think you're both just worried about NYADA. Actually I'm not dancing here at all, it's only going to encourage Sebastian to avoid you more by pimping me out. Just talk to him. Or if you have to dance, get Rob to play your little games." Sam stalked away towards the bar.

Blaine looked around and cursed under his breath when he saw Rob had joined Sebastian and his handsome companion.

 _Fine. I'll just dance by myself._ Blaine took the last few steps to the edge of the dance floor and closed his eyes, letting the music move through him. The beat and the lyrics felt cathartic as he sang the song under his breath to himself and to Sebastian:  
__  
_Bury it_  
_I won't let you bury it_  
_I won't let you smother it_  
_I won't let you murder it_

Blaine let the music seep through his pores.

_Our time is running out_  
_Our time is running out_  
_You can't push it underground_  
_You can't stop it screaming out_

_Now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation_  
_You'd never dream of_  
_Breaking this fixation_

_You will squeeze the life out of me_

Blaine saw Sam had joined Rob, Sebastian and the handsome stranger. _Traitor._ He waved and gave them a cool smile.

_Our time is running out_  
_Our time is running out_  
_You can't push it underground_  
_You can't stop it screaming out_  
_How did it come to this?_  
Oh 

The song changed and Blaine found his mood lifted with that of the music. He really did love dancing in clubs. _[Hear "The Globe" on our_ _YouTube_ _or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]_

_Break it on down_

Suddenly he felt hands on his hips. He turned around hoping it was Sebastian, only to find a twenty-something, blond hipster giving him a charming smile. Blaine felt a little dumbstruck. The man was VERY good looking.

_Where are you going_  
_My beautiful friend_  
_Is this the road that_  
_We take till the end_

Blaine spotted Sebastian out of the corner of his eye, laughing the way he did when he was telling a good story. A second attractive stranger had joined the table. With Sam and Rob, that made four good looking men at the table listening to the story. Sebastian looked like he was holding court.

Blaine gave his dance partner a friendly smile as he kept dancing.

_Here we here we here we go_  
_Feel the fire_  
_Way down below_

Sebastian stood up to get another drink and his glance landed on Blaine. His body stiffened slightly. After a few attempts to look away, he just gave up and watched with a dark expression. Rob and Sam noticed and followed his gaze.

[](http://imgur.com/lRqmPus)

"Uh oh," Sam said under his breath.

Rob finished Sebastian's Stanford Big Game Week story for the new acquaintances.

_Come on dim the lights_  
_Switch on the strobe_  
_We're gonna have a ball tonight_  
_Down at the Globe_

_Get up and clean your teeth and have a shave_  
_It's 1 a. m. let's go out to a rave_  
_One more and before we hit that grave_  
_It's hotter than a microwave wave_

Encouraged by Blaine's shyly polite smiles, Blaine's partner danced closer and put his hands on Blaine's waist. Sebastian drew in a breath and forgot to exhale for a minute.

Blaine thought the only polite thing to do was to put his hands on his partner's shoulders. It was fun...until they turned to an angle where Blaine could see Sebastian now swigging his scotch...with a bored look on his face.

_Come on dim the lights_  
_It's party time_  
_Switch on the strobe_

_Do what you like_

_Gonna have a ball tonight_  
_Let's have a ball_  
_Down at the Globe_

Blaine's playful partner impersonated a partygoer from the song, making Blaine laugh:

_Where's the party officer?_

_Come on dim the lights_  
_It's party time_  
_Switch on the strobe_

_Do what you like_  
_Gonna have a ball tonight_  
_Let's have a ball_

_Down at the Globe_

Encouraged by his laughter, his partner whirled Blaine around and started grinding against his ass. Blaine danced immediately forward and away from him, politely trying not to make it obvious that he was disturbed. The man just followed his movement and Blaine danced away from him again. Their moves repeated, almost resembling a dance performance. They had moved a fair distance along the edge of the dance floor before Blaine felt the man's hard-on brush more aggressively up against his ass. He turned around, blushing as he was forced to make eye contact. He wagged his finger no, shaking his head with a polite smile as he danced a good distance apart.

Sebastian didn't notice Blaine's last move since he was shoving the small cocktail table aside and pushing past their new conversation partners to stride towards the dance floor. Rob and Sam followed quickly, apologizing to their companions and looking concerned.

Blaine felt a strong grip on his arm. "It's time to go before you embarrass yourself more," Sebastian growled, pulling Blaine away with a dirty glare to the now smirking dance partner.

"Hey, I was just having fun!" Blaine protested angrily. "Let go of me!" he tried to yank his arm free, but Sebastian gripped him like a vise. "I can't believe you, you don't touch me all night but now you're manhandling me?! And after you spend the whole night either barely looking at me or acting like a jackass, now you're judging me?!"

Sebastian couldn't even look at him as he dragged him across the room, Rob and Sam following at a short distance. "You looked ridiculous. I can't believe you let that slimeball grind on your ass," he complained. "Have some self-respect, Anderson."

Blaine kept struggling to get his arm free, increasingly frustrated. "As if you can say anything! I saw on Facebook that you danced just like that with guys in the Castro when Santana and Dani were visiting you."

Sebastian turned to bend and look more closely at Blaine, his breath smelling like scotch and frustration. "What? That was harmless! You said you were going to call me if you got upset by anything posted by the McKinley Muckrakers. Now that you're caught doing something worse, suddenly you're the Facebook police? You said I should feel free to do as much harmless flirting as I want!"

"Yes you can feel free! Flirt with every sleazy Tom, Dick and Harry you run into at every massage parlor, wanky restaurant bar or public bath we pass through! And so will I! That guy was harmless!"

Sebastian lost it. He stopped and let go of Blaine's arm angrily, turning on him to shout, "As if me talking to a couple of pretty boys is the same thing as you almost fucking that guy on the dance floor! You can do whatever the hell you want in Scotland or New York City with Hummel. If you want to throw yourself around and give a lap dance to every disgusting horndog you meet there, see if I care. But I'm not going to let you make me look like a fool while we're here!"

"He can't talk to him that way," Sam said fiercely to Rob as he stepped forward.

Rob held him back with a strained voice. "Wait, maybe they'll be able to work through it on their own."

Blaine's was undeterred, looking up at Sebastian with his hazel eyes were flashing. "I did not almost fuck that guy! Anyway, I can dance with who I want, how I want, 'it's a free country,' isn't it?" he mocked. "And you don't think I feel like a fool when you have to go and be in a...a…" Blaine spluttered as he looked for the words. "A 'look-at-how-hot-we-are' Instagram selfie with Jay EVERY SINGLE FREAKING WEEKEND?"

Sebastian stared at Blaine, speechless for a second before suddenly grabbing him by the waist and the back of the neck to kiss him ferociously and possessively. Blaine kissed back just as passionately for a moment before thinking better of it and struggling against him, finally pushing him away with a violent shove. Sebastian immediately stepped back toward him, looking like he was going to go back for more.

Rob's eyebrows raised and he let go of Sam's shoulder. "Now."

Sam was next to Sebastian in an instant, surprising him with a heavy yank on the shoulder that nearly took Sebastian to the floor. Sam let out a snarl no one had ever heard before. "Seb, you keep this up and you're gonna do something you're gonna regret. I know you don't want to hurt Blaine. And I know you definitely don't want me to hurt you."

Sebastian turned to look at him, his eyes still fiery and every muscle still tensed. "Sam, get your paws off of me - this is none of your business."

Sam just leaned in closer and growled, "Blaine getting yelled at is always going to be my business."

Blaine still looked angry but was also wary, his eyes darting between his closest friend and his lover.

Sebastian's teeth were bared as his eyes locked fiercely with Sam's. "Blaine doesn't need you to defend him. This is between me and him. If you treat him like he's made of glass, you'll just make him dependent on you and Tina and your whole passel of..."

Sebastian felt a steadying hand touch him gently on his other shoulder. "Seb. Let's go for a walk." He turned to look with frustration into Rob's calm blue eyes. His roommate continued speaking quietly in his ear. "I get it. But angry sex is not the answer and neither is taking Sam's head off. Let's cool off so you don't do anything you'll regret."

Sebastian glared back at Blaine before glancing back at his Rob's unwavering eyes that seemed to say, _It's okay. I got you._

After a few more seconds he forcefully shoved Sam's hand off his shoulder and stalked away, Rob striding quickly to fall into step with him.

As they headed to the door, Sebastian stole a look back at Blaine, who was also looking at him, hurt and frustrated. Sebastian looked grim as his chest grew heavy. He'd fucked it all up again.

…

When separate cabs got them back to their respective suites, Rob and Sam pushed their roommates into their respective beds without letting them even undress. Then they went into their bathrooms and texted each other:

_SAM: Has Sebastian cooled off?_

_ROB: Yeah. I think. For the most part at least. Is Blaine okay?_

_SAM: Yeah, I'm pretty sure.. Do you think we should make them talk to each other now that they've cooled off a little? My mom says never go to bed mad._

_ROB: I think your mom's advice does not apply to those as smashed as these guys are tonight._

_SAM: Good point. Blaine might throw up on Seb and that wouldn't help things._

...

Sam came out to check on Blaine while he was scrubbing his face with a washcloth.

Blaine had gotten out of bed and changed into his blue pajamas before crawling back under the covers. He wrapped himself tightly in the duvet and looked at Sam with blood shot eyes. "I really should not have let him pressure me into doing those shots. If he's really disengaging, giving up on us, on what planet would he be lured back by me grinding with some random stranger?! It's like my sloshed brain decided that we live in a trashy reality show!" He curled up and hugged another pillow. "I've ruined it, Sam. He was just trying to keep things light and was just talking to some cute guys and I went all drama queen on him. I bet he's going to fly back to California tomorrow."

"Okay, you weren't being a drama queen at the club, but you are now. He's not going to go anywhere, he loves you. And that fight wasn't all your fault. Yeah, Sebastian was trying to make it a fun night, but he was also being kind of an ass, pushing tequila, walkin' the line with all his chatting with other guys, and not paying enough attention to you. But you know what? I was thinking about it while I was brushing my teeth... the last time I saw him smirk that much was when we were with Nick, driving from Ohio to San Francisco. And the last time I saw him look that pissed was when you and Kurt were having coffee the next day at Christmas." He raised his eyebrows at Blaine.

After a moment of silence Blaine's lips parted slightly. "Oh."

"Yeah," Sam replied with a sympathetic smile. "You do the math."

...

When Rob came out of the bathroom, he found Sebastian staring up at the ceiling, still fully clothed, with his shoes still on. He didn't look like he had moved from the position Rob left him in 10 minutes prior.

Rob walked over to the space between their beds and sat down on his own. He took his time taking off his socks. Eventually he got under the covers.

A full minute passed in silence.

"Fuck."

Rob took a beat. "You're going to be fine."

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck."

…

_SEB: I'm sorry._

_SEB: You were just dancing, nothing very different than I ever do. I'm a hot-headed prick with a double standard. I hate that I yelled at you like that. I'm sorry._

_BLAINE: I'm sorry, too. I was feeling insecure and hurt and mad at you, but instead of talking to you about it, I got petty and let that guy go too far, right in front of you. That was really, really disrespectful. I hate that I yelled at you, too. Can I see you? Out in the hall or in the lobby?_

_SEB: Yes. I'm not in bed. I'm at the open mic night at the JW Marriott._

_BLAINE: I'll be right over._

…

When Blaine reached the bar next door he spotted Sebastian walking onstage, looking considerably more disheveled and still a little drunk. He sang with the house band for a good sized crowd, holding on to the microphone stand and swaying his hips with it in a hypnotic dance. _[Hear Seb's song, "Not Enough Time" by INXS, on our_ _YouTube_ _or Spotify Playlist, play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]:_

_And I was lost for words_  
_In your arms_  
_Attempting to make sense_  
_Of my aching heart_  
_If I could just be_  
_Everything and everyone to you  
_ _This life would just be so easy_

_Not enough time for all_  
_That I want for you_  
_Not enough time for every kiss_  
_And every touch and all the nights_  
_I wanna be inside you_

_We will make time stop_  
_For the two of us_  
_Make time stop_  
_And listen for our sighs_

_Not enough time for all_  
_That I want for you_  
_Not enough time for every kiss_  
_And every touch and all the nights_  
_I wanna be inside you_

Blaine stood to the side of the stage. He understood why a good number of sorority girls in the front rows looked moony eyed or lustful. Sebastian was at his sexiest singing this kind of song. Blaine would have been swooning a bit himself if his heart wasn't breaking a bit at the tragic look in Sebastian's eyes and the poignancy of his singing.

When the song ended, Sebastian stepped off the stage to find Blaine looking at him with a sympathetic and apologetic expression. In another second and without another word they were in each other's arms.

Sebastian held Blaine tightly, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I'm so sorry."

Blaine's heart broke open wider. "I'm so sorry, too."

They were jostled by the next performer passing them to go up on the stage. Blaine took Sebastian by the hand and they started walking across the room towards the exit. Sebastian's face was somber; Blaine's was worried. He'd smelled cigarette smoke on Sebastian.

After a moment Blaine looked up at him and said earnestly, "You sounded wonderful."

Sebastian's eyes were bleary. "Thanks. Sorry if it was depressing. I didn't mean for you to hear it, I thought you would take longer to get over here." He added with a wry half smile, "Usually it takes you much longer to get dressed and to shellac the gelmet on. You always over-gel when you're upset."

Blaine gave him a gentle smile and smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "You sound like Sam. And I'm not so upset now that I'm with you and we're both…"

"Not acting like idiots,"Sebastian finished for him. His words were light but his expression was neutral. The next act started and they stayed quiet until they were out the door.

Outside the air was warm and the sounds of a corporate pool party could be heard in the distance. Blaine led them to a bench along an expansive lawn overlooking the lake. Their hands parted as they sat down next to each other. Blaine sat down close, but not too close. He wanted to be able to see Sebastian's face well. But first, he took a deep breath and looked out over the silvery grass and moonlit waters. He thought about how a year ago he would have been excitedly thinking about how it was probably used for weddings. He turned to find Sebastian looking thoughtfully out on the water, too.

After a moment Blaine finally spoke up. "So, before you texted I was laying in bed doing some thinking about tonight."

Sebastian's hands gripped the bench a little tighter as he continued to look out at the water.

Blaine glanced at him before looking at the water again himself. "I think I figured out why I acted the way I did and why I was so angry with you. I think I was worried that you were starting to pull away from me, starting to lose interest. So my drunk brain thought I could get your attention by dancing with another guy and getting in a fight with you. Apparently tequila brings out the over-dramatic soap opera character in me."

Sebastian ignored the joke. He kept his eyes on the water as he said quietly, "I don't see how I could ever lose interest in you, B."

Blaine felt the tension in his body begin to fade. "That's so sweet. I guess I thought you might, after what happened this afternoon...you know, when we woke up from our nap. When I told you I didn't think we should…have sex. I'd never seen you so mad at me."

Sebastian's eyes widened and he finally turned to look at Blaine with concern. "B, I wasn't mad at _you_. I was just...frustrated with...our situation." He ran his hands through his hair and looked down between his knees. "Shit, I'm sorry I made you feel like that was your fault. Jesus, I didn't think there were any other ways for me to have jacked things up today with us. But there it is."

"You didn't _make_ me feel anything." Blaine said, reaching over to touch his arm. "That was my own insecurity, I guess. My therapist says that we can't help how we feel, we can only manage how we respond."

Sebastian was still looking down with his head in his hands. "Yeah. Your response was wanting to talk to me about it. My response was to abandon you." He covered his eyes with his hands. "I'm sorry."

Blaine reached over and patted his knee. "Look at me." He lifted Sebastian's chin up so he could look him in the eye. "You didn't abandon me. I was thinking about what happened and I remembered exactly what I said. I said, 'Do you want to talk about it?' I made it about you. I was too chicken to say, ' _I_ want to talk about this.' or ' _We_ need to talk about this later.' So that was my bad. I need to learn to tell you what I really want and not cop out and just do what I think you want. Otherwise it will back up on me like tonight."

"Ok, I get that but..." Sebastian nodded slowly and put his head back in his hands. "Damn, all this would be a lot easier to get my head around if I wasn't still a little drunk." He raked his long fingers through his already disheveled hair. "I get that you didn't tell me that you needed to talk. But I also didn't ask you what you wanted. I just took off to do my own thing, off on another run, distracting myself with Sam's haircut after I ran into him outside. That's still abandoning you."

"You went for another run in that heat?" Blaine patted him on the back. "Fine, yes it would have been nice if you had checked in with me about what I wanted to do, and how I was doing. But you were pretty worked up, more emotional than even I was. I actually think it was good that you left. You needed to cool off, you needed to take care of yourself first, and that's the right thing to do. I know you, when you need to blow off steam, you have to do something physical like running. If we had started talking right after we almost had sex, you would have just been ranting and raving and I would have been overly sensitive.

"But I should have followed up with you sooner if I needed more reassurance. But I kept telling myself to stop worrying, because you seemed like you were fine and like you didn't need to talk about it...so why should I? And Sam kept telling me you seemed okay and that there was nothing talk about…that we were going to be fine. But I guess in the end I should have admitted to myself that I needed to hear it from you."

Sebastian took a beat to take it all in before his expression grew dark again. "So you've been upset since this afternoon and I didn't notice. Fuck." He stood up and started to pace. "Ugh. I thought that when I didn't notice the extent of your loneliness last quarter it was because we were 5000 miles apart. Apparently you can be right under my nose and I can still be oblivious." He added more quietly, "I'm sorry."

"Oh Seb, you can't expect to read my mind. But I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry that I went all passive- aggressive on you again. I should have talked to you about it, instead of running off and being so...blatant with that guy." It was Blaine's turn to grimace.

Sebastian sat down and put his hand at the small of Blaine's back. "You were just dancing with him, it's not your fault that you always look like sex on a stick when you dance. And it's not your fault he was a creep."

Blaine gave him a rueful smile. "Thank you for that, but you forgive me anything. I kinda knew he was a creep and I danced with him anyway to make you jealous. I'm sorry again for being so petty and mean."

Sebastian patted him on the back for a moment but then stopped as he grew thoughtful again. "Wait, can we go back to the first thing? Were you worried I was losing interest in you because I couldn't have sex with you?"

"No!" Blaine said quickly. "Well, maybe yes and no. I guess I was worried that you were frustrated about the fact that I'm not ready to be boyfriends. And that includes not having sex, so I guess sort of. But I was more worried that you were tired of waiting for me to be emotionally ready. You know, because I'm kind of a mess of emotional baggage."

Sebastian looked at Blaine directly in the eye and said seriously, "No one, especially me, is in any position to judge you for having baggage. Everyone has their own shit to deal with. I'm sure if I started seeing a shrink they'd unpack a goddamned mess."

Blaine smiled tenderly at him and laid his head on his shoulder.

Sebastian was still serious, continuing in a matter-of-fact tone. "The difference between you and most of the rest of the population is that you actually recognize what issues you want to work at and you actually do something about it. The rest of us go around living with our heads buried in the sand. In the end, you'll be the one who comes out ahead."

"Only you could make my neuroses sound like some kind of advantage."

They sat in silence for a few more moments.

Sebastian spoke up again. "Well I'm glad that you didn't think that I was losing interest just because we can't have sex."

"Of course not, I know you would never give up on us just because of that," Blaine replied, reassuring both of them. There was a meaningful pause as they both took comfort in the words and in each other.

After a minute more, Blaine straightened up and pulled away, shifting to look Sebastian in the eye. "So okay, I understand now that when you left my room you weren't mad at me, per say. You said that you haven't lost interest in me or given up on us. You were more frustrated with our situation. But is that the only reason why you were distancing yourself from me? Even Sam noticed. All night, you didn't hold my hand or put your arm around me or even dance with me."

Sebastian looked guilty. "I was thinking about that, since you brought it up in the club."

"You mean I shouted it at you in the club," Blaine said with regret. "Again, I don't know why I didn't just talk to you about it, or just reached out and held your hand if I wanted to hold your hand. I promise to really work on telling you what I want."

Sebastian got up again and turned around to look down at Blaine, his green eyes rueful. "God B, I'm really sorry about that. Honestly, I wasn't doing that on purpose. I guess was just..." He looked away for the words.

Blaine's hands were in his lap and he cocked his head slightly to one side as he said patiently, "You were just...sad that we have to say goodbye in a couple of days? And maybe...trying to keep things light and fun, instead of focusing on the possibility of me living in New York for the next three years?"

Sebastian looked uncomfortable, crossing his arms and making a half turn to look out at the moonlit water. "Damn, was I that transparent? Fuck. It's definitely a good thing that I'm not going to be an actor."

Blaine got up to stand beside him and touch his arm. "Actually, you weren't transparent at all. Sam had to spell it out for me, and even he didn't figure it out until we'd all gone to back to the hotel and he had time to think it over."

Sebastian folded his arms even more tightly and continued to look at the lake. "Okay, so I should still audition for villain roles, but that doesn't change the fact that I was not even aware that I was neglecting you all night - and worse, that you thought I was neglecting you because I was feeling done with you."

Blaine stepped in front of him, effectively blocking his view of the lake. He put both hands on Sebastian's crossed forearms. "Hey. Look at me. You didn't neglect me. You were actually pretty focused on me, especially at the restaurant. You were just a bit misguided, focusing on celebrating and drinking with me and the guys, instead of cuddling me and trying to cop a feel every five minutes the way you usually do."

He had finally earned a very slight smile from Sebastian.

"Seb, it's okay. It was so sweet of you to try to focus on being happy for me. If you moped around, I would have felt guilty about being pleased to be admitted. It's a tough situation."

Sebastian's posture slumped even as his arms remained crossed. "You should be more than 'pleased,' B. You should be excited, that's the best goddamned school in the country for musical theatre. It lets in fewer students than Harvard every year. Don't let all my pathetic…" he glanced back at the water to look for a word, " _baggage_ spoil your good news."

Blaine tried to explain. "But it's not just you, Seb. I have misgivings about it, too. It's a great school, but it's a conservatory. UCLA and Tisch are broader university programs with academic components and general education requirements. You know I have a broader interest in learning more about the world than only theatre or even just the arts. Plus UCLA is near Hollywood, it provides other options to explore in acting. And...it's closer to you."

Sebastian's face was uncertain and he opened his mouth to say something, though he didn't know what.

Blaine spoke again. "Don't worry, I would never choose a school solely based on its proximity to a guy," He reached up and bopped his nose. "Not even a guy as wonderful as you. But, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't part of my thought process. That's how much you mean to me. So I guess what I'm saying is, I wish both of us had admitted that a part of us doesn't want me to go to NYADA, that we wish we could be in the same time zone. I think we both would have felt better, knowing that we weren't alone in feeling that way."

Sebastian nodded very slightly, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the nuances of the situation. His brow furrowed as he processed it all. "Sorry I didn't say anything. I guess..." he spoke slowly and almost ashamedly, "I didn't want to think about it." He paused, looking bitterly remorseful. He started to pace again. "I didn't want to think about 3000 miles...I didn't want to think about three more years…"

Blaine followed him, hands thrust in his pockets. "And you didn't want to think about me being in the same city as Kurt?" he suggested tentatively. "Because I promise you I…"

"Can we not talk about Hummel?" Sebastian interrupted Blaine with a pained, tired face. "Not everything has to come back to Hummel. I didn't act like a jackass because of him," he said in such an unconvincing manner that Blaine flinched. "I acted like a jackass because I didn't want to think about the fact that you won't be in my bed when I wake up on Monday. I didn't want to think about not being able to take you out on a real date whenever I want…" his face softened and grew slightly melancholy as he stared out at the lake again. "I didn't want to think about the fact that I won't be able to fly to NYADA on a Saturday night after a lacrosse game and be back in time for a case competition meeting at noon the next day. I didn't want to think about the fact that when I come home drunk from a party at midnight it'll be at 3AM in New York City and I'll know that wanting you to sing me a lullaby isn't a good enough reason to interrupt your eight hours of beauty sleep."

"You can wake me any time, Seb…" Blaine said sadly, his hazel eyes wet.

Sebastian shook his head and ignored his comment. "I didn't want to talk about all of that, but _you_ did. I should have known...that you would need to. I should have talked to you more about it. But I was burying my head in the sand again, I didn't want to think about it."

Blaine fell in love even more, every time he watched Sebastian try so hard at every new challenge of their relationship. The big hazel eyes were reassuring. "I hate thinking about it too, but we'll figure it out together. And it was so big of you, just wanting me to be happy and celebrate. I should have asked you more about how you felt and we could have just given you more space and time until you were ready to deal with it.

"And I should have told you about how I felt, instead of pushing it aside and letting it all build up in me like…" he stopped to chuckle at himself, "a volcano." He smiled into Sebastian's slightly puzzled face. "That's what my mom calls my dad when he lets his feelings fester until he explodes. Hah, everyone always tells me how much I'm like my mom - so of course the one trait I get from my dad is a one of his bad ones."

"You also get your ambition from him; and his hands, his eyebrows and his smile," Sebastian said quietly, his hands slipping into his pockets as he stepped further away.

Blaine looked at the retreating figure tenderly. "Aw, you noticed so much."

Sebastian let out a very faint sigh and turned around, illuminated by a swath of moonlight. "So, what now?" He scuffed his own expensive shoe with his other foot. "I can do whatever you want to do. We can cut off communication or keep talking, maybe set some guidelines again. You can keep any of my hoodies you have, or send them back to me if you don't want any of them…"

Blaine looked perplexed. "What are you talking about?"

Sebastian was matter of fact, still slouching downwards. "Next steps. What we should do next, now that this is over."

Blaine furrowed his brow and narrowed his eyes at him. **"** Now that what is over?"

Sebastian looked up, slightly puzzled by Blaine's tone. **"** You and me. That's where all of this is going, right?" His brow furrowed at Blaine's baffled face. "I'm a waste at this relationship thing, you went all passive-aggressive...so we had that huge fight. We've never had a fight like that before..."

Blaine looked at him with amazement. "Sebastian, that's crazy! If you give up every time you have a big fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer than — Ohhh!" His hazel eyes dawned with realization.

Sebastian's eyes also grew wider with growing comprehension. **"** Oh. So, we're not over?"

Blaine laughed heartily and came over to hug him. "You are so cute! No, no, it was a fight. You apologize, learn from it, and move on! It's nothing to freak out about."

Sebastian collapsed a little into Blaine's arms as he hugged him back. "Oh, thank god."

Blaine chuckled again and patted Sebastian's back with one hand and soothed the back of his neck with the other. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Sebastian smiled with relief into the curly hair before he whispered, "You're too forgiving. I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot. Or if you are, I'm an idiot, too. But it's going to be okay, we can be idiots together," Blaine smiled sweetly into his shoulder. He pulled away a bit to look at Sebastian, moving his arms down to encircle his waist. "Oh poor baby, that's why you were so sad. You thought our whole relationship had to end because of this fight! No wonder you had a cigarette!"

Sebastian looked guilty. "More like a pack," he admitted. "Ironic, isn't it, that after finals you said all I did was take care of you and it seemed like I didn't need you? Bet you didn't expect me to end up being so colossally, obnoxiously needy."

Blaine smiled at him sympathetically. "It does seem that the pendulum has swung a bit the other way. My mom was right, again."

Sebastian's voice was muffled as he rested his cheek in Blaine's hair. "Someday we'll balance things out more Babe, I promise."

Blaine shook his head as he took it all in, rubbing soothing circles on Sebastian's lower back and looking reassuringly up at him. "Don't worry about it. Just understand that we don't have to break up just because we made some mistakes out of hurt and fear. We just work through it and come out stronger. For instance," he reached around to pick up both of Sebastian's hands in his own, "now I know to just reach out and hold your hand when I want to, and not wait for you to do it."

Sebastian's small, fond smile appeared. "And now I know that I need to remember to hold your hand, no matter how bitter I'm feeling." He paused and let go of one hand to begin walking and guiding them towards their hotel. "Holding your hand does seem help almost anything."

"Always." Blaine smiled.

They had only walked a few steps when Sebastian spoke up with a dramatic roll of his eyes. "That may be the cheesiest thing I've ever said. You are ruining me, Mr. Anderson."

Blaine laughed. "That's right, one cheesey line at a time."

"But I'm addicted to you, so I'm doomed to become a cheeseball. Damn, what am I going to do?" Sebastian's mood was finally lifting again.

Blaine smiled sweetly him. "You can kiss me."

Sebastian gave him a warning look. "There's no way around the cliche that I taste like an ashtray when I've been smoking this much."

"I don't care tonight."

"I'll keep it chaste and close-mouthed, how about that?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

Sebastian smiled softly and stopped them next to a pillar of the covered walkway they were on. He leaned back against it and pulled Blaine into his arms for a kiss so full of gratitude and love that Blaine felt like they were starting to glow.

When their lips parted Blaine leaned his head against Sebastian's heart.

"If you tell Rob and Sam that I thought a big fight means you have to break-up, I will tell them about your Yahtzee kink."

Blaine chuckled. "No need to make threats. Just promise to quit smoking again."

"Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, and I bet some of you saw that we ripped straight from Friends again. Poor Seb, he has no clue about how the whole relationship thing works! Don't forget to leave a comment, even if it's just a few words to say "Hi! I'm still reading!" It's very motivating to hear from you, about the good, the bad...and well, that's it. Because all of our characters here are hot. :D Again, if you're getting too impatient and want to know spoilers, let me know! whatdiditellyouflawless . tumblr . com or TiburonWriter on the Glee Forum or tiburonwriter @ gmail . com


	32. Signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seblaine have a heart to heart about what it means to get down and dirty. Blaine gets some big news, and the guys go out to celebrate. Seb gets an unfortunate earworm and Seblaine karaokes to get rid of it. At the end of the night, it's anybody's guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lovely People:
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read and especially those who stopped for a minute or more and reviewed, I need feedback and motivation as we keep rollin through this epically (is that a word? I need an editor) long love story. I hope almost everyone is going to love this chapter, it's got a little bit of everything: fun fluff, comedy, bromantic moments, a teeny bit of angst and big time Seblaine action, including them being so gooey that they just might make cynics (not even just Klaine shippers) throw up. But you guys will want to roll around in it like it's a flowery meadow. Oh, and some of you will love the last few scenes! But not going to spoil you...
> 
> Thanks to Beta Badasses Dori, Cristina, Rose, Thomas, and a newbie who wants to beta but refuses to be spoiled, Harvey!
> 
> Tiburonwriter

Blaine stepped up to the balcony railing and closed his eyes to feel the fresh morning air before he looked out over the stunning view. The perfectly blue sky, artistically designed swimming pool, gorgeously landscaped grounds and sparkling lake were enough to make his breath hitch as he took it all in. To top it off, to his right the natural beauty of Shingle Creek lay in serenity. "I don't know why we haven't had our breakfast out here every morning since we've been here."

Sebastian sat behind him at the bistro table, looking up from his eggs and crepes and strawberries to survey the panorama with satisfaction. "I've been out here every morning," he said with a smirk. "I'm guessing most mornings you've been too busy tripping over your HogRats robe to get to the convention on time while I was sleeping in. The one morning I got you to stay here, I didn't want to let your sexy ass out of bed." He took a sip from an elegant porcelain coffee cup before setting it aside. "In fact, I think we need to head back to bed right now," he added as he pivoted in his seat to pull Blaine down into arms.

"We're going to break this chair!" laughed Blaine as he landed in his lap.

"I don't care, I'll get them another." Sebastian said as his lips slowly kissed a hot line from the back of Blaine's neck. He added in a sexy whisper, "I'd capture a kingdom for you, Blaine Anderson. I'd build you a castle." His hands untied Blaine's white bathrobe and inched with purpose inside. "I'd move mountains…" He pushed the robe slowly off Blaine's strong shoulder. "I'd swim seas." His fingers grazed over Blaine's chest as his lips returned to brush the birthmark on his upper back. "I'd wage wars for you, B." Blaine could already feel a rush of blood to his groin. He tingled at the feeling of Sebastian's hot breath on his skin as his lips roamed over his shoulder. His cock twitched and they hadn't even kissed yet.

Blaine stood up so he could turn around and straddle him, leaning in with a teasing smile as he untied Sebastian's robe. "All that, just for me?" he asked softly before his lip tugged on Sebastian's earlobe and nibbled on it. "I'd slay men for you, Sebastian Smythe." He opened Sebastian's robe and gazed at his lean, sculpted chest and broad shoulders for a moment in the morning light. "I'd brave storms...I'd cross deserts," he whispered, looking into Sebastian's eyes. "I'd conquer cities." He kissed along his soft, firm neck. "And I would go to the very end of the earth for you." Blaine couldn't stop himself from moving to touch the smooth skin below, his fingers tracing the smattering of beauty spots, causing a tiny shiver down Sebastian's spine as he closed his eyes.

Sebastian's hands slipped under Blaine's robe again and his eyes were lustful as he nudged it completely off this time. "Well, aren't we an ambitious pair of Dalton boys," he whispered with a rakish grin before capturing Blaine's lips against his own. "There's so much we'd do for each other."

"So much..." Blaine whispered into his mouth. A sweet kiss turned into one of tangled wet heat and want. "God Bas, I want you so much," he moaned as Sebastian's fingertips gently brushed a nipple. They kissed with increasing passion before Sebastian's tongue made a particularly evocative push that sent Blaine's hips thrusting down.

Their kisses grew more demanding and the friction wasn't enough even as Blaine wrapped his legs around the chair to press closer. Sebastian finally cupped the fullness of Blaine's ass and let out a sigh of satisfaction. "Fuck, B. Maybe…Maybe we could just do…" he thrust upwards at another push of Blaine's hips, "what boyfriends do..." He pulled Blaine into another kiss. "Just once." His breath was hot on Blaine's neck. "Or maybe," he said as his lips moved up to kiss Blaine's temple, "you would…" He paused and leaned his cheek on Blaine's hair before speaking again. "Maybe you should just do me the pleasure of becoming my boyfriend?"

Blaine was moving to kiss a freckle on Sebastian's chest when the words sank in and he froze. " _What did you say_?"

"I said, wake up!" Sebastian was rolling Blaine off his chest. "Get off me, Killer. We're careening off the point of no return."

Blaine was blinking and breathless, rolling onto his back as his eyes widened and he surveyed the still darkened suite. "Oh."

Sebastian propped himself up on the pillows and looked amused as he pulled away all the covers, save the sheet, to cool them off. He tucked a hand behind his head and pulled Blaine next to him with his other arm. "Yeah, 'oh.' I was awake and lying here innocently until you started in on me like a wolf." He added with a smirk , "Such a shame I don't have a snooze button. Then you could go back to doing that to me in your sleep every five minutes."

Blaine blushed. "Sorry. I just was having a dream that felt so real."

"That's because it _was_ part real," laughed Sebastian. "Believe it or not, you kissing my neck, feeling me up under my shirt, and rubbing your cock up on me does actually produce a real hard-on for both of us." He winked and added, "And you may or may not have felt my real hands on your ass."

Blaine's smile was sexy and sweet. "Well, you were a gentleman to stop me and wake me up."

Sebastian smirked. "Yes, either that, or Rob woke me up with a text before you started pre-fucking me and I know he's going to be back any minute. But I'll take the gentleman thing."

Blaine turned sideways to reach up and tweak his nose, glancing over at Rob's empty bed. "Okay, this is all making more sense now," He chuckled and gave Sebastian a quick kiss on the cheek. "Did you sleep okay? It looked like it when I got back last night. I kissed your cheek like five times to see if I could get a good night kiss from you, but you didn't stir an inch."

Sebastian combed his fingers through the dark curls. "Yeah, I slept like a rock. I finished _Breaking Bad_ and went to bed early like an old man. But I have zero regrets. I'm a different human than yesterday morning. I hadn't had a headache like that since last Halloween."

"Tell me about it. I practically hugged the convention juice bar guy to thank him for his magical smoothie hangover cure."

"And how was the rest of your final day at the Potter County Fair?"

"Awesome." Blaine paused and snuggled more closely as he reflected on the day prior. "Sorry my texts petered off. The closing ceremonies banquet was filled with crazy nonstop activity. Like this combination of soundtrack trivia and musical chairs at every table with excerpts from the songs...totally stupid but so hilarious." Blaine grinned at the memory.

"Was there dancing?" Sebastian asked, a little too casually.

"No, don't worry, you didn't miss anything _too_ good," Blaine said teasingly. "Just crazy skits and stuff." Then he climbed onto to Sebastian to hug him and lay his head on his chest. "I missed you, though. All day and all evening."

"I missed you, too." Sebastian answered quietly, rubbing the back of Blaine's neck. After a significant pause he added, "I think it's good we took a breather, though."

"Yeah," Blaine said, sounding thoughtful. "I ended up talking with Sam over lunch and dinner about everything...about you and me. I was telling him about how hard it is for us to think about the next three years, or even to just think about leaving tomorrow." His voice became more peaceful as he recalled the conversation. "Sam always has such a good attitude and perspective, though. He was reminding me to enjoy the moment and what I have. I think he learned that from the tough times he had with his family, when they were all homeless for awhile. Sam doesn't take almost anything for granted anymore."

Sebastian felt guilty as he thought about everything the Smythes had that the Evans family did not, and how he most certainly took almost all of it for granted.

Blaine continued, propping his chin on his hands to look into Sebastian's eyes. "You and I, we're so lucky to just have found each other, and to have the time and money to talk to each other and see each other as much as we do. We'll be okay, no matter where I go to school."

Sebastian nodded sagely. "It is what it is. Two valedictorians should be able to figure out how to make it work. It's not rocket science, is it?"

"It can't be. It's not simple though, so I'm lucky I have such a brilliant partner in all this." Blaine tapped him affectionately on the nose. He added serenely, "Sam and I started writing a list in my phone of other things and people I'm grateful for and it helped me get some perspective on things."

Sebastian tried to let Sam's advice seep into him. He had never been very good at counting his blessings, but he had gotten more practice at it since meeting Blaine. "Sam should go on that list," he said at last, in his matter-of-fact way.

Blaine smiled. "He is. He should go on both of our lists.. I don't think I told you that he was defending you left and right when I was being whiny and insecure about you the other night."

Sebastian's regard for their friend ratcheted up yet another notch as he considered just how dependable Sam's goodwill was proving to be.

Blaine saw the gratitude in Sebastian's eyes and his heart warmed. He added, "Rob should be on both of our lists, too."

Sebastian nodded slowly. "Yeah. If it weren't for him, Sam and I would have definitely gotten into it the other night at the club. And he texted me practically every hour yesterday morning." A small, amused smile appeared as he continued. "The messages were all pretty random, it was so obvious he was just making sure I wasn't drinking again."

"And then he sacrificed his afternoon convention sessions to go kayaking with you. By the way, the pictures you texted were amazing."

Sebastian nodded again, stopping to reflect on the day prior. "Yeah, it was worth the 45 minute drive to launch from that spot on the river."

The two roommates hadn't said much as they paddled, sunned themselves and picnicked on the river banks. Rob seemed to instinctively know that Sebastian would not want to talk much, nor would he care for any advice on how to come to terms with the recalibrated state of the union. For that reason, Sebastian didn't mind his quiet company.

Blaine wagged a playful finger. "You didn't make him do all the paddling, did you?"

"No, he made me paddle. I swear he has got eyes on the back of his head." Sebastian answered, looking amused at the memory.

Blaine let out a chuckle, imagining Sebastian with his hands behind his head in the back of the kayak and Rob prompting him to paddle without even turning around. "Well I'm glad you got out, and that you got to take a long swim in the morning, too. Exercise seems to do you so much good. You do your best thinking out there during your workouts and your outdoor adventures, don't you? We're so different that way."

"Mmm hmm," Sebastian agreed with a nod. "You have to think out loud with someone."

"Yes, though normally I prefer that someone to be you," Blaine said fondly.

Sebastian smiled back at him and put his hands on Blaine's waist as they kissed with warm affection. He patted Blaine's ass and smirked. "I'm here for you in more ways than one. Any time you need me in another dream, just find me in the dark again."

Blaine smiled and tweaked his nose before rolling off of him. He didn't want to risk getting carried away again, with both of them just coming around to a better mood about everything.

"I know, I know, stop touching your ass, we should be careful about dreams and reality today, blah, blah, blah," Sebastian said with a crooked grin. "Well at least come closer." His strong arm pulled Blaine nearer and back onto his side.

Blaine smiled and snuggled against him as he mused, "What do our dreams represent? Our subconscious telling us what we really want?"

Seb looked at the ceiling and looked thoughtful. "I read an article about it once. There are literally like eight schools of thought about it. But yeah, Freud thought they are a representation of our unconscious desires, motivations."

Blaine looked up at him a teasing smile. "Well, in my dream just now you said 'maybe we should do what boyfriends do, just this one time.'"

Sebastian look down at him and chided, "Okay Hottie, in this area you have to remember that I can dish it out but I definitely can't take it. Don't go baiting me unless you're ready to be caught." He pinched Blaine's cheek.

Blaine smiled at him. Then he turned on his back to lay his head back on Sebastian's upper arm and shoulder. He let out an almost imperceptible sigh.

Sebastian didn't miss it. "A g-note for your thoughts, Killer."

Blaine looked serious. "I was just thinking about us. I was talking to Sam about our teasing, baiting, frustration all week. Have we been crazy, not having sex? And I want you to answer that with your head and your heart, not with your libido."

"'Libido,'" Sebastian chuckled at the word. "The Always Dapper Mr. Anderson. You mean, 'don't let my dick do the talking.'"

Blaine laughed. "Exactly."

Sebastian's eyes twinkled. "Well that's a challenge any time I'm in bed with you, but I'll give it a go." He raised his eyebrows and looked sideways in contemplation before continuing. "I actually have been thinking about it too, on and off since the first day we got here. I even talked with Rob real quick about it." He paused to smirk. "I know, you're shocked I could talk about relationship stuff with someone else besides you."

"Aww, not really. It does makes sense, if you were going to talk to anyone about it, it would be Rob."

"Mmm," Sebastian thought of Jay but chose not to say anything about it. "Rob said 'sex means different things to different people.' And for me, sex means something different now than before we slept together. Sex with you, at least. Not that there's anybody else. I just mean I don't know if…"

Blaine held back a laugh and smiled softly at him. "It's okay, I get it."

"Damn, I still suck at this." Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay, sex with you was different not just because it made me feel...closer to you, but also because I guess sex is kind of a way to..." Sebastian hesitated and looked out the window. "I guess it's kind of a way to show you…"

"A way to show me how much you care?" Blaine asked gently.

"Yeah," Sebastian said, feeling a bit foolish for tripping over himself to just state the obvious. "Okay, I really sound like a relationship moron right now. I was better at this the night we went karaoking."

Blaine's mouth quirked to one side. "Huh, I guess you were. It really is impressive, how articulate you are about your feelings when you're frustrated. It's kind of interesting…for most people it's just the opposite."

Sebastian continued, still looking a bit awkward as he stared up at the ceiling. "Anyway, yeah, so sex with you wasn't just a way to show you that I appreciate you and it's not just a way to take care of you. And it's not just a way of making you feel good. More than anything...it's the best way I know to… communicate...how I feel about you."

A very faint blush was creeping down Sebastian's neck and he was glad Blaine wasn't facing him to see it. "I mean, weren't we just talking about how I'm more a physical than verbal when it comes to emotional stuff? Like when I'm pissed off I need to go for a run or sing or at least get outside and walk... So in the same way, having sex with you is the most natural way for me to...do something. To communicate how much I care about you. To show you that you mean...a lot to me." _To show you that you that I love you,_ he thought. Sebastian's face was a little flushed again - he was feeling very exposed.

Blaine's heart melted some more. He turned to give Sebastian a loving kiss. "You mean a lot to me, too."

Sebastian kissed him back with gratitude. After a moment of letting Blaine rest his cheek on his, he spoke pragmatically. "And how about you, Killer? Shall we compare notes?"

Blaine looked at him appreciatively but then sighed. "I guess like you, sex means a lot of things to me...I don't know." He gazed up at the ceiling and thought, _and it meant something different with Kurt than it does with you...it just felt different_. Blaine felt confused at the idea, but pushed it away to focus on Sebastian.

"Sex with you was unbelievably wonderful. It's kind of overwhelming to try to figure out what it all meant to me. I mean, I certainly got swept away in the emotion of it at times, but at other times we were also just so playful and...white hot…" His blush made Sebastian smile. "And when it was like that I don't think a single romantic thought entered my mind.

"So maybe we should just focus on that kind of sex?" He looked up with a naughty smile for Sebastian. "I mean, there's no denying that we felt emotionally closer after we had sex, but we had at least five kinds of sex, depending on how you slice it."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Please don't tell me you cross-referenced and catalogued all of this on index cards."

Blaine ignored him and barreled forward. "But maybe it wasn't even the sex that made us feel closer? Maybe the sex felt so emotional because we finally admitted our feelings to each other right before the sex? I mean, maybe sex feels emotional because of emotions you feel about the person already, not the other way around?"

Sebastian looked amused. "So it's like a chicken or the egg situation? Maybe sex doesn't make you more emotionally connected, it's just something you do _as a result_ of becoming more emotionally connected to someone?"

Blaine twisted his mouth to one side. "Exactly. But how can we know which it is?"

Sebastian shrugged. "We can't. We both have no clue what we're doing here. There is not one bit of wisdom from either of our past lives that translates to our current situation."

Blaine sighed, thinking of Kurt again. "I guess you're right - we don't know how we're going to feel exactly. So maybe we should be conservative, again."

"OR," Sebastian raised his index finger. "Let's consider this idea that I pondered yesterday on the river. We're worried that sex is going to make us feel closer to each other and more like boyfriends, right?"

"Yes..." Blaine furrowed his brow, trying to figure out where Sebastian was going.

"Well I don't know about you, but this week has made me feel closer to you anyway. I mean you taking care of my fever…"

Blaine started to nod his head. "And us getting through that fight and coming out feeling stronger…"

"And you taking care of me after my shitty day with that rental car…"

"And you playing quidditch and going to the Potter Ball to make me happy..." Blaine smiled.

"And getting a moment of quiet at Shingle Creek..." Sebastian trailed off to consider the matter. "Maybe us holding up sex is just a pointless way of trying to control feelings that are happening anyway?" Sebastian's tone was one he used in case study prep sessions at Stanford.

Blaine sighed. "Yeah, but how do we know if sex is going to make us feel more than we already do?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air. "Search me." He lifted Blaine's chin. "I feel like we're talking ourselves in circles. But buck up, little camper. Let's not let all this junk ruin our last day together. We should just stew on all of this stuff and revisit it later." He leaned over and to give Blaine a teasing kiss. "Or we can stop thinking and throw some dice or flip a coin at the end of the day. Or..." he climbed on top of Blaine and kissed him passionately. "Or...we just go with our gut, our hearts, our feelings, whatever you want to call the stuff that makes me want to yank my own hair out when it's 2AM and I miss you and you're 5000 miles away."

Blaine, now breathless and smiling, pulled him back down for another kiss. It was his turn to not have any words.

Sebastian kissed his neck and looked up to give Blaine a provocative look. "Maybe we just do what we feel…"

The suite door opened. "Good morning, fellas...hope I am interrupting something," Rob called, chuckling as he crossed the living room and saw his two friends in an intimate embrace on the bed. He tactfully turned his back to them, taking his time as he drew open the curtains while Blaine and Sebastian untangled themselves from each other. He added dryly, "Let me tell you, Seb - being the fifth wheel is exactly what I wanted to do on spring break...it's so much fun. But at least I have decent bagels from down the road." He held up a bag as he came to sit on his bed, pulling out a bottle of juice and a foil wrapped bagel before throwing the bag at his companions.

Sebastian rolled off Blaine and laughed. "That's it, Killer. Nina would say Robbie coming in the middle of my pathetic case for 'doing what we feel' is a sign that we shouldn't sleep together."

Blaine chuckled too. "A sign?"

"She's French and Catholic and thinks god can be seen in everything. That there are signs everywhere…"

"Ohhh...like in that Matthew Perry movie. The one with Salma Hayek," Blaine said with a smile. "Remember?"

Rob said, "Seb's seen that chick flick? Oh man, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to hold back from telling the dorm crowd about that."

"You'll hold back once I remind you with several painful reasons." Sebastian threw a pillow at him. "Hey, I thought you said you were going to be back awhile ago?" He glanced at the clock. "You're never late for anything...what held you up? Aren't you supposed to be on cockblock patrol?"

Rob grinned. "I am, and I'm doing a bang-up job. You guys didn't have sex, right? So my plan worked. You weren't going to do it if you thought I'd walk in at any minute," he said with a knowing smile.

Blaine chuckled. "Smooth…" he said with a congratulatory smile.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to concede defeat. "Touché."

Rob still looked wise as he stood up to cross the room to the suite door. "I'm going to go see if Sam's awake. I'll be right back. Like in a minute. And I mean it this time." He winked at them before turning to exit the bedroom.

Sebastian shook his head with begrudging respect as his roommate let the suite door click shut behind him. "He can be such a cheeky asshole."

Blaine chuckled as he got up to get a bottle of water. "You're the one who said what he really is, he's a sign that we shouldn't have sex."

Sebastian's eyes grew predatory as he watched Blaine walk across the room, his pajama pants clinging in the right places. "But how hot your ass looks right now is a sign to the contrary!"

The door opened and Rob and Sam came in. Sam was smiling and walking with one hand on Rob's shoulder and the other hand over his own eyes. He called out overdramatically, "Put your clothes on, step away from the bed! Put your hands up and drop the condoms! It's time to stop the madness!"

Blaine and Rob laughed appreciatively while Seb called, "You're mixing cliches, Sammy. And we don't use condoms, even though I'm sure you guys must understandably think that's idiotic."

Sam grimaced but his crooked grin appeared as he crashed on the bed at Sebastian's feet.

Sebastian tossed the last bagel and bottle of juice at him. "You must be tired, Trout. You had a long day yesterday after having to police my drunk ass the night before." His words were casual but his eyes were steady and his mouth twisted to one side.

"I'm sorry too, Seb." Sam said reassuringly as he reached up and patted Sebastian's calf. "And I'm glad you and Blaine are all good again."

Sebastian flopped forward to pat Sam's shoulder before looking through the bedroom door. Blaine was at his laptop in the suite's living room. "Killer, come over here so we can show Sammy how we kissed and made up the night before last! Actually, come have sex with me, maybe we can make him faint!" When he didn't get an answer, he called out again. "What are you doing? Get your sweet ass over here!"

Blaine looked up with a tremulous smile on his face. "I was just logging into the admissions websites for UCLA and Tisch - today was the big day. I got into both, and UCLA gave me a scholarship. A full ride!"

"YES!" Sam rolled on his back and punched two fists in the air.

"That's so great, Blaine!" Rob came over to pat him on the back.

Sebastian didn't have any words for once. He just slid out of bed as a proud smile spread over his face. His eyes locked with Blaine's, who had started towards him. In two strides they collided and Sebastian picked Blaine up off his feet as he hugged him, spinning him around like a child before letting him touch the floor again for a congratulatory kiss. Then he pulled him close again, pressing a cheek against the curly head and saying in a proud voice, "You earned it, Babe."

"Are you going to take your time to decide where you're going?" Rob asked, glancing at Sebastian.

"Yes," Blaine said with a happy but slightly overwhelmed look on his face. "They are all top ten programs but UCLA is ranked the lower because it's the newest program and it's in LA. But the scholarship brings it up at least equal to NYADA and Tisch. And of course it's closer to you two."

"That's sweet of you to pretend I factor into this equation," Rob ruffled Blaine's hair.

Sam inquired, "But Blaine, your parents could pay for UCLA, why does that matter so much?"

Blaine said with a self-conscious look at Rob, "Yeah, they would... but it would mean a lot to me personally to pay for the rest of college myself, to start out on my own two feet after such a crazy expensive start to my college years: losing my deposit at NYADA, the cancelled wedding, the international expenses and tuition."

He looked up at Sebastian, whose arms were still holding him tightly around the waist. "Is that stupid? What do you think about all this?"

Sebastian looked at him mildly. "It's not stupid. But it doesn't matter what I think. It's your decision to make, B." He leaned down to kiss him reassuringly. "And like Rob said, take your time and don't worry about it yet. You have at least a month to decide, right? Talk to some people, read some more, go visit the schools again if you can, and let the whole thing gel in your head for at least a week. For now, let's just celebrate. Really celebrate, not like the other night. This time I promise to not avoid you like the emotionally disabled or distract myself by flirting like a two-bit man-slut."

Rob, Blaine and Sam laughed. Then the wheels in Sam's head were turning. He jumped up and started bouncing on his toes. "Forget golfing at that snooty club today…" His voice changed into a high, dramatic tenor: "When you wish upon a star…"

Rob joined him in harmony: "Anything your heart desires will come, to you…"

Rob continued to hum as Sam morphed into his best commercial announcer's impression. "Blaine Devon Anderson, you just got into the three of the top musical theatre programs in the United States! What are you going to do next?!"

Blaine's head was on Sebastian's shoulder, but he grinned and turned his head towards Rob and Sam: "I'm going to Disney World!" Then he stopped short and pulled away to look up at Sebastian with questioning eyes. "You'll go?"

"Of COURSE we're going to Disney World," Sebastian said indulgently, kissing the top of the curly head again and rolling his eyes. "Lord help me."

…

"Your admission into Tisch? That's a sign we shouldn't sleep together. Your admission to UCLA? That's a sign we can. Or is it the other way around?" Sebastian said to Blaine in the Star Tours line. "Though it probably doesn't matter, Sam luring you to go to Disneyland is a sign that we shouldn't have sex. Nothin' sexy about The Mouse."

Blaine gave him an amused look even as he shook his head and shushed him. "Stop talking about sex, there are children everywhere!"

"Yes, which means it's our duty to set a good example for these little buggers. This country is too sexually repressed and the young gay boys need to see that their fantasies are not a sin. We should talk the talk and walk the walk as role models." Sebastian pulled Blaine into his arms and planted an affectionate kiss on his lips.

"AHEM!" They turned to find a red-faced, portly man behind them in line giving them an annoyed look.

Sebastian's eyes narrowed and Blaine pulled at him forcefully to catch up with Rob and Sam, who were deep in conversation about Obi Wan Kenobi.

Sebastian was more than a little disgruntled. "That guy's a fucking homophobe, these touristy places are always crawling with them and I can smell their stink a mile away."

Blaine shushed him as the man caught up with them in line, or at least came closer. "I know, but let's not make a scene," he said, patting his shoulder to pacify him.

"He'd be the one causing the scene. Look at him," Sebastian said in disgust. "He doesn't even want to stand too close to us. Probably petrified he'll catch the gay virus."

Blaine took Sebastian's hand and squeezed it soothingly. "Don't let him ruin our day."

Sebastian finally took a breath and looked into the hazel eyes, letting Blaine's loving expression calm him. "Okay, okay, but only because we're celebrating. I won't let him ruin it for us..." His expression became sly. "I'll just take him as a sign that we SHOULD have sex. In front of him." Blaine chuckled and rolled his eyes. Sebastian gave him a half smile as he added mischievously, "Come on, at least a handjob in front of that moron?!"

"What moron?" Sam asked, as he and Rob gave them their attention.

"The gay-hater over there," Sebastian said, jerking a thumb behind him.

"He givin' you trouble?" Sam looked stern.

"I want to give _him_ trouble," growled Sebastian.

Rob gave him a warning look. "Take it easy, Gangster. There's a Disney person right there." He lifted a chin towards a "cast member" nearby. "Remember Six Flags? This guy can't be worth getting thrown out of the park for, Seb. And remember how long you had to ice your fist?"

Blaine tried to redirect Sebastian's attention with a playful look of mock-suspicion. "Wait a minute, why haven't I heard this story? You embarrassed that you forgot everything I taught you about how to throw a punch without hurting yourself, pretty boy? And more importantly, who were you kissing at Six Flags?!"

Sebastian glared at Rob. "I didn't kiss anyone, some goon just overheard Jay talking about a club we went to in the Castro and basically asked for it. Had the fucking nerve to tell us to not talk about our disgusting 'fairy' lifestyle in public. Apparently proximity to San Francisco does not decrease the prevalence of bigots."

"Jeez, he really did ask for it." Sam's eyes were sympathetic. "What happened? Was there blood?"

Rob was unruffled by Sebastian's dirty look, but also respected his roommate's objection to sharing the story. "Not quite." He looked at the park map to tactfully change the subject. "Do you guys want to stay for the fireworks? They start at nine thirty." His gentle smile grew warmer as he looked over the rest of the map. "I gotta say, spending a little time with Mickey is kind of refreshing after Harry Potter immersion all week."

"Yep," Sam said grinning. "And here we get Indiana Jones and Star Wars!"

Sebastian closed his eyes and knocked his head repeatedly on Blaine's shoulder. "Kill me now. If he buys a bullwhip or a light saber I may run screaming to the parking lot."

"He already has both, silly." Blaine said mirthfully as he leaned to look over Rob's shoulder at the map. "If Sebastian doesn't flee the premises, can we go to Fantasyland next? I don't feel like I've really arrived at Disney World until I go on a ride there. We have to go on the _Teacups, Snow White, It's a Small World, Dumbo..._ "

Sebastian's head popped up to tease, "Dumbo? It doesn't bother you that they slashed a gaping hole in the flesh of your beloved elephant to squeeze in overweight tourists and their sweaty children? Really Killer, if you're going to fanboy over an elephant, at least make it Babar."

Blaine sniffed at him. "You and your French snobbery. If you don't want to fly Dumbo with me, you don't have to. You can go ride on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, that is probably more your speed." He pulled away, making a minor attempt to struggle with Sebastian, who was trying to kiss him.

"I always liked Peter Pan the most," Sam said with a nostalgic expression on his face. "Great music, and you get to fly above everything in the flying pirate ship. Plus the mermaids..." he waggled his eyebrows.

Sebastian looked reflective. "We did Peter Pan in Paris at my elementary school."

"You were Hook," his three friends said simultaneously.

"I was Pan! What a bunch of cynics you are. I was a boy of 11 and I was of course the star," Sebastian tilted his nose in the air. "We did Disney's Robin Hood the next year and I played Robin Hood in that, too. Complete with sexy British charm."

"That's a shame, too. You really would have been dead-on as Prince John," Rob remarked thoughtfully. "Oh, Mummy!'" he imitated, before Sebastian smacked him on the side of the head.

Sam cocked his head. "Dude, I'm pretty sure Robin Hood in a Disney cartoon is not supposed to be sexy."

"You can't blame us, you love playing the villain now," Blaine said, patting Sebastian's cheek. "I just thought you were the scene stealer." He turned around to face Sam, though he stayed in the circle of Sebastian's arm. "Peter Pan was Cooper's favorite ride, too. I have so many good memories of our time together here; we came every year, sometimes twice a year."

"I can only imagine Coop here, he must have been like Mickey Mouse on amphetamines," Sebastian said with amusement. "Disney World is like his naive heath. He even played Prince Charming in a Disneyland parade once, right?"

"That's right," Blaine said with fondness. "But he wasn't asked back for a second stint." He added with a roll of his eyes, "He thinks it's because he pulled focus from the princesses."

Sebastian turned Blaine around again and murmured in his ear. "It's because they realized that if they wanted Prince Charming, they got the wrong Anderson brother." Blaine nuzzled his nose into Sebastian's cheek before giving him a kiss.

"Excuse me, can you move forward?" The rather stiff voice came from a stout woman was now standing in front of the man they had encountered earlier.

"Oh pardon us," Sebastian drawled, pulling Blaine against his chest and leaning down to kiss his neck noisily. "Just getting a little carried away here with my _husband_."

Rob and Sam snickered while Blaine's eyes widened as he braced himself for trouble.

The woman's face brightened. "Oh, are you guys married?! How fabulous! What state are you from? My husband's sister and her wife had to drive all the way to Illinois to get hitched!" she beckoned to get the attention of the red-faced man. "Steve! I know you're tired and impatient about gettin' on the ride but we might as well make friends while we're waitin.' This is…" she looked questioningly at Sebastian.

"Sebastian," he supplied, looking a bit stunned.

"He and this little feller here are married!"

Steve came over with a gentle smile on his face. Rob and Sam held back laughter as they watched Sebastian make up a story about his marriage to Blaine in Vermont.

Blaine whispered in Sebastian's ear as he patted his ass during their conversation with the new acquaintances. "It's a sign. We have to sleep together to support gay marriage."

...

"Hey Seb!"

Sebastian looked up to see Sam taking a photo. "Delete that!" he demanded.

Sam shoved the phone in his pocket. "Why? I'm just documenting our happy day in the Magic Kingdom!"

Sebastian lurched for him. "Don't think I won't go into your shorts for it."

Sam twisted out or reach, hiding behind Rob and grinning. "Oh come on, you don't look nearly as green as you did a half hour ago!"

"Maybe he is less bothered by his post-Teacups pallor and more disturbed by the photographic evidence that he is at an all-you-can-eat Disney buffet," chuckled Rob.

Blaine slid their four trays on the rail and pulled at Sebastian's sleeve. "Hey, let's go, there are hungry people behind us!" He leaned to squeeze Sebastian's waist and kiss him on the cheek. "Leave Sam alone, you looked cute for that picture. Let's just get our food and sit down, you'll feel better once you get something in your stomach besides frozen lemonade."

Sebastian grumbled, but complied and followed Blaine in line.

"I appreciate you eating here for my sake. I know the food's not great but I'm nostalgic about it. Cooper and I ate ice cream here five times a day when we stayed here every year."

"This buffet is a key reason why I did not want to stay at a Disney hotel." Sebastian said as they paid for their food.

Blaine led them to an empty table. "Oh, we wouldn't have stayed here. When we were little this was the fanciest hotel around, but now it's just a mid-range one. I bet you'd enjoy some of the five star resorts they've built."

"Nope. They probably still have Donald Duck imprinted on the toilet paper or something."

While they settled themselves at one end of a large table Sebastian cautioned, "I hate to break it to you, but even though we're at the holy land of all things cheesey and Disney, I'm not going to eat the same piece of spaghetti with you."

Blaine pouted at him. "I think I'm going to buy some mouse ears for you, you need them."

As they finished lunch, Rob and Sam went to get dessert. Blaine and Sebastian were sipping their drinks and looking affectionately at each other when they overheard a young Latina woman raising her voice at the next table. She gestured her arms wildly and said, "Oh my god, you are overthinking this!"

Her blonde friend raised her voice as well as she gathered the remnants of her lunch on her tray. "Olivia, if I go there with him again it's only going to make things harder. When spring break is over we'll blink and June will be here and he'll be off to Maine! He's my best friend and I don't want to mess this up. He could end up being THE ONE! I don't want to screw this up by starting things up at the wrong time. We'd get serious right away because we've been close for so long already, but then you know the long distance thing would be crazy to try to do. Plus, he's not totally over Monica."

Sebastian and Blaine looked at each other with amused expressions.

Olivia retorted as she finished clearing her own lunch, "They broke it off A YEAR AGO! Live in the moment, girl! What if we get on the road tomorrow to go back to school and get hit by a bus? You two are too hot together not to have done some Spring Break Whoo-hooing before you die. And if you guys are meant to be, it will all work out, distance or no distance."

"You're crazy," the blonde laughed as they left their table.

Sebastian and Blaine were chuckling as well. "Live a little, golden-haired damsel!" Sebastian raised a glass to her retreating figure. "Listen to your friend, don't be afraid of a little spring break whoo-hooing!"

"When did that become a verb?" Blaine laughed, clacking plastic glasses with him. He looked up at Sebastian through his lashes as he sipped on his soda straw. "Maybe we should listen to such sound advice and take this eavesdropping episode as a sign." He raised his eyebrows and gave him a meaningful look.

Sebastian chuckled at him. "I can't believe you are trying to lure me into bed by wrapping your lips seductively around a bendable plastic soda straw." He crossed his arms and smiled with amusement as he studied Blaine's coquettish expression. "Okay, maybe it was a decent play, the pout of your lips, reddened by that sparkling Hawaiian Punch…"

Blaine repressed a guffaw and struggled not to spit out his soda.

Sebastian smirked at him. "But as impressive as I find your attempt to be sexy in this godawful dive of a cafeteria, it's just too hard to get the picture of Goofy printed on the side of your plastic souvenir cup out of my sight line."

Blaine looked playful. "What if I play footsie with you?" He extended a foot, feeling for Sebastian's leg.

Sebastian laughed outright at the scrape of Blaine's sneaker before maneuvering his long legs out of the way. "It's a pretty wide table, B. Designed to accommodate fat and sunburned red state families. But keep reaching, I'll be here all night. Let give me a tip, though: usually foot flirting works better when you're wearing loafers you can slip off so you can actually feel the calves and thighs of the object of your affection. If you keep this up I'm going to have Izod boat shoe tread marks on my shins."

He reached over and patted Blaine's cheek fondly. "Anyway, young Barbie told her friend that sleeping with her BFF was a crazy idea, so I don't think she's going to be jumpin' her boy's bones. So I don't think that's a sign for us." Sebastian sipped his iced coffee contemplatively. "Hard to blame her...she did have a valid argument. It's pretty much what we decided, after all. The distance, they were best friends first..." He stuck out his lower lip. "So I think her presence here has more in common with our run-in with Kelly the Karaoke waitress than say, if the housekeeping manager came to our table and gave us the key to a linen closet upstairs for me to fuck you blind in."

"SHHHH!" Blaine blushed.

Sebastian was getting up, saying briskly, "Now let's get out of here. I can't stand the stench of these places. Hey Rob-o!" he hailed his roommate, who was returning with a tray of pie and ice cream. "We're done. We'll wait for you in the lobby." He picked up Rob's spoon as Sam and Rob sat down, quickly scooping a generous amount of ice cream and devouring it.

"Seb, for the last time…get your own dessert!" Rob groused. "I swear, next time you lay a finger…"

"Whoa, don't mess with Rob's soft-serve!" chuckled Sam.

Sebastian smirked and pulled Blaine out of the cafeteria.

They looked carefree as they held hands walking down the brightly decorated corridor to the lobby. To Sebastian's puzzlement Blaine suddenly pulled them towards a large potted tree against one wall. The bright hazel eyes looked furtively around before he slipped behind the broad trunk and hanging branches, drawing Sebastian out of sight with him. Before Sebastian could get a word out, Blaine pressed him up against the wall and kissed him long and hard. Lips and tongue and sexual aggression made their hearts pound and their hips push as blood rushed to their cocks. Sebastian's hand found its way beneath Blaine's waistband in search of soft skin. Blaine had one hand on the back of Sebastian's neck to push his tongue more deeply into his sweet mouth while his other hand pushed under his t-shirt to rub his chest.

When they finally parted for air Sebastian smiled, speaking in his low voice, "What brought that on, Killer?"

"You talking about fucking me blind in a linen closet," smiled Blaine. "Plus I still think that girl's friend had a few good points." He gave Sebastian a sexy look while his deft fingers brushed under the back of his t-shirt. "There's something to be said for living in the moment, enjoying each other while we can…"

Sebastian chuckled and put his arms in front of his face as a shield. "Don't give me your bedroom eyes, I'm powerless against them!" He struggled with Blaine briefly before giving in with a beguiling look. "You've got me, I am your prisoner, I surrender." He put his arms around the tiny waist and kissed him again. His hand came down to grab Blaine's ass and he smirked, "Carpe diem, Babe."

Blaine blushed and jumped a little. "Seb! I wanted to be out of the way here, but do you think kids can't see us behind this tree if they wanted to? There are plenty of holes between the branches!"

"So you groping under my shirt is okay, but I can't grab your award-winning ass? Or is it that you don't want to be seen with me?" Sebastian laughed wickedly, dragging a smiling, mystified Blaine across the lobby to the front desk. "Hi," Sebastian said politely to the clerk. "Do you rent rooms by the hour? The name is Mr. Smith, and this is Mr. Jones. And if you're busy, we don't necessarily need the full hour. We could do twenty minutes in a pinch."

"Sebastian!" Blaine exclaimed, apologizing to the surprised clerk and hurrying them away.

They were both laughing heartily, but in the wink of an eye Sebastian was looking mischievous again and before he knew it, Blaine was being whisked toward a nearby door.

"What the..." Blaine asked before he glimpsed the mens room sign on the door as they entered. "Seb! This is not Scandals!"

"What? If we can't get a room, a stall will have to do," laughed Sebastian.

"For what?" came two voices. Sebastian and Blaine turned and stopped short in front of a smirking Sam and Rob next to the sinks, standing shoulder to shoulder with their arms crossed.

Sebastian gave them an innocent smile and raised his hands as if at gunpoint. "We weren't going to do anything! I was just kidding!"

Rob gave him a pointed look.

Sebastian turned to Blaine. "Who needs signs from the universe when we have these two monster billboards?"

_..._

"You sneaky little bastards..." Sebastian said with indignant good humor, shaking like a wet dog as they exited the Splash Mountain ride.

"Blam!" Blaine and Sam high fived each other, grinning. Sam chortled, "Next time do your homework and read the Disney World chat boards like Blaine and I did."

"There are Disney World chat boards?" Rob asked with a chuckle, wringing out the end of his cardinal red Stanford t-shirt.

"Yep, and the instructions were simple. Just lay forward and put your head down right before every fall...and the person behind you will get doused!" Sam replied gleefully.

Sebastian shook his head but couldn't repress a smile as he twisted water out of the left side of his shorts. "All I have to say is, you two better look out on _It's a Small World_. I may not harbor the same nostalgic feels that three of you grade-schoolers have, but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one with arms long enough to scoop up large quantities of nasty ride water to get my retribution."

Sam laughed and rolled his eyes. "Oh please, you won't remember to splash me. You and Blaine will be too busy making out in the back row of the boat. You two have been shameless and all over each other on every ride."

Sebastian smirked. "We're just making the most of our last day together. You two are just jealous. And it was not every ride."

"Fine, not every ride, but every one where you thought no one is looking."

Sebastian was ignoring him in favor of wringing out his clothes some more.

Rob chuckled to Sam, "Good to know I wasn't just seeing things. You know, at first I believed them when they said Blaine was nostalgic about riding the Disney World Railroad. And then I realized they were probably just looking for a ride that goes through a dark tunnel."

Sam grinned. "Like on the Snow White ride..."

"and Peter Pan," Rob added.

"and Pirates..."

"and Alice in Wonderland..."

Rob nudged Sam and gestured at Blaine with a chuckle. "Blaine looks like he might be in Wonderland, too."

Sure enough, Blaine looked entranced, his admiring eyes on Sebastian's perfectly toned chest in his soaked t-shirt. Every inch of his sleekly muscled physique was outlined by his white, clinging, now completely transparent Burberry cotton t-shirt. Another quarter at the gym made this an even better show than the Twister game at New Year's. Specifically, his shoulders looked broader and his pecs and abs more defined...which translated into Blaine's jaw slowly dropping. To top it off, Sebastian's thick winter-white henley had given way to a short sleeved, thin summer version that made Sebastian's whole upper body look like he had been wrapped in wet tissue that Blaine could rip off far too easily. The spectacle was amplified as Sebastian focused on pushing water out of his hair with his long fingers, his biceps and abs flexing as droplets continued to run down in trails between his pecs and down his taut stomach. This definitely rivaled Sebastian's ice-cube stunt earlier in the week as the hottest sight Blaine had seen since he and Sebastian had slept together in January.

Sebastian's gaze fell on him and he smirked. "So am I winning the wet t-shirt contest, Killer?" He stepped towards him and enveloped him in a dripping embrace and kiss that made Blaine's toes curl. He whispered with a chuckle, "You're totally hard for me, babe! That's a universal sign!"

…

Blaine's eyes were wide with alarm as he stopped and turned back. "Oh shoot, you guys I think I left my…"

"Babe, stop worrying. I have your precious Mickey Mouse polo in my backpack," Sebastian said, waving him back to the group as they walked towards the rental car in the Disney parking garage. "You left it on the counter at the candy shop and I grabbed it."

"Oh, thanks, Baby," Blaine said gratefully, putting his arm around Sebastian's waist with a warm smile. "So, where are we going for dinner?"

"Well, I was thinking that Sammy and Rob should choose tonight, because...well, because they are on our lists."

Sam looked confused. "Wait, I thought being on your list was a bad thing."

"Blaine made up new lists."

"The one I started with you yesterday," Blaine said with a smile. "Of people and things we're grateful for?"

"Aw, Seb…" Sam punched him in the arm playfully.

"Don't get sappy on me or you're going back on my other list."

"Awwww," Rob said, wiping his eyes in mock sentiment. "Tear."

Sebastian smacked him. "Shut up."

Rob grinned at him and said to Sam, "So, what will it be, sir?"

"Hmmm…" Sam thought for a moment as they reached the car. His blue eyes grew bright and he clapped his hands. "Oh, I know exactly where I want to eat dinner!"

...

 _[Hear "Everything is Awesome" by Tegan and Sara on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]_ :

 _Everything is Awesome,_  
_Everything is cool when you're part of a team_  
_Everything is Awesome when you're living out a dreams_  
_Everything is better when we stick together,_

 _Side by side you and I gonna win forever?_  
_Let's party forever_  
_We're the same unlike you, you & me we are a working in harmony_

 _Everything is Awesome,_  
_Everything is cool when you're part of a team_  
_Everything is Awesome when you're living out a dreams_

Sam started bouncing in his seat and Blaine laughed and swayed along with the music until Sebastian whispered urgently in his ear.

"Please let me go down on you. It's dark, no one will see and it may be the only good thing that will come from this evening."

Blaine was pretty sure his blush was so bright that it could be seen even in the dark of the theater. "Shhh, Seb! There a kid right behind us!"

"He won't notice. All the kids here are in animated-Lego-induced stupors," whispered Sebastian. "Even if he does look around, I'll be on the floor, he won't be able to see me,"

"You are terrible," whispered Blaine with a grin. "Here, have some nachos. They will be a good part of this evening."

"Ugh, that stuff looks like it is covered in orange glue."

"Yes, but it was expensive. So that means it must be good, right?"

"Nice try, Donald Trump. I'm not nouveau riche and neither are you."

Blaine shrugged and smiled. "Fine, this stuff tastes subpar for your palate, but you're the one who said they could pick where we would eat dinner - so you can't complain."

"Hot dogs and nachos at the Lego Movie IS NOT dinner. Anyway, don't remind me that I got us into this stroke-inducing predicament. That song is going to be in my head for a thousand and one nights. Which is a sign that you and I will not be having sex for a thousand and one nights. I hate Sam, he's definitely going back on my original list."

…

After the movie, the day in the sun at the amusement park was showing on the group's already spring-break-worn bodies. With the fatigue came melancholy on Sebastian and Blaine's faces as their thoughts flitted to goodbyes the next day.

In the same booth they had occupied Tuesday night, Sam pinched Blaine's cheek. "Blainers, 'why so serious?'" he sang. "Let's raise our glass! To an awesome…"

"You're not allowed to use that word for five years," Sebastian interrupted.

Sam ignored him. "Let's raise our glass to an awesome spring break together! Seriously, it's been the most epic…"

"You're not allowed to use _that_ word for ten years."

Sam ignored him again. "It's been the most epic spring break I ever had. But you two sorry sweethearts..."

"You just need to just stop talking," Sebastian arched an eyebrow.

"You two sweethearts can't mope until at least tomorrow, you have to live in the moment here and end this vacation with a bang!"

Rob patted Sebastian's arm and said quietly in his ear, "The man's not wrong. Perk up, Seb...if only for Blaine's sake." Sebastian glanced down at Blaine, whose head was tipped to lean on Sebastian's shoulder. The hazel eyes were indeed a bit solemn even as he watched Sam fondly.

Sebastian pressed his cheek to Blaine's hair and summoned a smile into his voice. "I thought I was too tired to go karaoking, but I'm glad Sammy and Rob insisted. Maybe now I can sing that godforsaken Lego song out of my head."

Blaine lifted his head to turn and smile up at him. "You're so cute when you are trying to cheer me up. Okay, no weepy goodbyes. I know you don't do weepy goodbyes."

"You make me sound like such a hard-hearted bastard. I guess I am, but I will make an exception to the weepy goodbye thing for you. How about this, you weep all you want and I'll dry your tears. And I'll sing to work out my pathos, and you can dry my tears when they throw rotten tomatoes at me. Come on, Killer - I'm ready to Carpe Diem." Sebastian gave an encouraging smile and gently pushed Blaine out of the booth towards the stage.

"Please tell me you're going to sing 'Live While We're Young," pleaded Blaine with a wistful smile as they crossed the room.

"Nope, I don't sing Warbler numbers without Warblers. But I have been thinking about this song since we were at Shingle Creek, it couldn't be more perfect."

A few songs later it was Sebastian's turn. He walked up to the microphone with his arresting stage smile. He spoke in his low, sexy voice. "Hello everyone, my name is Sebastian and I wanted to sing this one is for Blaine," he pointed at Blaine, who was standing in the crowd in front of him. "He's headed overseas tomorrow, which means I won't be able to roll around in the mud with him anymore. But maybe he'll stay if I sing this song well enough."

_[Hear "Stay" by the Dave Matthews Band on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine.]_

Most of the crowd applauded politely and the band began to play. The irresistible opening bars caused a ripple of energy through the crowd and there were cheers as the crowd recognized the song. Sebastian's hips began to sway before he pulled the microphone off the stand and began traversing the stage with it, charming the room as the crowd began to dance and sing along with him:

 _We were walking_  
_Just the other day_  
_It was so hot outside_  
_You could fry an egg_

Sebastian looked at Blaine and wiped imaginary sweat from his brow.

 _Remember you were talking_  
_I watched as sweat ran down your face_  
_Reached up and caught it at your chin_  
_Licked my fingertip_

Sebastian winked and licked his fingertip to demonstrate. Blaine caught his eye and beamed at him.

 _Wasting time_  
_Let the hours roll by_  
_Doing nothing for the fun_  
_Little taste of the good life_

He licked his lips and winked at Blaine.

 _Whether right or wrong_  
_Makes us want to stay stay stay stay for awhile_

 _Later on_  
_The sun began to fade_  
_Then the clouds rolled over our heads_  
_And it began to rain_

Blaine's smile widened as he danced with the crowd.

 _Oh we were dancing mouths open_  
_Splashing tongue taste_  
_For a moment this good time would never end_  
_You and me you and me_

 _Just wasting time_  
_I was kissing you_  
_You were kissing me love_

Sebastian locked eyes with Blaine and they exchanged loving glances and small smiles.

 _From good day into a moonlight_  
_Now a night so fine_  
_Makes us wanna stay stay stay stay stay for awhile_

 _Wasting time_  
_I shall miss these things_  
_When it all rolls by_  
_What a day_  
_Wanna stay stay stay stay stay for awhile_

Sebastian pointed at Blaine with a mischievous smile.

 _Hey love_  
_Oh just groping you_  
_Rolling in the mud_  
_Stay a while_  
_Come on love_  
_Wanna stay stay stay stay stay for awhile_

Blaine swayed and enjoyed Sebastian's irresistible performance, but his heart also felt a surge of mixed emotions as he thought back to their almost painfully precious afternoon by the creek and how how much he did desperately want to stay with Sebastian.

When the song was complete Sebastian descended the stage to Blaine, who was waiting at the bottom of the steps with a sweet smile on his face. He gave him a kiss and grabbed his hand to head back across the room.

"That was awesome!"

Sebastian gave him a warning look.

"Sorry," Blaine said with a chuckle. "That was amazing, thank you."

They reached the booth, Sebastian still glistening with sweat.

Sam looked enthusiastic. "That was…"

Sebastian put his finger to his lips. "DON'T. Dave Matthews was just starting to get that song out of my skull."

"And what a Dave Matthews song to do the trick," Rob said with a thoughtful smile. "Very appropriate. It would be great to 'stay awhile' in this five star, fanboy paradise. But alas, back to the grind we go tomorrow."

Sam was looking at Blaine. "Oh no! Blaine, don't get all Graduation!Tina on us..."

Blaine winked violently. "I am not!"

Sebastian shook off his own remorse at Rob's words before he pulled Blaine close and tilted his chin up to look in his eyes. "Yeah, there's still a tinge of weepy goodbye behind his eyes," he said with sympathy. He winked at Blaine before giving him a loving peck on the lips. "It's natural, parting with me is such sweet sorrow. I know Sam is going to commit hari kari when he has to bade me farewell tomorrow."

Blaine smiled and dodged the balled up napkin Sam launched at Sebastian.

"I know the perfect song to cheer both of them up," Rob said, looking inspired.

"What?" Sebastian asked.

Rob's expression was wise. "It's a song that I'll have to tell everyone back at Roble about. And it's a duet for you and Blaine, so it would be hard for me to describe it without mentioning Blaine. So before I tell you the name of the song, I just want to give you a heads-up that if they ask, I'll be telling everyone back at Stanford that Blaine is a guy you're dating."

"Hah!" Sam looked exultant.

Blaine and Sebastian objected. "But Rob..."

"We've TOLD you, Robbie..."

"Yes, you've told me that Blaine's not your boyfriend. That I can live with. I can understand that you guys don't want to consider yourselves something serious…"

"Even though you are," Sam interjected, rolling his eyes and earning a smack in the head from Sebastian.

Rob continued. "But even if you don't want to call him your boyfriend, you _are_ still dating him. There's no other way to describe Blaine in relation to you. He's the guy you're dating."

Sebastian opened his mouth but Rob held up his hand to keep him at bay. He shook his head reasonably as he continued. "I was willing to turn the other cheek a bit when we were back at school. I wanted to have your back and I could when I hadn't seen you together or listened to your Skype calls. But now that I've spent a week with you guys...come on. You're not just friends." Rob folded his arms and shrugged. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to lie for you."

"Yeah," Sam said, gaining courage. "You do everything that people who date do. You guys kiss, you make out, you cuddle...you get sad at the idea of being apart..."

Blaine was looking at his best friend with wide eyes as he took it all in. Sebastian was looking down swirling his scotch.

Rob continued, trying to catch Sebastian's eye. "You get jealous, you fight, you make-up, you take each other into consideration when making major life decisions…"

"You sleep in the same bed. You shared a Mickey Mouse-shaped ice cream bar," Sam concluded triumphantly. "You're dating!"

Sebastian finally raised his head up to look at Blaine. After a beat, they both looked abashedly at each other and exhaled. Blaine was blushing and Rob was pretty sure he saw a slight flush on Sebastian as well. He and Sam grinned at each other.

Blaine looked at Sam and Rob with embarrassment. "Okay, okay, when you list it all out like that, it's kind of undeniable." He looked at Sebastian and said just low enough for him to hear, "Plenty of people date casually and exclusively without getting in too deep emotionally." He added with a small smile, "Light, lovely, fun romance."

Sebastian nodded, his mouth quirking in a tentative half smile before he composed himself to address his roommate. "Fine, Robbie. You know without my saying that you are not to talk about anything specific about this week with any of those fools back at the Farm. But if you have to put a label on what Blaine and I are, I suppose that one is as good as any other."

"Except the boyfriend label, that would be a better label," Sam teased.

Rob shot Sam a warning look that said, _Take the win._ "Right. It's not a big deal, but I just wanted to let you know that I would be using that descriptor when people ask." He gave Sebastian a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Now. You HAVE to sing the duet you sang with Eric Hulter at Pauline's birthday party." He chuckled at the memory.

"Who is Eric Hulter?" Blaine asked.

Sebastian was chuckling, too. "A Roble freshman who came out around Valentine's Day. Jay wanted me to flirt with him to build up his confidence." He gave Rob a humorous look. "I don't know, Jersey Boy. I think you represented Roble well enough in the cheese category this week. And I don't think I'm drunk enough...remember how much I enjoyed Pauline's signature birthday cocktail?"

Rob handed him his own drink. "Then get drunker. You don't know anyone here, so who cares if it's the cheesiest duet known to man? Plus, we're in Orlando. This crowd is cheesier than a Cracker Barrel, it'll be a hoot."

Sebastian drank down Rob's beer and shook his head at the idea of singing the song in front of a full room. He couldn't repress sharing a smile with his roommate, though.

Rob was grinning as he imagined the scene as well. "Yep, you have to do it, because: (1) you promised Blaine three duets per karaoke night and you haven't been delivering by a long shot; (2) you owe Sam for being a jerk to him AND almost feeding him to the wolves at that gay club; (3) you owe Blaine for taking care of you with your fever and sunburn; and (4) if this doesn't cheer up Blaine, I don't know what will.

Sebastian looked down at Blaine, who was eyeing him curiously. "I don't know..."

Rob goaded, "You just have to do Seb, it's just SO AWE… sorry. It's so great..." He looked dissatisfied. "It's so Hilarious...marvelous. Hm, you see, I'm from Southern California, none of those words are as good. You just have to do it, because it's AWESOME. It's too awesome of a performance to be limited to a 40 person audience in a Stanford dorm. The world needs to see you do this, and you know Blaine is going to be fifty times better than Eric was."

"What is the song?!" Sam and Blaine chorused.

"You know it," laughed Sebastian, downing the rest of his scotch before bumping Blaine out of the booth again. He said with smirk to Rob, "I cannot believe I've let you talk me into this. And it's a good thing we'll have a karaoke prompter because we'll be laughing so hard that we'll forget the words." He turned back before he and Blaine stepped away. "Let Sammy be surprised, don't tell him until we start singing."

As soon as the opening notes began a huge smile spread over Sam's face and he started to laugh as his two friends hammed it up for the audience as they danced and sang:

_[Hear "Opposites Attract" by the Paula Abdul on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine.]_

Blaine  
_Baby seems we never ever agree_  
_You like the movies_  
_And I like T.V._

Sebastian  
_I take things serious_  
_And you take 'em light_

Blaine  
_I go to bed early_

Sebastian  
_And I party all night_

Blaine  
_Our friends are sayin'_

Sebastian  
_We ain't gonna last_

Blaine  
_Cuz I move slowly_  
  
Sebastian  
_And baby I'm fast_

Blaine  
_I like it quiet_

Sebastian  
_And I love to shout_

Both  
_But when we get together_  
_It just all works out_

Blaine  
_I take-2 steps forward_

Sebastian  
_I take-2 steps back_  
  
Both  
_We come together_  
_Cuz opposites attract_

Blaine  
_And you know-it ain't fiction_

Sebastian  
_Just a natural fact_  
  
Both  
_We come together_  
_Cuz opposites attract_

Both  
_Who'd a thought_

Sebastian  
_We could be lovers  
_He makes the bed__

Blaine  
_And he steals the covers_

Sebastian  
_He likes it neat_

Blaine  
_And he makes a mess  
_I take it easy__

Sebastian  
_Baby I get obsessed_  
_He's got the money_

Blaine  
_And he's always broke_  
I don't like cigarettes

Sebastian  
_And I like to smoke_

Both  
_Things in common_  
_Just ain't a one_  
_But when we get together_  
_We have nothin' but fun_

Blaine  
_I take-2 steps forward_  
  
Sebastian  
_I take-2 steps back_

Both  
_We come together_  
_Cuz opposites attract_

Blaine  
_And you know-it ain't fiction_

Sebastian  
_Just a natural fact_

When the song ended the crowd cheered wildly as Sebastian and Blaine stepped off the stage, laughing so hard that they were gasping for breath. They crossed the room to more cheers of various fellow patrons who clapped them on the back. They finally slid into the booth and their roommates congratulated them.

Sebastian was rubbing his temples and Blaine was chuckling. "We got like fifteen A words on the way over."

"I'm never going to get that song out of my head. A curse upon you, Samuel." Sebastian laid his head back and his arms across the back of the booth and Blaine collapsed against his shoulder. "If I weren't so beat, I'd clean your clock and make you choke on some legos."

"Put a fork in them, they're done," Sam said with a chuckle. "It must be exhausting, all that singin', all that dancin', all that mackin' all day…"

"It's a rough life," Rob nodded with a smile.

Sebastian didn't raise his head from the back of the booth but managed to zing a cardboard coaster in their direction anyway.

Sam pulled out his phone, which was buzzing. His face lit up as he read a text. "Hey you guys, Shing says a bunch of HPotterCon folks are getting together at the convention hotel bar! Let's go!"

Rob nodded with interest. "That sounds good, I'm in."

Sam looked at Sebastian and Blaine. "You guys have to come, we can't leave you two alone, remember?"

Rob looked at their two exhausted roommates. "Eh, I'm not going to worry about it, Sam. They're pretty beat. And I'm done policing them. We did our best all week. They can make one last decision about their last night. As long as they make up their minds before they cross the point of no return, I'm sure they will make a sound decision. They're big boys. I'll just have to live with it if Sebastian literally screws me out of my $700 cockblock patrol money. I'm not interested in being a watchdog for them on our last night here, not when we can go meet up with the Potter crowd."

Sebastian's eyes were still closed as he teased, "I knew it! You have a crush on that Shing girl!"

Rob looked repulsed. "She's still in high school, Seb. Ugh."

Sam implored again, "Oh come on, Blaine, you should come at least! Everyone will be asking about you!"

Blaine raised his head and looked ambivalent. "I don't know…" He turned to Sebastian. "Seb, maybe we could…?"

Sebastian's head remained thrown backwards but he raised a hand to interrupt. "B, if you have to go, go. But I'm not going to that party. No way. Not happening. Weirdo-Tag and Teenage Mutant Snogwarts Prom was enough. As it is, I'm going to have to take a five hour shower when I get back to Stanford to wash all the nerd stink off of me. If I go to that party tonight it could break me."

"Oh Seb, if you think this is bad, just think…" Rob said with a chuckle as he winked conspiratorially at Blaine and Sam.

"Oh yeah. This is nothing. Next year..." Sam grinned at a wary Sebastian before saying loudly with Rob and Blaine: "COMIC-CON!"

…

Sebastian's head was in Blaine's lap, both of them sleeping soundly as the cab reached the Ritz. As they got out they shook off some of their grogginess, and by the time they were halfway across the lobby they were feeling a little refreshed from their nap. They stopped to look out the back doors, where a very flashy party of some kind was going on by the pool. It was an elaborate spectacle, complete with loud DJ, several giant spotlights lighting up the sky, and floating lanterns.

Blaine nudged Sebastian and gestured to a couple a short distance away, coming from the party towards the lobby. "Seb, look! Is that...?"

Sebastian looked in the direction Blaine was pointing. "Well, damn...look at that," he smirked. "It's Goldilocks from lunch...what are the odds? And that must be the man-cub in question." He gave the young man a quick assessment, noting a pair of well muscled arms and the shine of his blond curls. He added under his breath, "You did pretty well for yourself, Goldie."

Blaine chuckled. "Seb, you do know that I can hear you, right?" He nudged Sebastian's chin to look him in the eye and tease. "Rule number one of dating is that you don't check out other guys in front of the guy you're dating."

Sebastian chuckled and pulled Blaine into his arms with an innocent smile. "Got it. Sorry. But hey, I was just looking out for our girl! She deserves a fine looking..."

"Just stop," Blaine laughed, covering Sebastian's mouth with his hand. "Rule number two: once you've realized you've dug yourself into a hole, It's time to stop digging."

Sebastian struggled and pulled Blaine's hand away to kiss him affectionately. As they pulled apart they noticed the blonde and her companion tripping across the lobby, arms around each other's waists. Sebastian pointed, smirking again. "Oh yeah, those two are totally going upstairs to get laid. Quite possibly with each other."

Blaine smacked him. "Stop ruining it. Look at them, they are so sweet! You can practically see the stars in their eyes."

The couple was in an elevator in mere seconds.

As the elevator doors closed Sebastian tightened his hold around Blaine's waist and chuckled. "It's another sign, Killer."

They had been making the joke all day, but the questioning look in Sebastian's eyes made Blaine wonder if he was being serious or not.

There was an awkward pause and they found themselves avoiding each other's eyes..

A noisy group came through the lobby, breaking the tension. Sebastian let go of Blaine's waist and took his hand, leading him towards the elevator. He looked thoughtful. "I wonder what date the Aryan duo is on?"

"Didn't she say they were friends first? If that's right, maybe they've had no dates, like us,"Blaine looked at Sebastian with a sentimental expression. "Well, except in our goodnight stories this week. And those have been just as good."

Sebastian kept walking, but looked at his shoes. His voice was surprisingly earnest. "Well it's never too late for a real first date. We'll just have to do it in Paris. Or if one of us can get away for a visit this quarter. I don't know why we didn't ditch Sam and Rob one night this week."

Blaine chuckled. "Because they wouldn't let us." He squeezed Sebastian's hand as they stepped into the elevator. "But a real first date anywhere sounds good. Actually, Paris sounds more than good. It sounds perfect."

After the doors closed Sebastian said with a smirk, "I like how we've never been on a date, but we're apparently dating now." The green eyes twinkled at Blaine.

Blaine smiled and gave him a look of shy delight. "I know it's just a label, but it has a nice ring to it," he said with another smile.

"That it does," Sebastian said with a fond look. If he had known the "dating" label would put that look on Blaine's face, he would have suggested it long ago.

As the elevator climbed there was another awkward pause. It was strange, since they were hardly ever uncomfortable around each other.

As they stepped out of the elevator on their floor they were saved by the noise and distraction of the party through the partially open window in the hallway. "Damn, those spotlights are fierce, it looks like it's broad daylight out there," Sebastian remarked, pulling Blaine beside the window to look down at the crowd.

"Wow…it looks even more impressive from up here. I wonder if it's a rich person's party or a corporate event?" Blaine pointed. "I can't believe there are only a few people in the jacuzzi and the pool, though."

"The vibe is too sexy on a Saturday night to be a corporate thing. People probably aren't drunk enough yet to skinny dip or ruin their designer clothes. It's only 11:30, something like this probably didn't start until 10." He glanced at Blaine. "Do you want to go down for a swim and a nightcap?"

"You want to crash the party?" laughed Blaine, craning his neck to see an ice sculpture.

Sebastian was looking at the party again, too. He smirked. "I think of it more as 'checking out the scene.' Anyway, you don't fool me, you love it when I go prep school badboy for you. And I know you can be just as naughty as me when we're together."

The words hung in the air like a promise. Without even looking at each other, they both felt the electricity again between them, now accompanied by the sexy dance rhythm of GaGa and R. Kelly's duet. Sebastian finally looked over to find Blaine looking at him. The music faded as the the world once again seemed to dissolve to love, fear, gratitude, reluctance, desire, sadness...wrapped up in a slow, tingling kiss.

As their lips parted, Blaine whispered unsteadily, "I get drunk on you when you kiss me like that."

Sebastian smiled softly. "Now will you come down and swim with me?"

"Mmm...okay." hummed Blaine as he closed his eyes and put his head on Sebastian's shoulder. "That kiss was very, very persuasive. I suppose the party hosts _probably_ won't mind if there are just two more people coming to see what the spectacle is about…"

Sebastian shook his head and kissed his cheek fondly. "I feel a little guilty about how much I've corrupted you...but then I remember that this is my last opportunity to get you shirtless and in those snug little swim trunks before we leave. Once we add a little hot, steamy water in the jacuzzi, any guilt will dissolve into the bubbles."

Blaine's eyes were still closed. "The jacuzzi sounds marvelous, but I'm still kind of tired. I might not be able to get out after I get in…"

"I'll carry you up if you fall asleep," Sebastian said with a smirk, sweeping a laughing Blaine off his feet right then and there and carrying him down the hall.

When they reached Blaine's suite door they felt suddenly tense again. The door suddenly felt like a honeymoon threshold, or perhaps even more awkwardly, Sebastian's bedroom door three months ago.

Sebastian stared at Blaine's lips. After a beat, he pulled himself together and set Blaine down. As he fumbled in his pockets for his keycard he said too casually, "I'll just...change and come over. Or, you can come to me."

He quickly slipped the card in the lock and entered his suite.

Blaine was still in the hall, mouth slightly agape. Sebastian was trying to do the right thing. In a jacuzzi? What was the right thing in a jacuzzi?

Eventually Blaine found the presence of mind to find his keycard and open his door, flipping the light on as he entered. The noise from the party downstairs was muted by the more soundproofed windows of the suite, but the window panes were bright from the spotlights that illuminated the sky outside like floodlights on a Broadway stage. He slowly walked to the bedroom, his heart still a tangle as he changed into his swim trunks and slung a towel around them.

This was it. Their last night of spring vacation. Blaine's stomach turned at the thought, then twisted in confusion as he thought about the final night of their last vacation. Maybe they should talk more by the pool about it...

_[Cue "Cream" on our or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine - not available on YouTube]_

That's when he heard the music change by the pool downstairs. He had been digging for a t-shirt in the bureau but he walked over to the living room window see if he could hear more clearly from there. He couldn't quite make out the song, but it was definitely…yes, it definitely sounded like…

His suite door flew open and the music poured in from the hall.

Sebastian stood by the open door, looking like he had been halfway through dressing for the pool. He was still wearing the black Armani pants he had worn to the club...but he was shirtless. Blaine licked his lips and stared.

"Hey."

"Hey." They both stared at each other some more as the room seemed to close in on them. The music seemed to sing what was in their heads:

 _This is it_  
_It's time for you to go to the wire_  
_You will hit_  
_'Cause you got the burnin' desire_  
_It's your time_  
_You got the horn so why don't you blow it?_  
_You are fine,_  
_(Fine)_  
_You're filthy cute and baby you know it_

Their eyes locked. Sebastian gave him a onceover quite like he had the first day they'd met at Dalton. "That's quite a scrap of a towel."

But instead of blushing, Blaine gave Sebastian a filthy-cute look. "They're playing Prince."

"It's a sign," they said together seriously.

"It's a big blinking arrow sign from Vegas," smirked Sebastian, closing the suite door and leaning up against it.

The music was muted but Blaine knew the song and it continued in his head with the faint beat he could still hear outside.

 _You're so good_  
_Baby, there ain't nobody better_  
_(Ain't nobody better)_  
_So you should_  
_Never ever go by the letter_  
_(Never ever)_

Sebastian turned the deadbolt before walking slowly across the room and opening the French doors to the balcony. The music floated back inside. He leaned on one shoulder against the door frame, his face unreadable.

 _Make the rules,_  
_Then break them all 'cause you are the best_  
_(Rules)_  
_Yes, you are_

Blaine hadn't stirred from his spot by the window but he could feel himself getting hard just looking at Sebastian's bare torso. He said slowly and seriously, "You know, I was thinking...maybe...since we're clear that we aren't going to be boyfriends spring quarter…"

"Right," Sebastian said with assurance, walking towards Blaine with his hands in his pockets. "Then tonight wouldn't be an ongoing thing...not at all friends with benefits. It would just be…" he searched for a sensible reason. "It would just be ….a proper goodbye. And..." He glanced out the window as he groped for another argument.

Blaine added, "And we both had really tough winter quarters and we deserve to have some fun."

Sebastian gave him a sexy smile and finally put his arms around Blaine. "Absolutely. We definitely deserve some fun. And there is…" he leaned down and nibbled on Blaine's ear, "absolutely nothing," his hand moved to massage through Blaine's hair, "more fun," he kissed his way down Blaine's neck, "than sex."

"With each other," Blaine teased, smiling into the soft chestnut hair as he felt Sebastian: his lips against his skin, his open mouth on his throat, his tongue he wanted everywhere.

"With each other, of course, of course." Sebastian raised his head to give him an apologetic look before realizing he was being teased. He grinned and found Blaine's sweet mouth to nip at his lower lip.

[ ](http://imgur.com/YSMLj0o)

source:an-alternate-world.tumblr.com

Blaine felt Sebastian's erection hard against his hip as he kissed across his cheek, down his jawline, down the delicious flesh of his neck. But his brain wouldn't let up so he rambled on, more to himself than to Sebastian. "After all, we've probably been overanalyzing this," he grunted, grabbing Sebastian's ass. "We're probably overthinking all of this," he panted.

"Yes, yes," Sebastian spoke heavily, his hands starting to caress more urgently, one massaging the smooth skin of Blaine's back while the other palmed his ass. "I blame Dalton," he hissed with pleasure, pulling their bodies flush against each other. "They taught us to think too much." He threw his head back and bucked his hips against Blaine's. "Stupid, stupid, Dalton."

Blaine's breathing continued to grow increasingly labored. "And hey, it's spring break and it's so romantic here." as he pushed his ass back into Sebastian's hand. "Anyone would want to have sex here..."

Sebastian whispered almost deliriously as he mouthed at Blaine's collarbone and rubbed his erection against Blaine's. "Absolutely. This place requires it. I don't think we're allowed to check out at the front desk without confirming with them that we had sex in this room."

Blaine pulled him forward further by the back of his neck and started kissing even more deeply, more feverishly as he felt his cock grow still harder. "We won't let this get us in too deep, right?" He gasped between kisses, "I mean, even Rob kind of said it was okay."

Sebastian barely heard him but he nodded vigorously as he ripped the towel open. "Right," He said as he kissed down Blaine's chest, now gripping his ass with both hands. "Rob knows everything and he said it was okay."

"Yes!" Blaine moaned and bucked his hips as Sebastian stopped to swirl a nipple with his tongue. He pulled Sebastian up again so he could kiss his chest in return and trace his mouth and fingertips purposefully along his abs. "Rob said it was okay," he mumbled into Sebastian's navel. "Rob is so wise. He's like Yoda."

"No talking about Star Wars," Sebastian said as he closed his eyes and rolled his head back. "Damn, I'm going to miss the way your mouth feels on me," he muttered.

Mention of their parting brought Blaine up to capture his mouth. "I'm going to miss everything about you," he whispered before kissing Sebastian with so much emotion that their eyes welled up. They parted for air and looked at each other tearfully. Blaine felt the pain in Sebastian's eyes and could only think of only one thing to do. "Fuck me, 'Bas," he whispered.

Sebastian instantly palmed Blaine's cock and bit into his neck. Blaine cried out and there was no going back.

 _Cream_  
_Right there_  
_Cream don't you stop_

Sebastian moaned at the feeling of Blaine's hefty erection against his hand, burying his face in Blaine's neck. He could barely speak. "Damn...dreamed about touching you...all quarter," he whispered as his hand stroked and gripped Blaine's cock through the soft fabric of his shorts. "Want you yesterday…want to bury myself in you…I want to live in you..." He leaned up and captured Blaine's mouth roughly. _God I love you so fucking much._

Blaine unbuttoned Sebastian's pants and started kissing all over his chest, sounding just as incoherent. "Missed...being so close," he breathed, licking at a nipple, "Want you inside me so much. Want you so deep...so beautiful." _You are all I ever wanted. I didn't know I could love someone so much._

One of Sebastian's hands began rubbing sensual circles on Blaine's back as the other hand continued to massage his cock. He looked down at Blaine and breathed, "You're the most beautiful..." He coaxed the curly head up to look into the hazel eyes, only to falter in that gaze. When he looked at him like that, Blaine saw him like no one else ever saw him. "You're just so...beautiful," he repeated, his usually eloquent tongue unable to find another word. _I've never loved anyone like I love you._

Blaine's hazel eyes softened and his hands left Sebastian's waistband to reach up around his neck. They kissed again, and again, each kiss more charged than the one before, their embrace like they would never let go, all of it like it could be everything, like they were in the middle of forever, infinity.

Sebastian thought he might combust. _Fucking marry me,_ said his heart. _I'll love you forever._ It was too overwhelming. He focused on the precious feeling of Blaine's hands on his arms, he focused on intensifying his every touch. He focused on savoring the feeling of their bare chests pressing together; his fingertips stroking more ardently at the perfect skin, pressing with heightened fervor on the beautiful supple flesh of Blaine's ass; their hips redoubling the achingly intense drag of their erections. It helped somehow, focusing on the poetry of every move, of every muscle, of every inch of skin. It managed to keep his heart from rupturing in his chest.

Blaine moaned again as Sebastian's fingers roughly grazed his nipples and his lips latched into his neck again. Sebastian was _so much_. Blaine felt his heart was racing, his mind was reeling and he couldn't get his head around how he could love someone so much. It was so overwhelming, he thought his heart might split open and he feared it was too good to be true. He had to bite his tongue from saying it. _I love you, I love you, I love you. I've never felt more alive, more real. I love you. I know I'll love you always._ "Oh Bas," is all he got out. "Bas…" He couldn't choke out another thought. He didn't want to anymore, not when he could just unzip Sebastian's pants and palm him. He wanted to just feel, not think, just focus on how wonderful it was to _finally_ touch Sebastian like this again.

Sebastian bucked into Blaine's hand, thinking he might come just from having Blaine's hand wrapped around him. So he slid down and his strong fingers pushed down the swim trunks. Blaine stepped out of them, looking down at a handsome apparition that had haunted him all quarter. But this time it was the real Sebastian Smythe, in the flesh, on his knees, mouthing his cock and gripping his ass with want, looking delectably obscene as his tongue licked lines of madness. Blaine was rock hard, leaking and licking his lips at the ravenous look in Sebastian's eyes. Blaine fumbled for Sebastian's hair, looking for support on his already unsteady legs. Sebastian's hand gripped the base of his cock, doing an insane swirling motion with his tongue before taking his length, only to pull off and swipe the slit on the tip and start sucking again. "Sebastian, holy…" Blaine still couldn't finish a sentence.

The intense, slick, heated intake of Sebastian's mouth was stunning. Blaine felt outside of his body, hearing himself sigh and hiss and grunt. He felt Sebastian moan before he heard it, the vibrations throwing Blaine's head backwards. His legs were shaking. "Bas...sooo good." His voice was breaking. He looked down at him and saw Sebastian still looking up at him over his reddened lips, his hand lost inside his own pants, stroking.

Blaine wanted to do that. "No…" But he was rendered speechless again by suddenly remarkable ministrations of Sebastian's tongue. A blowjob from Sebastian was always excruciating pleasure, artistry even...until he stopped teasing and deep throated until Blaine saw stars.

His knees were starting to buckle as he couldn't help but fuck without restraint into Sebastian's mouth. It was just too good, Blaine couldn't feel anything but the sensation of Sebastian's lips and tongue and his whole mouth sucking ardently all around him.

Sebastian couldn't tend to his own hard-on anymore, it was too much, too much seeing dapper Blaine Anderson completely undone. He had to really have at him. He stood up and kissed Blaine's tortured red lips, pushing him towards the bedroom, wanting him spread out in all his flawlessness beneath him.

Blaine cursed the loss of Sebastian's mouth on his cock as they crossed to the bedroom, but Sebastian's lips on his temple, cheek, neck and mouth tenderly soothed him as they made their way and crashed on the bed together. Once they were horizontal however, their kisses and movements lost their finesse, reduced to the raw feeding of a three month starvation. They kissed as deeply as they could, as deeply as they were feeling. They pushed their bodies as close as they could, as close as they could. Bare chests and hips slid and pushed wildly against each other, legs entangling to get still closer but never feeling close enough.

It wasn't long before Blaine could stand it no longer, pushing to sit up and force Sebastian on his feet. He grasped hungrily at Sebastian's sexy, compact ass and mouthed at his cock through his underwear until Sebastian moaned. Blaine suddenly ripped his pants down with great speed, only to slow his movements as he began to pull down the D&G boxer briefs. He wanted to take his time to soak up the sight of Sebastian's impressive erection. Sebastian smirked down at him until the briefs were completely off, when Blaine changed gears again and his mouth was suddenly all over him, not bothering to tease. What Blaine may have lacked in experience, he made up for in intensity. He engulfed Sebastian like a cockslut and gripped what he couldn't take in, satisfying a craving unmet for months. Sebastian's eyes rolled back, feeling sure he was going to come on the spot.

"Jesus Blaine," he moaned as he gripped at Blaine's curls. Blaine kept at it, loving the weight of his Sebastian's cock in his mouth and delighting at the sight of the Great Sebastian Smythe completely unhinged. "Fuck Jesus Blaine oh my God B!" Sebastian's words were barely strung together as he fought not to knock Blaine off his knees as he thrust into those perfect red lips.

Blaine finally pulled off and kissed the sensitive skin of his inner thigh, causing an actual whimper. "Don't fucking stop...so fucking close…"

Blaine pulled him on the bed, stroking his hair and kissing his swollen mouth. "I need you to come in me, Baby."

"Fuck, yes..." Sebastian answered in a low voice. He slid back off the bed to grab lube from his pants, taking a deep breath to collect himself so he would be able to see straight while prepping Blaine. His eyes were darkened with lust as he crawled back to hover over Blaine. "Jesus, I dreamed about coming in you all quarter." He tossed the packet beside them and leaned down to grip the small waist and mouth at Blaine's cock, his inner thighs, his hipbones, his chest.

He took in the sight of Blaine's adoring face and it all suddenly made Sebastian ache: looking at the only love he'd ever known, open and spread out enticingly beneath him, beautifully beneath him, exquisitely beneath him...knowing they would part tomorrow. He felt his eyes well up and ducked his head down to Blaine's collarbone, desperately hoping a burst of tears wouldn't flood and ruin things.

He had always thought that when they made love again he would want to see Blaine's loving, beautiful face. But his tears risked betraying him so he nudged Blaine to turn over, his hands and lips stroking across and down Blaine's back. He lowered his head to press upon the perfect ass, worshipping it and worshipping Blaine with kisses and touches of reverence. He pressed his cheeks and nose on and between the perfect cheeks, trying to soak in his scent, wanting to sear it even more strongly to his memory than it already was.

Sebastian reached for the lube, prepping Blaine carefully, making him cry out and writhe, sucking in a breath before relaxing and starting to moan with want.

Blaine had been fingering himself for months, and now he knew the real reason why. Sebastian's scissoring only caused mild pain before he was hissing, "Seb, I need…"

Sebastian finally withdrew his fingers and slicked his aching hard-on before leaning down, his cock sliding along the crack of Blaine's stunningly curvaceous ass, his face leaning down at intervals to kiss Blaine's shoulders, neck, back. The sensation and sight of his cock sliding deliciously between Blaine's sinfully round ass cheeks made Sebastian never want to stop.

Blaine could feel the glide of the delicious weight and heft of Sebastian's cock on his ass, the hottest tease he could ever want. When he looked back he could see Sebastian, his eyes half closed and looking debauched and absolutely filthy with satisfaction and want. The sight was enough to make Blaine buck back violently before finding a delectable rhythm as he kept sliding against Sebastian and across the bedding beneath him. But eventually it was too much, not just because his dick was aching to come but because his mind was wandering and his eyes began to swim with tears for Sebastian and all that he wanted for them. He needed release or he would sob. His voice between moans grew urgent. "Bas... I want you inside me...baby, I need you to fuck me..."

Sebastian's vision was blurred again as he slowly sheathed himself. Instantly his tears seemed to vanish, because all he could feel was intense, heated pleasure and the strongest need to consume Blaine and keep him there forever. "Oh my fuck Blaine, so tight..."

Blaine thought he was going to overflow from the feeling of this phenomenal man, his Sebastian, inside him. He was sure his heart would burst as he panted, "Seb...you feel...oh god. So unbelievable, please..." And eventually, "Move, Baby. God move, please move."

So Sebastian started moving. He tried to go slow but it had been too long, so long, it was too much desire to control. He had to accelerate, he couldn't go slow with Blaine pushing back and moaning for more.

"Oh yes, Bas, yes!" Blaine panted. "Harder, faster..."

Sebastian couldn't hear that, couldn't see Blaine lift his head from time to time to moan for more, without going faster and thrusting as hard as he could to get as far inside as he could. He had to thrust at a rapidly increasing pace, reveling in the feelings, sensations, the sounds of Blaine beneath him as he fucked him into the mattress. They were both working up a sweat, both feeling tears in their eyes again as their emotions seemed to spill out with every push, every thrust, every clench, every kiss Sebastian laid on Blaine.

Suddenly Blaine pushed back so hard that Sebastian understood and pulled out of him, panting and pushing heated kisses on his back as Blaine came up on all fours. "Touch me," came the hoarse whisper. Sebastian desperately rammed forward in response, fucking back inside Blaine with such passion that he thought they both would come.

He wrapped his hand around Blaine's throbbing cock with intention, but he wasn't sure how long he could last himself. His balls tightened as one hand held Blaine's hip and he continued to thrust forward with demanding force. He cried out as Blaine fell halfway down, the new angle allowing him still deeper, pushing against Blaine's prostate and drawing out still more moans from Blaine.

Blaine alternated between pushing back on Sebastian's cock and thrusting himself through Sebastian's strong fingers, feeling like he would break apart into a million pieces.

"So...close..."

"BAS, BAS, BAS..."

"OH GOD"

"OH GOD SEBBB!" Blaine let out a final, earthshaking, incomprehensible moan as he came all over the pristine bedding, launched into another reality.

Sebastian felt intoxicated as he jerked with an increasingly liquid Blaine through every last bit of his orgasm. He had to support keep an arm wrapped around his waist as he continued his own urgent chase to completion.

"God, B!" Sweat dripped from him as he felt his balls swell again with what felt like the thousandth incredible thrust, grunting and pushing with everything he had, moaning with all that was left.

"Come for me, Baby," Blaine turned his head to encourage, his voice husky. "Come inside me, Beautiful." With that, Blaine clenched around him and Sebastian was gone.

"Fuck Blaine, Blaine, Blaine, Babe oh god!" Sebastian shouted as he came, stuttering forward as he released explosively inside Blaine. Going, going, gone to the very end of the earth and back to relish and thrust through every last shred of his orgasm as Blaine kept tightening around his cock. Finally he collapsed forward, still inside of Blaine, breathing heavily against his shoulder.

Blaine slowly lowered them completely flat on the bed, not caring that it was a sticky mess. _They_ were a sticky, spectacular mess, and he loved it.

They bathed in the loving intimacy that had no space or time, Sebastian inside him and on top of him as their breathing and heartbeats began to slow. They needed no words, they needed nothing but the closeness they felt.

Eventually their breathing became steady. They both thought the other had fallen asleep.

Sebastian's exhausted heart started to haunt him with that song again:

 _You can feel the light start to tremble,_  
_Washing what you know out to sea.  
_ _You can see your life out of the window tonight._

 _If I lose myself tonight,_  
_It'll be by your side.  
_ _I lose myself tonight…_

Blaine's spent heart wondered what would come next, what would happen tomorrow. He wondered if they could make the most of their last few hours together, if they would survive the distance. Most of all, he wondered if Sebastian loved him the way Blaine loved Sebastian.

He knew Sebastian had love for him - but he also knew he was Sebastian's first relationship. Blaine wanted so much to become a better person, the kind of person who was less dependent on outside approval, the kind of person who was more comfortable with being alone. The kind of person who was worthy of Sebastian.

 _If I lose myself tonight,_  
_It'll be by your side.  
_ _I lose myself tonight…_

They laid there with their eyes wide open, for a long time, until they fell asleep

…

"For Chrissake..." Sebastian was staring at the ceiling.

"What?"

"Sam...I can't believe..."

"If you say that you can't get the image of Sam's abs out of your head after we just made love...god help me I will..."

"No, it's worse, I still can't get that goddamned Lego song out of my head."

Blaine laughed and rolled over onto a pillow.

Sebastian turned his head to look at the sexy sight of Blaine Anderson, wrapped in sheets just up to where the curve of his ass began. "What are you doing way over there? Come fuck that stupid song out of me..."

"Well _someone's_ refreshed from our little nap." Blaine laughed, rolling closer and leaning up on one elbow. He paused, running a finger down Sebastian's well muscled arm. "It was a good for me to get some rest, too. Before I fell asleep I was getting a little sad thinking about tomorrow, and the next three years. But now that I have some rest in me I'm okay, I'm better now." His eyes were a little troubled, even though he tried to keep his tone normal.

The green eyes looked concerned. "Babe..." Sebastian rolled on top of him, remembering that covering and pressing down on Blaine with his body was of some comfort. It felt almost painfully intimate to do while they were still naked, with goodbyes just hours away. But Sebastian brushed away the pressure on his own heart to kiss Blaine with tender reassurance. "Try not to worry too much, we can't do much about it. It is what it is." He lay his cheek on Blaine's, trying to think of something else more comforting to say. "Just try to remember Sam's list, remember we're lucky."

His smile was tentative as he pulled up to brush his thumb across Blaine's cheek. "Anyway, you won't be able to miss me too much, because you're not going to be able to stop me from emailing you every day this quarter and Skyping you whenever I can pin you down. You did make so much progress at becoming 'Most Popular' and 'Most Likely to Succeed' at the RC last quarter. I think you earned us unlimited communication and a 15GB data plan. I'll even throw in a free IPad and a lifetime warranty."

Blaine gave him a sweet, grateful smile. _God I love you,_ he thought.

Sebastian kissed his cheek gently, holding him tightly and growing quiet again. "We're going to be okay, B…"

"'Cause we're Seb and Blaine," Blaine finished for him with another grateful smile. "Thanks baby, you always know just what to say." He gave his own reassuring kiss. "But don't worry too much about me, I really am feeling better - I was just tired, and I worry when I'm tired." He gave Sebastian another reassuring look. "I'm refreshed now and I refuse to mope away the rest of our time together." He squeezed Sebastian's ass and gave him a sexy smile. "Now, what were you saying about wanting to be fucked?"

Sebastian visibly relaxed. "Just that I want to be fucked." He added as if to clarify, "By you."

Blaine swatted at him and rolled them over. "Bite me."

"Yum, where?" smirked Sebastian.

"Nowhere, until I wash off a little." Blaine chuckled as he got up and retrieved some clean towels and warm, wet washcloths from the bathroom. He laid the towels on Sam's bed and coaxed Sebastian to lay on them as he sponged them carefully.

"Mmm…" Sebastian hummed and closed his eyes as Blaine sponged his cock. "Mmm, when you do that I feel like an ancient Roman being taken care of by my sexy slave."

Blaine raised his eyebrows and looked up at him, licking his lips. "Really, you're up for roleplaying? All these white hotel sheets are perfect for that fantasy. And it could be a great twist for the slave to top for once..."

Sebastian's eyebrows raised. "Wow, that nap really did give you a second wind." He leaned over and delivered a dirty kiss as he caressed Blaine's ass. "So I take it there will be no rest for the wicked tonight?"

Blaine shook his head and looked alluringly at him. "Carpe Diem, Baby...we've got all night."

Sebastian smirked as he felt a twitch in his cock. "Amen. Round Two it is, then. Fetch me my toga, Slave."

...

Rob and Sam returned at close to 2AM to find Sam and Blaine's door deadbolted. Sam's toothbrush and a sign were on Rob's door, tacked up with the medical tape that Sebastian sometimes used when his knee was bothering him. The hastily scrawled sign read:

_We apparently can't be left unattended. I'll pay you the $700 anyway._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you go. 19 chapters later, you finally get some more smut. It was seriously painful to write, but if you like it you can thank the inspiring and excellent smut of id8a, which she/he couched in a beautiful Seblaine story.
> 
> Also hope you enjoyed the end of spring break memories made by Roblambastian. I credit Beta reader Harvey for Seb's reaction to Blaine's admission to UCLA (and Tisch, but we know Seb really only cares about UCLA in his heart).
> 
> Thanks to everyone for once again for listening to a few more Gleeky songs. "Stay" is such a throwaway to some of you perhaps, but I was listening to it last winter and I could picture Seblaine in the heat, rain and mud. So Shingle Creek was researched just so Seb could sing that song to Blaine to try to make their goodbye just a little less weepy. "Opposites Attract" somehow came up when I was researching duets for Seblaine and I couldn't resist, the lyrics are too perfect and the image of those two hamming it up was too priceless to pass up. Yes, poor Grant and Darren are my Ken dolls.
> 
> It also was fun to throw the boys in Disney World and imagine Seblaine making out on every ride, and of course Seblaine Week 2014 on Tumblr inspired me to include yet another wet-tshirt scene for Bas. I figured you guys wouldn't mind. My beta readers laugh at these shirtless Sebastian scenes, like the one of him by the pool back in Chapter 1 and this one, plus Twister. If we made this into a TV soap opera, Grant would constantly be edited into slow motion doing these scenes!
> 
> So, what did you think ? Did I got too nuts anywhere and go out of character? What were your favorite parts? Let me know if you want spoilers! Onwards to spring quarter! Preview: Phone Sex becomes a greater temptation, Seb will help Jay out, Blaine will put Oliver in his place, and the whole trimester will fly by much faster both for these boys and for you! So we can get to Paris. Oh, we have plans for Paris...


	33. Post-mortems Again, Spring Forward, and New York for Nationals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First we check in with the boys (individually and together, both at the Orlando airport and once they get back to school) to reflect on and react to all the Spring Break excitement. Then we get a bit of correspondence to peek into their spring quarter lives and get a report from Blaine on his admissions decision making process. As promised, we're jumping through spring quarter at lightning speed compared to winter quarter, because by the end of the chapter we've leaped into midterm time and Sebastian/Rob/Karen on their trip to New York for college glee club Nationals. Some of you are thinking, "Wait, Rob's in glee club now?" (I know this because even one of the beta readers asked this.) Yes, don't you remember? After his Jersey Boys performance in Orlando Sebastian said he would have to join. And we all know that Sebastian Smythe gets what he wants. Most of the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, One and All,
> 
> Here is another chapter for you! I fear it's not quite as exciting or as smutty as the last one, as this chapter sets up chapters in the future for the most part, with some fluff thrown in. Hopefully it will tide you over for now. 
> 
> As always I want to express my tremendous gratitude to my Beta team, Dori, Cristina, Rose, Thomas and Harvey! And thanks to all of you for your patience and for joining us on this ride!
> 
> Xoxo,
> 
> Tiburonwriter

_BLAINE: Hey Lady, my flight is late taking off. So I have time to give you a newsflash: I slept with Sebastian last night :O_

Blaine's phone rang and he chuckled as he showed Sam the caller ID.

Sam pulled at Blaine's arm and murmured, "Don't forget to tell her..."

Blaine nodded and answered his phone with a fond smile. "Hey."

Tina grinned broadly. "Hello, sex machine. I was wondering if you guys would cave."

Blaine blushed. "Before I forget, Sam says hi and wants me to tell you that he's hungover now but he's sending you like five impression Vines tomorrow, first thing. Sebastian wouldn't let him do any Harry Potter ones all week so he's busting at the seams."

Tina laughed. "Give him a squeeze for me." She stood up to pace her room. "Now, let's move on. I don't need the "am" in Blam right now, I need some B to the L! Spill the details on last night."

"Tay, I'm not going to give you details while I'm on a crowded plane! No one wants to hear that."

"Not even a scrap?!"

Blaine's lips curved into sexy smile. "I'll just say...he's in even better shape after lacrosse season than he was at Christmas break."

"In terms of stamina or sleek, toned muscle?" Tina asked slyly.

"Both," Blaine bit his lip coyly and blushed again.

"Oh my," Tina drawled. "If that picture you texted me from the swimsuit dressing room last quarter was any indication, Sam's exercise regimen last quarter paid off for you, too. So you and Sebastian _together_ must have looked...oh my."

Blaine felt a rush as he flashed back to about 3AM, when Sebastian coaxed Blaine upright and stopped between kisses to point them out in the large bedroom mirror. They were the picture of sex: hair tousled, lips reddened and swollen, naked skin glistening, sheets pooled at their waists. Blaine had stared, mesmerized. The green eyes gazed upon them in the mirror as well, Sebastian's expression almost reverent. He had pressed his chest against Blaine's back, buried his lips in his neck again, trailing his hands across his chest, grazing the soft hair and making him tingle. "Oh god, Tina it was so hot. And beautiful...and sweet...and passionate...and tender. I felt so...close to him. And it was _so hot_..."

"You mentioned that it was hot," Tina chuckled.

Blaine smiled at himself. "Sorry, I'm a little sleep deprived."

Tina smirked. "I bet," She twisted a lock of hair around her finger as she teased, "Hah, all that sexing after you kept telling me all week that you guys were not going to sleep together!"

Blaine bit his lip tentatively. "I know, I know. We just couldn't help ourselves. We were having such a great day and evening together, trying to stay in the moment and making the most of the end of our time together..."

I know," Tina said, grinning. "I heard you two were making out on the back of every ride at Disney World and that you were drooling over Sebastian's wet t-shirt all afternoon."

Blaine gaped indignantly and hit his roommate's arm. Sam mouthed, "What?!"

"That's not true, I was not drooling over his t-shirt...I was drooling over what was UNDER his t-shirt," Blaine said haughtily before he burst into a smile again. His eyes sparkled. "But seriously, T - it was really so romantic, too - walking down Main Street, through Cinderella's Castle, cuddling while we watched parades, he even danced with me in the street during one of them." He smiled fondly as he continued. "Then after dinner we went karaoking and he sang "Stay" by Dave Matthews to me. It was so…" Blaine felt weak in the knees all over again. "God, he got me in the feels."

Tina teased, "Let me guess, if he serenaded you then you had to serenade him right back, of course."

Blaine laughed as he went on. "Actually we duetted! Rob made him sing 'Opposites Attract' with me and we could not stop laughing! We barely made it through the last verse!" Blaine bubbled over with happiness.

Tina broke into a wide smile. "Sebastian Smythe sang Paula Abdul with you?! Seriously? Please tell me there is video!"

"I wish! Seb got a hold of Sam's phone and deleted it, " Blaine laughed.

"Oh no! Okay, then what happened?"

Blaine was a bit starry eyed. "We got back to the hotel and we were talking about Paris and wanting to go on a real first date together…"

"Mmm…" Tina hummed dreamily. "And then?"

Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "And then we heard a Prince song playing outside."

"Say no more, I remember him having eyesex with you during "Raspberry Beret" on New Year's Eve. And Sam told me you two were about to hump on the table at a karaoke bar after you sang the New Girl Prince song." Tina chuckled. "I love that Sebastian has a _musical_ , sexual Achilles heel with you."

Blaine twisted his mouth to one side. "Yeah, I think I may have one, too - him shirtless in Armani trousers leaning against a set of French doors." He licked his lips at the image.

Tina chuckled indulgently. "That's...specific." She added gingerly, "And you're doing okay today?"

Blaine looked wistful. "I'm okay, I just miss him so much already - I was texting you to distract myself, to be honest." He sighed and shrugged. "But, our plans for spring quarter still stand, we're still going to take it slow and not be boyfriends yet. I feel good about that and the fact that we didn't have sex all week until last night. There were actually a lot of romantic moments, which I know you didn't believe he was capable of." He paused to contemplate the sum total of the week. "Who knows if it was a mistake to sleep together? I guess the sex probably made the goodbye even harder than it had to be, but it is what it is. C'est la vie. All I can do now is look at the upside of it. And there was a LOT of upside." He smiled softly.

"I bet there was a lot of upside, downside and a lot of other positions," chuckled Tina. "Well, I'm glad you don't have regrets. And hey, listen to you, you're so...you're so much less angsty and moony than you were the morning after the first time you slept with him!"

"I am, aren't I?" Blaine said, looking pleased.

"Yep," Tina said proudly. "I'd call that progress."

"Aww...Thanks for noticing, Tay-Tay." Blaine's eyes grew bright. "Oh, speaking of progress, I also wanted to give you the other important newsflash." He snuggled against the plane window as he said with deep satisfaction, "Seb and I are officially dating!"

[ ](http://imgur.com/tGfykGI)

"Shocker," Tina said with a smirk.

Blaine's face fell before his expression turned sour. "Hey...this is a big deal!"

Tina was mildly apologetic. "Sorry Blainers, I couldn't resist. But you have to admit, as much as you and Sebastian are resisting the label, you guys are emotionally there. You're basically boyfriends. You're not dating anyone else."

"We are not! Come on, not dating anyone else does not automatically mean you're boyfriends. If that was the case than Jeremiah was my boyfriend!" Blaine rubbed the back of his own neck. "Technically speaking, Sebastian and I were not dating this quarter - I mean we didn't have any phone sex at all…"

The thirteen year old girl in the seat next to Sam smirked. Blaine blushed and lowered his voice. "But by the end of the week we realized that somehow, without going on a single official date, we had been dating." He smiled and continued earnestly, "You know, what you do with someone in the beginning, before you start getting more serious and introduce them to your parents and stuff...and when you start to refer to him as your boyfriend. After dinner last night Sam and Rob (Seb's roommate) told us that they had been watching us all week and that even if we didn't want use the word 'boyfriend,' we had to at least admit that we are dating."

Blaine was now glowing. "And even Sebastian had to concede that. I mean, we were kissing whenever we could from the moment we saw each other. And it was clear we felt romantic about each other, it wasn't just physical. And it was clear it wasn't a vacation fling. Rob said there is no other way to describe what we are to each other." He stopped to chuckle. "I love Rob, he just TOLD us that he would be telling their friends that Sebastian is dating me."

"Hah, he sounds ballsy."

"He is, but he's not obnoxious about it. He's just honest and said he wasn't going to lie to their friends. I think Sebastian respects him for it. He lets Rob do things and say things he doesn't even let Santana do. I call that progress, too - for him."

Tina lay down on her bed. "I gotta meet this Rob guy, he must be somethin.'" She twisted a lock of hair around her finger. "I didn't realize hadn't at least been telling your friends at school that much. Personally, even without the phone sex, I think you've been dating since your birthday party..."

Blaine smiled. "Maybe we have been. I certainly haven't stopped feeling romantic about him since my birthday party, though all we've had is e-mail, Skype and phone calls. It's been sweet - it's felt like dating even though there hasn't been very romantic or intimate elements like phone sex. Especially this week. So I guess we've been dating all this time without going on dates," he chuckled. "But it's nice to make it official and tell my friends." He smiled still wider. "My friend Liam is going to laugh at me, he has been calling Seb my boyfriend all quarter even though I told him he's not. I told him that it's complicated."

Tina joked, "Is that what you'll make your Facebook status?"

"Of course not..." Blaine smiled with delight. "I'm going to just put that I'm in a relationship with him. Finally!" Then a look of unease appeared on his face. "Oh man...I'm going to have to tell Kurt."

Tina raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Oh, yeah. You know Sam's going to tell people. You'd better tell Kurt before someone else does."

"Right," said Blaine, looking slightly anxious. He turned to whisper urgently to his roommate, who was holding his head with one hand and trying to hold up a comic book to read with the other. "Sam! Have you told Kurt or anyone that Sebastian and I are now dating?"

"No. Too hungover," Sam mumbled.

Blaine looked relieved and said into the phone, "Thank goodness, Sam hasn't told anyone yet. Okay, I'd better…"

Tina interrupted. "Wait, before you go, I have a related newsflash of my own..."

"What?"

"Kurt's dating someone, too."

Blaine stopped still for a moment before he took a breath and let the news sink in. "Oh, that's great. I mean it was weird to hear at first, but really, it's great," he said earnestly.

"It's not serious or anything," Tina said soothingly.

Blaine stared out the plane window at the blue Florida sky, trying to grasp how much their lives had changed in six months. "Well, even if it were, I don't have any right to judge." He looked guilty. "I mean Sebastian and I are trying to stem the tide and not get in too deep emotionally too soon, but you can't really control how you feel. When I look back on this quarter and face facts, the truth is I've been 100% head over heels in love with him since Christmas and I can't help it. All I can do is keep trying to take things slow so I don't freak him out."

"Freak him out how?"

"Oh, like saying 'I love you," too soon - that kind of thing."

Tina smiled. "Oh, I wouldn't worry - from the way Nick tells it, Sebastian's been head over heels, in his dark Sebastian way, since the moment you met. How did Nick put it? 'It was the textbook definition of love-at-first-smile.'

Blaine smiled softly. "Nick's a romantic, always has been. Sebastian _wanted me_ the moment he laid eyes on me." His expression grew concerned. "Sure, it's grown and now I think he has love for me - but it's just not clear to me how long it will last. He doesn't even believe in soulmates." He swallowed and continued bravely. "But I hope we can build something lasting. I think we could." He watched a plane take off in the distance. "I think it could be so amazing. Really. I could see...now this is the romantic inme that's just as bad as Nick...but I could see spending the rest of my life with him."

Sam gave Blaine a furtive sideways look. Tina's eyebrows raised. "Wow..."

Blaine looked wary. "I know I know, you aren't sure if he's good enough for me. And maybe I'm not either yet...we're still getting to know each other." His handsome eyes grew a little brighter. "But if I had to lay a bet...I could see us fitting together forever. That's what I feel in my heart."

Tina said gently, "B, I know I was harsh after you first slept with him. But I didn't say 'wow' because I don't think he's good enough for you. It's more…" She hesitated as she thought of how to phrase it delicately. "You. You've only been dating for three months _long-distance_ and you're already talking about spending the rest of your life with him. And you're so excited about changing your Facebook status..."

Blaine was suddenly irked. "Tina Cohen-Chang, you are too young to be bitter. What's so wrong with wanting to share with my friends that I'm with exploring a new kind of relationship with him? And I told you that the 'spending the rest of life' thing is just the romantic in me. I know it's early and we can't possibly know for sure if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I was just sharing how I feel." He crossed his arms and Sam looked at him with his brows lifted.

Tina scrambled to recover. "Blaine, don't be mad. I guess I am just a little worried because it's a little…" _It's a little too much like you were with Kurt,_ she thought. She shook her head and decided to just backpedal. "Maybe you're right, maybe I'm still not totally sold on Sebastian. But I really am getting there, Blaine. I'm trying. We had a good time with everyone when he came to LA last quarter," she finished faintly. "He really is very smart and funny. And he and Nick were kind of cute together. And I can tell Nick loves him a lot. And I could tell he was trying with me. That counts for a lot in my book. I can't imagine he does that very often."

"Almost never," Blaine said, his lip still slightly thrust out. He sighed, unable to hold on to his anger when Tina was so sincere. "I appreciate your concern, T. I really do. I know you're really trying, too. And I know he's hard to trust right away, he keeps his walls up so often. But I trust my heart. I just really have never felt like this with anyone before. I feel so connected with him. Like I understand him and appreciate him like no one else ever could. And I feel like he's the same way about me. I've never felt so cared for or so understood than I do when I'm with him. I know it's hard to imagine that because you and Sam and my family love me so much. But with Seb...I feel so special and amazing when I'm with him. He's such a passionate person in general, but when he aims it all at me I just radiate with...well, love. And I know he isn't like that with anyone else."

"You think he cares about you like no one else...so why do you worry about saying 'I love you' too soon?" Tina asked, trying to hide her concern.

Blaine paused and bit his lip. "It's still so early for us. I don't know if he's even sure if it's love. He's never said 'I love you' to anyone, from what I know. Except maybe his mom, of course. And I think it was just "I love you, too." And it was only on Christmas day, never over the summer when I heard him on calls with her. And besides her, no one. I haven't even heard him tell Santana he loves her in a platonic way."

Both Blaine and Tina had the same thought. "Santana..."

"Oh no, what if Sebastian tells Santana..."

"Go, go...CALL HIM!"

"Okay," Blaine said breathlessly, his mind starting to whirl. "I'll call you later when I get back to Scotland or on my layover."

"Just go, go call him and make sure he hasn't told Santana!"

"Okay, Bye!"

...

Sebastian's brow furrowed as he stood up in the Delta premier lounge, sliding a finger across the screen of his phone. "Blaine? Aren't you supposed to be 30,000 feet in the air right now?"

Blaine's heart felt a too familiar longing at the sound of Sebastian's voice. "Hi, baby," he said softly. "There are air traffic issues so we're still on the tarmac."

Sebastian walked over to look out a window. Blaine was still just outside. "That sucks," he said, his heart twisting.

"Yeah." Blaine took a breath and continued tentatively, "But at least...it's given me some time to think. And I realized...I want to ask you a favor. So I'm actually glad I have a little extra time to talk to you before we take off."

Sebastian looked concerned at the trepidation in Blaine's voice. "What is it? Babe, are you okay? You sound worried."

Blaine was flustered. "I'm fine, I'm just...I'm just tired." It was time to rip off the bandaid. "It's just...I was thinking of writing Kurt an email..."

Sebastian interrupted without thinking. "I don't see what I can do for you about that. You certainly don't need my permission." He should have sounded more casual, but his filter was apparently ragged on so little sleep.

Blaine winced at Sebastian's irritated tone. "I know. It's just...well, I wanted to tell him that you and I are dating now."

Sebastian's eyebrows lifted. "Oh." He didn't know what think. _What, does he want Holy Hummel's consecration?_

Blaine's voice was earnest. "You know, just as a courtesy, so he doesn't hear about it from someone else first. Which is why I wanted to talk to you. Have you talked to Santana since we said goodbye at the gate?" His heart felt heavy at the thought of the last kiss: the feeling of Sebastian's strong arms surrounding him so tightly, the achingly intimate press of his body, the scent of his skin, the tears in their eyes.

"No," Sebastian replied in a monotone, trying to block out the same memory. "I'm too dead on my feet to be social this morning."

Blaine was shaking himself to press on. "Good - I didn't want her to tell him by accident before he opens his email. Can you wait to tell her until you hear from me?"

"Sure." Sebastian was certain there was a crack to be made about Santana's pushy enthusiasm for his relationship with Blaine, but it was escaping him due to the unfortunate image of Hummel's smug gay face, once again center stage in his brain, blocking Blaine from view.

The logical side of Sebastian knew that Blaine was doing this because...he was Blaine. He was thoughtful and he truly cared about everyone and he always tried to minimize pain for everyone. Sebastian actually loved those things about Blaine. All the same, something inside him still felt gutted at the idea of Blaine communicating with his ex-fiancé again.

"I told Sam not to tell anyone yet, either." Blaine was saying with the determination of a PR director. "I'm also going to ask Kurt to let me know when he receives the message, even if he doesn't want to reply." He looked worried for a moment at the idea, but reminded himself that Kurt was also dating someone else. _He's probably going to be fine with all of this. He doesn't really hate Sebastian anymore._

Blaine shook himself and continued. "Then we can tell my family and Santana. And your family, if you want."

Sebastian shrugged slightly as he turned away from the window and examined the sole of his shoe. "I'll just tell my mom when I talk to her next."

Blaine tapped his lips and he thought about what to do next. "And then I guess we can change our Facebook statuses." He smiled at the idea, imagining all the 'likes' and comments he was going to get.

Sebastian frowned at the idea, imagining all the 'likes' and comments he was going to get. He asked in an ambivalent tone, "Okay...so what exactly do you want me to change my Facebook status to?"

Blaine paused, looking worried at the less than enthusiastic tone of Sebastian's voice. He backpedaled quickly. "Oh, well you don't have to change it, of course. I know you're never on Facebook. But I was going to change mine to 'in a relationship with,' and tag you," he finished lamely, suddenly feeling like a 12 year old girl in the face of his very sophisticated, very private, lover.

Sebastian asked seriously, "B, do you think that's a good idea? Won't people assume we're boyfriends? Isn't that what we've been trying to avoid until we get our act together?"

Blaine looked slightly pained and Sam, who was now listening to his headphones next to him, tried to pretend he hadn't noticed. "Well, being in a relationship with you doesn't necessarily mean you're my boyfriend," he said weakly. "If there was a "is boyfriends with" status, then I wouldn't choose that. I think the 'in a relationship' status…" He paused to fumble for an explanation, "is meant to capture a range of dating stages."

Sebastian didn't miss the disappointment in his voice. He couldn't have that. "That's true," he reasoned quietly, trying to make his voice sound supportive. "Anyway, it doesn't matter what other people assume or think, what matters is what we know." He added, "What matters is what we want to do." He tried to think of something else more comforting to say. He could picture Blaine's subdued face and the silence was deafening. "B? Still there?"

"I'm here," Blaine said, trying to compose himself.

Sebastian's felt worse and his voice softened. "Babe, don't get me the wrong way, I wasn't trying to persuade you to not change your Facebook. And I don't want you to think I'm embarrassed about this 'dating' label or about being called your boyfriend, whenever we're ready for that. We've talked about this before, whenever we're ready to do it, I'd be proud to be your boyfriend, your lover...your Rice Krispie treat, whatever you want to call me. I really don't care, as long as we're...us. Remember, I'm yours on any terms."

Blaine laughed and felt tears come to his eyes. "Well, we haven't talked about Rice Krispie treats."

Sebastian continued gently, "I just don't want to put too much pressure on us, whether it's internal or external pressure. Pressure that could screw us up. I don't want to screw us up."

Blaine nodded, feeling reassured enough to press forward. "I understand what you mean, but...I don't know...I feel like our friends are putting pressure on us already."

"Well, yeah," Sebastian admitted. "At least busybodies like Nick and Tana..."

"Some of my RC and my other McKinley friends were teasing me, too. So a new Facebook status probably won't change much. It might even get some of them off our backs."

"Or get more of them _on_ our backs."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Oh Seb, that is not the way Facebook has to work. I want to change my status because I want to share this with my friends. I wanted to share what Rob and Sam pointed out to us - that you and I aren't just friends. Sure we're trying to be careful and take it slow, but we _are_ in a relationship - we're dating. We feel romantic about each other." He prodded with a teasing smile, "At least I feel romantic about you. You _do_ you feel romantic about me, don't you, Mr. Snarky- Waters- Run- Deep?"

[ ](http://imgur.com/nfFtHuW)

Sebastian shook his head and smiled. "You know I do, honey- bear- lover- darling- dearest- sweetheart- sunshine- of- my- life- apple- of- my- eye."

Blaine laughed heartily. "I feel like Seinfeld about that 'schmoopy' couple. But at least now I know we'll be able to get through the next couple of months. I'm glad to hear you can express yourself during another period where you won't be able to cop a feel to show me that you care."

Sebastian chuckled. "I'm capable of a sonnet or two when a gun is held to my head."

Blaine shook his head and continued with a smile. "But seriously, I love the fact that we're dating, and I want to share it with my friends. They'll congratulate me and I'll appreciate knowing that they care about it and support it. And if any of them ask about it, I will tell them that we're taking it slow, and they'll be supportive of that too and their support will help me stay strong in our plan to do that."

Sebastian nodded, marveling again at how different he and Blaine were. "Well sure, that makes sense for you, babe. That's how you and your friends operate. Just don't be offended if I don't change mine, okay? There are a lot of Stanford people on Facebook who don't know who you are - not because I'm embarrassed about you, but because it just hasn't come up. There might even be some Dalton lacrosse or soccer or drama or debate guys who, by some miracle, did not hear from Duvall about our New Year's kiss. And unlike you, I don't like fielding a lot of questions. I don't need them to know all of my business." _Especially if I screw things up._ He added quickly, "But again, that's not because I'm ashamed of you or something. You know I have most of the people in my life on a need-to-know basis."

Blaine smiled sympathetically. "I know, and I believe you. And I appreciate your understanding." He furrowed his brow. "But we have a lot of Dalton friends in common, do you want me to block them from seeing my status? I think there might be a way to doing that. I know you're a private person and I want to respect that, too."

"No, don't bother, everyone we know in common is a Warbler and you know Sam's going to tell Nick and all the Warblers he knows from your wedding weekend and then it's all over anyway. Those two are like a couple of bored housewives when they get together."

Sebastian glanced up to see Rob gesturing at him. He grimaced and nodded as he stood up. "Hey B, I'm going to have to go soon. It looks like we're boarding." He picked up his messenger bag and threw it on his shoulder. "I can call you back once we're settled. Coach always takes forever to board after us."

Blaine felt a stab at the idea of Sebastian getting on his plane and heading in the opposite direction. "No, it's okay." He added gloomily, "I'm not sure I want to say goodbye to you over and over today."

Sebastian felt his heart plummet as he pictured Blaine's beautiful, sad face. His thoughts wandered and there was a long, awkward silence. Finally he swallowed thickly and said, "I shouldn't have come half naked into your room last night with a packet of lube in my pocket, huh? It's making this so much harder than it had to be. It was a mistake, wasn't it? I screwed us up again."

Blaine shook his head. "No, baby. Making love with you could never be a mistake. But..."

"But something happened last quarter or this week…" Sebastian finished for him, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows in the terminal as he followed Rob. "And we're now incapable of just having a hot fuck."

Blaine nodded. "At least not when we know we have to leave each other the next day."

"Don't say that, I don't want to think we could have done it all week." Sebastian grimaced. "Let's just assume it would have been bad."

Blaine teased, "Sex with you is never bad..."

Sebastian smiled in spite of himself. "Stop it, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I won't even consider the possibility that we made a mistake of such mammoth proportions and missed out on five days of sex. And anyway, I think it's true. I mean we were getting so...I mean even that Roman slave bit didn't last long..."

"No, it didn't did it?" Blaine returned softly, drawing a deep breath as he remembered kissing tenderly down Sebastian's beautiful, sheet-draped body. "Regardless, if these goodbyes are too weepy today it's not all your fault, I would have come over to your room a minute later if you hadn't come to mine."

There was another awkward pause. Sebastian finally spoke up in his matter-of-fact tone. "Well, what's done is done. And you know what? I don't regret it, either. Today might suck because of last night, but it was worth it. Now we just have to tough it out. It got better last quarter after a week or two, right?"

Blaine replied briskly, "Right. Okay, I'm with you - let's just push through and get it over with. We should just say goodbye. Text me when you land, and I'll text you when I land and we can decide if we want to check in with a call if you're not too exhausted or napping. Part of this misery is sleep deprivation..." His voice was a little tremulous as he tried to explain bravely, "I'm always more emotional when I'm tired. I hate it when I get like this." But then he finally broke, in spite of his efforts. "I just hate this, I just I miss you so much already. I wish we didn't have to leave..."

Sebastian winced and his words spilled out too quickly. "B, _don't_. I can't...I can't yet." He heard an unexpected emotional edge in his own voice. His hand came up to cover his eyes and he slowed his pace, dropping slightly further behind Rob as they arrived at their gate. "Sorry. That was a shitty thing to say. I know, I wish we didn't have to leave, either."

Blaine bit his lip. "It's okay, I'm the one who should be sorry...God, it's like I'm incapable of anything but a weepy goodbye with you today, even on the phone."

"Don't be sorry. You wouldn't be you without a bit of weepiness." Sebastian said with a sympathetic expression. He missed Blaine so much he squeezed his eyes shut for a second. "If you think you're bad, I'm worse. I don't even want to open my mouth because I know I will disintegrate into a blubbering moron right here at gate 46. It feels like if I don't hold my shit together Roy what's-his-name is going to drop from the ceiling and interview me."

"Roy Firestone," Blaine wiped tears from his eyes as he laughed softly.

Rob moved forward in line and Sebastian stepped behind him, encouraged by Blaine's laughter. He lowered his voice as he handed the attendant his boarding pass and made his way down the jet bridge. "See? I can't even remember a simple sports reference because all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you again and touch the back of your neck and feel you collapse against my chest and tangle your fingers in mine. All I can think about is how I want to hijack your plane before it takes off and exchange Rob for you and take you back to Stanford. I'm a freaking mess and all of this is your fault, Anderson."

Blaine's eyes blurred with tears as his lips curved into a loving smile. "I miss you too, baby."

…

Blaine took a deep breath as he opened up his IPad and keyboard.

_To: Kurt Hummel_

_From: Blaine Anderson_

_Date: March 30, 2014_

_Subject: News_

_Dear Kurt,_

_I know we said we wouldn't talk until the summer, but I wanted to give you some news before you heard it from someone else. I'm guessing you heard from Santana or someone that Sebastian and I kissed at midnight at Mike's New Year's Eve Party, but I wanted to let you know that as of this week, Sebastian and I are officially dating._

_It's not serious yet - we're not even using the word 'boyfriend' yet, but because I know how you feel about him I wanted to tell you personally. I know you've never liked him, but he's grown up a lot since we were at McKinley. He treats me very well and I think he's very good for me - we sort of complement each other. I'm happy._

_I hope you are happy, too. I always wish happiness for you, Kurt._

_I hope we can catch up in June still. Do let me know if and when you'd like to, whenever you can. Please give my love to the girls and your family._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

_P.S. Would you mind letting me know when you've read this, even if you don't have time to or don't want to reply? I asked Sebastian not to tell our news to Santana until I got to tell you myself. When you confirm receipt, I'll let him know he can talk to Santana._

_..._

A few hours later, Kurt sat with his laptop at the kitchen table. Rachel stood at his shoulder.

_To: Blaine Anderson_

_From: Kurt Hummel_

_Date: March 30, 2014_

_Subject: Re: News_

_Hi Blaine,_

_It's good to hear from you. I appreciate you giving me the heads-up about you and Sebastian. I can't say I'm surprised. I'm glad he's treating you well and that you're happy._

_I'm dating someone too, a guy named Jeremy here at NYADA. He's great - on the quieter and serious side, but also very sweet and has a fun sense of humor when you get to know him. It's not serious either, which is why I hadn't said anything to you about him yet. It's only been a month or so, and we go on a date a week, maybe - I'm still pretty focused on NYADA and Vogue. But I'm happy._

_I would definitely still like to talk in June, let's check in by phone then and see how we are doing - hopefully we can coordinate to say hi if we're both in Ohio at the same time over the summer, too. I look forward to catching up. Have a great final term in Scotland._

_Love,_

_Kurt_

...

Rob shook Sebastian awake. "Seb, we're about to touch down and your phone is going off."

Sebastian rubbed his eyes and pulled the phone from his pocket to silence the nonstop stream of text-tones going off. He sat up straighter and stretched before typing out a text, ignoring the looks from passengers around them.

_SEB: Back at SF. Still missing you after a 5 hour nap. This could be a very long quarter. Text me when you land._

"You were so tired you forgot to turn your phone off," Rob remarked, looking amused. "And you're not even turning it off now? You don't care if a flight attendant gets in your face, do you?"

Sebastian shrugged as he started to look at the messages on his phone. "I never turn it off when I fly. You're studying engineering, you should know that not even the twenty-four karat gold IPhone's signal can take down twelve thousand pounds of Boeing engineering."

"You are a piece of work," Rob shook his head as the plane wheels hit the ground.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and waved his phone at his roommate. " _You_ are the piece of work. Blaine must have changed his Facebook status. I'm getting an onslaught of unwanted social media attention and I have _you_ to thank for it."

"I just call it like it is," Rob said mildly as he turned his own phone on.

"Did you have to call it in front of Blaine?" Sebastian said with a small sigh, as he continued to scroll through the message list. "All of these texts are from our boarding school friends. Most of them are even texting us both in one message now."

_NICK: It's about time, you two! Will call you soon for details.  
_

_DAVID: Are you back yet? I just landed at OAK, but I could be at Stanford for dinner. Nick's already all over me. You know he won't let up until we feed your public. :) Call me._

_JEFF: Hallelujah! You guys are so cute together. 3_

_TRENT: A little birdie told me you two are a thing now. Sebastian Smythe is someone's boyfriend. Blaine's boyfriend, no less. I never thought I'd see the day. ; ) Look forward to seeing what this looks like on you two!  
_

_MEATBOX: Finally_

_THAD: Whoo hoo! Double lead soloist combo supreme pizza! :D_

Rob looked up at his roommate with a frank expression. "What's so wrong with Blaine changing his Facebook?"

Sebastian looked slightly frustrated. "Nothing...for him. We're just different that way, he likes to talk stuff through with his friends. But we have a lot of friends in common and I don't welcome them all knowing about us and bugging me about it. One of them is already calling us boyfriends." He looked out his window for a moment. "I'm guessing there were bets made between Warblers about us getting together, and there will be bets made about us breaking up." He continued to scroll. "Damn, there are probably twenty or thirty messages in here." He started typing a second text to Blaine:

_SEB: Can you deal with Trent?_

Rob looked at him mildly. "Seb, is it so bad that Blaine is so happy about you guys that he wants to shout it from the rooftops?"

Sebastian stared out his window some more, silently acknowledging the upside of going public: Blaine's happiness about it.

Rob continued gently, "And since when have you cared about what other people think? What matters is that you know everything's going to be okay."

Sebastian gave his roommate a doubtful glance. "We'll see." He took a deep breath. "Well, I guess it's out there now - it is what it is." He gave his message list another scan. "Wait, there isn't one from Blaine. I figured by the time he was at his layover…" He furrowed his brow. "So Hummel must have told someone without telling Blaine. But he doesn't talk to the Warblers... how can all these Dalton guys know?"

His phone rang and he glanced at it before looking to Rob and shaking his head. "Ugh, this is such a clusterfuck. It's Santana. Hummel must have told her. Which means she's about to yell at me."

Rob chuckled. "Tell her I said hi."

Sebastian shrugged and rolled his eyes before turning his bluetooth on and answering in a leisurely tone. "Hello, Yeasty. Isn't this fine weather we're having?"

"How come I had to hear from Berry about your engagement?!" Santana demanded.

"I'm in wonderful health and I had a lovely vacation, thanks for asking, darling."

"Are you going to answer me or do I have to reach through this phone and thrash your skinny ass to get it out of you? How come you didn't tell me you and Preppy Dwarf are finally admitting what we've all known since Christmas?!"

Sebastian replied with an amused expression. "I was getting there. I was just about to text you, Mija…"

"You're going to call me that now, really? Like you're not in enough trouble?"

Sebastian chuckled and finally explained. "San, I literally just landed from Orlando. We haven't even quite docked the gate yet. I promised Blaine I wouldn't tell you until St. Kurt de A-sissy was given the proclamation and anointed with holy oil. It's not my fault Hummel couldn't keep his lip-glossed mouth shut long enough for Blaine to get off his plane and text me. So calm your pouty pretty face, you're still the first person I call to get judged and bitched at. What I want to know is, how can half of Dalton know and text me if Blaine presumably hasn't let Sam tell anyone yet and hasn't changed his Facebook status? You didn't tell Nick, did you?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "No, you hermit. Kurt didn't tell me, Berry said she was there when he opened the email from Blaine. Then she sent an obnoxiously bossy email to all the New Directions, telling them to be extra nice to Kurt. One of them must have told a Warbler." She paused for a moment to mentally survey her group of friends. "Blaine said that Mike is pals with a bunch of them now, that's probably what happened."

[ ](http://imgur.com/EiO0cTz)

"Berry thinks Hummel needs the kid glove treatment? Did he need smelling salts and have to unlace his corset?"

"You wish. He's fine. He's dating someone new. Berry just wants her two best gays to get back together so she's overreacting as usual. She's such a drama queen."

Sebastian chuckled. "Takes one to know one. You are always complaining about her, but you two are birds of a feather." He laughed outright. "You would be hilariously slutty in a little plaid skirt."

"Sometimes I really do think you're a closeted bi."

"For the last time, stop hitting on me - I only care for dick. But don't change the subject, you're soooo hot for Little Miss Whiny Tiny, aren't you?" teased Sebastian.

"About as much as you are for Kurt and Hunter Clarington," Santana arched an eyebrow and looked smug.

"Ugh," Sebastian shuddered. "Well played, Snix." He unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up, pulling his messenger bag out from the overhead and hanging it across his chest. "Speaking of hotness, how did the final goodbyes go with Dani?"

Santana looked guilty. "Okay. She was cool."

"She's a classy broad to have for an ex-girlfriend. And Brittany is still coming to visit next weekend?"

Santana looked ambivalent. "Yes."

Sebastian smiled. "If only I could be a fly on the wall to see her lure you back. If you two finally get your act together, maybe she can come with you out here for Fourth of July. I've got more miles expiring than I can use again."

Santana looked tremulously happy at the idea but refused to allow her tone to reflect it. "Will Mighty Mouse be trotting out in his highwaters for that?"

"Stop pretending you're not getting a lesbo boner just thinking about you and your Dancing Barbie on a California beach." Sebastian smirked and then returned the glare of an eavesdropping older passenger. "No, Blaine won't be here, he'll still be doing the backpacking thing with Sam. But afterwards he's coming out for a couple of weeks before he goes to spend some time with his folks. When my internship is over I'll head back home to check in with Nina before we drive Blaine's car out to wherever he goes to school." Sebastian's face showed a glimmer of his happiness at the prospect of their plans.

Santana let out a hoot of laughter. "Oh Slick, you've gotten even more smitten! I didn't think you could get more smitten but you are even more smitten, you Smitten Kitten!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Bitch!"

"Whore!" Santana laughed merrily. "Or maybe you can't be a whore now that Little B has you on his tidy little Izod leash! You can just be a whipped little bitch."

Sebastian rolled his eyes."Gawd, the last time you were this excited was when you discovered high-end edible underwear."

"The last time you were this excited about your summer plans was...well you've never been this excited about your summer plans! You sound like the spawn of Mrs. Butterworth! You're hard just thinking about Blaine's bubble butt on your lap on a San Francisco cable car!"

"Are you done yet?" Sebastian said, shaking his head and repressing a smile.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Aww, you're so sensitive about all this!" She added with a bit more sincerity, "Fine, you want the real deal? I don't say this often but I can genuinely say I'm proud of you, Fifel. You're finally taken that shrunken little heart of yours out for a spin and made an honest man out of my Baby Boy Blainers. Now he's your Baby Boy Boyfriend."

Sebastian took a breath. "I'm surprised Hummel didn't gloat about it to you, but Blaine and I aren't doing the boyfriend thing yet, he says we're not ready. We're _dating_ , but we're not boyfriends yet." He rubbed his forehead and chuckled, bracing himself.

"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!"

…

_BLAINE: Landed safely. It's midnight here but only 7 in Orlando so I'm not doing too bad, slept on the plane. Sleep helped a little, but I still miss you so much. Kurt emailed, so feel free to tell Santana. It looks like someone told Dalton. Kurt said Rachel was there when he opened my email, but that he swore her to secrecy, so I don't know how all those guys know. Mystery! Hope you're napping, call me if you're not. I'm guessing I won't be able to sleep for another couple of hours. Still missing you, too. XOXO_

…

Blaine was scrolling through texts on his phone as he stood slightly apart from Sam nuzzling Mary while they waited for the elevators. He smiled as he came across one of the few group messages Sebastian had replied to while Blaine was in the air.

_KITTY: B, word on the street says Dalton finally Got You Back. Hey Stanford, just a reminder - no steroids for our bossy boy wonder_

_SEB: Don't worry, Cupcake. I ordered Hunter to amp up your dosage instead. Hope you like big needles._

As they entered the elevator Sam remarked, "Ah, it's weirdly good to get back to this stinky old place."

Blaine whispered to Mary, "He missed you. He didn't give a single girl in Florida a bit of attention."

They opened their suite door and found Liam and Scott sitting on the couch eating Pringles, drinking beer and watching TV.

"Lads, it's almost 1 o'clock in the morning," Mary said with a chuckle. "I see you still have the key Blaine gave you IN CASE OF EMERGENCY."

"We were OUT OF BEER," chorused their friends.

Blaine came over to give his two friends a squeeze on the shoulder. "Hey you guys! It's so good to see you! We missed you!"

"Oh come now," teased Liam. "Sammy texted that you were snogging and humping Prince Preppy Beast all week. I'm surprised you remember our names. "

Blaine turned to glare at Sam who only shrugged and smiled innocently at him. Scott and Liam began sing acapella while they to strut around the room. Sam dropped his bag and joined them.

_[Hear "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" by The Flying Pickets on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify user / sebastianandblaine]:_

Liam jumped on the sofa.

_Ooh, I bet you're wondering' how I knew_

_'Bout your plans to make me blue_

He pulled the Tiffany framed picture of Sebastian and Blaine out of the throw pillows and pointed at Sebastian in the photo.

_With some other guy you knew before_

_Between the two of us guys you know I love you more_

_It took me by surprise I must say_

_When I found out yesterday_

_Don'tcha know that I_

Mary joined Sam and Scott, who were now synchronizing moves on the coffee table, making Blaine grin wider.

Liam pointed at Sam.

_Heard it through the grapevine_

_Not much longer would you be mine_

_Oh I heard it through the grapevine_

Liam wiped away imaginary tears.

_Oh I'm just about to lose my mind_

_Honey, honey yeah_

_(Heard it through the grapevine)_

_(Not much longer would you be my baby, ooh, ooh, ooh)_

Blaine applauded and laughed as the group bowed. "Liam, I'm going to be an even better wingman for you this quarter...I got some expert advice about it over vacation!"

"I'll believe it when I see it, Blainers!" Liam patted his cheek before settling down on the couch again.

Scott and Sam joined him and Sam began to enthuse about the convention. Mary and Blaine went to the refrigerator to get a beer for Sam and boil a pot of tea for themselves.

Mary rummaged for a package of cookies in the cabinet. "You don't want to go to bed, Blaine? You must be knackered from the flight." She laid the cookies on a plate on the kitchen table.

"I'm not doing too badly. My body is still on Orlando time." Blaine passed the beer over the back of the couch to Sam. "I slept a lot of the way." He sat down at the table and bit into a cookie. "Yum, I've missed Hit biscuits. Tell me, how was your week?"

"Good, just family craziness with the wedding and all."

"Your pictures on Facebook were beautiful. Your aunt made a gorgeous bride."

"Yes, yes, yes…" Mary waved a dismissive hand. "Forget about that, tell me everything about your time with the dishy Stanford millionaire." Her eyes twinkled. "Sam's e-mails were a little confusing. He said you and Sebastian were trying not to kiss, but you ended up kissing the whole time anyway?" She added slyly, "So he must have been as fit as you remembered."

Blaine's eyes crinkled up as a big smile shone on his handsome face. "Fitter. Is that a word? But yes, yes, yes, he was hotter than I remembered, and more beautiful, and more adorable, and kinder and funnier and sweeter...he was just perfect. We had so much fun: we went for walks, sang, we talked about everything under the sun, he even put up with our Harry Potter nonsense and went to the Potter Ball to make me happy and so we could slow dance; he even played quidditch for me! I'm so crazy about him."

Mary chortled as she poured their tea. "He must be crazy about you, too, to do all that convention business if he's not Potty for Potter like you and Sam."

"Oh Mary, you have no idea," Blaine laughed. "If you knew what a cool character he is most of the time and how much he made fun of our fanboying! He has never even read all the books!"

Mary's eyes grew questioning, but kind. "Now Sam said he 'got you to admit' that you're now dating. I hope he wasn't too beastly about it?"

"No," smiled Blaine, sipping at his tea. "He and Sebastian's roommate Rob were just...making an assessment. And they're right," he beamed with a shy sparkle. "We ARE dating. There's no other way to describe it, even if it was only for a week and there weren't real traditional-type dates. Unless you count the Skype dates and phone calls all winter quarter, but there was no kissing involved then."

"Sam made it sound like you made up for lost time!" Mary winked.

Blaine blushed. "I guess we did."

"So he's a great kisser? He lives up to the French part of his heritage?" Mary prompted with a fun-loving smile.

"Yes," Blaine's smile was almost giddy. "I guess I'm now officially dating the best kisser in the world..."

Mary studied him fondly before pausing to confirm, "So you're dating him, but he's not your boyfriend yet?"

[ ](http://imgur.com/Ym6nDgq)

Blaine felt his heart tighten, but he trotted out the party line as he stared into his mug. "Right. We decided that right after finals, before we saw each other." I want to focus on myself a bit longer." He looked reflective. "I guess I would look at it like this: fall quarter was just time I needed to stop reeling from my broken engagement; winter quarter was about establishing myself at school, strengthening my support system here..."

He looked up at Mary with an earnest expression. "Now I want to work on how to be alone and not be lonely. Like I was thinking of taking the train out to the Highlands for a few weekends this quarter to spend some time alone. It's something that's been hard for me since I was kid for a bunch of reasons. I want to be better at it before I get in too deep with Sebastian. It would be too easy to rely on him too much." He leaned on his elbows and rested his chin on hands. "He's so good to me, Mary."

Mary smiled fondly at him. "He must be, if your protective mate Sam thinks he's so ace."

Blaine took a deep breath and continued. "Sebastian says he isn't quite ready, either. He wants to work on balancing his life better, to open up to me more. Plus with him all the way in California it's so hard. We thought if we don't take on the 'boyfriend' label it might put less pressure on us when it gets frustrating."

"Wow, that sounds so sensible," Mary said. "I've never met a couple who approached their...couple-dom with so much precision."

Blaine's mouth twisted to one side as he sipped more of his tea. "Yeah, we might be overthinking it a bit...but we figure we'd better be safe than sorry. We both just really want this to work, and we're worried we might go too fast because we were friends first. He's never been in a relationship before and I've only been in one and I told you how bad I was at that."

Mary nodded. "Right."

Blaine absentmindedly broke a cookie in half, thinking out loud. "When I explain it to you it all makes perfect sense in theory." He let out a sigh and rolled his eyes.

"But in reality it's way harder to execute, and kind of starting to kill me. Like this week we kept trying to keep things breezy and light and just fun but we still ended up doing things that brought us closer and showed us how deeply we care about each other."

He looked into Mary's eyes as he started to tell his story. "Like he got this really high fever the second night we were there, he caught a 24 hour flu. So of course I was going to take care of him. But it kind of scared me, how worried I was getting and thinking about how I would feel if anything happened to him. Then he had this terrible fever dream and he was calling for me..."

He looked off into space, remembering Sebastian's face that night. "He was so raw. He was so sick and so vulnerable...oh, what it did to my heart. And when he woke up he was so sweet and grateful. You know, I find his alpha-male sophistication totally sexy, but I also love when he drops it just for me. It was all gone that morning after his fever broke, he wasn't too proud to apologize for some silly things he had done, and he was just so adorable and I fell for him more." Blaine stopped and grimaced. "Ugh, just talking about it makes me want to just throw caution to the wind and tell him I love him and that we have to be boyfriends and get married someday."

He looked sheepish as he continued. "But I know it's stupid because we're probably already in deeper than we should be. Its just so hard. But we'll be okay if I can just keep myself from going down the rabbit hole… that place where I could get so clingy and needy that he gets sick of me or freaks out for some other reason."

Mary said with empathy, "That does sound hard. It's like your head wants one thing to protect your heart, and your heart just says 'stuff it'!"

Blaine heaved a sigh. "Exactly." He laid his head on the kitchen table and Mary ran soothing fingers through his hair.. "God, I miss him so much. Kill me now."

"Poor Blaine…"

"Thanks for listening, Mary - you're the best. You have no idea how much I appreciate you listening to me and loving me even when I sound like a lovesick lunatic."

…

"AARRRRRRRRRRRGH," Sebastian yelled with frustration as he did his final sit-up on the living room floor.

Rob looked up from the sofa. "Hey, can you put a towel under you? You're sweating all over the place. That carpet smelled bad enough when we moved in here." He got up and grabbed Sebastian's towel from the bathroom and tossed it on his roommate's face.

"GRMMPH," Sebastian didn't move a muscle, simply growling unintelligibly from under the towel.

[ ](http://imgur.com/7eclOgo)

Rob knew better than to say anything but he said it anyway. "You're going to be fine." He knew what kind of muffled response he would get.

"Shut up Rob, what do you know?!"

…

Blaine headed towards his bedroom. As he closed the door he felt the exhaustion of the day finally hit him. He didn't even bother to unpack. After tiredly changing into his pajamas, washing his face and brushing his teeth he slipped under the covers of his twin bed. What a change after the luxurious linens of the Ritz.

His phone buzzed with a Skype phone call. A loving look crossed his face as he reached for it and answered sleepily, "Hey."

"Hey." Sebastian looked worried at the sound of Blaine's voice. "Were you asleep?"

"No, but I'm getting there. I'm in bed," Blaine adjusted his pillows.

"Same. Just did crunches and took a shower. Sleepy. In bed." Sebastian rolled on his side, trying to get comfortable.

Blaine smiled and yawned. "Aw, your last vacation nap. I wish I could curl up with you. I miss you, baby." He snuggled closer to the duvet, wishing it was Sebastian's warm body.

"I miss you, too." Sebastian closed his eyes, not sure he could take anymore. He searched for a more innocuous topic. "I miss the Ritz, too," he said tiredly. He hastened to add, "Not as much as I miss you, of course."

Blaine chuckled. "I know. You are so sweet with your damage-control-follow-up." He paused to yawn again. "Before you called I was missing the Ritz, too. My twin mattress is feeling awfully small."

"I was just thinking my queen mattress is feeling awfully big." Sebastian felt his heart take another hit. "And it fucking blows."

Blaine heart panged, too. He said sympathetically, "Aw, Seb. Remember we're lucky. We're lucky we can afford to call each other, and we can Skype tomorrow."

"It's not the same," Sebastian grumbled. "You belong here with me...with your sexy bedhead on the side bit of my chest, tucked on the front of my shoulder...what did you call it?"

"Your nook," Blaine finished for him, closing his eyes. "The nook between your chest and your arm. My favorite place to relax in the world."

"I thought Disney World was your favorite place to relax in the world," Sebastian said sleepily. "So if I come to LA when you are there next, you'll let Cooper and Nick go off to Disneyland while you stay in bed with me in my nook?"

"Well if you want to be specific, my absolute favorite place in the world to relax is in your nook on 'It's A Small World,'" Blaine smiled, his eyes still closed.

"But what about in my nook, naked and sated after several rounds of sex with me in a five star hotel in Paris?"

"Well I haven't done that, so how am I to know?" Blaine said, smiling softly with his eyes now firmly closed to picture the scene.

"I think you can imagine," Sebastian's eyes were shut, too.

"I think you're going to have to demonstrate what you mean by that."

"Don't tempt me, I have a lot of frequent flier miles, I could come kidnap you tomorrow."

"Don't tease me, I would be packed and waiting."

"I'm not teasing."

Blaine was suddenly tired of dreaming about what he couldn't have. "Stop it, you know you have an 8AM class tomorrow."

Sebastian smirked, "I'll just tell the professors I'm a late add next week. People shop for classes their first week here."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Sebastian Chase Smythe, you are so ridiculous. You know you have to rehearse for Nationals, too."

"I'll just drop out of glee club. They're not the Warblers, they wouldn't put a hit out on me."

Blaine groped for a snappy comeback. "You can't drop out, you have a solo for Nationals. And they keep you sane on that campus. MC and Rob and sports."

"I could go completely insane if I don't get to sleep with you tomorrow."

Blaine sighed. "Seb, I'm done. Why do I always have to be the boring one who stops the inappropriateness?"

"You don't have to be. I love it when you're the bad boy, too." Sebastian licked his lips. "I love it even more when we're bad together..."

Blaine sighed and said darkly, "I get it, you're horny. But I'm tired, we said no phone sex, and this is not a relaxing conversation to have before we go to sleep. It's not making me feel any better about missing you."

Sebastian's eyes opened wide and his eyebrows raised. "Whoa, okay I know we're beat from travelling, but from here on out, we _have to_ do Skype calls. I can't see your face to know when you're starting to change gears. You were just as willing as me to be distracted by my inappropriateness a minute ago," Sebastian's brow furrowed. "I'm sorry, babe. We should both just get some sleep."

Blaine looked contrite. "Don't be sorry Seb, I'm sorry I'm so moody - I have no excuse except maybe this long travel day. And that maybe I miss you so much that I don't know what to do with it," Blaine ran his hands through hair and stared at his alarm clock.

Sebastian pushed away his own exhaustion and tried to be comforting. "B, you're allowed to be cranky after a week of sleep deprivation and a, I don't know, 12 hour travel day? And you're not the only one. I bit Rob's head off earlier for no good reason. Just close your eyes and it will all seem better in the morning." He paused before adding softly, "Paris will come soon enough."

Blaine eyes were soft. "You're so good to me. Why are you so good to me, even when I'm grouchy?"

Sebastian answered quietly, "Because you deserve everything good in this world, B." _Because you ARE everything good in this world._ He wanted to run his fingers through Blaine's hair as his heart ached some more. "Now, are your eyes closed?"

"Almost. Can I at least meet you in Paris in my dreams?" Blaine asked sleepily.

"I'll be there." Sebastian mused. "In the Trocadero Gardens under the Eiffel Tower."

"Say it in French," Blaine murmured.

"It's not very different," Sebastian chuckled.

Blaine whispered with a dreamy smile, "Say it anyway with your French accent."

"Dans les Jardins de Trocadero sous la Tour Eiffel."

"Mmmm..." Blaine hummed pleasantly. _I love you._

Sebastian smiled fondly. "Bonne nuit, magnifique." _I love you._ "I'll Skype you tomorrow night at 10 your time."

"Good night, baby."

They hung up and lay there in their respective beds, with their eyes half open, for a long time, until they fell asleep.

...

 _TO: Blaine Anderson_  
FROM: Sebastian Smythe  
Subject: Throwback Thursday  
Date: April 3, 2014

_B-_

_Since we had to skip the call today (last night for you) I thought I'd check in with an old-fashioned email. It feels like a throwback to last quarter. I can't say that I miss this. Managing to schedule no early afternoon classes is easily the best thing I've done at Stanford. Even the mind-numbing practice of getting up for 8AM classes is worth it so we can talk almost everyday._

_The biggest and most annoying piece of news is that after we hung up yesterday, my dad called. I stupidly picked up and ended up letting him badger me into doing a law firm internship this quarter. He started by claiming I have rejected the law as a career in a knee jerk reaction to rebel against him. I didn't deny it, but you should be impressed that I didn't clarify that it wasn't so much to piss him off (though that's a bonus) as it was part of my ongoing, aggressive attempt to not develop into anything close to who he is as a human being. So after threats to once again be cut off from my gold card AND my beloved black card, I will be working in his friend's Silicon Valley incubator/ business law firm twice a week as a final act as the good-on-paper son who gave a legal career a fair shake. I'm assuming he wants to be able to tell his lawyer friends that I at least tried their noble profession. I am SO tempted to come in to the office drunk and shirtless one day._

_Rehearsal yesterday went okay. 23 days before nationals and it feels like crunch time. We really should have rehearsed more before spring break. Everyone kept pushing off extra rehearsals because of finals, saying "we can work on it after the break." Now I am making them eat their words. The good news is I made decent progress on my solo with Shannon and Greg - they are the seniors who actually are majoring in theatre and are currently taking voice lessons, aka the only ones who actually know what they are talking about. The idea is to ramp up my tone quality to be remotely near Tveit-worthy. I have a ways to go._

_The bad news is that the captains decided that some of the choreography I came up with for the rest of the crew is just too ambitious. I think they're being just being lazy, but whatever. Karen went home with me after rehearsal to re-choreograph the final section. We of course didn't have a studio to use at the last minute, so we just took my speakers and my taps out on the back patio of Roble. It wasn't long of course before we got pillows (Pauline and Roger); shoes (Rob), and a soccer ball (Thomas) thrown at us. Charlie shot nerf darts. I've never felt so loved._

_Susie the RA was around but didn't say a word about my disturbance of the peace. She should have come down on me on behalf of my fellow Roble scholars but she was just sitting in her window leaning her face on her hand, watching my sexy moves. I told you that flirting with her would pay off._

_Karen says hello, she asked more about you over dinner. She had heard a bit about Christmas and I gave her an abridged version of spring break, but she made me back up yesterday and I ended up telling her about Uptown Girl, drunken dancing at Scandals your first time, I Want You Back and even the rock-salt and senior year debacles. She was very Karen about it:_

_1) amused without being condescending about my fruitless initial chase after you;_  
 _2) laughed, but not too obnoxiously, about Nightbird (what the hell was Sam supposed to be again?) and the trophy;_  
 _3) thoughtful but not-judgmental about the slushie, the steroids, the proposal and cancelled wedding._

_I actually don't think I have ever told anyone our story all in one sitting like that - the whole yarn sounded like a bad musical soap opera._

_She said you must be something spectacular for me to jump through so many hoops for. Then I showed her "More Than a Feeling" on the Show Choir Nationals YouTube Channel and in like five seconds the reality of your flawlessness kicked in. She just said, "OH." I think she has some other opinions about it all she's not sharing with me yet, but someday I'll get them out of her. But aren't you proud of me for "letting her in"? I should call David._

_Our training run went well enough this morning, even though Jay went off on another one of his schmoopy-speeches about the Douche. There is a distinct possibility that Jay is a bigger romantic than you are, which I did not think was possible. He claims that he and the Douche are just friends, but sewe all know better. You should have heard him go on and on about him. I'm not sure who looked more bored, me or Thomas. Luckily Jay was looking straight ahead while we ran, rattling along._

_I don't think I told you, but The Douche ended up not seeing Jay at all over spring break, saying he ended up deciding at the last minute to join some community service project in Tijuana (Mexico). From what Rob tells me, no one does community service work in Tijuana - it's the closest town to the San Diego border and does relatively well on the American dollars college students bring to town to spend on beer. Service trips to Mexico go to villages and poorer cities. So it sounds like The Douche got a better offer somewhere and told a whopper. Meanwhile, Jay had passed on a trip to MLB spring training with the baseball guys. He ended up hanging out with his parents for his spring break instead._

_My theory (and Thomas agrees with me) is that The Douche is whoring around in San Diego and stringing Jay along because he likes the attention when he comes home up here. I'd bet that he'll try to get him in bed in a couple of weeks when the jackass is coming home for some family visit. The whole thing pisses me off, but Rob and Roger insist that Thomas and I keep our predictions to ourselves._

_I know you...and my dad (roll eyes here) will be happy to hear I signed up to volunteer with a club that does tutoring for 6th graders in East Palo Alto (the lower income town right next door to the loaded town of Palo Alto where Stanford is). Pauline recommended it as the service club whose leadership I would find the least annoying. She said they could use some help in their organization._

_I finished my lab for engineering and started on my econ paper outline. Things feel a little easier this quarter - just a little. Recruiting is a big piece off my plate but the tutoring will fill that and I swear the tri-training schedule Thomas has us on feels like it's almost more demanding than lacrosse. Almost. Midterms are going to require a big effort as usual, bracing myself. My engineering class could kill me - if I die, you can have my piano and everything else. Gomez is still the toughest in terms of volume but I've got a little more time to digest her reading assignments this quarter and they're still pretty interesting so I guess I shouldn't complain._

_I almost forgot, of course you're going to want to hear this. Karen stayed to study and Rob came back and joined us, so I magnanimously retired to my room early. And then, miracle of miracles, Rob finally scraped up the guts to finally ask her out! I didn't eavesdrop but the schmoopy tone I could make out was enough ammunition to torture Rob for months to come. Ah, good times ahead. After Karen left I came out to commence giving him hell but after Rob reluctantly confirmed my suspicions he bolted for his room and wouldn't open the door. Priceless._

_Well, hope that pubcrawl with your drama class compadres was worth missing your daily dose of Skype Smythe flirting. I'm going to assume we're on for our next call, unless I hear from you otherwise. No cancelling on me again with flattering claims that you miss my letters. I know you are romantic about the power of the written word, but I demand a Skype. If you would just change your major and transfer to Stanford tomorrow we wouldn't have to bother with all of this and I could talk to you and kiss you and fuck you properly everyday. Just kidding, of course. Mostly. Ignore me. I'm tired. Off to take a nap, that is the only good thing coming out of skipping our call today. Then engineering lab (groaning noise here.)_

_I'm guessing you won't see this until you are walking home in a half-liquid state from the pubs, so I'll also say good night, B. I do selfishly want you here. All the time._

_Yours,_

_S_

_..._

_TO: Sebastian Smythe_  
FROM: Blaine Anderson  
Subject: xoxo from Sunny LA

_DATE: April 13, 2014_

_Hi Beautiful,_

_Imagine this email is handwritten on that beautiful Italian stationary you got me last fall - instead of on my laptop in the LAX American Airlines terminal. Maybe that image will distract us from the fact that I've come all the way from Britain to California but I didn't get to see you. I can practically feel your beautiful eyes looking down on me from northern California. It breaks my heart a little._

_But it couldn't be helped, it was just bad luck that this was only weekend I could get away this month. I can hear you now, still kavetching that I should have let you ditch your schedule to come see me. But really it was your idea to torture your team with that dance bootcamp and you're leading the whole thing so you couldn't very well cancel it after arguing with the leadership to convince them to hold it :P (by the way, have I mentioned that I think it's wonderful you are doing that? The leadership you've taken of that group while you're still a freshman is so impressive.)_

_I look forward to hearing how it all went. I can't believe you had them rehearsing until 11 last night...sorry I fell asleep before we could check in :( Your texts were kind of funny though - maybe not to you, but to me LOL. I'm glad Karen and the others kept you in line, this is all a great lesson in patience, baby :D_

_Hmm, every other minute I keep thinking about just getting up from this gate and catching a flight to San Francisco. I'm just afraid if I miss any more of our Grease rehearsals Oliver is going to do something to sabotage me while my back is turned. I know he's dying to exercise his role as my understudy. Luckily, Maury has half the cast (the half that hasn't fallen for Oliver's charms) on red-alert for any funny business.  
_

_I still can't believe how intense rehearsals are for Grease. I'm thrilled that I get to play Danny and I'm happy to do the work and it's incredibly good training, but wow this production blows our pretty well funded (thanks to my dad and Mr. Motta) McKinley musicals out of the water! We actually are taking the time to clean our dancing so we can look like professionals. Probably similar to what you're trying to do with Mixed Company this weekend. It's heaven, even though it's super hard work. This is the big time, and I love it. I only wish Leela was here to be my Sandy. But Molly is doing a fine job. I wish you weren't in finals during our show week, I think you would like what we are putting together. All of Edinburgh comes out, they sell out every night every year and we have ten shows! I was wondering if I should just let Oliver do one show to throw him a bone. I can hear you right now, so I'll just say it for you: "NAH." :D_

_Anyway, more on my visit here... Nick says hey. It was great to see him, I love him so much. He looks so happy Seb, you really should see it. I think it's that girlfriend, he talks about her so much. He seems so relaxed and peaceful. I'm so thrilled for him. He dug for details on spring break and he's so happy for us. Spending time with him made me remember the days when we spent everyday together, we had so much fun. That feels like a million years ago, we were such different boys, we were so very young. I'm glad he's one of the ones I've kept in touch with pretty well from Dalton. Of course all the Warblers will always be a part of me - as the dreamboat Dalton valedictorian once said, "Once a Warbler, always a Warbler." :)_

_Talking about spring break with everyone (Cooper wanted details of course, too) made me miss you even more. I went to bed last night thinking about walking around that lake with you in that heat and how good the rain felt afterwards; dancing to that That Old Black Magic; kissing behind that tree in that hotel lobby; your smile, your soft hair, your beautiful body on those Ritz Carlton sheets. I can't wait until we're together again._

_Nick's of course looking forward to seeing you in New York for Nationals - I'm so envious you guys are having an unofficial Warbler reunion with all you guys who will be there competing (plus Meatbox.) I think Nick said that Jeff, Thad, and Trent will all be there...were there others? I'm so bummed I couldn't make that weekend work for my NYADA/Tisch visit._

_Coop says hi, too. He's up to his ears in that soap opera but is happy as a clam (as always - I envy him that). He said he'll try to make his summer visit to Ohio the same time you are coming. He also said some really nice things about you, how he's glad that we are officially dating now and that he likes that you take good care of me :)_

_As you gathered from my texts, he spent the majority of the time doing the full court press on me for UCLA. I didn't get to text you that while we were on the Paramount lot where he films, we saw NCIS: Los Angeles filming! Oh and that restaurant he took me to for dessert is one where he saw Courtney Cox at once. We didn't have such luck this time.._

_I don't want to get your hopes up (assuming you have some preference to me going to UCLA ;) ), but I have to say that I'm bursting to share more about my campus visit on Friday. It was AMAZING. Tina seems so happy there and she gave me a really detailed tour. I loved it all: the facilities, the vibe of the student body (Tina took me to a party and everyone seemed so warm and friendly), all the student productions they have going on, hearing all the parts students are getting off campus and the backgrounds of the professors. For a younger program, it was really impressive in so many ways._

_And especially the classes. The professors all seemed so grounded and down to earth in spite of their impressive backgrounds. I knew from Tina and my visit last September with Coop that the program is more academic, but getting to sit in on the classes really helped me really understand the kind of pedagogy and orientation their program has. And I LOVED it. It totally appeals to that nerdy intellectual curiosity I have. You know what I'm talking about, you have it too (even if you keep it behind closed doors most of the time). I sat down with a few students for coffee, too - upperclassmen Tina knows._

_The biggest eyeopener about the program was sitting in on a student drama production and a drama class. It really aligned with the experience I've been having this quarter at the RC in my drama class. I just sat there finding myself continuing to get increasingly excited about the idea of being in straight plays/TV/films without music. I know, you've fallen down in a dead faint. Have you picked yourself off the floor? I know, you'd never thought you'd see the day this Broadway baby would say that. But really, when you start watching clips from films like Dead Poet's Society and discussions of Steve Martin's Picasso and the Lapin Agile...it really makes you think that music isn't always appropriate to have too much of in a play, and how one can communicate to an audience in amazing ways without it. It actually is a bigger challenge for me perhaps, but I love the idea of honing those skills in a place like UCLA and with the big fish in Hollywood._

_That's not to say that my interests in singing and dancing have waned, it's more that my penchant for straight drama (and comedy!) seems to be manifesting itself in a big way - to almost equal them. Oh, I forgot to mention that I also got to visit with some students who spend time in the music department and hear about the opportunities, even as a student from a different school (theatre, film and TV vs. the school of music) I can take music composition classes and coordinate using piano stalls, etc. Not that I need a piano stall because of your beautiful gift, but it's nice to know that cross-school cooperation is the norm._

_I think I texted you that the admissions office took me out to lunch at the faculty club. Afterwards they walked me around a little more to give me a chance to see the rest of campus, which is so beautiful. Lots of trees and grass everywhere (at least the part of campus I would be on the most). The original four buildings were designed after gorgeous italian churches! It was lovely to just walk the campus again, this time with someone who knows what she's talking about (v. Cooper last fall)._

_The UCLA vibe is so unique - it's 90 years old so there's definitely a sense of tradition, between the amazing alumni, the strength of almost every department, and of course the sports legacies like John Wooden (I took a picture with his statue for my dad, who worships him even though he didn't even go to UCLA or grow up on the West Coast!)._

_At the same time, the sense of tradition is right alongside a vibrancy that is very modern. It feels cutting edge and full of energy. It's so hard to describe, but it feels different than what I remember of Tisch and NYADA. I talked about it with the scholarship donors who I had dinner with on Friday night, and they were happy to hear it. They said that is the brand recognition the campus wants admitted students to walk away with from a visit. They also talked specifically about the school of theatre and television and all the growth it has had, especially the musical theatre department. I know their job was to 'sell' me, but I really liked this couple. They were clearly passionate about musical theatre, but they also recognized that a performing arts career is a tricky one and they would be pleased if I made UCLA proud as any kind of actor. They talked about how Hollywood is good training for theatre, not just the other way around. I really appreciated that they reassured me that at 19 I shouldn't feel pressured to know exactly what I will love performing the most or when I'll want to do what. They really were such great people and seem to trust UCLA to help me grow into the performer I want to be._

_So the Bruins are the ones to beat when I go to visit Tisch and NYADA. Hopefully I can catch up with Santana and Artie again and hopefully Wes and Quinn, too. What a whirlwind couple of weeks before I have to make my big decision._

_I thought about you all weekend. I don't want it to overshadow my decision making progress, but of course I was thinking about how much easier it would be to see each other if I end up at UCLA. I kept thinking about how UCLA would mean being able to be with you and hold you and kiss you more easily and more often. And of course everywhere I went, I kept thinking about enjoying California with you. Did I mention that I miss you so much?_

_Well, hopefully you are getting a lot of mileage out of bootcamp right now. With all those rehearsals you're definitely going to take Glee Club Nationals by storm. You guys must be buzzing, only two weeks to go! Just think, if I go to Tisch or UCLA, we'll compete against each other again :O Enjoy competing without me in the mix while you can ;)_

_I guess I should go, they're starting to board. I can't believe I'm leaving California without so much as a single live and in-person look at the adorable, gorgeous, genius, charming, fascinating guy I'm dating who is just 300 miles away. I'm blowing a kiss at least, to let the north wind blow up to you. I'll text when I land._

_Love,_

_Blaine_

…

_SEB: Landed on time, can do our Skype in an hour if we're lucky, probably more like 1.5_

_BLAINE: Hi Baby, I hate to do this but I can't do our call tonight. The guys are dragging me to the pub. Sorry, they are giving me a really hard time for not going out enough this quarter with them._

_SEB: No worries. Don't let them talk you into any drinking games._

_BLAINE: Will do. I have a super early day tomorrow and will be crazy busy so don't be offended if I don't reply to texts. But let's try to check in before your big song, okay?_

_SEB: Okay. What are you doing so early tomorrow? Saturdays are for sleeping in. With me, preferably.  
_

_BLAINE: Helping out a friend_

_SEB: Cryptic much? I gotta bolt, we're deplaning. Call me before bed if you're still able to form sentences. Easy on the hard lemonades if you're up early tomorrow._

_BLAINE: Okay. Enjoy New York, I love that city so much. Say hi to Rob and Santana and the Warblers for me. Miss you._

_SEB: Miss you, too. Bye_

_BLAINE: Bye XOXO_

Sebastian returned his phone to his pocket with an imperceptible sigh. It had been a tough week:

1) He had insisted on rehearsals every night, in spite of his two midterms and an extra hectic workload at his internship, where they were gearing up for an IPO...so he was sleep deprived and cranky.

2) Besides the volume, he found the legal research to be more interesting than he would ever admit to his father...which irked him to no end.

3) The Gomez midterm was different than her winter quarter ones...which threw him off.

4) Yesterday he hadn't hit his big opening note right. Karen had said they had just over-rehearsed...but he was still unnerved.

It would be good to hear Blaine's voice tomorrow.

…

"It's my friend Catherine, she's in school here at NYADA," Shannon explained for the Mixed Company group as she returned her phone to her pocket. "I'm not ashamed to say that I tanked my NYADA audition when I was applying, so I've always romanticized the place for what could have been. Catherine says it's been amazing."

Sebastian felt his heart tighten. He knew Rob would not be looking at him, but he felt self-conscious anyway.

"Oh I have a friend at NYADA, too!" Greg said, looking at his watch. "You guys, we should just walk, we are being such stereotypical Californians, waiting for a cab for only 15 blocks!"

Karen chuckled, "You act like you weren't born and raised in Malibu."

The group began to move, separating into smaller groups as they blended into the flow of pedestrians. "NYADA is a real specialized conservatory experience," Greg remarked. "I prefer Stanford's academic approach, plus you've got a good fall back school on your resume if you change your mind about a performing career."

Nate retorted, "Please, I bet if you had gotten into NYADA you would have gone in a heartbeat."

As Nate and Greg began to wrangle Sebastian lagged further behind them, trying to tune them out. Rob noticed and slowed his pace a little too, while still giving his roommate some space. Sebastian focused on reading marquees and signs they were passing. _Aladdin, Cabaret, Book of Mormon, Phantom, Funny..._

[ ](http://imgur.com/4YwUfMe) [x](http://broadwayspotted.com)

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Of course, _Funny Girl. Starring Hummel's Hilarious Hag._

"You're quiet," Karen commented, patting his arm.

"Hungry," Sebastian lied. "Why couldn't we just eat near the hotel?"

Rob had quickened his pace and fell into step with Sebastian in time to throw him a steadying glance. "We don't have to walk with everyone. We can grab a cab and they can catch up with us. Appetizers sound good to me."

"I don't want to hear about it from Gregor," Sebastian said evenly.

Karen offered him her pack of gum and he shook his head. She looked at Rob, who lifted his chin slightly and made a small gesture encouraging her to catch up with Nate, Shannon and Greg. Karen complied, with a quick look of puzzled thanks. She whispered in Rob's ear as she stepped away, "You have no idea how glad I am that Seb got you to join MC. Sometimes I don't know what to do with him..."

In a moment more they came into Times Square and Sebastian blinked at the huge Vogue billboard featuring a 50 foot picture of Kurt Hummel.

[x](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAYQjxw&url=http%3A%2F%2Frebloggy.com%2Fpost%2Fphotoshoot-kurt-hummel-vogue-glee-design-chris-colfer-magazine-kurt-geek-studio%2F41322647365&ei=l5kQVKODLuan8gHN-YD4Dw&bvm=bv.74649129,d.b2U&psig=AFQjCNHhNYsyx8Yk-4O-8K2hzs5mzno2xA&ust=1410460439804221)

That is, a billboard featuring a short-haired actress in a menswear inspired look.

Rob leaned over and said in his ear, "Are you okay? You look green."

"I'm fine...okay, maybe I'm not fine. I'm starting to see things. And, I'm starting to feel like someone is playing a sick joke on me. But I'll be fine. I think I really just need something to eat."

Rob looked concerned and patted Sebastian's shoulder. "Hang in there, bro. I think we're getting pretty close. Or we can stop and grab something from a food vendor."

Karen had slowed down and fell into step with Rob and Sebastian again as they approached. She spoke up tentatively, "Hey Seb, after dinner Shannon and Greg want to go to this place called 'Callbacks' - it's a piano bar that some of that NYADA school's crowd goes to. Maybe you and your 'Warbler' friends want to join us, so I can finally hear if you guys sound as legendary as you've said?"

Sebastian facepalmed and rubbed his forehead. "No, we won't be joining you there."

Rob looked at Karen with exasperation.

"What?" she whispered.

Rob shooed her gently away. "Seb's not feeling too good. Low blood sugar issues. Just hurry ahead of everyone and order him a soda, will you?"

Karen nodded wisely and hurried away.

Sebastian looked at his roommate. "Much obliged, Dr. Pepper."

"Anytime."

...

_SAM: Hey Seberoni, Blaine is too drunk to talk to you tonight, let alone text. But he is blowing kisses at you as he's stumbling home. We hope you're having fun in New York. Ask Santana if she has any baby heads or pickle jars I can help her out with. Good luck with Nationals tomorrow! It's weird you aren't singing with the Warblers anymore, but I'm sure you'll be awesome anyway. Look forward to seeing video of you competing without that Dalton blazer. And say hi to Rob!_

_SEB: Don't call me that. Tell Blaine I'll call him tomorrow. You still owe me body shots. Rob says hi._

_..._

 

"It was so generous of the missus to let you out from under her thumb to compete with your glee club," Sebastian said dryly as he and Nick waited for their drinks at the bar.

"She couldn't raise a fuss, it's Nationals," Nick replied. "Anyway, I don't mind being under her thumb," he added with a soft smile. "I just wish she could have come with me, there's nothing like being in love and in New York."

The image of Blaine and Kurt holding hands in front of Tiffany's made Sebastian's stomach churn as he pushed away the thought. "She must be something else, to get you to go to Easter service last week," Sebastian smirked. "Did you wear an Easter bonnet, too?"

Nick volleyed back, "I seem to recall you taking your grandmother to Easter service every year, too."

"Yes, that was my _grandmother_ ," Sebastian raised a brow at him. " _Family_. Or did you marry this chick and while my back was turned?"

Nick ignored the derision, having spent enough time with Sebastian to know when he cared to engage. He looked sentimental. "I don't know Seb, sometimes I think I could really do that someday with Mariana. There are worse fates than being happily married."

Sebastian gave him an amused look as the bartender served up their drinks. "Wow, she's got your balls on lockdown already? Have a little confidence, Duvall. I can't believe you tied yourself down with the first girl who glanced your way and fell for one of your cliche' first date packages."

Nick teased, "Romeo, I don't think you can really come after me for being in love when you and Blaine are being so gooey yourselves these days."

Sebastian shook his head and arched a brow. "You really want to take me on, Duvall? Do you not remember our smackdown spring break junior year?"

Nick laughed at the memory and clapped him on the back. "I didn't come out tonight to fight, bro. But I don't see how you can pick on me for falling in love with Mariana at first sight when you fell in love with Blaine the same way."

Sebastian took a drink of his scotch. "You are still such a sap, Nick. I would have thought you would have grown out of it a little by now."

Nick smiled, "I have no shame in being a romantic. And neither does Blaine." He couldn't resist teasing, "Which is why you'd better hurry up and put a ring on it, at least a promise ring." He chuckled and leaned on the bar, "He was so cute about you two when we hung out in LA, I think he's going to combust if you don't make him your boyfriend."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Blaine's the one who said he's not ready, he's the one who wanted to keep waiting on the boyfriend label. You were obviously seeing what you wanted to see."

Nick shook his head and took another sip of his martini. "I didn't have to _see_ anything. I just _heard_ him say 'we're dating' like a dozen times in five minutes. It was 'now that Sebastian and I are dating,' THIS and 'well Sebastian and I haven't been dating too long,' THAT and oh, of course, 'I love dating Sebastian, even if it's long-distance.'"

Sebastian said nothing. He just sipped his scotch and watched David take a picture of Meatbox putting Thad in a headlock across the room.

Nick looked wise. "I think he doesn't want to freak you out, so he's not pushing it. But this is Blaine, Seb - he's a bigger romantic than me. He's going to want to be boyfriends sooner than later."

Sebastian furrowed his brow. "Nick, I wasn't screwing around with you, _HE_ is the one who doesn't want to be boyfriends. He told me that he wants to work on being more comfortable being alone."

[ ](http://imgur.com/NjGqOa2)

"I know, he told me that...but Seb, that's his head talking. His eyes and all those 'Seb and I are dating' bombs told me where his heart is. His heart wants to stop holding back."

"Well, his head is right. He doesn't want to screw this up any more than I do, by getting in over our heads."

Jeff approached them in time to hear Nick say, "Oh Bas, you think if you cross every T and dot every I that you guys won't screw up? Everyone screws up, you can't grow without screwing up a little."

"Since when are Blaine or I, 'everyone'?" Sebastian smirked.

Nick gave him a playful shove. "Oh, stop overthinking things and just let yourself be happy. Send Blaine over-the-moon by making him your boyfriend. He was thrilled enough just being able to say he is in a relationship with you on Facebook! He was like, glowing! He hasn't been that happy and sappy since he and…" He cut himself short.

Sebastian's eyes grew cold and Jeff gave Nick a pointed look.

Sebastian remarked acidly, "Jeffrey, I haven't seen your 'Nick-you-put-your-foot-in-your-mouth-again' face in quite some time. Now Duvall, you might as well finish your sentence, the cat's out of the bag. You were saying that Blaine hasn't been that happy since he started dating Kurt," he spit the name out with disgust. "Or...since he and Kurt got engaged, or since he and Kurt got their first couples' chest waxing."

Sebastian leaned closer into Nick's face and gave him a threatening look as he continued. "But Nicholas, listen to me clearly: if you compare, hell if you so much as mention Hummel in the same breath as Blaine or I again, I'm going to take your new hipster glasses and shove them so far down your throat they'll come out your ass." He gave Jeff a resigned look. "I'll check in with you later. I'm going to go catch up with Meatbox."

As he stepped away Nick shook his head and took a swig of his martini. "Damn, and we were having such a good night."

Jeff patted his shoulder. "Yeah, nice going, smooth talker."

Nick gave him a sideways glance before continuing, "Ugh, yeah he really does still hate Kurt." He paused to reflect, remembering Sebastian on the day before the wedding. "I don't even think their feud was just because of the bitchy things they said to each other. At least not for Seb. He never thought Kurt fully appreciated Blaine, or totally understood him."

Jeff added thoughtfully, "I can see that. And from his reaction just now, I'm guessin' ole Seb wonders if what they have compares to what Kurt and Blaine had."

Nick nodded regretfully. "Yeah, I can't believe I went there, I _know_ better than that. Seb tries to act like Kurt and Blaine's relationship didn't mean much, but he's not an idiot, he has to know it was real."

Jeff nodded. "Real enough for Blaine to propose."

Nick shook his head and sipped his drink again. "But it's silly to compare Kurt and Blaine with Sebastian and Blaine. It would be like comparing apples to oranges. Blaine's like a different human being now, he seems so much more...grounded, less naive. If anything, Blaine seems to value his relationship with Sebastian more. It's a more mature thing, not just first love...he seemed really proud of that."

Jeff was sympathetic. "Still, as far as first loves go, Kurt and Blaine were pretty epic. And Blaine chose Kurt over Seb once…" He reached up to push his floppy hair to one side. "I guess it's kind of understandable that he might be worried that Blaine could choose Kurt again." He took a sip of his soda and looked pensive. "I mean, it's not like Kurt and Blaine had a fight and broke up over differences. They just agreed that the timing was wrong and that they needed a break."

Nick argued, "But Kurt's not even on his radar to be chosen. Blaine said Kurt's dating someone else now." He shook his head in puzzlement. "And anyway, Sebastian's not the same guy for Blaine to...not choose. If Blaine's a different human now, Sebastian's like a different...species. A species that Blaine wants over anyone else. He's a total goner for him."

Jeff shrugged. "You can make all the rational arguments you want, you gotta allow even The Great Sebastian Smythe to some stupid fears like the rest of us." He stared into his drink. "Somewhere deep down, Seb's paranoid that Kurt is going to talk again to Blaine this summer; Sebastian will get dumped and so will Kurt's new guy; and 'Klaine' will ride off into the sunset."

"That's extreme," Nick chuckled. "Which _does_ make it sound like a plausible Sebastian Smythe fear."

Jeff sipped his Coke again and found the back of Sebastian's head across the room. "I guess he's just gotta learn to trust Blaine...and I guess, trust himself." Jeff looked proud of his own assessment. "But that stuff doesn't happen overnight. I guess it's a good thing he and Blaine have been trying to take it slow."

Nick nodded reluctantly. "I just hope it doesn't kill Blaine in the process to go so slow. I mean you should have seen him at dinner with me last weekend. The whole time I felt like it was killing him not to be able to call Sebastian his boyfriend."

Jeff chuckled, "Meanwhile, Seb still hasn't changed his facebook status. It's like he doesn't want to jinx it or something."

Nick raised his eyebrows and nudged Jeff's foot as he saw Meatbox approaching, dragging Sebastian by the arm.

Meatbox stopped in front of them, saying purposefully, "Okay, now kiss and make up."

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"And our marching band plays in front of the library at midnight during dead week," Nick was saying casually.

"You're still a colossally bad liar," Sebastian said. "I know you were talking about 'Klaine,'" he used one hand to indicate air quotes. "Hell, I've been hanging with Meat for like ten minutes, you guys couldn't move on to another topic?" His words were sharp but he met Nick's apologetic eyes with a mildly receptive glance.

Meatbox was nonplussed. "You guys still talking about Blaine and Kurt? That's old news, ain't it? From his Facebook it sounds like Blaine is way past all that puppy love business."

Sebastian hoped Meatbox was right as he stretched his neck to avoid eye contact with everyone.

Meatbox continued, "Is there a bar menu somewhere? I'm hungry. I was out with some of my dorm at this great place near here for dinner, but it was a singin' waitress place and I always get so distracted at dinner theatre that I don't eat enough."

"Let me guess. The Spotlight Diner. That's where Santana works," Sebastian droned, avoiding Nick's sympathetic glance. _And Berry. And Hummel._ He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at it quickly. "It's my team, guys. I gotta go." He clapped his three friends on their backs. "It was good to see everyone, break a leg tomorrow. I'll see some of you in the Winner's Circle." He smirked and hurried out the door as his phone buzzed for real this time.

_TANA: Done! You guys still at the W?_

SEB: No, I'm headed to bed early tonight. Beat. See you tomorrow.

Sebastian's phone rang. He ignored it.

_TANA: Pick up the phone! What the hell? I traded my graveyard shift so I could see you tonight! I know you don't know how hard that is to do because you've never labored day in your life, but you'll have to take my word for it. It's only nine o'clock west coast time, you can't be tired. Your body is just waking up for your first drink of blood. I know 'cause you're usually the one waking ME up this time of night._

_SEB: It's loud on the street, you wouldn't be able to hear me if I called. I'm sorry but it was a long flight and I had a long week, midterms and rehearsals and there was a crapload of work at my stupid internship. Leave me alone. See you tomorrow._

_TANA: That's the biggest load of steaming BS you've shovelled up in awhile. What's going on? Come out, Auntie Snix will help out whatever's bothering you. You've come all the way out from California to see my magnificence, don't get stage fright, I won't bite. Just call me._

Sebastian hesitated, pausing beside a doorman and staring at a taxicab loading passengers. The top of the cab seemed to taunt him with its advertisement for, _of course,_ "Radio Bushwick."

His phone buzzed with another text from Santana. He stepped back to lean against the building behind him and closed his eyes. He tried to think of the Waldorf Astoria, and Central Park, and the Met and all the other fantastic things that caused him to love this city once. Instead his mind just wished Nationals were elsewhere this year. Being in a place that constantly reminded him of Blaine, let alone Blaine with Hummel, was worse than being 3000 miles farther from Scotland in California.

…

Sebastian hadn't tapped on stage to perform for three years - he'd forgotten about how unnerving pacing in taps backstage was before a performance. But standing still was never something he could do in the wings before a tap number. All he could do was wait and wonder why Blaine wasn't returning his texts. And bat away Karen's hands as she tried to smooth stray hairs off his forehead. And shake his muscles and stretch his neck out.

Step, turn, sidestep, touch, kick, walk, kick. He didn't know why he was reviewing the choreography in his head, his body had memorized it weeks ago. He had hit his notes adequately that morning in final rehearsals but his Friday rehearsals still haunted him. He could tell Karen was worried about him, even though she hadn't said anything. Where the hell did Rob go?

As the orchestra music swelled Sebastian strolled out past the line-up of scantily clad MC chorus girls who were waiting in the wings. As he crossed the stage he scanned the audience for the Warblers. He quickly spotted Jeff's towhead and Meatbox's imposing frame. Both were grinning widely and enthusiastically pointing to their left.

Sebastian's gaze followed their gestures until he almost did a double take. His eyes had met a familiar pair of hazel ones and Sebastian thought his heart stopped for a moment.

Blaine was smiling sweetly, clapping with the rest of the audience to welcome the performers, next to a grinning Nick and Wes on one side and a smirking Santana on the other.

[ ](http://imgur.com/9HPH0tx)

_[Listen to "Live in Living Color" at http://play.spotify.com/user/sebastanandblaine]_

Sebastian's smile was bright and quick, spreading wide. _There he is, that sneaky little bastard. Live in living color, indeed._

[Sebastian, who had to look away from Blaine to get into character]  
 _Live in living color  
_ _Let me take you for a ride  
_ _Yes, I'm live in living color_

Sebastian pointed at Blaine and gave him a cheeky look as he felt joy surge through him. __  


_So sit back and let me be your T.V. Guide!  
_

In the wings Rob whispered to Karen, "Damn, that's the best he's ever hit that note! He must have seen Blaine!"

Sebastian felt himself loosen up and let go as his female teammates formed a line on either side of him. He tapped and led them through the number, sounding and dancing better than he had in 6 weeks of rehearsals:

_I've gotta story I'd like to tell_  
 _But I'm gonna need help to tell it well_  
 _I've gotta story about fame and money  
_ _And it's got more curves than a Playboy Bunny_

Blaine smiled widely, licked his lips and shook his head at the sight of Sebastian's sexy moves taking the audience for a ride.  
 _I wanna live not just survive_

_I wanna tell my story live and in living color_

[Sebastian & Ensemble]  
 _Live in living color_

[Sebastian]  
 _Something special's up tonight_

[Sebastian & Ensemble]  
 _Yes, I'm live in living color  
_ _Life ain't lived in black and white_

 _[_ Sebastian, giving Blaine a roguish look _]  
_ _I gotta tale of a great romancer  
_ _And it's got more moves than a go-go-dancer_

[He ran his hands through his hair]  
 _I gotta story that's fast and slick  
_ _And it's got more twists than a peppermint stick_

The next time Sebastian looked over, Blaine was clapping in time to the music, stopping to wink when he caught his eye.

_I don't have the time for the nine to five_

_I gotta tell my story live and in living color!_

[Sebastian & Ensemble]  
 _Live in living color  
_ _And it's brought to you by me  
_ _Yes, I'm live in living color  
_ _This won't fit in your T.V.!_

[Sebastian, looking at Blaine, who blew a kiss to him.]  
 _What's a name?  
_ _Just window dressing  
_ _Everybody knows that it's the clothes that make the man  
_ __  
Play the game  
 _Just keep 'em guessing  
_ _Mix and match me  
_ _Try to catch me if you can  
_ __  
I gotta story that's strange but true  
 _So come fly with me for a bird's eye-view  
_ _I've got the world at my command_

[He pointed at Blaine and winked]  
 _And I'll be your one-man Disneyland  
_ _I don't wanna wait for the cops to arrive  
_ _I wanna tell my story live and in living color_

[Sebastian & Ensemble]  
 _Live in living color  
_ _Tune me in and turn me on  
_ _Yes, I'm live in living color  
_ _Blink your eyes and I'll be gone_

_Yes, I'm live in living color_  
 _Tune me in and turn me on_  
 _Yes, I'm live in living color_  
 _Blink your eyes_  
 _Blink your eyes  
_ _And I'll be gone!_

 

…

_Well I hope you guys enjoyed this little mishmash of Seblaine college life. Please do review, it keeps me motivated and encouraged to keep going and do this faster. I sometimes get in my own way, you guys have been so pleased in the past that I want to live up to your expectations and maintain a level of quality. But that can mean that I freeze in front of the computer, procrastinate or tinker endlessly with minute improvement like Bambi in the proverbial headlights…_

_Anything seem out of character? That's my biggest fear. What are you enjoying the most? This is a good chapter for you to scan and think about what you'd like more of - are you dying for a really fleshed out Oliver scene or do you not care that much? Do you need a Rob-Sam reunion at some point? What about the RC or Stanford do you want more or less of? What kind of reunions do you want the boys to have? Can you guess what song Blam will sing to say goodbye to Scotland? There is a major plot development coming down the road, can you guess it? And remember I'm game to provide spoilers if you want to pm me or message me at whatdiditellyouflawless on tumblr or tiburonwriter on The Glee Forum._

_Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing. After the proposal storyline got me so frustrated in season 4 I had to write this just for myself, but having you all be interested in my flight of fancy has been such a delight. I really appreciate your feedback, because I think it's making me a better writer, too! Lots of good mojo to you and your life, too. May Blaine serenade you and Sebastian beat up any bullies in your life._


	34. New York, Part II: Santana and Shadowboxing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seblaine in the Big Apple, including a little QT with Snix and some Mixed Company appreciation (reader-favorite Rob makes another appearance along with his new squeeze Karen, played my that other Starkid, Lauren Lopez).
> 
> Sebastian takes on a ghost and spoils Blaine as only Sebastian can. Blaine takes care of Sebastian as only Blaine can.

The stage door opened and Sebastian stormed out first, followed by the rest of his teammates intent on getting back inside the theatre to watch the rest of the competition. But he had only taken a few strides across the sidewalk before a strong hand pulled him away from the crowd.

"Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?" Blaine teased as he pulled him up against his body on the side of the building. Sebastian didn't answer, a warm smile spreading over his face before he crushed Blaine with a potent kiss that hushed even the sensory overload of New York City. Their bodies pressed together tightly, fitting seamlessly as their lips parted without hesitation. The delicious, heady rush was stronger than ever as they pushed into each other with wet, heated relief. Sebastian's hand tangled in Blaine's hair and Blaine stroked Sebastian's lower back as a matter of course while a recognizable, but still electrifying, thrill pulsed through them.

"There was no fire," Sebastian whispered against Blaine's lips when they parted for air. "I was rushing back inside because I heard that the most coveted college admit in the nation was in the audience. I wanted to go," he said before he placed another ardent kiss on Blaine's lips, "to see if I could charm him into coming to The Farm's fictional musical theatre department."

"Ah, you represent Stanford on every occasion now," Blaine chuckled, pressing his cheek into Sebastian's shoulder. "Well, I won't let you talk to that guy. I don't have much time with you this weekend, so you are not to waste a moment flirting with another man." He lifted his shining face to add saucily, "Though I understand the temptation, I do hear he's terribly handsome and talented."

"Couldn't hold a candle to you, Killer." Sebastian pressed his cheek against Blaine's. He felt like he should pinch himself to see if he was dreaming.

They paused in contentment, eyes closed, cheek-to-cheek, taking each other in with silent gratitude. Finally Blaine whispered tenderly, "Hello, Sunshine."

"Hello, Beautiful." Sebastian's lashes fluttered as his mind wandered. "Wait, when did you get here?"

"I came straight from the airport, that's why I look so rumpled. I managed to get the Grease production to rehearse without me on Monday so I can see NYADA and Tisch then and fly back late on a redeye." He pulled back and gave Sebastian a playfully stern look. "What, did you think I got here last night? You really think I would land on U.S. soil after four weeks of not seeing you and not come looking for you straightaway? AND miss a Warbler reunion?"

Sebastian shook his head and smirked as he looked into the Blaine's beautiful eyes. "I should hope not, but I don't know...I can see you wanting to surprise me by showing up in the audience, but arriving last night in case of travel delays. You possess a curious combination of both ultra-paranoid planning skills and a spectacular flair for the dramatic, Mr. Anderson. And you don't look rumpled, you look flawless, as always."

"You possess a curious ability to insult me and flatter me in one breath," Blaine chuckled, pressing his forehead against Sebastian's. "I have a good mind to get right back on that plane."

Sebastian bent his head to bury his face in Blaine's neck and gave the tiny waist a squeeze. "Nope, not gonna let you," he said into the soft skin.

Blaine kissed the silky chestnut hair as he stroked the back of Sebastian's neck. "You're right that my original plan was to come Friday, but if I had pulled that off I would have just surprised you by showing up in your hotel room."

Sebastian kissed his neck lightly. "That's an even better surprise. And why didn't you?" he murmured before kissing again, feathery light. He took a long, leisurely breath next, taking in Blaine's scent and texture.

"I couldn't get out of rehearsals," Blaine said, looking regretful for a second before going back to being blissfully present to the feeling of Sebastian in his arms. After a few moments his mind wandered again and he nudged Sebastian's head up to look at him delightedly, pecking him on the cheek. "Anyway, so you were surprised?"

"Yes," Sebastian smiled indulgently at him. "You surprised the shit out of me, I nearly missed my cue."

"As if you would ever," Blaine wriggled from Sebastian's hold and pull his hand towards the theatre entrance. "I'm so glad _I_ didn't miss it because of any travel delays. And I'm positively triumphant that I fooled the Great Sebastian Smythe!'

Sebastian's eyes twinkled as he gave him a fond smile. "You only succeeded in your ruse because you had Sam tell the big baldfaced lies for you yesterday."

Blaine wrinkled his nose adorably as he pulled open the door with a gallant gesture, guiding Sebastian inside with a hand at his lower back. "I was afraid you'd get me to call you and you'd see through me even on the phone. I was too excited, I knew I wouldn't have been able to keep it together."

When Blaine fell in step with him, Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist. "Well, a great hustler knows when to delegate. Congratulations, you've joined the big leagues. Your deception was wholly convincing and I could not be more thrilled to not have to wait a whole quarter to be able to do this." He slipped his hand into the back pocket of Blaine's jeans to give his ass a squeeze, giving a tiny grunt of satisfaction.

Blaine leaned in closer, his hand wrapping even more snugly around Sebastian's waist. "I could not be more thrilled to be able to do this." He leaned up and gave Sebastian a kiss on the cheek and then whispered in his ear, "And maybe something dirtier later."

Sebastian gave him a lewd smirk. "Mr. Anderson, I am appalled at your behavior. Remember that I was a Catholic choirboy once…"

Blaine's eyes crinkled with delight. "You were not!"

Sebastian glanced sideways before assuming a cool expression. "I was kidding, of course."

"UH-HUH…" Blaine said wickedly.

Sebastian shook his head and repressed a grin. "I was! Of course I was never…"

"You think you're the only one who can detect lying? I can tell when you are, too. I just don't call you on it as much. But I'm not letting this one go!" Blaine's laugh rippled. "Hah, and you love calling me your bashful schoolboy! And I know your grandmother is Catholic, so of course you were!"

Sebastian smirked. "Fine, you got me. I did it for one year when I was eight and had just moved to Paris. I liked the music. But then I got bored and I became a Catholic choir dropout."

Blaine shook his head. "It's impressive, how you can spin anything to make you a badboy again."

"You love it," Sebastian stopped them suddenly in front of the doors to orchestra level. "Hold up, what are we doing? Screw this, I don't want to spend my first night in New York with you at a show choir competition." He paused for a moment and got his phone out of his pocket. "Have you eaten? I can call and get us a reservation for a late dinner somewhere good, the concierge will have a recommendation. We can grab a pretzel and walk around the city until then. It's dinner time in Scotland, right?"

Blaine looked up at him with a surprised face. "Seb, you have to stay, they're going to announce the winner! Your teammates will be missing you!"

Sebastian shrugged. "We did as good as we were gonna do, but I seriously doubt we won. Jeff and his Michigan cronies are taking it this year for sure, did you see them? I'll text Karen, she'll make excuses. I'll tell them I'm sick, they all thought I was sick last night, so it's totally believable..."

"You were you sick last night? Are you okay now?" Blaine asked with concern.

Sebastian decided it would be less pathetic to tell a half-truth. "I'm fine, I was just tired and missing you," he said, tugging on his arm. "Come on, I want to enjoy a perfect spring evening in Manhattan with the most beautiful man in the city on my arm."

"Seb, you are so sweet...but we can't. Santana is inside waiting for us. She told me you ditched her last night, you don't want to do that to her again."

Sebastian raised a dismissive hand. "She and I had breakfast this morning, I got to tease her about her cheap jewelry, she yanked on my ear...we caught up. She'll understand…" Sebastian started tugging Blaine again towards the door.

Blaine smiled tenderly at this beautiful man, wanting to throw everything out the window so they could spend 1:1 time together. It was tempting, but he shook his head. "Seb, you are so adorable to want to runaway with me...and believe me, I can't wait to spend some alone time with you. But we really shouldn't yet, it wouldn't be right. You should stay by your team through the end. There are only a few more groups left. And Santana traded another shift just to see you perform, you should at least go in and thank her for coming. Plus, I really want to see Rob, and finally meet Karen, and all of your the other Mixed Company friends."

Sebastian's green eyes softened and his expression grew patient. Blaine always did right by people. Sometimes Sebastian wished he could remember to be more like him. He nodded. "Okay, whatever you want, babe. I guess it doesn't really matter where we are. I'd let you drag me to Mars if wanted." He gave Blaine's hand a squeeze and opened the door.

They were greeted to the sounds of an Avril Lavigne song as they plunged through the darkness towards the Stanford group at the front of the theatre. _[Hear "These Things I'll Never Say" on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist, play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]_

A female soloist sang, sounding not unlike Kitty Wilde, in front of a swaying group of her teammates. Her resonant voice belted out the anthem, unknowingly expressing the happy, nervous exhilaration in both Sebastian and Blaine's hearts. Though they both had every intention of saying the things wanted to say...someday.

 _I'm tugging at my hair_  
_I'm pulling at my clothes_  
_I'm trying to keep my cool  
_ _I know it shows_

 _I'm staring at my feet_  
_My cheeks are turning red  
_ _I'm searching for the words inside my head_

 _(Cause) I'm feeling nervous_  
_Trying to be so perfect_  
_Cause I know you're worth it  
_ _You're worth it_

_Yeah_

_If I could say what I want to say  
_ _I'd say I wanna blow you...away_

 _Be with you every night  
_ _Am I squeezing you too tight_

 _If I could say what I want to see  
_ _I want to see you go down_

_On one knee  
Marry me today_

_Guess, I'm wishing my life away  
_ _With these things I'll never say_

_These things I'll never say_

…

Sebastian came out of the mens room and started to cross the room of large theatre district restaurant Mixed Company had invaded after the competition. He stopped halfway across the room to observe Santana, who was standing next to their table and pinching Blaine's cheek with affection. Sebastian always enjoyed watching Blaine drawing people into his irresistible spell, but his dynamic with Santana was always particularly amusing. Santana was now examining her acrylics, but Blaine put his hand on hers to get her attention, using his big eyes to show his genuine concern for her. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but Sebastian smirked as he watched her slowly let down her walls, her eyes betraying her respect and fondness for Blaine.

"Just because it didn't work out for Mike and Tina or Kurt and I, it doesn't mean it couldn't for you guys. I mean, who knows her better than you? You knew MIT wasn't the right fit."

Santana didn't respond, looking over Blaine's shoulder at nothing in particular.

Blaine continued in his soothing tone. "I'm glad that you two will finally be in the same city - you'll be able to know sooner than later if this is the real thing. Then it won't be hanging over you." He sighed internally, wishing he and Sebastian could do the same. "And Britt won't overstep, she'll have that job and her own place, plus Quinn close by.

"I really wouldn't worry about it, you guys will be fine. She knows you better than anyone, too - she'll only go as fast as you want to."

"We'll see," Santana said, looking thoughtful. "And I can say the same for you, though you should watch that it doesn't blow up on you, Gelly Bean." Her hand had moved to twirling one of his curls around her finger.

"What do you mean?" Blaine's eyes looked suddenly troubled.

"I mean your swoopy-haired sweetheart may be willing to be dragged down lovers lane as fast as you want, but that doesn't mean he's ready for it. Chances are he'll end up with a nasty road rash on his freakishly long legs...and you don't want him resenting you for it later. He's an ugly bitch when he gets like that."

Blaine's eyes widened.

"Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he doesn't want to be boyfriends. It's just I've been hounding him for months to do it, but he keeps pinning the hold-up all on you. But I can smell his fear through his pretentious gold I-phone."

Blaine relaxed a little. "Oh, I know that. Of course he's scared, he's told me so. I mean, not in so many words, but he's told me that he doesn't want us to mess things up by going too fast. He just doesn't want to admit that to you." Blaine always felt a sense of pride in knowing Sebastian shared things with him that he shared with no one else. "I'm scared too, and he knows that, too."

"Sure, but when you stop being so scared, don't assume he's stopped, too. He likes to puff up that hairless chest of his, but he's still a relationship virgin and even more petrified than you are, Chicken Little."

Blaine swallowed, raising his eyebrows slightly.

Santana patted his head. "I told you, don't freak. It's gonna be fine. I just don't want you to get all Olaf-the-Snowman-happy and get ahead of him. Captain Smirktastic may act like he's cool and just wants to take care of you, but you're gonna need to hold his hand through all the relationship crap. He'll let you, as long as you don't patronize him or god forbid damage his delicate ego. Mr. Lacrosse Pecs-and-Abs still bruises like a Georgia peach."

Blaine still didn't say anything, looking sideways as he reviewed in his mind various conversations with Sebastian about anything emotional.

Santana chucked under his chin. "But if there's anyone who can do it, it's you, Rainbow Skittle. You managed our primadonna Kurt, who doesn't stop talking when he's scared, and you're doing just fine managing the Fresh Prince of Stanfraud, who likes to think he's never scared. You're miles better with both of them than Rachel or I am."

Blaine had to chuckle. "Rachel has never tried to manage Sebastian."

"You know what I mean," Santana rolled her eyes but then laughed. "Though that would be pretty hilarious. Whenever I hang up from talking to him, Berry always asks in her snooty-ass way what I could possibly be getting out of talking to him. She's sooo hot for him."

Blaine shrugged, looking just the tiniest bit smug. "Who isn't?"

"Shhh, here he comes, no need to inflate his fat head to obese size."

Sebastian just cruised by, smirking and goosing both of them as he walked to the other end of the long table.

Santana hiked one of her high heels onto the edge of Blaine's seat, pulling her ringing phone from her high red leather boots. A Mixed Company tenor nearly choked on his french fry at the sight of her fishnetted thigh. "I gots to go," she said after a glance at a text.

Blaine nudged her foot down to the floor so he could stand up to hug and kiss her cheek goodbye. "Bye San, it was awesome to see you. Give everyone my love."

Santana nodded and gave him the small fond smile she seemed to save just for him. Then she turned to Rob and Karen. "Until next time, Captain Kirk and Mrs. Kirk."

"It was good to meet you," Karen said with her warm smile, sensing Santana was not much of a hugger.

"Great to see you again, Santana." Rob smiled at her. "Come out to visit again soon. Seb and I are going to be at my folks' house in Southern California over Memorial Day, you're always welcome, too."

Santana nodded noncommittally at him, but her usual cool expression softened to a small, fond smile for a moment. Rob and Karen waved at her and she stepped over to where Sebastian was standing in the middle of a conversation with Nate. She squeezed his waist from behind and raised up on tiptoe to whisper in his ear. "Yo, Assless Wonder - I'm out. I'll check in tomorrow to make sure you don't take Blaine to any dumps around town."

Sebastian didn't pause in his conversation, but just as Santana began to move away he reached behind him to grab her to his chest and lock a death grip around her head in a suffocating hug.

"LET GO, DICKWIPE!" came the muffled screech.

"Hush, little skank." Sebastian had said softly before he calmly continued his conversation with a highly amused Nate. "So they said that in eight weeks they're hoping I'll be able to make a recommendation about what market segment would make sense next…"

Santana drilled a fingernail straight into Sebastian's belly button, making him flinch. "Pardon me, hold on one second," he said calmly to the now chuckling Nate. Sebastian stepped sideways, dragging Santana and her muted cries with him.

Blaine leaned away from his conversation with Rob when he heard odd sounds and caught sight of Santana's struggle. He squinted at Sebastian to see what was going on.

Santana gave Sebastian a sharp pinch with her fingernails to the skin on his abs and he yelped, finally releasing his hold.

"What are you doing to her now?!" Blaine said loudly above the group.

"Just saying goodbye to my best girl...what?!" Sebastian shouted back, lifting his hands in the air with innocence.

Santana glared at him as she rearranged her hair. "There is a reserved section in hell for wankers like you. Do you not remember that I said you would pay the next time you effed up my weave?"

Sebastian replied impudently, "I am more than willing to pay a lucrative amount to to eff up your weave. You have far too much of it. Your real hair is one of your few attractive attributes, you don't need to cover it up trying to look like a Kardashian."

Santana pursed her red lips. "Your filthy money is not the form of payment I need," she stepped up to him and twisted a nipple through the fine cotton of his dress shirt, pinching again with her nails.

"Yah!" Sebastian groaned. "Quit it, wench!"

She looked triumphant. "That's right, you pay in pain, Frecklejuice." She gave Sebastian a peck on the lips. "Ciao. I guess I'll see you for 4th of July - once I heard Curly Shrimp was coming to town I made other plans for tomorrow. But don't take him anywhere without texting me first, puto."

"Hasta, zorra." Sebastian said, slapping her ass before she stepped away.

Santana had arched an eyebrow at him. "Gabacho!"

"A gabacho who's learned eighteen ways to insult your mama in Spanish!"

"Bitch!" Santana's laugh rang out as she left the bar.

"Whore!"

Sebastian smiled and finished talking with Nate before looking over at Blaine, who was engaging Shannon and Greg in conversation. The hazel eyes twinkled as he spoke with dapper charm, but he never talked for too long. He always stopped long enough to ask a question earnestly and listen attentively to the answer, nodding his curly head.

Shannon, normally bold with senior confidence, was talking to Blaine with a shy, starry-eyed expression that Sebastian had seen on Trent and Thad most frequently. Team Captain Greg, who was usually a good-natured show of bravado, was also uncharacteristically quiet. He looked impressed, in fact, as he listened to Blaine answer another one of Shannon's questions.

As he stepped toward them, the group of freshmen next to Shannon began to chant and point at Sebastian. "M..V..P! M..V..P! MVP! MVP! MVP!"

Sebastian furrowed his brow at them before he caught Blaine smiling joyfully and chanting with them. A look of pleased comprehension flashed across Sebastian's face before he smirked and hammed it up for the crowd. He looked behind him and widened his green eyes in mock-humility, pointing a long finger at his chest. "Moi?"

Greg kneeled precariously on his seat to raise his head above the large group and call out loudly, "That's right, it's time to recognize our Not-so-Little Freshman Choreographer and that lovable rogue, Frank Abagnale, Jr.!"

The larger group cheered and clapped, none louder than Blaine, who met Sebastian's eyes with a delighted look.

"I think we've all known this was coming," Greg announced with a grandiloquent gesture before he glanced down on some notes written on a cocktail napkin. "But it is my honor to make this official proclamation. Sure, we didn't win first place, and sure, when we all first met him we thought the odds were 50/50 that he would turn out to be a total and complete douche…"

Their teammates whooped at that while Sebastian smirked at him.

"But thanks to this Smooth Slave-master's bootcamp and endless rehearsals all year long, we not only placed in the top five but we also have all learned how to curse in French, kick higher than any of us ever thought we could, and body block five different ways to keep him from killing Nate everytime he screwed up a new step for the 8th time."

The group cheered again, some pointing and poking at Nate. Sebastian had stopped to stand with a hand on Blaine's shoulder.

Greg continued, this time with a more serious note in his voice. "And on top of that, he pushed Lisa, Shannon and I to get more ambitious in our choreography for our solos and drilled us until we pulled off those crazy spins back there onstage without fracturing anything."

He glanced down at his notes again. "In addition, as one of our rare freshman soloists, he slipped on the con-man persona of Frank Abagnale, Jr. so easily that I kept checking for my wallet after rehearsals. And finally, besides his thespian skills and killer dance moves, the long hours of work he did to improve his vocals really paid off tonight, yes?!"

Greg egged on the crowd, which hooted and hollered. Blaine beamed up at Sebastian, who wore a very slight, soft smile.

Shannon drew a small trophy and a gift card from her purse. Greg smiled broadly and called out, "So, without further ado...the very first Nationals MVP award _EVER_ given to a freshman in the 29 year history of Mixed Company goes to… Mr. Sebastian Smythe."

The crowd erupted in cheers and Blaine reached up to lift Sebastian's hand and kiss it.

Sebastian smirked again as came up to give his captains a warmer smile. Greg hugged him and Shannon kissed his cheek before giving him the award.

"SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH!" the group chanted. blaine stood up to demand it.

"Well, shucks," Sebastian drawled, causing chuckles as the yelling died down. "Y'all are just flattering this kid from Ohio." He bowed his head before dramatically jerking it up, as if he'd forgotten something. He pointed a finger at the group with a fire in his eye. "But if ANY ONE OF YOU think that I'm going to go easier on you next year because of this, you definitely have not gotten to know me well enough yet."

The crowd laughed and groaned.

Sebastian waved the noise down to a quieter level, walking over to Blaine to put his arm around Blaine's waist. From that secure position he began again, in a tone bordering on...earnest? It was a tone that Blaine, Karen or Rob had never heard him use in a large group. "Nonetheless, since you guys were such a bunch of flat-footed slackers when I met you, it was pretty sweet to see you kick ass tonight. I heard from my spies in the audience that quite a few other teams were puke green jealous and hating on our dancing, so you know we did something right."

The group erupted in cheers again, which propelled Sebastian to add in an uncharacteristically impulsive manner, "Oh, and if you really are thankful for anything I've done, you shouldn't just give me props, you should come thank this one," he pointed at Karen, "and this one," he pointed Blaine. "They listened to me rage about you guys after every rehearsal and kept me from giving up on you. They made me be more patient and made me…" he suddenly grew slightly self-conscious, "better."

The group burst out in reactions and applause.

"Whoo hoo, KAREN!"

"Awww…."

"How cute!"

"That must be his boyfriend, then?"

"Who knew he had a boyfriend?!"

Sebastian regretted his outburst for a moment, but when he ducked his head down slightly and glanced sideways he saw Blaine's face was shining with happiness. Any grief or questions he was going to get were definitely outweighed by Blaine's joy.

Greg raised his glass. "Now, enough with the unheard of practice of stroking a freshman's ego! Back to celebrating being national finalists, one of the top dogs in the nation… in New York City!"

The group gave a final round of applause and cheers before settling back into a steady hum and rustle of conversation. Greg got up to go to the mens room, but on his way he put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder and leaned to speak in his ear. "I have three more things for you, Smythe. (1) Don't let Lisa overrule you in song selection next year - you'll make me regret making you co-captain as a sophomore; (2) I don't know how you landed your sweet little boyfriend here, but DON'T SCREW IT UP, he's a keeper; and (3) you've done your duty and shown you're loyal to the team. Now go get a room, I know that's all you can think about right now."

Sebastian smirked at him and patted his hand. "What, you're my pimp now?"

…

Sebastian and Blaine were saying goodbye to Lisa on the other side of the table. Rob pointed at them as he said to Karen with a chuckle, "See that? Those are Blaine's 'Heart Eyes.' He uses those almost anytime Seb talks about something smart, speaks well of someone else, says something sweet to Blaine, or sometimes just when Sebastian's just sitting there doing nothing. Now the 'Heart Eyes' are not to be confused with the 'Puppy Dog Eyes,' which are used much more sparingly...to get Seb to do anything Blaine wants."

"No way…" Karen smiled in delight.

"Really! I saw for myself spring break. Now, what are the other kinds of Blaine eyes?" Rob scratched his head. "I wish it wasn't so late in Scotland, I'd try to Skype Blaine's roommate Sam, he's the one who taught me all this."

Sebastian and Blaine came around the long table and approached Rob and Karen for their final goodbyes. Sebastian saluted them. "Farewell, heteros."

As Karen and Blaine hugged, Sebastian leaned over and whispered in Rob's ear. "I'm having a porter move my things, so I'll just see you at the airport tomorrow. And I won't want to hear about you wasting a perfectly good roommate-free hotel room, bro…" he winked and lifted his chin towards Karen.

Rob rolled his eyes but smiled at his roommate. "See you tomorrow." He turned to Blaine. "I'm going to assume Seb is going to hog you to himself, and we're all meeting at the gate tomorrow, so I probably won't catch you again, B." He gave him a bear hug. "It was good to see you, big guy. Tell Sammy that my email is down but I'll reply to his last message via owl." He winked. "Oh and don't forget to tell him that Sebastian misses his abs."

Sebastian hit Rob in the arm as Blaine gave him a warm smile. "Bye... It was really great to see you and catch up a little. Sam gets so excited every time he gets one of your emails. We talk all the time about how we miss being all together, the four of us." He glanced at Sebastian, whose expression was patient and almost sentimental. Almost.

Blaine continued with a sweet smile. "Hopefully we can figure out a way to get the four of us together again sooner than later." Then he leaned closer and added softly, "And it was great to meet Karen. I LOVE her, you guys are so good together!"

Rob shook his head and gave him a small smile, pushing him away with good humor. "Great, now I'm getting commentary from both of you…" He waved a hand dismissively, "Go on you two, get out of here. Go enjoy the city."

Blaine gave him a last smile and Sebastian gave him a smirk before they walked out of the restaurant holding hands.

The air felt crisp and perfect and as they stepped out onto 44th street. "So, what do you want to do, MVP?"

"I have an idea or two," Sebastian said mysteriously as he slipped his hand in Blaine's. "Nothing too exciting though, so set your expectations accordingly. You didn't give me much notice."

Blaine obligingly allowed himself to be guided down 44th Street, still not quite believing that they were in New York together.

After a comfortable pause Sebastian remarked, "Well, it was no surprise to see that everyone loved you. They were literally saying they have no idea how I managed to hook you." He paused as Blaine looked up at him to smile into his eyes. "But I must say, It was kind of weird seeing you with all those guys."

Blaine nodded, "I bet. It was like your worlds collided, right? I..." he stopped himself short and felt a sense of dread begin to fill his body. _I felt that way on my almost-wedding day._ He bit his lip and chastised himself for almost ruining Sebastian's night. "I'm so happy to have finally met them all. Karen is awesome, I love that you have a hag at Stanford!" he teased.

Sebastian shook his head and chuckled. "Why do we have to be a gay cliché? Can't she just be the least annoying girl I know?"

"It takes too long to say all that. She's your hag," Blaine pressed his head affectionately on Sebastian's shoulder. "Wait a minute. What about Santana?"

"She's the _most_ annoying girl I know." Sebastian smirked. "Well whatever Karen is, she looked like she was caught in the Blaine Anderson Prince Charming trance just like everyone else."

Blaine smiled. "Awww. Oh, my goodness she and Rob are sweet, aren't they? He's looser with her, a little more chatty - love is so adorable on him! And the looks, the little touches they give each other!"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "Yeah, that's the daily show I get. But to their credit, they don't get too P-Disgusting-A, thank god. I haven't walked in on them making out on the couch yet. I'm thinking of giving them some space to make some noise by getting a hotel room every other Saturday." _Or crash at Jay's parents' house,_ Sebastian omitted, remembering Blaine's outburst in Florida.

"Baby, you are an amazing roommate," Blaine said, rubbing Sebastian's lower back. "That's really wonderful of you." If Rob had been there, he would have seen the heart eyes in effect.

They turned onto 7th Street and Sebastian looked determined as they headed towards his destination. "I'm just managing things so Rob and I don't kill each other. We just signed up to live together again next year."

Blaine smirked. "Let me guess, you got an email from the dorm administration, one of you forwarded it to the other with just a question mark, and the other replied with just an 'ok.'"

Sebastian chuckled. "Actually we both happened to be home so no emails were necessary, it was just:

'hey, did you just get a thing from Student Housing?'

'yeah, you wanna?'

'sure.'"

Blaine chuckled. "I'm so glad you guys are living together again. If you hadn't I would have made you change your mind. You two are so perfect together."

Sebastian squeezed Blaine's hand and teased, "And who are _you_ perfect together with?"

"You, of course." Blaine smiled and leaned up to give him a peck.

Sebastian looked a little more closely at him as they pulled away, slowing their stride a bit. "You look tired, babe. I didn't order a car because it's not a very long walk. But I can flag a cab if you..."

Blaine squeezed his hand and shook his head. "No, no - I told you, I'm just mussed from my trip. I slept some on the plane. I'm actually pumped just from being around all of you Mixed Company people on your post-competition high."

Sebastian still looked doubtful. "Well, it's 4AM in Scotland so tell me when the high wears off and we can grab a cab and get to bed…"

"I'm surprised you didn't grab a cab to take me to bed the minute we stepped out of the restaurant," winked Blaine.

Sebastian looked determined again. "I just wanted to do a couple of quick things tonight because they're on our way to the hotel."

"How is this on our way?" Blaine looked puzzled. "I thought Rob said the Hilton was right by the theatre..." He looked back towards 44th Street.

Sebastian smirked. "Please, as if I would stay in that crackerjack box if I didn't have to bunk with the team. I got us a suite in a hotel worthy of you. But don't worry, I can ask them to bring up a rollaway bed if you want us to be proper non-boyfriends." He cocked his head, widened his eyes innocently and let go of Blaine to assume a prayer position with his elegant hands.

Blaine laughed and pulled at him to swing their hands as they walked. "Let me guess, the Ritz. I like how you treat those places like they are your favorite aunt's house."

"No, I never stay at the Ritz in New York," Sebastian said with an enigmatic smile.

"And when did you book a suite? You didn't know I was coming..."

"I called my travel agent while I was backstage during Shannon and the girls' number."

Blaine's beautiful eyes looked green and gold as they twinkled at him. "You're so quick! And full of surprises. Well, I'm sure whatever you booked is going to be marvelous. You're always so good to me." He leaned up to kiss Sebastian's cheek.

Sebastian leaned into the kiss as they walked, enjoying the particular satisfaction he got from spoiling Blaine.

Blaine pulled them out of the crowd to the side and pulled out his phone. "Hold on, I should text Cooper's friend Andy and tell him I won't be back until the morning."

Sebastian smiled smugly at him and pulled him back into the crowd. "Already taken care of. I called Coop and he told his buddy that you have a place to stay for your whole visit, and that a porter would come to move all your things. No point in you moving back and forth."

"You don't miss a step," Blaine gave him a gratified look and squeezed his hand.

Sebastian smiled softly and they walked on for just another second before the Funny Girl marquee came into view. They practically held their breath until they passed it, in what felt like a neverending, awkward silence.

Then Sebastian was licking his lips and taking a deep breath as they burst out into Times Square, lit up like broad daylight in the particular artificial hue that earned its nickname as The Great White Way. As they made their way towards Broadway, the noise of the Saturday night crowd grew to a louder buzz. Tourists and New Yorkers threaded through one another along the buildings that seemed to suddenly loom higher than ever. They heard the grinding of taxicabs braking as pedestrians hailed them and Blaine blinked at the huge, brilliantly lit billboards for big musicals, pay-per-view events, Abercrombie, Disney, Coca-Cola, Kodak, Microsoft, Vogue... [](http://imgur.com/OnvZCuR)

[x](http://www.google.com/url?q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2Fwhere%2Ftimes-square-without-the-_b_5570317.html&sa=D&sntz=1&usg=AFQjCNFe9MbagyKAiVLoQXUfZ54fhB5Nxg)

Suddenly Sebastian whirled him around by the arm to face him, almost as if they were dancing. Blaine looked at him with surprise as Sebastian let go of his hand so he could wrap his arms around him and kiss him intensely.

Blaine's hand pressed against Sebastian's chest as he surrendered to the kiss, instantly parting his lips and feeling the strong, sexy muscle through the thin shirt. The hustle and bustle and bright lights all around contrasted with the firm, dark wet heat of Sebastian's tongue thrusting into his mouth. Blaine felt literally swept off his feet, stepping backwards and almost stumbling off the sidewalk. Sebastian's arm caught him, almost dipping him, holding him even closer, holding him even tighter in their consuming kiss.

Blaine had to pull away to whisper, "Bas, you're hurting me a little."

Sebastian's eyes opened in alarm and he instantly loosened his crushing hold. "I'm sorry babe, are you okay?"

Blaine looked at him reassuringly with an amused smile. "Yes, yes, Tiger. You just don't know your own strength." He pulled closer again with darkened eyes. "Don't stop..." He licked back into Sebastian's mouth and they lost track of time and space again, the tumult of Times Square a heady backdrop to the pounding in their chests and the rush of blood everywhere else.

A cab honked as it turned the corner, precariously close. Sebastian pulled them further in on the sidewalk and Blaine chuckled, "What are we doing, kissing in the middle of this circus? We're going to get trampled or run over in this crazy place."

Sebastian's eyes were serious as he spoke between more kisses. "We're doing something we'll remember…" his teeth tugged on Blaine's lower lip. _Something I know PDA-phobic Hummel never did with you,_ he thought _._ "We're doing something that's yours and mine in this town," he whispered in Blaine's mouth. "I'm showing the world how I feel about you," he kissed Blaine hungrily, "in the most crowded, public place there is in this city." He entered Blaine's mouth again, sucking on his tongue before kissing him again. "I want all of New York City," he glanced over Blaine's shoulder at the Vogue billboard, "to know that you're mine." He leaned back down into Blaine's smiling mouth to kiss urgently again, his lips and tongue demanding and possessive.

When they finally paused for air again, Blaine said breathed out tenderly, "And you're mine. I want the world to know you're mine."

Sebastian felt the tightness in his chest begin to unwind a bit and he slowed their kisses until he was just holding Blaine, his cheek in the curly hair. "Goddamn, I've missed you so much."

…

"So are we going to spend the rest of the night kissing until I feel like I'm going to pass out at every visually stunning place in the city?" Blaine whispered with a weak smile. "Because there are a lot of them."

"The plan was for this to be the last stop before I ravished you and we spent the rest of the night doing more than kissing until we pass out in our suite," Sebastian smirked against his lips, letting his hand meander down to Blaine's ass. "But if you want we can keep roaming the city. We've got all night and I don't mind groping you in public…"

Blaine gave him a quick flirtatious look before turning around and snuggling back into his arms, his back nestling against his chest. "No, this is amazing and more than enough for the night. I've never been up here and it's the perfect way to end the school year. It even rolls off the tongue," he said with a smile as he looked out on the vista. "We were at the Top of the Mark at the beginning of the year, now we're at the Top of the Rock at the end of the year..." His hazel eyes looked out dreamily at the spectacular view of the New York City lights as Sebastian's arms tightened around him.

[x](https://www.google.com/url?q=https%3A%2F%2Fnewyorksightseeingtours.wordpress.com%2Ftag%2Ftop-of-the-rock-price%2F&sa=D&sntz=1&usg=AFQjCNEdENShZktbug2tGw_6rOjf5TKbEQ%22)

Sebastian felt some relief at Blaine's statement, but his expression was sober. "I was hoping you'd never been up here before," he whispered in Blaine's ear. "I figured you'd been up the Empire State, everyone's done that." He continued, as if to convince himself, "It's better up here, the view is pretty much unobstructed and it's so much less claustrophobic than on that tired cliché of an observation deck." The green eyes were stormy for a second. "Plus you can _see_ the Empire State from here."

Blaine's heart twisted as he put together Sebastian's tone with his remarks in Times Square. He turned around to look meaningfully into Sebastian's eyes and cradle his cheek in his hand. "It's perfect. _We're_ perfect." He wanted to comfort him more but he didn't dare say more in case it would come across as patronizing.

So instead of saying another word, he just put his arms around Sebastian's neck and kissed him. His wish was almost a prayer: _I love you_ , _please know it._ Blaine put all his love into the press of his lips, the sweet stroking of his tongue, the pull of his arms and the push of his body. He kissed him again and again. _I love you._ Again, like a prayer. _More than Kurt, more than_ anyone _else._

Then he pressed their foreheads together. "Let's get out of here."

…

"Okay, give it up," Blaine ordered as they came out on the sidewalk in front of 30 Rockefeller Plaza. "What is my final surprise for the night...where are we staying?"

"You'll see when we get there, Bossy." Sebastian winked as he made a sweeping gesture to the curb, where a sleek black limousine was parked.

The driver standing beside it asked, "Mr. Smythe?"

"Yes," Sebastian replied as Blaine looked at him with delight.

The driver held open the rear door for them and Sebastian gestured for Blaine to get in first.

"Seb, this is incredible. You didn't have to…"

"Don't get too excited, it's only a five minute ride."

"A five minute ride? We could have walked…"

"Where we're going, you don't come on foot the first time you arrive to stay," Sebastian smirked as the driver shut the door.

Blaine shook his head and smiled. "And you said _I_ have a flair for the dramatic?"

Sebastian drew an arm around him and pulled him close. "Shut up and kiss me."

[x](http://gifgifbeam.beon.ru/tag/Glee/17.html)

...

About five minutes later, they drew to a stop, breathless and smiling as they extracted themselves from their embrace.

Sebastian drew his hand over Blaine's eyes. "Hold on."

"Oh come on," Blaine said, laughing and shaking his head again. "Where are we?"

The driver opened the door and with a smirk Sebastian removed his hand from Blaine's eyes, pulling on his hand as they slid out of the seat. "Where are we? Park Avenue, Killer. Where else would we be?"

Blaine took in a breath as he looked up at the gorgeous gilt facade of the hotel. "The Waldorf Astoria," he said with a happy grin. "Of course…"

[x](http://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/isidore-and-joan-schwartz-celebrate-their-60th-wedding-anniversary-for-1680-a-night)

Sebastian looked at Blaine's delighted face with pleasure. "I always stay here when I'm in New York. If it's good enough for every sitting president since Herbert Hoover, it should be good enough for us." _I_ know _Hummel never brought him here,_ he thought, his face darkening for a moment.

Blaine squeezed his hand. "You're too much. This is amazing. My parents have stayed here, but when we came as a family Cooper talked them into trying the W."

Sebastian chuckled. "I bet your dad complained about how dark the hallways are."

"Exactly! And the hipster music that was piped into their suite."

Sebastian tipped the driver generously as he warned, "Don't get too excited, I couldn't get the presidential suite, that requires a background check your surprise visit didn't allow time for." He added with rueful smile, "Plus it costs ten grand a night and I couldn't get away with that even if I changed my major to pre-law."

Sebastian looked fondly down at Blaine's glowing face as they swept through the lobby doors. "We'll get the presidential suite on opening night, the first time you star on Broadway. There's a dining room that seats ten, so your public school friends can invade and celebrate with you...with the Warblers, of course. Plus it has bulletproof windows, in case Berry goes postal in a fit of jealousy."

[x](https://www.google.com/url?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fbystedt&sa=D&sntz=1&usg=AFQjCNH6gF8_IYA44_zS4Q_SbHF29N_pMQ)

Blaine chuckled as he put his arm around Sebastian's waist and looked around the palatially appointed lobby in awe. "You're ridiculous. THIS is ridiculous. I would sleep in a cardboard box as long as I get to be with you."

Sebastian kissed his curly head as they strolled across the deeply carpeted floor to the front desk. "Nope, not good enough for you, babe."

While Sebastian checked in, Blaine wandered the lobby a bit, marvelling at the elegant furniture, the ornate clock, the well-heeled fellow guests. When Sebastian returned to his side he leaned up to kiss his cheek. "You didn't have to do this, but thank you. This place is amazing. It's just perfect for our first visit to New York together, I've heard it's very much like The Mark - such a unique and historic place. You're so good to me."

Sebastian smiled at him as they walked toward the elevators. "Yes, it's one of a kind and the best of its kind - just like you, Killer. No two rooms are even alike, and when it was built in the 30's it was the largest and tallest hotel in the world at the time. Now some gauche thing in Dubai has that title. But they can't say that your Grace Kelly and Ole Blue Eyes rented apartments upstairs at one time. Do you want to go dance up at the Starlight Roof Club?"

"No, just bringing me here is enough," Blaine said with an endearing smile. He pushed the elevator button and examined the ornately carved elevator doors. "Really, this is too much." He leaned up for another peck on Sebastian's lips, trying to preserve the sensation to his memory before they would have to say goodbye again.

Sebastian looked with affection down at Blaine. "It's the least I can do when you rearranged rehearsals for your international debut, just to watch us lose at Nationals." His expression took on mock sorrow. "I would have understood it if we lost to a team with Blaine Anderson at the helm. But you weren't even competing! How humiliating..."

They stepped into an empty elevator. Blaine wrapped his arms around Sebastian's waist and lay his head on Sebastian's chest. "Well if you had sung lead for all three songs, you guys would have won."

Sebastian ran his long fingers through Blaine's curly locks as he spoke in his lowest, sexiest voice. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Anderson." His words hung in the air, fraught with promise. It wasn't long before he delivered on it, leaning down to coax Blaine's face up and kiss him sensuously.

For the first time that night Sebastian lost complete track of where they were, how it might compare, and anything else. All that remained was the want radiating from Blaine's body against his, the heat emanating from Blaine's back under his fingertips, the sinful feeling of Blaine's ass when his hand drifted down for a lustful caress. There was no sense of anything but the wet, hot thrusting of their tongues exhibiting what they wanted of their bodies; the feeling of the blood rushing as they started to grind, lips moving ravenously. Blaine pushed him against the wall of the elevator, making Sebastian groan and not care that the railing pushed painfully against his lower back.

Their breath was getting shorter and the push of their hips became more rhythmic when the elevator dinged. As Blaine dragged them out he pulled the keycard out of Sebastian's hand and glanced at it. Sebastian slipped an arm around his waist and nibbled at his neck while Blaine guided them down the hall.

The didn't have to go far before they stopped, opened the door, and flipped on the light. As distracting as Sebastian's lips were on his neck, Blaine's eyes widened in awe as he took in the lavish suite. "Seb...it's so gorgeous," he breathed.

[x](http://waldorfnewyork.com)

Sebastian's head came up slowly and he looked pleased, wrapping his arms around Blaine from behind as he looked around. "Not bad, eh? Sorry it isn't bigger, this is all they had at the last minute for less than a G. A grand is the flag for my father's secretary to rat me out."

Blaine chuckled. "This is huge, are you kidding me?" He pulled out of the circle of Sebastian's arms to hold his hand and walk slowly around in the room. "Seb really, this is...wow." He looked around at the richly elegant vintage colonial furniture and the...Blaine stopped to smile softly. He flushed, looking at the French doors separating the living room from the bedroom. Then he stopped and turned back to Sebastian with a sly look on his face.

"What?"

"I told Tina after spring break that my Achilles heel is you, shirtless in Armani trousers standing next to a set of French doors."

Sebastian smiled seductively atvhim and sauntered over towards the glass doors, slipping off his blazer and starting to unbutton his shirt as he walked. He turned around as he reached Blaine, unfastening his cuffs. His shirt was now open almost to the waist, revealing expanses of tanned, toned chest that made Blaine's salivary gland start working. "Will Fendi do? The Armani pants didn't work with the rest of my costume."

Blaine's smile was sweetly sexy as he walked toward him, brushing past the pile of luggage the porters had left. "I suppose I can make an exception." He pushed him against the door, his hands gripping Sebastian's firm biceps as he pressed his body against the glass. Blaine hummed at the feeling of their flesh aligning as he drew forward, the loving look in his eyes contrasting with the feral licking of his lips.

He pressed his leg between Sebastian's and slipped his arms around him to hold him tight. Sebastian's hands moved down steadily, grabbing handfuls of sumptuous ass and groaning softly. Their mouths sought each other and their once again hardening cocks pushed to grind again. And again. And again.

"I'm so lucky to be with you. You are the most wonderful man I've ever met," Blaine whispered as he drew down to lick a trail of wet kisses down Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian was surprised at the tears that sprang to his eyes. He thrust his erection harder against Blaine's as he whispered, "I've missed you so much, B. Fuck, I need...I want you closer."

Blaine groaned and nodded into his collarbone, taking in his scent. He moved his hands to press and stroke all over the strong muscles of Sebastian's chest. He kissed at the smattering of beauty spots as he unbuttoned the last two buttons while Sebastian kneaded the back of his neck and upper back, closing his eyes and leaning his head back on the door.

Off came the fine white shirt, inch by inch, while Blaine's lips came up and roamed along Sebastian's collarbone, over his shoulder, down his bicep, over to his chest again as he rubbed his erection on Sebastian's inner thigh. "You are so beautiful, I can't wait to make you feel so good." He stepped back and pulled at his hand. "God come on, I want to see all of you spread out under me."

Sebastian latched onto his neck again and they stumbled to the bedroom, stripping each other down to their briefs and kissing everywhere they could as they went. Along hipbones and abs, on shoulders and along expanses of back, with pressure on firm and supple skin, hands pulling at hips and hungrily squeezing at asscheeks between impatient strokes at their cocks.

Blaine pushed Sebastian on the luxurious bed, instinctively knowing he still needed to take care of him tonight. The green eyes were passionate and loving but there was an unspoken need there that went straight to Blaine's heart. So Blaine took his time, fondling and kissing down every inch he could reach of his lover's hotly responsive body, with special attention to Sebastian's cock, now leaking with pre-come. Blaine's hands smoothed over Sebastian's taut abs as he mouthed at his cock through the cotton of his boxer briefs. Sebastian groaned, "B, don't tease me, it's been a month since I've had you…"

Blaine obligingly peeled off the offending layer of clothing, kissing each inch of exposed skin as he went and taking in his scent. Little by little, nipping and licking and kissing down Sebastian's abdomen, nosing at him as his hands splayed and roamed the skin he wasn't covering with his mouth. The attention to his naked cock was light, kissing and licking but not sucking yet...because sometimeshe just couldn't resist teasing The Great Sebastian Smythe, just a little. It was sweet justice after all the merciless teasing Sebastian enjoyed dishing out via Skype, text and email on a daily basis.

"B," Sebastian panted, "You fucking tease god your mouth...god please suck me I swear you don't have to swallow…"

Blaine only continued on his sensuous way, his only concessions were smoothing touches on Sebastian's dick with his deft fingertips.

"Fuck B, come on…" Sebastian's hips thrusted up.

Blaine conceded again by speeding up slightly as he worked his way down Sebastian's legs, lightly teasing the hair. Then he lapped at Sebastian's feet, the red tongue at his ankle bones sending a surprising zing to his cock. Blaine started coming back up in response to Sebastian's soft whining, the bucking of his hips.

"B, I swear if you don't suck me off…" Sebastian threatened.

"Patience, Mr. Smythe, enjoy this and relax..." Blaine said soothingly. His skillful hands followed the kisses up the inside of his strong calves, massaging Sebastian's fatigued muscles with strong, heavenly fingers before sliding the weight of his chest gradually up his body. Sebastian was indeed trying to relax, but it was hard to do when his naked skin tingled, increasingly sensitive as Blaine rubbed up stretches of warm flesh as he glided over him.

As Blaine leaned down again he kissed the more sensitive inside of Sebastian's legs again, his hands marveling at the strong muscles of his outer thighs before reaching up and gliding up and down his waist, spanning his abs and his chest with sure pressure, circling both his nipples at once before his mouth came up to suckle at them in turn.

"Babe, fuck, god you are fucking spoiling me you angel…" Sebastian sputtered out as he writhed and ran his hands over Blaine's back, pushing into every heated lick and push of his mouth and hands. Blaine kissed down the center of his abs, stroking with his deft fingers down his sides and stopping to lick into his navel before licking and kissing down his treasure trail again.

Then Sebastian was groaning as Blaine finally surrounded his cock with the wet, tight heat of his mouth, sliding up and down, sucking on the tip until he bucked up, his tongue thrusting around the shaft in a wicked way that made him writhe. "Ahh fuck babe ah god…"

His desperate moaning brought gratified humming, sending vibrations that had Sebastian gripping the sheets to keep from stuttering his hips hard and hurting Blaine.

Blaine pulled off momentarily to pant out in an breathy tone, "Let go baby, it's okay, just let go..." He engulfed Sebastian's cock again with even greater hunger, alternating between sucking hard, licking up and down his length, and swirling his tongue around his generous girth in a way that made Sebastian's eyes close and see stars. Blaine's hands slipped underneath Sebastian's firm ass, pushing him up into Blaine's mouth, fucking his large cock as far in and out as possible.

Then Sebastian's hands were in Blaine's curls, hips bucking as he fucked into his mouth, pushing into the precious wet heat, his cock pulsating and pleasured beyond description. He looked down at Blaine's half-closed eyes, his dark lashes a thick fringe over a devilishly satisfied and debauched expression.

Sebastian pushed in and out, in and out, in and out of those gorgeous, reddened lips sucking and driving his slick, magnifying arousal to heights that threatened to launch him out of his mind. In and out, in and out, never wanting an end but dying to come...His eyes shut again to see heightened spots of intensity as he fucked harder and faster, beads of sweat beginning the drip. Fucking in and out because Blaine wanted it, Blaine wanted him.

Until ohhhh fuck the white hot explosion of an orgasm beyond belief, climaxing down Blaine's throat with a shout, Blaine blessedly sucking every last drop of pleasure out of him in his final thrusts until he was just left with the exquisite throbbing, the overpowering pleasure and a wave of emotion that left him feeling like he was floating outside his body.

_God, I love you._

He was breathing hard as Blaine finally laid his whole body on top of his, warm and supple, followed by soft kisses on his neck before they just lay in silence for a minute.

"Jesus, you nearly killed me."

Blaine smiled before he nibbled on his earlobe. "You nearly killed yourself. You are so type-A... Even after I told you to let go, you couldn't just be lazy and let me service you…"

Sebastian chuckled. "You'll never service me, you're not my mechanic. You mean I couldn't just let you suck my dick." He continued with a smile that was relaxed and sated. "I'm so tired from the last couple of weeks you'd think I would just let you do all the work, but you were so insanely good that I couldn't help but want to fuck into your amazing mouth." His eyes glanced at him with concern. "I hope I didn't hurt you." He started to sit up and coax Blaine to move up with him. "C'mere. Your turn."

But he was pushed gently on his back, landing on his elbows. Blaine rolled off of him and leaned on his side, his nimble fingers tracing patterns between the widely spaced beauty spots on Sebastian's chest. "I'm fine. Relax. I'm not done with you yet." He smiled into Sebastian's adoring eyes and pointed to their left. "I'm guessing there is an enormous jacuzzi tub in an extravagantly sized bathroom behind that door. I'm going to put your gorgeous, stressed out body in it to loosen you up even more in some amazing, hot, lavender-scented water. And then I'm going to bring you back out on this glorious bed and I'm going to fuck you and fill you until you feel every bit of pleasure and release you need. And I'm going to get more than enough pleasure and release for myself while I'm at it."

He rubbed Sebastian's chest and gave him a soft, brief kiss. "I want you to stop taking care of me for once while we're together; I want you to stop working so hard even at sex. I want you to stop chasing for once in your competitive life. I want you to even stop chasing after your orgasm and let it come to you. Believe me, I've been with you enough times to know how to bring it. I want you to just take in every bit of loving I'm going to give you. I want you to just let go and let me take care of you tonight."

Sebastian collapsed down flat on his back and and stared at the ceiling, flexing his arms to run his hands through his hair. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"What did you ever do?" Blaine speculated, scrubbing a bit of cum off his chin and looking at his own hand with amusement as he rubbed his fingers together to clean it off. His hazel eyes were reassuring and kind. "You take care of me with your strong and beautiful heart...you love more people and things than you care to admit...you work hard and you do the right thing. Those are just a few of the things you do to deserve this." He started to sing softly as he ran his sensitive fingers along Sebastian's cheek:

 _[Hear an encore of "Wonderland" by Rachel Fuller on our "I'm Gonna Miss You Too" YouTube playlist or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine_ ]

 _I will hold you, I will catch you_  
_When you feel like you're falling_  
_When you feel like you're falling_

 _And I'll be near you, I will hear you_  
_When you are calling_  
_When you are calling_

Sebastian pulled Blaine up on top of himself to kiss him and bury his face in his neck. "God you have no idea much I needed to see you, after such a shit week," he said, his voice muffled in Blaine's soft skin as his hands roamed and cupped Blaine's ass.

"I can tell," Blaine said softly. "I'm so glad you have glee club - you seem to enjoy it so much. But it's hard work and stressful before Nationals. And you seemed tired and stressed on the phone about everything else this week, too." He ran his fingers through the silky chestnut hair and massaged his scalp. "But I'm here now. You just need to recharge. We can even make love in the morning." He looked at Sebastian's face as he considered the idea. "Yes, that's a good idea - you look tired. Let's just go to sleep, baby. We have all day tomorrow."

Sebastian smirked and objected faintly, his cheek still pressed against Blaine's hair. "No...we can't mar our record. We fucked all night the last two times I saw you. We're not even boyfriends yet, we can't get boring so soon."

Blaine propped his chin on his hands to rest on Sebastian's chest before rolling his eyes. "I'm going to ignore that comment equating being boyfriends with being boring only because I am taking pity on your cute, sorry butt."

Sebastian opened his mouth but closed it again when it was clear Blaine wasn't finished. "Instead I will remind you that the first time we made love all night was after you took a two hour nap almost every day over winter break. The second time was in Orlando, where you took your fair share of naps, too.

"Now, however, we are in the middle of midterms… in fact you have a midterm day after tomorrow, which is exactly when an all nighter's worth of sleep deprivation would hit you if we went at it all night tonight. Plus, I'm jetlagged beyond belief right now and I bet if I give my body a moment to stop I will drop unconscious. So we're going to sleep and I promise I'll jump you, just like I promised, in the morning."

"You're mean," Sebastian pouted, rolling Blaine off of him to spoon him. "Fine. But going on the record, I am not too tired. When we remember this night we will recall that I was more than willing to fuck all night. You are the one to put the kibosh on a perfect night of sex."

Blaine chuckled. "Sure, sure, anything to preserve your precious ego and reputation. Now roll over, we have to get under the covers."

Sebastian flopped over obligingly and then dragged himself heavily under the covers, still a bit boneless after such an intense orgasm. He closed his eyes and listened to Blaine scurry to turn the overhead lights off before slipping back into bed and cuddling back into him.

Sebastian's cock felt a twitch as Blaine's ass backed into it. He spoke up in a tired voice. "Mmm your ass feels delicious. I haven't had enough time with your ass tonight. Let me just fuck you once before we go to sleep."

"Good night, Seb."

"Hmph."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this shorter chapter of fluff, borderline Seblangst and some smut thrown in there for good measure. What did you think? Is Seb believable here for you? He's gotten himself pretty wound up again and even Blaine's presence doesn't soothe him immediately...because of you know, the Klaine factor. Turns out Jeff Warbler had a point, eh? I felt bad for poor Sebby, he was just trying to too hard! I did love him showing off about the Waldorf. Your expensive taste isn't what impresses Blaine, dear. Thanks to Beta readers Dori, Rose and our newest addition, Avani! It Avani who called the Empire State and Waldorf business "shadowboxing," which made me smile.
> 
> I feel like Rachel Berry lately...and Tinkerbell. I need reviews to live! Seriously, I really appreciate you dropping a line and saying hello. I always appreciate hearing what is working for you and what is not, or just that you are still out there! It's motivating and fun. Thanks for reading!


	35. The Cloisters, The Burghers, and Decision Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seblaine's first afternoon together in New York; Sebastian is helping people close to him right and left; Jealous!Blaine rears his mopeyhead; Rob and Karen show their love for Sebastian; Blaine decides on a school!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Darling Readers,
> 
> My profuse apologies for making you wait so long for this chapter. You can blame Grant and Barry Allen partially for my distraction. In addition, as Cristina, one of our awesome Beta committee reminded me, this chapter was a bit of a beast, it truly runs the gamut, from sweetness to meditative wistful romance to angst to friendship to family stuff to attempted comedy to more romance to smuttishness! Hopefully there is something for everyone in here. Do drop a line and give us feedback so we can keep giving you the stuff you love and work on what we can improve!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> Tiburonwriter

"Yo, Rob-o!" Sebastian hailed from across a distance in the terminal. "Do you have any of those Kashi bars left? I need fuel to study on the plane. There is nothing but crap around here to eat."

Rob looked up from his studying. "Is he drunk?" he said to Karen, smiling as he bent down to dig through his backpack. He sat up again and chuckled as he narrowed his eyes at his approaching roommate. "I mean, is it just me, or does he have an actual _spring_ in his step?"

Karen smiled as she turned to assess their friend with unmasked fondness. "I don't know, I think it's pretty much just the usual swagger he has when he's in a good mood. But I can see what you're talking about, there's an extra something there, maybe it's less in his walk than his face. He's a little...re-energized? But it's not just energy..." she tapped her highlighter on her book as she tried to suss it out.

Rob fired the granola bar 30 feet to Sebastian, who whipped his arm out to catch it with one hand like a baseball. Leaning back in his seat again, Rob put an arm around Karen's shoulders and looked calmly mirthful. "I'd almost forgotten what Sebastian's like when he's been with Blaine. He's so much more...human."

"He's happier...and more peaceful, that's what he is." Karen concluded with a soft smile.

"Let's hope it lasts," Rob murmured.

As Sebastian drew closer he drawled, "Greetings, children...how was your day on the town? Kewpie, did you have any Carrie Bradshaw moments to put in that Emmy winning pilot script you're going write one day?"

"Maybe," Karen said, twisting her mouth to one side thoughtfully. "If I work up a good scene from any of it, I'll let you know. "

Sebastian parked his suitcase, dropped his messenger bag and crashed down in the seat next to Karen. He bumped Rob's arm off Karen's shoulder, replacing it with his own long limb. "Hey, stop hogging my girl. Just because you started buying her Italian dinners and daisies, it doesn't mean you own her."

Rob ignored him, returning to his textbook.

Karen squeezed Rob's forearm and looked up at Sebastian mildly. "Well, with Blaine in town you didn't have a moment to give me the time of day." She reached up to pat his hand. "As it should be. I'm thankful you even let us meet him last night. When Greg reported seeing you passionately kissing someone outside the stage door, I was expecting a text from you about a relapse of whatever was ailing you on Friday night."

Sebastian gave her a half smile, amused at how well she knew him. "Blaine wanted to meet you. And he wanted to see your swain again, though I can't fathom why."

"Blaine has said I'm 'a great, handsome guy,'" Rob replied dryly, not looking up.

"He says that about everyone," Sebastian said lazily, twirling a strand of Karen's light brown hair around his finger.

"Maybe. But regardless, you have no need to worry. I'm still straight - I won't try to steal your man," Rob responded absentmindedly as he switched over to his spiral full of lecture notes.

"I'm not going to even dignify that with witty reparteé. But I _will_ thrill your So Cal beach bum heart by reporting that Blaine thought our girl here was ' _AWESOME.'"_ Sebastian drew air quotes with one hand. He smirked and added with a dash of genuine affection, "And worthy of you.'"

Rob smiled calmly at them both and looked down at his book again.

"Well, I think Blaine's awesome and worthy of _you_ ," Karen smiled up at Sebastian. Then she gestured at Rob. "I mean, I knew Mr. Monosyllabic over here probably did not do him justice in his blink-and-you-miss-it spring break report, but Blaine still exceeded expectations. I'm going to have to model a character after him. A sexy leading man who, though well under six-foot, does _not_ suffer from a Napoleon complex. He instead effortlessly charms everyone he meets with his beautiful eyes, bewitching talent, and empathetic nature. He will not only be devastatingly handsome and a dapper dresser, but also warm, intelligent..." She cocked her head to conjure up more descriptors. "Kind, thoughtful, charming…" She couldn't resist giving Sebastian a meaningful look, " _PATIENT..._ "

Sebastian tousled her hair and shook his head with a small smile he couldn't repress in the face of praise for Blaine.

Karen's expression grew affectionate. "I liked seeing how well he treats you. Altogether, thoroughly deserving of you, Mr. Big." She smoothed her hair out and her brown eyes twinkled up at Sebastian. "Now, what did you do with our leading man, besides presumably spending a spectacular amount of money on a suite at the Waldorf and presumably having a spectacular amount of sex in said suite?"

Sebastian smirked down at her, though his eyes were slightly puzzled. "We stayed in bed 'til probably noon; walked to and around Central Park; then took a Lincoln up to the Cloisters."

Karen looked at him with amusement. "Don't look so surprised, of course I figured you stayed at the Waldorf. You mention it every time we talk about New York. As avant-garde as you are about some things, it's pretty clear from all of your travel tales that you're a creature of habit when it comes to hotels. You've made it fairly obvious that your parents' propensity for old school five-star glamour is one of the few things about them that you are able to get behind."

"What are the Cloisters?" Rob asked quietly, glancing up from his textbook.

Sebastian stretched his neck out as he answered. "The Met's Medieval Art collection. It's all the way uptown in Washington Heights, so it's more like a Met annex. It was started by a Rockefeller bequest in the 30's." Sebastian pulled his arm out from around Karen to rip into his granola bar wrapper. "The building is somethin' else. Rockefeller commissioned the architect to secure artifacts to use in the stained glass, portals, columns, sculptures... There are three gardens, and several complete original cloisters from European monasteries that were shipped to America, stone by stone."

Sebastian bit hungrily into the granola bar. His green eyes had a far away look as he recalled the peaceful quiet of the secluded haven. Blaine hadn't spoken of his concerns again, but even after several hours in bed he had been still clearly intent to spend the rest of the day continuing to soothe his lover's New York state of mind.

They had wandered the collection without a plan or agenda. Blaine had said he didn't want to miss the overall experience by being glued to a guidebook. Sebastian was more than amenable, even though he found TourGuide!Blaine kind of adorable.

They had started in the chapel, where Blaine had lit a candle for Finn. Following his lead, Sebastian lit one too, still feeling a belated respect for Blaine's friend. He lit a candle for his paternal grandmother as well. When he had finished, he had found Blaine studying him with a poignant look on his handsome face. That was the moment when Sebastian began to appreciate their excursion on its own merits, not simply because Kurt hadn't wanted to go the Cloisters with Blaine last year.

As they moved on, arms slipped around each other's waists, they allowed themselves to be enveloped in the reverential hush of the space. They spent a bit longer in the Cuxa Cloister and garden. This was located at the heart of the museum, just as it would be in the monastery that inspired it. Sebastian's fascination with architecture halted them the moment they stepped into the cloister's walkway. After taking in the detail a bit, they turned to gaze out at the garden in the courtyard, imagining it as a place where monks would read and meditate in the twelfth century.

Later they had stopped walking in front of 13th century stained glass windows overlooking the Hudson River, their bodies fitting together again in what had become a natural accord. Sebastian's long arms immediately wrapped around his precious Blaine; Blaine instinctively nestled back against his sweetheart's broad chest, reaching automatically to kiss Sebastian's palm. "Let's take this feeling back with us," Blaine had whispered. "I'm so grateful for today."

Sebastian had closed his eyes for a brief second in an attempt to preserve the afternoon in his memory: the meditative silences; the sound of their footsteps through the quiet rooms and stone courtyards; their shadows in the sunshine. More importantly, he wanted to remember the feeling of Blaine's hand in his own as they wandered the galleries and grounds - the contrast of smooth and musician-roughened patches of skin, how the curves and lines of their fingers and palms fit together.

A nearby phone's ring broke Sebastian's reverie. He looked at Karen, who was reading her book again. Thankfully it didn't seem as if she had said anything requiring a response. He dropped his head down to bite into his granola bar and wondered how long he had been silently wrapped up in such an incredibly sappy train of thought. He also wondered how he could suddenly miss Blaine so intensely, when just minutes ago he had been fine.

At the airport curb he had used his steely resolve to bear it all bravely, for Blaine's sake. He had been fine. He had been able to comfort Blaine's sensitive heart, wiping tears from the dark lower lashes on that achingly beautiful face. Sebastian had kissed him tenderly on the nose and on the cheeks like a little boy, whispering comforting things before meeting his lips in the most tender goodbye kiss they'd had yet. He had cradled Blaine in his arms for longer than they had kissed, rubbing soothing circles on his back and neck, kissing the top of his head and sharing soothing plans for Paris. He had even taken it all in stride as they parted, feeling gratified that he had been able to comfort Blaine, in at least some small way. But here he was, even after all of that, heart sinking like a stone. _Fucking goddamn feelings._

Karen studied her friend from behind her book, her eyes soft. When she saw him glance her way again, she lifted her head tentatively and said gently, "It sounds beautiful. I may have to work the Cloisters into a screenplay. Soon you'll have material for me from Paris, too...this summer is just around the corner. I am so grateful for that."

 _Paris._ With that, Sebastian's mood shifted slightly upwards again. He focused on taking a breath and drawing composure from it. _6 weeks to Paris._

Before he could slip into his thoughts further, Rob stood up, with a brief glance at Karen. "We don't have time to be grateful, not with vector calculus tomorrow. Come on, bro. Let's go get some coffee. There must be bottle of Courvoisier with your name on it around here somewhere."

Sebastian looked from Karen to his roommate with a jaded half-smile. "You two make me I feel like I'm being handed off between my nanny and my tutor." But he stood up and patted Karen's cheek. "What do you want, Diva? Your usual chai concoction?"

Karen nodded, looking down at her book again and careful not to cast any unnerving, sympathetic glances. "And a brownie. Actually, make it two because you're going to end up eating half of mine."

"Better yours than mine," Rob said to her, putting his hand on Sebastian's shoulder and steering them away.

"One second you two are coddling me like helicopter parents, the next you're ganging up on me. I'm going to hang with Greg and Shannon they might be more distracting with their senioritis, but it's better than the Bipolar Olympics you two have going on."

"Greg and Shannon don't have the lecture notes from Thursday that I know you need because you were snoring in class."

The chestnut brows raised slightly and the green doe eyes appeared. "Robert, have I mentioned lately what an outstanding roommate and classmate you are?"

"That's more like it. I might even let you buy my coffee."

...

Sebastian pulled his BMW to a stop and popped open the trunk as Rob and Karen got out. "Carry it up for her," he called out as they pulled out Karen's suitcase. "You know Stern's elevator only works half the time." As the trunk closed he called again, "I'll see you at home." He pulled out his phone to see who had texted. "But don't stay out too late, Sonny. I need you sharp to cheat off of on that midterm tomorrow."

Rob didn't answer as he looked at his own phone while Karen came around the car to peck Sebastian on the cheek. "Thanks for the ride," she said, ruffling his hair and moving away before she could be batted away. She waved as she stepped away. "Spectacular job this weekend, MVP."

"Bye, kiddo." Sebastian's tone was affectionate but his wave was distracted as he replied to Nick's text.

"See you at home," Rob called from the curb.

The car clock read 11:02PM. Sebastian pocketed his phone and pulled away from the curb, feeling the relief of reaching the last leg of travel. He could feel the fatigue in his muscles after five hours of study hunched over in the pressurized flight cabin. Advanced calculus certainly put a damper on even first class air travel.

But he was glad to be home. As he pulled into the parking lot, he reflected on his new home at Stanford. Dalton dormitories were luxurious by boarding school standards, but it had still been rather institutional with all the uniforms and matching shoe leather. He also had never felt connected to his junior year Dalton roommate, which led to him securing one of the few singles his senior year. The mansion in Westerville had mostly felt like a warzone; the sumptuous home in Paris, a hotel room. Ironically, his least luxurious abode, this tiny dorm suite with Rob, was the most welcome place he'd ever had to return to (outside of Blaine's arms.)

Blaine was probably fast asleep right now at the Waldorf. Sebastian could see him in his mind's eye: the dark curls pressed into the white pillowcase, dark lashes fanned out on the smooth skin, a peaceful figure in the snowy sheets. He expected a wrench in his chest at the thought, but instead he found there was merely a tug at his heart. It would be good to talk to Blaine before he went to sleep himself, but it would be criminal to call and disturb the picture in his mind.

If Blaine wasn't available, maybe he would call Santana. He was pretty sure she would be coming off a late shift at the diner, which meant she would have stories to tell about crazy customers. Yes, a late night call with Santana was always entertaining and would be a solid way to end his near-perfect weekend. He might even let her pull some dirty details from him about morning sex with Blaine. Maybe he could bribe her to mention some of them to Hummel over breakfast.

Sebastian was still smirking about this when he got out of the car and hung his messenger bag over his chest. After he pulled the suitcases and Rob's backpack out of the trunk, locked the car, and started pushing the luggage towards Roble, his phone pinged with Rob's text tone. He ignored it in favor of continuing to wearily push the suitcases across the asphalt, up the curb, past the sculpture garden in Roble's front yard and up to the dorm suite.

When he opened the door he exhaled and parked Rob's luggage just inside the door, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he headed toward his bedroom with his own suitcase.

_ROB: You need to get over here. You were right about Jay's ex. The weekend was not good, Jay's a wreck._

Sebastian abandoned his suitcase in the middle of the room, made a U-turn, and strode right back out the door.

_SEB: On my way_

...

Thomas opened the door to Jay's suite, his normally mischievous expression replaced with a sober one. He stepped into the hall, glancing at Sebastian and looking up at him oddly. "Why do you need a woman's bag to mend Jay's broken heart?"

Sebastian looked down and then spat out responses in annoyance. "It's not a...I didn't bother to take off...shut up. What happened?!"

"The shit Derek person said they are nothing. Young Jay would not let us text or call you this afternoon, as we did not know when you would return. He did not want to ruin your love festival weekend."

Sebastian ignored the 'love festival' remark, instead pushing past Thomas into the living room. The shut door to Jay's roommate's bedroom told him that Todd was either holed up inside playing video games, or out. The room was partially lit, presumably for viewing "The Notebook," which was playing on the living room's small TV.

Jay was slumped on the sofa, hair disheveled, eyes glassy. He looked up with a pained expression. "Hey."

"Hey." Sebastian said quietly, taking off his messenger bag and sitting down next to him.

Thomas looked at them, obviously torn.

"Go study," Jay said to him in a monotone. "There's no point in you flunking your midterm tomorrow because Derek is an insensitive jerk and I'm an idiot."

Sebastian dismissed Thomas with a serious look and the slightest lift of his chin. _I got this._ He wished Blaine, David or Nick were around. _At least I hope I do._

Thomas slipped out the door.

They watched the movie for five minutes, or rather, they looked in the general direction of the TV while Sebastian stole glances at a different Jay than he had ever seen.

"I take it Rob told you," Jay said finally, not looking away from Rachel McAdams' face. "I thought I heard him and Karen talking to Thomas in the hall. Thomas must have made me sound really pathetic, if Rob decided to get involved. He's usually so hands-off with other people's business."

Sebastian turned his head and shrugged as he studied him some more. "He steps in when he sees a need. Remember I told you how he kept me from getting in a fight with Blaine's roommate during Spring Break?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "He probably just guessed that Thomas, as usual, has not started studying yet and he knows my brain is at capacity for the night."

Jay finally looked over and spoke bleakly, his haggard appearance making him look much older, "You guys are nice, wanting to keep watch over me in shifts." His words were sweet but his expression was blank.

Sebastian shrugged again. "We don't have to. I can go." He floundered internally for more to say. "I get it, I know I usually want to be alone when I'm in a bad mood. I thought I would just stop by..."

"No."

"No, don't go? Or no, you don't want to be alone?" Sebastian wondered why Rob had summoned him. He was really bad at this.

"I don't know," came the wooden reply. Jay turned back to the TV.

Sebastian looked at him for a few more seconds, wondering what the hell to do.

"I don't know," Jay repeated hollowly, still staring at Ryan Gosling.

Sebastian looked between Jay and the TV for a moment. "Well I know something," he finally said, standing up.

"What?" Jay said morosely.

"I know you don't need to be watching too-skinny, then too-beardy, Gosling. If you're going to watch a sappy movie at least make it 'Crazy Stupid Love,' when he's at his hottest."

Jay looked up at him blankly.

Sebastian thought about the night long ago when Blaine called, unable to sleep after Finn's death. "Let's get you into bed. You look beat. You need sleep."

Jay looked irritated at the suggestion. "I tried to go to sleep, I can't sleep."

Sebastian was thrown for a few moments. He glanced around the room as he tried to think of what else to do. His eyes landed on Jay's baseball cleats in the corner. "Fine, then let's tire you out until you _can_ sleep." Sebastian strode over to the door. "Get up, let's go."

Jay just stared at him.

Sebastian came over and put his hand on Jay's shoulder as his conviction increased. "Come on now. You're like me, you need to run the bases to start shaking things off."

"The diamonds are all locked up for the night," Jay said slowly.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "It was an expression. We're not running anything, I don't have it in me after that flight. We'll just walk, get the blood flowing."

Jay didn't budge.

Sebastian tugged at his arm. "You can do this, J-Bake. You need a little air. Just get up, then I'll shove you around until you get your feet going. It won't be hard to remember how to walk. You've been doin' it since you were in diapers. One foot in front of the other."

Jay stared at him for a few more seconds. Sebastian pulled again, this time hard enough to force Jay to struggle to his feet.

"Come on, Cheekbones…"

"I told you not to call me that."

"I'll stop if you put your shoes on."

…

They ended up in front of the burghers, of course.

Sebastian and Jay had often gone to visit the Rodin works around campus, on their way back to the dorms after late nights of studying at various Stanford libraries. Jay would talk about the life and work of his favorite sculptor and Sebastian listened as he circled the impressive pieces, usually also thinking about his mother's career as an artist and often thinking of Blaine's as well. Eventually they would settle down on the pavement or grass nearby, sitting in silence for long stretches. Sometimes Jay spoke up about his aspirations, insecurities and frustrations as an sculptor. At first Sebastian mostly listened quietly, sometimes speaking up with a probing question or two. Eventually Jay ventured to ask about Sebastian's career plans, and by the time Mixed Company Nationals came around he almost always received a recap of the comings and goings at Sebastian's legal internship.

It was on a warm night like this, not too long ago, that they had sprawled out beneath the sculpture called _The Gates of Hell_. They ate ice cream bars from a vending machine and just stared quietly for a long time. Jay spoke of being bullied in junior high school. Sebastian complained about his father.

Tonight they were quiet as they walked slowly through the campus. Sebastian was heading them towards his favorite piece, _The Walking Man._ But along the way Jay stopped them at _The Burghers of Calais_ , the slightly larger-than-life, true story depiction of six citizens walking to sacrifice themselves for their city when Calais was under siege during the One Hundred Years War. Sebastian sighed silently at the depressing sight.

They sat down cross legged and leaned back on their hands, staring at the sculptures. A good five minutes passed.

Jay finally sat up, shaking himself a little and turning his somber eyes on Sebastian. His voice was hollow and strained. "Karen told me that Mixed Company made you MVP, that's awesome after all of your hard work for them," he said with sincere effort. "What a way to top off your weekend. Rob told me last week that Blaine was going to surprise you, that must have been amazing."

Sebastian sat up too, his green eyes soothing. "We don't have to talk about that."

Jay exhaled and looked up at the burghers. Another minute passed.

"You were right."

Sebastian looked sideways at him but didn't reply.

"Friday night we went to a movie and afterwards we went back to his parents' pool." Jay swallowed, staring up at the Burghers. "We went swimming and we were having fun and then all of a sudden it was so romantic. We got caught up in the moonlight...it was so beautiful." His expression grew ashamed. "We ended up sleeping together in the pool house. I just wanted him back so badly and he...he wanted me. We should have talked about it first but we didn't…" He trailed off, his blue eyes looking hard.

"And then afterwards we didn't talk about it, either. We fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning he was out on a run and we just helped out with his grandfather's big birthday party and everyone was assuming we were still together and we didn't say anything about it but afterwards I asked him what was going on with us. I had to make sure he felt the way I did." Jay closed his eyes.

There was a long pause. Sebastian still didn't say anything as he looked at him with a serious expression.

Jay met his gaze briefly before looking away and pausing. "You were right," he said again.

[x](http://coltonhaynesgifs.tumblr.com)

Sebastian looked down, staring at Jay's shoe.

"I know what you and Thomas were thinking, even though you didn't say anything."

Sebastian lifted his head and gave him a empathetic, but not at all apologetic, look.

"I'm actually impressed that you two, the most opinionated people I know, kept your mouths shut for as long as you did. I was hoping to come back from this weekend and tell you that you were wrong. I wanted him to meet all of you guys and my other friends here..." Jay's voice broke a bit.

Sebastian's eyes were steady and he still didn't say anything.

"But you were right. I asked him if we were back together, and what was the plan. He told me that he was sorry but that there was no plan, that he had already told me a long time ago that he didn't want to be in a long a distance relationship. He said he was sorry if I thought this weekend was going to become that. He said he still wanted to be friends, but that we just got carried away. He said he didn't regret it and he didn't think I should, either."

Sebastian finally muttered under his breath, "What a fucker. It's like he'd never met you before."

Jay nodded slowly. "I was kind of in shock again, I didn't even say anything. Not one word. I just left." His face was darkly bitter. "But hey, at least I didn't beg him to change his mind, like I did when he broke up with me on the phone in September. At least this time I didn't grovel."

Sebastian's eyes narrowed in concern as Jay exhaled and went on. "I went home and I called my best friend from high school and she helped me finally get good and mad at him. Then I went to his house this morning and told him that I DO regret sleeping with him and I'm sorry it happened. I told him that while I own my part in what happened, I wanted him to take some responsibility, too. I told him he kept saying that we were friends, but that we're not because if we were we would have talked about it before we slept together. I told him that if he was my friend he would have known that I wouldn't have slept with him unless I wanted to get back together. Then he had the nerve to say, 'College has matured me, I'm sorry I can't say the same for you.' That's when I told him that he was a weasel to try to worm his way out of any responsibility for what happened, and that he could go fuck off. Then I left so I wouldn't hit him."

Sebastian's eyebrows raised and he held back a smirk as he nodded slightly. Gentle, artistic Jay had some bite in him after all.

Jay returned his attention to one of the Burghers and they fell into silence.

After a few more minutes, Jay spoke up again despondently. "I keep thinking about my part in it all. It's true, he did tell me he didn't want to be in a long distance relationship. But then he apologized for the phone break-up and said he missed me and we started talking more than ever and he kept saying he missed me…" He trailed off before continuing with self-reproach. "I've just been such an idiot, holding out hope for six months, thinking he was changing his mind. And then I went and slept with him again. Seriously, what is wrong with me?"

Sebastian glanced at him with a mild expression. "There's nothing wrong with you. You gave him another chance. You do that, J-Bake...you see the best in people. And you're a romantic. Your _actual_ friends know that about you but don't take advantage of it. He used you, not just this weekend but when he wanted someone to pay attention to him, to listen to him go on and on about his sad little life all year. You wanted to believe, that's all."

"I was a moron wanting to believe."

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair as he searched for how to respond. "Look, I won't sugar coat it. Yeah, you shouldn't have let him use you. But you probably couldn't help it. He was your first. Some people say you never get over your first, not completely." He thought of Kurt and Blaine but pushed himself to stay focused on Jay. "But you're going to get past this." He added regrettably, "Even though it's going to suck for awhile at first."

Jay looked perplexed. "I don't know how he could just use me like that. He used to be a romantic. Remember I told you he loved Valentine's day? When we were dating he made me dinner and brought me a rose for every month we'd been together…"

Sebastian held his tongue about how cheap Hunter Derek "my parents have a pool house" Douchebag was. "People can change in college," he said simply.

"Yeah. Maybe I should, too. I don't want to be a romantic anymore." Jay's face was bitter as he stood up. "Or at least I need a break from being a romantic."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him before standing up, too. He couldn't think of anything else reassuring to say, anything that Blaine or David would say.

They started walking again and found their way to the edge of the sculpture garden, where an outdoor event was being cleaned up in the parking lot. They stopped in front of another favorite of Jay's, a piece called _The Shades_. Sebastian always called this work _The Single Ladies_ because of how similar the poses were to Beyoncé's dance moves.

[x](https://www.flickr.com/photos/thoughtcrimes/5050177740/)

"When you're up for it again, we'll go dancing," Sebastian said. "We'll take you up to the Castro and help you shake this off. You, me, Hulter, Luis, Isaac...no straights to babysit for once."

Jay stared morosely at the statue. "Ok," he replied listlessly. "Derek's been saying he's having 'a lot of FUN,'" he raised a hand in an air quote, "down in Boystown in San Diego." He shook his head. "I was so naive to think he was just flirting and dancing down there." He turned to look at Sebastian and sighed. "Maybe I should just be like him and start having casual sex. Maybe that's what I can do to shake the romantic out of me. At least until I meet someone else, until I can have what you and Blaine have." He bit his lip to keep it from trembling.

"Don't," came the immediate reply.

Jay looked at him in puzzlement, crossing his arms. "Seb, I'm 6 months older than you, but you always treat me like I'm younger than you just because you're taller or something. I'm a big boy, maybe I want to experiment. You used to do it sometimes before Blaine, right?"

Sebastian took a deep breath and sat down on the grass in front of _The Shades_. "It's ALL I used to do before Blaine."

"Oh." Jay didn't quite know what to say.

"Yeah. Blaine is the first relationship I've ever had." Sebastian said with brief, challenging look up at him. "I used to just have casual sex before that. A LOT of casual sex. Like on a weekly basis, sometimes more than once a week. All of the guys I've mentioned to you before? They were all one night stands or pretty much strictly physical things."

Jay dropped down next to him, hugging his knees to his chest and looking down. "Oh."

Sebastian leaned back on his hands and stared up at _The Shades_. "I guess I did it for a bunch of reasons, but mostly because it just felt good, physically good." He bit his lip in contemplation. "It was a good distraction, too, from other shit in my life. And...you know how I love a challenge. It was a sweet challenge to get the hottest guy in the room into bed."

He glanced over at Jay, who had his arms around his knees and was looking at him with a mild expression. "But mostly, it just felt good. Sometimes it would feel so good I'd see the guy more than once. And sometimes we'd see each other for a couple of weeks, usually not just because it was really hot, but also because there was some kind of...connection with the guy. I liked something about their...energy, personality, whatever. Obviously it was never on some deeply emotional level, because there were never any actual dates or even any very long get-to-know-you conversations before or after. But it was something in the ballpark, because it was always better with those guys than when I'd just fuck a gorgeous dimwit or a hot investment banker with a wife at home."

He finally ventured to look for longer at his friend. Jay's gray-blue eyes were thankfully still not horrified or pitying. "But even if it was better with the guys I felt a connection with, it was never enough to make it worth staying. All the...strings attached were just more...complicated than it was worth. I liked being on my own. I was even more private back then than I am now. I liked being…untouchable." Sebastian cocked an eyebrow, but then looked down on the grass for the words. "I liked being an asshole, I suppose."

Jay shifted his body to face Sebastian a little more. He prodded wistfully, "But then you met Blaine."

"Then I met Blaine." Sebastian nodded slowly. "When I first saw him, I just wanted to sleep with him because he was so hot. And then we started talking and there was a personal connection immediately, which made me want him more, though I assumed it would just be like those few other guys I'd connected with before. Then he told me he wanted to be loyal to his boyfriend at the time. That only fueled me more - I told you I was an asshole."

Jay's lips curved into a very faint, very small smile.

"It made him a bigger challenge, on top of everything else. So I started texting him. And calling. And he let me, and we kept at it."

"And that's when you started falling for him," Jay said wisely, glancing sideways at Sebastian's thoughtful expression.

Sebastian was staring at the feet of _The Shades_. "It went on for months, but he wouldn't cheat, break up or even have phone sex. I got pissed off….and then I did some really stupid shit to take his annoying boyfriend down a notch...really stupid. But even after that Blaine forgave me..."

Jay's bleary eyes were sympathetic and wistful.

Sebastian heard the engine of a party rental truck start. He shook himself and looked back over at Jay. "I'm getting off track. The point is, by the time Blaine and I slept together...we were so...we…"

Jay met his eyes, looking stirred. "You were really close, you were in love," he finished for him. He looked up at the moon. "If I'm going to be honest with myself now, sex yesterday with Derek…I didn't feel connected to him the way I wanted to."

Sebastian nodded his head. "But you were once, right?"

Jay said glumly, "Yes. Is that your point?" His shoulders slumped and he looked down on the ground. "You're right. I shouldn't have slept with him until I was sure it would be that way again."

"No. I mean that's right, but…" Sebastian raked his hair again. "My point was…" He moved closer and put his hand gently on Jay's shoulder. "I'm just saying that now that I've had sex with Blaine...I can't imagine ever going back to just fucking some stranger. I know it would just be...hollow. And it would be worse for you, because...well, because you're you. You're a romantic, and you know what it's like to sleep with a guy who means something to you. Don't settle for less. You would hate it, no matter how hot the guy seems. It would make everything worse."

Jay lifted a tear stained face up and sighed.

Sebastian said quietly, "You deserve better, Baker. Don't do that to yourself."

Jay put his head down on his knees again, his tears dripping some more.

Sebastian's heart twisted a bit. He didn't know what else to day, so he just patted his friend's shoulder again and hoped Jay would stop crying soon.

…

Jay opened the door to his suite and Sebastian stepped inside with purpose, heading straight to the bedroom. "Okay, let's get you tucked into bed." He shoved past Jay's unpacked luggage to throw open the covers of his bed.

"Seb, you already wandered the campus for an hour with me - you don't have to tuck me in, too." Jay said guiltily as he followed Sebastian into the room. "Thank you for listening, you're a good friend. Now go home, you have a midterm tomorrow, don't you?"

Jay's phone chirped with a text message, and he dug it out of his pocket. As he read it, his face darkened before he threw the phone across the room at a velocity worthy of his position in NCAA baseball.

Sebastian furrowed his brow at the phone, which had been saved by its sturdy case and a ricochet off Jay's luggage. "The Fucker is still texting you?"

Jay sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands.

Sebastian picked up the phone and sat down next to Jay, placing a hand on his shoulder as he read the offending message:

_DEREK: Let me know if you change your mind about what you want. We could have a lot of fun whenever I come home if you just loosen up a little. Otherwise, just mail me my green jacket and let's just let things go. Sleeping with you again was hot, but it's not going to be worth the drama._

Sebastian began typing on Jay's phone as Jay fell backwards on the bed.

_JAY: Jay's too good for you. Don't contact him again, the only way he’d ever lay down with you again would be in a mass grave. You're lucky he's too nice to tell me where you live, though I’m quite sure you live soaking in a bag of pus. Consider yourself fortunate that I'm leaving you alone to go back to your pathetic life at your second rate school in your second rate city with your second rate dick._

"Don't write him back, Seb." Jay said wearily.

"Too late. I told him not to contact you again. And I'm blocking him and deleting him from your contacts," Sebastian said as he stood up, rapidly navigating Jay's phone before putting it on the bedside table. He reached down and patted Jay's arm. "There, you are done with The Fucker. Now, take off your shoes and get under the covers."

Jay didn't utter a word of protest as he pulled off his sneakers and crawled under the comforter.

Sebastian patted his shoulder. "Good night, buddy. I'll check in with you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Seb." Jay whispered, his face half buried.

After one more pat on Jay's arm, Sebastian turned out the light and left the room. But just as the bedroom door was about to click behind him, he heard a muffled noise. He opened the door again, frowning in anticipation of what he was pretty sure he was going to see.

Even the dim light from the living room was enough to confirm that Jay was not only crying, but shaking as he tried desperately to muffle his sobs into the pillow. It was a heartbreaking sound.

Sebastian walked quickly back in the room and pulled up the desk chair, reaching over to touch Jay's shoulder. He didn't say a word.

Jay's voice was choked from under the comforter. "Seb, I…"

"It's okay," Sebastian said softly, moving his hand to rub Jay's back. "Just get it out of your system. It's okay, it's going to be okay."

...

Sebastian closed the door to his own suite and leaned back against it. "Shit," he groaned, rolling his eyes as he threw his head back against the door.. "Tell me I won't fuck up and turn Blaine into THAT."

Rob had barely heard him as he worked his way through a practice problem set. "Huh?" From the corner of his eye he saw his roommate toss his messenger bag to the ground. "How is Jay?" He asked quietly, looking up to see Sebastian taking off his shoes.

"He cried himself to sleep. He's a mess. I barely recognized him." Sebastian ran his hands through his hair as he took a few steps away from the door. "He was watching 'The Notebook,' for chrissake."

Rob was closing his laptop and gathering his notes. "He'll be okay," he said in his calm way as he packed up his backpack.

"Yeah," Sebastian walked over and leaned on the doorframe of his bedroom, crossing his arms across his chest and looking wearily across the room at nothing. "But after something like that he'll never be the same." He glanced down at the watch Blaine had given him. "Blaine wasn't, after his first break-up. That must be why they're called that. It's not just a broken relationship, the people are broken. It's fucked up." _I can't do that to Blaine. He can't go through that again. We can't break._

Rob came to an abrupt pause at the troubled note in Sebastian's voice. He looked up with sympathetic blue eyes. "Yeah, but they work through it, and people come back."

Sebastian didn't answer as he went into his bedroom and closed the door. He wished it wasn't too late to call Blaine.

...

"Babe…" Sebastian's smile was gratified, fond and melancholy all at once. He put on his headset. "You at JFK?"

"Hi, sweetie…" Blaine's eyes crinkled up with his smile. "Yep. I just got through security."

Sebastian took a breath, trying to readjust to text-and-phone-and-skype life once again. "And how did the rest of the day go?"

"It was good," Blaine said, groping for the nicest part of his day. "I was able to see Artie for lunch, after all. He says hello."

"Oh...K." Sebastian was at a loss.

Blaine's brow furrowed. "He was making an effort, Seb. Be nice."

"I didn't say anything," Sebastian said in a mild defense. "I just said 'okay.' What do you want me to say? I've never exchanged four words with the guy, unless you count any Jackson-off lyrics we sang at each other."

Blaine rolled his eyes. ""You could say, 'Aww, that's nice, say hello back when you talk to him next.'"

"I'm not sure if I've ever said the word 'aww' in my life." Sebastian smirked. "you've got that covered for both of us."

"You're hopeless," Blaine shook his head, unable to repress a small chuckle.

"I know," Sebastian said impudently as he turned down a bend in the road. He glanced at his watch to see what time it was in Scotland and his expression softened. "But I should be behaving better, Killer...you're probably exhausted, eh? You hanging in there?"

"Yeah." Blaine's expression turned pensive as he turned to stare out the windows by the gate. "I just don't know, all three schools are all so…"

"Oh, nonononono." Sebastian shook his head as sped through a yellow light. "Not yet. Don't start…"

"Don't start what?" Blaine put his messenger bag down at his feet.

"Don't start angsting about this admissions decision yet. You have three days to think about it, I think you should try just letting it gel in your head. Don't stare at your pro-con lists all day and all night. And don't rehearse too much on your own, it will just have you thinking about it. Just relax into the decision: watch a good movie with Sammy and his girl, cook one of your complicated dishes, bake something, knit something, box, fence, play soccer with that Liam guy, go kick that Oliver guy's ass. Do everything but dwell in the details about it for a couple of days. THEN talk to your people, think out loud like I know you'll need to, then angst if you have to. Or with any luck, by then you won't need to angst."

Blaine chuckled. "How long have you been waiting to tell me about this regimen you cooked up?"

"Since you left me at the airport." Sebastian smirked. "It was a long security line."

The hazel eyes were soft. "Aww, thanks, baby. I just hope two days is enough time for it to gel." He let out a frustrated little sigh and stared out the window. "Why am I so indecisive?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Because you see the best in everyone and everything...and, as it turns out, every school. It's not a bad thing."

"It feels like a bad thing. But maybe your plan will help. I'll shut up about it until we talk on Wednesday."

Sebastian shook his head. "Nope, I thought about that too, and I don't think I should be the person you talk to about this. Or at least not the only person. And definitely not the first person…"

Blaine smiled softly. Sebastian was actually starting to sound a little nervous. Sebastian Smythe was never nervous. "Okay, I get it. But I want to talk to you about it at some point. You're really good at helping me make good decisions."

"I'm also really good at being a selfish bastard. Which means no matter how objective I try to be, let's face it, I'll probably end up biased towards UCLA."

Blaine fell a little more in love. "If this is some kind of reverse psychology, it's working."

Sebastian ignored him. "Don't talk to Tina or Artie or Nick, either."

"Okay, except I already talked a little to Artie about it. But he was trying to be neutral. And at least he doesn't go to NYADA."

Sebastian was plowing forward. "Sam would okay, but he doesn't really have much perspective on this issue…" He furrowed his brow as he mentally scanned Blaine's circle of friends.

"Sam's biased towards UCLA, he loves you and me together and he's been looking at art classes out there...Tina's been doing a full court press on him. Mary is rooting for you and me in California, so she's biased, too."

"I've always liked the sound of that girl. The Brits aren't going to be helpful anyway, they probably don't get how the universities work out here, let alone Broadway or Hollywood." Sebastian leaned his elbow on the car door and scratched his head. "Hmm...then who else? We know how Cooper feels...you need someone in the middle..." By association, his mind landed in the midsection of the US map. "Jeff?"

Blaine shook his head. "He's as wishy washy as me, and he talks too much. When I was deciding about leaving Dalton for McKinley he was no help."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Clearly, otherwise you would have stayed at Dalton." He ran down the roster of Blaine's closest Warbler friends. " How about Thad?"

"Thad's the same as Jeff, only worse. And both of them are hopeless romantics, they are going to push UCLA to get us closer."

Sebastian accorded their friends a quick note of estimation for their loyalty, but he pushed on. "How about David? Yeah, David would be good."

"Maybe David," Blaine nodded slowly. "But to be honest, I was always closer to Wes. How about Wes? I know he's right near New York, but I think he would really try to be fair. Though sometimes his silences can be unnerving in these kinds of conversations..."

Sebastian was only half listening. "I've got it. You should talk to your dad."

Blaine's eyebrows lifted. "You think? I don't know…"

"B, you're always talking about how you want to get closer to him. This is an opportunity, plus he's got good perspective on this. He's made decisions about college and graduate school, he's successful in his career and can look back on the impact those decisions made. He helped make my Google decision easier."

"That's because you're the son he wishes he had."

"That joke is getting old, you know that's not true."

"It's never been a joke."

Sebastian wished he could put his arm around Blaine. He tried to make his voice comforting. "Your dad does not think that, babe. Just call him. Maybe you'll have one of those bonding moments you want with him. And even if you don't, he'll probably have good perspective and you'll at least get something substantive out of it. Or if you hate his input, don't use it." Sebastian stretched his neck out as he added thoughtfully, "I bet he won't give you much advice, though. When I talked to him about Google v. the rest, he mostly asked questions."

Sebastian twisted his mouth to one side at a second thought. "Though I'm not his son, so he might approach it differently with you. But your problem with him has never been him giving you too much condescending, unsolicited advice, right? That's my esteemed, jackass father."

"No," Blaine admitted. "It's been a long time since I got his advice on something. Cooper is usually the one giving me the family's viewpoint, if they have one." He ran a hand through his hair. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk to my dad about it. I just hope he doesn't think I'm being weak and indecisive."

"He won't if you don't," Sebastian said gently. "B, it's really okay to be torn right now - these are all great schools. And remember, try not to obsess about it for a couple of days. Just get on your dad's calendar and Wes' if you want, and then try to let all the data you've been gathering float around in your head for a bit. I swear it will be more clear after you get some rest. Just try to let go of the details for a a little while, and let it all stew a bit in your head."

Blaine took a deep breath. "Okay, okay." His eyes wandered on the horizon. "Let's talk about something else. How was the midterm?"

"Fine," Sebastian let out a big yawn.

Blaine chuckled as he imagined his sweetheart, who always looked like a big kitten when he was really tired. "I take it you were up really late studying?"

"No," Sebastian answered wearily. "I was up late sitting next to Jay while he cried himself to sleep." He stretched his neck out. "I got a crick in my back from leaning over his bed after such a long flight."

Blaine's eyes widened. "Oh no, what happened to Jay?"

"He hung out with his ex over the weekend and they ended up sleeping together. The Douche said it shouldn't mean anything. He said he still doesn't want a long distance relationship and called Jay immature for thinking that their last six months of gooey "I miss you" phone calls were leading to getting back together."

"Oh my god. Poor Jay," Blaine's eyes were sympathetic.

"Yeah, he's a wreck." Memories of Jay's pain-stricken face came back to haunt Sebastian. "I wished you had been there, you would have known what to do better than I did."

"I'm sure you were very comforting," Blaine's heart felt a pang as he remembered Sebastian's soothing presence after the both of his breakups with Kurt. "But wasn't anyone else there for him?"

"Thomas was, but then he had to study for his midterm, so he and Rob texted me."

Blaine tried to ignore the knot forming in his stomach. "Oh."

"He was such a mess, B," Sebastian said grimly as he pulled into an office building parking lot. "Hey, I have to go, I just reached the Land of Lawyers Who Were Too Risk Averse to Work in Business."

"Okay," Blaine said sadly. "Talk to you tomorrow, two o'clock your time?"

"Yes, let's Skype, I can be home." Sebastian said briskly as he got out of the car, hauling his messenger bag out with him.

"I miss you."

Sebastian paused in the parking lot and lowered his voice. "I miss you too, Beautiful. Now do your best to sleep on the plane, remember to let all the school stuff just sit. You're going to be okay. What is it you always tell me? _We're_ going to be okay..."

"'Cause we're Seb and Blaine," Blaine smiled faintly.

"That's right, Killer. Text me when you land. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye."

...

Blaine came out of his bedroom and found Sam and Mary entangled on the couch, flipping channels on the TV.

Sam glanced up. "Hey. Howz Seb?"

"Fine," Blaine said in a monotone as he opened the refrigerator.

Sam and Mary looked at each other with questioning glances.

"And how are _you?_ " Mary asked gently.

Blaine poured himself some milk. "Fine."

Sam's brow furrowed. "That's your 'I'm not really fine but I don't really know why I'm feeling funky' fine. Wanna talk it out a little? Was Seb grouchy?"

Blaine came over and put his milk on the coffee table. "No."

Sam turned off the TV and stood up to stretch. "No you don't want to talk it out, or no Seb wasn't grouchy?"

Mary coaxed Blaine onto the couch next to her. He laid his head on her shoulder. "No, he wasn't grouchy. But yeah, I guess I'm not fine, though I SHOULD be fine. And I do know why I'm feeling funky, I'm just annoyed at myself for feeling funky."

"Funky about what?" Mary asked quietly, stroking his hair.

He lifted his head off of Mary's shoulder and slouched back on the couch. "Oh, Seb was just telling me that he was going to take Jay to go play baseball with this kid he's been tutoring. To cheer him up - Jay had his heart broken by his ex over the weekend."

Sam narrowed his eyes at him as he sat down on a nearby chair "You're not _jealous_ of that, are you?"

"No," Blaine said unconvincingly. "Though I don't totally understand what happened to their friend Thomas. Seb always made it sound like Jay and Thomas are close, like Rob and Seb are. They live in the same dorm, you'd think he'd be the one taking Jay out to cheer him up. Or Rob's girlfriend Karen, she lives in Jay's dorm, too."

Sam replied reasonably, "But if Seb's got access to a kid...Kids can really help, you know, put stuff in perspective."

Mary shrugged. "Kid or no kid, we're talking about Mr. Abercrombie, the one we know was chatting up Sebastian last quarter before he found out about Blaine." She lowered her face to look into Blaine's eyes sympathetically. "So he's even more available now? And Sebastian's taking good care of him? It's okay, love - anyone would feel a little jealous at that."

Blaine looked at her gratefully and squeezed her hand. He added regretfully, "I know it's stupid. I trust Sebastian, I do trust that he would never…" he trailed off, disturbed at even the hypothetical thought of Sebastian with another guy.

Sam nodded resolutely. "That's right, he would NEVER cheat on you."

"Yeah," Blaine nodded slowly but his lip protruded a bit. "I know I'm being a big baby, but I just don't get why he has to take Jay out TODAY. Seb has another midterm this week and they're asking him to do more hours at his internship...he needs to take care of himself, first."

Sam looked stern and opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again when Mary gave him a warning glance.

The hazel eyes looked distant. "He stayed with him until Jay cried himself to sleep the other night. He did that with me after I broke my engagement." Blaine looked in his lap and picked at his sweatpants. "I guess there's a dumb part of me that thought he only did stuff like that for me."

Sam finally spoke up again, this time more quietly. "No. If something bad happened to me and you or Mary or Tina weren't around, he'd do it for me; and he'd do it for Rob, and Santana, and Nick and probably most of the Warblers and his mom and other people he really cares about."

Blaine was looking in his lap again.

"Blaine, look at me." Sam drew his best friend's troubled eyes to him and said in a kind but firm voice, "Would you really not want Sebastian to not be Sebastian? If Rob ended up in the hospital yesterday, would you want Sebastian to study for his midterm like usual?"

Blaine looked back at him with growing comprehension. "No."

"No, you would want him to do something Sebastian-ish, like bring his books to the hospital to study when he wasn't yelling at doctors and nurses to make sure they were doin' right by Rob."

A smile tugged at Blaine's lips.

Sam continued, his own eyes twinkling. "And if Brittany broke Santana's heart somehow, would you want Sebastian not to get on the next flight to take care of her in whatever weird way those two take care of each other?"

"No," Blaine smiled softly again, looking at Sam with affection.

"No. The reasons why Sebastian is being there for this Jay guy are some of the same reasons why you love him. He doesn't let a lot of people get close to him, but for those people, he comes through for them. He takes care of them. But just because he might do some of the same things for Jay that he did for you, that doesn't mean he doesn't love you the most."

Blaine nodded slightly, feeling foolish.

Mary squeezed his arm. "Sammy's right, though I still don't blame you for wishing your guy's best friends didn't include someone quite that cute. But you'll get used to it, because the longer you're with him, the more you'll trust that Mr. Millionaire does love you the most."

Blaine nodded, taking a deep breath. "You're right - I'm just being insecure. I just wish I wasn't. That instagram thing last quarter just got me off on the wrong foot about Jay. I'm sure I'll feel better about him after I meet him face to face some day." He sat up straighter and looked at Sam with conviction. "Why wouldn't I like him? He keeps Seb company studying; he helped Seb with how to approach that boy he's tutoring; he sounds like the only one who can manage their crazy friend Thomas, who sounds like Liam on steroids; he's even had some good perspective on Seb's father." Blaine's mood was lifting. He concluded sincerely, "I'm glad Seb can be there for him, he's seems like a wonderful person."

"I'm sure he is," Mary said sincerely. "But that doesn't mean Sebastian is going to fall in love with him."

Blaine mood dropped right back down as his fear was vocalized. "Right."

...

Richard Anderson came downstairs to his study, not surprised to hear the phone ring exactly on the hour. He glanced at the caller ID as he sat down on the leather sofa. "Hello, son."

"Hi Dad," Blaine flinched at the high pitch of his own voice. He sat up straighter in bed.

His father's silence always felt like a vast ocean.

"So you're probably wondering why I wanted to schedule a call," Blaine said. He ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat. "I just wanted to share my thoughts with you about what school I think want to attend next year." He paused awkwardly. "And see what you think - if that's okay?"

Richard stood up and started to pace the room. "Yes, though your mother certainly knows more about musical theatre than I do."

Blaine swallowed as every reason Sebastian had given him on why his dad's input would be valuable seemed to fly out of his mind. "I just...wanted to get your take." Without any good segue, he just barrelled forward. "I'm leaning towards UCLA," he blurted out. He ran a hand through his hair and added quickly, "But not because Sebastian's in California. I really liked the culture of the school, the academic approach, the campus overall, the exposure I would get to other kinds of acting opportunities in Hollywood. And the scholarship, I really love the idea of paying for the rest of my college experience without having to rely on you and mom."

Richard had stopped in front of a photo of Cooper and Blaine on the wall from five or six years back, reflecting again on how different his two sons were. Cooper was constantly asking for "loans." "Blaine, I appreciate your desire to pay for college, but I promised you and Cooper many years ago that we would pay for whatever school you wanted to go to. That hasn't changed."

"I know, but after this expensive year with the wedding, and Scotland…"

"Your mother says this freshman year will probably be the most valuable year of college for you, no matter where you finish your schooling," Richard interjected as he strolled around the study some more, his gaze now directed at a photograph of his wife. "She says it has been worth the expense incurred."

Blaine's eyebrows raised and he felt a wave of love for his mother as he nodded slowly with understanding. He said thoughtfully, "She's probably right. But it's still been a lot money. So a scholarship certainly is a plus. But that wasn't the primary reason for UCLA."

Richard waited for more as Blaine nervously scanned his notes again.

"I think the biggest reason is that it feels like it would be good for me. It would stretch me a bit, give me me opportunities to broaden myself a bit. NYADA is very demanding of course, but it didn't take me long to eliminate it first - the culture is so formal and old-school, it feels very tough but in a very narrow way. Musical theatre students have a strict curriculum, we aren't allowed to take hardly any classes in other areas. And the courses are almost all practical, nothing on the context or history of Broadway, let alone the political science, psychology and sociology classes I always thought I would want to take in college."

Richard was looking again at the photo of Cooper and Blaine again, specifically taking in the innocent, wide-eyed beauty of his younger son.

Blaine rushed on to fill the void. "Tisch's curriculum was wonderful but it felt like my sweet spot - I would be growing and developing for sure, but in familiar areas. I would get to take NYU general education classes, but not as many as I would at UCLA. And the audition opportunities wouldn't be as wide ranging as they would be in LA. Plus there isn't really much of a campus, you go in and out of buildings in Manhattan but it doesn't _feel_ like a college campus. Not like the ones I liked the most when Cooper and mom took me on that college tour. I loved UCLA's campus, how much more flexible the curriculum is, the culture of the school. The students just feel more free and easy, even though they're just as ambitious."

Richard looked pensive as he sat down on the couch again and leaned forward on his knees. His youngest was too often still a mystery to him. "Blaine, these all sound like valid reasons. Why do you sound so tentative?"

Blaine's heart sank. He felt so transparent. He took a deep breath and leapt. "I wouldn't be in New York. When I found out about my vocal chord issue I told myself that I wasn't going to let it get in the way of my dreams on Broadway. I _think_ my gut is telling me that I would like UCLA the most, but my I'm worried my gut is actually just chicken and is somehow giving up on musical theatre by not choosing Tisch."

Richard didn't respond, sensing Blaine was not finished.

"On the other hand, while UCLA is the less safe choice when it comes to Broadway, I hope I'm not secretly picking UCLA for a guy. I'm worried my gut is picking California because I would get to see Sebastian so much more often. But I also don't want to pick New York in some sort of knee-jerk move in the other direction. I wouldn't want to give up everything I love about UCLA just so it doesn't look like I followed a guy to California." Blaine instantly regretted saying anything about Sebastian to his father.

"I see," was all Richard said, processing internally.

"What do you think?" Blaine asked quietly. After a pause he added with a little trepidation, "I'm sorry I'm being indecisive."

Richard sat back and put his feet up on the ottoman. "In this situation, I wouldn't be surprised if you were feeling indecisive - many people would be. You have to choose between three high caliber universities for the next three years of your life. But you don't sound indecisive. You sound apprehensive. It sounds as if you've made a decision, you would just like reassurance that it sounds like a reasonable one."

Blaine jumped in, "Or I'd like to know if you have any questions about my thought process. Sebastian said you asked him a lot of questions when you were helping him decide on Google." He wanted to kick himself for bringing up Sebastian again. He added, "NYADA is ranked number 1 in the country for musical theatre, after all..." Then he bit his lip, determined not to babble, instead awaiting his father's response.

"So was Harvard," his father remarked thoughtfully. "Not for musical theatre of course, but as an MBA program for general management and strategy."

Blaine looked intrigued. "Did you almost go to Harvard?" he asked.

Hi father nodded. "Yes.I was doing investment banking. It was, as you put it, my sweet spot. It came naturally to me. But I knew that if I wanted to run an enterprise, I would need to learn how to communicate better, lead teams through complicated situations - manage the less measurable. So I picked the best school for marketing and organizational behavior that also was producing strong general managers." His eyes flickered up when he heard his wife's footsteps in the hall. "And, I wanted to be closer to your grandmother while her health was in decline. We wanted Cooper to spend some time with your grandmother before she passed away."

Blaine looked sober, imagining a younger version of his parents juggling such a decision. He asked tentatively, "Do you ever have any regrets about not going to Harvard?"

"Sometimes," Richard replied honestly. "It's a calling card, the school you went to, in certain circles. And there are unfortunate judgments made about what each school's alumni are like. Also, the Harvard network is unparalleled and I would be lying if I didn't say I envied it at times. But I know I made the right choice. I had my reasons."

Blaine looked encouraged. "In the end, you're a CEO of a Fortune 500 company and you seem to really like it. And…" He didn't know what to say about his father's relationship with his grandmother. "And Cooper talks about Grandmother Anderson with a lot of love."

"He does," Richard Anderson blinked his eyes for a moment longer than usual as he recalled his mother's unbridled happiness with the unstoppable force of exuberance that was his first born.

Blaine's brow furrowed again. "But you knew you wanted to be a CEO ever since you were, in high school, right? I _think_ I want Broadway and that a broader curriculum and taking non-musical acting jobs opportunities in California will round me out for it. But what if I'm wrong? Maybe a broader curriculum and Hollywood just sound good in concept? What if.." _What if I'm making them out to be something fantastic just so I can justify moving to California for Bas?_

"Then you'll narrow your course choices and audition only for musical theatre." Richard stood up and paced the study again. "Or transfer schools if you must. Son, if I had gone to Harvard, I probably would have had an excellent experience. I also would have hated parts of it, from what I have heard from some of my colleagues. I also look back and realize that I didn't even _need_ to get an MBA at all." He looked out the window for a moment before walking slowly across the room again. "Yet, there are experiences and people I met during my program that I value more than anything else in my career."

"Like Uncle Ousman, right?" Blaine smiled at the thought of his father's good-humored best friend from business school.

"Yes." Richard paused in front of the doorjamb and saw his wife rummaging in the hall closet. "This is all to say that your decision might seem to be enormous now, but it's probably not. With three high quality choices, I would imagine what will be critical is not so much _which_ school you choose, but rather what you DO when you arrive. Those schools will provide three different experiences, with pro and con to each. You need to just decide how strongly you believe in your own reasons for UCLA or any other school. My guess is you can't go very wrong with any of them. " His glance met a loving one from his wife as she shut the hall closet. "We're…" His wife's eyes widened slightly and he corrected himself. " _I_ am proud that you earned admittance into three such strong programs. I am even more proud that you did not let a bump in your personal life take you down." He paused to decide how to phrase it, "I am sure you will find your way and do well wherever you go."

Blaine's eyes welled up but he managed to keep his voice steady. "Thanks, Dad."

...

Five minutes later, Richard entered the kitchen, where his wife was fixing a snack. He put his hands on her waist from behind. "You are an alarmingly unskilled eavesdropper."

"You were wonderful with our son," she replied, turning her head to kiss him on the cheek.

"I know I always say this, but he is so much like you," he said thoughtfully, looking in the direction of the study again.

She smiled. "I hope that's a good thing."

He turned back to her with a serious face. "That depends on if you still think buying a second home in California is a good thing," he replied, raising his eyebrows.

She turned around to hug and kiss him sweetly.

…

_BLAINE: I think you're at the office right now, so no need to text back. I wanted to let you know I just hung up with my dad. You were so right, it was really a good idea to talk to him. It definitely moved us forward in our relationship. Thank you so much for suggesting that - you are wonderful. He didn't really get into the details of the schools with me, but he gave me good perspective to help me approach this decision the right way. So I'm going to sleep on it, then be my dramatic self and make my final choice on Decision Day tomorrow! I promise you'll be the first to know when it's all official! xoxo_

_SEB: Good to hear about the call. Enjoy the kickass dreams you're going to have about the next campus you're going to conquer_

_BLAINE: Will do! Have a good rest of your day, baby._

_SEB: Goodnight, B. Miss you._

_BLAINE: Miss you too, sweetie. Bye xoxo_

…

10:17PM, 6:17AM in Edinburgh, the Movado from Blaine read. Sebastian pulled his sleeve down for the 7th or 8th time that evening. He wondered for the 7th or 8th time if Blaine was awake yet, failing spectacularly once again at his vow to not obsess. Blaine had texted that he would be the first to know about the decision - did that mean an email, text, call, or a Skype? If it meant their regular 2PM Skype, Sebastian was in for the longest 15 hours and 43 minutes of his life.

Maybe he could just call to confirm what Blaine meant. Or maybe he could not act like a girl and get a grip. In spite of the breezy conclusion of his text this afternoon, this was Blaine. Anything could happen - he could be panicking at the last minute, and a call from Sebastian would feel like pressure. Blaine would call if he needed him, he always did.

Sebastian chewed his lower lip and stared at the RC hoodie lying on his bed. _We're going to be fine - 'cause we're Seb and Blaine._ That sounded much more idiotic in his head than when Blaine whispered it in his ear at airports and on intimate phone calls.

His clock ticked loudly on his bedside table. Sebastian mindlessly opened an email he had gotten the other night from Sam, attaching a sketch of Blaine in a superhero unitard with Sebastian's arm around him from behind, and a cartoon of Sebastian and Blaine kissing on the beach in Florida.

_To: Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson_

_From: Sam Evans_

_Subject: drumroll, please..._

_Dudes! My midterm project is done, and part of it is a present to you guys! We had to draw the same couple in different styles and moods. I used some pictures I bet you didn't even know I snapped of you during spring break and took a few liberties… :D_

[x](http://zephyrianboom.tumblr.com) [x](http://lenmccarristarr.deviantart.com/art/Seblaine-At-The-Beach-306201443) 

Hope you like 'em, and that my professor does, too.

Sebastian stared at them for a few seconds before snapping his laptop shut. _Stop drooling about being on the beach with Blaine when the odds are 2:1 he should be in New York. With Hummel._ He stood up quickly, knocking his Dalton coffee mug with his arm and his laptop with his hip, catching the mug before it fell off the desk. He strode into the living room and dropped it by the small sink with a clatter.

Realizing he had forgotten shoes, he walked back into his bedroom as he called distractedly, "I'm done studying. I'm going to that baseball party after all. Roger and Thomas will get distracted, I should check in on Jay." Sebastian fished his favorite Balenciaga sneakers out of his closet, but as he stood up again he realized if he wore those, he'd have to change his shirt.

While he was weighing his vanity against his laziness Rob appeared in the doorway with a few papers, saying, "Don't go yet. I need help finishing the physics homework."

Sebastian furrowed his brow at him. "How are you not done yet? You always plow through that stuff twice as fast as I do."

Rob shrugged and replied calmly, "Not this time. I'm not sure if I did it right, walk me through it, will you?"

Sebastian gestured at his desk before starting to pull his shirt off over his head. "It's over there, but come on, Robbie - you only get muddled when I try to explain to you how I approach physics problems. You know our brains only work in parallel for so long before you get all Sheldon Cooper on me. I showed my work, just look at it, you can figure it out."

Rob came over and sat down at Sebastian's desk while his roommate grabbed a shirt from the closet. "Okay, you don't have to explain it to me, but don't leave until I look all the way through it, in case I have questions, okay? I'm tired, I'll probably be asleep by the time you get back from the party."

"Fine, though I still don't understand how you could find it so difficult, if I didn't." Sebastian walked into the living room as he buttoned his shirt, sitting down on his armchair with resignation. He couldn't leave, after the countless other times Rob had helped him with engineering homework. "Too much making out with Karen is softening your brain, man," he grumbled as he pulled his phone out of his pocket to text Jay.

That's when he heard the familiar sound of his Skype ring in the bedroom to go with the same ring on his phone. His eyes narrowed as he jumped up and headed back to the bedroom. "Did you open my laptop?" he asked with a puzzled look to Rob.

When he reached the desk he found Rob had answered the Skype and was talking to Blaine's beautiful, yawning face in his darkened bedroom. "Hi, Seb!" Blaine waved with a sleepy smile. "I was just telling Rob about Sam's latest idea for our backpacking trip…"

The rest of his statement sounded like garbled noise as Sebastian stared at the pretty hazel eyes, wondering if he had a decision on a school. It was a bit like a Charlie Brown cartoon... Blaine might be talking about Swiss lakes to visit, but all he could hear was _wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah._

He pushed Rob out of his chair. "What are you doing, use your own laptop," he groused.

"I needed a calculator and it was right there…" Rob said in his matter-of-fact way as he stood up behind his roommate. He leaned down, pushing Sebastian sideways slightly as he poked his face into the camera, "Talk to you later, B. Say hi to Sammy."

"Bye, Rob." Blaine said warmly.

Sebastian closed the door, locking it for good measure before picking up the laptop to carry it to his bed. He settled against his pillows with the computer in his lap, hoping he didn't look as impatient as he felt.

"Good evening, Sunshine." Blaine smiled softly at him.

"Good morning." A small, distracted smile spread on Sebastian's face as he studied the screen discreetly. Blaine didn't _look_ like he was panicking. _DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL ME?!_

"I decided I'd rather see your face instead of go to the gym this morning," Blaine said affectionately. "It's such a beautiful face."

The sweet words gave Sebastian pause. He relaxed a little and stopped to appreciate the flawlessness before him. "Such a silver tongue, at such an early hour, too. I almost forgot how much I like you so early in the morning: the bedhead, your scratchy voice, you against a headboard..."

"My voice is not..," Blaine croaked and cleared his throat. "Okay, maybe it's a little scratchy. But how can you have already forgotten what I'm like this early? I woke up with you in New York four days ago."

Sebastian cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "I woke up that morning with your delicious ass rubbing me hard. I wasn't terribly focused on your hair or your voice, Sexy," Sebastian chuckled even as he felt a zing in his groin at the memory.

Blaine blushed lightly and laughed softly. "Mmm..." He sat up a little straighter and appraised his lover. "Well, you're looking pretty sexy yourself tonight. Though aren't you a little dressed up for bedtime?"

Sebastian looked down at his Marc Jacobs shirt and shrugged. "I was about to go out..."

They were interrupted by a loud knock and Rob's deep voice through Sebastian's door. "Seb, open up!"

"Why?!" Sebastian called. He added with a slight scowl, "Come back later, Robbie. What's wrong with you, you know better than to interrupt when I'm talking to Blaine."

"Karen just got here, she has a present for you."

"Leave it outside the door," Sebastian called back with irritation. Remembering Karen, he added in a slightly less gruff tone, "Hey, Kewpie! Call off your bloodhound. I'll come out in awhile."

"She really wants you to come get it now!" Rob rattled the door knob. "Just open up for a second!"

"Rob, STOP IT! I said I'll get it later!"

"It's okay, I want to see the present..." Blaine said curiously.

Rob pounded on the door again. "Seb, just come and take it real quick!"

Sebastian shook his head and said to Blaine with annoyance, "It's not a big deal. She calls everything a present…smoothies, brownies, a new CW shirtless actor gifset..."

Rob's pounding grew louder. "Seb, come on - take two seconds..."

Sebastian turned his head towards the door to holler, "Robert, ENOUGH! You are pushing on my last nerve!"

Karen's voice could be heard the the door as a second pair of hands started knocking, "Seb, please open up! I really want you to see this!"

Sebastian glared at the door and he opened his mouth to shout again but Blaine jumped in to plead, "Just get it, baby. Maybe it's something extra good this time, they're just excited to give you something - it's sweet. I'll wait!"

"Oh fine, if only to shut them UP." Sebastian got up in a huff, dumping the laptop on the bed and crossing the room in two strides. He yanked open the door to find Karen grinning at him and Rob looking patiently over her shoulder. "WHAT?" He shot them an evil look. "Have you two no shame? I could have been in the middle of phone sex, you know."

Karen thrust a shirt box wrapped in gold paper into his hands. She was uncharacteristically quiet and smiling oddly.

[x](http://fuckyeahlaurenlopez.tumblr.com)

Sebastian looked suspiciously between her brown eyes to Rob's blue ones. "What are you two clowns up to?"

Rob's eyes were their usual sea of blue calm. "Nothing, she just wanted you to have it. Now you do. Bye." He reached to close the door.

"You two are _weird_ tonight," Sebastian said with irritation as Rob closed the door completely. He returned to the bed shaking his head, tossing the gift on the nightstand as he crashed down against the headboard and pulled the laptop back on his lap.

Blaine eyed Sebastian's perturbed expression and gave him a small, sweet smile and bright eyes clearly designed to cheer him up. "You're not going to open it?"

Sebastian shook his head, pouting a bit and looking like a puppy. "No, it's probably just some retro rock band t-shirt. She's obsessed with getting me to dress more indie hipster. I'll model it for her later." He leaned back on his pillow and tried to relax again. "Right now, I want to talk to you..."

"And I want to talk to you..." Blaine said before pouting back at him, trumping him with the puppy dog eyes. "I want to talk to you while you open your present, please!" he teased. "Come on Seb, you know I don't like gifts laying around unopened…"

Sebastian finally broke into a small, fond chuckle as he reached over for the gift. "Ah, the return of Christmas!Blaine. Okay, okay, little one." He pulled at the ribbon but it was tied tightly. "Keep talking, I need to get scissors." He put the laptop on the bed and walked off camera to his desk drawer.

"Okay," Blaine said obligingly. "Now, where were we before we were interrupted? Oh right, you were telling me that you were going out. Where were you going?" He continued blithely without waiting for an answer. "You have such an active social life at Stanford. Let's see, it's Thursday, so it can't be the Wednesday Night Skate..."

Sebastian sat down on the bed again, placing the laptop on a pillow between his bent legs before working to at open the gift, bending his head as he snipped at the knot of curling ribbon. "Just some baseball party Roger invited us to..."

Blaine interjected cheerfully, "Oh wait, while we're on your social calendar, I do need to know...what are you doing the weekend of September 13th?"

Sebastian was ripping gift wrap off and opening the shirt box. "I don't know…why?"

Blaine lowered his long lashes and smiled coyly up at him. "Well, that's the end of the week you were going to help me drive my car to school. I had been thinking that you would go back to Stanford that weekend so you'd have a week to get settled before school starts..." He added casually, "But then I realized that it's also the closing weekend of the season for the Hollywood Bowl and it looks like they have fireworks every year on closing weekend. Remember we talked about going to see a fireworks show there? Also, if I go out for cheerleading and make the team, I'd have to be at UNLV that Friday and I thought you might like to be in the stands…"

Sebastian was still looking down, slowly removing tissue paper from the box. "Well, I don't know B," he said seriously, pulling blue cotton out of the paper. "I was telling Lisa that we should totally rehaul MC recruiting strategy. I may have to be back early for that…"

Blaine chuckled and grinned at the webcam. "You ass, look at me."

Sebastian's head came up slowly, smirking as his sparkling green eyes met Blaine's excited gaze. He held up the gift, a pair of expensive looking blue boxer briefs with "UCLA" embroidered on the waistband. "Nice."

"Nice." Blaine said, grinning from ear to ear. "Karen has excellent taste."

Sebastian finally unleashed a dazzling, high wattage smile but his eyes were still a bit disbelieving. "You wouldn't dare mess with me about this, would you Anderson?" It was killing him that he couldn't reach through the screen and pick Blaine up to spin him around.

"Never," Blaine grinned back at him, collapsing back against his pillow in relief. "Whew, I thought Karen was never going to come!"

"I can't believe you told them before you told me. Rob's gonna find just the right moment to remind me of that." But Sebastian couldn't wipe the smile off his face if he tried. "So really, we're going to be in the same time zone for three whole years?"

"Yep," Blaine's smile wasn't going anywhere, either. "I'll get to see every home lacrosse game and Mixed Company competition."

Sebastian waggled his eyebrows and grinned wickedly. "And I'll get to have my way with you in your UCLA cheerleading uniform in a dark corner of the Rose Bowl..."

Blaine blushed and chuckled at him, "You are shameless."

Sebastian let out a sigh of enormous relief before smirking and slowly laying back on his pillow, thoughtfully fingering the blue cotton that lay on his lap. He tucked one long arm behind his head. "I have offended your delicate sensibilities? Please. After tonight?"

Blaine's eyes narrowed at him, his smile now slightly perplexed.

Sebastian continued before Blaine could say anything. "Our ninth date." He winked before looking suddenly sly. He leaned forward to run a long finger on the touchpad of his laptop. "Hold on, I'm messaging you a link with what we did tonight." When the hyperlink had been sent, he teased in an aside to the webcam, "Before you get too excited, you should know (1) it is not a porn video; and (2) I did not make this cheesey video, Rob found some magical video editing app and insisted on demonstrating it for me last night with whatever he could find on my laptop. But I think you'll like it anyway, since you like sap."

Blaine wore an amused smile as he clicked on the link he received, his expression turning sentimental as he heard the opening bars to a favorite Annie Lennox song of Sebastian's. The video was a collage of some of Sebastian's photos of Blaine, the Intercontinental Mark Hopkins Hotel, the Golden Gate Bridge, the town of Tiburon, and The Ritz in Orlando; a photo Rob had snapped of Sebastian and Blaine at the Potter Ball; a few of Sam's drawings of Blaine and Sebastian; and unfamiliar footage of the San Francisco Bay at twilight and by night, illuminated by bridge and city lights, obviously taken from a bay cruise.

 _[Watch_ _[Rob's little video for Seblaine here](http://youtu.be/qscYgRLCmKI), called "all run dry," on _ _our_ _youtube playlist - keyword search "i'm gonna miss you too seblaine"]_

_Sweetheart_

_The sun has set_

_All red and primitive above our heads_

_Blood stained on an ageless sky_

_Wipe your tears and let the salt stains dry_

_Let them all run dry_

_All run dry..._

_Sweetheart_

_Take me to bed_

_That's where all our prayers are said_

_Whispered silent in the night_

_That's how all our dreams take flight_

_Let them all go by_

_All go by..._

"I had been looking at videos on the internet for the right bay cruise to take you on," Sebastian said seriously. "But when I heard you would be leaving San Francisco for school I thought I had better just charter a private one tonight." He winked, "You know, to make sure you didn't forget about the Bay when you go down to flashy Los Angeles."

Blaine spoke up, easily taking up the story. "You said as much at dinner, which I thought was ridiculous. As if I could ever forget about you," he said meaningfully, with a loving look. He added tenderly, "Even though we've only been on nine dates now, I'm sure I've never felt like this about anyone else." The hazel eyes were frank, and almost challenged Sebastian to look away.

The green eyes didn't stray, in fact they looked touched as Blaine continued. "You've made me feel heard and important and cared for in a way no one else ever has. You've continued to delight me with your wit, your sense of fun, your courage, your kindness, your thoughtfulness."

Sebastian crossed his arms as he looked at him tenderly, somewhat taken aback once again in the face of praise no one but Blaine ever really had for him.

Blaine concluded earnestly, "I knew staying in California would be the best thing for me personally, because of you. So I was so very happy that when I thought about my choices, UCLA felt like the right decision on a lot of other levels, too. I didn't know what I was going to do otherwise. The idea of being across the country from you was so hard to think about." His eyes filled with tears and he hastened to dab at them.

Sebastian's eyes got a little wet, too, but he instinctively came to Blaine's rescue. "I was gutted at the idea myself," he said briskly, not wanting to relive the angst of the last several weeks. "So we had plenty to celebrate. We had a spectacular dinner that I had catered on the yacht…" He glanced off camera to conjure up a appropriate meal. "Scallops and steak and a bottle of Krug Clos d'Ambonnay. But better than dinner was looking out on that water at that view with you in my arms, with the city and the bridges lit up like a promise. We played not just Annie Lennox, but…" He closed his eyes to select music for Blaine. "Some of your Billy Joel and Indigo Girls, Paul Simon, Colbie, Sheeran, Mraz, and of course le grande dame Rachel Fuller." He reached over to his phone and turned on "the Power of Two" by the Indigo Girls and they ignored the terrible sound quality as they smiled softly at each other through the first chorus.

[Hear it [here](https://play.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine/playlist/6DJjqLFTANQAqt7TVT5nZn) on spotify or our youtube playlist keyword search I'm gonna miss you too seblaine]:

 _Now the parking lot is empty_  
_Everyone's gone someplace_  
_I pick you up and in the trunk I've packed_  
_A cooler and a two day suitcase_

 _Cause there's a place we like to drive_  
_Way out in the country_  
_Five miles out of the city limit we're singing and your_  
_Hand's upon my knee_

 _So we're okay_  
_We're fine_  
_Baby I'm here to stop your crying_  
_Chase all the ghosts from your head_  
_I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed_  
_Smarter than the tricks played on your heart_  
_We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart_  
_Adding up the total of a love that's true_  
_Multiply life by the Power Of Two_

Blaine had wiped his tears and was looking fondly at him again, speaking up with amusement. "You looked a little seasick at first, just like on the ferry to Alcatraz, but luckily the dramamine worked again."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Well of course it did." He smiled softly. "And it helped to have a beautiful anchor to hold on to." He looked thoughtful, knowing how true it was, how Blaine seemed to hold him steadier than anything else in his life. His eyes wandered down to Blaine's full lips. "Making out half the time didn't hurt, either." He smirked at the webcam, remembering all the kissing they had done at the back of Disney World rides.

Blaine chuckled, but he didn't blush or protest the idea. "It was beautiful, and I told myself that nothing could keep me from seeing you at least twice a month after I got to school," he said resolutely. "Nothing."

Sebastian was staring into Blaine's beautiful face and feeling a bit glazed over. He knew he was tired from the day, but the whole call could also just be a hazy dream. "I'd like to see anyone try to stop me from seeing you _every_ weekend," he said in a low voice, falling out of the story for a moment.

Blaine cocked his head to one side and said affectionately, "That sounds wonderful." He added conclusively, "And what a wonderful ninth date."

Sebastian's glance was on Blaine's tender mouth again, then skimmed up the beautiful bone structure, across the soft, curly bedhead, and down to the dark lashed eyes again. His own long lashes lowered and his heavy lidded glance matched the seductive voice floating through Blaine's speakers. "Oh that's not all that happened on our ninth date."

The hazel eyes slowly dawned with warming realization. "Oh, really?"

"Of course not. I knew you were a romantic, so I hadn't been pushing the physical, just to be on the safe side. But tonight I felt compelled to do something to ensure you wouldn't stray with all those hot Hollywood actors. It didn't take long for me to feel, perhaps unjustifiably, possessive about you, babe." Sebastian smirked at him, running a finger across his soft lower lip.

"And what exactly did you feel compelled to do?" Blaine said softly, his eyes mesmerized by the shiny wetness of Sebastian's mouth.

"Well," Sebastian's sultry tone gave Blaine a chill. "When I walked you to your doorstep at the end of our date, I started by not holding back anymore when I kissed you goodnight." His eyes were somehow soft and intense at the same time. "Do you want to know how I kissed you, B?"

Blaine's lips turned up in a sexy smile. "Yes." He pulled a pillow from behind his head and the Macbook off his lap to prop the computer up between his legs. He leaned back again and whispered, "Yes, tell me how you kissed me, Seb."

Sebastian felt his cock twitch and he slipped one slender hand between two buttons of his shirt. "Softly at first, then harder." He licked his lips and closed his eyes, his other hand came to cradle the back of his neck. "With one hand in your hair, sliding down to the soft skin of your neck; the other hand finally stopped being polite and went for the perfection that is your ass. It felt exactly like it looks - the perfect balance of flesh and muscle and softness." His hand dropped from his chest to palm the front of his jeans, riveting Blaine completely. His sexy voice lowered further. "I massaged it to push your half-hard cock into me, then I nipped at your lower lip and tugged your lips open…"

"And then your tongue pushed in and I pulled you by your neck to get closer," Blaine breathed, his eyes closing, too.

"The wind was cold but you tasted sweet and hot and I'm licking everywhere in your mouth," Sebastian said in a hushed tone. "I just wanted to devour you and it felt like we were lit up and on fire and it was really, really much sexier than a kiss has any right to be. Even as I pulled back to kiss your soft lips I couldn't stop myself from pushing back in right away, thrusting harder because I just wanted to be deeper in you." He palmed his jeans with more purpose and his eyes opened halfway to look with satisfaction at his unraveling lover.

Blaine went from feeling the rush of blood in his groin to feeling rock hard. "I was sucking at your tongue, 'cause I can't get enough of you," he whispered as his hand slid under the waistband of his pajamas.

"I asked if I could come inside and hoped desperately that you'd say yes."

"Of course I said yes," Blaine's eyes opened halfway and he smiled slyly, "I've been wanting to see what's under your beautiful clothes since we met."

"So while you are putting the keys in the door, I pressed myself up behind you." Sebastian breathed. "I bit into that delicious skin on the right side of your neck and pushed my hard cock up against that ass and my eyes rolled back in my head, it felt SO good. I couldn't wait to be buried in you, your ass is so fucking luscious, it felt obscene even while you were fully clothed..."

Blaine took a deep breath and shuddered a bit, closing his eyes again. "We opened the door and closed it quickly again, and did you push me up against the door?" His hand started to inch southwards.

"Of course, Killer. I loved crowding you up against that door and grinding you up against it. I wanted to keep you pressed up against it and start kissing my way down your beautiful body. First I nibbled your earlobe, because I love that little soft piece of you and how when I tickle it with my tongue you wriggle. Then I licked my way down your jawline and got waylaid because I couldn't resist kissing your tender mouth while I started to undress you."

"God I want to kiss you right now," Blaine said with a desperate little moan as he took his cock in his hand.

"You were wearing so many goddamn clothes," Sebastian chuckled, closing his eyes. "But it was hot to peel them off to get to my treasure. First I pulled off your jacket and let it tumble to the floor. Then I stripped off the cardigan, all while I'm still kissing the life out of you and sliding my cock along yours."

Blaine's eyes fluttered open to see Sebastian's hand now stroking rhythmically over the outline of his cock in his jeans.

"Then I untied the bow tie, but I left it hanging there for a bit because that's a sexy look on you. I pulled your tidy Brooks Brothers oxford out of of your pants and got my hands on the skin on your back and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, you felt so good...your skin was so soft and heated and smooth and the muscles on your back were so sexy..."

"You relaxed in our kiss and I pushed more aggressively into your mouth because your hands on my skin felt soooo good," Blaine groaned, swiping the tip of his cock. "I pulled up your shirt too and got my hands on you, and oh god Seb the first time I saw your abs and then the first time I got to touch you there...god it was so hot..."

Sebastian had a hand under his shirt, imagining Blaine's strong fingers on him. "After I got my hands on so much skin, the bow tie and button down had to be ripped off and you were left in your wife beater and fuck you look sexy in those. But I only admired you in it for two seconds before I wanted that off, too." Sebastian's tone changed to coaxing one. "B, take off your shirt, let me see you, Beautiful."

Blaine's eyes opened and a cheeky smile spread across his face. "Your wish is my command, master." He surprised Sebastian by pulling his hoody and t-shirt off in one movement to reveal, emblazoned on his chest in red, the words "CALIFORNIA OR BUST."

Sebastian burst out laughing, throwing his head backward. "You're gonna be the death of me, Killer."

Blaine sat forward grinning, hands on his hips. "I wasn't sure if Karen was going to be able to find something with UCLA on it around there! This was my back-up plan."

"is that marker?" Sebastian chuckled.

"Mary's lipstick," Blaine said proudly.

"It's hot," Sebastian smirked. "The guys have been wanting to go to this crazy outdoor art festival thing in Nevada where clothing is optional and body painting is encouraged - you will fit in seamlessly out here in the Wild West, babe."

"Your turn, Gorgeous." Blaine smirked, leaning back on his pillows.

Sebastian started to slowly unbutton his shirt. Very, very, slowly. "You're pushy tonight," he said with a sexy smile. "Take it easy, Killer. I was still kissing you and I had one hand on your cock and it's leaking through your bright red pants, so I only had one hand to unbutton..." his deft hands pulled apart the fabric, "my...shirt. You can see just a bit of skin..." Blaine stared at the tempting bit of smoothness, "...that's peeking out." Sebastian smirked dragged a long finger along his collarbone and between the top of his toned pectorals. "It's sweet torture, as I slowly..." He unbuttoned another button, "reveal.." and another button, "myself…" and another button, "to you. I thought you would want to undress me yourself but what I'm doing to your dick with my hand has your hands busy just gripping my hair and my ass."

"Ugh," Blaine grunted. "You talk all the time about my ass but I love yours too, it's so..." Blaine trailed off as his hand stroked his cock and he closed his eyes thinking about Sebastian's lean, firm ass.

"Fuck me, you look good enough to eat," Sebastian said. "Watching you touch yourself is hot." He shrugged off his shirt completely. "Open your eyes, babe."

Blaine opened his eyes to the sight of Sebastian's soft skinned, well muscled upper body and his mouth dropped slowly open. His hand sped up on his cock and he groaned. "God Seb you are so beautiful, what I wouldn't do to kiss you all over, map all your beauty spots with my tongue..."

"That's exactly what you did, babe." Sebastian replied almost hoarsely, his eyes darkened with lust. "You dragged me to your bedroom and straddled me on your bed and kissed all over my chest while you rubbed your hard cock up and down my thigh." He panted a little, rubbing his hard-on more. "I thought I was going to come just from that."

Blaine was pretty sure he was getting too close to coming himself, so he pulled his hand out of his pants, rubbing his thigh for the time being, content to admire his lover's beautiful body.

Sebastian's hand roamed on Blaine's behalf, fingering his own nipple and smoothing down his abs. "All I could do was fist the comforter while you teased me, kissing down my abs and getting to the top of my jeans and stopping. It was killing me not to be able to reach your ass, but your mouth felt so hot and wet and fantastic on me."

"And your skin tasted so good, you smell so good - your cologne and sweat and just _you_ ," Blaine breathed, licking his lips and palming himself over his pajama bottoms.

"You were kissing my abs, tweaking my nipples and licking in my navel and making me crazy. I was grinding up at against your chest and finally I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to have you." Sebastian said urgently. "I pulled you up and you did a push up while I pulled down those tight red pants and your underwear in one motion and was very, VERY impressed. I always thought you were the most beautiful man I had ever met, but completely naked you are fucking magnificent - with a cock to gag for." Sebastian's hand was back on his cock. "Show me all of your gorgeous body, Killer."

Blaine blushed as he removed his pajama bottoms and watched Sebastian reach down to adjust the laptop. Then he hungrily took in the hot sight of Sebastian slowly unzipping and stripping off his jeans and boxer briefs. "God, I want to touch you."

"You did," Sebastian breathed, settling back on his pillows with his big, glistening cock in hand. "You reached out and grabbed my cock and made me moan. Like this." He stroked himself slowly and Blaine pulled on his cock as well and they both made dirty groaning noises, eyes locking with steady up and down movements, pre-come making the glide a bit easier. Sebastian spat on his hand for more lubrication and it looked kind of filthy but it was also kind of hot, so Blaine did it too.

Their breathing grew labored. "Blaine...fuck Blaine you look so hot..."

"Seb..."

"You rode on my cock, babe." Sebastian's breath was ragged.

The stroking sped up, slick, hot, pinpricks of pleasure instense in their cocks, building in their balls and spreading everywhere, building...

"Seb..."

"I want my hands so deep in your ass it could bruise..."

Blaine's breath was getting erratic.

"Fuck...Blaine..."

"Seb..." Blaine panted.

Sebastian's heavy breathing was intoxicating. "I'm close babe, come with me..."

The sound of skin and wet friction and panting and moaning made them heady. "Oh god, Seb, Seb, Seb..."

"Fuck, Blaine...uhhhh fuck...come with me...babe..."

With a mutual groan they were coming all over their torsos, trying to string out the intense pleasure as much as they could, panting as they had to stroke more and more tentatively because they were so oversensitive.

…

There was a long sated pause before either of them spoke.

Blaine looked into his laptop with a half-drunken smile. "Are you still going to go to that party?"

Sebastian blinked at him hazily. "Huh? What party?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that bit of smutty fun, and the rest of the chapter! Please don't forget to drop a line and say hi, I am an extrovert sitting at computer by myself and struggling to get motivated! I have moments where I wonder how important this little hobby is in the grand scheme...please keep reminding me why so I can keep putting a smile on your face and feels in your heart. Also be sure to thank our beta committee extraordinaire: Dori, Thomas, Rose, Cristina, Avani, Teresa, and Harvey! Thanks for reading!


	36. Kenny, Victor, Baron & How Reality Bites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to meet Sebastian's tutoring pupil and his dad's friend at the law firm where Seb has been working; Blaine has to manage sad versions of both of the top dogs in his life (Seb and Sam).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to take so long with this chapter! Between Thanksgiving and a bad 10 day cold, I was not doin' too good. This one is relatively short but at least it's something to tide you guys over. It mainly sets up the next chapter, but there's some nice Seblaine fluff in there for you. Thanks to Beta readers Dori, Cristina and Avani this time! Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long to write. I think you'll enjoy the little bit of fluff in this one, and find it interesting to get to know Sebastian's father a little more.

"Sebastian, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Sebastian looked up to see Heather, the tutoring center manager, looking nervously down at him. She cocked her head to one side towards the nearby darkened hallway.

Sebastian nodded slightly, standing up with one more glance to make sure Kenny's head was bowed over his homework.

Heather led him the few steps to the hallway.

"I just got a call from my sister and she's in a jam - her babysitter has to leave for some family emergency and my sister can't be back from the city for at least 45 minutes. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind staying with Kenny until his mom comes to pick him up? She's always late, but usually not too late. I hate to ask this, but my sister made the babysitter's emergency sounds really serious, someone is in the hospital."

Sebastian looked back in the large tutoring room and raised his eyebrows. Apparently while he and Kenny had been engrossed in word problems, the room had emptied. He glanced at Blaine's watch and saw that it was already 15 minutes past the center's closing time. He nodded. "Yeah, okay, go ahead."

After Heather had given hasty closing instructions and departed, Sebastian reviewed Kenny's homework and walked him through the problems he had not gotten correct. They were working on an optional assignment when Sebastian's phone rang. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw that it was 45 minutes past closing time. He tapped Kenny's shoulder. "I have to take this - just do your best and I'll look at it in a minute." He stepped into the dark hall again.

"Hey, Heather - Kenny's mom still isn't here."

"Hi, I know. I'm so sorry about all this. I just heard from her and now it's Kenny's grandma who is going to be picking him up. But she doesn't drive so it's going to be a half hour before she arrives by bus. I know this is so much to ask, but if you could just wait another 15 minutes, I'll put the kids in the car and we'll be there as soon as we can."

Sebastian's brow furrowed. "Don't do that, I'll just bring him home. I don't know why we didn't think to do that earlier."

Heather replied quickly, "That's nice of you to offer...But no, I can't release him to anyone his parents' haven't put on the list of approved people who can pick him up."

"Heather, you've already left me, a lowly student volunteer, alone with a kid; and left me with the keys to the castle. What's one more broken rule tonight? I'm thinking Kenny should be home and getting to bed soon, it's 9:15."

Heather hesitated. "Well, let me text his mom and see if she'll release him to you by text, then at least I can have that documentation. Then I'll text you back." She paused again for moment to think out loud. "Yes, that could work. Thank goodness he's old enough now not to need a carseat. Let's see..."

"Heather, can you just text her?" Sebastian interrupted impatiently. "Tell her I'll make sure he wears his seatbelt and brushes his teeth."

The young woman interjected, "Oh, please make sure you put him in the backseat of your car, not the front seat."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes."

Just a few minutes after they hung up, Sebastian received permission and the address by text. He turned to Kenny, who was still working a problem.

"Hey, your mom can't pick you up today, so I'm taking you home."

Kenny looked up briefly and nodded, nonplussed - as if this was a common occurrence. He returned to his problem and mumbled. "Okay. She must still be with Larry. Just lemme finish this part."

Sebastian looked at him oddly. His phone chimed with another text from Heather with another bit of instruction about the tutoring center's alarm system. He looked up and looked over Kenny's work. "Good, you got that right. Okay, let's get going, we can try to finish the rest on Thursday."

The boy nodded calmly. "Okay." As they packed his pencil, eraser, pencil box, and papers away, Kenny commented in a matter-of-fact tone, "Sometimes time gets away from her."

Sebastian was both disturbed and amused at the adult statement coming from the young boy's mouth. His brow furrowed as he wondered if Blaine would be worried at all by all of this, but he only said, as he finished zipping the backpack, "We all do, sometimes."

"She does, a lot." Kenny remarked. "My grandma calls her Flaky Florence, but her name isn't even Florence!" " Kenny giggled. Then his eye landed on Sebastian's black Saint Laurent backpack. He reached over the touch the expensive canvas. "Can we switch backpacks walking to the car?"

Sebastian looked at him curiously and shrugged. He slid it off his shoulder and extended it to the small boy. "Yeah. Just don't drop it, my laptop's in there and that backpack isn't very padded." As he picked up Kenny's backpack he noticed a Superman logo on it that he hadn't noticed before. It reminded him of his conversation with Blaine on the swings over Christmas break. He said in a casually teasing tone, "I think I got the better end of the bargain here." He slung the small backpack on his shoulder and pulled the center's key from his pocket. "'Cause I'm guessing there's a cape in here."

"No," Kenny said placidly as he watched Sebastian lock up. "It didn't come with anything, not even a keychain. My friend Jason's Ironman backpack came with a keychain."

Sebastian regarded the boy fondly as they walked across the parking lot. "Too bad there's no cape, I might have been able to fly us home faster than we could get there in my car."

Kenny seemed to finally catch on that it was a kind of game. His eyes sparkled up at his tutor. "Nah, you wouldn't have been able to...it would have been too hard, you'd have to carry me and both our backpacks."

Sebastian stuck his nose in the air. "Of course I would have been able to, with the cape I would have superstrength!"

"But I might drop your backpack by accident. You said that it wouldn't be padded enough for your laptop."

Sebastian noted once again how logical and sharp Kenny was. He smirked and patted Kenny's head. "Good point."

They walked the rest of the way to Sebastian's car in what had become their default as a pair, an easy silence. Their drive home was peppered with Kenny's questions about the various knobs and buttons on the BMW's dash, along with the boy's exclamations of delight over the sunroof and the rearview camera.

Kenny's home proved to be in a rather rundown apartment building in a rather rundown neighborhood of the notoriously unsafe city of East Palo Alto, one of the former murder capitals of the country. As they walked up the street from where they parked the car, Sebastian felt a few pairs of watchful eyes from porches. The last time he'd felt so white, he'd been in Tokyo.

When they reached the front door Sebastian started to knock, but Kenny flung the screendoor open in his tutor's face and burst through the door. He plunked down on the floor by the door to untie his sneakers.

"Grandma, I'm home!" he hollered. "And I'm hungry!"

Sebastian hesitated on the threshold and put Kenny's backpack down just inside the door. A quick glance revealed cheaply framed posters, IKEA furniture and a modestly sized flat screen TV. A stocky, short-haired elderly black woman in a cheap polo shirt and sweats emerged from a swinging door. The smell of roast chicken came wafting out with her.

Her gaze went first to Kenny as she hissed, "Shush precious boy! Other children are tryin' to go to sleep! Just like you should be!"

"Oh Grandma, you know the only little kids around here are clear over on the east side of the building!"

Sebastian's eyes widened a bit with apprehension but his company manners kicked in. He raised a hand politely. "Hello, I'm Sebastian Smythe, Kenny's tutor. It's late, so I'll let you..."

Sebastian's designer clothing and perfectly styled hair were regarded with subtly pursed lips. Nonetheless, Kenny's grandmother wiped her hand on her sweats and came over to extend a hand. "Hello, I'm Helena Washing, Kenny's grandma. Thank you for bringing him home, he'll get to bed much quicker now."

Sebastian shook his her hand and was about to say goodbye again when Kenny interrupted them with an imploring look, "Wanna see my room?"

Sebastian glanced up at Helena and back at Kenny. "I don't think I should, it's pretty late…maybe next..."

"PLEEEASE!" Kenny jumped up and gave Helena bright eyes. "Grandma let him come in for just a minute, he drove me home so you wouldn't have to take the bus and everything!"

Sebastian looked away, so he wouldn't chuckle at his guilt-tripping pupil.

Helena looked a bit stern for a second, but relented after a moment. "Fine, fine. Why don't you take him in to help you pick out school clothes for tomorrow. I'll run your bath. But when it's ready, he's got to go."

"Okay!" Kenny yanked Sebastian across the room.

Kenny's room was covered in music posters and Oakland A's paraphernalia. Sebastian pointed at some plastic stacked drawers near the door. "You heard your grandma, grab some clothes."

"You can pick somethin out for me," Kenny said carelessly, before launching into a tour guide's explanation of each poster on his wall. As Sebastian knelt to pick out some clothes, he heard the front door open.

"I'm home!" a voice called in the living room.

"Mama!" Kenny shot out the door. Sebastian stayed in the bedroom doorway and watched as the mother and son hugged.

Sebastian appreciated that Kenny's mother was beautiful, with soft raven hair, a graceful figure, and delicate features. It was too bad she was dressed in tawdry four inch heels and a dress made of some unsightly synthetic fiber that hugged every curve.

Helena gestured at Sebastian. "Angelina, Kenny's tutor is still here. Kenny wanted to show him his room, so they are picking out school clothes for tomorrow while his bath is runnin'. Come talk with me in the kitchen so they can do that."

Angelina looked up and came over when she saw Sebastian, saying with a bright smile, "Oh! Then you're Sebastian. Thank you SO much for bringing Kenny home. You really saved me…I'm Angelina Lillianfield." They shook hands briefly. Sebastian didn't know what to make of her yet.

Helena cut in sharply. "Angie, come here - leave them alone, I'm sure the young man has other things he needs to be doing. We've put him out enough."

Though he had been jolted with the reminder that he had Calculus homework to finish, Sebastian spoke up politely. "You haven't put me out…"

Kenny cut in eagerly, "Then can you stay and read me a bedtime story?"

Sebastian found his heart warmed a bit at the request, but he also thought about his homework. Helena cut in again to save him. "No, Kenneth Paul. I said your tutor's leavin' at bathtime and I meant it. Stop your negotiatin.'"

"Grandmahhhh…" Kenny whined.

Sebastian distracted Kenny with a beckoning hand. "Maybe next time, Shortstop. But before I go you need to help me decide, I don't know if the black jeans or the blue jeans look better with the shirt I picked out…"

Kenny followed Sebastian into the room again, where he promptly continued the item-by-item explanation of every item on his bookcase, wall, desk and shelves. Sebastian sat down next to the drawers again. Unfortunately, the swinging door to the kitchen did not muffle the voices coming from within:

"You're lucky that tutor could drive him home. You are disgraceful, leavin' that child there."

"I know, I know - Larry was just being so...LARRY. I couldn't help…"

"You CAN help yourself, child. You have a SON who needs you, and you're out late every night."

"I'm not out clubbing…" Angelina said testily. "Larry…"

Helena interrupted. "I don't want to hear any more about Larry. I don't like the way that man treats you, and then thinking he can make it up to you with flowers and fancy food."

"Can you come? I'm going to audition for first chair," Kenny asked, extending a creased flyer to Sebastian.

Sebastian took it and read it, though the tight knot that had formed in his stomach was distracting. The flyer announced the Palo Alto Children's Orchestra concert on the first weekend in June. "I wish I could, but I'm going to be out of town."

Kenny's brown eyes grew disappointed and his lower lip pushed forward slightly.

Sebastian looked disturbed as he added lamely, "I've been training for months to do a triathlon in Napa, and we were planning to be there the whole weekend…"

"Oh, okay." Kenny nodded slightly but his big brown eyes had started to resemble Blaine's puppy dog eyes.

Sebastian took a breath and looked back at the flyer. "You know what, I think I can make it happen. I can just drive separate from the rest of the guys and just go late."

Kenny smiled with shy delight. "Oh cool! I can't wait to show you to my friend James - he doesn't believe that you're taller than Mr. Hahn."

"Who's Mr. Hahn?"

"Our P.E. teacher, he's awesome."

Sebastian nodded and curved his lips in a small smile at the boy, though if Kenny had looked more closely he would have seen his tutor's eyes looked disturbed as he wondered if Kenny thought "Larry" was awesome, too.

...

 _To: Bill Smythe_  
_From: Victor Connelly_  
_Date: May 9, 2014  
_ _Subject: The apple doesn't fall far_

_Billy Boy,_

_This week one of the paralegals has been out sick and all the law students were tied up, so one of our junior attorneys asked your boy to take a stab at a briefing today. She showed it to me before she gave it back to Sebastian. She had marked up half of it of course, but it was still better than some of the law students can do. Impressive for a college freshman. Chip off the old you-know-what._

_It's been way too long since we caught up, pal. I'll ask Angela to get with Bridget and wedge me into your calendar, Prosecutor. In the meantime, give Sally our love._

_V_

_..._

_To: Victor Connelly_  
_From: Bill Smythe_  
_Date: May 9, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: The apple doesn't fall far_

_Hey stranger,_

_Appreciate the report, though I hope you didn't praise him too much. He's always been sharp, but once he got past that awkward age and developed athletic and musical talent on top of the brains, his ego started becoming a problem. Doesn't help that he got Adrienne's looks, too. I meant it when I said no special treatment - it will be good for him to learn humility as the smallest fry in your firm._

_Did your attorney mention if he's shown any interest in the work? I'm guessing you don't know, from where you sit. Did I tell you he's going to Google for a summer internship? You know they are going to dazzle him with their perks and Google Kool Aid. Hopefully you all will make a stronger impression. It's so annoying that I have to ask this of you to get through to him. He doesn't listen to me about any of this, he hasn't listened to me about anything since he got double digits in his age._

_I can see you now, giving me those questioning eyes because I probably sound like Daddy Dearest to you. So yes, a check-in call is beyond necessary - you have no idea. Give Robyn our best as well._

_B_

_..._

_To: Bill Smythe_  
_From: Victor Connelly_  
_Date: May 9, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: The apple doesn't fall far_

_Hah, if ego was a problem then I guess I was right about the apple not falling far…_

_Seriously, from what I'm hearing he's actually been quiet, and gets his work done fast and well. No one around here tolerates ego trips, especially from interns. If he wasn't being humble, I would have heard about it. I did tell my team there was to be no special treatment._

_Mia didn't say anything about how interested he seems in the work, but I'll see if I can find out before our call._

_I'm sure he's going to be fine, whether he does law or not. He's just figuring it all out, like we were in college. I'll give you the full briefing on our call._

_V_

_P.S. Just think, it could be worse. You could have had a girl to worry about._

_..._

_To: Victor Connelly_  
_From: Bill Smythe_  
_Date: May 9, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: The apple doesn't fall far_

_Your optimistic zen attitude is still baffling. Believe me, Sebastian has been just as much worry as a girl would have been, and I'm not saying that because he's gay. Maybe he couldn't get pregnant, but after the kind of trouble he got into in Paris and at that gay club in West Lima, I wouldn't have been surprised if his dick had fallen off from some god awful STD. If I'm near a scotch on our call I'll tell you some stories._

_B_

_..._

_To: Bill Smythe_  
_From: Victor Connelly_  
_Date: May 9, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: The apple doesn't fall far_

_Hah, you can still make me laugh after all these years. But none of your boy's stories can be worse than that time you posed as an exotic dancer at the bachelorette party of the Dalton Headmaster's niece._

_But any offspring of yours must be smart enough to land on his feet eventually, if he hasn't already. He's at Stanford, after all...I know you bleed crimson but he couldn't be in a better place if he's interested in tech. And you said he's dating Willy Anderson's nephew, right? That's a good sign. Yes, I know Willy is a nutjob, but his brother always seemed like a good guy. Regardless, Sebastian's probably not so wild anymore if he's settled down with a boyfriend._

_I'm looking forward to hearing these yarns. I also want some good behind-the-scenes stories on your juiciest cases, Prosecutor. We may be decades older and have to do it by Skype from our offices, but if you get a bottle of scotch to join us, it will be just like being back at Crimson._

_V_

_..._

_To: Victor Connelly_  
_From: Bill Smythe_  
_Date: May 9, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: The apple doesn't fall far_

_Don't get me started on Willy Anderson. With Sebastian, it's anybody's guess on what he's up to - he never tells me anything. For all I know, the Anderson kid could be a Satan worshipper._

_I've got to go, unfortunately Sally's Madrigal choir friends are here. Talk soon._

_..._

_To: Bill Smythe_  
_From: Victor Connelly_  
_Date: May 9, 2014  
_ _Subject: Re: The apple doesn't fall far_

_Good night, Boss. Hang in there, it's going to be okay._

...

Sebastian heard footsteps coming and looked up to see Victor Connelly walk into the large workspace and look towards the back offices. "Hey Sebastian, is Audrey still around anywhere?"

"No, she's gone for the day. Can I help you with anything?" Sebastian subtly straightened his posture and tuned his voice to be smooth and professional.

Victor wanted to tease him for being so formal, but he held back. "No, I'll talk to her tomorrow. I just wanted to talk to her about changing temp agencies if we can't find a receptionist soon. Everyday it's like a different episode of Murphy Brown out there."

Noticing that the office was empty except for Sebastian, Victor paused to lean on a cubicle wall a comfortable distance from Sebastian's workstation. His blue eyes looked thoughtful.

"Hey, don't stay too late," he said in a serious but kind voice. "Your studies should come first. If you can't finish anything, you can always leave it for Julia or one of the others."

Sebastian answered quickly, "Oh, I finished everything. I was just doing some homework here until the kid I'm tutoring is available. Audrey said it was okay. It's quieter than trying to study at the tutoring center or a coffee shop."

"Oh sure, sure." Victor nodded approvingly. He started to leave, but stopped in the doorway to turn back and remark, "That's great you're volunteering."

Sebastian looked up a bit warily from his book and said frankly, "I need it on my applications for graduate schools." He added, hoping Victor would assume he was talking about law school. "It was my dad's idea."

Victor leaned on the doorjamb and smiled softly. He looked out the window behind Sebastian as he mused, "I love the image of your dad studying graduate school admissions criteria out of a thick Princeton Review book in between managing an office of 900 attorneys for the state of Illinois."

His expression grew fond. "He always did know how to game the university system. I remember our senior year at Dalton, when he got into six top schools and got scholarships at almost all of them, even though he never really felt like he had a choice about Harvard. But he applied just to piss off your grandfather - pissing off all our friends was just a bonus.  They were all so burned about it - he was taking up Dalton spots at all those Ivy Leagues. And he was such a bastard about it too, lording it over the rest of us." Victor let out a soft chuckle.

Sebastian's face was unreadable. He never knew his dad had felt forced to go to Harvard. His green eyes flitted around the room as he nodded slowly and gave Victor a small, polite smile. "Sounds like dad."

Victor smiled again as he replied in a matter-of-fact tone, "Yep. Well, I'll see you, Sebastian. I'm on my way out, gonna finish my work at home today. I had a fancy meeting today, I can't wait to get out of this noose."  He pulled at the knot of his tie and quirked his eyebrow humorously.

Sebastian studied Victor's fading yellow hair and blue eyes and wondered if Rob would look something like his father's friend in 20 years. His expression softened a bit as he said courteously, "I bet. See ya, Victor." He watched with slightly narrowed eyes as the ranking firm partner walked down the hall towards his office.

_..._

Sebastian carried a box into the back corner of the firm's large file room, sighing internally as he opened a drawer to begin the degrading task of filing.

He was about to put his headphones in to listen to "Not Alone" when he heard footsteps and laughter as a few people entered the file room. Sebastian wished he could sneak out of a back door - he hated people seeing him do menial work. But of course there was never a back door any time he needed one. If there had been one in the home of the hottest and youngest Westerville city councilman, it would have saved the councilman's wife a good deal of pain and anguish.

Sebastian's brow furrowed at the memory just as he heard his father's friend's voice. "Look, I loved going to Stanford, but...and I am going to sound like an old geezer," Victor imitated the high pitched whiny tone of a stereotypical octogenarian, "BACK IN MY DAY…where I grew up in the sticks, we could get away with much better stunts than stealing an axe-head back and forth."

They reached the aisle Sebastian was in. Victor gave him a smile in greeting.

Sebastian raised his head with a courteous smile. "Hey, Victor." He nodded at the two law students. "Guillermo. Joanie."

The law students greeted in him in high spirits. Victor said as he walked past Sebastian to open a nearby drawer, "These two were just telling me some more little known facts in the history of the Stanford-Berkeley Axe."

Sebastian nodded with a look of polite interest and went back to his filing.

"You see?" Victor said as he pulled out his file, "Sebastian is not very impressed by all that business either, even though he goes to Stanford, too. That's because he comes from the League of Extraordinary Fools that I come from, where even the high school Dalton - St. Michaels rivalry had the big city media out to cover game week."

"What do they do that's so impressive?" Joanie asked, putting away her own files and pulling out another.

Victor opened another drawer. "It usually involves the huge statues on our front lawns. While I was there, it started off innocuous enough - my freshman year they put a clown nose on the Dalton lion the night before the big rugby game, the next year we got a diaper on St. Michael's bull. But my junior year they had the nerve to paint the Dalton lion with St. Michael's colors. So my senior year, St. Michael's hired security guards to watch over their bull statue."

Guillermo had pulled his files and was standing up as he asked, "Did anything happen?"

"We hired a helicopter and dumped manure from the sky all over the bull." Victor said a small chuckle.

"No way! Really?!" Joanie and Guillermo laughed, and even Sebastian couldn't repress a smile, even though he had heard the story many times before.

As the two law students and Victor moved past Sebastian again on their way out, Victor stopped to pat Sebastian on the back. "Guess who was in the helicopter, directing the drop?"

Joanie, Guillermo and Sebastian gave him questioning looks.

"Sebastian's dad."

Sebastian looked at him with disbelief. His father had never told him that. "Seriously?"

"I can't believe he never told you," Victor chuckled again. "He chased me all over campus trying to tackle me while he was still wearing his black turtleneck reeking of horse-shit."

_..._

"...like our Rizzo. She's technically very strong, but there's something missing emotionally lately."

Sebastian said dryly, "Tell her to stupidly break up with the only person who was a good lay AND put up with all her crap. It worked for San."

"Babe…" Blaine chided, wrinkling his nose with distaste at his grumpy looking sweetheart on the Skype app. "Don't say that. And I hope you don't talk like that about Brittany to her directly."

Sebastian shrugged, "What? It's true." He studied his lover as Blaine slid down to a horizontal position on his pillow. He looked particularly sweet that way, with his face closer to the camera, lush eyelashes fluttering.

As Blaine's beautiful face looked patiently at him, Sebastian exhaled and his face softened. "No, I'm not that harsh about it with her directly, she's too sensitive." His eyes darted away before looking back at Blaine guiltily. He added regrettably, "Sorry...my leaf flipped back over. It does that every now and again when I'm not looking." The green eyes turned stormy as he pinched the bridge of his own nose and said with a grumble, "Sometimes I think I'm hardwired to be an asshole, B - I don't know why you bother with me."

Blaine leaned up on an elbow and looked at him with tender concern. "I bother with you because you're my favorite person on the planet. But where's my Sunshine? You tired? Or blue about something?"

Sebastian shrugged slightly again. "I'm okay...I don't know... I guess yeah I'm tired. Triathlon training is a bear lately...Thomas is acting like a drill sargeant and it's starting to be more annoying than fun. And I was up until two o'clock trying to finish my reading for that bitch Gomez."

Blaine looked concerned at the last statement. Sebastian had always respected and genuinely liked Professor Gomez in the past, no matter how much work she piled on. "Bas, is there anything else going on? You seem irked or something."

Sebastian saw the slight alarm in the warm hazel eyes and took pause. As he stared downwards at the grain of the wood on his desk, it struck him that he'd been in a shitty mood all day, hell, maybe since last night...or maybe since last week. He slowly dragged his eyes to look at Blaine again. Of course Blaine would notice his mood before he did. And instead of calling him a brat, of course Blaine just looked like he wanted to help. He listlessly wondered once again what he had done to deserve this angel-person on the screen before him.

Suddenly Sebastian just wanted to climb through the screen and under the covers and bury himself under Blaine's warmth, his scent, his everything. Instead, he could only look away from the camera to keep his mind from fixating on what he couldn't have. "I guess I _am_ in funk, but I don't know exactly why…" His eyes looked faraway as he tried to put his finger on where his dark mood could be coming from.

Blaine waited anxiously, his face full of trouble.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow. "I took Kenny home again last night, maybe that's it. I've been hanging out at the center with him 'til closing to make sure his mom comes to pick him up before 9. If his mom isn't going to make it, I don't like him having to wait for his grandmother to take the bus." He added with a disturbed expression, "I offered to just take him home every time but they don't want to put me out."

He let out a deep breath and looked at Blaine with a perplexed expression. "Maybe driving around in East Palo Alto is depressing. It's ridiculous that a place _that_ economically depressed shares a border with Palo Alto, one of the richest small cities in the country. There's something really fucked up about that."

Blaine sat up in bed to say in a sympathetic voice, "Yeah. I can imagine it can't be easy to see Kenny growing up in that environment." He leaned toward the camera with an earnest expresstion. "But you know what? Kids that age don't always really notice that much about material things. Sam was telling me that his brother and sister weren't nearly as irked by their family's homeless situation as he was. What was more important for them was that they had Sam, and each other, loving parents, and that year Quinn, Rachel and Finn came around a lot to spend time with Stevie and Stacy." Tactfully, Blaine chose to leave Kurt out of the account.

The curly head drew still closer to the IPad's webcam. Blaine wished so much he could put his arms around Sebastian. "All things considered, you have to remember Kenny has a lot going for him. He has his mother; you said his father is in the picture a little bit at least; he has that loving grandmother, his language arts tutor, Jay practicing baseball with him regularly now... And…" he slid down again on the pillow. "And most importantly," he lowered his voice to an intimate whisper, "he has you."

Sebastian felt an ache in his chest. "Stop it, you're making me miss you and your flattery too much." He rolled his eyes in an attempt to get his mind off his pained heart. "It's not like I'm not conceited enough already, B." He moved closer to the camera, propping his hands flat on his desk and resting his chin on them. "Ugh, can't you just let that Oliver kid be Danny Zuko and come home to America already? You got into UCLA, so we've gotten what we wanted out of the RC."

Blaine smiled softly at him. "My favorite person on the planet told me that I was not to 'concede a goddamned inch' to Oliver."

"Tell that person that they are an idiot because I want you here with me."

"I would never tell him he is an idiot, because he is brilliant. Handsome, too." Blaine snuggled under his covers and murmured into the Ipad speaker. "And the world's best lover. And kisser. And hugger."

Sebastian's head tipped over until his cheek was resting on his hand. "You're seriously killing me, babe."

"Killing you softly with my words?" Blaine smiled softly at him.

Sebastian smirked against his hand. "That's better. Horrible seventies song lyrics - I'm missing you less."

"I wouldn't want you to die from heartache...let me get my guitar," Blaine replied with a teasing smile, though he didn't stir from his pillow. He sang softly, "Strumming your pain with my fingers…"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Okay, I've officially stopped pining for you. You can quit it now."

"Singing your life with my words…" Blaine continued, somehow singing both quietly and melodramatically, with a crooked grin.

"You're now reaching me-hanging-up-on-you territory," Sebastian's eyes crinkled and a smile tugged on his lips at his sleepy, clowning sweetheart.

"Killing you softly with my song..."

"I could break up with you if this continues," Sebastian smirked again.

"Killing you softly with my song..."

Sebastian's smile was fond on his tired face. "You're the best thing in my life, Blaine Anderson. But I'm really hanging up now, I have to get to class."

"Good night, Seb."

"Good night, Angel."

…

"AHHHH!" Blaine yelped and squirmed as Liam walked up from behind in the pub and goosed him.

Liam grinned at him wickedly. "Those Grease rehearsals wearin' you out, Blainers? You usually jump a little higher than that. Sorry I'm late." He scanned the room. "Why is Sam hurling darts with such a violent lack of skill?"

Blaine threw a sympathetic glance at his best friend across the room. "He's frustrated about Mary."

"Why?"

Blaine sighed. "Because the school year's almost over and she's being too sensible about saying goodbye to Sam."

"Ah, I see," Liam nodded as Sam came over from the dartboard, wearing dark expression.

"Need more beer," Sam said, putting his hands on the bar and putting his forehead down on it.

Blaine pushed over one of a half dozen pints lined up on the bar.

Liam remarked with an amused look, "You should drink something harder than that, scotch or vodka is much more efficient if you just want to get rat arsed. And you won't have to go for a piss every few minutes."

Sam sat down on the stool next to Blaine, ignoring Liam in favor of putting his elbows on the bar and his head in his hands. He declared dramatically, "How do I keep getting myself into these situations?! When I got into this, we were going to keep it casual, not-exclusive, no strings...but then..."

"You fell in love." Blaine said with a worried look as he rubbed Sam's back. "How could you not? Mary's wonderful, you guys are wonderful together. Ugh, I've been dreading this all year for you guys."

Liam ordered a drink for himself. "You know I think you two are all kinds of disgusting-cute, but really, what did you think was going to happen, mate? You should just enjoy the time you have left together."

"You sound like Mary, so PRACTICAL," Sam said dejectedly, pushing his cheek up with his hand until his face was unrecognizable. "And she says she doesn't want me to stay here for her, she says I should be closer to Stacy and Stevie."'

Blaine asked tentatively, "Did you talk to her about what we talked about, about maybe just trying to make it work, visiting each other?"

Liam furrowed his brow at Blaine. "Mary doesn't have deep pockets like your Daddy Warbucks who hands out intercontinental airline tickets like they're indie band fliers." He turned to Sam. "I think Mary's right on this, Sammy. Besides Blaine and Mr. Moneyballs, I've never seen a long distance relationship that didn't suck almost the whole time and then end sadly."

Blaine swallowed and didn't say anything, thinking about his call with Sebastian and how much long distance relationships really did suck sometimes.

Sam chugged more of his beer. "I wish she would just TRY. If she REALLY loved me, she would at least TRY."

Blaine patted him on the back. "She does really love you, Sam. Maybe if you just talk to her again and tell her how you feel…"

Liam shook his head. "Blaine, I hate to say it, but you're being naive. Mary and Sam might love each other, but contrary to the Beatles song, sometimes Love ISN'T all you need. If she's not ready, she's not ready."

Sam stopped chugging his beer while he and Blaine shared a rueful look.

Blaine looked a little bitter and took a sip of his hard cider. "I guess he's right, Sam. I hate to say it, but he has a point. If you aren't in the same place, you can't force her there. It didn't work with me and Kurt. And on some level, I was probably trying to start dating Sebastian before either of us were ready last fall. Thank god he had the sense to convince me to come here and not to go to that little theatre program in San Francisco."

Sam looked slightly hopeful. "But then you guys started dating long distance a couple of months later. Maybe Mary will change her mind in a few months."

"Maybe," Blaine said sympathetically, rubbing Sam's back.

Liam didn't comment.

Sam put forearms down on the bar and put his head down on them. "But what if she meets another guy in a few months?"

Blaine didn't have anything to say to that. He looked at Liam, who shrugged.

Sam's muffled voice spoke up again. "I liked you better when you were more of a romantic."

...

_ROB: Look who still remembers Sebastian! Baron started at the foot of Seb's bed late last night, after Seb had already crashed out. Looks like he migrated, Seb and his pillow must have smelled good. :D I sat next to them for a whole hour waiting for Seb to wake up so I could take this picture, but it was totally worth it._

_BLAINE: Bravo, my friend! That is GOLD! It is so cute I might just have to make this my homescreen. But you do know that Sebastian will kill you if you post it online anywhere, right? Like actually hurt you, physically._

_ROB: Of course. You, Karen and Jay are the only people I trust this with. So please SHOW this, but DON'T SEND it to Sam - I don't trust him not to post it._

_BLAINE: Your instincts are right on that. :D So what happened after you took this?_

_ROB: I tried to take another one, but it's not worth sending to you because it's just a blur of Seb trying to shove Baron away from him and lunge for me at the same time, plus the whirl of fur that was Baron leaping up in excitement with him :D_

_BLAINE: LOL! Next time get your sister to do video with your mom's phone or something!_

_ROB: Next time you should come and we'll make a Vine_

_BLAINE: Definitely! I can't wait until me and Sam are Californians and can hang out much more!_

_BLAINE: So what are you guys up today? After Seb wakes up, that is. I'm guessing he went back to sleep.  
_

_ROB: Yes - you guys know each other so well it's kinda spooky. No plans except studying and going to go to the Memorial Day parade on Monday because my niece is in it. And probably drive out to the beach - go for a run and chill out there.  
_

_BLAINE: Bring a book, you know Seb will fall asleep there, he seems so tired these days.  
_

_ROB: Yeah, will bring an umbrella too, so he doesn't turn into Sebastian-the-crab like on his rental car hell day in FL.  
_

_BLAINE: He will also kill you if you even mention Sebastian from the Little Mermaid._

_ROB: Yeah, I learned that the hard way the first month we lived together. It set our friendship back like 5 weeks._

_BLAINE: We've all had those lessons. :P_

_BLAINE: Do you have a few more minutes?_

_ROB: Sure, what's up? Do you want to talk?_

Rob's phone rang and he strode up the stairs of his parents' house, two steps at a time, en route to his childhood bedroom. "Hey."

"Hey," Blaine said with some relief, pacing the street in front an Edinburgh pub. "I just was thinking, if you had a few minutes, maybe we could check in about Sebastian."

Rob nodded. "Sure. I actually was thinking about calling you, too."

Blaine's hazel eyes widened. "You were? So has he been moodier than usual lately to you, too?"

Rob closed the door to his bedroom and looked relieved. "YES. A little...darker. I guess moody is a better way to describe it, because he's not snapping at people _all_ the time, and he's not isolating himself and acting depressed or anything. He's still goes out drinking and clubbing in the city and he still goes out for coffee and studying with Karen, Jay and I."

"He's _snapping_ at people?" Blaine's beautiful eyes were distressed.

Rob looked a bit guilty. "Here and there...just to me and Karen and Thomas because I think somewhere in his moody little heart he knows he can get away with it with us. But he's more brooding than snapping."

"And you don't have a clue as to why?"

"No. Though I haven't asked. He's been moody from time to time all year, but he usually comes to me when he's wants to talk." Rob's voice sounded a little amused. "He starts sticking closer to me until I can tell he wants to be asked what's wrong." Rob's brow furrowed as he continued. "But the moodiness has been more sustained this quarter, outside of when he was really happy in New York with you. And it's been almost progressively as the quarter's gone on."

Blaine ran a hand through his curls, instantly regretting the damage to his coif. "I guess you're right, it does seem like it's been getting worse and worse all quarter. He's not unkind to me, but he just seems crankier about everything else in his life - more than usual. Like he was talking this week about how depressing it is to drive home that boy he tutors...but he used to have to do community service at Dalton in situations more depressing than that. And he complained a little about his schedule but technically his workload isn't nearly as bad as it was last quarter. So I can't shake the feeling that it's more than any of the things he's blaming it on. Yesterday he was more angry than depressed."

"Yeah, and a little quieter, more serious about anything he's not cranky about," Rob thought out loud. "Karen commented on it, too. And Roger and Thomas and Charlie. Roger corralled us into a little pow wow about it when Seb and Jay were running late to Thomas' birthday. No one has a clue what it could be. The reasons he snapped at Thomas, Karen and me were all over the map. After a band friend of mine flaked out on me for something, he accused me of being too forgiving. Karen said he called her a sell-out for taking a part-time job blogging for a health website. Thomas got yelled at for not paying enough attention to Jay."

Blaine stared at the moon. Well, two of those reasons have to do with friendships…"

"That's as far as we got, too." Rob replied, his blue eyes looking thoughtful. "The thing with Karen is random though. She took a job like that last quarter too, and he never said anything about it." He lay down on his old twin bed and stared at the ceiling. "I asked Jay later if Seb has mentioned anything that might be bringing him down, and he said no. But he said that he and Seb don't talk much these days - they just hang out. I was going to call you to see if anything was going on with you...or the two of you."

Blaine sighed. "I almost wish there were, then I would know at least know what this is about."

"Well, I'll let you know if I can find out anything this weekend. But from our very quiet drive down here last night, I get the impression that your man is less interested in pouring his heart out to me this weekend and more interested in sleeping in my parents' quiet house and getting taken care of by my mom."

Blaine smiled softly at that. "Well, that will be good for him. No matter what's bothering him, I bet some time with your family will help. From his account last Thanksgiving, it really helped him when he was so stressed out about his first set of Stanford finals."

"I'll tell my niece go easy on him in checkers," Rob smiled.

Blaine chuckled. "That's right, she beat him at Thanksgiving, didn't she?"

Rob was glad to hear Blaine laugh. "Yep. And I'll stick Baron in his lap when he falls asleep while we're watching movies. Baron would make a good therapy dog."

Blaine smiled and shook his head. "I think you'll have better luck with your niece."

Rob chuckled. "Yeah, at least she won't lick his face. Seb was really not as interested in a morning makeout session as Baron was."

"Tomorrow morning, VIDEO PLEASE!" Blaine pleaded with a grin.

"You're asking me to risk my life for your entertainment. And Sam's…" Rob said with his crooked grin.

Blaine smiled more widely and bit his lip in concentration. "Hmmm...What if I promise to get Sebastian to come to Comic-Con next year?"

Rob laughed and replied with logical skepticism, "What? I thought we were joking in Orlando about that!" He added in his sensible way, "I hate to break it to you, but remember Comic-Con is always in July - he's going to have another internship that he won't be able to take two days off from."

"You'd be surprised what I can get him to do," Blaine said with a wicked little chuckle.

Rob smirked and shook his head slightly. "Hah, you're right, what was I thinking? You can get him to do just about anything."

They heard pounding at Rob's bedroom door. "ROB! Are you in there?!" The door opened a crack and Sebastian thrust his head and bare chest into the room, his hair standing on end. "Can you get rid of _this_?!"

Rob sat up slowly. "What?" he asked calmly.

"THIS!" The door was thrown all the way open to reveal Baron playfully tugging on the hem of one of Sebastian's Ralph Lauren pajama pant legs. Sebastian lifted his leg in the air and the poodle just hung on by a firm grip of his small jaws, kicking all four legs as Sebastian swung him about.

Rob started shaking with silent laughter. He said to Blaine, "Man, I really wish you were here. I gotta go...but yes, VIDEO tomorrow. Bye!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, please review! Love you guys, hope you're enjoying the holiday season.


	37. More Victor, plus Cooper, Pauline, and Sam, Oh My!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the much belated continuation of Something Sebangsty This Way Comes. I know it's not very Glee-like (hah), but I wanted some character development. I know it's a foreign concept, but just go with it. We get more Victor, played by the impeccable Paul Bettany, some Blam (hope this helps you if you miss them on Glee Season 6 like I do) and Coop, and a bit with Seb's next door neighbor Pauline, played by Emily Bett Rickards. Oh and there's Seblaine, of course. A good, juicy dose of Seblaine :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Year's Resolution: to write this faster for you guys! So sorry for the delay over the holidays. Hope you enjoy!

Sebastian stood at the condiment bar, his dance-trained posture less erect than usual. He pulled his Tiffany flask out out of his backpack and dropped a shot of courvoisier into his coffee. As he secured the lid to his cup he wondered if he should have made it a double. Or a quadruple.

When he stepped out of the coffee shop door he found himself face to face with Victor Connelly, who was serenely sipping a beverage at an outdoor table.

“Oh hey Sebastian,” Victor said in his calm, affable way. His eyes landed on Sebastian’s backpack. “You headed back to class?”

Sebastian drew himself straighter before answering. “Yes. Well, back to writing a paper worth forty percent of my grade.” He started guzzling his coffee and hoped Victor wouldn’t keep him long.

Victor studied Sebastian’s tired face for a moment. “Oh, right. You’re headed into the last stretch of the quarter.” He paused as he drank a little coffee. “When I was in school I always remember thinking Memorial Day weekend was terrible timing because it was so close to finals. It never felt like a real holiday. Did you hang around here studying during the long weekend, then?”

Sebastian shook his head. “I drove down to Ojai - my roommate’s parents’ house. But we studied a lot there.”

“At least you got away, and Ojai’s so tranquil. Good for you,” Victor said supportively. He waved a hand at the chair beside him. “Do you want to sit down for a few minutes while you wait for that caffeine to hit you?”

“Sure, but I can’t stay long.” Sebastian replied with trepidation, squirming internally. He dropped his backpack on a third seat and sat down across from Victor, conjuring a polite half smile.

“I can’t stay long either. I have to go back upstairs and prep for a big meeting.” Victor grimaced at the thought. “But I had to step out for a few minutes - I’ve been going nonstop all day. I know if I don’t slow down for at least a moment I’ll just end up starting to uselessly spin my wheels." He pointed at a rainbow-mohawked young man walking in the distance. "This is my favorite spot for a brain break around here, you never know what you’re gonna see.”

Sebastian quietly sipped his coffee again, hoping if he was an uninteresting companion, his father’s friend would let him go.

Victor was unfazed by the boy’s silence, accustomed to it after many years spent with the senior Smythe. He also knew better than to make unnerving eye contact. Looking out on the promenade of pedestrians instead, he mustered his most careless tone of voice. “So, how have you found year one at Stanford?”

Sebastian bit back a groan, switching into his polite-patter-for-parents mode and following Victor's gaze out to the passersby. “Fine. The people have met or surpassed expectations; the tradition and resources are impressive; the academics are respectable. And California is almost perfect, I can see why you relocated here permanently.”

Victor nodded and turned to take a longer look at Sebastian, noting that the boy had indeed inherited his mother’s beauty. The guarded expression in his eyes, however, was Bill’s.

Sebastian felt Victor's eyes and turned to him with a subtly challenging look that was his father's as well.

Victor met his gaze, unruffled, and continued in a gentle, matter-of-fact tone. “Sebastian, just so you know...when I told your dad I would look out for you here, I didn’t promise I would carry out any agenda, or tell him _everything_ you tell me.”

Sebastian sipped his coffee to avoid the kind blue eyes that seemed to give credence to the possibility that a friend of his father’s could actually be...sincere. Still undecided about it, he tried to sound casual again. “There’s not a lot to tell,” he shrugged, glancing down next at his shoes.

“Sure,” Victor said easily. “This is just your first year.” After a brief pause, he decided to just cut right to the chase. “Look, Sebastian. We may not know each other that well - I've only just seen you briefly off and on since you were a baby - but your dad and I are close. Not just old drinking buddies or classmates...he’s one of my best friends.”

Victor paused to collect his thoughts before continuing quietly. “We went through a lot together, not just fun and games. Tough stuff...we got each other out of more than one scrape at Dalton and at Harvard Law. We helped each other through a lot.” He glanced at Sebastian’s rather stoic profile. “That’s relevant because…” he paused and restarted. “Well, I just want you to understand that I would be more than willing to be there for you, if you ever need someone - at least while you're still getting to know people out here.”

Sebastian’s expression was still serious, and otherwise unreadable.

Victor was encouraged that Sebastian didn’t give him a signature Smythe smirk or a withering look. He glanced up at a swaying eucalyptus tree and went on. “So I hope you won’t hesitate to get in touch with me if I can help with anything: if you want to vent about something, borrow something, whatever. Or if you get into trouble - just call, I’ll do what I can, no questions asked. I’ll get you my cell number.”

Sebastian’s eyes were still a bit uneasy, but he made eye contact again and even produced a small, indiscernible smile. “Thanks, Victor. I appreciate that,” he said politely. His stomach had started to churn a little. He stood up and picked up his backpack awkwardly. “Mmmhmm," he grunted. "Sorry, I should probably go get some food. My stomach is growling.”

Victor raised his eyebrows slightly. “Oh, by all means. You need fuel to write a good paper.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Mmm yeah, I guess. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sure, yeah...see you tomorrow, Sebastian.” Victor said with an understanding nod.

Then the boy took off hastily, and Victor shook his head slightly with concern. _Definitely a chip off the ole you-know-what._

...

 

“He's doing it again," Blaine called as he plugged his Ipad in and shoved his head into the depths of his closet.

"Doing what?" Sam asked, crouching down outside Blaine’s door to tie the laces on his hiking boots. “Come on, everyone’s probably waiting for us downstairs.”

Blaine pulled his jacket on quickly and closed his bedroom door behind him, trying not to slam it in frustration. "That thing, that thing where he says he's fine when I know he’s not. That thing where I can tell he's stressed out but he won't talk to me about it, just says he’s just busy and tired and rattles of a list of grievances without REALLY talking about what might be making him so moody.”

He sighed a little sigh and grabbed his backpack. As he followed Sam out the door he thought again that it was a curious idea to go on a hike at 9pm. Sure, it was bright as day out, thanks to Edinburgh’s latitude. And he was grateful for sure - it was only fair repayment for being pitch black at 3PM in December. But it was still bizarre to an Ohioan that they could do this.

Sam's lower lip protruded a bit in sympathy as they stepped into the elevator. "I'm sorry, man. That sucks, it sounds like he gets so stressed out at the end of every quarter. I hope it won't be like that for you when you start at UCLA."

Blaine crashed into a slump against the wall of the elevator. “Yeah, exams always stress him out some, but it’s more than that, I can tell..." His expression softened and he looked at his shoes. “I’m really worried about him. Something’s really upsetting him and I don’t know what would be worse, if it’s so deep seated that he doesn’t even know himself what it is, or if he knows, but he doesn’t want to talk to me about it.” He looked up at Sam with wide hazel eyes. “It’s so hard to tell which it is...I hate being so far away from him.”

Sam looked sympathetic. “At least when we get to LA you’ll be a lot closer and get to see him more.” He scratched his head as he thought aloud. “Though I don’t know how much it will help, you said Rob can’t figure out what’s wrong, either...and he lives with Seb.”

Blaine pouted at him and crossed his arms. “You’re not helping.”

“Sorry,” Sam wrinkled his nose in apology and they continued their ride in silence.  
When they reached the lobby they found the usual crowd waiting. But their ring-leader Liam wasn’t there yet, so they knew they wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. Sam got Blaine’s attention again. "Maybe that’s just how it’s always going to be during the couple of weeks around finals. He could just be what my mom calls ‘a stresser.’” He drew air quotes as they settled on a lobby sofa. “You might just have to accept that he’s going to always stress around this time every quarter, and you're just going to have to wait for it to blow over until you can talk it out later, kind of like you did before spring break.”

He leaned forward and cocked his head slightly as he continued. “And I’m here, things aren’t so crazy for me this quarter...I can...pinch hit for Seb, if you want.” His blue eyes were tentative. “Do you want to...snuggle tonight? I could sit on a telephone book or somethin’ and we could watch a movie.”

As sweet smile spread over Blaine’s face before he chuckled softly, “I doubt a telephone book would be necessary, he’s not THAT much taller than you. You just slouch more so it seems like it.” His smile faded a bit as he went on. “But no, you don’t have to do that...but it’s sweet of you to offer.” _It wouldn’t be the same._

Sam watched Blaine’s face get even sadder, which panicked him a bit. “I know I don’t have to, but I don’t mind, really… It’s really no big deal.” He groped for a way to cheer Blaine up. He arched an eyebrow and tried to emulate Sebastian’s way of making rakish innuendos. “We could borrow the dorm mother’s dog and it can nibble on your ear... _or maybe more..._ ”

Blaine burst out in a laughing and it felt really good. “You are ridiculous...and do you really think Sebastian sounds like a cross between Sean Connery and John Wayne?”

Sam shrugged good-naturedly. “I haven’t practiced Seb very much. You should send me your favorite videos and I’ll be better prepared next time.” He added earnestly, “But seriously, we can cuddle and watch a movie tonight, I really don’t mind...I bet Mary would snuggle, too.”

“No really, it’s okay,” Blaine replied, his melancholy creeping back again.

[](http://imgur.com/tB6BWOB) 

“Well, if you don’t need a cuddle... is there...stuff you want to talk about? I told Sebastian would take better care of you this quarter, and I really want to.”

Blaine shook his head and sighed. “No, I’ve told you everything there is to talk about. Outside of worrying about Sebastian, I’m doing pretty well this quarter now that the admissions decision is over. I guess that makes this situation better than last quarter, when he was doing a million things to take care of me and I felt like the needier one.” He rolled his eyes as he added with chagrin, “At least we’re balanced - we’re both doing nothing for each other!”

“I’m sorry, man. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually, maybe all you can do is give him some space,” Sam said, wishing he knew what else to say.

They were interrupted both by Blaine’s phone ringing as well as Liam and Mary walking up to them. “It’s Cooper,” Blaine said to his friends before waving for them to walk ahead of him.

Blaine’s face brightened as he answered the phone. “Hey Coop, it’s been so long, I’ve missed you!”

Cooper squinted in the sunshine at a basket of chip bags on the craft services table in front of him. “Huzzah, I caught you finally! I’ve missed you too, little brother! I can't wait until you are living here and we don't have to coordinate timezones, we’ll only have my crazy soap schedule...and the lack of cell zones in our studio... to contend with.”

"And _my_ schedule," Blaine said with a shake of his head at his brother’s usual self-centeredness. "So, how are you doing? Are you getting used to the long hours, are you making more good friends?"

Blaine listened with interest to his brother's latest account of soap opera set life as he, Sam, Liam and Mary climbed into Mary's car; caravaned to the edge of town where scenic countryside suburbs began; and parked at the foot of a small hill. Cooper was still talking away as Blaine began trailing his group of friends on the gentle grass and flower strewn hike. When they reached their first vista point, Blaine stood a bit apart from his closest friends in the group, who had settled down to enjoy the view of a monument in the distance. He found himself distracted by the picturesque scene, motioning for Sam to take a photo of their friends’ silhouettes, framed by the graceful branches of a large hilltop tree.

[](http://imgur.com/ln3KElK) 

"So, how are you Squirt?" Cooper finally asked.

"Okay," Blaine replied mildly, not really knowing where to start. "Really busy with final assignments for my classes and Grease rehearsals. I can't believe this year is almost over - it's surreal - I'm going to miss the friends I've made here...and Scotland. It really is a beautiful place."

"Yeah, but you've got an exciting new life chapter waiting for you in California!" Cooper replied blithely. "You're a lucky duck. I can't believe Dad is buying a house for you, you spoiled brat."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "They said the house is for all of us - it just makes it easier for them to come visit both of us, and this way they won’t be throwing money down the drain not only on hotels but also on rent or dorm fees. It’s not my fault you don’t want to live in it with me."

"And give up my house? Not a chance, I just finally got it arranged how I like it. And bringing a girl home to trip over Tina in her hot rollers and/or you and Sam playing Playstation on the floor in the living room is not appealing on any level. And I wouldn't trust Sebastian to talk to any of my dates while I’m in the kitchen pouring drinks, or on the morning after."

Blaine warmed momentarily at the thought of Sebastian as a weekend fixture in the new house his mother had sent pictures of. But the mention of his troubled sweetheart also launched him into worry again. “Well, you should at least feel free to come over and hang out whenever you want,” he said, only partially succeeding at keeping his voice from growing increasingly distraught.

Cooper’s eyebrows raised. “Squirt, what’s going on over there? You sound...odd.”

Blaine sat down on a large rock. “Don’t call me that,” he said automatically. He spoke haltingly as he sought a place to start. “But yeah, if I sound funny...it’s just... you mentioned Sebastian...I’m really worried about him right now.”

“Why? Is he okay?”

“No, he’s not okay.” Blaine said with quiet frustration at his brother’s pointless question. He rubbed his forehead and stared out at the vista beyond his friends. “He’s upset about something, but he won’t tell me what it is. I’m not even sure he knows himself." Blaine rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Or maybe he knows and he just doesn’t want to talk about it with me,” he continued. “He keeps giving me reasons I don’t believe, things that didn’t used to bother him that much, like his loud friend Thomas or his gossipy friend Katie or the subpar coffee on campus. And when he’s not complaining about those things, he just says he’s feeling grouchy because he’s tired.”

Cooper was subtly dismissive. “Don’t be such a worrywart, Baby Brother. That’s probably all it is - he was exhausted beyond belief when I saw him for our little trivia night around this time last quarter...”

Blaine groaned at the mention of the Blaine Game and shook his head. “But it doesn’t make sense. He can’t be that tired, we talk everyday and unless he’s lying to me about it, I know when he goes to bed and gets up. He’s getting more sleep than last quarter, and he has way less on his plate - only three classes, no competition for glee club to rehearse for, no recruiting or lacrosse. If anything I would think he would be happier this quarter, he seems to like his law internship well enough and he's even learned some cool things about his dad from his dad's friend Victor, the senior partner at the law firm. Victor even gave Seb his cell phone number and offered to be like a guardian angel to him.”

“Hmmm,” Cooper said, pacing and wondering if he could get any mileage out of his brother’s story for a future acting choice. “Have you tried needling him until you can get him to blow up, you know, like you did last quarter?”

“I’ve been trying, but he doesn’t seem like he’s going to blow up. And I don’t even know what to needle him about! Last quarter I at least knew what the problem was - he was anxious about getting everything done and getting straight A’s and getting a great internship and being perfect. He was shortening all of our calls and emails because he wanted to be working all the time. I knew he just needed to release some of the anxiety, I just had to pin him down long enough to get him to erupt and let me help him.”

Blaine tucked his legs underneath him in a lotus position as he continued worriedly, “It doesn’t feel the same this quarter. It’s not bubbling at the surface, it seems so much deeper seated. Like I said, the surface stuff - school, internship - everything seems like its going okay. And now he’s in no hurry to hang up...he stays on longer actually - to complain and brood. But we’re Skyping only a half hour or an hour a day, so it’s hard to tell...maybe he _IS_ hiding something...” Blaine trailed off with an increasingly concerned expression.

He got up off the rock and paced between the trees as he continued. “I wish he was still writing me letters. Last quarter and the quarter before that he actually used to reflect on his life sometimes when he got to rambling in his email letters to me, but now he doesn’t write those anymore since we talk everyday…”

“All of that really doesn’t sound good,” Cooper interjected frankly, cracking open a diet soda. “You said he comes from a pretty screwed up family, right? So he lacks the emotional skills that we have.”

Blaine rolled his eyes at his brother’s condescension. “Cooper, please don’t start with your acting workshop pop psychology. And he has more emotional intelligence than...” he sputtered defensively to a halt before he said something he'd regret. _He has more emotional intelligence than you._

Cooper looked surprised. “Okay, his grouchiness is rubbing off on you.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine apologized, deflating like a balloon. “I know you’re just trying to help. I’m just so frustrated - I’m sorry if I’m taking it out on you. I just really hate not being at Stanford right now.”

“Then go be there!” Cooper said, gesturing dramatically. “Go rescue your boyfriend!”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Blaine said automatically. “Yet,” he added with a faint sigh.

Cooper knit his brows as he solidified his position on the matter in his mind. “Whatever. Listen to me, little brother - I wouldn’t let things fester too long. You told me Sebastian’s got a temper, too. Upset can turn into angry in a split second if something really bad is brewing. And angry can turn into a break-up.” He chugged down some of his drink. “Go see him! Don’t you still have those plane tickets he gave you for Christmas? I’m sure the ‘Rents would understand if you didn’t use the one for visiting them.”

[ ](http://imgur.com/SeGaZJA)

“No, I used them for my school visits and Orlando. Anyway, I can’t get away, this weekend I have my silent retreat and then it’s already Grease’s opening night the next weekend.”

“Silent retreat? Oh man, Blainey when I introduced you to yoga I did not mean for you to get full-on zenpsycho with it.”

“Hey, it’s not psycho!” Blaine said hotly. “I told Sebastian that I wanted to first get more comfortable being alone so I wouldn’t become too dependent on him as a boyfriend. So I’m spending some time alone at this retreat. It’s supposed to be difficult, but also really cleansing and revelatory.”

Cooper replied with a rueful smirk, “When Seb goes berzerk and breaks up with you, that might be cleansing and revelatory, too.”

Blaine glowered. “It’s nice to know that in my moment of need, I have family like you to support me. I’m hanging up on you now. Uncle Willy would be more helpful than you right now.”

“Oh, stop being so overdramatic. Just listen to your big brother - pull up your potty-training diaper and pack your suitcase. Seb needs you. You can have your alone time another weekend. And I can give you some miles to get a plane ticket - dad just gave me some so I can go to my friend’s destination wedding. I haven’t bought the ticket yet, I could just get you a ticket to Stanford. I actually don’t really care about going to that wedding - I thought The Azores were near the island that Johnny Depp owns, but it turns out they are just off of Portugal.” Cooper perked up with a follow-up idea. “Actually, you should just ask Dad for the miles, I’m sure he would give you some more of his zillions of miles.”

Blaine softened at his brother’s offer. “I don’t know…” His brow furrowed. “I’m going to see Sebastian in just a few weeks after Grease is over, and I’ve already paid for the silent retreat. Anyway, I was talking about this with Sam and he thinks I need to give Seb some space and let it blow over.”

“Sam’s wrong,” Cooper argued, before a voice in the background called for him. “Oh, shoot... I gotta run, Blainey. Let’s talk some more about it, okay? I’ll try to call you in like an hour, I also wanted to talk to you about something that might be good for a Father’s Day gift for Dad. You know how I’ve been trying to convince him to grow a beard?”

Blaine’s voice was wary. “Yes?”

“Well, I found the perfect gift to help with my argument. It’s called a Chia-Dad.”

“A _what_?”

Cooper replied with machine-gun excitement. “It’s SO cool...You send them a photo of your dad and the approximate diameter of his face, and they custom mold a terracotta planter holder with a hole where the chin would be for the plant to grow out of!”

Blaine was speechless.

The voice was heard again, louder. “ANDERSON, I’M NOT CALLING YOU AGAIN!”

“I’ll explain more when I call you back...” Cooper said hastily.

“No, don’t explain.” Blaine shook his head but was unable to repress a smile.

“No, no, it’s really amazing! He’s gonna love it! But I really gotta go...bye!”

“Bye, Coop.” Blaine hung up with a chuckle.

 

...

 

Sebastian, carrying an armful of files, approached Victor’s office door, which was slightly ajar. He was about to knock when he heard a girl’s voice over Victor’s speakerphone that made him pause and step away from the door so he wouldn't eavesdrop.

The young woman’s strong, pleading voice could still be heard. “Come on Dad, you let me stay here last summer...”

[](http://imgur.com/SHC8EKp) 

Victor was placing files into his briefcase. “Ella, you’re whining again. You know that never helps your case. I’m also not sure how much it’s going to help you when your mother hears you’ve come to me behind her back." He added with a teasing, fond smile, "If I didn’t miss hearing your voice so much, I’d hang up on you.”

Ella’s voice lilted. “Aw, Daddy...I miss you too.”

“Don’t ‘Aw Daddy,’ me.’” Victor said, smiling again in spite of his reprimand. “And don’t suggest a Skype to give me your butter-me-up face because I don’t have time for it, I’m on the way out the door to a meeting up in the city and I have to be on a call the whole way.”

Ella resumed a normal tone. “Okay fine, but at least explain to me why mom won’t let me stay here when you let me spend the summer here last year.”

“The only reason why we allowed you to move to Chicago early last summer was because Bill and Sally offered to let you stay with them. Bill gave me your bedtime every night,” Victor paused to chuckle, “and reported how many tattoos were on every boy that came to pick you up for dates.”

Sebastian looked perplexed. His father had never met any of Sebastian’s few legitimate dates he happened to be in Westerville for, let alone inspected them in any way.

Ella chuckled, too. “He was so adorable.”

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed. _Adorable_? He couldn’t have heard that right.

Ella was continuing in a coaxing tone, “So wait, could I take the job if I stayed with Bill and Sally instead of renting the apartment? They _did_ say I could come back to stay with them anytime I wanted…”

Sebastian’s eyebrows raised. That had to be Sally talking.

Victor seemed to have the same opinion. He was now over at his file cabinet and turned to call over his shoulder. “They were being polite. Especially Bill. You’ve probably figured out that he’s not exactly a kid person?”

“I’m not a kid anymore, Daddy. I’m 19, I’m an adult. And I think they genuinely enjoyed having me. Don’t forget that after I emailed him last fall for career advice, Bill even invited me to have coffee with him. And then he said we could meet up every quarter. He’s been so helpful as I’ve been comparing my internships, talking about law versus business versus government or nonprofit work."

Sebastian swallowed and tried to remember if he had had enough to drink at lunch. Why was he so thirsty?

Ella added with a grin, "And remember the Taylor concert!”

Sebastian’s jaw dropped. He definitely could not have heard _that_ right.

Victor let out a huff of laughter as he closed the cabinet. “He would not have gone with you if Sally hadn’t made him after your friend cancelled.” He paused for a second at the idea, a smile spreading across his face. “I can’t believe he went with you, I still totally owe him for that. William J. Smythe at a Taylor Swift concert! It kills me he won’t let me tell any of our old Dalton friends about it.” He added with a shake of his head, “Not that any of them would believe me.”

“Do you want me to send you a picture I secretly took of him tapping his foot during Taylor’s last song?” Ella giggled.

Sebastian’s brow furrowed. _No fucking way._

Victor widened his blue eyes and chuckled. “You sneaky thing, of course, send it to me! Maybe I can hound him into letting me at least show his son Sebastian when I see him next. Did he tell you Sebastian is at Stanford? He’s a freshman, too, and he’s interning here in my office.”

“No, really? What’s he like? I never could get much about him from Bill. I only got him to show me a picture. His son is gorgeous!”

Sebastian smirked slightly, in spite of himself.

Victor shook his head and teased his daughter with a smile. “He’s a good kid, but don’t get any ideas about marrying rich and getting Bill as a father-in-law. Sebastian’s gay,” He closed his laptop.

Ella laughed softly. "Come on Daddy, do you really think you raised a gold digger?”

Victor stood up, collecting a few papers off his desk as he said with mock seriousness, “I don't know, a year of college can really change kids.” He paused as he put the papers in a leather padfolio and zipped it up. “But we’re getting off track. For now the answer is maybe. Let me talk to your mom.” He added conspiratorially, “Between you and me, I think she’s less worried about your safety than she is wanting you home for the summer like you originally planned. She misses you so much, kiddo.”

“Awww,” Ella said. “I miss her, too. But remind her that the internship is only eight weeks, so I’ll spend a whole month with her at the end of the summer! That’s one third of the summer!”

Victor put the laptop in his briefcase and closed it, saying indulgently, “I’ll remind her, counsellor. You might want to Skype her after I talk to her, though - to get in your closing argument and the butter-me-up face. But if you have coffee with Bill before I talk to you again, no dropping hints or flat out inviting yourself to stay with them this summer. You were raised with better manners than that, young lady.”

“Oh, I already had coffee with him this quarter," Ella replied cheerfully. "And of course I wouldn’t be that obvious. But thanks for talking to mom, Dad. If anyone can persuade her, it’s you.”

Victor shook his head with amusement, “Butter, butter, butter. I’ll let you know how it goes. Now I do have have to run, for real. Next time you call me you can’t have any ulterior motives. Just call to tell your old man you haven’t forgotten about him and tell me all about your life.”

“Of course. Have I mentioned lately that you’re the best dad, ever?”

Victor smiled and looked fondly at the photo of his daughter again. “Nope. That’s so fake that you’d think I wouldn’t enjoy it...but I’ll take what I can get. Now scram.”

Ella laughed before her voice softened with affection and concern. "I really do miss you guys. It's just...this ad agency is like the most prestigious in Chicago...mom just doesn’t understand how competitive it is going to be to get a good job when I graduate, even from an Ivy League...”

“I know, I know. I'll see what I can do... no promises. But I really have to go now. I miss you, too. Bye, sweetheart.”

“Bye, Daddy.”

Victor clicked the speakerphone button and scanned his desk one more time.

Sebastian waited a few more beats before he knocked and opened the door wider, raising the files into the air. “Hey, Reynaldo thought you should bring the Facebook research, just in case.”

Victor looked up. “Oh hey, Sebastian." His brow furrowed. "Okay, if he wants me to - though I think he is being a little paranoid.” He took the files and opened his briefcase to put them in.

When he looked up, Sebastian was gone, not even remembering to say goodbye in his haste to leave.

 

...

 

_SEBASTIAN: Hey you. Sorry to do this, but I should probably skip our call today and try to take a nap. I didn’t sleep well last night. But I wanted to check in at least before I pass out - everything okay with you? Don’t be offended if I don’t reply during this exchange, it’s not because I’m ignoring you - I just may have fallen asleep._

_BLAINE: Oh, I’m sorry you couldn’t sleep. I’m doing fine, just a little tired, too. Since my brain has been chattering at me so much that I actually had trouble going to sleep too, at least last night. So I’m looking forward to the silent retreat. This quarter’s been so full… it sounds so peaceful. Were you worrying about something in particular?_

_SEBASTIAN: No, not that I remember. I just kept waking up and staring at the ceiling - my mind felt like a blank. Either that or I only dreamed I was awake, and I was really just half asleep the whole night. Finals stress, I guess. Unlike you, my life felt TOO quiet at 3AM._

_BLAINE: I’m so sorry, I wish you had called me, maybe I could have done something for you. I could have sung you a lullaby, at least._

_SEBASTIAN: You were in the middle of class, Killer. Don't worry - I’ll be okay, I just need to catch up on some sleep or Saturday ain’t going to be pretty_

_BLAINE: You’ll be amazing even with no sleep from now until then. You’ll be so juiced with adrenaline to beat poor Thomas. :) But I should let you go. I don’t have Grease rehearsal until 9 tomorrow, so maybe we can Skype before you go to bed?_

_SEBASTIAN: Sure, though I should probably get to bed early. Maybe I’ll take a sleeping pill tonight. And a call would be better, I’m not much of a sight to see right now - dark circles under my eyes, I need a haircut... I look like a disaster._

 

_BLAINE: You’re gorgeous when you’re sleep deprived, I’ve seen you that way, remember ;) But whatever works easiest for you - just call me. I miss you so much, I can’t wait until we live closer so I can take better care of you._

_BLAINE: Did you fall asleep?_

_SEBASTIAN: Yeah, sorry I'm nodding off. I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Miss you, too._

_BLAINE: Okay, bye. XOXO_

_SEBASTIAN: Bye_

...

Blaine came out of his room the following morning, shoulders slumped and his hair gelled almost completely flat.

Sam and Mary were sitting side by side on the couch, eating bowls of cereal and watching the morning news.

Blaine just stood in the middle of the room, staring at nothing and looking like a sad puppy.

Mary happened to glance his way and sat up straighter with concern. “What’s happened, love?” She set her bowl on the coffee table in front of her and coaxed him closer towards them.

“Sebastian stood me up for a Skype date. I’m so worried, it’s so not like him to do that. He’s acting like a different person.”

Sam’s face grimaced in sympathy. “I’m sorry, man. He probably just fell asleep.”

“I know,” Blaine said weakly. “But I’ll take that snuggle now, if that offer’s still good.”

Sam nodded and Mary made room on the sofa and Blaine wedged himself between them. He put his head on Sam’s shoulder, saying dully, “My old Seb would make a threesome joke right now. I miss my old Seb.”

Mary rubbed his arm and made comforting noises for a few seconds before all three of them lapsed into silence.

After a long minute Sam whispered nervously, “I’m so sorry, but I really have to pee. Can you put your head on Mary while I hit the john?”

 

...

 

Sebastian opened his dorm suite door to find a mischievous looking Pauline. "What?" he asked grumpily.

Pauline’s blue eyes were shining and she ignored her next-door neighbor’s particularly surly tone. "I have something that will cheer you up, Seb! We've decided what we're doing for the Midnight Yell! We were inspired by the study abroad pamphlets lying around Tressider...we'll be kicking off Dead Week with an underwear-only ‘Running of the Bulls’ through every hallway of Roble!" She paused expectantly. “Isn’t that an amazing idea?”

"No," he grunted, turning to close the door.

Pauline grabbed his arm, looking baffled. “What? I thought you'd be totally up for this! In fact, I can’t believe you didn’t come up with this idea yourself! You're the king of pranks, and this is the ultimate stunt to pull on the dorm management and RA’s!” Her blue eyes looked up beseechingly. “Come on, please, ‘Bas?” She added sweetly, “If we can tell people _you’re_ doing it, we’ll get much higher participation...”

Sebastian crossed his arms and he tried to look patient as he leaned on the frame of the door - but he still looked as cranky as he felt. He’d been in an evil mood ever since he woke up with his face in a book at 2AM, cursing himself for standing up Blaine. Then he had tossed and turned all night for the second night in a row.

“I told you ‘no’ already, Paulie Pocket. And don’t you think your little act of civil disobedience should attract dissidents on it’s own merits, rather than rely on peer pressure like some episode of Hannah Montana or 90210?”

Pauline rolled her eyes. “‘Bas, you know we live in a vast pasture of nerd sheep. They are only gonna follow a leader when we’re asking them to run from floor to floor in their skivvies.”

“Ugh,” Sebastian grunted. “I really don’t want to witness this, let alone be a part of it. The idea of watching Marcelo and Randall jog in their boxers…or worse, the even more horrifying scenario where they decide to wear briefs...” His nose wrinkled in disgust.

“You won’t have to look at them long if they’re all running behind you! And you’ll be distracted from the visual if you’re busy singing lead on the epic song we’ll be blasting! We’re thinking, ‘We Are Golden,’ what do you think?” Pauline didn’t pause for an answer as she grabbed his forearm and enthused with a faraway expression on her face, “It’s bringing the Midnight Yell to another level! We’ll go down in Stanford history as the most legendary class of freshmen ever to live in Roble!”

“Or the most idiotic,” Sebastian grunted and shook off her hand. His blood was starting to simmer. “Isn’t it enough that you wheedled Rob and I into serenading your sorority pledges?” he asked, arching a brow and looking annoyed. “I told Rob that if we said yes, it would be a slippery slope and that before we knew it you would be back asking us at every opportunity for more free entertainment…and here you are.” He arched an eyebrow at her as he turned away again. “Sorry kid, but I’m not your singing monkey.”

 [](http://imgur.com/gAOuSM8)

Pauline chuckled as she often did when Sebastian kavetched to her about his daily grievances. “No, you’re my singing Chippendale if you do this. That gives me an idea, I should invite my sorority sisters to come watch, those girls told me they’d pay me good money if I would get you to join the swim team.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Didn't your sorority teach you about sexual harassment? Now take off, I have studying to do.” He turned again to retreat inside.

Pauline grabbed his shoulder to pull him back and tease, “‘Bas! Since when do you not enjoy getting drooled over, even if it is just women?!? What, do you want some favor in return?”

“You can do me a favor and stop whining,” Sebastian shook his shoulder free, turning yet again.

Pauline crossed her arms and blocked his door open, looking undeterred, if still a bit puzzled. “You’re being such a spoilsport! Come on, I bet we'll make the Stanford Daily with this!” She giggled at the thought. “Don't you want to be able to mail your parents a copy with a picture of you on the front page?!?”

Something in Sebastian snapped. He turned around and hovered over her as he retorted sharply, “Pauline! Since when did you become such a nag?! Leave me the hell alone!”

Pauline’s eyes widened in surprise before her face fell.

[](http://imgur.com/rCdvTbN) 

Sebastian’s face morphed into one of exhausted, bitter remorse. Why did girls have to be so damn sensitive? He turned towards her more fully, arms crossed again, looking vexed. “Oh, come on, Paul...don’t be a baby...I’m sorry, okay? I’m just not in the mood to deal with everyone’s Dead Week denial. I’m more of a rip-off-the-bandaid kind of guy, you know that. And I’m trying to get my papers done early for once.”

“Okay,” Pauline’s face still looked hurt as she tried to compose herself. She turned to leave.

Sebastian still felt like he had just taken a strap to Snow White. He stepped into the hall after her and pulled on Pauline’s shoulder to stop her as he continued in frustration. “It’s not a bad idea, I’m just not in the mood for it myself. But when we’re up in Napa I’ll help you choreograph something to teach everyone to do during the run, okay?”

“Okay,” Pauline said quietly, twisting again to leave in embarrassment.

Sebastian let out a little disgruntled sigh and called out to her before she reached her door. “Hey, Dollface…”

Pauline turned back to him slowly.

The green eyes looked guilty as he spoke stiffly. “I...I meant it when I said I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have barked at you like that. I’m really tired, I barely slept the last two nights.”

Pauline’s big blue eyes softened. She gave him a sympathetic half-smile. “It’s okay, I’m sorry I pushed so hard.”

“You didn’t...I’m...I’m sorry.” Sebastian didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s okay, Seb…” Pauline didn’t really know what else to say either, so she ducked into her dorm suite without another word. Sebastian palmed his forehead and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. The fucking turning-over-a-new-leaf business was still so draining sometimes. It was so much simpler when he was just an asshole.

He ducked back into his suite, feeling more disgruntled than ever. As he stared vacantly into the small, empty living room he felt hollow. What a weekend for him to revert completely back to being a prick - the weekend when Blaine was on a silent retreat.

Blaine was at that retreat right now, probably glad to not have to talk to him after being left high and dry last night. Sebastian’s chest tightened up as he berated himself once again for standing up the one person who had balls enough to try to help his sorry ass. If he didn’t get his shit together he was going to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He felt his heart physically aching for Blaine, and it made him feel like a pathetic cliche. He pictured him at some Scottish monastery, probably worrying about what a miserable excuse for an almost-boyfriend he had. Probably praying to a god Sebastian wasn’t sure existed.

Meanwhile, Sebastian was stuck at Stanford. He didn’t even know what the hell he wanted to do for the evening, which was unheard of for him on a Friday night. He had rebuffed the overtures of the few friends who still had the courage to invite him out on their excursions to have one last hurrah before Dead Week and finals.

If he wasn’t feeling so cynical, he might go to the campus church to see if there was a god to pray to. He still really didn’t know what ailed him.

Sebastian retreated towards his bedroom slowly, rubbing his eyes as he sat down at his desk, opening his laptop idly. He opened his ITunes app and scrolled mindlessly through his playlists. His eye paused on one that he had almost forgotten he had made. He had named it “Disappeared Somewhere.”

That’s when it hit him that he hadn’t really felt this way since he’d lived in Paris. Earlier this year, the reasons for his dark moods had been abundantly clear: adjusting to Stanford, his father at Christmas, missing Blaine. In Ohio it had taken him longer to figure out what had him feeling so wretched so much of the time: adjusting to Dalton, Klaine, academic and competition stress, more Klaine, college admissions, and still more Klaine.

In Paris, however, the source of his moods weren’t so easily surmisable. Long after he had acclimated to the culture and his school, he often felt beastly without really knowing why - though he also wasn’t too interested in navel-gazing to figure it out. He just wanted out of the darkness as soon as possible.

So in Paris he had swaggered into and stumbled out of clubs and bars three or four nights a week, if not more, to shake that darkness. He had danced, lied, smirked and seduced to pleasurably distract himself from getting even more incredibly pissed off for no clearly identifiable reason.

The music had always been key in shaking his demons off. When he walked into the right clubs the music would almost instantly carry him into a different headspace. The thumping beats and hypnotic refrains spun him into feeling almost nothing at all...even before the liquor hit him.

Sebastian started the playlist. The familiar opening lines of a 90’s club classic crept under his skin again ( _listen to “Missing" on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist, play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine_ ]):

_Step off the train, walking down your street again_

He closed his eyes and remembered being able to push his imagination to conjure images of having a shadowy, long lost lover as the beat shook the club.

 _Passed your door, but you don't live there anymore_  
_It's years since you've been there, and now you've disappeared somewhere_  
_To outer space, you've found some better place_

He opened his eyelids for a moment to turn up the volume, to the maximum his ears could stand, glad that Rob was at Karen’s and vaguely wondering if Pauline had left yet for her date with Roger.

 _And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain_  
_And I miss you, oh, like the deserts miss the rain_  
_Could you be dead? You always were two steps ahead_  
_And everyone, would walk behind where you would run_  
_I look up at your house, I can almost hear you shout down to me, where I always used to be_

Just like on those Parisian nights, the ethereal melody and strong beat seeped through his veins. He remembered how fifteen year old Sebastian could almost fool himself into believing he was missing some romantic ex-lover...when what he really was missing was his younger, less bitter, ten year old self.

Sebastian’s eyes startled open at the sound of Blaine’s text tone coming from his pocket.

_BLAINE: How are you doing? I’m totally breaking the rules here by texting you._

_SEBASTIAN: I’m fine. You can go back to retreating silently. Seriously, don’t worry about me. Once I get some more sleep tonight I’ll bounce back completely._

_BLAINE: How has your day been so far?_

_SEBASTIAN: Okay until about 5 minutes ago. My leaf turned back over again and I bitched at Pauline for no real reason except that I’m in a Sebastian 1.0 mood. You should delete me from your contacts now - run for your life so I don’t bite your head off, too._

_BLAINE: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you guys okay now? Try not to beat yourself up, you’re operating on so little sleep. Everyone is grumpy when they’re sleep deprived._

_BLAINE: I’m not going anywhere._

Sebastian rose from his chair and threw himself on to his bed. Suddenly the song still encompassing the room had new resonance:

 _And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain_  
_And I miss you, oh, like the deserts miss the rain_

_SEBASTIAN: I can’t fucking tell you how much I miss you._

_BLAINE: I miss you too, baby. But we’ll be together soon. Then I’ll be able to take care of you properly. I’ve been worried about you._

_SEBASTIAN: Don’t be. I’ll be fine, I don’t know why I’ve been such a drama queen. Please don’t worry, because if you worry then I’ll worry about you worrying. You should go to bed, you shouldn’t be up at 1AM if they are going to have you up for monk-like activities at the break of dawn tomorrow._

_BLAINE: I’m worrying about you and you’re worrying about me which makes me worry about you more. It’s a vicious cycle, what do we do? ;)_

_SEBASTIAN: How about you go to bed and we both stop worrying._

_BLAINE: How about you open the door._

Sebastian’s brow furrowed at his phone screen before a knock was heard at his front door. He nearly knocked his chair over as he lunged out of bed and past his desk, walking in shock to the front door. His mind went into overdrive. _He couldn’t really..._ Sebastian opened the door and even though he was putting together what was happening, his mouth still dropped open slightly at the sight before him.

Because sure enough, it was Blaine. Beautiful Blaine with tears in his big hazel eyes and a soft, loving smile on his face. Blaine, with his messenger bag. Blaine, with a weekender suitcase. Blaine, here. Blaine, at Stanford.

_Maybe there is a God._

Blaine, his eyes searching, stepped forward and slipped his arms around Sebastian’s neck, standing on his tiptoe to breathe a single word into his ear: “Surprise.”

Sebastian’s brain short-circuited, but his arms went automatically around the tiny waist, gripping at the familiar flesh through the rich cotton of Blaine’s polo. Then his arms tightened around his precious Blaine and he buried his face in the soft curls, but he was still speechless. He almost felt like he was floating.

Blaine hugged him tightly back, though he was a little thrown by the silence of his normally eloquent sweetheart. He added tentatively, “I hope it’s okay that I came, I promise I’ll stay out of your way so you can do whatever you need to for your race and to study for your finals, I just thought I could bring you food, and cuddle...”

The words grounded Sebastian suddenly, and he pulled away from their embrace to press his forehead against Blaine’s and interrupt with urgent gravity. His hands came up to cradle Blaine’s face, stroking over the soft skin as if to confirm Blaine was really there. “ _OF COURSE_ it’s okay, it’s more than okay," he said quietly and seriously, his green eyes growing wet.  He took the biggest breath he had in weeks, his voice coming out a little shaky as he exhaled and continued, “I’ve never been so fucking glad to see you."

Then he leaned down to kiss Blaine with all the feeling he couldn’t put into words.

Blaine leaned up and parted his lips, releasing weeks of worry into the urgent, searching, ardent kiss.  He always felt a rush of emotions when they started kissing like this, usually a mix of love, desire, and happiness; but tonight it was an overwhelmingly tidal wave of relief. 

For Sebastian there was love, gratitude, relief, and more.  So much more _._ So he kept kissing voraciously, trying to somehow  pour his heart into Blaine’s with his whole body.  One hand instinctively moved up to Blaine’s neck and the other grasped his ass to mold their bodies together completely.   He couldn’t stop if he tried, their cocks were hardening as their tongues moved against each other with rising intensity, dizzying heat spreading through every inch of their bodies.

Sebastian’s lips moved to press into Blaine’s neck  - he wanted to bury himself in him.  Both his hands moved with quick, almost desperate pressure through the dark curls, down his neck and over every inch of his back, waist and ass as he could touch.

Blaine’s appearance on his doorstep had been surreal.   But his soft lips were real, they felt and tasted just as Sebastian remembered; his glossy curls and his supple skin felt and smelled just as they should; and that was definitely the curves, the heat, and the particular pressure of Blaine’s body slotted against him.   It felt like he was drinking Blaine in after being parched for years.

Sebastian had no idea, he hadn’t understood until he buried his face into his Blaine’s neck and dug into his skin, just how much he had needed Blaine’s presence for the last several weeks.  He hadn’t known just how much Blaine could instantly ground him. 

Blaine responded ardently, arching his neck, one hand slipping under Sebastian’s shirt to glide all over the soft skin on his back while the other came under the front to rub the skin on his firm abs and chest.  It felt so good to be so close again after being anxious for so long.

They both were groaning softly when Sebastian finally grabbed the front of Blaine’s polo with one hand and the handle of the suitcase with the other, dragging both inside before slamming the door shut behind them.  Lifting the messenger bag off him quickly, he pushed Blaine against the door and crashed their lips together feverishly, gnawing on Blaine’s lower lip before he clawed the polo and undershirt up and over his head.  His leg shoved between Blaine’s thighs and he was pinning Blaine’s strong biceps against the door, sucking his neck, nipping harder all over his chest, biting at his nipples and grinding against him heatedly - it was rough and everything he needed after several weeks of dismal moods.  “I’ve fucking missed you,” he hissed.

“I’ve missed you too,” breathed Blaine, bucking up against Sebastian and itching to take his shirt off to kiss at his beautiful chest and abs.  But he didn’t - he was going to stay pinned against the door for as long as Sebastian wanted him to. 

Sebastian devoured his neck, every bit of gorgeous skin all over his chest, and stroked at the bulge in Blaine’s tight tan pants until Blaine was bucking hard up against his hand.  When Sebastian finally paused for air, Blaine practically pounced to get Sebastian’s shirt off.  They were reeling as they fell all over each other, touching every square inch of skin they could,  drunk on the taste and feeling of each other.

Sebastian finally took a panting breath, locked the front door and moved them toward his bedroom.  As soon as they reached the privacy of his room, he took off his jeans and boxer briefs.   By the time they had taken the two steps more to the bed, their shoes, socks, and Blaine’s underwear and pants were off.

Sebastian crashed them down on the queen sized bed, and it’s only when their  naked bodies were finally, completely pressing together perfectly, when Blaine’s entire body was blanketing him at last, that Sebastian truly exhaled, as if for the first time in weeks.  _God, I love you._

More of his pent up frustration dissolved as Blaine’s mouth found his.  He tasted him as Blaine’s strong fingers moved through his hair, his own hands roaming the perfectly soft, firm skin of Blaine’s back and hips and ass, over the curves and musculature he’d memorized and dreamt of all quarter.

Their cocks were sliding vitally and Blaine rose to his knees and started to kiss down Sebastian’s abs, but he was stopped.  Sebastian needed control in his life just now.  He rolled them over, covering Blaine entirely, just wanting to encompass all of him.  He tried to take Blaine into every pore, as he kissed him like it was a brusque mandate.  He began kissing every inch of Blaine’s skin like he would starve if he stopped, his hands gripping and splaying down his sides and across his torso, waist, and hips.

Blaine thrusted up and whined breathlessly. "Oh god Seb…” _I love you._

Sebastian began sucking hickeys to the tender insides of Blaine’s thighs while his long fingers were stroking his hip bones and gripping his cock. Then his mouth’s moist heat enveloped Blaine’s dick and it never felt _this_ fucking good, so perfect, to take in this most intimate part of his lover.

His tongue was unhinging Blaine by the second and the hazel eyes were closed tightly when he moaned out, “Seb, stop I don’t want to…”

Sebastian pulled off and nodded, wiping his mouth, his green eyes intense.  He crawled over to the nightstand for lube and by the time he was back Blaine was already starting to finger himself, knowing that they couldn’t wait any longer to get even closer.

Sebastian pulled Blaine’s fingers away and bent down to rim him, only getting in a few strokes of his tongue before Blaine keened and pushed him away, feeling sure he would come too soon if Sebastian continued overwhelming his senses.  Sebastian moved up to kiss all over Blaine’s chest, and as he pressed slickened fingers into Blaine, he let himself close his eyes.

He pressed his mouth on the crook of Blaine’s neck, feeling the vibrations and almost-musical groaning sounds spilling out from Blaine’s mouth, cloaking himself with Blaine’s energy and their intimacy.  With every  groan and push he felt the bitterness of the last several weeks fragmenting and fading.

“Now,” Blaine hissed in his ear, so he pushed in, feeling Blaine’s nails dig into his back as he accommodated him, his nails scratching even deeper when he was ready and they found their pace, Blaine’s lips found Sebastian’s shoulder as he lifted his hips off the bed to meet Sebastian’s thrusts. Everything felt so right, being so close to Blaine, melding into one as they chased a feeling of relief they had both been starved for since New York.

“God yes,” Sebastian panted intensely, his face still buried in the nape of Blaine’s neck, both of his hands reaching under for his incomparable ass as Blaine thrusted up.  The room was dimming in the twilight, “Nothing from This” now thumping from his speakers  _(listen to it on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist, play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine])_:

Real

_Real_

_Real_

_Real_

Sebastian grunted his name into Blaine’s skin every time he angled his hips, his skin getting slick.  Blaine could feel a hunger and need coming from his lover that he’d never felt before. He felt like he was on fire, wanting to hold on to Sebastian tighter than ever to take and return every drop of passion he was getting with every stroke, every stretch, every drag Sebastian was offering.  “Sebastian!  God!” he cried, adding in a ragged whisper, “I’ve got you, don’t ever stop.”

“Fuck you feel so…” Sebastian trailed off, thrusting still harder.

Then he shifted his hips and Blaine moaned in pleasure, “Just like that, babe, god!” wrapping his legs tightly around him.  Sebastian kept thrusting in spite of almost no room to pull out, sweat dripping off of him as he felt his climax approach, chasing it desperately as Blaine began to come between them,  untouched.  Sebastian pistoned harder than ever until he shouted Blaine’s name, coming inside him, harder than he ever had before.

He collapsed on Blaine, breathing heavily for a few moments before rolling them over, still holding Blaine closely, wanting to stay inside him forever.  Their breath mingled as they lay there together, feeling that intimacy they could never get enough of.

A few minutes later, Blaine finally spoke up, still in a hazy euphoria, warm and happy, his finger drawing circles on the soft skin on the inside of Sebastian’s arm. “Just when I think making love to you can’t get more amazing...it does. We really needed that, huh?” he asked, pulling away from Sebastian’s chest to find the beautiful green eyes.

But Sebastian was fast asleep. 

Blaine smiled softly in spite of himself.  Shaking his head faintly, he muttered with good humor under his breath, “Well, that’s one way to deal with your sleep deprivation.”

Then he pressed a tender kiss to Sebastian’s neck, and closed his eyes, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone,
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Again, my sincere, deeply felt apologies for taking so long to publish this. The holidays got the best of me this year and I found myself procrastinating about all that smut there at the end! Big thanks to Beta readers Avani, Rose, Cristina, Harvey and bonus-smut-expert Ao3 Seblaine writer Seblaiens...if that last bit got you hot and bothered, you have her to thank!
> 
> I promise I won't take so long with the next bit, I'm sure you guys want to see Seblaine in California together again, and of course to see Sebastian shrug off some of that evil mood he's got going on!
> 
> Please review, free free to PM me for spoilers, or just say 'hi, I'm still reading and I'm here to motivate you to write faster'!
> 
> xoxo
> 
> Tiburonwriter


	38. Careers, Kenny's Concert and The First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Answers behind Sebastian's angst, Blaine meets Kenny, and lots of fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oy, another month. Delay blamed this time on the Glee Forum's Roleplaying section, which is not at all like scary Tumblr, it is like group fanfiction and it's a blast. And a total time suck. I'm SORRRYYYYY! But here is fluff to make up for it. I love you. Please review maybe it help me not be so sucky-slow. :(

_People who are emotionally adept — who know and manage their feelings well, and who read and deal effectively with other people's feelings — are at an advantage in any domain in life, whether in romance and intimate relationships or picking up the unspoken rules that govern success in organizational politics._

Blaine dog eared the page in his book as he felt Sebastian stirring around him behind him: his warm lips on his shoulder; his long arm tightening around his waist; his smooth, toned chest warmly pressing on his back...and of course Sebastian's half-hard cock pushing up on his ass. Blaine slipped the book under his pillow and smiled softly as he turned around, his eyes growing fonder at the sight of his love. Sleepy, naked Sebastian with his broad shoulders, bare chest, mussed-up hair and long-lashed eyes halfway closed was as sexy and adorable as Blaine thought any one human being could ever ask for. He really hoped Sebastian wasn't going to fall back asleep.

The hazel eyes grew bright and loving as he leaned in for a chaste kiss. "Good morning, Sunshine," he said softly, his fingertip tracing over one of Sebastian's graceful cheekbones.

"Mmm," Sebastian mumbled, moving their hips closer together and thumbing Blaine's cheek as he looked at him. "Why can't you be here every morning?

Blaine hummed adorably, twining his legs more tightly in Sebastian's and using a finger to draw between beauty spots on Sebastian's chest. "I think if I was here every morning we'd never get out of bed and we'd both flunk out of college." He nuzzled into the soft skin of Sebastian's neck and added playfully, "Maybe Nina's right, everything happens for a reason. Maybe us ending up in different cities is so you aren't distracted from an opportunity to earn a prestigious diploma from Leland Stanford Junior University."

Sebastian gave Blaine's bottom a punitive pat, his green eyes starting to open as he drawled, "Way to ruin the mood, Anderson. Nina and old Leland in one breath, that's an impressive geriatric one-two punch."

Blaine smiled and kissed Sebastian's earlobe. "Sorry."

"Anyway, who needs college if I can have your ass everyday?" Sebastian said with a lazy smile and a more lustful caress of Blaine's ass. He stopped short however, when he caught sight of his bookcase over Blaine's head, looking more orderly than he had left it last. His brow furrowed. "Did you clean up in here? I have a maid coming this afternoon."

Blaine pulled away and glanced down, looking a bit sheepish. "I know, but I wanted it to be nice for us this morning, in case you wanted to laze around in bed or study in here."

Sebastian looked amused at him, asking his follow up question in the tone of a preschool teacher to a pupil. "And did you do anything else while I was asleep?"

"Oh, I don't know...some work on my final papers," Blaine said abashedly.

"And..." Sebastian cocked his head, smiling a little wider.

"And I did your laundry." Blaine admitted. "Your basket was so full!"

Sebastian chuckled. "You didn't have to do that! You are such a busy bee...what else did you do? Cure cancer?"

Blaine snuggled back into him and said with with a sweet smile, "Dusted the living room a little.

"Aaand..." Sebastian lifted the sheet partially off of their bodies "...changed the sheets?"

"They had cum and sweat all over them from last night!"

Sebastian's eyes narrowed as he looked down at himself. "Did you manage to give me a sponge bath without waking me up?"

Blaine smirked and nodded. "I would make a joke about Tina but Sam and I promised that we would stop..."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and chuckled softly, shaking his head. "You are a wonder, a freakin' boy wonder. Did you sleep at all, superhero?"

"Yes," Blaine rolled his eyes and wiggled up to nuzzle his face in Sebastian's neck. "It's 3 in the afternoon in the UK, Bas," he said against the firm, soft skin. "I've been up for hours. But I should probably try to take a nap later, so I don't crash out on you too early tonight."

Sebastian paused and raised his wrist to narrow his eyes at the Movado Blaine had given him. "Wait...so it's... 7AM?"

"Mmm hmm," Blaine confirmed, nodding patiently against Sebastian's collarbone. He added in a murmur, "It's sweet how much you love that thing, but you really need to take that it off when we're having sex, you might gouge me with it or something."

Sebastian ignored Blaine remark in favor of diving under his pillow and groaning. "7AM, ugh, why am I awake, then? It's Saturday...Let's go back to sleep..." He scooted lower until he was almost completely underneath the covers, swapping their positions, cuddling his head into Blaine's chest, and tucking his long fingers under the compact muscles of Blaine's biceps.

"Feel free to try," Blaine said reasonably, affectionately finger-combing tufts of soft brown hair sticking out from under the sheets. "But your body has been asleep for 13 hours - I think it could use some exercise."

Sebastian stayed still on Blaine's chest for a few seconds before his hands moved down Blaine's sides and started to stroke Blaine's bare thighs. "Okay, let's get some exercise, Killer," he said in his sexiest voice, kissing and licking down the increasingly heated skin of Blaine's upper abs.

Blaine smiled and joined him under the duvet, pulling the covers over their heads and finding Sebastian's mouth in the darkness. "Mmmm, okay, since I walked into that one…"

"Your innocent act is just that, at least in bed." Sebastian whispered against his lips, one hand cupping Blaine's ass and teasing a finger between the cheeks.

Blaine shuddered a little and pressed his lips to Sebastian's strong shoulder. "You're onto me, huh?" he said against the smooth skin. "You are getting smarter at this fancy college…" His hands grazed up to the back of Sebastian's neck.

"If you don't stop bringing up school... I won't let you top," Sebastian's lips tugged into a slight smile as he traced his long fingers over Blaine's hipbones.

"Who says I want to top?" Blaine teased back, running his fingers up and down Sebastian's muscular back.

"You have that look in your eye," Sebastian replied smugly as he threw the covers off their heads. He rolled Blaine on his back and started to finger his nipples.

"Mmmmm," Blaine gave a little groan. "Oh, really?" he said, his voice rich as chocolate.

"I saw it the second you turned around when I woke up. You had that 'I want my dick in your ass' expression on your face," Sebastian grinned as he leaned down to lick at Blaine's left nipple and bite it lightly.

Blaine blushed and laughed. "You can be sooo unromantic."

"Hmmph," Sebastian rolled his eyes and leaned away from Blaine to reach for his phone on the desk. Seconds later a familiar song began to play over the Bose speakers as Sebastian pressed a deep, dizzying kiss on Blaine, pressing his chest on his and massaging his cock with one hand. [Cue "All I Want Is You"' on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist, play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine])

 _You say you want_  
_Diamonds on a ring of gold_  
_You say you want_  
_Your story to remain untold_

Sebastian started slow, passionate kisses down Blaine's neck and Blaine felt like he was in heaven as he stroked Sebastian's biceps and pushed his now fully hard cockup for more delicious friction. It was like Sebastian had somehow opened up Blaine's heart and found the song inside. 

_But all the promises we make_  
_From the cradle to the grave_  
_When all I want is you_

Sebastian kissed him deep, long and sure. "Romantic enough for you?" he said in his lowest, sexiest register as he slid up more on top of Blaine and started to slowly slide their cocks together. Then he kissed him heatedly again before Blaine could answer. 

_You say you'll give me a highway with no one on it_  
_Treasure just to look upon it all the riches in the night_  
_You say you'll give me eyes in a moon of blindness_

_A river in a time of dryness, a harbour in the tempest_  
_But all the promises we make from the cradle to the grave_  
_When all I want is you_

 _You say you want your love to work out right_  
_To last with me through the night_

 _You say you want diamonds on a ring of gold_  
_Your story to remain untold, your love not to grow cold_  
_All the promises we break from the cradle to the grave_

_When all I want is you_

...

Blaine rolled over onto his back in a boneless post-orgasm haze, with a dreamily contemplative look on his face. Not surprisingly, Type-A Sebastian's default for a first round of lovemaking tended to be very passionate, with varying degrees of roughness. Blaine loved being with him like that - it always made him feel incredibly loved and desired; he always responded to Sebastian with equal fervor and felt like his heart was going to explode with everything he felt.

Plus, of course, it was also just very, very, hot.

All that being said, what Blaine loved even more was the sweet, slow kind of sex they had just had. He reflected on why as he stared at the ceiling. It was probably because we are always a bit more...present...and... attentive. Sebastian managed to be tender and ardent at the same time. It was truly beautiful that way. So different than anything Blaine ever had experienced before.

Of course, sex with Kurt was often sweet and slow too, but with Sebastian, as with everything else, it was more intense. More intensely sweet and more exquisitely slow. We're more loving, Blaine concluded was satisfaction. Not that sex with Kurt wasn't loving. It's just more loving with Sebastian...they just felt more connected, somehow.

Stop thinking about Kurt while you're in bed with Sebastian, Blaine chided himself. He furtively glanced over to his lover, remembering their evening in New York. Sebastian was on his back, too, stretching his long arms out. One hand slid under the pillow and bumped into Blaine's book.

Sebastian drew it out lazily and slowly lifted the book over their heads to look at it. "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ." He turned his head to look at Blaine with a smirk. "Did you take a Cosmo-quiz in here to help you figure out if your almost-boyfriend has any aptitude? In other words, are my days officially numbered?" as he said it, Sebastian found himself disturbed at his own joke.

"Of course not," Blaine said, hoping he didn't look as flustered as he felt. "Emotional intelligence is just a term Cooper reminded me of when we were on the phone...and I googled it." He groped for more to say. "That book was a huge bestseller and there are like three follow up books. My dad had a copy of the one about how the concept applies to leadership lying around the house. I'm curious about what Dad has to say about it."

"And what did Cooper have to say about me?" Sebastian cocked an eyebrow and smirked again, tucking his arm under Blaine's shoulders to draw him closer.

Blaine drew up to him willingly, but he hesitated about what to say.

Sebastian's green eyes were knowing. "Blaine, I know you talk about me with him. And Sam, and Sam's girlfriend, and Tina, and probably others. It's what you do."

Blaine looked apologetic. "And you don't really mind? Because I don't have to..."

Sebastian shrugged and replied mildly, "Of course I kind of mind. But that's because I am, largely... how does Santana put it? 'A little dickhead of a hermit turtle that shrinks into my Burberry shell whenever I smell a whiff of intimacy.'" He added quickly, "Except with you. She says her Mexican deities blessed me with you and that I'd better be careful and not screw things up with my one chance for happiness."

He reached over and tweaked Blaine's nose. "But you, thankfully, are not me. You are... you. So do what you have to do. And if what you have to do is talk to other people about me...well, so be it. If it helps you, I can get behind that." He let out an imperceptible sigh. "I suppose I can understand you needing to vent to someone when I'm being a pain in the ass."

Blaine drew still closer and rested his head on Sebastian's chest. "I appreciate that." He pulled the covers higher and rubbed Sebastian's chest soothingly before adding, "Though you're not a pain in the ass." He leaned up to kiss Sebastian's cheek and add impishly, "Well, except after we get a little too wild in bed."

Sebastian chuckled and kissed Blaine's curly head as he shifted to sit up a little higher in bed, but didn't reply. They lay in thoughtful, comfortable silence for a few moments. Sebastian stared at Blaine's book beside him in bed and thought about how worried Blaine must have been. His voice was quiet as he spoke again, his hand combing soothingly through Blaine's hair. "You didn't have to come, you know. I mean, I was missing the fuck out of you...I wanted you something fierce, but...you didn't have to miss your retreat."

"I wanted to come," Blaine said calmly. He took a few beats and wrapped his arm around Sebastian's chest to hug him before continuing. "You know Seb, it's really okay for you to need people sometimes."

Sebastian kissed the top of the curly head and teased with a slight smirk, "You know, Blaine, it's really okay for people not to need you sometimes."

As soon as the words left his mouth he grew worried that he had hurt Blaine's feelings. Not daring to look down, he hastened to add, "I mean, I always want you here, and I feel better already just by having you here...but... I really would have lived if you hadn't come. We only have two more weeks until Paris."

He was met with silence and his heart sank. Why had he even brought up all of this? He really, really sucked at this talking-about-your-feelings crap. He finally finished a bit listlessly, "Maybe by then I would have shaken this malaise and you wouldn't have to see me like this."

Blaine finally poked his head up and coaxed Sebastian by the chin to look him square in the eye. "I don't mind seeing you like this. In fact, I'd rather see you like this than worry about you from Britain. I'm just saying that you don't have to be alone when you're suffering…"

"I wouldn't say I've been suffering," Sebastian objected. "I've just been...a bit...lower, than usual…"

Blaine took a deep breath, holding his tongue because he didn't want to bicker. He said patiently, "Fine, I just want you to know that you don't have to be alone when you're feeling low. Remember, like your favorite song of mine? 'Baby, you're not alone, when you're here with me,'" he sang softly. "That's one of the great things about being in a relationship." He was comforted by the small, fond smile this drew on Sebastian's lips but was unsatisfied by the still sober look in the green eyes. "Anyway, since I'm here now, maybe I can help you think through it. Humor me... I was thinking about it this morning...maybe it would help to be systematic about it, like one of your engineering problems. Like let's talk about all the possible sources of your mood."

Sebastian let out a small sigh and looked fondly down at Blaine's expression of earnest conviction. "Fine, since I can tell you're not going to leave me alone about it." He ran his fingers through his own hair with resigned half-smile. "Well, let's look at what's different this quarter than last quarter," he said in his matter-of-fact way. "Rob's not around as much because he and Karen are a thing. But I've been just been hanging out with other people instead and talking with you more, so I haven't felt lonely or anything. And you know I actually like being alone, more than some people." His hand combed Blaine's curls and he leaned to kiss the top of Blaine's head.

"Okay," Blaine's brow furrowed, not noticing he was being teased. "Then how about the triathlon... you've been training for that instead of lacrosse. Do you miss lacrosse more than you realize? And you've been complaining about Thomas a lot lately, are you worried about him beating you again? Is he really getting under your skin?"

Sebastian stared dully at the ceiling. "No, no...and no," he replied thoughtfully. He paused and massaged Blaine's scalp. "Don't ask me why, I just know none of that is bugging me enough to justify my mood. Thomas isn't actually as bad as he probably sounds to you. You'll understand when you meet him, he's a little bit like Puckerman, a lot of show and bluster, but not that bad." He shrugged and his eyes narrowed as he mentally scanned the other activities of his quarter. "I guess another thing that's different this quarter is the internship."

"Right," nodded Blaine. "But that's actually been better than you thought it would be, right? You said the people are cool, you've been learning things that interest you, and Victor's been so nice..."

"Yeah," Sebastian said vaguely. He paused, not knowing what to think of his time at the firm. He stared at the Stanford sweatshirt that lay on his dresser across the room. "Maybe it's all been a little TOO good. You know I hate it when my dad is right." Blaine felt Sebastian's body tense up a bit as he latched onto the idea. "Yeah, that could be it."

Blaine looked puzzled, scooting halfway off of Sebastian's chest to lean on one elbow and look at him. "But...your dad has been right about things before and it hasn't bothered you that much. I mean you've said something about it but it hasn't sunk you so low. I guess because you've ultimately benefitted from his advice, even if he didn't give it in the nicest way: your summer jobs in high school, volunteering this quarter…"

"Not letting your parents pay for the cleanup of your birthday party," Sebastian added wryly. He sighed as he reflected on the issue, looking out his window. "Like you said, I took his advice on those things because I decided in the end that I would benefit from it, or that it was just the right thing to do, even if I wasn't going to give him any satisfaction by telling him he was right. But those were all pretty small potatoes in the grand scheme of things."

His voice grew more strained. "This is different - we're talking about what I want to spend 40, 50, 60 hours a week doing for decades. What if he's right and I should become a lawyer? It's a career where you get paid well to lead armies of attorneys and paralegals to prepare for a fight. Doesn't that sound like me? From what I can tell, I would be really, really, exceptionally good at it." One hand traced a circle a little bit too firmly on Blaine's arm. "What if that bastard's been right all this time and I really should be an attorney? What the hell am I doing taking electrical engineering and Physics-for-Masochists, then?" His fingers were combing through his hair own again.

"If you want to be an attorney, then be an attorney, Seb." Blaine replied earnestly. "It's okay if, like you said, you decide you agree with him." He reached up to cradle Sebastian's cheek in his hand and look into his eyes while continuing. "On the other hand, just because you're good at something doesn't mean you have to do it. You would be exceptionally good at a lot of things, baby. You'd be a great actor, a great..." he paused and smiled as he thought about it, "food critic, art dealer, race car driver, writer, architect..." He trailed off and waited another beat before rubbing Sebastian's arm consolingly. "I think you have to ask yourself the question Uncle Willy asked Cooper and I once."

Sebastian's face contorted in confusion. "Uncle Willy? That loon?"

"He may be a loon, but he's also one the happiest people I know," Blaine smiled. "He said to us once, 'You have to ask yourself, what would you do if you won the lottery and had a million dollars a day? What would you spend your life doing if you didn't worry about being successful? Because you can't take it with you."

Sebastian exhaled and shook his head. "That man is straight out of a Capra movie. There's always that crazy old guy in them saying shit like that. Lionel Barrymore in 'You Can't Take It with You' ... and that crazy old guy in the dress in 'It's a Wonderful Life...'"

Blaine rolled his eyes and interrupted. "His name was Clarence, it was a nightshirt, and he was an angel. And as much as Uncle Willy always managed to completely mortify me when I was growing up, he's an old darling and you know it. I saw how much you enjoyed him on Christmas Eve. So I think you should answer his question." Blaine propped his chin in his hands on Sebastian's chest to look into the troubled green eyes. "What do you and Rob talk about over beers on Friday nights or when you're up late eating cookies and pizza? What do you say you can't wait to do once you graduate?"

Sebastian glanced at the closed door. "We talk about building a company someday and doing something big with it." He swallowed and his hand stilled on Blaine's shoulder. "But I've told you the stats for failure on that, B. And even if I managed to pull it off it would take so much longer. I could be in a law firm, firmly on track for partner just four years after I graduate from Stanford."

Blaine didn't answer, sensing there was more anxiety to release.

Indeed, Sebastian's words seemed to come out in a flood as he added, "In business I'd have to be a peon for three, four, maybe five years before two more years of business school to get my MBA. Then I might have to work more if I don't yet actually have AN IDEA for what the hell I want this phantom business to be. Even if by some miracle Rob's still around then, he's not the most creative Joe I've ever met. I'd have to have an idea that the market and investors want. I'd have to hustle for investors, because the terms that my cruel grandfather set for my trust fund won't launch the kind of company I'd want. And even the best ideas, with funding, fail for a million other reasons that my dad barrages me with every time I hear from him." He exhaled as he finally paused, slowly and bitterly running his hand up and down Blaine's arm. "That's the cold, hard reality."

Sunlight was starting to come in the window. Blaine's eyes looked golden and steady as he replied quietly, "Yeah, but remember what Jimmy Dugan said about baseball? The hard...is what makes it great. And I know you are capable of greatness. I see it everyday in you." He lay his head down again on Sebastian chest and hugged him again.

Sebastian took a breath, feeling like courage was seeping into him through every inch of Blaine that was pressing down on him. "It sounds like you're trying to earn your wings," he said softly, coaxing Blaine's head up for a loving kiss. _God, I love you so much._

Blaine exhaled a little as he hugged Sebastian and felt his lover's body relax a little. They lapsed into a thoughtful silence for a minute.

Sebastian kissed Blaine's temple. "I'm glad you came, B."

…

After breakfast, a quick tour of campus (including a makeout session in the corner of the observation deck atop Hoover Tower), and a morning study session at a coffee shop on University Avenue, Blaine concluded that Sebastian's mood was better than it had been during the last several weeks. But he was still a bit more serious than Blaine was accustomed to. He just wasn't sure if this was just what Sebastian was like when he was studying close to finals. In quarters past they had limited their contact to short emails and abbreviated weekly calls that weren't very different than the way Sebastian was acting now.

He slipped his hand into Sebastian's as they entered a modest church. "Do you see Kenny's mom anywhere?"

Sebastian scanned the room and shook his head. "No..." He stopped and added with a trace of bitterness, "At least his grandmother is here."

Blaine looked up at him with narrowing eyes. "Where?" He peered in the direction Sebastian pointed. "We should go sit with her, right? Maybe his mom is in the restroom or something."

Sebastian hesitated, tensing slightly.

"Kenny would like to see all of us together, and it will be easier for him to see all of us if we're together afterwards," Blaine said firmly, tugging Sebastian down the aisle.

When they reached her row, Sebastian slid into the pew and lifted his hand in a small wave. "Hello, Helena," he said quietly and politely.

"Sebastian," Helena replied calmly, her eyes looking a bit questioning at the sight of Blaine. "Kenny was happy about you coming."

"This is Blaine Anderson, he's visiting me," Sebastian said, almost in a monotone as he gestured to Blaine behind him. "Blaine, this is Helena Washing, Kenny's grandmother."

Blaine was a bit disturbed at Sebastian's cool manner but he reached over to shake Helena's hand, giving her his warmest smile. "It's so great to meet you, Sebastian's told me so much about Kenny."

Helena nodded and they settled into their pew. She left a space between herself and Sebastian. "Kenny's mother on her way," she said without conviction.

Sebastian didn't look in her direction, saying under his breath to Blaine, "Yes, just like the last five times she was supposed to pick Kenny up from tutoring."

Blaine's eyes widened slightly and his hissed just loud enough for Sebastian to hear, "Shh, Seb, she'll hear you."

Sebastian looked irritated and wouldn't look at him, but his voice was quieter. "It's nothing she doesn't know."

Blaine's mouth opened but he didn't know what to say.

The orchestra director welcomed the audience and the youngest ensemble of young musicians began a halting rendition of Copeland's "Simple Gifts." As they made their way through the piece, Blaine stole glances at a simmering Sebastian. His posture was more rigid than usual, his breaths, though quiet, were shorter, and his face was stony.

After the first piece the director began to provide background on the next song. Blaine looked at the program and whispered, "They have three more songs before Kenny's group comes on." He nervously shifted the small bouquet of flowers for Kenny in his lap. "Hopefully his mom will come before his group starts."

Sebastian gave him a cynical look and said acidly, "You're optimistic, as usual. I think we're going to be 0 for 6, that Larry must be some boyfriend to keep scoring like this."

Helena turned with a sharp expression towards them and Blaine blushed deeply as he glared at Sebastian.

"What? I'm just saying..."

Blaine half stood up and pulled at Sebastian's arm. "We need to talk," he said urgently. They made their way down the aisle and through double doors into the entryway before he turned to Sebastian, looking baffled. "That was so out of line, Seb! What were you thinking?"

Sebastian crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Look, I just call it like it is."

Blaine shook his head, "You can't do that in front of his grandmother! I know that you care about Kenny and it's too bad his mom can't be here..."

Sebastian retorted quickly, his temperature rising. "It's too bad? You don't get it, B...maybe I haven't told you everything..." He tightened his arms around his chest more tightly, his voice growing more upset. "Yeah, it's too bad. Too bad that she can't seem to tear herself away from Romeo every week to pick up her own kid. It's too bad that Kenny's been practicing his little butt off and talking about this damn concert for weeks, including going on and on about how his mom used to play piano, so she's going to love it..."

"Bas, I understand, but you can't call her out in front of her mother..."

"Her mother should do something!" Sebastian snapped. "She should shake her daughter and get her to fucking understand that it is not too much to expect a kid's mother to take an hour out of her precious social calendar to see her own son dance, one stinking hour to..."

Blaine looked at him with puzzlement for a split second before he gripped his arm, his face suddenly softening. "Seb..."

"What?" Sebastian asked in exasperation, his eyes questioning the look on Blaine's face and the tightness of his lover's hold on his own arm.

Blaine pulled at him towards a bench against one wall. "You just said that she should see her son DANCE."

Sebastian's eyes narrowed for a moment, his mouth opening partially. "I did not."

Blaine nodded, his mouth set in a straight line, his eyes sympathetic. He sat down on the bench and guided Sebastian to sit next to him. He rubbed Sebastian's back and turned towards him. "Yeah." He bit his lip and said gently, "Tell me Seb, does Kenny's mom remind you of your mother?"

Sebastian collapsed back and leaned against the wall, knocking his head on it. "Ughh..." he grunted, closing his eyes. "Fuck, I'm such a cliche', fuck. I'm like a bad indie movie that I would walk out on."

Blaine patted his arm. "It's okay. But you should apologize to Helena."

Sebastian sat forward wearily and put his face in his hands. "I can't just flee like a coward?"

Blaine didn't answer that, he just put his arms around Sebastian's waist and laid over him, holding him tight. "It's going to be okay," he repeated, his head leaning on Sebastian's shoulder.

Sebastian took a deep breath and patted Blaine's knee, studying his shoes for a moment.

The double doors opened and Helena walked out, heading towards the ladies' room.

Blaine let go of Sebastian and gave him a little push at the small of his back. Sebastian stood up slowly and said bravely and stiffly, "Helena..."

Helena turned and looked at at them with some surprise. "I thought you left," she said coldly.

Sebastian walked toward her hesitantly. "No, I...Look, I'm sorry about what I said back there...I had no right to..."

Helena cut him off. "No need to apologize to me. You should apologize to Kenny's mother."

Blaine watched as Sebastian stiffened, but took his punishment silently, like man.

Helena continued sternly, "I get that my daughter is not good about picking up that child from that center and that she should be here, but I suggest you talk to her about it directly if you have a problem with it, young man. Then you can hear her WHOLE story. Like she can tell you all about Larry, HER EMPLOYER."

Sebastian's eyes widened slightly and he swallowed. Blaine sucked in a breath and grimaced.

Helena was still speaking quietly, but there was growing heat in her voice. "She doesn't have the advantages of the likes of you, but EVERYTHING she does is for that child. And to that child, she is EVERYTHING. So you best be not sayin' your piece to that boy and planting any..."

She was interrupted by the front doors bursting open to reveal Angelina arriving at a run. When she saw Helena and Sebastian she said breathlessly, "Hey, oh I'm so glad...Kenny hasn't started? Lord, Larry is going bonkers preparing for the launch on Monday, I had to just tell him flat out I just couldn't finish all the work today, I'll have to go in the office tomorrow." She shook her head, "At least I'm getting paid by the hour."

There was an awkward pause as she registered the look on her mother's and Sebastian's faces. Her eyes grew suspicious as she addressed her mother. "Mama, WHAT have you been saying to him?"

Sebastian looked resigned and rubbed his forehead, turning away to go back to Blaine. "Nothing that she didn't have a right to say."

"I was just goin' to the restroom," Helena said with a slight bit of petulance, before ducking into the ladies room.

Angelina looked at Sebastian with concern, before noticing the empty entryway. She came up to him before he reached Blaine and pulled on his arm so he would face her. "How long before Kenny starts?"

"Eight, ten minutes," Sebastian answered. "Probably two more songs."

"Okay," Angelina gestured at the bench next to Blaine's in the entryway. "Are you okay? Do you want to sit down and tell me what she said?"

Blaine stood up to give them more privacy, moving to look at photographs on the wall near the restrooms.

In a few minutes Helena emerged from the ladies room looking bit more composed and glanced at Blaine as she stopped to stand next to him. Blaine gave her an apologetic, polite half-smile. They stood awkwardly together for a moment.

"So, maybe you want to give me a reason why I would want my grandson around him for four hours a week?"

Blaine turned to look at her, his big eyes imploring. "I know Ms. Washing, I know this was really bad. But you do want him around Kenny, you really do. He tells me all about their sessions every week and they are making great progress, and I know he loves Kenny very much. I've never seen Sebastian so invested in a kid before. He actually is a bit uncomfortable with kids in general, but when he gets to know one he is really quite good with them. They like how straightforward he is."

Helena studied Blaine's earnest face, but said nothing.

Blaine was encouraged that she hadn't interrupted. "Yes, he is passionate and yes he made a very bad assumption about your daughter... and he can be a little limited in his… world view. But when you show him where he's wrong, he owns it, like he's doing right now. I know he respects you. You should see how he takes care of his own grandmother. And you'll always get the truth from him, he's honest and he's incredibly generous and will really do right by Kenny. He'll give Kenny all the love he deserves from a tutor or a big brother, he really will. He gave up a day with his friends to be here."

Helena was watching Sebastian talk seriously with Angelina. A long pause passed before she finally spoke up. "He needs to eat more."

Blaine held back a chuckle and took a moment to compose himself. "He's naturally thin," he said tentatively, glancing at Helena to see if she was indeed beginning to thaw. "I kind of hate that about him - I put on weight in my belly way too easily. But I did notice at breakfast today that he is eating a bit less." He paused for a second but ventured on when he got no reaction from Helena. "Maybe it's because he's been worried about Kenny... and some other things," he said vaguely. "He does look a little thinner than usual. When he was playing lacrosse for Stanford last season he had to do a lot of weight training so he had more weight on him." Still feeling a little nervous, he babbled on. "I think he's been exercising too much, he's got a triathlon tomorrow he's been training for." Blaine bit his lip so he would stop rambling.

"Yes, Kenny's mentioned that he is going late to that so he could be here," Helena replied quietly.

After another pause Blaine spoke up again. "I'll get on him to eat more," he promised.

"You do that."

...

Sebastian had smiled at Kenny as he filed in with his group and the excited look on the adorable boy's face made Blaine's heart warm. When the concert was over, Blaine leaned over to whisper during the applause. "I was thinking, I think we should invite them out to lunch now."

Sebastian turned look at him with a confused expression and said in a low voice, "Why? I'm pretty sure Helena doesn't want to spend any more time with me today."

"Because you're going to have to have more interactions with these people, and I thought it would be good for me to be there for the next few."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows slightly but he could see the logic - every difficult situation was easier with Blaine. He nodded, slipping his hand into Blaine's and turning to Angelina and Helena as they emptied into the aisle. "Would you like to come to lunch with us?"

Angelina and her mother looked at each other with questioning glances. Sebastian added quickly, "My treat."

Blaine flinched internally. He knew what was coming next in spite of Sebastian's anxious good intentions.

"We will pay," Helena declared proudly. Angelina was the one looking a little uncomfortable now.

"How kind of you," Blaine said graciously. "Where does Kenny like to eat?"

As if on cue, Kenny came bounding up the aisle and into his mother's arms. All four adults greeted him heartily and his face was shining with happiness. While still hugging his mother, he looked up at Sebastian with palpable amazement. "You really came!"

"Of course I came. If I say I'm going to do something, I do it," Sebastian said seriously, his green eyes intently looking into Kenny's big brown ones.

"Yes, that's called integrity," Angelina said with a meaningful look at Sebastian. "It's something Mommy is going to work on being better at for you, too." Sebastian's mouth curved up slightly but his face was contrite. Helena looked over at her daughter with a slight, grave nod.

Kenny barely seemed to register his mother's statement as he moved to hug his grandmother. "Did you like it? Joe missed his cue on the Quaker song!"

"No one noticed," his grandmother said indulgently. "I loved it." Then she pushed him towards Sebastian and Blaine with firm instruction. "Kenny, there is someone you haven't met before in the group. When you see that the first thing you do is introduce yourself and shake hands, or that person may feel uncomfortable."

Blaine stepped towards Kenny and smiled warmly. "Hi Kenny," He bent down to be closer to Kenny's height and extended his hand. "I'm Blaine Anderson, a friend of Sebastian's. It's nice to meet you."

Sebastian leaned down and whispered in Kenny's ear, "He was a Warbler, too."

Blaine was then surprised when Kenny led him through the secret Warbler handshake. He looked up with a grin to Sebastian and said with mock indignation, "You taught him the Warbler handshake?!"

Sebastian shrugged. "We need breaks sometimes between pages of homework. We can just call him an honorary Warbler...or a mascot." He added with a smirk, "We can call him...'Mini-Warbler.'"

Kenny was studying Blaine's face. "You're in a lot of pictures on Sebastian's phone."

...

On the way home from the restaurant Sebastian was quiet. Blaine resisted the urge to talk about what had happened with the Washings - he had come to know when not to push.

When they got back to Roble Hall they changed clothes and Sebastian reluctantly pulled out a book. He sat down on his bed against his headboard with it and a notebook. Blaine, now fairly jetlagged, wrapped himself in a cozy throw and curled up next to him to nap, his head on Sebastian's lap, an arm and a leg thrown over Sebastian's lower body.

That lasted about five minutes before Sebastian put the book down and looked down at Blaine with trepidation.

He finally slid down to spoon Blaine, rolling him over gently and wrapping a long arm around his chest, pushing his hips against the comfort of Blaine's rear end and by some feat of physics, somehow locking in his long legs almost perfectly behind Blaine's shorter ones. He took a deep breath, distractedly pressing a kiss to Blaine's neck but not saying a word.

Blaine was about to turn around but Sebastian shifted to hold him even more tightly, a tear dropping down his cheek that he thought might turn into a pointless flood if he let himself look into Blaine's worried eyes.

After another minute Blaine finally spoke up, sensing he would need to actually coax it out of him this time. "So maybe some of what's been bothering you has been about your mom…" he said in a gentle, deliberate tone.

Sebastian buried his cheek in Blaine's hair, cleared his throat and swallowed, looking grave and thoughtful. "She was busy getting her career going," he said flatly, closing his eyes, remembering the highlights of her hair when she was younger, her penchant for long skirts. "She was pissed at my dad and looking for someone that he never was. Hard to blame her."

Blaine nodded and said softly, "Sure it's hard to blame her now, but when you were little it was hard to understand."

Sebastian tried to remember if he understood at the time. It was a blurry time to recall: a new school uniform, the empty new house, the stern new au pair who was kind enough but who wasn't Teresa. A few more hot tears dripped off Sebastian's nose and he wiped them into Blaine's hair.

He was silent for a full minute before Blaine whispered, "It's okay, baby. Let it go."

Sebastian wasn't sure if Blaine was saying he should let go of his resentment or if he should unleash his tears but in a moment more his broad chest gave a few telltale shakes against Blaine's back and Sebastian's face was completely buried in Blaine's hair.

He wasn't sure how long they lay there like that.

"It's so stupid," Sebastian said with frustrated sniff, finally lifting his face so he could grope into Blaine's fleece pants pocket for a handkerchief. "It was a decade ago. Why do our brains hold on to all this shit?"

"Our brains don't, but our hearts do," Blaine said as he turned around at last and cradled Sebastian's face in his hands. "I'd be worried if your heart hadn't remembered," he said, brushing a tear off Sebastian's cheek before giving it a tender kiss.

Sebastian took a deep breath and kissed Blaine with intensity: drinking in strength, pressing with gratitude, searching for everything he needed. When they came up for air he looked thoughtfully into Blaine's eyes until his sense of humor saved him once again. He brought the handkerchief to wipe his nose again and let out a little snort. "Kenny actually seems pretty fine with it all, I can't believe I took all my crap and put it on him." He took his arm off of of Blaine and combed his hand through his hair.

Blaine didn't smile, but he gently reached up for Sebastian's hand and put it on his own chest, pushing the long fingers between the buttons of his polo, right over Blaine's heart. "You were worried for him. It happens when you love someone. You made a mistake, because you love Kenny and you got anxious. Angelina understands that. I think Helena does, too."

"If she does it's because of you," Sebastian said, looking with fondness into the hazel eyes. After a pause he leaned to kiss Blaine's forehead and then let his head fall back on the pillow with a thump, his eyes half open and looking exhausted.

"Take a nap with me, baby, okay? Blaine snuggled his head onto Sebastian's chest, wrapped his arm more tightly around him and rubbed soothing circles on his back. "You're going to feel so much lighter and freer after you rest a little, I promise you."

Sebastian's eyes were completely closed already and he groaned. "You act as if I had a choice. Christ, if I had known I was going to cry today I would have carb loaded last night."

…

[Hear an encore of "Wonderland" by Rachel Fuller on our "I'm Gonna Miss You Too" YouTube playlist or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]

 _Eat me, drink me, win me, lose me_  
_Either way you have to choose me_  
_Eat me, drink me, love me, hate me_  
_Either way you can't escape me_

 _I will hold you, I will catch you_  
_When you feel like you're falling_  
_When you feel like you're falling_

 _I'll be near you, I will hear you_  
_When you are calling_  
_When you are calling_

Blaine woke with a smile to "their song" playing on Sebastian's IPad alarm clock. His smile grew even sweeter when he found on the pillow next to him a small gorgeous sheet of gold-embellished, Florentine stationary that matched the set Sebastian sent Blaine during fall quarter. The note was written in Sebastian's best penmanship (which Blaine saw extremely rarely) and weighted onto the pillow with Blaine's favorite truffle:

_Killer,_

_We're overdue for our official first date, dinner and dancing. We must go up to the city for it of course, so I went to get the car detailed - I'll be back by six. Make sure you have your bag packed for Napa and wear a suit if you have one. And not too much gel, you know how I like it._

_Yours,_

_Seb_

…

A knock sounded at the door and Blaine strode quickly to answer it, beaming. He opened it and let out a little gasp at the sight of Sebastian in an impeccably tailored gray Armani suit, holding a bouquet of Calla lillies and roses.

But when he looked more closely he saw that Sebastian's face was a little disturbed. "What's wrong?" he asked, taking the flowers from him and kissing him on the cheek. "These are beautiful, thank you."

"Ugh," sighed Sebastian, entering to reach in a small cupboard for a vase. "I don't even want to talk about it, I just want to drive and pretend it's not happening and just get up to the city and into the restaurant and we can forget about what's wrong. Is your overnight bag ready?" He quickly put the flowers in water and went to his bedroom to get the bags.

Blaine decided not to press for an answer. But when they got out to the curb and he started to roll his suitcase across the street towards the parking lot, but Sebastian pulled on his arm to stop him. "No. THIS is what is wrong."

He pointed at a white cargo van parked at the curb.

Blaine looked at him in surprise, and then his mind made a few leaps and he bit his lip. "Oh...so are we driving in this?"

"Yes," groused Sebastian, pulling a key fob out of his pocket and unlocking the doors. "The car detail guys ruined my car - they dumped some toxic cleaning shit all over part of the engine." He yanked open the back door and loaded the luggage angrily. "Then, of course there are no rental cars are available because of some massive company meeting in town and there's no time to go to an airport rental agency or we're going to miss our dinner reservation. It's like I have a rental car curse or something." He came around to an astounded and still mirthful Blaine and opened the passenger door for him. "So here it is, your Soccer Mom chariot awaits our first date," he concluded wryly.

Blaine didn't get in, choosing instead to wrap his arms around Sebastian's neck and deliver a soothing kiss to his cheek. "I don't care what we ride in, sweetie," he said, nosing at Sebastian's neck next. "It's okay...this is just one little thing."

"We look like a pair of delivery guys," Sebastian whined like a little boy but got some comfort by pressing his cheek against Blaine's.

"Best dressed delivery guys, ever…" Blaine whispered in his ear before pulling back to give him a reassuring smile. "Right? You were so upset you didn't even comment on my outfit." He preened, smoothing his suit of the darkest maroon and his black bowtie.

"You look perfect," Sebastian breathed, his eyes softening. He leaned down and kissed Blaine, hot and sweet. "Mmm...and you taste perfect." He pouted one more time, "I just wanted everything else to be perfect, too."

Blaine coaxed him into another kiss. "It IS perfect," he hummed against his lips, his hand reaching down to caress Sebastian's ass, "because that van is big enough for us to fit a mattress in…"

"Are you saying you're going to put out on the first date?" Sebastian said, a real smile finally gracing his elegant face.

"Maybe. But I think it's good that you came prepared, just case," Blaine said saucily, kissing him again.

Sebastian smiled at him and marveled at how quickly Blaine could lift his mood. "Okay, then. Hop in, my hot little boy scout. I promise everything else tonight will be perfect."

…

_CLOSED - KITCHEN FIRE - DESOLE!_

"Are you kidding me?" Sebastian gaped. "Fucking hell!" he cursed, letting go of Blaine's hand to run his own through his hair as he pivoted and slid on his expensive shoe leather across the pavement in disgust.

Blaine's eyes were wide and worried as he watched Sebastian seething. "It's okay, Bas...it's okay, baby... there are million other places to eat in the city. Aaaand…" he said, looking at his watch and leading Sebastian towards a food truck on the next corner, "I think we need to eat that one, right now. You need to eat, Mr. Hypoglycemic, before you get more bent out of shape than you already are. You need to eat, I want to eat, and this..." he said as they came up to the aluminum paneled vehicle, smells delicious."

"No, No..." Sebastian mourned, as Blaine had ordered two steak burritos and two sodas. They walked up Grant Avenue and down Union towards where Blaine had spied Washington Square Park. "But that place," Sebastian groaned and jerked his thumb back from whence they came, "It's supposed to actually be like Paris circa 1945 inside...There's a French grandma named Jacqueline that hand-makes a chocolate souffle the size of a basketball in the back while you have a three hour dinner with incredible wine...I've been waiting for you to come to go there..."

"That sounds wonderful, and it will be wonderful another time...anyway, we're going to the real Paris in two weeks," Blaine said cheerfully, slipping his arm around Sebastian and giving his waist a squeeze.

"But it's our first date," Sebastian said, as he shook his head ruefully. "I promised you that everything else would be perfect tonight." They walked for a minute more and his face darkened as a thought occurred to him. "You took Hummel to Pasqualone's on your first date, didn't you?"

"Ruth's Chris Steakhouse," Blaine said apologetically, looking down at his shoes.

Sebastian took some small comfort that Klaine had gone to a chain restaurant on their first date, even if it was a five star one. "I always thought that if I could steal you away from Hummel that I would take you to Pasqualone's," Sebastian grumbled. "And now our first date is at a stinking taco truck."

Blaine stopped talking and put his arms around Sebastian and hugged him. "No, our first date is going to be at a park, just like we talked about in one of our date stories. It's not Golden Gate Park and they aren't playing old movies for us, but it's still romantic because we're under the stars and I'm with you," Blaine said, rubbing Sebastian's back and leaning up for a quick kiss.

They walked a little further in silence and Blaine looked up a Sebastian with a knowing glance. "It's gonna be alright you know. I always have a good time with you. It doesn't matter when, it's always a good time. It doesn't matter where…" He stopped them and hip checked Sebastian, earning him a raised eyebrow. "It's always a good time…"

Sebastian rolled his eyes and kept walking. "The world is not your Owl City music video, Anderson."

Blaine looked impish as he started hum, adding a spring to his step:

[Hear "Good Time" by Owl City and Carly Rae Jepson on our "I'm Gonna Miss You Too" YouTube playlist or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]

 _Hmm,mm..._  
_Woah-oh-oh-oh.._.  
_It's always a good time_

Blaine grinned at him and sang, swatting Sebastian's backside.

_Woah-oh-oh-oh_

Sebastian groaned and said,

"It's always a good time."

Blaine started dancing in circles around Sebastian, who crossed his arms even as his lips twitched. The hazel eyes sparkled as Blaine continued:

 _Woke up on the right side of the bed_  
_What's up with this Prince song inside my head?_

Blaine waggled his eyebrows at Sebastian, who couldn't stop himself from smirking at the very appropriate lyric.

_Hands up if you're down to get down tonight_

Sebastian raised his hands in defeat and hummed with an indulgent smile:

_Hmm,mm_

Passersby stared but Blaine didn't care as he kept singing as Sebastian picked up the pace and shot them dirty looks in return:

 _Cuz it's always a good time._  
_Slept in all my clothes like I didn't care_  
_Hopped into a cab, take me anywhere_  
_I'm in if you're down to get down tonight_  
_It's always a good time!_

Sebastian sang the next line with his hands in his pockets, strolling with dramatically graceful steps to contrast with Blaine jumping up and down around him:

 _Good morning and goodnight_  
_I wake up at twilight_

_BLAINE_

_It's gonna be alright_  
_We don't even have to try_  
_It's always a good time_

They hooked arms as they sang the chorus together and ran to reach a park bench, two stepping around it together:

 _Woah-oh-oh-oh_  
_Woah-oh-oh-oh_  
_Woah-oh-oh-oh_

_It's always a good time_

Blaine danced on the bench, holding Sebastian's hand as he paraded around his spritely companion, feeling like he was seven years old again.

 _Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh_  
_We don't even have to try, it's always a good time..._

...

"I'm sorry but ruining my favorite suit does not qualify as a good time!" Sebastian yelled through the pouring rain as they finally reached the cargo van.

They climbed into the van and Blaine was laughing and out of breath. "Come on Seb, this qualifies as the best night of Murphy's Law we've ever had! I mean what are the odds that rooftop dancing in California in May would end in a surprise shower?!"

Sebastian turned on the van to turn the overhead lights on. "It's like we're characters in a bad romance where the writer hates us," he grumbled, slicking back his wet hair as he climbed into the back of the van to get at the suitcases. "And if you start singing Gaga right now I'm going to dump you out these back doors and drive off without you," he threatened as he unzipped his suitcase.

Blaine turned the heat on before he turned to follow Sebastian into the back of the van. When he got between the front seats he was treated with the sight of Sebastian on his knees on the floor of the van, jacket gone, impressive muscles prominent through the now transparent dress shirt. "The writer and God loves me because what's a better time than seeing you in a wet, see-through shirt?"

Sebastian paused amidst his frustrated dig through his Tumi and finally chuckled at him as he pulled out a beach towel. "You like what you see, eh Killer? What if it's 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service'?"

"You don't even care how cliché innuendo sounds coming out of your mouth going on three years later, do you?" Blaine asked with a fond smile as he crouched forward and moved towards the back of the van, removing his own suit jacket.

Sebastian started unbuttoning his cuffs and grinned. "Nope, it's not old until the 'oh my god you're even hotter when you talk like that' cartoon bubble stops appearing above your head after I make my innuendos."

Blaine smirked and knelt between Sebastian and the suitcase with a glimmer in his eye. He nibbled at Sebastian's neck, gripping his lover's waist before lowering his head to suck at Sebastian's nipple through the fine white cotton. Then he reached to finish unbuttoning the wet shirt and captured Sebastian's lips in a kiss that warmed them both up instantly, spreading heat in all the right places. "Shut up, you conceited thing."

"Mmm," Sebastian grunted against his lips as the shirt came off and Blaine's hands roamed hungrily about his chest and back. He palmed Blaine's ass as he nipped at Blaine's lips teasingly. "Why _didn't_ we put a mattress back here?"

"Because we're not hippies from the 60's," Blaine smiled, kissing Sebastian's shoulder and bicep before swatting his hands off his ass. "Don't go past the point of no return," he warned. "I'm not getting naked in the back of a van. Who knows how well they clean these things or what has ever happened back here?"

"You get a good grope but I don't? No fair," Sebastian griped before getting distracted while untying Blaine's bowtie. "I love untying these, you are the best present ever," he murmured. Then he snuck a grope at Blaine's ass again for a few more seconds. "There, turnabout is fair play," he smirked.

"My gropes are far less dangerous than yours," Blaine said with a chuckle, tickling Sebastian's abs with one hand as he used the other to pull Sebastian's old Dalton lacrosse hoodie from his own suitcase.

"Hey!" Sebastian turned to grab Blaine and throw him down on the open suitcases, tickling back until Blaine was crying for mercy.

When Sebastian finally let up, they were both gasping for breath. "Best. First date. Ever," Blaine said with a merry laugh. "Now get off me, there's a shoe in my back!"

...

When they were dressed and on their way to Napa, they fell into comfortable silence. Blaine was getting tired from his jetlag and they played music as they started their way through the city towards the Golden Gate Bridge. With Ed Sheeran for a soundtrack, Sebastian found himself thinking about the events of the day: his talk with Blaine in bed that morning about his career; the run-in with Helena; Blaine talking about music with Kenny at lunch and making the little boy laugh; Angelina's resigned unhappiness about her job and how long it would take for her to save the money to buy Kenny a piano; the logistical failure of his first official date with Blaine.

He reflected on how Blaine managed through the day, how engaged Blaine remained with the mess of Sebastian's heart and mind, how comforting and selfless he was with Sebastian's...everything, always. Sebastian's date plans had failed utterly and completely yet Blaine was the one working hardest to make the night fun anyway. Sebastian vowed to be happier for the rest of the weekend, his childhood trauma and career confusion be damned. Blaine deserved better, and it was time for Sebastian to start taking better care of him again and stop wallowing.

By the time he looked over again, Blaine had fallen asleep. The visual made Sebastian glance over more often, getting glimpses of the city lights flickering over the damp curls, that jawline, the lashes, the lips, the whole impossibly handsome face cuddled against the hood of the old Dalton hoodie. Sebastian felt a wave of emotions for his precious Blaine, who had traveled 5000 miles to make everything better.

After a few more minutes he scrolled to a song on the bluetooth interface of the BMW and sang along under his breath as he drove over the Golden Gate Bridge and up the 101 freeway towards California's wine country.

_[Hear "The Way I am" by Ingrid Michaelson on our "I'm Gonna Miss You Too" YouTube playlist or Spotify Playlist at play . spotify DOT com / user / sebastianandblaine]_

_If you were falling, then I would catch you._  
_You need a light, I'd find a match._  
_Cause I love the way you say good morning._  
_And you take me the way I am._

 _If you are chilly, here take my sweater._  
_Your head is aching, I'll make it better._  
_Cause I love the way you call me baby._  
_And you take me the way I am._

 _I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair._  
_Sew on patches to all you tear._  
_Cause I love you more than I could ever promise._  
_And you take me the way I am._

_You take me the way I am._

_You take me the way I am._

...

The next morning Sebastian awoke to warm lips pressing and moving on his, accompanied by his lover's velvety voice. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty...I've been fingering myself for at least 15 minutes...I'm so ready for you."

Blaine's breathy words went right to Sebastian's already half hard cock. "What, not enough hotel sex for you last night?" Sebastian murmured, smiling and kissing him sweetly. "Fuck, B," he added, his hips grinding upwards, "You're so insatiable...so hot."

It wasn't long before they were thoroughly entangled, increasingly slick and heated...hungry kisses, Blaine's tongue, Sebastian's lips, pushing, stroking, sliding...pounding hearts, moans and whispers... everywhere all at once...time standing still with them in the center of everything that mattered.

Sebastian was falling apart, eyes shut in ecstasy as Blaine mounted him, his tight, wet heat causing an unsurprising, involuntary thrust upwards.

Which is when they heard the sound of pounding at their door.

"HERR SMYTHE! Young Jay and I are here to meet your swain!"

Jay blue eyes grew wide in shock. "You said this was Charlie and Luis's room! Oh my god, Thomas, STOP!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it! Did you like it? Please review. FYI, and endnote for you, the book Blaine is reading at the start of the chapter is: Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, New York, Bantam Books, 1995
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the angst and fluff. :) Let me know what you liked and didn't like? How about that cliffhanger? :) Muchos gracias to Beta Readers Dori, Alyssa, Avani and Luke!


	39. Sneak Peek / Short-term Hiatus Note from the Author

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A note that I'm trying to convert Chapter 1-11 to submit to Interlude Press (where Sebastian and Blaine will be named Alexander and Blake!), so the current chapter remains half finished. :(

_Sneak peek for you though:_

Sebastian snagged a couple bottles of wine from the after party and snuck Blaine out immediately, going first to exchange the van for a Mercedes convertible to drive around the famed Napa Valley. They stopped to enjoy sweeping vistas of lush vineyards and had lunch at the ultra-posh Auberge du Soleil hotel and spa.

After lunch they visited the grounds of a winery Blaine’s parents had discovered and fallen in love with years before. While Blaine was in the restroom Sebastian wandered outside and found chairs set up for a wedding.

As he looked out on the stunning view he found himself weighing the gorgeous backdrop of vineyard covered hills against the Top of the Mark and Paris as a locale for a wedding proposal or a wedding one day...one day when he had made his first million at the company he and Rob would found down the road, when he had bought a majestic home in Tiburon for Blaine to compose music in as he looked out on the bay, a house with an expansive backyard that also had a view of the water from the lawn where their children would play. 

Blaine came up from behind him, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s waist and leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Wow, what a breathtaking place for a wedding."

Sebastian only answered with a kiss full of plans he'd never let himself dream of before.


	40. Chapters 1-39 Summary & Napa, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not very long for me but I wanted to get something out to you after so long. It sets up the next one mostly, but we get that Seblaine fluff I gave you as a sneak peek and we meet Jessica, Seb's dorm gossip played by Nina Dobrev from the Vampire Diaries. Pauline, played by Emily Bett Rickards, returns with sweet hagginess for Jay. Thomas, played by Tyler Gustin, is back for his usual dose of comedy. Hope you like it and that your memory is refreshed now! Please review and say hi, I want to update way more regularly again and hearing from you will help!

So...I took a hiatus to edit the beginning of this story for Interlude but I found out they don't want anything at all close to canon so I'll start an AU for them eventually, but for now I'm back to get back to these boys I've missed so much and it's been so long that I felt like I should give you, Glee style, a Here's What You Missed on _I'm Gonna Miss You, Too_ (remember this story assumes Glee canon until Blaine's McKinley graduation:

Kurt and Blaine cancelled their wedding because they didn't trust themselves to make such big vows because of the whole being-teenagers-and-never-dated-anyone-else-yet-thing. Blaine also realized he was trying too hard to be perfect and wanted some time to work on his not-making-his-whole-life-around- one-true-perfect-love-thing. They decided not to talk for awhile and see how things went.

Sebastian saw how broken Blaine was so he kept it in his pants and was just a good friend and helped Blaine apply for the best last minute program they could find because of the whole letting-go-of-the-NYADA-Klaine-dream-thing. Then Sebastian went to Stanford and Blaine to Scotland with Sam and Seblaine both had really hard Fall quarters and became the bestest of besties supporting each other through it. At Christmas they started having feels after Blaine saw Kurt again and realized he was getting over him and then Sebastian's dad deserted him at Christmas which made Sebastian super sad but he was also super brave and Blaine realized he was in love with Seb under a Christmas tree in the Town Square.

Seb of course has been in love the whole time so even though he was trying not to be the rebound guy. After a lot of near misses and Seb's virtual-twin Santana pushing too hard they still kissed New Year's Eve and didn't know what to do with that and Seblaine fought about it but Seb had planned a surprise early birthday party for Blaine so they made up and Seb's dad came back on that same last night of vacation and Dad was even more of an asshole and Blaine was all grateful about the party and proud of how Seb was dealing with dad and there were too many feels and they ended up kissing and having 93 rounds of sex before they had this weepy goodbye that made some readers want to poke their eyes out. They decided to not date because it might be too soon and they didn't want to ruin their chances of making it work by going too fast only a couple months after the Klaine of it all.

Winter quarter was a better quarter socially for both of them, Blaine started to relax and reach out to people more in his dorm like his Liam who is played by Starkid Dylan Saunders. Seb got a glee club hag named Karen (played by Starkid Lauren Lopez) who his roommate Rob (played by Starkid Joe Walker) was crushing on. Seb also got confused when he felt a spark with this cutie Colton Haynes faceclaim guy named Jay that their friend Thomas had been wanting to set him up with. Blaine got all jealous over this girl Jessica's gossip girl commentary on an innocent instagram from a Lake Tahoe weekend but he felt bad cause he does trust Sebastian and they talked it out, well at least Blaine's side of it because of the whole Seb-is-superbad-at-uncomfortable-feels-thing. But Blaine encouraged Seb to become friends with Jay so they did, Jay is a sweetie and none of you are allowed to hate him.

Then things got insanely busy with school and recruiting for Sebastian and he couldn't talk his stress out with Blaine and Sam also got super busy and Blaine ended up feeling isolated and alone so even though Seblaine thought they were ready to be each other's Valentines they ended up deciding to still not date so that Blaine could work more on his whole being-happy-while-being-alone thing and Sebastian could work on opening his cute mouth more and letting Blaine share in his troubles more.

Spring break was basically a fluff festival of hemming and hawing about if sex would make things better or worse and in the end, duh, they couldn't help themselves. Seb's roommate Rob and Sam made them admit that they were at least dating, even if they didn't want to use the "boyfriends" label, though. Oh and during Spring Break Blaine got into NYADA, which made Seb all detached and assholey cause he assumed Blaine would go there and get back with Kurt so they ended up fighting and Blaine yelled about being bitter about Sebastian and Jay's weekend selfies on Jay's Instagram. But then they made up because to Seb's relief he learned that a big fat fight didn't mean they break-up. Then Blaine got into UCLA and the celebrated by going to Disneyworld where they made out on the back of every ride and we got a wet t-shirt scene of Seb because Grant's pecs and abs are recurring guest-stars in this story like Blaine's butt on Glee.

Spring quarter was good for Blaine, he's got the lead in Grease for the school musical, but he's been trying to comfort Sam who has to say goodbye to his British girlfriend Mary. Seb's roommate Rob started dating Karen so they are happy and so were Seblaine when Blaine came to surprise Sebastian by being in the audience at college glee club nationals. Jay's ex Derek was douchier than ever and just when Jay thought they were going to get back together The Douche said "Nah, I'm gonna whore around, let's just have casual sex." Seb was there for Jay's broken heart and told the Douche off by text and blocked him on Jay's phone.

Seb let his dad talk him into giving law one shot so he took an internship at one of his dad's best friend's law firms in the Silicon Valley. It turns out Dad's friend Victor is actually a really cool guy and we learn that Seb's Dad has not always been a completely horrible monster and might not even be a completely evil now, so Seb's been like "WTF? Who are you and how do I feel about you I thought I hated you!"

Seb also got super depressed but didn't know why. Turns out when he started tutoring this kid Kenny, Kenny's mom reminded him of Seb's own mom but he didn't realize it until she was late for Kenny's concert and he bitched totally inappropriately about it and Blaine called him out on it and got to the bottom of it when he came to visit/take care of Seb even though Blaine was supposed to be going on a silent retreat to go work on his whole being-okay-alone thing.

Then they went on a funny first date where everything went wrong and Seb was all frustrated but Blaine just laughed at it all and they were super cute singing Owl City and Seb got all sappy and grateful as he watched Blaine sleep on their drive up to Napa where Seb's got a triathlon. Then they had some hotel sex and the next morning they started having some more but were interrupted by Seb's loud and crazy but well meaning German friend Thomas who tricked Jay into coming to meet Blaine.

And that's what you missed on I'm Gonna Miss You, Too!

…

Thomas gripped Jay's arm firmly to keep him from bolting. "There must be immediate side-by -side contrast of you and the Muppet and I knew you would protest..." He pounded loudly again with his other hand. "ARISE, SMIRKMEISTER!"

"WHAT is your obsession with me and Sebastian?!" Jay hissed as he struggled violently to escape. "HE'S TAKEN! I'm happy for him! And soon, I could be taken too! Paul and I are going out finally! Let me go!"

"Maybe if we're quiet they'll think we're still asleep," Sebastian panted, holding Blaine in place by the waist.

Blaine looked down, baffled that Sebastian could possibly think they were going to continue having sex after the interruption. "Are you kidding me?!"

"The long distance love succeeds so rarely," Thomas said dismissively to Jay as he pounded still harder.

"Let...GO!" Jay protested again as he finally managed to get free, only to be caught immediately again by Thomas's long arm clamping around his waist. "God, you lacrosse guys are so friggin strong - let me go! Even if you weren't on your insane mission, it's too early! It's one thing to wake up Charlie and Luis for a kidnap breakfast...but we've never met Blaine before, he'll think we're so obnoxious!"

"Pffft," scoffed Thomas, pounding so hard on the door that Jay could swear he could hear wood splitting. "He will thank us, there is no time too early on race day."

"GO THE FUCK AWAY!" Sebastian roared through the door, cursing every remotely positive thing he had ever said about Thomas.

It took a moment for Thomas and Jay to register why Sebastian might be sounding quite so enraged.

"Oh my god," Jay hissed, blushing and bolting down the hotel corridor, dragging Thomas with him.

Thomas was holding his side and laughing as he was dragged. "Ah, a break from masturbation for Herr Smythe!"

Blaine had pulled off and rolled off of Sebastian, flopping on his chest and burying his face in the pillow with embarrassment.

Sebastian exhaled a little at the silent response to his shout. He looked over to see the curly head face down and smirked a little. "Oh, c'mere babe," he said soothingly, rolling over and pressing his chest on Blaine's back to kiss his neck.

Blaine shook his head with a sigh. "Seb, stop, it's not going to happen...we barely had time as it was, we have to get up so you can get your bike ready and everything."

Sebastian furrowed his brow and looked at the Movado on his wrist from Blaine. "Fucking hell, I'm going to tear a new one into that German jackass."

…

"Hello, Beautiful!" Karen hugged Blaine on the shore. "You came 5000 miles to get up at O-Dark thirty and watch these maniacs dive into an ice cold lake? That's devotion, that's definitely devotion."

Blaine hugged her back, chortling, "Oh, it's almost four o'clock in the afternoon in Scotland. And if I get to see you and Rob, too...then it's worth it."

"Okay, Mister..." Rob teased, patting Blaine on the shoulder. "I have a bone to pick with you...all the time you're spending on Skype and email with my girlfriend is makin' me a little jealous..."

Karen's brown eyes sparkled as she separated from Blaine, purposefully keeping him in the circle of her arm. "Oh hush," she said to Rob, "How else am I going to learn the rest of Sebastian's dirty secrets?"

"Ohhhh…." Rob twisted his mouth as he considered this. "Well then please, by all means, continue….we need all the blackmail material we can get." He winked at Blaine, "But no getting handsy if you have a live download this weekend."

Blaine marvelled again at how much lighter and happier Rob was with Karen. He drew up both hands in the air and said with characteristic charm, "Not a chance…" he pointed at his own chest with a charming cock of his head. "One hundred percent, gold-star gay."

They stood on the shoreline, trying to track the movement of Charlie, Roger, Thomas, Jay, and Sebastian in the group of triathletes they were seeded with at the starting line. After he dropped Sebastian off and parked the van, Blaine had texted Rob and been introduced to the Roble and Stern Hall crowd. Rob, Karen, Pauline and a few others hooted and catcalled at the athletes, but Blaine was happy to quietly admire Sebastian's lean, muscled physique in his wet suit, made sexier by the intense expression in his green eyes. Blaine knew better than to try to wave or otherwise distract Sebastian at a competition.

Karen stood between Rob and himself at his right, but on his left Blaine heard another voice. "It takes an extreme level of sexy to look hot in a swim cap." It was Jessica, the Roble Hall gossip, looking thoughtful as she surveyed the athletes.

When Blaine gave her an amused smile, she gave him a vivacious one in return. "It was a tragic day fall quarter when the Roble straight girls got confirmation from Thomas that your man was not a part of the available lineup! I think there was a round of vodka shots to drown our sorrows!"

When Blaine's smile grew a little wider she continued with a studious tone. "I mean, Roger and Thomas are good-looking guys, but even if they hadn't put on the freaky goggles on too early, they still wouldn't be able to pull off the wetsuit and rubber cap. They looks like alien bowling pins! Charlie definitely can't do it either, cute as a button as he is when we can see his fluffy blond hair. But Jay and Sebastian...man they could wear paper grocery bags and still look hot," she concluded. Then her eyes widened a little and she added hastily, "Not that they would wear anything TOGETHER...because, of course, they are not a _THEY_ …" she faltered.

Blaine rescued her with a gentle, imperceptibly smug smile. "It's okay Jessica...I take it Sebastian said something to you about that Tahoe party instagram?"

Jessica blushed and looked uncomfortable. "Uh, yeah...well, he didn't tell me about you...he just told me not to write stuff about him online. It wasn't until later when I heard about you from Thomas and realized why he was so mad. 'Cause maybe you saw it and got jealous? And by the look on your face I'm guessing you did."

Blaine couldn't let her squirm like that. He nodded and shrugged with a small half smile. "Yeah, but it's okay..."

"Well I hope he told you that I didn't know that you...that he…"

Blaine nodded reassuringly. "Yes, I know you didn't know about me…and I'm sure you were just teasing."

Jessica looked relieved. "Yeah. Sebastian teases us about everything and anything, so...that's kind of our relationship," she said a bit awkwardly. She added hastily, "And I wasn't the only one who thought they could be a couple, people still ask if they are dating, all the time! You know, because they hang out all the time, Rob even calls Jay an honorary Roble-ite, since he and Karen are there more than they are in their own dorm…"

Blaine felt his stomach turn over but he kept a warm smile on his face. He felt perplexed that he was still weirded out by this...was he really that insecure? He was feeling so good about him and Sebastian, it didn't make sense...

Jessica was continuing rapidly. "But he and Jay always tell everyone about you and that they are just friends, and Sebastian yells at them sometimes for assuming that two gay guys can't hang out and without schtupping each other. And I agree! Just because they go to the gym together, train for the triathlon together, study together most of the time, get coffee constantly..."

"Right," Blaine saved her with another soothing smile, but he had to change the subject for both of their sakes. He swallowed and paused. "Anyway, it's nice that you came out here to support these guys."

"Thomas paid a senior on the team to buy an ocean of wine for an afterparty at some vineyard," Jessica gave him a relieved smile.

Blaine nodded and huffed out a chuckle. "I'm really looking forward to meeting this Thomas, he sounds like quite a character."

Then the starting gun went off and the crowd cheered and whooped. Blaine felt exhilaration for Sebastian as the music began to play and the mob of swimcapped athletes ran into the lake and began their swim.

_[Cue "Elevation" by U2 on our YouTube or Spotify Playlist, play . spotify user / sebastianandblaine (remove the spaces included in the address)]_

Blaine strained to track Sebastian, looking to find the bib number on his swim cap. He couldn't help but swell with pride when it was suddenly easy to find him - Sebastian had quickly cut ahead of most of the pack. Blaine hollered and clapped for no rational reason - there was no way Sebastian could hear him. Then he smirked since he couldn't help but think that the morning's interruption was probably extra motivation for Sebastian to best Thomas in the race.

_High, higher than the sun_  
_You shoot me from a gun_  
_I need you to elevate me here_

_At the corner of your lips_  
_As the orbit of your hips_  
_Eclipse, you elevate my_

_Soul I've got no self control_  
_Been living like a mole now_  
_Going down, excavation_

_I and I in the sky_  
_You make me feel like I can fly_  
_So high, elevation_

_A star lit up like a cigar_  
_Strung out like a guitar_  
_Maybe you can educate my mind_  
_Explain all these controls_

_Can't sing but I've got soul  
The goal is elevation..._

"This is so inspiring," Karen remarked as they moved to where the swimmers would emerge, "Everyone here has been training for months, they all set this crazy goal and here they are all finally DOING it...the energy here is amazing. I still can't believe Roger and Jay squeezed in training during baseball season, even if they aren't starting players."

At the mention of Jay, Blaine regrettably felt his heart twist a bit. He felt foolish, it was ridiculous. Sebastian couldn't be more devoted and had done nothing to worry about from a rational point of view. Sure, Jay was incredibly attractive and sounded like a great guy who spent a lot of time with Sebastian...

Blaine looked away, his face suddenly astute. That was just it. It wasn't that he didn't trust Sebastian, he was simply envious that Jay got to spend all that time with him while Blaine couldn't. That wasn't Jay's fault or Sebastian's.

And it wasn't their fault that Blaine found it baffling sometimes that Sebastian was going through the bother of a long-distance relationship with Blaine when someone perfectly good to date was right there with him almost everyday. And it wasn't their fault that in the scenario where Blaine and Sebastian couldn't make their relationship work, Jay appeared to be a perfectly good alternative, right there, next in line, to make Sebastian just as happy, maybe happier since they wouldn't have distance to navigate.

Yes, that is what made Blaine's skin crawl. But none of that was Jay's fault.

These were irrational, pointless thoughts. Sebastian had love for Blaine, even if maybe it wasn't enough for him to say it yet. And Blaine had to have faith that Sebastian's love would keep growing, and that he and Sebastian could make things work in the long term.

Blaine redirected his mind off of all of this as they waited, asking Karen and Rob about their lives and getting a few amusing stories about Sebastian. He also filled them in, albeit a bit vaguely, about the day prior. Rob and Karen didn't press, knowing Blaine did not want to betray any confidences, but they seemed reassured that Sebastian was doing better.

Less than 15 minutes later the earliest swimmers were emerging at a run out of the lake and Sebastian was in the pack, not far ahead of Thomas. Jay was a bit further behind, but several yards ahead of Roger and Charlie. Blaine felt a thrill when he saw Sebastian emerge, but felt a pang as he heard Luis yell and point out Jay, who, from Blaine's point of view, was literally chasing Sebastian up the lakeshore.

Blaine shook himself for being so ridiculous again. Karen started waving and yelling, "GO, SEBBBB!" Blaine chuckled at her. "Don't bother, he's not listening or going to notice you. He gets in a zone when he's competing."

As he captured video on his phone, Rob agreed. "True."

Sebastian was indeed looking intense as he ran up the lake shore breathing hard, while simultaneously removing his goggles, ripping his swim cap off, unzipping his wetsuit to the waist…and locking his green eyes with Blaine's...to wink and smirk at him.

Blaine burst into a huge cheer and blew a kiss, then yelled just as loudly, with surprisingly genuine enthusiasm, as Jay ran past as well.

…

Sebastian was floating on a running high of adrenaline as he made his way quickly through the crowd of other finishers and supporters towards Blaine, enveloping him in an exhilarated, sweaty hug and giving him a swift, loving kiss. "You're my lucky charm, Killer."

"Oh, Seb! You were amazing! Really amazing..." Blaine enthused proudly, practically jumping into Sebastian's arms to encircle his neck and kiss both of his cheeks exuberantly.

Sebastian was grinning widely in spite of aching muscles that made him want to lie down on the ground and pull Blaine down on top of him. "Man, but did you see all the 30-something guys who came in light years ahead of me?!"

Blaine loosened his grip a little to look at Sebastian sternly. "Oh my god, stop. Yes, welcome to another piece of the real world outside of Dalton and Ecole International where Sebastian Smythe doesn't come in first place in absolutely everything. I'm pretty sure those guys were in their mid to late twenties and are sponsored by Nike and Powerbar to train their brains out. You only had so many hours outside of school and glee club this quarter. What's important is that you beat your personal best and you beat Thomas, which were your goals...so be happy!" He added with a grin, "You avenged us for that cockblock this morning...you're my hero!"

"Yeah that'll teach that bastard to come between you and me..." Sebastian smirked and kissed him again, long and hard. As his tongue slid past Blaine's lips they enjoyed the odd but sexy taste of hard earned sweat and dizzying triumph. The noise of the crowd seemed to fade.

When they finally parted for air Blaine said breathlessly, "Oh, I was so excited to find you, I think I lost the rest of the group."

"I don't care," Sebastian said, kissing him again, quick and dirty as he palmed Blaine's ass. "I want my victory lap in bed, let's ditch them," he murmured.

Blaine smiled against his lips but he pulled back before they could get really into it again. He shook his head, feeling like they were in New York again. "It would be rude to just leave, Seb. Karen yelled herself hoarse for you, Rob was getting video of you the whole time - you need to thank them and everyone else for coming."

Sebastian cocked his head to one side and conceded with a slight nod and half smile, loosening his hold on Blaine reluctantly so he could crane his neck a little more easily and scan the crowd. Rob had already seen Sebastian's profile poking out a little higher than most of the heads and was glancing around tactfully, smiling benevolently as he awaited the end of his best friend's impromptu makeout session. It was good to see Sebastian happy again with Blaine.

After Sebastian finally locked eyes and exchanged small smiles with Rob he guided Blaine proudly towards his collected friends.

"Ah, the technical best in class," Thomas said grandly as Sebastian and Blaine reached them, arms around each other's waists. The German clapped Sebastian on the shoulder and said dramatically, "The Sneaky Smythe tripped me as we started, of course," he said with bravado, even as he gave a mischievous look and a respectful conceding nod to Sebastian.

Sebastian rolled his eyes but too happy to spar for once. "Blaine, I'm sorry to introduce you to Thomas Muller, but here's Jay Baker, Roger Kempkes and Charlie Hart to make up for it," Sebastian said, gesturing at his fellow triathletes in turn.

Blaine smiled widely at all of them, with a friendly nod. "It's great to meet you all, I've heard so much about all of you."

"Huh," Roger said, smirking. "Yet we can't get anything about you from him..."

Jay smiled amiably and chimed in, "But we know you're important!"

Blaine met Jay's blue eyes gratefully. "I know you guys are important too," he said warmly before he looked back over at Roger. "So don't worry, he hasn't said anything TOO bad," he added with a charming smile.

"Lies, lies, lies…" Thomas said briskly, "But your decorum is appreciated."

"Better manners than the rest of you," Karen said, slipping past the others to give Sebastian a little hug. "I'm so happy for you, you did so good, Seb!"

Sebastian ruffled her hair and glanced down at her fondly. "What else did you expect, Kewpie?"

Blaine happened to notice Jessica looking a little resentfully at Karen and Sebastian's affectionate banter.

Rob whispered, "Jessica tried a little too hard to become Sebastian's best gal pal...Karen did it so naturally and she doesn't even live in our dorm."

"Glee clubs will do that," Blaine said wisely.

Sebastian looked at the other triathletes, "How'd you guys do? Beyond losing miserably to me, that is. Anyone PR?"

Blaine looked a little puzzled and Rob said quietly,"Personal Record, it's apparently a triathlon verb, he's asking if they did a personal best time."

As the competitors swapped race stories Blaine looked around the group with friendly interest as he half-listened to the technical details he didn't really understand. He was glad to finally see, in-person, more of the most significant people in Sebastian's campus life. His glance landed on Jay for a moment - he was definitely handsomer in person. He studied Roger next - he was shorter than he thought he would be. Charlie and Thomas were taller than he expected and Thomas had a sweeter smile than he imagined.

When the triathletes' stories died down Rob lifted his chin at Sebastian. "Were the hills as bad as you thought they might be?"

Sebastian shook his head. "I must admit Thomas the Skank Engine here gave us pretty good simulation on his training routes...so no big surprises."

Blaine thought about their big surprise this morning and smirked, looking away from the group to avoid Jay and Thomas's eyes.

…

Sebastian snagged a couple bottles of wine from the after-party and snuck Blaine out immediately, going first to exchange the van for a Mercedes convertible to drive around the famed Napa Valley. They stopped to enjoy sweeping vistas of lush vineyards and had lunch at the ultra-posh Auberge du Soleil hotel and spa.

After lunch they visited the grounds of a winery Blaine's parents had discovered and fallen in love with years before. While Blaine was in the restroom Sebastian wandered outside and found chairs set up for a wedding.

As he looked out on the stunning view he found himself weighing the gorgeous backdrop of vineyard covered hills against the Top of the Mark and Paris as a locale for a wedding proposal or a wedding one day...one day when he had made his first million at the company he and Rob would found down the road, when he had bought a majestic home in Tiburon for Blaine to compose music in as he looked out on the bay, a house with an expansive backyard with a pool and a view of the water from the lawn where their children would play.

Blaine came up from behind him, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's waist and leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Wow, what a breathtaking place for a wedding."

Sebastian only answered with a kiss full of plans he'd never let himself dream of before.

...

"So of course you must be thinking twice about dinner tonight..." Jessica took another swig from her wine glass as she leaned against a tree in the hotel courtyard as the after-party wound down.

"Why?" Jay asked, look puzzled.

Jessica replied with a smirk, "Oh my god, Seb's boyfriend is sooo jealous of you. I saw him staring at you when Sebastian was asking you guys about your race times."

Jay was eating crackers and hummus but he stopped to narrow his eyes at her. "You're crazy, he has nothing to be jealous about. Sebastian and I are just friends and I'm sure Seb has told him that. Ugh, has Thomas been trying to get you to drink his Kool-aid?"

Jessica shook her head but looked at him eagerly. "No, do tell - what's his angle on the love triangle?"

Jay grimaced. "There is NO love triangle, Sebastian doesn't like me that way, never has, I don't think about him that way, either! So there is love only between two people in your triangle, which means there is no triangle, just a straight line between Seb and Blaine."

Jessica shrugged. "I was talking to him before the race and he brought up that Tahoe Instagram Sebastian read me the riot act about."

"You deserved that, you were so out of line," Jay said, looking even more stern.

"I didn't know Sebastian had a boyfriend!" Jessica said defensively. "Lordy, why is everyone still on my case about that! Even Blaine told me he figured I didn't know and that it was okay." She added smugly, "And he did say it made him jealous!"

Jay looked at her with real concern. "He did? But he can't still be…"

"All I know is, he was staring at you weirdly while you and Seb were talking. And when you guys stopped talking about race times, he was purposely avoiding looking in your direction…" Jessica said, nodding knowingly.

Jay shook his head, trying to not let himself get sucked in. "You're seeing things...Jess, you are going to get yourself in trouble again, just like you got Pauline and Roger to fight last week. And Seb will be WAY angrier than Roger."

"That was a misunderstanding! Anyway, I'm just trying to save you from an uncomfortable dinner tonight," Jessica replied. "Isn't Rob heading back tonight for some band thing? You guys all came together, I bet you could get Karen to leave early with you, she was hemming and hawing about missing that Stern trivia night tonight...the one her roommate organized."

Jay shook his head again. "Well you are misunderstanding again, Blaine has been nothing but really sweet to me."

"Sure, he ACTS nice. He's an actor after all," Jessica said shrewdly. "But you have to read between the lines…"

"Read between what lines?" Pauline asked, coming up to them.

"Nothing," muttered Jay, taking Pauline's arm and turning them away. He glanced back to give Jessica a warning look that was completely disregarded.

"If anything, do this for Sebastian! Don't ruin his perfect weekend with Dapper Dean Cain!" Jessica called out as she walked off to her hotel room.

Jay rolled his eyes. "You need your eyes checked!" he called back.

"What is she talking about?" Pauline asked, looking concerned at the consternation on Jay's face.

"Oh..." Jay gulped, looking uncomfortable. "I guess Blaine got jealous about that Tahoe instagram...you know the one of you and me and Roger and Seb in that pencilled-in mustache...the one Seb yelled at her about because she said we should be a couple or whatever? I guess she thinks Blaine is still jealous of me, she thought she saw him avoiding looking at me or something. But I think she's reading into things, he's been nothing but great to me."

"Oh," Pauline nodded. "Good, that's a relief, I'm glad he's not jealous anymore."

Jay looked her, baffled. "Why would he be? There is nothing going on with Sebastian and me. And Seb is so in love with Blaine that I wouldn't be surprised if he marries him some day."

Pauline looked wise and twisted her mouth to one side. She said slowly, "Well there doesn't have to be anything going on for him to be jealous. You're awesome and Seb loves you...even in a platonic way...that's enough to be jealous about."

Jay shook his head, "But Blaine doesn't even seem like the jealous type, from what Seb says about him..."

Pauline cocked her head at him. "Well we just established that he did get jealous before, about the Tahoe thing..."

Jay shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Ugh, I still feel like an idiot for hitting on Seb back then..."

"You didn't know about Blaine," Pauline replied soothingly, patting his arm. "There was nothing idiotic about that."

Jay exhaled, taking comfort in her support. "Well Blaine can't be jealous anymore, there's no reason to be. Like I said before, he was so nice this morning when we met. Jess thinks it was an act but I think she's insane. I don't get why she has to meddle, does she thinks it will make us like her more? It's doing the opposite!"

"She wants attention," Pauline replied, wrinkling her nose with some disgust. "But what did she say to support her jealousy theory, exactly?"

"Oh, she just thought she saw him staring at me weirdly when I wasn't looking, and that he was avoiding looking at me later. I'm sure she's reading into things," Jay said uneasily, glancing away with discomfort.

Pauline twisted her pretty mouth to one side. "Well that's all highly subjective...and what was she saying you should do for Sebastian?"

"She said not to go to dinner tonight, so I don't ruin their perfect weekend," Jay replied, looking hurt. "Do you really think Blaine could possibly be jealous after all this time, after their spring break and New York weekend and everything?"

"Not likely..." Pauline said, glancing away.

"But possibly?" Jay's blue eyes were worried.

Pauline replied slowly, and reasonably. "Jealousy is irrational, he might not even want to be jealous. But you could go to dinner and kill him with kindness...you know, talk about Paul or something, or about how stupid Sebastian is sometimes. Maybe that will stamp it out."

Jay looked at her with questioning eyes. "Wow, so you really think it's a real possibility that he's still jealous?"

"Maybe not a big one," Pauline said, an eyebrow arching as she considered the situation. "Like you said, he's seemed to like all of us just fine. But Jay, LOOK at you - you're gorgeous and lovely and you're one of Seb's best friends and you're gay. Maybe jealous isn't even the right word, Blaine could just be envious that you get to spend time with Seb when he can't. He can think you're a fantastic person and know that nothing is going on between you and Sebastian...but still be envious that you get to spend time with Seb when he can't."

Jay nodded slowly. "I guess so...I guess I was like that about some of Derek's gay friends in San Diego." He looked sad at the idea. "Well if there's even a small chance that me being there could make Blaine uncomfortable, then I won't go to dinner. I want their weekend to be perfect… Sebastian's been so down lately..."

Pauline squeezed his arm. "Yeah, he has. " She kissed his cheek. "You're a good friend to do that. Once Blaine moves to California and Sebastian is more back to normal you can figure out if anything Jess says is true and sort it out." She looked away again to think some more. "But how will you get out of it? Oh wait, isn't Rob going home early?"

"Yeah, and there's a Stern trivia night I could say I want to go to," Jay replied, looking determinedly at his watch. "I think I can catch Rob if I go pack now."

"Any wine left?" Sebastian called from across the courtyard, his arm around Blaine's waist as they walked in from the parking lot with a slightly dreamy look in their eyes. "Stupid question. Good thing I still have this," he said, pulling his hand from behind their backs and waving the last bottle lazily.

Pauline and Jay glanced at each other with a bit of apprehension before Pauline called out, "Good thing everyone else's gone or you'd be attacked for it," she called as Blaine and Sebastian approached them.

"Where is everyone?" Sebastian asked, his smile sweeter than Pauline had ever seen it.

"Either in the pool or napping the wine off," Pauline replied, yawning. "I'm off for a snooze myself."

"Yeah, we are too," Sebastian smirked. "Mmmhmmm, we're gonna NAP," he said, waggling his eyebrows at Blaine.

Blaine blushed red and smacked Sebastian's back. "Don't mind him, he's drunk on wine, I wouldn't drink any with him because I'm so jet lagged and such a lightweight - I knew it would knock me out and I would miss dinner with you guys."

"I'm not drunk," Sebastian objected. "I am however, very horny…"

"Stop it," Blaine said, smacking Sebastian harder. "You definitely need a nap," he said, chuckling at his sweetheart before looked over at Jay and Pauline. "So we'll see you at dinnertime. Do you want to ride with us? The convertible Mercedes we rented is so fun!"

Jay and Pauline looked a little apprehensively at each other. Pauline spoke up a little too casually, "Oh I'm sorry but we're going to miss dinner, we're going back early with Rob for trivia night at Stern."

Sebastian shook his head, "Nope, we just ran into Rob and he said he changed his mind. He decided to ditch the band so he can hang with Blaine." He wrinkled his nose as he added, "But they are probably going to be talkin' comic-nerd shit and Harry Potter all night, so be forewarned."

Jay's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, okay - that's great."

Sebastian looked at him oddly. "Why were you going back for trivia night? You said trivia nights are boring to you."

"Oh…" Jay's lips formed a tentative pink 'o.' "I just wanted to support Megan."

Sebastian looked at him strangely again.

Blaine didn't notice Sebastian's expression as he said to Jay and Pauline, "Oh, well I'm glad you guys are staying. We'll knock on your doors and drive you, then?"

Pauline smiled at him a little glassily. "Sure, that sounds great."


	41. Napa Part II, More Victor, We Are Golden

Sebastian: Why were you lying?  
Jay: When?  
Sebastian: Meet me at the ice machine

Jay looked calm as he arrived at the ice machine where Sebastian was already waiting, his arms crossed and an ice bucket dangling from his long fingers.

"What?" Jay said calmly, hoping he could be convincing enough.

"Why were you lying back in the courtyard? Why did you want to leave early? I know it wasn't for a trivia night, you called those a snooze fests." Sebastian looked menacing as he continued. "It was The Douche, wasn't it? He emailed you from some other account."

Jay rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Give me some credit, even if he did I wouldn't be stupid enough to just leave you guys for him. I told you, I wanted to support Megan, she probably spent a lot of time organizing that trivia night."

Sebastian's eyes narrowed. "You told me Megan was bugging you. Stop digging yourself deeper." He shook his head and let out an exasperated sigh, glancing away. "Shit, it IS The Douche, he's back in town goddamn it...There's no other reason you would be hiding something from me..."

Jay shook his head vigorously and replied with frustration. "Megan was bugging me just because she thinks the Impressionists were hacks. It's nothing personal. And I swear to god it is not Derek." Suddenly his blue eyes looked tired. "Now if you're done interrogating me, I'm going to take a nap," he turned stiffly and started walking back to his room.

Sebastian looked exasperated and started following him. "Jay, come on, come back here, don't be mad..."

"I'm not mad, I'm just...tired.." Jay called mildly. "It's fine..."

Sebastian caught up with him and his eyes were apologetic, though still baffled and just a little bit hurt. He hadn't said as much, but after Blaine had arrived he had actually been looking forward to seeing Blaine and Jay get to know each other. "Look, I'm sorry I assumed it was the Douche...but I still don't get it, you've been talking about wanting to meet Blaine for forever and now you finally get to and...you were going to leave for Megan and a trivia night? It doesn't make any sense."

Jay glanced up and sighed, finally relenting because he realized Sebastian was going to eventually argue him into a corner. He walked them back to the ice machine and looked around to see if anyone else was about. "Fine, I wasn't going to go because Jessica said Blaine told her he got jealous about that Tahoe instagram she posted the night you and I met and she thinks he still is. She thought Blaine was looking at me weird and then avoiding looking at me later. I think he's been fine with me but she said he's an actor and he's just faking it..."

The green eyes were growing worried, so Jay reached to touch Sebastian's arm. "Hey, did you hear me? I think she's wrong, but on the off chance that she's right, I just thought I would not go to dinner. I didn't want to risk making your weekend anything less than perfect." His tone lilted a bit with sympathy. "You've been so bummed out lately and you're so happy now that he's here..."

Sebastian was still looking alarmed and uncrossed his arms, shaking Jay off hastily. "Well I'll just go make sure he knows there's absolutely nothing going on between us." His eyes darted away in a bit of panic. "Shit, I told him I was going to talk to you...maybe he thinks we're out here, like..." Sebastian's expression grew more intense and he rubbed his forehead. "...God I can't believe after all this time he would..." Then he shook himself and looked determined. "You know what, I'll just have to MAKE him believe me." He turned to leave.

Jay was trying to pull himself together and he stepped in Sebastian's way suddenly. "DON'T, don't, don't...I told you I think Jess is wrong. Blaine has been nothing but lovely to me, and you two look so happy together...Jess is wrong and I hate that she and I are ruining this for you. Don't ruin it for Blaine, too," he pleaded.

"He is a good actor though..." Sebastian said, looking doubtful and feeling at a loss. "If there's at least a small chance that he's still jealous, I have to make him see that he has no reason to be. Maybe you can come back to my room with me and talk to him..."

Jay looked thoughtful and took a big breath, shaking his head slowly. "You know what, no. Maybe there's a small chance that I'm wrong, but there's also a real chance that I'm right. And if I am and you bring it up it will just remind him of those bad feelings he had back when that Instagram posted and that will ruin his weekend. Just let's try to forget Jess said anything, okay? Don't stir the pot. If he's not jealous anymore, the weekend can still be perfect anyway. If you say something, we guarantee ruining it."

"But what if he is still jealous?"

"Talk to him then. And maybe we can minimize it by me sitting far away from you at dinner and leaving early with a stomach ache or something. But there's no point in talking about it unless you have to."

Sebastian still looked wary, tapping the ice bucket anxiously. "I guess. I mean, he should be okay about you and me being friends, right? Cause I said something dumb a long time ago to him about how two gay guys can't just be a friends...the 'When Harry Met Sally' thing..."

"Yes, I'm sure he's fine." Jay said firmly and reassuringly. "He was so nice to me. There was nothing fake about it. I can read people, you know that. I feel this in my gut when I am thinking clearly and not letting Jess or Pauline cloud my judgment..."

"Pauline knows?" Sebastian looked disturbed.

Jay's nose wrinkled and he looked abashed. "Yeah, I told her. She thought maybe I could go and kill him with kindness to prove Jess wrong,, but then we thought not going at all would be safer..."

"Kill him with kindness?" Sebastian looked a little confused.

"Just being so nice that he'd have to believe that I don't like you that way..."

"Oh," Sebastian nodded, looking thoughtful. "I always think of that was a way to slay your opponent, like to be over- the-top-nice in a situation where that gives you the upper hand..."

Jay shook his head. "No...I don't know maybe she was using the saying wrong, that's not what she meant..." Then his blue eyes widened and he looked up pleadingly, "But I really think Jess is just seeing what she wants to see, you know how much she likes drama." He looked back at Sebastian to ask reasonably, "Remember the mess she made for Pauline and Roger?"

Sebastian took a breath and nodded slowly. "Yeah... Well, okay if you really think she's wrong..."

Jay nodded back and bit his lip. "I do. That's why I didn't even want to talk about it with you." He added, looking disappointed, "I'm sorry I'm such a bad liar."

Sebastian took another deep breath but then managed a small smirk at the sight of Jay's sorrowful face. "Eh, it's fine, it comes in handy most of the time." He exhaled and straightened his posture, moving to fill the ice bucket. "Ok, you're right. Jess has a wild imagination, she's probably making shit up. No point in bringing up all that old stuff since you're probably right."

Jay nodded and looked relieved. "Yeah, she is. You look so happy with him..." He smiled warmly at Sebastian. "Don't let this ruin your weekend."

Sebastian felt a slight blush creep up the back of his neck and he ducked his head, adjusting the ice bucket. "Yeah…" he muttered. "Let's not let Jess ruin it."

Jay smiled and looked fondly at the unusual sight of an embarrassed Sebastian Smythe. He tactfully patted his friend on the back and turned to leave. "Okay, then, I'll see you in a bit."

…

"Bas, can you like, let me go a little?" Blaine asked under his breath. They were seated at the end of the sumptuous leather bench seating at the restaurant. "I have to cut my steak." He elbowed Sebastian lightly to get him to loosen the hold the long arms had around Blaine's waist.

"Oh, sorry," Sebastian muttered, looking equal parts guilty and tense. He removed one arm from the front of Blaine but his other arm remained tightly around Blaine's lower back. He leaned in press his lips to Blaine's cheek and to whisper urgently in his ear. "I just want you as close as possible."

Roger, Pauline and Luis were involved in a conversation so Blaine smiled at Sebastian and whispered, "Aw that's sweet...but...what's up with you? I thought you'd be hungrier...and you've been... quiet..." _and a little clingy_ , Blaine added to himself as he cut his food. Sebastian had barely stopped touching Blaine's hand or leg in the car, in spite of the fact he had been driving a stick shift in the rented Mercedes sports coupe.

Sebastian looked slightly uncomfortable and his reply was halting. "I don't know..." he said, taking a large forkful of tilapia into his mouth, then setting his fork down to pick up his glass of wine and take a gulp from it.

Blaine noticed how big Sebastian's sip was and puzzled at the one handed eating and drinking. Sebastian usually liked to focus on and savor his food. But he was maybe just really tired - he had run a triathlon that day, after all. Blaine imitated a particularly snooty wine steward they had met that day. "Easy there, that's fine wine to be savored, 'make sure you give it time to subtly tickle the palate,'" he teased.

Sebastian didn't smile. "Oh...yeah I guess I'm in a hurry to get through dinner...I'm just a little...tired...or...bored, I guess,"

Blaine's brow furrowed. The hazel eyes moved down the table thoughtfully. "Hmmm...well you know what, let's switch seats. We've gotten to have appetizers with these guys, but let's go to the other end of the table to eat the main course…" he pointed at where Jay, Karen, Rob and Thomas were sitting. He smiled at the idea and he stood up. Oh look, there's no one in the table next to ours so no one even has to move. Come on, you're never bored with Thomas!" He leaned over to speak to Pauline, pointing to end of the table. "We're just gonna circulate, eat at the other end of the table," he notified her with a smile.

Pauline looked over for a second and then her head whipped back when she saw who was seated at the other end of the table. Sebastian's mouth had opened slowly but he didn't know what to say. Before either could protest, Blaine was carrying their plates and cocking his head towards Jay and smiling at Sebastian, who stood up slowly.

Pauline looked at Sebastian sympathetically.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at her. "I can't believe he told you..." he mumbled.

Pauline shrugged and gave him a reassuring smile. "If Blaine wants to sit with him, it's probably fine!" she whispered.

"Or he's going to try to kill him with kindness," Sebastian muttered grimly as he walked away.

On the other end of the table Jessica leaned from behind Charlie and poked at Jay. "Incoming!"

Jay's eyebrows raised slightly at the sight of Blaine and a stiff looking Sebastian coming their way. He assumed a quick, welcoming smile and spoke through his teeth in a hiss to Jessica. "Stop it!"

As they reached the small table adjacent to the end of the long one, Blaine smiled brightly at Thomas, Jay, Karen and Rob. "Hallo, we're playing musical chairs," he said cheerfully. I haven't gotten to talk with you guys much, especially Thomas..."

Jay swallowed and looked tentatively at Sebastian, who still looked grim. They both wondered why Blaine hadn't mentioned Jay.

Rob was on his phone and Karen was helping Blaine settle the plates so they didn't notice Jay and Sebastian's expressions. Thomas, however, looked between the two unnerved parties with questioning eyes.

Rob looked up from his phone and said in his calm and friendly way, "Well you two are just the people to join this conversation, we were just trying to get Jay to join glee club."

Karen's attention returned to Rob and then she looked over to smile fondly at Sebastian, who was now sitting next to her. "Yes, we were telling them that as long as they are okay with a little dictatorship by you, it can be super-fun. And we could use him...have you ever heard Jay sing?" she asked.

Sebastian was seated by now and looking down intently at his plate, stabbing at his fish. One long arm was across the small table, his hand on Blaine's forearm. "No, I mean...I don't know, maybe?" he said absently, stuffing some food in his mouth and not even glancing up.

Jay jumped in, saying a bit nervously, "Oh, I'm not that great. Not like Blaine," he looked at Blaine and smiled a bit too brightly. "Sebastian showed me almost all your YouTube videos, you are so much better than I am."

Karen, Rob and Thomas looked at Jay oddly, not used to him gushing quite so much.

Blaine looked gratified, albeit a little thrown by Jay's enthusiastic fanboying. "Oh, that's nice of you to say...but...those were probably old high school glee club videos? Everyone sounded better with the voices I had backing me," he said modestly.

Thomas spoke up with a sly smile on his face. "Jay has a fine voice, he sang the karaoke one night. We should find one such bar here in Napa and you can sing side by side..." he said with smug satisfaction.

Jay and Sebastian shot death glares at him.

Rob was now surveying the tableau and biting his lip, his blue eyes a little concerned and just the tiniest bit amused.

Blaine looked at Sebastian, his eyes narrowed as he wondered why his sweetheart suddenly looked so stormy. "That sounds fun," he said, turning to Thomas. "Though I'm so jetlagged, I doubt my voice would be any good tonight..."

Sebastian's hand gripped Blaine's arm a little tighter and his foot slipped out of his loafer under the table and maneuvered it over onto the top of Blaine's foot. "You always sing like a dream, Killer..." he said in a distractingly sexy whisper.

Blaine eyes widened a little in surprise. He wouldn't have been surprised at Sebastian flirting with him openly for fun or trying to get him to squirm at a stuffier dinner, but this was...weird. He looked at Sebastian a little oddly again. "Aw, thanks babe..." he said softly, quirking an eyebrow at him and moving his foot away before patting Sebastian's hand dismissively.

Jay looked at Sebastian nervously and spoke up again. "I'm sure even your tired voice is better than mine. I mean, hearing you sing on that U2 song at your national competition your senior year...wow! And Sebastian says that you're starring in professional production of 'Grease' soon, right? I hope someone will film that and put it up online somewhere."

Sebastian glanced up and said with a slightly irritated voice, "It's a student production, Jay. It's in a major venue in Edinburgh but no one is getting paid to be in it."

Rob, Karen, Blaine and Thomas glanced at Sebastian with some surprise at his tone but Jay only blushed. "Oh right," he said nervously. "Of course...I just meant that it will be very...well produced. And it's only a matter of time before Blaine will be starring on Broadway...I mean his version of 'Beauty School Dropout' was such a knockout!"

Karen, Rob and Thomas looked at Jay gushing again, with varied degrees of puzzlement.

Blaine was smiling back at Jay. "You're so sweet. Well, I..." he wanted to say that the performance had been emotional because he had just broken up with Kurt, but he held his tongue for fear of upsetting Sebastian. "Well I still have a lot to learn...but I loved that song. And no, the school has a professional videographer who will film the show, but I can mail you a DVD. Oh and my roommate Sam will probably get a few amateur videos of a song or two up on YouTube before then."

"Oh, yes, that would be great!" Jay chirped.

Karen was looking astute and spoke up calmly, glancing at Rob wisely before she smiled at Blaine. "I want a DVD too.. Maybe it will give us some good ideas for Mixed Company," she looked over at Sebastian warily but chose not to address him. She turned to Thomas with a pointed look to end the conversation. "Anyway, Jay will have to join. We're going to be short on guys for the back row..."

"He's too short for the back row, and he'd better be able to dance better than how I've seen when we're out clubbing," Sebastian said with a noncommittal shrug, though he instantly wondered if he should have brought up the fact that he and Jay went dancing often.

Blaine looked at Sebastian with some irritation. Rob looked worriedly at Jay, but Jay didn't look offended - only a bit anxiously distracted.

"We should karaoke and see tonight," Thomas proclaimed, breaking the awkward silence and smiling broadly.

"We're going to the music festival tonight, remember?" Jay said sternly to Thomas.

Sebastian's hand held onto Blaine's arm tighter. "I think Blaine and I are going to turn in after dinner," he said, his foot now making its way up Blaine's pant leg.

Blaine jerked away from him under the table and looked at him questioningly. "We are?" he asked, looking at Sebastian oddly. "But the music festival..."

There was another awkward pause.

Blaine's brow furrowed and he spoke up after a quick glance at his watch. "Shoot, I'm sorry you guys, I just realized I said I would call my mom about something about now." He stood up and looked down at Sebastian. "Hey while I do that, do you mind bringing me my allergy medication from the car? I'm late taking it."

Sebastian stood up reluctantly and followed Blaine out.

Once they were outside Blaine pulled Sebastian aside. "I thought you were excited about the music festival? And are you and Jay okay? Did you get in a fight when you went to talk to him this afternoon?" The hazel eyes were puzzled. "You were a little mean to him back there..."

"No, I told you he said he hasn't talked to The Douche." Sebastian said coolly. "And I guess I'm just tired, i want to go back and get in bed with you." He pulled Blaine into his arms and pressed their lips urgently together, cupping Blaine's ass and tangling their tongues in heated passion.

Blaine jumped a little in surprise before he couldn't resist responding in kind. But when they came up for air he got his bearings again and looked up at Sebastian with an amused smile and a questioning glance. "You don't seem that tired...but can we at least finish dinner? My steak is getting cold..."

"Fine," Sebastian said, kissing the tip of Blaine's nose. "It's just I...only want to be with you..." Then he pushed into his lover's mouth again and started to massage Blaine's cock.

Blaine gently pushed Sebastian away. "Seb, not out here where people can see! I want to be with you too, but I'm hungry. And can you cool it with the footsie when we're with your friends?"

Sebastian looked a little uncomfortable. "Oh...sorry."

Blaine pulled back, his eyes narrowed. "Okay, you're... Are you okay? You're acting...weird."

"Because I want to go to bed with you? That's not weird, that's my normal..." Sebastian shrugged, trying to gain his composure again.

"But we talked this afternoon about how much fun the music festival was going to be..." Blaine said, shaking his head a little. "Seriously, did you and Jay fight? Is that why you don't want to go out and were being short with him? And he looked kind of...I don't know, is he always...so eager to please? Is he trying to make something up to you by being super nice to me?"

Sebastian shrugged again, but he was growing more and more visibly uncomfortable. "We didn't fight, B. And I don't know why he was being weird..." Then he added a bit impulsively as he started pulling at Blaine's hands, "and I don't care."

"Why not?" Blaine looked baffled. "He's one of your best friends here." He pushed Sebastian up against the wall of the restaurant, poking at his chest. "What gives? You're not telling me something. You know I know when you're lying. And I know Jay means a lot to you..."

"It's nothing..." Sebastian said, not relenting. "I'm just tired..." he tightened his arms around Blaine's waist.

Blaine reached down and pushed Sebastian's arms off his waist and crossed his own arms as he looked into Sebastian's eyes. "Uh-uh. Smythe, I'm onto you. I know you're tired, but there's more."

Sebastian finally gave in and his expression did actually look more tired suddenly. He glanced to the side, avoiding Blaine's steady gaze. There was a pause as Blaine waited for an explanation. Sebastian finally drew a big breath and decided to just find out the truth. "You know that Jay and I are just friends, right?"

Blaine nodded and looked puzzled. "Yes...is that what this is all about?"

Sebastian nodded slightly and then rolled his eyes. "Yeah...stupid Jessica. She was telling Jay she thought you were acting jealous today...that's why he wanted to leave before dinner and why he's being so over-the-top nice...he's worried you are and I guess he's...trying to make sure you know how much he likes you." He looked anxiously in Blaine's eyes and joined their hands, drawing them up his chest. "But there is NOTHING to be jealous of...there is NOTHING going on with me and Jay."

"I know, I know..." Blaine said reassuringly. Then he looked a bit puzzled, trying to remember what he could have done that might have made Jessica think that.

Sebastian looked relieved. "Good, because I would never want you to think that he..." The green eyes looked worried and guilty and he stumbled a bit going forward, hating how inept he felt. "That I...that I would think he's attractive or something..."

Blaine's brows furrowed. "Sebastian, come on - you don't think he's attractive? I think he's attractive," a little laugh bubbled up. "He's sweet and his cheekbones could cut glass...and his SMILE..." Blaine looked away, imagining it while Sebastian looked a little disturbed and held his hand up for him to stop. Blaine rolled his eyes and laughed a little. "Who would not think he's attractive?!"

"Well okay, but I just meant..." Sebastian glanced away, faltering again. "I try not to think about him that way..."

Blaine released one of Sebastian hands and reached up to cradle Sebastian's cheek. "Which I appreciate. But Baby...it's okay if you find him attractive...as long as you don't act on it." His glanced away himself at the thought, but then he returned his gaze to look bravely up. "Or as long as you just...tell me if you ever feel like you want to..."

"I'm never going to want to," Sebastian argued.

Blaine looked wise. "Seb...never say never...what if I..."

 _Got back together with Kurt,_ Sebastian's mind finished for him.

"...got run over by a bus?" Blaine asked, trying to lighten the mood. "Look, I don't like the idea of you being with anyone else, but that doesn't mean you have to..." he paused and looked away as he thought about Sebastian's behavior inside. His attention came back to Sebastian as he added, "Aw you're so cute, were you like trying to prove how committed you are to me with your footsie and all that?"

Sebastian didn't answer, and a faint blush was annoyingly creeping up his neck - it was horrifying, how stupid he felt.

Blaine saw it and his eyes softened more and he leaned up to kiss Sebastian's cheek affectionately and he slipped his arms around Sebastian's waist. "Aw baby, it's okay, you can find your friends attractive...I know you don't want to be with him like that...I really do. You don't have to prove anything to me...I trust you, and you've been nothing but devoted since..." Blaine stopped and wondered if Sebastian had slept around at Stanford before Christmas but hadn't told him. "You've been nothing but devoted. And I want you and Jay to be friends. You don't let that many people close to you, that's hard for you and it would be ridiculous to throw him away just because..." He shrugged and set his lips together in a straight line briefly before admitting, "Just because I'm envious that he gets to spend so much time with you."

Sebastian swallowed, looking troubled. "You are? Well then I shouldn't spend time with him."

"STOP," Blaine said, pulling Sebastian closer and laying his cheek on his shoulder. "No. That's just natural, it's okay if I feel that way, it's nothing big, I mean I'm envious of Rob and Karen, too... and Thomas and Roger and Pauline and everyone else who gets to spend more time with you than I do. If it really bothered me because...I don't know, if you were flirting with him too much or something, then I would tell you."

Sebastian looked guilty and didn't say anything.

Blaine smiled and huffed out a chuckle. "Hey, Mr. Extreme, I said if you flirt TOO MUCH. I didn't say you couldn't flirt with him at all. I just mean..." The hazel eyes look tentative for a moment, fearful even. He paused for a second before deciding to just go for it. "Well honestly I was thinking about arguments I used to get into with Kurt about you. I was always really careful not to do anything with you that would make Kurt feel like I was disrespecting what he and I had. But that's different with every person. Your baseline is different than mine. I am an affectionate person, but you...you flirt with trees...so it's okay if you flirt with him as much as you flirt with anyone else...just not so much that..." he glanced away and then looked back at Sebastian searchingly. "Do you know what I mean?"

Sebastian nodded gravely. "I think so."

Blaine looked relieved to not have to try to explain more. He took a deep breath and looked happier as he exhaled. "Okay, so can we go back in? Are you okay? The bottom line is, don't worry about me, I am happy to finally meet Jay and I want you to be friends and I don't think you're cheating on me and I think it's fine if you find him attractive." He reached up and patted Sebastian's chest playfully. "Because I know you won't act on it. Because I believe in you. And I believe in us. Do you believe in us?"

Sebastian nodded, feeling a little lost but relieved that a weight seemed to lift off his heart. He believed in Blaine, he felt safe that Blaine knew what to do. He leaned down to start kissing Blaine again with all the love and relief he was feeling, each kiss growing deeper and more ardent.

Blaine kissed him lovingly right back... until Sebastian's stomach growled.

...

The conversation ceased suddenly as Blaine and Sebastian were spotted returning to the table.

Jay relaxed a little as they sat down again when he noticed Sebastian looked less anxious.

"Hey you two," Karen said casually, "Jay was just telling us about this first year medical student he's going on a date with after finals...How was your official first date, by the way? Didn't you text me it was going to be last night? How was Cafe Jacqueline?"

Sebastian looked uncomfortable again and his face darkened.

"It was closed because of a kitchen fire," Blaine answered for him, with a soothing glance at Sebastian. "But we had this amazing Mexican food under the stars at a park nearby and then we went dancing outdoors on a rooftop..."

"Before it rained on us," Sebastian added darkly.

"Best. Date. Ever." Blaine firmly squeezing Sebastian's hand from across the table. He smiled kindly at Jay. "I hope you and your med student have as wonderful of a first date."

Jay's face softened with more relief and he shone with happiness at Blaine. "Aw, I can only hope so. Dancing in the rain...that's sounds really romantic..."

"It ruined my suit," Sebastian groused.

Jay grimaced at Sebastian. "Why do you have to be such a grumpy puss - Blaine loved it, that's what's important."

"Exactly," Blaine said warmly. "Is he such a perfectionist about every social outing he plans here?"

"Yes!" Jay said, laughing. "Like he pouts when a table isn't ready at the exact minute a reservation is made for?"

"Yes!" Blaine rolled his eyes. "Or how about when he sends the food back to the kitchen?!"

Jay gestured with frustration, his blue eyes sparkling. "It's so embarrassing! And he always picks the most expensive restaurant to eat at, even if it's for after basketball and none of us have showered yet!"

Blaine nodded and laughed. "I know, like sometimes you just want a burger, right?" he asked, his eyes gleaming.

Thomas was texting on his phone but he added, without looking up, "No, it must be a nineteen-dollar hamburger..."

Karen laughed and gave Rob a knowing look, before reaching over to rub Sebastian's lower back. Rob's blue eyes twinkled sympathetically at his roommate.

Sebastian was focusing on his food and shaking his head, but a smile was creeping onto his face.

...

Roger patted Sebastian's shoulder as the group walked out toward the music festival out in the Napa Town Square area. "Seb, you got something on your back..."

Sebastian twisted his head around to look. "Where?"

"Oh, no sorry those are just the whip marks! Made ya look!"

Most of the group burst into giggles, except Rob, Karen and Jay who just tried to repress smiles. Rob leaned over and said quietly, "Don't react, or they won't let up."

Sebastian gave him a slight nod but couldn't resist rolling his eyes at his favorite opponent in 1:1 basketball. "Bite me, Kempkes. You can't come up with anything better than that? Pauline has you..."

Pauline came up between her boyfriend and Sebastian, hooking her arm in Sebastian's. "Leave him alone, Roger," she said defensively. "There's nothing wrong with how well Sebastian treats his man. You could learn a few lessons from him. It wouldn't kill you to clean up for me and put on a nice shirt now and then for a dinner."

Sebastian stuck his lower lip out at Roger and gave him a haughty look as he gave Pauline's arm fond squeeze. The group hooted.

"Ooooh!"

"Seb's a better boyfriend than Roger!"

"But will Roger do it? Pauls might be the one in trouble!"

Sebastian tried to think of something else to say to change the subject for Pauline.

Pauline did it herself. "Oh Seb, speaking of cleaning up, did you happen to bring the manicure kit you borrowed from me? I need it back..."

Sebastian opened his mouth to reply but Pauline stopped him. "Oh wait, I'm sorry...maybe you need a bit longer. You need to get Blaine's permission to cut your toenails, yes?"

The group exploded in laughter and even Rob, Karen and Jay had to chuckle. Sebastian shook his head and hoped his light blush was not being noticed in everyone's hysterics. He let go of Pauline's arm and smacked her ass once before she scampered sideways to hide behind Jay.

 

"I'm gonna cut YOU..." Sebastian threatened, shoving Jay aside to get at Pauline. But Sebastian's mood soaring in spite of his words. It had been such a relief and pleasure to see Jay and Blaine getting along and it was so satisfactory to see Blaine fit in so easily. It felt like he hadn't had fun like this in a long time.

Blaine had been dancing up behind him, pulling at his arm and hugging Sebastian to his side, beginning to sing along with the live band they began to hear more clearly as they approached the festival:

_[ Cue "I Gotta Feeling" by Black Eyed Peas on our YouTube list - keywords I'm Gonna Miss You Too Soundtrack Seblaine or on our Spotify Playlist, play . spotify user / sebastianandblaine (remove the spaces)]_

[Blaine]

 _I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good good night_

_A feeling_

[Rob joined him on the next line, throwing his arm around Sebastian's shoulders:]

 _That tonight's gonna be a good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good good night_

_A feeling_

_That tonight's gonna be a good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good good night_

[Rob and Blaine were joined by Karen, Pauline and others in their crowd, dancing as they walked along to the next verse]:

 _Tonight's the night_  
_Let's live it up_  
_I got my money_  
_Let's spend it up_  
_Go out and smash it_

 _Like Oh My God_  
_Jump off that sofa_  
_Let's get get OFF_

[Karen]:  
_I know that we'll have a ball_  
_If we get down_  
_And go out_  
_And just lose it all_

 _I feel stressed out_  
_I wanna let it go_  
_Let's go way out spaced out_  
_And losing all control_

[Blaine]:  
_Fill up my cup_  
_Mazeltov_  
_Look at her dancing_  
_Just take it off_

[Sebastian joined in as they ran towards the festival]:  
_Let's paint the town_  
_We'll shut it down_  
_Let's burn the roof_  
_And then we'll do it again_

 _Let's Do it_  
_Let's Do it_  
_Let's Do it_  
_Let's Do it_

 _And do it_  
_And do it_

_Let's live it up_

_And do it_  
_And do it_  
_And do it do it do it_

_Let's do it and do it and do it_

_I gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good good night_  
_That tonight's gonna be a good good night_

...

"This is the worst Monday morning of all time..." Sebastian finally burst out as they pulled into the loading zone in front of the law firm building. He had been trying to keep himself together all morning since they woke up after just a few hours sleep at the Mark Hopkins Hotel, but he just couldn't hold it in any longer by the time they'd made it down to the office.

Blaine looked over sympathetically. "I know it feels like it..."

Sebastian put the BMW into park and hung his head, looking contrite. "Sorry - no weepy goodbyes."

Blaine leaned over and kissed his cheek. "It's okay babe, there's no getting around it - this magical weekend was way too short. But just two weeks and we'll be in Paris together..."

"Ugh, but finals first..." Sebastian groaned, getting out of the car.

Blaine noticed the coffee shop on the first level of building. "Maybe more coffee would help," he said soothingly, shutting the door on his side. "You said the coffee is good here, let's stop in and get some..."

Sebastian nodded, taking a deep breath and taking Blaine's hand before they stepped into the coffee shop.

"Hey Sebastian," they hadn't been in the line for a minute before they heard Victor Connelly's friendly, quiet voice behind them.

"Oh hey Victor," Sebastian said, a bit apprehensively. He still never felt very comfortable around his father's friend.

Victor and Blaine regarded each other and then turned to Sebastian, both looking expectant.

"Oh, sorry..." Sebastian shook himself. "Didn't get a lot of sleep this weekend," he said. "Victor, this is Blaine Anderson...Richard Anderson's son? He's been visiting me this weekend, we're on our way to the airport." As he watched Blaine shake hands and bestow a charming smile, he added with a little hesitation, "I...left a book here and Blaine wanted to see the office."

Blaine self-consciously patted the back of his hair down a bit.

[ ](http://imgur.com/AtS5Duo)

Victor finally spoke up in his politely genial way as he released Blaine's hand. "Ahhh, Blaine Anderson. I heard from Sebastian's father that you and Sebastian were dating. I went to school with your Uncle Willy," he said, his eyebrows lifting a bit.

Blaine swallowed, remembering the impression Uncle Willy made on most people. He schooled his expression to one of calm, friendly confidence. "Oh, I hope Uncle Willy is not the sole impression you have of my family. I love him, but I know he can be a bit..."

"Crazy?" Victor asked, cocking his head. He added with a smirk, "But let's just cut to the chase here, Blaine. What are your intentions with Sebastian?"

Blaine's mouth slowly dropped open. "Oh, well I..."

Sebastian shook his head, but a small smile had appeared on his face because he had noticed Victor's blue eyes had been twinkling a bit.

"I'm kidding!" Victor broke into an apologetic grin. "Oh man, I'm sorry...I was totally kidding."

Blaine blushed red and chuckled, "Oh, no...I'm the one who should be sorry...of course you're kidding! I'm sorry...I guess I just got nervous for a second."

Victor reached over and put a large, reassuring hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Yikes, I'm so sorry I scared you, I thought anyone who dated Sebastian must..."

Sebastian pulled Blaine by the waist and kissed the top of his head. "Must have a sense of humor," he said with chuckle. "But Blaine's sense of decorum overrides it in these situations."

Blaine was still pink but he smiled up at them and laughed at himself. "No, it's fine...I guess I just...well you're the first person from Sebastian's family that I've met besides his dad and Nina..."

"Ah..." Victor nodded his head sagely. "Well, Nina is the most important one...don't mind me," he said, looking apologetic again. "I was really glad to hear Sebastian was dating someone, and I really do think your Uncle Willy's a hoot...his Facebook posts are often the highlights of my days. And I think the world of your father, so I know you must be fantastic."

Blaine beamed back at him and Sebastian looked pleased, too. Blaine replied shyly, "Well I think Sebastian's fantastic..."

Victor looked at them for a moment, a doting smile appearing. "Hey you know I was talking to your dad about skipping Christmas this year and we were talking about taking a cruise in Greece. If you're not in Paris maybe you guys might join us?"

Sebastian stiffened a little. "Oh, I don't know..."

Blaine glanced at him but looked to Victor with a smile. "That's so nice of you invite us, Victor, but my family kind of makes a big deal out of Christmas, so I probably can't come..."

Victor nodded understandingly and then glanced over at Sebastian. But then his phone buzzed and he said politely, "Oh, I'm sorry guys, excuse me..." he pulled it from his pocket and glanced at it. "Shoot, I have to get upstairs. I guess I'll have to get my coffee later," he said with some regret, looking at the line in front of them.

"What's your order?" Blaine said. "We'll just get it for you and bring it up for you."

"I know it," Sebastian said. "Yeah, we'll do that," he said seriously, gesturing to shoo Victor upstairs.

"Oh man, you guys are the best. Thank you so much..." Victor said, looking grateful. He shook hands with Blaine. "Sebastian got himself a good one, indeed. It was great to meet you, Blaine. Give my best to your father and Uncle Willy next time you talk to them, okay?"

"Will do," Blaine said warmly.

"See you Thursday - I won't be in before then because of finals," Sebastian said, a grave expression on his face.

"Oh right, good luck with them then," Victor gave him a thoughtful look before leaving with a wave.

Blaine exhaled as they watched the senior attorney leave and he felt his face flush. "Oh my god, that was so embarrassing..."

Sebastian had been staring woodenly after Victor but he was stopped by the tone of Blaine's voice. His face grew sympathetic and he put his arms around Blaine comfortingly. "Oh," he chuckled. "You still rattled?" He kissed Blaine on the forehead, the nose and then sweetly on the lips as he sidestepped them in line. He put his arms back around Blaine and held him close, pressing his cheek against the flushed one. "You should know that anyone who could think you are anything less than flawless is an idiot, and I've told you, Victor Connolly is no idiot."

Blaine pouted. "I know, he's great... I don't know why I got so insecure…"

Sebastian kissed him chastely on the lips again. "You weren't...you just went into damage control mode, your looney Uncle rides again..." He pulled them closer again, his hands running reassuringly up and and down Blaine's back before he had to let go as they reached the front of the line. He paid for the coffee order and they stepped to the side to wait.

Blaine put his arms around Sebastian and buried his face in his shoulder before he pulling back to smile softly up, looking comforted. "Victor really is so nice...I'm so happy that you have him right here."

Sebastian looked suddenly bitter.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked, looking concerned, reaching up to cradle Sebastian's cheek.

"I don't know…" Sebastian confessed, looking irked. After a pause he finally said with frustration..."Victor just...tries too hard."

Blaine's eyebrows raised. "It didn't feel like that to me...he's so mellow...he's kind of like Rob that way…"

Sebastian bit his lower lip, thinking about it and looking away. "I don't know...I just...why did he invite us to CRUISE with them?" His green eyes looked annoyed. "I mean he's making a big assumption that my dad would even want to spend Christmas with me…"

Blaine's eyes dawned with comprehension. "Seb, I think you're bitter with your dad, not Victor."

Sebastian took a deep breath and considered this. "Hmmm, yeah maybe. I'm always bitter with my dad." He thought about his dad consciously for the first time in a few weeks and he started to stew.

Blaine tightened his grip on Sebastian and looked up tentatively. "Well don't take it out on Victor, it sounds like he really wants to be there for you…and the fact that he knows your dad well, that actually could help you understand your dad and build your relationship..."

Sebastian stiffened and he said darkly, "B, you're assuming I want a relationship with my dad...and what would Victor know about how I can deal with my dad being an asshole anyway, apparently my dad's fucking awesome to him AND his daughter…" he picked up two of the coffees and started walking out of the coffeeshop into the office building lobby.

Blaine's eyes widened and he swallowed thickly as he grabbed his coffee and followed him, several paces behind. "Oh Seb…Seb, wait...can we sit down?"

Sebastian elbowed the elevator button and tapped his foot. "Why, B? There's nothing to talk about it."

Blaine was stopped halfway to the elevator and he cocked his head back to the coffee shop. "Get back over here...baby, please."

Sebastian looked at the pleading puppy dog eyes and reluctantly came back over, setting the coffees on a small table, but he didn't sit down. "What?" he asked with a sigh, not at all wanting to talk, but teeming with...something.

Blaine put his coffee down and put his arms around Sebastian's waist and looked up at him with empathy. "Oh Bas, this is definitely what else has been bothering you these days, I hadn't thought about it this way before...you must...you didn't tell me your dad's been nice to Victor's daughter…"

"Oh yes," Sebastian said in a sarcastically sweet voice. "Took her to a Taylor Swift concert, even!"

Blaine's eyes widened. "What?" His eyes were shocked and his brain rushed to make sense of it all and he started thinking out loud. "God, hearing that...and all those other nice things Victor's been saying about him….that must be...throwing you. You probably don't even feel like you know who your father is anymore..."

Sebastian looked uncomfortable and he shrugged. "Eh, it's fine. So I know now he's a guy who was a barrel of laughs as a teenager and didn't actually want to go to Harvard...and he's a great friend and loves Victor's daughter…" he trailed off, his green eyes looking hurt.

Blaine stared up at him, his heart aching, and he said softly. "Yet he's an asshole to you…"

"And to my mom," Sebastian said bitterly, breaking away from Blaine and pacing into the lobby before turning back to Blaine, looking frustrated. "I don't get that! Even if they didn't work out as a couple, why can't he even treat her with respect? I know she probably wasn't a prize to be married to, either, but still...why is he so fucking great to Victor and Victor's kid but..." he added in a pained voice that trailed off again..."But not to the woman who... "

Blaine came over and joined their hands. "The woman who gave him you? And not to you?" he whispered, his heart breaking for Sebastian.

Sebastian's chin dropped ever so slightly towards his chest but his eyes gave Blaine the reluctant yes.

Blaine put his arms around Sebastian and hugged him tight. "Oh baby...I'm so sorry. I don't know what went down with your mom but I'm sure it's complicated. I mean from what you've told me she is just as passionate as your dad is, just in very different way. They created the beautiful creature that is Sebastian Smythe but they were probably too young and too different to figure out how to stay together long term. It's probably just hard for them to live with that…"

He thought about the situation more as he held Sebastian in silence for a moment. Finally he pulled back and looked up earnestly. "And of course it's easier for him with Victor and his daughter. Didn't you say the same thing about you and my dad? It's just easier for him to just talk about surface things with Victor's daughter. He wants so much more for you. But the fact that his best friend is so wonderful? That's a great thing, Seb - it means your dad is a nicer person than we thought...he is just so focused on trying to get you to be successful. But once you establish yourself more, hopefully he'll come around more."

Sebastian was still cynical as he looked down into the kind hazel eyes. "That's quite a fairytale ending you're spinning." He shrugged and let out a sigh. He pulled Blaine close, pressing his cheek onto the curly hair. "Why do I have to be the privileged one he is an asshole to…"

Blaine leaned up to kiss Sebastian's cheek and hugged him back hard, murmuring, "Because he loves you TOO much."

…

Sebastian had been working hard all day, the angst about his father pushed aside as grit and determination to get to through finals and get to Blaine took over. In spite of power naps, his green eyes were bleary by late Monday night, evidence of sleep sacrificed for hotel sex all weekend. As he stood up from his desk and walked into the living room to refill his water bottle and seek out a snack, his eyes landed on his Dalton lacrosse hoodie, folded neatly and sitting on the coffee table. Blaine had insisted on leaving it behind for finals week comfort. He suddenly missed Blaine so much that his chest hurt...Blaine, who had flown 5000 miles and missed his silent retreat to suss out all of Sebastian's angst from his stupid parents.

Rob was studying at the small table and he looked up, blue eyes concerned at the sadness on his roommate's face. Blaine had texted Rob from the airport:

 _BLAINE: We talked more today and I think I got to the last of what was bothering him...most of it was his parents, I think._  
_ROB: I think it's always gonna be his parents._

Rob spoke up quietly to his roommate, who looked like he was in a trance. "Hey. I'm beat, maybe we get a few hours sleep or we won't make it til the end of the week."

Sebastian shook himself finally, the pained expression on his face shifting into a neutral one. "Yeah, maybe."

That's when they heard the pounding of feet and the laughing of a boisterous crowd. They looked at each other with puzzled expressions and Rob stood up and went to the door with Sebastian. Every other door in the hall was open too, and at the end of the hall they saw Thomas, clad only in boxer shorts, jogging down the hall with a blue-tooth speaker on his head, leading a singing crowd of about 30 others all in boxer shorts, save a few girls also wearing camisoles and some of the guys in undershirts:

_[Listen to"We Are Golden" by MIKA on our YouTube list - keywords I'm Gonna Miss You Too Soundtrack Seblaine or on our Spotify Playlist, play . spotify user / sebastianandblaine (remove the spaces)]_

_Teenage dreams in a teenage circus_  
_Running around like a clown on purpose_  
_Who gives a damn about the family you come from?_  
_No givin' up when you're young and you want some_

Rob glanced at his watch and started to laugh. "It's midnight! 'The Running of the Bulls!' I forgot about that!"

Sebastian crossed his arms grimaced. "Great, just when I was thinking about sleep." He sat down again on the chair near the door

Rob leaned against the door jamb to watch the spectacle approach them with high amusement. "Hah, come on Bas, you gotta hand it to them for sheer nerve…"

 _Running around again_  
_(Running around again)_  
_Running from running_

 _Waking up in the midday sun_  
_What's to live for?_  
_You could see what I've done_  
_Staring at emotion_  
_In the light of day_  
_I was running from the things that you'd say_

Pauline's blonde head popped out from behind Thomas as the crowd arrived at their door, in a pink camisole and striped pink boxer shorts. "Not too late to join!" she said with an irresistible smile. Karen's face appeared next from the crowd and Rob's blue eyes widened.

"What?! I'm an honorary Roble-ite!" Karen sang out, with an impish smile, pulling up at Rob's shirt.

 _We are not what you think we are_  
_We are golden, we are golden_  
_We are not what you think we are_  
_We are golden, we are golden_

The music was deafening and it was getting to Sebastian... he finally cracked a smile, watching Karen strip the t-shirt off a surprised Rob in front of his eyes. He raised his eyebrows inquiry at his normally unassuming roommate.

Karen was now boldly unbuttoning Rob's jeans and Rob looked up and started to laugh again. "Who am I stop her?" he said to Sebastian, his hands in the air and his blue eyes dancing.

Sebastian smirked at him. "No objection here...you're nineteen, this is your official last year of being a teenage dream…"

[x](http://68.media.tumblr.com/863223c34133b5fcb704d58f35c17549/tumblr_msiw5gqdQE1qew1k2o1_250.gif)

Thomas shook his head at Sebastian, grinning from ear to ear. "Get your pants off before Jessica gets here!"

Sebastian laughed, his spirits rising with the music. Not to be outdone by Rob of all people, he stepped out into the hallway completely and stripped off his shirt, then pulled the drawstring of his sweats with dramatic flair, earning a huge cheer from the crowd.

 _Teenage dreams in a teenage circus_  
_Running around like a clown on purpose_  
_Who gives a damn about the family you come from?_  
_No giving up when you're young and you want some_

 _Running around again_  
_(Running around again)_  
_Running from running_

 _Running around again_  
_(Running around again)_  
_Running from running_

 _I was a boy at an open door_  
_Why you staring_  
_Do you still think that you know?_  
_Looking for treasure_

 _In the things that you threw_  
_Like a magpie_  
_I live for glitter, not you_

 _We are not what you think we are_  
_We are golden, we are golden_  
_We are not what you think we are_

 _We are golden, we are golden_  
_Teenage dreams in a teenage circus_  
_Running around like a clown on purpose_  
_Who gives a damn about the family you come from?_  
_No giving up when you're young and you want some_


	42. Farewell to Scotland, Paris Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blam say goodbye to Scotland and Mary. The long awaited Paris vacation begins but Seblaine run into some of Seb's past and it's not pretty. Sebangst/Seblaine comfort.

_To: Blaine Anderson_  
_From: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: June 4, 2014_  
_Subject: You've come a long way, Babe_

_\---------- Forwarded message ---------_

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: October 14, 2013  
_ _Subject: cancelling our call_

 _  
_ _Dear Seb,_

 _  
_ _I'm giving up on us trying to make the time zones work during the week. You are in your rehearsal right now so I'm going to email you instead of text you because I know you'll just get up and start Skype fighting with me about this and your acapella friends will get mad at you again. I am officially cancelling our 10PM (Pacific) phone call. I know that you're just getting your post-dinner second wind at 10PM, but the 6AM Skype calls are getting old on my end. I know it's the only time between our schedules (we really both need to lay off the 8AM practices/classes next term), but I just don't think I can sustain it. Sam keeps me up too late with his gossip and comic book analyses and trying out his latest impression, plus I've got more homework than I thought I would. Plus, no one should really be subjected to me at that time in the morning, anyway - I'm sure you haven't been appreciating my Medusa-head that close to your bedtime, either – it's probably been giving you nightmares._

_So I'm going back to old-fashioned e-mail, because I refuse to be lured into Skype conversations with you while you're in class. So don't be surprised if I ignore you, it's for your own good. What's the point of paying all that tuition if you are just going to text me during your lectures? And we can still Skype on weekends._

_Hmm…well I think the advantage of old fashioned email is it gives me a moment to stop and reflect a little while I write. It's actually been just about one month since we got here, so this is actually a perfect time to stop and take stock._

_So let's see…_

_Academically, things are going well, as I guess I've told you generally already._   _The curriculum is so much broader than I think it is in the US. I've attached a picture classmate took of me in the recording studio, I think I was recording "Beauty and the Beast" there. I thought the reflection in the piano was pretty cool, even if I was having a bad hair day (Sam had kept me up really late that night with a new video game and I ended up sleeping past my alarm and stumbling out to class without doing barely anything to groom_ _)._

__

_The only thing about the classes is that I haven't really gotten to know anyone from them that well. They all seem friendly, but I find myself freezing up a bit before and after class, so I haven't approached anyone, and no one has approached me. They all seem to know each other from some sort of feeder high school._

_Outside of class, at least there are all the other students from the dorm I've mentioned we've been going out with, including those guys Liam and Scott from Sam's art program. I'm sure you can tell from the Facebook pictures I've been posting that they are all fun. The only thing is, it's been a month and I don't really feel close to any of them. I don't remember it taking so long when I started at Dalton._

_Maybe it's the drinking culture. You know I don't drink that much (though when I do I know you love it), but they hit the pub almost every night at least for an hour or two, and there are too many people for any real in depth conversation, plus it's not even really the right atmosphere for it. And I'm still getting used to how strong the beer is, and the fact that it's always served at room temperature. A lot of people smoke here, too, though it's not allowed in the pub anymore, thank goodness. But the minute you walk out of the pub you smell it in the student union – yuck._

_The other reason I was thinking it might be is plain old cultural difference. I've noticed that a lot of the time the British sense of humor is darker than the mainstream American brand of humor. Everyone is about being very self-deprecating, critical, and ironic. Hey, are you British? :D_   _As you know, those things aren't really in the core of who I am. They make fun of Disney all the time…like the reaction to my new arrangement and performance of Beauty and the Beast was not too well-received. Mostly polite clapping. Maybe I'm too sincere for this country – I feel like a Peanuts character in a Tim Burton movie._

 _Also this isn't like Stanford or even high school, there aren't lots of clubs to join – it's just a pure arts school and there are a good number of students who are just "commuter" students who come and go and don't really hang out at school. And there's no courtyard or Lima Bean, just this gross cafeteria. No real quad area or places to hang out like the ones you've been describing to me at Stanford. So it's just not that conducive to being very social, except at the student pub, of course._

_At least I have Sam. It's been interesting to explore Edinburgh together, though I have to say that I do not really love how much we're getting lost. It's an old city and not really that logically laid out. If this was a one-time visit like when we were in San Francisco, I think I might just laugh it off like Sam does. But I think I am anxious to feel settled here, so getting lost all the time just makes me annoyed because I want to just snap my fingers and feel at instantly at home and familiar with everything here._

_Yesterday in our explorations, I was able to find Nicholson's Café, where J.K. Rowling wrote a lot of the Harry Potter books. I still can't believe you've only read the first one. What can I do to get you to read the rest?! Why do I have you in my life again?! ;)_

_The other big news around here is that Sam's finished his macaroni portrait of me, but he won't let me take a picture of it to send to you. He says he'll bring it home at Christmas for you to see it in person, that a photo won't do the texture justice. I think it's kind of depressing looking, I look super sad – but he says his teacher liked it a lot, and he's trying some new stuff this week with different media (mediums?). It's cool to see Sam so into his art, he's getting a lot out of this program._

_Maybe more interesting to you is that this week he started dating a Scottish redhead named Mary, AND an English girl named Rebecca! He's got his hands full!_

_Well, I've gone on long enough. I think this is serving kind of as a journal for my year. Hope you don't mind. No need to write as much when you reply._

_BUT, do tell me all the latest. What else are you learning about Rob? I look forward to meeting him someday. Tell me more about your other friends – that lacrosse guy Thomas, maybe? Or anyone else you think is interesting. Have you gotten to see David over at UC Berkeley? I bet you miss the Warblers, I know I did every day I was at McKinley. Were you and Nick able to coordinate seeing each other for the USC / Stanford game? I'm bummed I'm going to miss the epic smack talk that week. Coop says that you can stay with him if it's in LA. When is your audition for that competition solo coming up for Mixed Company? Is your knee feeling better?_

_And I would like your overall reflections on your first six weeks at Stanford, please. Note that this is not an admissions essay question. But you should do it, as you will appreciate it when you write your memoirs someday, Mr. Smythe._

_And let's Skype on Saturday, how about 3PM your time, 11PM my time? I think you said you have triathlon training all morning and then something else after that?_

_Love,_

_Blaine_

_P.S. If we really wanted to do the cool old-school correspondence, we would write letters with beautiful fountain pens on gorgeous stationary and seal them with sealing wax. But I guess we're too impatient for that now._

 

Blaine’s hazel eyes were thoughtful as he took in his own words…sent just eight months ago but reading like they had been written years ago.  It was a bit hard to even remember the loneliness, that feeling of floating… How crazy it seemed that their sweet old university pub had ever seemed anything but darling and cozy, how the streets of Edinburgh had ever been confusing.  He knew the streets like the back of his hand now, the lovely architecture that made up the tops of the old buildings were a familiar pattern dear to his heart.

His brow furrowed with concentration as he continued reading over the other emails and texts Sebastian had forwarded, phrases jumping out at him: 

_\---------- Forwarded message ----------_

_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: December 5, 2013_  
_Subject: Re: Emerging from four day hibernation_

 _…I still haven't "clicked" with anyone._  
  
_...I'm still a little lonely and blue. I've been thinking that it's not just about being homesick, but maybe it's tied up with the cancelled wedding and withdrawing from NYADA and everything else. So I went to see the student psychological services department..._

_\----------- Forwarded message ----------_

_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: January 30, 2014_  
_Subject: Stuff and Junk (I'm too annoyed to be witty right now)_

_Hey there,_

_Can I just tell you how frustrated I am?!? …_

_\---------- Forwarded text message ----------_

_Thu, Feb 13, 3PM_

_BLAINE: Hey, bet you're in class right now but I just wanted to share the depressing news that I didn't get even a chorus part in any of the three West End shows I auditioned for. But I didn't really want it anyway, so it's okay. Just a stupid ego thing. I just feel a little foolish after walking away from callbacks kind of cocky. But I'll be fine. I have to handle rejection in this business, this is not a big deal. So no need to reply to this, I know you're busy. I was going to just email you about it tomorrow after your crazy Thursday was over, but now I'm still stewing about it and I can't sleep_

 

The international dorm elevator doors opened and Blaine walked out in a bit of a daze, still staring at his phone with a sentimental smile on his face.  But suddenly his head jerked up as he nearly collided with Sam, who had just come out of Liam and Scott's flat down the hall where most of his friends were working together on their final portfolio projects.

"Sam! Oh my god Sam...I got it..." Blaine said a bit breathlessly, looking dazzled at the prospect of saying his news out loud.

"What?" Sam's blue eyes widened.

"A part in the chorus for Miss Saigon..." Blaine answered, smiling broadly. "I just got the call from about our last school auditions in London a few weeks ago."  He shook his head with disbelief. "I'm not going to take it of course, but to be offered it...wow."

"Whoa, that's great!" Sam cried out, giving him a bear hug. "That's huge! Did you tell Seb? We gotta tell everyone!" He dragged his smiling roommate down the hall and burst into Liam and Scott's flat, interrupting the busy, quiet environment.  "YOU GUYS!  BLAINE GOT OFFERED A JOB IN THE WEST END!  THE CHORUS OF MISS SAIGON!"

Most of the room jumped in surprise, then exploded in whoops and cheers as the news landed.  Mary jumped up and lunged at Blaine with a huge hug, toppling over Liam's palette. "Blainers!" she exclaimed, her eyes shiny with tears.  "Congratulations!"

Sam took Blaine's phone and unlocked it with the passcode he'd known for years. "I'm waking up Sebastian and Tina..." he said, grinning.

"Seb knows already, I just emailed him," Blaine protested, reaching for the phone. "And it's not worth waking Tina..."

Sam shook his head and moved out of reach. "Are you kidding?  Yes it is!"  He said enthusiastically into the phone, "Seb? It's Sam - isn't the news fantastic?!? I knew he'd want to hear your voice..." Sam rushed on without waiting for a response.  "Hold on, I'm conferencing in Tina."  He dialed quickly to conference the skype call and put it on speakerphone and holding it between himself, Mary and Blaine.

Tina's sleepy voice answered after a few rings, the rustle of her bed clothes heard as he pushed masses of thick hair out of her face.  "B? Why are you calling so early, is anything wrong?"

"Nothing’s wrong!!!" Sam shouted, bouncing on his toes. 

Sebastian smiled fondly, rubbing his eyes. He put his own phone on speakerphone and tossed it face up on the pillow beside him as he rolled over onto his side in bed. He looked drowsy but pleased, his long legs tangled in his bedsheets and his chestnut hair still in tousled disarray.

Blaine chuckled, "I'm sorry you guys, I told him not to wake you, but he's right, there's nothing wrong. Everything's…somehow, magically...right..." he said, looking touched at all the happy faces around him.  "I got an offer to be in the chorus of Miss Saigon…I'm not going to take it of course... but to even be offered it!  I can’t believe it…" he said with disbelief.

“Believe it, Killer..." Sebastian's voice came with a huff of amusement as he propped himself up on one elbow in bed.

"Oh, Blainey Bear, that’s amazing!" Tina squealed over the phone as she bounced out of bed with her phone.

"I know…it really is..." Blaine breathed, shaking his head in amazement.  He continued to look around, a bit dazed again as he let it all sink in, thinking of how much had happened to get to this moment. His mind returned to the emails and the text that Sebastian had forwarded a few minutes ago that so clearly brought back all the struggle he had gone through earlier in the year. 

His eyes met Sam’s exalted one and tears came to his eyes... "How is this happening to me? I came to school just nine months ago, I was so…lost…broken…adrift..."

He felt a wave of love for his gathered friends as he continued thinking out loud. "And now I just got offered a West-End job, I'm going to play a lead at the Traverse Theatre after I just saw Sam Shepard perform on that very stage... I got a scholarship to UCLA..."

“And you said more of Professor Billson’s Hollywood and Broadway agent friends might be at the opening night of Grease, too…” Sam added, still beaming.

Liam turned on a song that came blaring over the living room speakers and called over the din of the room, "Enough talking, start singin' golden boy!"

_[Cue "Good Life" by One Republic on our YouTube list - search keywords I'm Gonna Miss You Too Soundtrack Seblaine or cue on our Spotify Playlist, play . spotify . com/ user / sebastianandblaine (remove the spaces)]_

The grounded yet unearthly opening bars of the highly appropriate song sank into Blaine's bones and a gratified smile came over his face as he shook his head in mild protest as Sam pulled his backpack off and Mary pushed art supplies off the coffee table took pushed Blaine up on it.  

He started gesturing at the room, his hips starting to sway with the music. "If I'm living a good life today it's so much because of all of you here, my family, my other friends…and I owe so much to you two on the phone..." he said with a loving look at the phone.  He licked his lips and turned to survey the room with a charming, deeply grateful smile before whistling along and then singing and performing his story:

 _Woke up in London yesterday_  
_Found myself in the city near Piccadilly_  
_Don't really know how I got here_

He pointed at the phone in Sam's hands and shook his head with a joyful shrug of his shoulders.  
  
_I got some pictures on my phone_  
_New names and numbers that I don't know_  
_Address to places like Abbey Road_

 _Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want_  
_We're young enough to say_

The whole room sang along with him for the chorus and Sebastian and Tina’s smiles were wide and fond:

 _Oh this has gotta be the good life_  
_This has gotta be the good life_  
_This could really be a good life, good life_

Blaine spun around on the coffee table to address the whole room in turn as he sang with them:

 _Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight_  
_Like this city is on fire tonight_  
_This could really be a good life_  
_A good, good life_

Blaine’s eyes were far away as he sang the next verse, thinking of Kurt, Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, Brittany, Meatbox, Wes, Quinn, Cooper, Nick...

 _To my friends in New York, I say hello_  
_My friends in L.A. they don't know_  
_Where I've been for the past few years or so_  
_Paris to China to Colorado_

 _Sometimes there's airplanes I can't jump out_  
_Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now_  
_We all got our stories but please tell me-e-e-e_  
_What there is to complain about_

Blaine jumped into the crowd, throwing his arms around Liam and Scott’s shoulders. He sang with them as they marched around the room before he hopped back on the coffee table.

 _When you're happy like a fool_  
_Let it take you over_  
_When everything is out_  
_You gotta take it in_  
  
He came back down off the table and grabbed Mary to waltz around the room with.  
  
_Oh this has gotta be the good life_  
_This has gotta be the good life_  
_This could really be a good life, good life_  
_Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight_

 _Like this city is on fire tonight_  
_This could really be a good life_  
_A good, good life_

...

Besides gourmet takeout, one of the few comforts in Sebastian’s onerous “dead week” before finals was the daily afternoon Skype call filled with Blaine’s excited stories.  It was the Royal Conservatory’s exam week as well as the final week of preparation for the outstanding musical performance of the year and Blaine was a blissful bundle of energy, rushing from final exams and performances to final costume fittings and tech rehearsals, clearly in his element and effusing with gratitude everywhere he turned.  
  
The moment finally arrived for Blaine to approach his dressing room for opening night backstage at the Traverse theatre on late Friday afternoon. He turned the knob wearing the smile that hadn’t seemed to leave his face all week.  He froze as he stepped into the room, his mouth dropping open when he opened the door. Taking over most of the surface of the small dressing table was a beautiful bouquet of at least three dozen red roses.

Blaine’s hazel eyes glowed as he read the card: 

_You don’t need to break a leg, Killer (you will be flawless no matter what, plus I want you in one sexy piece in my bed in Paris.) But have fun out there._

_Yours,_

_S_

Blaine gazed lovingly at the flowers for a moment before texting a thank you to Sebastian, wishing he had time to call.  A glance at the time, however, told him that he would be needed by the director soon.

A knock at his door sounded, and Blaine called “Come in!” as he ducked behind the changing screen to put the t-shirt of his costume on. 

The door opened and an unbelievably familiar voice drawled, “Get out here, it’s been too long since I’ve seen you in leather, Killer.”

Blaine’s head popped around the screen to stare at Sebastian in the doorway, wearing an exquisite suit and tie and holding about an enormous bouquet of probably three dozen dark pink roses.

“Seb!” Blaine bumped the changing screen as he headed over to tackle Sebastian in the doorway with a hug, his green-brown eyes like saucers in disbelief. “What?!  How?!  Your finals!”

“Karen told me red roses are traditionally given by boyfriends… but she didn’t tease me until after they delivered your bouquet. So I’m here to fix my folly.  Because I’m not your boyfriend…yet.”

The roses went tumbling down around them as Blaine’s arms went around Sebastian’s neck and he kissed him with tears in his eyes.  Sebastian kissed him back ardently, as his one hand tangled in the dark curls and the other grasped Blaine’s ass to press their bodies together in heated passion and relief.

Blaine finally pulled away to look up at Sebastian with big, questioning eyes.  “But…your finals!  How did you…”

Sebastian shrugged, licking his lips and biting them as he looked down with a fond gaze.  “I got one prof to let me take his early during Dead Week, the others were papers I hustled to finish early.  I submitted Gomez’ from the Edinburgh airport when I landed a few hours ago.”

Blaine leaned up to impulsively kiss Sebastian’s cheek.  “Awww, Seb!  That must have been so hard!”

Sebastian cocked his head and smiled indulgently at him.  “Totally worth it.”  He added with a signature teasing grin, “And don’t I get invited in?  Or do I have to go back to my suite at the Balmoral and find a bellboy to entertain me this weekend?”

Blaine slapped Sebastian’s backside lightly and then pulled him by the lapel through the door.  “Come in, Smartass.”

 

… 

 

“No weepy goodbyes, Sammy...” Sebastian said with a shake of his handsome head, looking pointedly at his very drunk friend.  “They are pointless and counterproductive.” He dragged Sam across the room to where Blaine was beckoning him from the karaoke stage. “Go on, go have some fun up there with your bestie…” he added, shoving Sam up the side stairs to the small stage at the back of the large restaurant where the cast party was being held.

“Come on, Sam...your favorite Scottish karaoke song!” Blaine called, waving a hand at Sam and thrusting a microphone into his hands as he started singing in his best Scottish accent:

_[Cue “500 Miles” on our YouTube list - search keywords I'm Gonna Miss You Too Soundtrack Seblaine or cue on our Spotify Playlist, play . spotify user / sebastianandblaine (remove the spaces in the address)]_

_When I wake up, (when I wake up),_  
_Well I know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you,_  
_When I go out,_  
_Well I know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you,_

Sam stared glassily at Blaine at first but as he took in the song his face started to grow thoughtful and then…determined?  Sebastian's eyebrows raised and he narrowed his eyes at Blaine as if to say: _Are we sure this was the best song choice?_

Sam started to sing along with Blaine in the next line, slurring his words and singing pointedly and with sentimental drunkenness at Mary, who was looking uncomfortable:

 _If I get drunk, (If I get drunk, ) well I know I'm gonna be_  
_I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you,_  
_And if I haver, yeah I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you._

 _But I would walk 500 miles_  
_And I would walk 500 more_  
_Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles_  
_To fall down at your door_

The whole international dorm crowd was starting to look awkward and even Liam was gritting his teeth at this point.  Mary was now visibly squirming.  Sebastian whispered to her in an entirely unconvincing manner, "He'll be okay, he’s just...getting it out of his system?"

Sam sang with increasing vehemence, however, clenching his fists and swinging his arm like a cartoonish drunkard, nearly toppling a microphone stand that a very concerned-looking Blaine caught just in time as he sang hesitantly along:

 _When I'm working,_  
_Yes I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you,_  
_And when the money,_  
_Comes in for the work I do_  
_I'll pass almost every penny on to you_

Blaine looked apologetic and helpless as Sam barrelled on.

 _When I come home (when I come),_  
_I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you_

_And when I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you_

Blaine reluctantly sang the chorus along with Sam, whose determined-looking eyes hadn’t left Mary’s face:

 _But I would walk 500 miles_  
_And I would walk 500 more_  
_Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles,_  
_To fall down at your door_

Mary looked trapped.  "I can't watch him like this, it's too sad," she whispered to Sebastian before she headed to the ladies room.

After the song ended, a worried-looking Blaine guided Sam off the stage to the bar where Sebastian, Scott and Liam were still standing. As they sat down on the barstools, Blaine grimaced at the others apologetically. "Bad song choice…I guess I didn't stop to think about the lyrics of that song..."

Sam’s lips were in a straight line.  "What are you talking about?  It was the perfect song for me to show Mary that I am NOT giving up on us!"

Sebastian's brow furrowed and he sipped his scotch with a disturbed expression.  "Sammy, she fled the room for _a reason._   She's told you she doesn't want to do long distance.  And believe us..." he glanced at Blaine and twisted his mouth to one side.  "It sucks."

"But it's not fair!" Sam suddenly moaned, putting his head face down on the bar. "Mercedes said the same thing, then Brittany..."

"Why is it such a tragedy?  You never dated any of these girls for more than a year," Liam said before drinking down his beer.  "You're too young to be tied down!"

Sebastian looked on thoughtfully, thinking Sam reminded himself of Blaine after the Klaine break-up.

Blaine looked sympathetic.  "Sam, remember though that Mercedes and Brittany are still good friends now and you said it's hard to imagine them as anything else now...if it's meant to be, you guys will end up together, and if it's not, you'll realize in a year that Mary was like Mercedes and Brittany..." he trailed off, knowing nothing he was saying was really of any comfort.

Scott spoke up bravely.  "We're gonna leave on our backpacking trip soon, Sam, and we'll meet lots of girls in the hostels and bars!"

Sebastian nodded, "Travelling will give you perspective, Sammy..."

Sam hadn't said a word or moved his face from its downward position on the bar.  "Mmph," he grunted.

Liam looked stumped, but the next karaoke singer's sad rendition of “Let Her Go” by Passenger was not helping.  He looked at Blaine. "Maybe a better song?"

Sebastian looked doubtful but he tried to get on board.  "Yeah…a better song, B - you and Sam sing Wham or something..."

Blaine shook his head. "That's really always been for me...we should find a Barry Manilow song or something for Sam..."

Sebastian shook his head, furrowing his brow and sticking out his lower lip.  "Too schmaltzy.  Sing something more ballsy…and…distracting.” His mind whirred as he tried to think of something else to focus Sam on.  "Oh..." he finally said, leaning over to whisper in Blaine's ear.

"That's perfect!" Blaine said, optimism reappearing on his face.  He clutched at Sam's arm.  "We've got the perfect song for us to sing!  For our trip!"

"NO..." Sam moaned.

"Come on..." Sebastian said, grabbing one arm and nodding at Scott to grab the other.  He brought Sam up to the stage but he refused to be dragged up the stairs.

"We'll start it off for you then..." Sebastian said coaxingly.  He gave up for the moment and went up with Blaine, dazzling the crowd with a smile before saying, "Hello everyone, I’m Sebastian Smythe and most of you have no idea who I am but it doesn’t matter, what matters is that I’m here to announce that the Young Americans are back, this time with a much less depressing song for you.  Your Keneckie's having a shit night, let's be honest - you all saw that.  But I'm here to try to turn that around, with Danny Zuko himself..." he gestured at Blaine and the crowd applauded and cheered.

 

_[source: barryspivot.tumblr.com]_

Blaine, touched and inspired by Sebastian's effort, spoke into his microphone earnestly.  "That's right, we're here to remind Sam that he has two choices.  He can be sad for the last week or so that he has with his girl...or he can try to make the most of it..." He saw Mary peek around the corner from the corridor where the restrooms were, and he smiled sympathetically at her.  "Because if there is one thing Sam's taught us..." he glanced over at Sebastian.

Sam looked up from his beer to look at his two friends, still looking glum.

"... it's that there is a lot to be grateful for, even when relationships are really hard. So I'd like to remind him that he's going to be the first in his family to see continental Europe next week, and after that, the world...and that is something to celebrate."

Sebastian was cueing the karaoke operator and bellowed into his mic with a playful look on his face, "Enough talking!" before he whistled:

[Blaine grinned at him as he launched them into the song]:  
_Ok, Tokyo!_

[Sebastian]:  
_South America!_

[Blaine]:  
_Australia_

[Sebastian, winking]:  
_France!_

[Blaine]:  
_Germany!_

[Sebastian]:  
_UK!_

[Blaine, gesturing for Scott and Liam to bring Sam on stage]:

_Africaaa!_

A slowly recovering Sam was wedged between Sebastian and Blaine, and Liam and Scott stayed to dance and sing along:

[Blaine]:  
_Calling out around the world_  
_Are you ready for a brand new beat_  
_Summer's here and the time is right_

Sam smile was widening and he looked a bit more grounded with Sebastian and Blaine encouraging him on either side of him

[All]:

 _For dancing in the streets_  
_Dancing in Chicago (dancing in the street)_  
_Down in New Orleans (dancing in the street)_  
_In New York City (dancing in the street)_  
_All we need is music, sweet music_  
_There'll be music everywhere_

Sebastian vamped in his best Bowie style, swinging his hips like the shameless Warbler that he was, much to the amusement of the British crowd.

[Sebastian]:  
_They'll be swinging, swaying, records playin_

[All]:  
_Dancing in the street, oh_

The infectious spirit of the song had overtaken Sam and he went down with an sadly apologetic face to find Mary and pull her on the stage as they all continued to sing:

 _It doesn't matter what you wear, just as long as you are there_  
_So come on, every guy, grab a girl, everywhere, around the world_  
_They'll be dancing, dancing in the street_

Sebastian handed his microphone to Sam, who did an even more extreme Bowie impression, making the crowd laugh still harder:

 _It's an invitation across the nation,_  
_A chance for folks to meet_  
_They'll be laughing and singing, music swinging_

The crowd sang the refrain merrily as Sam and Blaine danced together:  
_Dancing in the street_

[Blaine/All]:  
_Philadelphia, PA (dancing in the street)_

[Sam/All]:  
_Baltimore in DC now (dancing in the street)_

[Blaine/All]:  
_Don't forget the Motor City (dancing in the street)_

[Sam/All]:  
_On the streets of Brazil (dancing in the street)_

[Blaine/All]:  
_Back in the USSR (dancing in the street)_

[All]:  
_No matter where you are (dancing in the street)_

 _All we need is music, sweet music_  
_There'll be music everywhere_  
  
_They'll be swinging, swaying, records playing_  
_Dancing in the street, oh_  
  
_It doesn't matter what you wear_  
_Just as long as you are there_

 _So come on every guy, grab a girl, everywhere, around the world_  
_There'll be dancing, dancing in the street_

...

 

When the group finally descended the stage, breathless and laughing, Sebastian announced loudly: “Samuel, you owe me body shots, but I am passing the honors to Queen Mary of Scots to do them off of your world-class abs.”  The group of friends roared and the bartender was hailed as Sam was hoisted on Liam and Sebastian’s shoulders and carried to the bar.

 

…

 

The next week or so passed in a blur.  By day, Sebastian observed final classes and Grease rehearsals as a guest of Blaine’s when he wasn’t recovering from his own finals week and adjusting to the time difference at the iconic Balmoral Grand Hotel.  By night when Blaine wasn’t performing, Sebastian was found most often with Blaine and Sam at their flat or at their favorite pub. He found that he quite enjoyed chatting and drinking with Mary, Liam, and most of Blaine’s other friends before taking Blaine back to the suite for hotel sex and beauty rest.  Blaine found time to show Sebastian his favorite sights: the Edinburgh castle, the small theatres, the Scottish National Orchestra, his most beloved pubs and restaurants in the old city.  One day Blaine even ditched final review sessions and drove out to St. Andrews for a day trip, rushing back in time for Grease rehearsals. 

But goodbyes were unavoidably weepy when Blaine, Sam and Sebastian were loaded into their airport taxi.  The plan was for Liam and Scott to meet up with Blaine and Sam after their two weeks in Paris with Sebastian. Sebastian would fly back to California for his internship. Blaine, Sam, Liam and Scott would begin a backpacking tour for six more weeks around continental Europe before Blaine and Sam headed home to the U.S.

Sebastian held Blaine's hand as the curly head turned back to look with Sam through the back window of the cab, waving at Mary and what was left of their crowd of friends standing in front their dorm as they rolled away for a flight Sebastian had purposefully booked very early in the morning. "The RC will never be the same again..." he said with sober half-smile at the sad profiles of his two friends.  "They had no idea all the havoc you two obnoxious Americans were gonna wreak on them..."

Sam and Blaine had nothing to say as they turned back when Mary and their friends were finally out of sight, slumping into their seats.  Sebastian knew there was nothing more to say, except: "Eyes closed, it's too early to weep..." Blaine and Sam complied, Blaine snuggling into the circle of Sebastian's arm and holding Sam's hand.  Sebastian patted Sam on the shoulder and they all closed their eyes for the 30 minute ride to the airport.

...

Any homesickness for Mary and Scotland was thankfully buffered by the arrival of Stevie and Stacy, who were fairly bursting with excitement about seeing Paris with their brother, Blaine and Sebastian.  The ample city home where Sebastian spent ages 8-15 had more than enough room for Sam to sleep in the guest room and the younger siblings to share the sofa bed in the library on the top floor.

Blaine didn’t know exactly what to expect Sebastian’s Paris home to look like, but it certainly turned out to be very different than both the traditionally elegant and expansive Smythe estate and the old-world European beauty of Sebastian’s grandmother’s smaller mansion. Certainly Parisian real estate prices, particularly in the historic district of Montmarte, meant that the house was much smaller, having “only” 3 bedrooms and a library.

 

Besides size, the house was vastly different in its look and feel, beginning with the lush, far less manicured trees surrounding it, the old brick and the turn of the century bay windows and shutters going up three levels that made Blaine feel like he was in not just a different country but in a bygone era.  It was fitting in the Montmarte neighborhood, which seemed to have a painter on every corner and a piano in every window when Blaine stared out at the passing streets in their arriving cab.

Inside, the living room was long and narrow, with a sumptuous, modern angular leather sofa lining much of one wall.   The other wall was almost completely made up of floor to ceiling windows, a seemingly endless number of books and oversized art magazines on the floor lined up beneath them.  The effect was untidy but in a picturesque way - for bookshelves would not allow for that long couch and would block the view of the beautiful back porch. Porches were rare in Paris but Adrienne had built a front porch and a back one when she bought the house with her divorce settlement and some inheritance.  Blaine could imagine the living room and back porch being perfect for the parties, which according to Sebastian, Adrienne Fondeur enjoyed hosting.

 

The large wood carved wall hangings, rough textured paintings, and the unfinished wood of coffee tables shaped like barrels and industrial spools completed the earthy, artistic feeling of the room, which extended throughout the house.  The kitchen and dining areas were not large, reflecting Adrienne's penchant for eating out and catering in, and her preference for large cocktail parties rather than for intimate dinner parties. 

Blaine's favorite part of the house was the slant roofed library on the third floor.  Along with a small desk and chair, the small loveseat sofa bed, two comfortable, overstuffed armchairs and a table for chess, hundreds of books lined the built-in shelves and the glass triangle that made up the top of the back side of the house let in spectacular light and provided a beautiful view of the River Seine.

 

The bedrooms on the second floor were simpler, though the jacuzzi tub in Adrienne's master bath was indulgent. Unlike Blaine's Westerville bedroom, which was still overrun with old trophies and photographs from Dalton and McKinley, Sebastian's old room bore almost no trace that a teenager had ever lived there. It was simply and tastefully decorated with expensive art prints and the queen sized bed was covered with a plain, light blue duvet that had been Sebastian's.

When Blaine first saw it he thought it was a guest room until he saw a framed photograph of Sebastian and his mother on his desk and a line of what appeared to be about a dozen small, carved heart shaped paperweights on the top of the bureau. Rose quartz, pale jade, onyx, bronze, brilliantly blue lapis, each more exquisite than the next.

Sebastian had walked slowly over to them and Blaine saw a pained expression cross his lover's face before it was replaced with his normally calm countenance.  Sebastian began putting the hearts  swiftly away in the empty top drawer before Blaine came over and put his hand on the small of Sebastian's back and asked, "What are you doing?  What are those?  They're beautiful."

Sebastian glanced at Blaine and then back down at the bright red glass one in his hand, his face tightening a bit as his pressed his lips in a straight line before answering. "They're nothing," he said casually, avoiding Blaine’s eyes and biting his lip briefly. "Just some things my mom made and sent to me whenever she was out of town for my birthday...she always felt bad, it's a busy time of year for her," he said, his brow furrowing as he quickly finished putting them out of sight.  "You know I hate fussy things..." he added, closing the drawer and going over to the bed and pulling Blaine on top of him. "Well, except you, you're a fussy thing...but it's a weird part of your charm..." he said dryly, kissing Blaine deeply and running his hands down to his ass to pull him close.

...

The rest of the day of their arrival had been very busy.  After unpacking there had been a tour of the house and neighborhood, followed by an evening that included an excited trip with Sam and the kids to see the Eiffel Tower, followed by crepes and pizza from Sebastian's favorite homestyle neighborhood restaurant nearby.

It had been a happy time full of laughter and making new, fun memories.  Yet Blaine was thinking of nothing but the birthday heart sculptures when he woke the next morning and studied the photograph of Adrienne and Sebastian across the room.

Blaine had seen Adrienne's picture before - she was a very beautiful woman in her early forties, lithe and graceful like Sebastian, with the same green eyes and chestnut hair, hers worn long and gracefully styled with coppery highlights.  She had a twinkle of humor in her eye that reminded Blaine of his own mother, but her energy looked less grounded than Rowena Anderson, more ethereal.

After Sebastian's very mixed comments about her over time and especially after Kenny's concert, Blaine knew he should be wary of her.  Still, it had been a disappointment to hear the previous week that she had been called out of town at the last minute for most if not all of their visit because of meetings arranged by her manager. 

"It's not a big deal," Sebastian had said with an unconvincing shrug.  "Asia’s a major market for her work...and this is a busy time of year for her, she probably won’t be back before we leave.  After those shows she’s always dead tired, usually likes to stay and decompress, sometimes she does some networking, or just enjoys Hong Kong.” Sebastian’s face was carefully composed as he explained this to a troubled looking Sam.  “But I’ll see if I can get back to see her after my internship is over,” he finished vaguely. Blaine had squeezed his hand and tried to look calmly satisfied, careful not to let his glance linger unnervingly.

But in spite of all of this Blaine found himself feeling wishful as he lay curled in Sebastian’s arms, staring at the photo, much as he suspected Sebastian might when no one was watching. He knew his own mother cleared her calendar as much as possible at Christmas and planned the same for Sebastian and Blaine’s end of summer visit to Ohio.

After he felt stirring around to him, Blaine turned his head to one side to kiss Sebastian’s cheek, pressing back against his sweetheart’s broad chest. “Good Morning, Sunshine.”

“Hey,” Sebastian croaked.

“This is such a beautiful house,” Blaine said softly. "I can see how your taste is a blend of your dad's and your mom's," he said with a small smile.

Sebastian's eyes remained closed. "Mmmph," he grunted noncommittally. "And probably Nina's...and..."

"And your own," Blaine added quickly. "Of course we aren't just the sum of our family."

Sebastian's eyes opened halfway finally as he pressed his cheek on Blaine's hair.  "I should hope not, damn."

Blaine turned around leaned up and kissed Sebastian on the lips, full and soft.  "You are so much more than them, yes.” 

Sebastian kissed Blaine back with gratitude.  It was very different to be in Paris with Blaine - but a good kind of different. 

“Still, it's so nice to be here..." Blaine said softly, resting his chin on the thin cotton t-shirt covering Sebastian’s chest.  "I love that I get to see your life here."

Sebastian stared up at the ceiling and spoke slowly.  "I don't have a life here...anymore.  I don't work or go to school here, I don't live here.  I just come back because my mom wants to see me, and to enjoy the city.”  He looked back into Blaine’s eyes as a faint smile curved his lips.  “And now…to show it to you."

"Well, then I love that I get to at least see glimpses of what your life _was_ like," Blaine replied, squeezing Sebastian's hand under the covers.  "I like seeing what your house looks like, what neighborhood it's in, I like learning more about your past," he added with a teasing lilt to his voice, "You're so mysterious about it..."

Sebastian shrugged and said in a perfunctory way, “You know about my past.  I lived here, I played lacrosse and took dancing and singing lessons. I went out to clubs and slept around, got in fights, the last one landing me in trouble with the police and on a flight to Dalton.“

"Yes, at a high level I know what your life was like here.  But I want to know more," Blaine said softly. "Like who were your friends, are they all still here?"

Sebastian swallowed and looked out the window.  "I didn't keep in touch with any of them...I wasn't that close with many of them."

They heard a knock at the door, followed by loud shushing noises. "Stop it!" Sam whispered urgently, tugging at his brother and sister.

"We're awake, it's okay!" Blaine called.  "Come in!"

The kids burst through the door at a run, jumping on Sebastian and Blaine’s legs, followed by a sleepy, worried-looking Sam who sat at the foot of the bed.

Sebastian chuckled rolling on his back and putting his hands behind his head at the sight of Sam. "Don't worry, we'll lock it when we need to lock it."

Blaine raised his eyebrows and gave Sebastian a stern look. "YES, we will. And no shirtless sleepovers."

“Hey, I didn’t agree to that…” Sebastian whispered with a smirk.

Blaine gave him a chiding look.

“We found baby pictures of you!” Stacy announced triumphantly.

Sam rubbed his eyes and looked at his little sister in surprise.  “How long have you been up? Don’t snoop!”

“They were right on the bookshelf in plain sight!” Stevie argued.

“Let me see!” Blaine said eagerly.

“I’ll get ‘em!” Stacy cried, scrambling off the bed and out of the room.

“You’ve seen baby pictures of me at Nina’s,” Sebastian said, giving Blaine a wry sideways glance, sitting up straighter.  “No need to…”

“I haven’t seen ‘em,” Sam interjected with a teasing grin, looking a little more awake as he rolled off the bed into a downward dog yoga pose.

Blaine smiled brightly sitting up straighter in anticipation, hugging his knees to his chest.  "And those were like BABY pictures, the ones Nina showed me.  I want to see little boy Seb, and pre-teen Seb!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes and leaned to pull his phone off the nightstand, idly beginning to scroll through texts and emails. 

Stevie came charging back at a run with three beautiful leather scrapbooks.  Blaine and Sam each took one eagerly while Sebastian looked bored, typing a Skype text to Santana.

"Oh my god, how cute are you?!?!?" Blaine was already cooing.  "Look!" he said, stopping to grab Sam's hand as he pointed at a picture of a 13 or 14 year old Sebastian on stage in a shirt and tie. “So dapper, even in...junior high!”

 

"Tell me something I don't know," drawled Sebastian, not looking up from his phone.

Blaine was flipping slowly. "Who is this boy in all these pictures with you?"

"I'm hungry," Stevie interrupted.

Sebastian looked up at the young boy and then at Stacy.  "There might be something..."

"We'll forage around or go to the bakery you showed us yesterday," Sam said, standing up off the bed and starting to usher the kids out of the room. "You guys don't have to get up.”

“Get me a chocolate croissant!” Sebastian called after him.  “And my coffee!”

“Yeah, but not with the couvahsowhatever…” Sam called as he hiked up his pajama pants more and pushed the kids down the hallway.

“COURVOISIER!” Sebastian bellowed after him.  “The corner café has it!”

Blaine was looking thoughtfully between the album Sam had put in his lap and the one he had been looking at.  “What was his name?” he asked softly. “Your best friend in all these pictures?”

Sebastian looked over Blaine’s shoulder and his face grew neutral.  “Jared.” He licked and bit his lip, the green eyes grave.  “He was the only one worth anything and he moved away when we were twelve.”

Blaine looked at him sympathetically.  “Was he gay?”

Sebastian looked pained, staring down at the photograph of the graceful boy he had loved.  The angelic face with the straight brown hair and chocolate brown eyes looked like a ghost’s to him.  “Yeah.  We came out to each other when we were 11.  Didn’t do anything, just kissed like once and held hands.  He was shy.”  _So was I._  “But then he left for Korea nine months later.  His Dad worked for Kodak, ex-pat family.” _His mom was like Rob’s mom, but less booksmart._

Blaine cuddled closer to Sebastian, reaching for his hand and playing with long fingers.  “Why didn’t you keep in touch with him?”

“I was an asshole, picked a fight with him right before he left,” Sebastian replied in a carefully neutral voice.

 _Just like when we dropped you off at Stanford._ Blaine’s heart ached at the stony look in Sebastian’s eyes.  Jared had clearly been a lifeline for Sebastian.  Blaine squeezed Sebastian’s hand, wishing he knew what to say.  “You were hurt.  And young…” he finally said.  God he wished Sebastian could talk to him about stuff like this.

“And an asshole…” Sebastian said in a matter-of-fact tone, squeezing Blaine’s hand before getting out of bed and walking to his dresser.  “I’m hungry, too.”

…

The next week passed like a dream.  In the mornings Sebastian took the group to tourist sights and for shopping at sensibly priced stores that the Evans family could afford, and Sam shooed off Sebastian and Blaine every afternoon so they could go back to the house and nap or stroll through into museums, gardens, and Sebastian’s favorite neighborhoods. 

Almost every day Blaine would beg to ride in one of the horse and carriages available for hire around the city, but Sebastian always refused, claiming they were "too dirty, smelly and cheesey..." He would not give in even when Stacy widened her big eyes up at her “Uncle Seb.”  Blaine had been perplexed at first, since Sebastian taken them to see far dirtier and cheesier things, but then he started to notice Sebastian always moved to the inside of the sidewalk when they neared a horse and carriage.  And when he saw Sebastian flinch one morning when they came around a corner and suddenly came face to face with a horse from the French Republic guard near the Louvre, Blaine felt sure his lover was skittish around all  horses.  It all made sense - Sebastian had never played polo at Dalton, either.

Blaine stopped asking after that, though he couldn’t help still admiring the handsome horse and carriages all over the city.

In the evenings, Sebastian took them to his favorite restaurants for dinner or they cooked at home and afterwards they watched movies or Sebastian took Blaine out dancing at some of his favorite clubs. 

Every night ended in a locking of Sebastian’s old bedroom door and it was heaven – Sebastian and Blaine both felt like pinching themselves at times to believe it was real, this time they had looked forward to for so long, finally unfolding perfectly. 

…

"Mon Dieu!  Sebastian Smythe?”  On day 7 of the vacation Blaine and Sebastian turned to see a well-muscled young man with dirty blond hair sitting with a mug outside Sebastian’s favorite café in the gay Le Marais district.

"Hey...Alec." Sebastian lifted his chin and found both amusement and slight disturbance in the fact that he didn't remember Alec's last name, considering he definitely remembered the shape of the birthmark on the inside of his left upper thigh.

Alec extended his hand to Blaine with a polite smile, “Since Seb is being his usual rude self…Hi, I’m a Alec Flint.  Went to high school here with Sebastian.  I’m at Tufts now, dating a sophomore there.”

 _Who introduces themselves with their relationship status?_ Sebastian looked wise.  _Someone you slept with once and never called._

“Blaine Anderson…” Blaine said, shaking the other boy’s hand enthusiastically and giving him a warm smile.  “I know Sebastian from Ohio…but it’s so nice to meet a friend of Sebastian’s from here!”

Alec gave Blaine a cool smile.  "Yes, Sebastian and I have a lot of history together…”  He smirked at Sebastian.  “It's been a long time, I heard from Jose and Peter that you have come back every summer, it’s a shame we haven’t had a little reunion…”

 _There’s a reason for that.  You’re a dimwitted social climber_ , Sebastian thought, studying Alec with condescension.  He shrugged.  “I’m never here too long…” he said vaguely. 

Blaine noticed Sebastian’s expression and grew concerned.

Alec inquired casually, “Your mom is still here, then?”

Sebastian nodded, glancing at Blaine and opened his mouth to make an excuse to leave.

“I’m just home to see my parents, too,” Alex offered quickly. ”My dad’s still at Kodak here.  Now, what are you up to, Seb?  At an Ivy?“  He looked back over at Blaine with a knowing wink, “And breaking hearts all over campus, I’m sure…”

“At Stanford,” Sebastian replied, looking bored and not wanting to dignify Alex’s second assumption with a remark.  He looked to Blaine with a slightly urgent look.  “But we have to…”

Alec chuckled and continued with a smug smile.  “Stanford, of course!  Of course you’d go school near the gay mecca of the US.  Where you can sleep with a different guy every night…”  He shrugged, “Oh, but Seb you don’t know what you’re missing…having a boyfriend is the greatest thing to ever happen to me,” he said loftily.  “But I suppose you’re just not cut out for that, hahah…lord help the poor bastard who tries to pin you down!  Because what would YOU know about being someone's boyfriend?!?” he looked at Blaine with an airy trill of laughter.  “He never called after he slept with me and then ignored me just like all the boys he met in clubs!  Since we went to school together I thought I was different, haha!!  My boyfriend says it made me stronger, though…” he said with a superior expression.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at Alec.  “One can only hope…” he said derisively as he gave him a dismissive nod and looked over to Blaine, a shade bit more warily this time. 

Blaine was now angry.  He spoke up testily, “That’s too bad you were hurt when you guys were younger, but I don’t think you should make assumptions on who Sebastian is five years later.  Sebastian is going to be a great boyfriend…”

Sebastian pulled at Blaine’s arm.  “Let’s go, B…” he said with a grimace, guiding Blaine away quickly.

Alec was looking thoughtful and amused as Sebastian dragged Blaine away.  “Oh sweetheart…aren’t you adorable,” he said in a patronizing tone.  His expression grew more serious as he added, “You’re so naïve, Sebastian is never going to change….”

Blaine wrenched himself out of Sebastian’s grip and came back to get back in Alec’s face, his fists now clenched and his face flushed.  “You don’t know anything about me and you certainly don’t know anything about Sebastian any more…you are really quite a jerk, aren’t you?  You should really not judge…”

“He’s a little bitch, yes, and not worth your time…” Sebastian interrupted bitterly, grabbing Blaine’s arm again and pulling much harder, dragging his frustrated lover down the street further. 

“I wouldn’t bother crushing on him, darling!” Alec called after them.

“Let’s get coffee down here…” Sebastian said quickly, rounding a corner sharply.

Blaine looked at Sebastian, worried.  “Don’t listen to him, you’ve changed so much since those days…”

Sebastian shook head and held up a hand in protest.  “Let’s just not bother giving him any more time or thought…”

Blaine looked uncertain, his eyes widening, but he wanted to follow Sebastian’s lead.  “Oh, okay…”

But it wasn’t okay.  When he wasn’t brooding in silence Sebastian was trying a little too hard for the rest of the day to be pleasant.  Blaine didn’t know what to do, he wanted so much to reassure him but he didn’t want to push him to talk if he wasn’t ready.  He thought of spring break though, and took Sebastian’s hand at least and tried to be as loving as possible.

Blaine told Sam that he wanted to have dinner with Sebastian alone that night, and Blaine spent the time talking, almost babbling, about gifts he wanted to buy his family and friends – cigars for his father, special silk Blaine had seen in a high end fabric shop for his mother to have made into a dress, French movie posters for Cooper and Uncle Willy.   
  
It all might have been okay, Blaine thought later in retrospect, if, as they were leaving the restaurant, their handsome young waiter just hadn't given Sebastian a dirty look and said coldly to him, “Vous ne vous souvenez pas de moi mais je me souviens que vous.“  
  
Sebastian stiffened slightly as his glance lingered for a moment on the waiter before he pushed out of the restaurant onto the street.   “What did he say to you?” Blaine asked, groping internally for his high school French.  “You…don’t remember me…?”  Sebastian exhaled, looking darkly at a lamp post ahead.  “He said, ‘you don’t remember me but I remember you.’ Clearly another casual fuck I don't even remember.”  

[x](barryspivot.tumblr.com)

He headed toward home and was quiet the rest of the time, shutting down any overtures Blaine made at conversation. The tension between them thickened by the second, filled with anxiety (possibly panic) from Blaine, while Sebastian definitely resembled a brewing volcano, indeed.

When they reached the house Sebastian finally erupted on the front porch. "You want to know how many people I've slept with before you?" he asked sharply, crossing his arms to look down at Blaine.

Blaine looked at him keenly, clearly worried.  "No, I don't care, Sebastian.  I care about our present and our future, I don't need to know anything about your past unless you want to share it with me."

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed and his posture grew more rigid as he launched into thoughts he’d been having since they had left Alec.  “Needing to know and wanting to know are different things.  You told me the first morning we were here that you like learning things about my past.  And before you’ve told me that you’re impressed with how I deal with my dad, how you admire what I’ve accomplished at Dalton, at Stanford.  But if you are going to like me more because of the good things I’ve done in the past, you have to be honest and consider what the other things I’ve done say about me.  Anyway, it’s also only fair.  I know your number.  Two, not including me.  So you should know mine."

"Only if you want me to know.  It's not going to impress or disappoint me, Seb.  It's not going to send me running for the hills, I promise."

"It's 42.” Sebastian blurted out.

Blaine's eyebrows raised slightly and his mouth fell open a little before he could catch himself.

A slightly stricken look flashed across Sebastian's face before he looked somber as he tossed his keys at Blaine.  “Go to bed.  I’m going out.”  He turned to cross the porch and leave.

Blaine caught the keys, his mouth opening wider with shock as he turned to watched Sebastian start to leave him. “Seb…don’t go…” he begged. “I’m fine with it!” 

Sebastian turned, holding the railing to the porch steps and looking grim.  “Blaine, that’s a nice lie.  It’s okay.  It is what it is.  I just don’t need to be here while you process that.  I’m just going to go get a drink.”

Blaine crossed the porch quickly and grabbed Sebastian’s arm.  “Please, Seb, don’t go.  Can’t we talk about this so I can explain to you why I’m really okay with it?”

“You don’t have to…” Sebastian shook his head.  “I believe you’ll be okay with it…I just…” _I’m not okay with it._   “I just need more air...maybe a drink…”  Sebastian muttered as he turned onto the street, “I promise I’m not going to fuck anyone.”

 

…

 

Sebastian walked for an hour before he found himself at L'Enchanteur, one of the few Parisian karaoke bars with a full English song catalogue.  It was not a glamorous spot but Sebastian didn’t care, he usually only came when he was in this kind of mood.  He picked up the microphone on the dark stage and belted like he hadn’t since glee club Nationals in New York, but in a much darker way:

 _[Cue "Demons" by Imagine Dragons on our_ [ _YouTube list_ ](https://youtu.be/ja17peUplN4) _\- search keywords I'm Gonna Miss You Too Soundtrack Seblaine or cue on our Spotify Playlist, play . spotify . com/ user / sebastianandblaine (remove the spaces)]_

 _When the days are cold_  
_And the cards all fold_  
_And the saints we see_  
_Are all made of gold_

 _When your dreams all fail_  
_And the ones we hail_  
_Are the worst of all_  
_And the blood’s run stale_

 _I wanna hide the truth_  
_I wanna shelter you_  
_But with the beast inside_  
_There’s nowhere we can hide_

 _No matter what we breed_  
_We still are made of greed_  
_This is my kingdom come_  
_This is my kingdom come_

 _When you feel my heat_  
_Look into my eyes_  
_It’s where my demons hide_  
_It’s where my demons hide_

 _Don’t get too close_  
_It’s dark inside_  
_It’s where my demons hide_  
_It’s where my demons hide_

When he came back at 4AM in cab Sebastian was so drunk he fumbled with his key for a two full minutes before managing to open the door. When Blaine heard the door open he scrambled down the hall to Sebastian’s room from Sam’s room where he had been failing at watching a movie while Sam snored next to him.

When he got to the room he panicked, not sure if Sebastian would want to talk or not.  He slipped into bed but turned the lights off.

Sebastian tread heavily up to his room and saw Blaine on the bed and felt some hazy relief that he looked  asleep.  He stumbled a bit getting undressed and put on pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.

Blaine couldn’t resist peeking through mostly closed eyelids to see how Sebastian looked in the dim light coming from the window of the ensuite bathroom.  Sebastian looked terrible, he had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was a mess and he stank like scotch. 

Sebastian usually closed the bathroom door to darken the room so he could sleep as late as possible, but tonight he was too exhausted to remember and he just slipped into bed, just wanting the comfort of Blaine without having to talk about anything.  His eyes were half open as he lay his head as high up on the pillow facing Blaine, who was lying on his back.  He pushed his chin up against the side of Blaine's head, feeling the silky dark curls, his arm reaching around Blaine as he wished he could erase his past and be someone more worthy of this angel person.

  
Blaine was afraid to breathe.  He lay with his eyes closed but after about 30 seconds he felt tears rolling down his cheeks, it was too much…he could feel Sebastian’s pain and it killed him. 

[x](http://kurtsies.tumblr.com/post/107659595203)

He finally moved closer to hug Sebastian tightly.  “I’m so sorry that…that asshole this afternoon, and that waiter…” he whispered, pressing a wet cheek to Sebastian’s.  “I’m proud of how much you’ve grown, and I understand why you did it…even if other people don’t…”

Sebastian was too tired to hold back the tears that came down his face and he didn’t know what to say.  Blaine’s _everything_ was immeasurably comforting and sorrow and gratitude was coming out of Sebastian's his pores.  He pulled his cheek away to lean down and kiss Blaine deeply, pouring the pain and thankfulness and love he felt into it, his arm pulling Blaine still closer, their legs tangling and torsos pushing together until every inch of their bodies that could be aligned were touching.

When they finally parted for air Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, and his head was so heavy that it sank into his pillow without warning.  He was just too tired.  Too tired of the pained face of the waiter (Loic?) haunting him, too tired of the words that had rung in his ears all night … _lord help the poor bastard who tries to pin you down… what would YOU know about being someone's boyfriend…_ _Don’t bother crushing on him…_ _Please, Seb, don’t go._

Too tired of who he was.

But he finally fell asleep, aided by expensive scotch and Blaine’s fingers running soothing circles on his back.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and they are angsty! I hope you guys are still reading, please drop a review to say hi and let me know you are still out there! XOXOX - Karen


	43. A Lot of Work (Pas de Deux)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their run ins with two former sex partners of Sebastian's, Seblaine struggle through the second week of their vacation in Paris. But we all know the real Seblaine. Ambitious, driven...they're Dalton boys. They're going go at it with everything they have to make this work, even if it kills them...and it just might.

* * *

Blaine's eyes blinked half open far too early. But a glance at the clock said that it was 1PM, even though he felt like he'd barely slept at all, given the tossing and turning next to him. He turned over, wriggling a bit from under Sebastian's well muscled arm, trying to get more comfortable. When he could finally lean up on an elbow, he stopped and studied his lover in the dimly lit room. Sleeping Sebastian had always been beautiful: the adorably tousled hair, the impossibly long eyelashes, the aristocratic cheekbones. Blaine sometimes even skimmed his fingertips across the stretches of soft skin, the sculpted musculature, and watched the way he breathed. This angel could be his everything and it seemed too good to be true at times.

But now Blaine was not focused on any of that. His anxious hazel eyes instead searched for answers. It felt foreign, because he normally felt gratified by the fact that he was closer than anyone else to the impressive, often enigmatic, Sebastian Smythe. But after running into those ex-bed partners yesterday Sebastian had grown more and more distant. Blaine had so many questions. Had Sebastian gotten into trouble while out drinking alone? Could he forgive himself for his past? Would he talk about it? Or would they just get further and further apart until they disconnected completely?

Blaine sat upright, looking even more troubled. Not since he slept with Kurt at Mr. Schue's almost-wedding had Blaine felt Sebastian pulling away like this. Rolling onto his back as he considered this, he thought with some hope that maybe he just had to be patient. After all, when Sebastian had pulled away that time, he had come back to Blaine eventually, even if it was the day before Blaine's almost wedding.

But Sebastian had come back to save Blaine from himself. He had forgiven Blaine for mistakes Blaine had made about Kurt. The problem now was, Blaine wasn't sure he'd ever seen Sebastian forgive himself for much of anything.

After a few minutes of staring grimly at the painting across the room, Blaine's expression finally morphed into one of determination. He would just _have_ to find a way to help Sebastian get past this. Blaine just _had_ to not mess up again. Then he could finally have everything with Sebastian. They were already so much more than what he had with Kurt, and Blaine wouldn't let a discrepancy in their sexual histories break them. He had to get Sebastian to trust him, to trust in them, to trust they could go the distance. Sure, being boyfriends was technically just a label, but it was also a milestone. It represented how committed you were. In their case, it could even help them _mak_ _e_ that commitment. Then Sebastian would never have to ever feel ashamed again for anything he'd ever done, not even the fact that he'd bedded 42 other men in 19 years.

Blaine's looked a bit overwhelmed for a moment. _Wow, 42. How can I keep him sexually interested after all that?_

He shook himself – he couldn't focus on that now. He had to focus on making Sebastian see that he would never focus on that number. He would make sure they got the happily ever after they deserved.

Blaine's brow furrowed as he thought about next steps, how he might "propose." He thought about the days they had roughly sketched out for the remainder of the visit. What would be the best setting for him to ask Sebastian to be his boyfriend? Sebastian hated being cliché, so the foot or the top of the Eiffel Tower was out, and they'd already been to the top of the Arc de Triomphe and had an epic kiss there their first night in Paris. Of what was left on their list, the most romantic excursion left would be to take a picnic on a rowboat to the picturesque, 18th century Temple of Love. They would cross one of the loveliest lakes in Paris at sunset in the impressive Bois de Vincennes park. This park was three times the size of New York's Central Park and just as beautiful, if not more so. Or maybe they would go earlier than sunset, when the lighting would be better for selfies! They could still stay _until_ sunset. Yes, he would take Sebastian there this afternoon, the part of the day when Sam always left them to give them "alone time."

Blaine's phone buzzed and he quickly grabbed it, worried that it would wake Sebastian. It was his Skype app with a PM.

_KURT: I'm trying on outfits to see a show tonight and I just pulled out that bowtie you bought me. So seeing as it's June, I can now tell you when I am thinking of you, right? Also, can get your advice on a gift for my dad's birthday?_

Blaine blinked, forcing himself to focus. It occurred to him to ignore it, but then he remembered the early days of their relationship when Kurt would sometimes playfully text again and again to get his attention, causing his phone to fairly dance off the nightstand. He was about to silence it completely, but it occurred to him that he could reply and reschedule, seeing as Sebastian was now snoring. His fingers were anxious as he typed his reply.

 _BLAINE:_ _Hey, it's so nice to hear from you. Your dad's birthday isn't for a few more weeks, can it wait? What are you doing up so early? It wait another week? I'm in Paris with Sebastian still._

 _KURT_ _ **:** _ _The early bird catches the worm. Also Rachel wakes up so freaking early and we have no sound barriers in this place still._ _You can't multitask?_

Blaine glanced at Sebastian but decided he just couldn't risk it. If Sebastian woke up and saw him texting Kurt...

 _BLAINE:_ _I'm sorry, I just really need to focus on Sebastian right now. We only just have one more week together before we are apart for a long time again. He has to go back to San Francisco to do his internship for two months and I'll be backpacking around with Sam_

_KURT: Fine :P_

_BLAINE: I'm so sorry, I promise next week, on Saturday, when Sam and I leave, I can help you pick something out and we can really catch up. Let's make a voice call date on here: 10AM Paris time? I'll be on an early train by then to Barcelona_

_KURT: I was kidding, it's fine – no problem. But are you okay? You sound weird. Is Sebastian being an ass?_

_BLAINE: No. I just want to focus on him – we just need some time together._

_KURT: You still haven't answered my question. Are you okay?_

Blaine bit his lip as he typed out a white lie. Well it wasn't really a lie. He was really fine, all things considered...he had his health and he and Sebastian were going to be fine.

_BLAINE: I'm fine. If I sound off it's probably because it's early here and I'm a little tired. We went out last night_

_KURT: If I learned anything from our break up, it's that I should pay more attention to you when you say you're fine and you're really not. What happened?_

Blaine started to type, "Nothing," but that would a really big lie.

_BLAINE: I can't really talk about it, but I'm really fine._

_KURT: You can't talk about it because he won't let you or because you don't want to talk about how you're feeling because it's too overwhelming?_

_BLAINE: Because I want to respect his privacy_

_KURT: Oh fine._ _But just tell me, about you, is he treating you right?_

_BLAINE: Yes, he's treating me fine_

_KURT: You deserve more than fine_

_BLAINE: I know, that's not how I meant it. I mean he's not treating me wrong. We'll get through this._

_KURT: I have a good mind to text Mr. Ivy League to make sure he's treating you like a prince. I also think he needs to stop being a dope and let you become boyfriends if that's what you really want. Santana told me about that, and I can't say I'm surprised that he's a commitment phobe after the way he implied he was at Scandals. If he doesn't lock you down he's a bigger idiot than I thought. You deserve that, don't take less than that._

_BLAINE: He's not a commitment phobe. We were just trying to make it slow, so we wouldn't mess things up. But I think I'm ask him to be boyfriends tonight_

_KURT: He should be asking you!_

Blaine's heart was warmed by Kurt's indignance and concern. He smiled a bit.

_BLAINE: But you know how I love proposing! :D_

_KURT: Hahah, Ross. I think Rachel should have proposed too though._

Sebastian rolled over and groaned, making odd noises as he started to wake.

_BLAINE: I gotta go, he's waking up_

_BLAINE: 1PM my time next week, or anytime later than that, Sam and I should be on the train by then_

_KURT: Sounds good. Remember what I said. You're awesome and you deserve all the good things_

_BLAINE: ThxBye_

Blaine shot off the last distracted message and quickly put the phone down without waiting for a reply. He turned around to face Sebastian, mustering a small, anxious smile. "How are you feeling?" he said softly, his hand coming to cradle Sebastian's cheek.

Sebastian's eyes were still shut and he squeezed them even more tightly closed at the light that he was starting to feel coming through his eyelids. "Like my head is going to splinter open."

Blaine scrambled to sit up and pour a glass of water from the carafe set on the bedside table. "Here…" he said quietly, his face lined in worry as he reached down and stroked hair from Sebastian's forehead. "Sit up a little and drink some water, you must be so dehydrated."

Sebastian grunted as he complied, struggling to sit up halfway to sip water before collapsing back down, throwing a long arm over his eyes. He could hear Blaine getting up to shut the wood blinds and drapes and to close the bathroom door, ridding the room of painful morning light. Then he allowed himself to feel some degree of comfort as Blaine slipped back in bed and pulled himself close, one leg hooking over Sebastian's.

Blaine's voice was anxious. "Are you doing okay?"

Sebastian could hear the sympathy in Blaine's voice and he struggled to respond. His arm lifted so he could squint up at Blaine, his other hand moving to pat Blaine's cheek and press against Blaine's chest. "I'm okay," he grunted. He couldn't bear, especially with this hangover, to listen to Blaine feel sorry for him. His arm fell down across his eyes again but it couldn't block out the image of Blaine looking at him with that pitying look on his face.

He wondered what the hell he had been thinking, bringing Blaine to Paris. He had been so busy showing off that he'd forgotten the thwarting truths of his life. He nudged Blaine to roll over so he wouldn't have to look at him, spooning him tightly.

It wasn't long before it hit him - a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He realized that for the first time, holding Blaine was of little comfort.

They lay there, eyes half open, for a long time, until they fell asleep.

…

When Sebastian woke again, it was a with a bit of a start. He blinked his eyes open, trying to shake the dream he couldn't quite remember but could still feel all too intensely. What he did remember was that Blaine was in it, looking shocked at the number of men he'd slept with. He did remember the refrains of the nightmarish day prior:

_42._

… _Lord help the poor bastard who tries to pin you down…_

_What would YOU know about being someone's boyfriend?_

… _Don't bother crushing on him…_

_Vous ne vous souvenez pas de moi mais je me souviens que vous. [You don't remember me, but I remember you]_

As if he had been reading his thoughts, Blaine spoke up. His breath was unsteady and he started awkwardly. "I'm…are you…I want you to know that I don't care about who else you've slept with, and I'm…really sorry that we ran into those guys. You don't deserve... no one deserves… to be talked to like that." Blaine turned around to impulsively to kiss Sebastian's lips.

Sebastian didn't kiss him back. His bloodshot eyes blinked shut again and he croaked out, "Later... Let's save the pep talks and pity kisses for later, when I'm not so hungover..."

"They're not pity kisses…" Blaine stopped himself to respect Sebastian's wishes, straining to sound normal. "But sure. Later…" he answered faintly.

Sebastian nudged him to turn around again, grunting softly. "Later..."

But "Later" never came. Blaine's mind made a bleak comparison after it was all over. It was another broken promise for another talk, just like Kurt's promise to have a heart-to-heart talk after their break-up senior year. Blaine seriously wondered what was it about him that invited broken promises…

_..._

_SAM: Sebastian ran into some guys he's slept with here so he went out drinking alone one night and ever since he's been weird. Blaine's been weird, too. I'm kinda worried about them_

_ROB: What kind of weird?_

_SAM: They're both trying too hard. Seb's insisted they spend all day with me and the kids - everyday. Last week he and Blaine used to have time to themselves in the afternoon, but now Seb's become like this robot tour guide. Blaine's laughing too hard, fussing over Seb way more than usual, idk it's weird_

_ROB: Well maybe it's just an awkward thing Seb will get over. That doesn't sound too bad_

_SAM: He volunteered to take us to EuroDisney today._

_ROB: Whoa. I'll check in with him._

…

When Sam checked in with Blaine, he acknowledged that Sebastian was "off." Blaine likened the situation to how Sebastian seemed to shadowbox a ghost of Kurt back in New York City, before the visit to the Cloisters seemed to calm him down. "He'll be okay," Blaine said, trying to reassure Sam as well as himself. "He'll be okay, he just needs to be calmed down again, I helped him do it in New York, and I can do it again." Sam hugged Blaine without a word and it helped him immeasurably.

Not wanting to worry Sam more, Blaine didn't reveal how heartbroken he was about the loss of the intimate, romantic afternoons they had the first week of vacation. Those private afternoons had been filled with long talks, comforting silences, and hot makeout sessions. All this was often set on lovely strolls along the Seine, through parks and neighborhoods, and in galleries and museums. They had eaten at elegant restaurants and charming cafés, sometimes staying for hours like proper Parisians did, usually because they got caught up making plans together. They planned things they wanted to do with Nina, the Andersons, and their high school friends on their end of summer visit to Ohio, though Sebastian warned that he would also be spending every afternoon napping at the lake. They mapped out their road trip to take Blaine's car to California and speculated about what they would do together in California during college, but most of all they dreamed big dreams for after graduation.

[ x ](http://selinabruce.tumblr.com/post/112707546048)

Almost unfailingly they would end the afternoon back in the empty house where they could make as much noise as they wanted, their bodies and hearts intertwined in the bedroom.

The second week was thus a sharp contrast after Sebastian declared that the Evans family did not have nearly enough time to see everything they should in just one more week. He went on to spend all day, every day, taking the group out and sharing an almost encyclopedic knowledge of the architecture, art and history of every corner of the city.

Even the corners where there were those horse driven carriages for hire. Blaine was touched by Sebastian's seemingly redoubled effort to get over his skittishness around the handsome beasts. It must have been even more difficult now that Sebastian was fighting a dark mood.

At night Sebastian was determined to show Stevie and Stacey every classic movie musical ever made. With the children clamoring for repeat viewings of their favorites, their evenings were filled completely with movie marathons, gourmet popcorn, French sweets, and Italian sodas.

To Blaine's delight, he was pulled up from the sofa by his lover to sing and dance along to the _Singin' in the Rain_ "Moses Supposes" number, just as they had for Sebastian's grandmother last Christmas. Stacey and Stevie kids applauded so wildly that Sam was pushed up to join in a performing along to "Good Morning." Sebastian even vamped and batted his eyelashes after kissing Blaine and sending him off to sing "Singin' in the Rain." Then he even skipped back in the film so he could perform "Make' 'Em Laugh." Blaine laughed until he cried, and he felt his heart surge with happiness at how much genuine joy was Sebastian's eyes.

That was something, wasn't it?

…

_ROB: He keeps pushing off a Skype and his texts are really short. He sounds weirdly peppy. You're right, it's kind of creepy._

_SAM: And it keeps getting weirder. He's turning into a clown for my brother and sister, I'm tired just watching him. You wouldn't recognize him. Blaine's laughing like crazy one minute, then looks like he's going to burst into tears the next. But he never lets Sebastian see the weepy thing._

_ROB: I'll keep trying._

_SAM: Try harder! I'm wondering if Santana would help or make things worse. Cooper would definitely make things worse, but I don't know what else to do! Maybe Tina, though she's not very pro Seblaine. It feels like we need to switch to guns - Blaine's hair gel has gone apewire_

_ROB: I get the Top Gun reference, but what does his hair gel have to do with anything?_

_SAM:_ _The more he wears, the worse things are._ _And he looks like Pee Wee Herman right now._

…

Sebastian and Blaine danced and sang along to many more onscreen numbers over the next few nights, and each time they did, Blaine almost believed things were completely okay again. The arts could transform, yes?

But he never could confirm it privately. Sebastian fell asleep every night sandwiched by Stacey and Stevie on the couch. After being guided upstairs, he was in such a tired state that attempts at conversation were futile. As it were, their active schedule and his own state of anxiety most often had Blaine exhausted by that point every night anyway. He just tried to be grateful to fall asleep in Sebastian's arms.

That was something, wasn't it?

They still fit together so well, Blaine fit right in that nook on top Sebastian's chest and shoulder. And when they inevitably turned over, they still spooned like they were made for each other.

Even if Sebastian's arm could be a little too tight.

He unfailingly woke Blaine for sex every morning. He started by kissing the back of Blaine's neck, Sebastian only half awake himself. Rutting up against him slowly but surely, his fingertips traced the lines of Blaine's body with purpose. It wouldn't be too long before Sebastian's practiced hands were stroking his cock and he was rolling on top of Blaine to kiss him deeply.

Blaine, no matter how tired he was from waking and worrying in the middle of the night, put his all into his responses. He knew Sebastian, in spite of his eloquent tongue and sharp wit, actually expressed himself more easily nonverbally. This was evident in his lacrosse and his dancing, but most notably through his considerable sexual talents. Sebastian's mood and emotions had always been clearly read by how aggressive or tender his caresses were, how playful or hungry his kisses were, how rough or sensual his hips were.

During this second week in Paris, the sex was different, somehow. For one, Sebastian was exclusively topping. For another, he wasn't playful or smiling at all during or after, over the course of a several days. Finally, the sex felt unusually intense. Could sex be _too_ passionate? Blaine hadn't thought that was possible - one of the things he loved the most about Sebastian was how passionate he was! Sebastian could be tenderly passionate, playfully passionate, teasingly passionate, hotly passionate…but he was pretty much always passionate and it was fantastic. Blaine practically sunned himself in the passion that emanated from Sebastian, particular when it was directed towards him. That kind of passion made Blaine feel so wanted and swept up - it was wonderful.

So it couldn't be bad that their love making in Paris now was unusually passionate, could it?

But then why did Blaine sometimes feel on the verge of tears when Sebastian pushed into him, or after they were finished?

Sebastian was at least making eye contact, even if Blaine couldn't always read him. And Sebastian wasn't acting detached, or pushing Blaine away.

That was something, wasn't it?

Every day it seemed to grow worse. Every touch, every graze of Sebastian's lips, every heated move, no matter how delicate, felt like an effort to convince Blaine of his devotion - or worse yet, like a mea culpa or an act of worship.

Blaine responded tenderly, doing everything he could to soothe, to assure, to communicate his acceptance and love. A few times he came very close to telling Sebastian that he loved him, but he held his tongue, remembering his lover's disdain for "pity kisses." He really didn't want the first time he told Sebastian he loved him to be seen as an act of charity.

So he just tried to be grateful. All of this problematic give and take during sex notwithstanding, it was still the time of day when he felt most connected to Sebastian.

And the fact that they were still connecting at all gave Blaine hope that one morning they would overcome the awkward silence that followed the sex every morning.

Of course that would require Sebastian staying in bed for longer than 30 seconds after he'd pulled out of Blaine.

…

Every morning, Sam came in to see Blaine while Sebastian was in the shower. "So, did you talk it out?"

Blaine sighed . "No. He took off on a run."

TUESDAY: "So did you guys get to talk?"

"No, he went on a run."

WEDNESDAY: "Anything?"

"No, and…"

Sam rolled his eyes as he finished for him, "And he went on a run."

Blaine side-eyed his roommate as he spread a generous dollop of gel on his fingertips and began to firmly smooth down his curls with it. "No, what I was going to say is that the more I think about it, the more I think I shouldn't force it. Where's the good in rehashing something that was so painful for him? There's nothing we can do about it now, he knows I'm not going anywhere because of his past. And he seems fine…"

Sam's brow furrowed, sitting on the bed with his arms crossed.

"Well…like he's going to be fine." Blaine swallowed and searched for words as he ran his fingers firmly, over and over and over again, over his already slick hair. "I think running is just how he works through things, like after the first time we slept together, and before our big fight during spring break."

Sam looked stern. "But then he was jonesing for angry sex with …you know…dubious consent…"

Blaine gave his best friend a slightly baffled look in the mirror. "Where did you even learn that phrase?" Without waiting for an answer, he shook his head and continued firmly. "He would never have forced himself on me, no matter how drunk he was…and I certainly would never let anyone, even him, do that. Anyway, this is totally different. He was…" Blaine looked at Sam in the mirror as he thought about how to contrast the two circumstances. "He was upset at the _situation_ when we were in Orlando. On Saturday he was upset at himself, I think…and ashamed of his past. That's very different. I actually think it's admirable what he's doing, forging ahead, focusing on being a good host…"

Sam interrupted dryly, "And avoiding talking about it." He stood up, putting his hands on his hips. "And now you're avoiding talking about it, too."

"We're not avoiding!" Blaine protested, closing the drawer and folding his arms across his chest. "I mean what is there left to say, really? I think he's right, it's good we're just moving on from something we can't change." He scraped the bottom of the container for every last bit of gel he could get. "I think it's healthy, actually…slowly but surely, he's cheering himself up. I mean what better way to cheer himself up than to focus on the kids?" Blaine walked briskly from the room to find the children.

"That's something, isn't it?" he called from the hall.

Sam sighed as he got up to follow.

…

That night, the children took baths while, over the remains of dessert, Sebastian explained the finer points of lacrosse to a patient-looking Sam and an excessively enthusiastic Blaine. Before he had gotten too far, however, they heard the front door being unlocked and opened. A gentle female voice called out pleasantly, "Hello? Surprise! Where are the Americans in Paris?"

Sebastian looked taken aback for a brief moment before he schooled his face into a mildly pleased expression. "My mom came back after all," he said calmly as he stood up from the dining room table. "Never a dull moment with Adrienne," he added coolly, shaking his head as he led the way to the living room.

Adrienne Fondeur was even more lovely up close. She was tall, elegant, and ethereal, but somehow still approachable. Her movements showed a dancer's training, just as her son's did, and her patrician, angular features struck an even closer resemblance to Sebastian's in person. Her graceful, stylish long skirts rustled as she moved to greet the three young men entering the room.

She appeared to quickly appraise Sebastian before squeezing his arm as she smiled at the other two. "You must be Blaine," she said, turning to Blaine with a gracious smile.

Sebastian turned in the direction of the bar with a sardonic smirk.. "Of course. God forbid you come back to see the fruit of your loins."

Adrienne looked to her son with mild amusement, but a small sigh escaped her. She stepped to pull his arm before he got too far. "Of course I came back for you, too, mon coeur _[my heart]._ That goes without saying, my loinfruit," she said with a soothing smile. "Ok, you aren't so little anymore,"" she added as she turned him to face her, looking him in the eye with a steady gaze. She hugged him and affectionately kissed both of his cheeks. She murmured in his ear. "Bonjour mon beau garçon…" _[Hello, my beautiful boy…]_

Sebastian rolled his eyes at her but accepted the embrace, looking a little more relaxed as his long arms wound around his mother's slender form. Blaine didn't think Sebastian was particularly _un_ enthusiastic, but there was a little something missing for a boy who hadn't seen his mother in a year. Sebastian did close his eyes as his mother kissed him, however. Blaine perhaps just didn't understand the dynamic between this mother and son.

Adrienne surveyed Sebastian thoughtfully from head to toe. "You look like perfection, as usual," she said, looking satisfied.

"Would you expect anything less?" Sebastian said with another smirk, turning back to move toward the bar with a swagger.

Adrienne huffed out a chuckle and she turned to Sam with a welcoming smile. "And you must be Sam, our first-timer in France?"

As Sam introduced himself Blaine felt a stab as he thought about Sebastian and Adrienne. How difficult it must have been for Sebastian not to see this enchanting mother more than twice a year for the last three years! And to be taken from this captivating creature to that big lonely mansion in Westerville, under the neglectful watch of the very lacking Bill Smythe…it broke Blaine's heart to think about it. He had found just this one year abroad away from his mother to be challenging. Sebastian put wine glasses out next to the bottles he had lined up on the bar as he called out, "Comment vous longtemps en ville pour?"

Distracted from his worries by this, Blaine's expression turned a bit dreamy. Sebastian speaking French always made him a little weak in the knees.

Adrienne was about to answer when her glance landed on Sam, who was looking polite, and She smiled warmly at him, explaining, "Sorry, sometimes we slip into French without realizing it…he was just asking how long I'll be in town." She called to Sebastian, "Just until day after tomorrow. I'm squeezing this in between exhibitions scheduled in Japan and Korea."

Sebastian's head jerked up from the bar and he looked alarmed.

Sam and Blaine's backs were turned to Sebastian, and Adrienne stayed focused on them. Blaine spoke up politely. "We'll take what we can get. We thought we wouldn't get to see you at all. It's so good to meet you, Ms. Fondeur, thank you so much for letting us stay here."

"Of course, Sebastian's friends are always welcome…but please, call me Adrienne." Adrienne's friendly and calm green eyes looked like they wanted to linger on Blaine's face, but Sam spoke up again and she turned to answer him.

Blaine watched Sebastian pour drinks for the group and steal furtive glances at his mother – for what, Blaine did not know.

"SAMMMMMM!" the Stacey called suddenly from upstairs. "STEVIE WON'T GIVE ME MY SHIRT!"

"Sorry…" Sam said apologetically before heading to the stairs. "That's my brother and sister, they must have gotten out of the bath. I'll bring them down to meet you in a minute. They'll be excited, 'cause they've seen your picture…"

Adrienne smiled graciously at him before he disappeared upstairs. Then she hooked her arm in Blaine's and steered them towards the sofa. Her green eyes twinkled at him in a way Sebastian's were wont to, once upon a time. She spoke in a lowered voice, glancing up to make sure Sebastian was out of earshot still. "Sebastian has not told me enough about you, all I know is that you were the poor boy who he injured in high school (I'm SO sorry for that), that you've been in Britain this year, that you're going to be the next Joel Grey, and that you are _not_ his boyfriend." Her eyes twinkled again. As they sat down she added in a still quieter voice, with a knowing glance across the room, "It's just like him to be your typical male commitment-phobe, he's always so busy trying to conquer the world, just like his father. I couldn't stop either of them if I tried."

Blaine thought this interesting coming from an internationally successful painter and sculptor.

Adrienne added with mild resignation, "But at least he's dating finally. I hope you'll have patience with him, I do think he likes you, you must be special to merit a long distance relationship..."

They were interrupted by Sebastian, who appeared looking sardonic. He gave Blaine a sweet dessert wine he had come to love and gave his mother what looked like a San Pellegrino. "We're not liquoring up my mom so you can pump her for stories about me, Killer."

…

The next morning Sam came to find Blaine at the mirror, but there was no sound of the shower running. "Is Seb still running?"

"No, he's downstairs with his Mom and the kids…" Blaine said distractedly, giving his hair a final hasty pat. "I heard him come in the kitchen door but they must have waylaid him…" Blaine turned around for his phone, his eyes a bit bleary. "I'm so mad at myself for drinking so much wine last night. Ugh, the drinking age in America is much more sensible," he said, sounding like his own mother, but with a flustered edge. "Drinking makes me groggy and I sleep for too long afterwards. We didn't even…"

 _"_ You didn't have sex..." Sam finished for him wryly.

Blaine blushed, his face a bit incredulous. His mouth opened, but Sam spoke up for him again.

"For a fancy house, it's got thin walls," Sam said, rolling his eyes. "Or you guys are just hella loud. It's been like a weird alarm. Definitely a good way to get me out of bed to do my yoga." Sam went over to sit on the bed. "Boo hoo," he teased. "Some of us haven't had sex in weeks, I so sorry that you guys will live have to without for one day..."

It was Blaine's turn to roll his eyes. "It's not that, it's more that I was hoping to really talk to him this morning, I thought talking about his mom would be a good conversation starter. But I didn't even wake up when he got up..." He gripped his forehead. "And now my head hurts too much to talk..."

"Aha," Sam said wisely, "So you are not as "fine" about Sebastian when you're hungover..." His words were chiding but his blue eyes were sympathetic. "Well, you can talk about it tomorrow morning, or maybe now that his mom's here we won't do as many touristy things. Though I do kinda want to see that Dali exhibit."

"You should see whatever you want, Sam." Blaine replied, looking sorrowful. "Yeah, you were right. Sebastian and I should probably talk about everything that happened." He drew in a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for whatever lay ahead. "I do think telling him about how much I like his mother could help open him up, her being here is bound to cheer him up, he's never really complained about her the way he does about his dad." He smiled at Sam. "Adrienne is great, huh?"

Sam nodded earnestly, but he bit his lip and was looking thoughtful.

"What?" Blaine looked puzzled.

"Nothing, she's great…" Sam said hastily, trying to pinpoint why he was hesitating. As they reached the stairs he gestured vaguely as he tried to explain. "She just…hmmmm…well, I guess she's like my Aunt Kendra. The whole family loves her, but my mom always sounds a little worried about her and I don't really know why. She's always happy when we see her…but…it's like happy with just a little bit of sad underneath? Or maybe just what used to be sad underneath? My mom said once that she was just one of those people who has to work a little harder to be happy." His eyes were thoughtful again. "Man, I kinda want to do a collage about it now…"

They were interrupted by the sight of Stacey and Stevie barreling upstairs towards them. "Uncle Seb's mom is a REAL artist! She wants to see our drawing of the Eiffel Tower!" they panted as they reached them near the top step.

Sam smiled indulgently at them. "What am I, chopped liver?!"

Stacey and Stevie grinned at them as they charged past. "She's made statues with jackhammers!"

Blaine and Sam smiled at them and then continued to walk down, until they were stopped by the sound of Sebastian arguing heatedly. They hadn't heard him like this since his drunken fight with Blaine in Orlando. But this time, he was sober.

"You are not fine! Why would you do that, TWO 12 hour flights in three days?"

"I've been sleeping better on planes lately, it's okay, ma chérie…"

"It's more than that and you know it…you were up WAY too late last night, and now look at you. You… you have to take care of yourself, Mom…" Sebastian's voice was more frustrated than angry now.

"I was only up until 8:30…" Adrienne said calmly.

Sebastian was working himself up again. "That's 3:30AM TOMORROW in Japan. You can't wear yourself out, you know you end up getting too low…"

His mother said soothingly, "It's okay, I left a day to take it easy when I get back. I wanted to see you, and meet Blaine. And your internship is even further away…"

"What, are you planning to spend all summer in Asia? We could have met up at Nina's…or I could have come back…"

"I have good news for you," Adrienne interrupted. "I'm getting into a very regular practice with my meditation and yoga...so things have felt really good. So I'm weaning off my lithium!"

"What?" Sebastian's eyebrows jerked up. "Why? You shouldn't, not with this much travel, what the hell is your doctor thinking?"

There was the sound for chair legs scraping and Adrienne's skirts rustling. Her voice was calming. "He's thinking that your mother is doing really well, so we're going to try this. The travel is just short flights if I use Hong Kong as a home base. And the weaning is very gradual. If I start feeling off, I'll call Dr. Guo. It's going to be fine."

"You always say that," Sebastian said grimly, and they could hear him standing up. "Why can't you just stay STILL? If it's working, then just STAY with it!" he said sharply.

"Because I don't want to stay with it," Adrienne's voice was a little sharper. "Why have extra chemicals in my system if I don't have to? I have always been a borderline case, so now that I'm doing better, I'm going to try to do without."

"The last time you 'went without' you ended up in the hospital, it's not _that_ borderline," Sebastian said harshly.

"Keep your voice down, the children will be back any moment…and you _know_ those were different meds, and five years ago…" Adrienne's voice had a wavering edge to it.

Blaine grew suddenly afraid Sebastian was going to erupt during this very short, very precious visit with Adrienne. Instinctively, he began to race quickly down the last several stairs, towards scene he was producing in his head. "RUN!" he hissed at Sam, who followed suit, looking surprised.

"Hah!" Blaine said, boldly running up to Sebastian and gripping his shoulder, pretending not to see the wary look on his face. "Beat ya!" he said mischievously to Sam.

Adrienne smiled a little tremulously and beckoned graciously for everyone to sit and start breakfast. Sebastian shook his head and muttered something about needing to change his clothes as he headed for the stairs quickly.

When he had finished breakfast Blaine went upstairs, but Sebastian wasn't in their room. He did hear Adrienne begin to speak French before she closed her bedroom door however, and about fifteen minutes later he heard the door open. When he peeked into the hallway he saw her with Sebastian, who was looking calmer, but still a bit stern.

Adrienne took them to a museum where she knew there were good art workshops for Stacey and Stevie. They had a leisurely lunch and went to the Dali museum in the afternoon. Sebastian gave closelipped smiles for photos but was subdued most of the day, letting his mother entertain the children and play tour guide for his guests.

After dinner, Adrienne shooed Sam, Blaine and Sebastian out for some nightlife. "The kids say you've been watching movies every night since you got here? What are you, old men?" she teased gently. "Just don't get into any fights!"

Sam thought he saw out of the corner of his eye a flash of pain across Sebastian's face at his mother's last words, but when he looked again, Sebastian looked fine. Well, if you could call his slightly off-vibe this week, "fine."

Blaine was disappointed, but not surprised, that the exclusive rooftop club Sebastian selected was loud and not well suited for conversation. But after the third round of drinks (second for Blaine), Sebastian was the one who got up and suggested they go outside, where it was quieter.

He led them to a posh-looking outdoor sofa and sat down, leaning forward and downing more of his drink. He looked determined, his gaze tired but unwavering.

"You guys heard me and my mom this morning."

Sam sat opposite and Blaine was next to him. They both looked a bit surprised for a moment, but they nodded slowly.

Sebastian continued, almost in a monotone and not providing much eye contact. "She has a low grade form of bipolar disorder. She's on the cusp of regular bipolar I and bipolar II. Bipolar II is the less extreme kind. Bipolar I can land you in the hospital. She's been on medication for 10 years."

Sam was looking tentatively at Sebastian, his blue eyes a little helpless. "Is that…?"

Sebastian interrupted, sounding a bit rehearsed. "It's also called having manic depression. It means your mood can swing really high, which can manifest itself in different ways…someone with bipolar might stay up all night, eat too much, shop too much, have too much sex…" Sebastian looked a bit unnerved before he continued. "But most of the time people with untreated bipolar are depressed. They can't motivate to do even things that they normally enjoy doing. It's often misdiagnosed, thought to be anxiety or clinical depression or both. But bipolar is very cyclical once it's triggered, it's a specific chemical imbalance."

Blaine reached over and covered Sebastian's hand with his own. "I'm so sorry…" he took a quick breath before trying to clarify. "I don't mean I'm sorry in the sense that I feel sorry for you…or her…I just mean I'm sorry because you guys probably went through a lot when she…got it."

"She didn't 'get it,' like a virus," Sebastian corrected him, taking a drink of his scotch. "It's inherited for a lot of people. We think my grandfather had it, but Nina's so old school that she hasn't said as much – and back then they didn't really know much about it. For a lot of women, including my mom, it's triggered to an active state by the hormones from pregnancy and childbirth. So basically, I gave it to her," he joked darkly, with an arch of his brow and a smirk.

Blaine wondered how much a joke it was. His hazel eyes were soft and sympathetic as he shook his head in disagreement.

"I don't want anyone else to know about this," Sebastian warned, standing up to look out at the city lights so he could avoid the pity he saw in Blaine's face. "People don't understand it, they think it means she's unhinged or crazy and as you can see, she's not. In fact her bipolar is probably part of the reason why she's so successful - Vincent Van Gogh had it, and Winston Churchill, Sinatra, Jackson Pollack…"

Blaine wondered how happy any of those successful people had been, but he stood up and squeezed Sebastian's hand. "She's certainly in good company, then."

Sebastian didn't respond, just removed his hand from Blaine's and patted him on the shoulder as he turned to give him and Sam a pointed look. "I mean it, not a word to anyone, not even Tina…the only reason Santana knows is because we got so fucking wasted one night senior year that we narrated our own Biography channel documentaries," he said, shaking his head with regret. "I told her if she told anyone I would drug her unconscious and stage her death on social media. _Then_ I'd tell all of her secrets."

...

About twenty minutes later when Sam left to get more drinks, Sebastian stood up and walked Blaine to the edge of the rooftop lounge.

Sebastian looked almost forbidding now as they looked out at the Parisian skyline. He finally spoke up, quietly. "I was an asshole to her, I know." _Just like my dad._

"You were worried about her." Blaine moved to make eye contact.

Sebastian had to avert his eyes, as if the pity he in Blaine's big, beautiful eyes could sting him. He didn't reply, and he suggested they go home not long after that. After the quiet ride back, Sebastian climbed into bed and kissed Blaine quickly. "I'm tired," he whispered, his eyes vacant. "Good night."

"Sleep well. Good night," Blaine strained to sound natural.

Sebastian rolled away from him. It was the first night Sebastian hadn't sought to spoon him.

They lay there, eyes open, for a long time, until they fell asleep.

…

The next morning Sebastian slept late - very late.

Blaine woke early, studied Sebastian for a few seconds, then crept out of bed looking very determined. He went for a run that morning for the first time in awhile.

Adrienne had long since left for her early flight, but they found gifts on the dining room table at breakfast. There were expensive souvenirs that Blaine, Sam and the children had admired on their outing the day prior. For Sebastian, she left a beautiful, small glass heart to add to his collection. It was deep blue glass, surrounded by a translucent outside layer of glass. Sebastian examined it with a stoic expression, looked up to smile politely and show it to the children, then pocketed it quickly and left the house to get the coffee and pastries.

Blaine announced firmly at breakfast that he and Sebastian were going to spend their last day in Paris together alone, but that they would rejoin the Evanses at dinner. Sebastian looked a little surprised, but did not object. The children's disappointment was quelled by Sam's suggestion of visiting the Children's museum again and then having lunch at McDonald's, where Sebastian had been refusing to let them eat.

It was a quiet morning at some of Blaine's favorite spots in the city. Sebastian took Blaine's hand wherever they went and he held him tightly when they stopped to admire the sights. He was tender and attentive, but something was still missing. It was what had been missing all week – the humor, the joy, the fond teasing, the freewheeling fun, and most of all, the genuine connection.

When they stood, arms hooked, near the foot of the Eiffel Tower, Blaine moved to hook his arm in Sebastian's, his other hand moving to touch Sebastian's upper arm. He needed to bite the bullet, to stop being afraid. He didn't know how to start, deciding finally to just dive in. "Did you have a good…I mean..." he cursed himself for faltering. "...except for…" he swallowed and started again. "I had a wonderful visit…thank you so much."

Sebastian gave him a wan smile before he leaned to kiss the top of Blaine's head, looking off at Sacré Coeur in the distance. "We did what we could," he added, sounding more grave as he turned them to begin their walk towards the Champs D'Elysees.

Blaine leaned up to kiss his cheek, hoping he looked supportive, but not pitying. "All I'm ever going to need is us doing what we can."

 _But you deserve so much more._ Sebastian looked a little guilty, but said nothing. He held Blaine closely, but without great purpose, before leading them on towards the most beautiful avenue in the world.

…

It was Blaine's turn to lead the Olympic trying-too-hard competition. He talked steadily through the day about everything he loved about Paris. When he wore out that subject, he talked about the potential opportunities that would come from Sebastian's internship and Blaine's program at UCLA. He went on to plan their upcoming visit to Ohio - even though they had talked about both at length during the first week of their vacation. Sebastian made adequate responses and asked questions, but it the conversation continued to be missing the liveliness and the intimacy days that felt very long past. Blaine wished desperately they could recapture the magic but he just didn't know how.

At lunch was Blaine reviewing what he and Sam would be doing on their backpacking trip, which finally got Sebastian to speak up with a little more energy:

"You have to talk Sam into skipping the Uffizi. I know every Florence website and guidebook say how important it is, but I will tell you I have never been in a bigger snoozefest of a museum. Just go see the Duomo, shop for paper and leather, see David…" He looked down at Blaine, his brow furrowed, before he continued sternly. "Actually, don't see David. You aren't allowed to see David for the first time without me. I'll fly back at the end of my internship to see it with you."

"What?" Blaine looked a little amazed. He felt himself scrambling to stay calm at these glimmers that his old Sebastian possibly might be coming back to him. "You're crazy. I'm meeting you in Ohio - it would be insane for you to fly back just see it with me."

Sebastian shrugged. "Or we can do it some time we go to Italy together. But you're not allowed to see that man with me."

"It's a statue, not a man," replied Blaine, "Which means he can't steal me from you," he added with saucy look he hadn't used all week.

"I'm not the jealous type," Sebastian lied, rolling his eyes. "And David's much more than a statue…" he scoffed. "He's not overrated in the least. You'll understand when you see him…when _we_ see him. Because no, you absolutely cannot experience Michelangelo's greatest masterpiece for the first time with the three Haggis Hounds. Can't happen."

"Hah, I'm not going to tell Liam you called him that…" Blaine chuckled, feeling shaky with happiness. Sebastian was talking about their future. This thing he was feeling between them, it wouldn't sink them.

Encouraged, Blaine dived into the rest of the afternoon with even more nervous enthusiasm. Sebastian was also still trying too hard, in his own more seriously determined way. They did find a quiet respite from their mutual efforts in the face of the Water Lilies, the remarkable Claude Monet paintings. In contrast to the much larger and busier Louvre and Musee d'Orsay museums, Blaine and Sebastian managed to catch a quiet moment at the Musee de Orangerie, whose much smaller collection housed the evocative masterpieces. The time they spent there was not unlike their time at The Cloisters in New York. This time they weren't submerging themselves into a time and place, but rather transcended both as they got lost in the color, the ethereal effect, the all-encompassing experience of being surrounded by the beautiful murals.

[ x ](https://theculturetrip.com/europe/france/paris/articles/the-5-best-places-to-see-monet-s-art-in-paris/)

When they finally finished Blaine realized they had lost track of time and the boat rentals to the Temple of Love had closed for day. Undeterred, he decided to simply extend his stay an extra da - he could propose to Sebastian tomorrow instead of this evening. When he told Sebastian he wanted to stay an extra day, his lover simply nodded at the news, which was underwhelming to say the least.

Perhaps noting his crestfallen face, Sebastian suggested that they beg off dinner with the Evanses and shop for their evening clothes nearby, rather than cross town to return to the house to change. He took Blaine to the nearby Galeries Lafayette - "the Bloomingdales of Paris," he explained. There he helped Blaine pick out a gorgeous dress shirt, a pale green tie, and a light gray blazer made of the most gossamer, fine summer wool he'd ever felt. Blaine knew the prices must be exorbitant, but Sebastian snapped off the tags before he could see and insisted on paying. "The only reason you're getting this is because I'm too lazy to go home to change."

While Blaine was trying on clothes, Sebastian called Sam to tell him about their new plan. He reported that Sam still planned to leave for Barcelona on Saturday afternoon as they originally planned, after they had dropped Stacey and Stevie to the airport. Blaine was very happy to hear this - this way, on Saturday night, Blaine would have Sebastian at the house to himself.

Sebastian chose his own evening wear, a beautiful flax linen summer suit, arranging to have their day clothes messengered home. Not to be outdone, Blaine took the charge of sustaining their conversations through their sumptuous dinner. Blaine led them bravely through what he hoped were sparkling conversations about cooking, restaurants, celebrity chefs, reality shows and baking. It was three hours of tremulous smiles and awkward pauses through a three hour, eight course dinner at Pur' - Jean-Francois Rouquette.

As they made their way to the Paris Opera house, Blaine prayed that the arts would save them again. It wasn't long before it seemed like his prayers were answered. When he shared that his planned surprise was a night at Prokokiev's ballet _Romeo and Juliet_ , Sebastian not only looked pleased, but Blaine felt a thrill run through him when he got actual snark, too. "A ballet at the Palais Garnier is a must-see, but really, The Two Dead Idiots of Verona? And you should have told me you wanted to see the ballet, my mom could have gotten us box seats, she's on the board."

Blaine internally thanked Shakespeare and Prokokiev. "These seats are fine. Now why do you have to hate on Romeo and Juliet? It's one of the greatest love stories of all time! It was _West Side Story_ before _West Side Story_!" His grin was so bright that it was infectious.  
Sebastian smiled fondly at him and shook his handsome head. "Romeo was a much bigger moron on than Tony – he proposed marriage after knowing that chick for what, a day? And what was he, sixteen?"

Blaine beamed back him, squeezing his hand as he looked up in high good humor. "Yes, but maybe that's why I wanted to see this, it makes my near-teen marriage look not so bad in comparison!"

Sebastian chuckled at that, and was quietly grateful that Blaine could now laugh at his cancelled wedding. He regarded Blaine as they walked under the arc of a street lamp - he'd certainly come a long way. He was really an extraordinary person. "Yes, we _can_ say that at least no one died at your near-wedding, unless you count Trent at your bachelor party. And at least you were out of the closet and you almost married a gay, even if was Hummel. Romeo was a tragically closetted bi, made even more tragic since his lover Mercutio was offed by Tybalt."

The Paris Opera House was stunning. They had taken the children on the guided tour and taken photos of the gorgeous façade, but going inside was something else entirely. The ornate gilt carving, five stories of balconies and boxes, endless stretches of sumptuous red velvet, the beautifully dressed patrons…Blaine was starry eyed at all of it as they headed towards their seats. Sebastian watched him, looking quietly pleased again.

  
[x](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g187147-d190204-Reviews-Palais_Garnier_Opera_National_de_Paris-Paris_Ile_de_France.html)  
  
As the house lights went down and the curtain went up, Blaine reached over and squeezed Sebastian's hand. Their eyes met briefly as they a shared moment that could only be shared by two people who experienced theatre, music and dance as deeply as they did. Sebastian actually seemed to exhale a bit as the beautiful, sweeping storytelling provided escape from all that still haunted his mind. Like with the movies, or the music in a club, or the Cloisters or the Water Lilies, he let himself let go for a few hours and got lost in it.

Blaine had hoped he would. He knew that between ditching school, clubbing and getting into fights, Sebastian had gone to the ballet with his mother. He had heard Sebastian talk with Jeff Sterling in detail about the differences between the Paris Opera Ballet and the Bolshoi, comparing and contrasting styles and historical influences. He knew Sebastian tap danced as a young boy and that dance was how he expressed himself – it was a language he was fluent in.

Blaine didn't understand ballet in any detail, but he got swept up easily in the music and was taken by the emotional resonance and the beauty of the dancers. He too, quickly grew invested in the story.

By the time it was intermission, he and Sebastian were still in a bit of a dreamlike state, talking about the ballet and not much of anything else as they went to get drinks at the bar. When the performance continued and the drama intensified, Blaine began to look very troubled for the lovers, knowing what was to come. Sebastian reached over and took his hand. Blaine looked over and saw that Sebastian too looked grave and concerned. It was, in fact, a bit of masochism to watch a tragedy when you knew the bitter end. But Prokokiev and the Paris Opera Ballet had created a lush, dramatic spectacle that one couldn't look away from, even if you tried.

After they returned home, Blaine brushed his teeth while Sebastian changed. He got into his pajamas next, while Sebastian brushed his teeth. Turning away from the bureau, he surveyed the lovely bedroom he'd grown accustomed to. Then he turned on his Ipad and found a track of the second Pas De Deux [dance for two] from the ballet they had just seen – the bedroom scene.

 _[Do yourself a favor and at least listen to this as you keep reading:[http://youtube.com](http://youtube.com/watch?v=fKoyGUf-QLs)_ [ /watch?v=fKoyGUf-QLs ](http://youtube.com/watch?v=fKoyGUf-QLs) _]_

Unlike most classical ballets, Prokokiev gave the Pas De Deux such importance that it was given the central "Romeo and Juliet theme." Played over Sebastian's top of the line speakers, Blaine felt like he was back at the Palais Garnier with the orchestra. He crossed the room to stand by the window and let the music take him away again with its rhapsodic romance. He stared out at the moon, framed by a chestnut tree. The waving leaves seemed to recall movements from the ballet – exquisite, sad, and moving.

He heard a rustling and turned to see Sebastian looking more gorgeous than he perhaps had ever seen him, his handsome features lit by the soft bedroom lamplight. His chestnut hair was still artfully coiffed, but he was shirtless now and the beautiful soft skin of his toned upper body made Blaine's mouth almost water. The low slung Oscar de la Renta pajama bottoms a mere afterthought.

Unlike other nights this week, Sebastian didn't seem sleepy, in spite of all the wine they had had at dinner. He didn't say anything – he didn't have to. He just crossed the room quietly and gathered Blaine in his arms before kissing him slowly and with all the emotion the music called for.

They fell into bed before Blaine could catch his breath from the first kiss. They had shed their clothes before the Pas De Deux was over. They could barely discern the music by the time Sebastian entered Blaine. With every press of their flesh, with every heartbeat, it was easy to forget all the unrest and anxiety in their hearts. They could forget about everything but the taste and scent and heat, the pull and the push that drew them closer and closer.

Afterwards they collapsed in a tangle of limbs, sated and exhausted, more from the emotional fatigue than anything else. Blaine let out a little sob as he buried his face in his lover's broad chest. Sebastian held him tight as he kissed away his tears. "I'll see you in just a few weeks," he whispered a little helplessly.

It was far more complicated than that, but Blaine didn't have the energy or the courage to contradict him. He just turned to lay his cheek on Sebastian's soft skin and intertwined their fingers, shutting his eyes to block out everything but how it felt to be held by the man would could be his other half.

Sebastian felt a steady stream of tears down his own face and he wiped them in Blaine's curls, willing himself not to shake or sob. Not wanting to figure out why, he breathed deeply for a few minutes, and shut his eyes as well.

And so they lay there, eyes closed tightly, until they fell asleep.

…

A knock at the door woke them the next day.

They were groggy, disoriented, and cold, having kicked the duvet off the bed in the night. Blaine was hungover and struggled to come out of his deep sleep. He rasped out, "Huh? Whuh?"

Sebastian just grunted incoherently.

The door opened and Sam's head popped in, instantly popping back out again with his eyes screwed shut. "Oh man, you guys said no shirtless sleepovers without locking the door! That sheet is not covering someone's butt!"

"Then go away or I will kick yours!" Sebastian growled.

"I'm trying to go away..." Sam's blue eyes dawned with realization. "Aw man, you forgot! You said you'd drive us to the airport!"

Sebastian's brow furrowed before his eyes finally blinked open. "Oh shit, is it? Fuck...did we sleep that late?!" he muttered, looking at his phone and leaning up to squint out the window. "Ugh...it's pouring out, we'll never get you a cab in time."

Blaine winced at how loud Sebastian's voice sounded. "Sorry, Sam!" he called out, rubbing his eyes.

Sebastian was up, morning erection and all, striding quickly to the dresser and pulling some boxer briefs out. "Parisians know how to drive in the rain, so we won't be late," he called out hoarsely to Sam.

Blaine was getting up and heading to his bureau, too.

Sebastian reminded him as he hastily finished dressing, "Remember you can't go…you aren't going to fit in the car with all of their luggage. I had to buy them another suitcase for all of their souvenirs…"

Blaine pulled on a wife beater. "I know, but I want to say goodbye to the kids."

The were downstairs and onto the driveway in a flash. Sebastian and Sam loaded the car while the kids hugged and kissed Blaine. While Sebastian hustled the children into the car, Sam leaned over the passenger door to look at Blaine with a hopeful smile. "So are you guys okay? He didn't go for a run today, eh?"

Blaine nodded. Now that he was more awake, he felt revved up and ready to go, like a runner before a race. He whispered hopefully, "I think so. I mean we didn't talk about everything, but I think we're starting to really move past it. Yesterday helped, it really reconnected us." He added with anxious determination, "I think I can make it work."

Blaine moved to hug Sam before his roommate got in the car completely. As they pulled out of the driveway, Blaine ran around to the driver's side and tapped for Sebastian to open the window. "While you're gone I'm going to run to that shop to get that length of silk for my mother. Do you want anything while I'm out?"

Sebastian still did not look as awake, but he shook his head. "No...I don't know. We really have to go, call me if you need anything," he said efficiently, rolling up the window before Blaine could offer a kiss goodbye.

Blaine swallowed hard, waving a bit stiffly as the car pulled away. Sam looked worried but he smiled bravely and waved more enthusiastically. After they were out of sight he turned, taking a big breath as Blaine took the porch stairs two at a time and strode across it. He would chalk up the lack of a goodbye kiss to the rush to the airport, he decided. This positive attitude was bolstered as he walked back into the house, looking around the beautiful home with an air of tremulous satisfaction. The house had a different feeling now that he had it all to himself. He smiled a bit, perfecting the scene by moving to pull a few wilted petals off the floral arrangement in the kitchen. He disposed of them quickly and got some breakfast for himself.

He ate it in the breakfast nook which looked out on the lovely garden and imagined what it was like to live in a house like this. More precisely, he imagined what it would be like to live in a house like this with Sebastian. He smiled fondly at a vision of his lover across from him, reading headlines from his IPad, barechested save a robe, sipping his morning coffee and looking like a sexy, French aristocrat. Blaine would learn how to make crepes the way Sebastian liked them, and would brew the right dark roast to go with the shot of Courvoisier, so that on mornings like today Sebastian wouldn't have to rush off without his morning coffee.

Looking out at a rosebush that looked beautiful in the summer rain, Blaine wondered if he could talk Sebastian into learning how to garden - then they would have fresh flowers without going to a florist. In all likelihood, Blaine thought with fondness, Sebastian would just lounge on a luxuriant chaise, drinking wine and reading a book while Blaine tended to not just flowers, but a vegetable and herb garden. There would be grubby, adorable children. They would be helping him perhaps, or just toddling about on the lawn…

The grandfather clock chimed in the living room and shook him from his reverie. He looked back to the gourmet kitchen of granite, chrome and wood and noticed there were more wilted petals on the flower arrangement he had missed. He got up and pulled them off, rapidly disposing of them.

Sam had left a substantial amount of cash on the kitchen counter, to pay Blaine back for his train ticket and a few souvenirs Blaine had bought for him. This was fortunate, as Blaine was out of Euros and he would need it this morning. He picked up the bills and decided to go run his errand before taking his shower. It would be better to shower after the walk, so he could be as fresh as possible for when Sebastian came back and they went on their important excursion to Temple d'Amour.

Blaine took a slightly shaky breath just thinking about it, his hand fumbling a bit as he put the house key and money in his pocket, picking an umbrella from the stand on his way out the door. Out on the street, he took deep breaths of the soft summer morning air and began to walk rapidly. Sure, Sebastian felt faraway from him again this morning, but once they went ahead and finally took the next natural step, if they became boyfriends, it would get them back on track for sure. Sure, Blaine and Kurt had called each other boyfriends after a month or two and maybe one date, but for Sebastian and Blaine it meant something so much more serious. Becoming boyfriends would fortify them, it would make them stronger for the next challenge they faced. And surely this grand gesture, getting down on one knee on a romantic isle in the biggest, grandest park in Paris, would surely start them off as boyfriends on the right foot. Blaine began to plan what he would say, and the details of what was sure to be, a perfect afternoon.

He was four blocks away when he realized that he'd left his phone upstairs back at the house, but he shrugged it off. He would remember what the shop looked like on Rue d'Orsel without having to look up the address on his phone.

By the time he returned from the shop, he was feeling more jittery and excited than ever. He practically flew upstairs, laying out clothes with care and showering for longer than usual. The hot water was soothing for his frayed nerves. He took extra care with his shaving and grooming as well, looking focused and slowly starting to rev up again.

When he came out and went to the dresser, he noticed his phone was there where he left it last night. He touched the screen to make sure Sebastian hadn't called.

He hadn't, but there were three missed Skype voice calls from Kurt.

 _Shoot._ He had completely forgotten about their Skype phone date. Looking at the time, Blaine dressed quickly, feeling jumpy all over again. _Shoot._ He couldn't blow him off, Kurt had left his shopping for Burt until the last minute because of him. But Sebastian was going to be back any minute and he…still was touchy about Kurt. Maybe he could just make the call quick before Sebastian got back, then he would tell Sebastian about it, explain how innocent it was once it was over and he could tell him exactly what they talked about. Or maybe he shouldn't even talk about Kurt. Sebastian was dark enough as it was these days, this certainly wouldn't help. Or maybe he shouldn't even talk to Kurt.

But Blaine couldn't leave Kurt hanging like that.

A Skype text came through.

_KURT: Is everything okay? It's not like you to miss an appointment._

Blaine decided it was better to just call, it might be faster than trying to type out his explanations. And it would be less rude, especially after he'd already stood up Kurt. He called as he ducked back into the bathroom to get his hairbrush, closing the door behind him without a thought.

...

On the way back from Charles de Gaulle, Sebastian had stopped for his coffee, his gaze as gray and heavy as the rain coming down. If he were to be honest, he'd felt like this for a week.

He stepped away from the counter and took a long drink of the scalding coffee, blinking a bit and taking deep breath. How long would it take for the triple shot of espresso to kick in? He certainly needed it, as he was hellbent on getting through this day.

He ducked into his car and put the coffee into the holder, turning the car on quickly to get the heat going again. He glanced at the console that displayed the time and date as he pulled his seatbelt across his broad frame. Their two week vacation had certainly passed by quickly.

He looked grim as he reflected on this long awaited trip, pulling the car slowly away from the curb. The first week had been like a fantasy, the second like hazy, uncomfortable dream. The reality was that he and Blaine were different now – he couldn't put his finger on it and he didn't know how to make it better. It was different than other times when they struggled – usually one of them helped the other, like when Blaine got Sebastian to cry after he had been a jerk to Kenny's grandmother because of leftover mommy issues he had.

The night after they had run into his two past fucks he had gotten good and drunk so he would cry with Blaine in his arms...but it hadn't worked. So he had figured would just have to follow the old adage, "fake it til you make it." He had focused them on the kids and Sam to distract from the shitty mood that had come from the Sebastian Smythe Slut and Pony Show. But it was clear yesterday that Sebastian had not done enough, and as a result, Blaine was still worried. Despite much effort to be cheerful and carefree, the hazel eyes had still betrayed an anxiety, an overeagerness to please.

So today he had one more Hail Mary play to make. It would have to work, it was now or never. He was going tell Blaine today that he wanted do the boyfriends thing. Blaine deserved it, especially after this week.

Sebastian chugged his coffee as he pushed determinedly through the traffic towards the elegant florist in an adjacent neighborhood. He picked up a bouquet he had ordered on his drive from the airport to the cafe.'

Staring down at the lavish bouquet roses, Sebastian headed back to the car, feeling nervous – a feeling he was not accustomed to. "Get it together, Smythe…" he muttered to himself as he opened the passenger door and laid the flowers on the leather passenger seat. _It must be the caffeine. Or…_

Suddenly something came to mind that Santana said last Christmas: _"_ What, are you afraid of getting everything you wanted? _"_

Sebastian wasn't afraid, he argued with a phantom Santana as he came around the car and got into the driver's seat. If he was a tad...on edge, it was just because he was gearing up to give Blaine everything HE wanted. Blaine wanted to have a boyfriend, and he deserved to have whatever he wanted. He'd been waiting long enough - he had wanted to after winter quarter, after all. Sebastian still wasn't sure they were ready, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Becoming boyfriends would surely wipe that unnervingly concerned look off his beautiful face. It would move them forward so that they could forget Sebastian's past.

Or maybe Blaine would decide becoming boyfriends with someone who had been in such a crappy mood over his whorish past was not the best idea.

Sebastian's face pinched at the disloyal thought. The odds were much greater that this was going to work. Because remarkably enough, even after Sebastian had slept with half of the gays in Ohio and Paris, even after hearing Sebastian yell at his mother who suffered from a chronic illness, even after all of that...Blaine still wanted to be with him.

But as he pulled away from the curb, it struck Sebastian that he wasn't exactly sure why.

As he drove through the rain he wondered for the first time if Blaine really saw Sebastian for who he was. Had his kindness blocked out the possibility that Sebastian had probably been a bad son more often than not? That Sebastian might be incapable of being in a relationship because he was just too much of an asshole in the end? Had Blaine's enormous capacity for empathy blinded him to the fact that Sebastian's considerable lack of restraint with men had probably hurt many than the doe eyed waiter they had run into last week?

All of these qualities in Blaine, combined with his romantic ideals, had in fact nearly gotten him married to the haughty, hypocritical, horridly outfitted pretender that was Kurt Hummel.

Did this thing called love, that thing that boyfriends had for each other, did it blind Blaine to reality?

Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Sebastian avoided continuing down this line of thought as he drove through the rain slicked streets of the city. Blaine wanted him and he was going to give him what he wanted.

Glancing down at the flowers that had cost him a small fortune, Sebastian wondered if there were enough gestures or gifts in the world to give Blaine all that he deserved. His next unsettling thought was that there probably were not. Blaine deserved more...

Sebastian tried to focus on something else besides how unworthy he probably was for Blaine. He stared at the rhythmic windshield wipers trying to create a clear view, a spotlessly perfect space for - only to be rained on again and again.

He was saved by the bell – his phone ringing with a Skype call from Rob. Sebastian answered on the car's bluetooth speakerphone. "Hey."

"Hey..." Rob's calm voice did not betray that he felt like had hit a jackpot. He stopped and looked out over the ocean, ready to focus on the conversation he'd been seeking all week. "You're a tough man to get a hold of..."

Something about the sound of Rob's voice made Sebastian want to go home. He pushed to sound natural. "Well, dead men are difficult to reach. You know what they say, 'When good Americans die...'"

"'They go to Paris,'" Rob finished for him before breaking into a chuckle. "Thank you, Oscar Wilde. But since when are you a good American?"

Sebastian smiled, more genuinely than he had for a couple of days. "Such rudeness. This is why I left you at home."

Rob looked fondly down at the waves. "You left me at home because I'm too poor to afford European vacations..." He changed his tone to a less playful one. "Sam wrote me that he's Barcelona-bound right now but you and Blaine are getting one more romantic day together? That sounds about right, you guys deserve that."

Sebastian took a deep breath. He really wanted to stop thinking about what Blaine deserved. "Yeah. So how are things with you, Sailor?"

Rob smiled wryly. "Cruising isn't a bad way to travel, but cruising with my extended family has its limitations. Violet's having a great time with her cousins, but that's a lot of borderline tweenagers for this old man to handle. It'd be fun to go with a bunch of friends sometime, though."

"You'd have to let me pick the line..." Sebastian answered, a little absently, the windshield wipers starting to hypnotize again.

Rob chuckled. "Of course. Any ship you'd pick would be big enough to allow hiding from Thomas as needed. But the casino, the music, the food, it's all pretty good." Rob looked encouraged as he realized he had a segue-way. "We just need a table of ten." He slowly began counting on his hand, making sure to include just enough other friends: "Jay, Thomas, Rebecca, Charlie, Pauline and Roger, Karen and me, you and Blaine..."

"Yeah..." The mention of Blaine brought Sebastian back in sharper focus. He needed to dig in if he was going to make sure Blaine would be on that cruise ship.

"So what are you and Blaine doing today?" Rob asked gently.

Sebastian swallowed, feeling odd about answering. Telling Rob would make it real. _All the more reason to tell him_ , he said, looking brave. This had to happen. "I'm going to..." Normally Sebastian was blunt to a fault, especially with his best friend, but it took some effort to explain. "I'll probably get a...I'll hire a limousine to take us to this spot he liked on the lake in Bois de Vincennes, the city park here. I'll have a table set there for lunch, with flowers, and I'll sing him a song and..." Sebastian took a deep breath. "I'm going to ask him to do the boyfriends thing."

Rob's eyebrows raised – he looked impressed. "That sounds like a lot of work..."

Sebastian let out a frustrated sigh. "Yeah, it is." Another call came in at that moment. "Hey, I have to go – the caterers are calling. I'll catch you later..."

"Ok..." Rob looked disconcerted – he hadn't gotten very far at all in understanding how his roommate was really doing. "No problem."

"Bye."

"Bye." Rob's mouth twisted to one side. _Hm._

 

...

 

Sebastian had to rearrange more of his plans for Blaine than he would have liked, but he was able to settle everything before long. Rob was right, the whole thing was a lot of work. All of it, everything for him and Blaine felt like a lot of work. But he had to do this, even if he wasn't sure if he liked it. He'd done this to himself. His thoughts wanted to go down the rabbit hole of regrets for the week, but he refused to give in to it. There was nothing he could do about it now, he concluded. At least Blaine seemed to genuinely enjoy Paris. And though he definitely regretted his impulsive "42" outburst, at least Sebastian was now officially an open book to Blaine. After all, honesty was vital to romantic relationships, Blaine always said. They needed to be open so they could understand each other and grow closer. So maybe this was one of those things performers sang about sometimes – a storm you had to weather. So yes, at least Blaine had enjoyed Paris this week, and at least…

They had no secrets.

…

"There you are!" Kurt said in a scolding, playful tone. "HALP!"

Blaine bit his lip and drummed his fingers anxiously on the vanity. "I'm so sorry. Am I too late? Look for _The Gentleman from Ohio_ , that would be a great gift. It's a biography about Louis Stokes. I'm so sorry that I missed your call, I just forgot my phone and…and this is actually bad time now...I'm so sorry. so can we catch up tomorrow?"

"Are you okay? You sound really weird."

Blaine said anxiously, staring at nothing. "I'm fine. I just…could we talk tomorrow instead of right now?"

"Sure…but why? Seriously, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, it's just...I'm still in Paris."

Kurt's brow furrowed. "Does he still not want you talking to me? You really need to just talk to him, he's just going to have to accept that you and I are going to always be in each others' lives. Phillip gets it."

"That's not it," Blaine lied. "I just want to focus on him right now, make the most of our last day together."

Sebastian parked on the driveway and entered the quiet house. Blaine must still be at fabric shop. He strode quickly upstairs to his room for a shower. To his surprise, as he reached the bathroom door he heard one end a conversation that made him stop in his tracks.

"Kurt, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but Sebastian really will be back any minute, I really have to go…I'm so sorry that I have to reschedule again…" Blaine said, looking as sorry as he felt.

Sebastian's breathing stilled almost completely. _Reschedule **again**?_

"Thank you." Blaine sounded grateful now, though still hurried. "Text me and we'll set up another time, I really do want to hear all about it...Yes, yeah I've heard of that place, that sounds great, we definitely will…just...now, I should…"

Sebastian couldn't believe it. He had been jumping through hoops all this time...for this.

Blaine's tone sounded sweeter now. "I miss you, too...I'm sorry. Thank again for being so understanding."

Sebastian's blood was starting to boil. He'd never felt like such a fool.

"Yes, definitely."

Rob was right. This relationship shit was a lot of work. But what the fuck was he working his ass off for if Blaine was never going to get over that fucking queen?

"I really have to go…Sebastian will be back anytime…"

Sebastian's hand raised to grip the door frame. His eyes looked like green glass. Then he took an unsteady breath and rapped on the door, his fist clenched so tightly that his hand grew white.

Blaine's eyes grew wide and he dashed to the door, inhaling sharply at the sound of a cold voice that made his hair stand on end.

"Actually, Sebastian is back earlier than you calculated."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back - I can't believe it's been almost a year. I've missed these boys...and you! Please say hello and let me know what you think...the angst continues! :) Thanks to Megan for the beta help <3


	44. Below the Belt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before it gets worse, it gets ugly.

When Sebastian turned, arms crossed, he was barely recognizable - the disgusted look on his face filled Blaine with dread.

"Looking for me?" Sebastian spat out coldly, though his face was flushed and his whole body was tensed with anger and shame. "What, did you think I'd be outside the door, hanging on your every word? Or preparing to kick the door in? Please, you've proven your worth now, and you don't merit any of that. So you are once again off the mark about who I am."

[ ](http://justiceleague2017dirzacksnyder.tumblr.com/post/104438672389)

[x](http://justiceleague2017dirzacksnyder.tumblr.com/post/104438672389)

"Seb, I don't know what you're thinking, but I was just giving Kurt some advice…" Blaine said desperately, his hands clammy and his throat dry. "We weren't…I didn't…"

Sebastian finally exploded, his arms unfolding violently and his green eyes practically emitting sparks. "BULLSHIT! I heard you hiding out in there, planning a date, you sounded like...like you've sounded with me!" He felt like he was going to throw up. "How many of these secret fucking conversations have you had?!" he shouted.

Blaine recoiled, but then rushed to answer. "Just that one! That is, I mean, just one conversation, and it wasn't a secret, I wasn't hiding!" he said desperately. "We were going to just get together as friends...but we don't have to, Seb, if it bothers you this much…"

He stepped forward to get closer but Sebastian brushed past him roughly, pacing to other side of the room, raking his hands through his hair. "Damn, Blaine you've gotten to be such a quick lie," he said, his voice thick still with venom. "I really have corrupted you." He turned to glare back at Blaine. "If it wasn't a secret, why didn't I hear about it until now?! You told me you were going to that fabric shop! And I heard you say that you were rescheduling AGAIN - as in you've talked before today!" His eyes narrowed at Blaine and he gestured violently. "Did you really think you could hide this from me?! Is this why you didn't want us to do the goddamned boyfriend thing after spring break?! You were trying to hedge your bets until that flaming fruitcake was ready to talk to you again, weren't you?!"

Blaine's eyes widened. "No!" he protested, his upper body starting to tremble.

Sebastian wasn't listening. He strode to the desk and absently shoved the chair out of his way, his lightning quick mind spinning out in every negative direction possible. "Or maybe The Poodle isn't being strung along?! Of course. This is the one secret the McKinley magpies has been able to keep, because they can't fucking wait for you two Fancy Nancies to get back together…"

He turned on his heel and pointed at Blaine again.. "You just couldn't cut me loose, could you?! You just had to try to come and take care of me and get an amazing fuck, you had to come get your stupid cuddles from me and be the hero, because I sounded like a sad piece of angsty trash to you. Well you can take your pity and shove it - I told you that you didn't have to come visit me at Stanford for the triathlon, either. I don't need you!"

Blaine had been reeling with every next word, but he finally moved towards Sebastian and put his hand on his arm to try to soothe him. "No, no, none of that is true! I never had any plans to get back together with Kurt, I only want to be with you…"

Sebastian looked down at him. Blaine still looked so aggravatingly beautiful. That beautiful face tugged at the part of Sebastian that wanted to believe Blaine. But he just couldn't. Believing that pretty face, getting hung up on that goddamned pretty face was what had landed him here, feeling like _this_.

He yanked himself away from Blaine's touch, eyes narrowed, arms crossing again as he moved away. "How can you expect me to believe you, when you have been keeping all this shit from me? When I found you hiding out in the bathroom, rushing off the phone sounding fucking petrified that I was going to be back soon?!"

Blaine followed him, still panicked and trying to make eye contact again. "I wasn't hiding in the bathroom! I just happened to be there when I called him back, and…"

"That's convenient…" Sebastian cut in sardonically.

Blaine pushed on. "I'm telling you the truth, Seb! You have to believe me…" He clasped his hands together, his breaths shaky and anxious. "But I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for not mentioning the call to you, it wasn't meant to be kept a secret, I was definitely going to tell you about it. I just...I waited because I know how you feel about Kurt and I wanted to tell you about it after the call was over, so I could tell you exactly what we talked about, so you would know how innocent it was..."

Sebastian interrupted, continuing to deploy skills honed by four years of debating in high school and his lifetime of fighting with his father. "If you knew so much about how I felt about Kurt why the hell would you be telling him in a fucking blind panic that you have to hang up because scary-ass Sebastian is going to be home any minute?! If you knew how I felt about Kurt why would you _talk about me_ with him?!"

Blaine knew how Sebastian felt about gossip and his privacy and his heart thudded - he knew that Sebastian must have been imagining the worst. He shook his head vigorously. "I didn't! That's not...I just was trying to get off the phone, I didn't want to upset you, especially since you've been so…"

Sebastian pointed, barking out in an incriminating tone. "Boom! There it is, _right_ THERE...you didn't think I could handle the news that you're getting back with your constipated ex! So you kept leading me on, because you feel fucking sorry for me! Well let me tell you, Blaine Anderson, you and your old money can fuck off - we surpassed your net worth and power years ago - _**no one**_ needs to pity the Smythes."

"I don't pity you! And I'm not getting back with him! You have to believe me!" Blaine begged tearfully, leaning against the kitchen table.

"Whatever Blaine, like I believe one fucking word from you." Sebastian walked to the window and stared out, gathering ammunition. " _You're_ the pity-worthy one..." He turned and looked at Blaine with a callous expression. "Between your inability to believe that your dad likes you, your inferiority complex about Cooper, and your never-ending need to be in a relationship…I'd feel very sorry for you if I still gave a shit about you."

One, two, three, four, Sebastian went for where it hurt and Blaine went down - sitting down in a corner of the breakfast nook and looking like he'd been kicked in the chest four times in a row, too.

Sebastian saw Blaine looking like a kicked puppy, but he refused to let it get to him for once. He raised an eyebrow at him. "What, did I hurt your feelings, Little Lord Geleroy? Something like if _I_ had Iied to you and then I got on the phone with Jay and talked about you like you were some sad sack?!"

Blaine looked disturbed at the mention of Jay. "I didn't say you were…"

Sebastian interrupted again, barrelling on. "What if I talked to him about what a pitiful people pleaser you are? How you joined every single last freaking club at Dalton AND McKinley so you could ingratiate yourself with as many people as possible, so you could be beloved? Or when you got a whiff of criticism, you made fucking _puppets_ for your entire glee club?!"

Blaine swallowed as he continued to take the beating, wincing and starting to curl in on himself.

Sebastian looked at what he was doing to Blaine and part of him wanted to stop. He could hear himself and it was too familiar. This was how he had mowed people down in Paris, at Dalton, at McKinley, and travel destinations all over the world. It was the version of himself that ruled by power, intimidation and manipulation, before he had turned over a new leaf after Karofsky's attempt. Even if he had changed his ways for awhile, clearly he could flip right back to his old self. This was the side of him that threw men and boys out of his bed like used condoms, the side of him who yelled at his mother. It was who he really was and Blaine should know it:

"Why does everybody have to like you, Blaine? And how can you be so stupid as to think having a mind-numbingly massive  bowtie collection is going to help everybody like you? You're fucking hopeless, the way you cling on to the eighty three trophies in your room, even the ones from when you were a fucking 1st grade spelling bee champion and MVP on the junior high school polo team!" Sebastian's dark smirk appeared and he started to pace the room again, his arms still crossed. "I really should blog about all this, wouldn't the world like to know…"

Blaine looked horrified. Sebastian couldn't be so cruel. He shook himself so he could interrupt before it got worse. "Sebastian, can we stay focused?" he pleaded.

"Really, I could write a book about Blaine Anderson, Robot Teen. Because you couldn't be satisfied being the perfect schoolboy, could you? You had to be the "ubergay," too!"

Blaine cringed at Sebastian using the same epithet Kurt had, so long ago.

Sebastian was digging out everything he could and not stopping for anything. "You had to take that freaking cockatoo Hummel under your wing and create your whole sorry Nicolas Whatever-His-Name-Is novel of a relationship, complete with a grovel-fucking at your glee club teacher's wedding and that circus of a proposal..."

Blaine was having gut-wrenching flashbacks. He remembered accidentally overhearing Sebastian venting to Nick before the wedding about a lot of this - but he had never imagined Sebastian could be so vicious as to bring it all up to his face. He spoke up a little more loudly, arms curled around himself. "Sebastian, we're getting off track. Can you just tell me what I can do for you to forgive me, to believe me? I don't know what else I can say, what can I do?" he implored.

Sebastian was looking uglier than Blaine had ever seen him. "See, there you go again, trying to even control how I call you out! I'm not your hair, Anderson, you can't gel me down into submission!"

Blaine looked frustrated. "Sebastian, come on, what does that have to do with..."

Sebastian cut in rudely. "You don't get to rationalize your way out of this, you don't get to dictate the terms of even this, you don't get to redirect me so I start to like you again. Just leave me alone and let me hate you! All this..." His long arms made a wide, sweeping gesture. "All this bullshit, is your fault! You couldn't ever just leave me alone, I was perfectly happy fucking every hot thing down the street, I was perfectly happy being an asshole...but no, you had to pull me into your little 'Love Me, I'm Blaine Anderson' zone! We couldn't just sleep together, you had to make your little index card argument about how you didn't want to be friends with benefits…"

Blaine's eyes were narrowing, and he stood up, agitated. "Wait, that's not fair, I wasn't the only one who wanted to start a relationship, you did, too…"

Sebastian turned to look at Blaine, then smirked. "Well holy fuck, my Ken Doll is speakin' up. How ungentlemanly of you, Blaine Anderson!"

Blaine shook his head, trying to stay calm. "I'm just saying that we both wanted this relationship...I don't think you're remembering correctly."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "God you're the worst opponent ever, you always were." He came over and got in Blaine's face. "Just FIGHT ME, Golden Boy!"

Blaine looked more frustrated. "Sebastian, you have to calm down and let's get back on track!"

"Jesus Blaine, stop trying to control me, just FIGHT ME...GET A BACKBONE! JUST FIGHT ME! COME ON..."

Blaine finally broke, retorting without thinking. "Oh my god Sebastian, can you just shut up for a second?!" He shook his head and covered his face in his hands. "Why do you have to make this so hard?!"

" _I_ am making it hard? You fucking lied to me about sneaking around with Hummel!"

"I wasn't sneaking around with him, it was just a conversation about a birthday present for his father!"

"You hid that you'd talked and you were hiding that conversation! After everything I've fucking done for you! I held your hand through _break up_ after _break up_ with that Fuckwit Drag Queen! I almost missed my lacrosse game so I could coach you for your UCLA audition! I've listened to you go on and on about every other stinking audition, I edited your college essays and got your ass on the plane to Scotland! I blew off my case competition team to take care of you when you were sick! I flew your BFF and his two rugrats here, instead of going to St. Tropez or Nice on my spring break, I went to that freakshow convention for you!"

Blaine looked annoyed and shook his head. "Can you stop being such a martyr and getting us off course?! And you know, you didn't have to do any of those things, don't act like I manipulated you to do things for me…"

"I gave up sex with everyone else but you!"

Blaine's eyes narrowed and his heart sank even as his blood started to boil. "I knew it…" he groused.

Sebastian came over and towered over him. "You knew what?"

"I knew that it mattered, that giving up sex with other guys mattered to you! You told me it didn't matter, but it did…" Blaine said, glancing sideways and huffing.

"I don't even remember saying that," Sebastian said flippantly. "Of course it mattered, variety is the spice of fucks! But I gave it all up for you, and look where that got me…"

"I didn't make you give it up! I told you that you should date other people last fall!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Please, if I had slept with other guys while you got over Hummel, what kind of knight in shining armor would I have been? You needed a Gallaghad so badly, looking up at me with those eyes, wanting me to take care your cuddlewhore self in San Francisco, after you jumped me in bed after The Top of the Mark?"

"I did not jump you!"

Sebastian ignored him. "We shouldn't have done this at all, I was an idiot to wait for you, to listen to your psychobabble bullshit. Why the fuck should you I have listened to you about relationships? You've had a grand total of ONE and I think you and 200 of your family's friends and relatives know how that turned out!"

"My cancelled wedding has nothing to do with any of this!" Blaine argued, rankled.

"It has all the same players!"

"That doesn't matter! This is about you and me. I should have told you, but you also assumed the worst about my conversation with Kurt."

Sebastian's eyebrows raised and he said dramatically, "Oh everything we've been through, yes! We've written emails and gone to a dork convention together!" He took his a hand to his brow.

Blaine groaned. "Stop being a jerk! We've supported each other through so much, we've waited for each other, how can you not trust me?!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Don't fucking turn this around on me, I trusted you, I trusted you too much." He looked pained and turned swiftly to go to the window. "I suppose I kept coming back for more because of how good we were in bed, but now I know that not even your ass is worth all this fuckery. I'm out, Anderson." Sebastian moved toward the door.

Blaine stared after him in disbelief. Sebastian couldn't be abandoning him. "You can't really be leaving me because of this…You can't just run away, we have to work on this together! And if we've screwed up you can't pin it all on me!"

Sebastian heard the shred of defeat in Blaine's voice and he turned back to him to jump on it. "Oh yes, I can leave. Tough break for a loser like you who can't bear to be alone, ever! But you have all your sycophants to stroke your ego, Tina, Sam, Scrummelberry, and you can take care of all of them, perform for them and the world so that you can get all the applause your weak and lonely existence needs...because god forbid you be by yourself…."

Something in Blaine snapped his fists clenched, his heart beat faster and there was a heated flush on his cheeks. "Why do you have to be SUCH an asshole?!"

Sebastian turned on him fiercely, looking wounded and pissed off at the same time. "You knew this about me – I'm an asshole and I'm arrogant and fucked up, but at least I'm honest with you about it. At least I'm not a tease like you, and at least I'm not a sappy fool over Hummel, the Flying Nun!"

Blaine was seeing red now. "You know, you're so high and mighty about Kurt, but you two share a lot of qualities! My therapist says you hate things in others that you hate in yourself and you are a textbook example!"

Sebastian looked repulsed. "What does your therapist say about _you_ , Blaine?! Does she see that you're a perfectionist because Cooper doesn't respect you to be anything but what he wants to use you for? Because your dad favored Cooper and worked instead of spent time with you, and because even your mom wasn't even around enough for you?! Does she point out that the straight-A's and tidy Brooks Brothers ensembles are just an attempt to prove yourself to them and world that you're perfect and worthy of attention?!"

Blaine lashed back, "At least I'm not turning _into_ my dad - if you keep this up, you'll BE yours before long!"

He froze, breathing hard, regretted the words as soon as they escaped his mouth.

"Fuck you," Sebastian spat out before he strode out of the room.

...

Blaine stared out the rain speckled kitchen window again, in such a completely different headspace than just a few hours prior. After having to take a moment to recover from the shock at his own statement, Blaine had chased after Sebastian. "Sebastian! Stop! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!" he called, as he sprinted after him down the back stairs, through the kitchen, out the door, down the street and around the corner. But long legged Sebastian had had the head start and outpaced him quickly. When Blaine rounded the corner, Sebastian was gone.

As he turned back toward the house sorrowfully, the tears he had been holding back during their fight were spilling down his face with such force that it made him glad that it was still raining. People might not notice his tears and maybe the rain would wash it all away.

It was a relief to get back to the house and be alone for a moment. After hesitating a second, he had gone slowly upstairs and lay down on the bed... _their bed_...and finally really cried, sobs shaking the bed with regret for mishandling everything with Kurt, for all the horrible things he said in his anger, for all the truths Sebastian had brandished.

When he was finally out of tears, he had a headache and he felt hollow. After some time lying in what he realized was an all-too-familiar position, he decided he wasn't going to cower in bed. He had stayed in bed for days after he broke up with Kurt the first time, and he probably would have again the second time, if Sebastian hadn't dragged him out of bed to go out to the lake. This time he was going get out of bed, go downstairs and get some fresh air in the garden, and wait. Sebastian would have to come back eventually and Blaine would make him understand, they would make things work. Blaine stared at the ceiling for some time before finally getting out of bed. When he glanced at this mirror above the bureau on his way out of the room, he didn't recognize himself. He wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

When Sebastian finally returned, he didn't look like he'd cried at all, and more importantly, he didn't look angry anymore. He came in the kitchen door and looked at Blaine. "I think I believe you about the Hummel stuff," he said simply, moving to sit down on a stool across the room, behind the kitchen island.

Blaine wondered if he should come over and take Sebastian in his arms, but it wasn't clear that this was the right next move. Sebastian didn't look very open or like he necessarily needed soothing. He just looked somber. Blaine came over and at least got closer, standing across from Sebastian, on the other side of the island. "I'm glad. I wouldn't lie to you, I hope you know that. And I promise not to hide anything from you ever again. And I'm so, so sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it, I just said it in anger…you aren't turning into your father at all..."

Sebastian arched an eyebrow, staring over Blaine's shoulder across the room at the window. "Eh, debatable." Then he looked back at Blaine and met his gaze, and he swallowed, looking a bit like he had when he apologized to Blaine at the Lima Bean long ago. But now he looked even more miserable. "I'm sorry too - I didn't mean all those things I said about you, and your family…I was just...trying to piss you off. " he looked down at the counter as his face flushed red. "But that's not an excuse. I crossed the line, that was completely unacceptable.."

"I deserved it," Blaine said earnestly, "I'm so sorry for not telling you that I was going to talk to Kurt. I should have given you more credit than that."

"I didn't deserve any credit, the fact that it set me off and turned me into such a monster just proves that you were right," Sebastian leaned his elbows on the island and intertwined his fingers, hiding half his face behind them. "Anyway, it doesn't matter if you deserved it...what I said about Cooper, your parents, bringing up the wedding...that was below the belt." Sebastian looked disgusted and glanced around the room to avoid eye contact. He looked at Blaine and said grimly, " I can't do that to you again." He got up then, taking a deep breath and saying in his matter of fact way, "I think it goes without saying that we still aren't ready to do the boyfriends thing."

He stopped to grip the back of a chair and pushed ahead with something else he had thought about in his long walk around the city. "I thought we might be, but we aren't, that's really clear from today - we aren't good together when the chips are down. We haven't been good all week. I thought that we could have a final last hurrah today and make things better, but that was idiotic to think I could just bandaid things with a few flowers…" he gestured at the massive bouquet on the breakfast nook table. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I got caught up in the romance of this damn town."

Blaine shook his head, walking over to him. He pulled at Sebastian's arm. "I disagree. I'm proud of us for surviving that fight, for being able to talk to each other now. I...I was going to ask you later today, but I was already thinking we're ready to be boyfriends finally. And surviving that fight makes me know it for sure. I told you in Orlando, it's okay to fight. There will be fights but we'll learn from them and make up."

Sebastian turned around and covered his face with his hands, moving them to rake them through his hair. "Blaine, this wasn't just some fight over me not being able to talk to you about relationship shit. We're talking about NOT TRUSTING each other enough. I know I'm the relationship virgin here, but you don't have to be Dr. Phil to know that is bad news."

Blaine was now plainly worried. "But we trust each other enough…" he said, pulling his hands around Sebastian's waist.

"Don't…" Sebastian said, troubled. "I can't think straight when you…" he pulled away and walked a few steps away. "We don't trust each other enough. I thought we did but turns out I'm a paranoid asshole that only needs to hear you say Hummel's name on a call before I go off the rails...I obviously am incapable of trusting you right now..."

"You _are_ capable!" Blaine objected. "Or you will be! I trust in us enough for both of us, it's going to be okay, I promise!" It was a lie, though Blaine didn't know it.

"But you don't trust me enough, either. You didn't trust that I could handle you being on the phone with Hummel," Sebastian said with resignation. "You couldn't even tell me about it happening. You're scared of me and that's not good…"

Blaine stared at him and it dawned on him that he was losing Sebastian. He whispered accusingly, "You don't believe in us."

Sebastian answered calmly, "I want to believe in us in the long term. We have to just wait and see how things go. We're just setting ourselves up for failure if we keep going like this."

Blaine looked frustrated. "Wait? What is waiting going to do?"

"It will give us time to think about this. Don't freak out, B. Don't be impatient, you're always so impatient when it comes to stuff like this."

"YOU are calling me impatient? You're impatient waiting for websites to load all the way!"

"I'm patient about us. I can wait for us to figure this out for the long term, but for it to work in the long term we have to keep things slow in the short term."

Blaine shook his head, his mind starting to race. He came closer to Sebastian again, looking up urgently at him. "Sebastian, do you really want to wait, or do you just want to let me down easy? Have you already given up? I know it hurts sometimes, that it was terrible today, but I swear it's worth it. Relationships are work, they can be scary, but you have to ride out the bumps, you have to have patience!"

Sebastian walked away from him, frustration. "Blaine, this isn't a _bump_! And this isn't even the only thing wrong! We screwed up by fucking so soon. I ended up being the fucking rebound guy after all! You never had space, I was with you everyday from the day after the wedding until you dropped me off at Stanford. You couldn't truly be alone like that, and that's what you said you needed..."

Blaine felt a stab in his chest, and his eyes narrowed at Sebastian. "Don't tell me how to what I was or wasn't. This is _your_ issue...you're not ready." He combed his fingers through his hair, looking vexed. Maybe Sebastian's mother and Kurt were right - maybe Sebastian was a commitment-phobe. He muttered, "I think you might be scared of making the next step, of what it could be to be someone's boyfriend."

Sebastian looked at him, not sure if he could continue. He felt sick to his stomach. "What we could be is what we just did, Blaine - and it was UGLY. We were tearing into each other because we let ourselves slide into something too fast and we cared too much and when it felt like it was falling apart we started bleeding out. If we hadn't moved so fast and I walked in on you and Kurt on the phone, I guarantee you that I would have been pissed off, but I wouldn't have ripped into you like that. I wouldn't have dared, because I would not have felt comfortable doing it...I wouldn't have earned the right to do that."

Blaine looked at him, his heart sinking like a stone. He couldn't believe this was happening.

Sebastian crossed his arms, pacing the room again and making his case. "We're exactly the clingy couple you didn't want us to be. Weren't you going to go off to The Highlands on your own? How did that meditation retreat go? That's right, it didn't. You came to coddle me and I fucking loved it.

"We shot ourselves in the foot to start - Rob and even Sam told us that we looked like idiots fall quarter, mooning over emails and Skype calls five minutes after you broke up with Hummel. Then we wrote ourselves quite a romance, building ourselves up like we were some perfect couple, with all of our make-believe stories about the version of us that had nine perfect, romantic dates before we slept together? When the reality is we started off 12 weeks after your break-up practically fucking each other under a tree in the snow and 3 months later humping each other to the beat of a Prince song from a nouveau trash party? We've been deluding ourselves into thinking we've been doing this right. I think we need to reset. Maybe we should let you get through a quarter to school, give you a chance to establish yourself at UCLA, we could check in at Christmas about the boyfriend thing..."

Blaine's eyes widened in disbelief. "Christmas?" he said slowly.

There was a long pause and Sebastian couldn't read Blaine's face for once...until he saw what could only be called bitterness darken his lover's handsome features.

Blaine finally spoke again. "Or at Christmas will we decide to wait until spring break? And at spring break we'll decide summer is the right time!" His cold sarcasm turned into heated anger. "When are we ever going to be ready to do this for real? We can't be scared off from starting because we had a fight. There will be fights, but we'll learn from them and make up!" Blaine didn't even know why he was saying these things, Sebastian's expression of cool decision was one that never wavered. Never. "You're just overthinking this!" he argued, the pain and frustration bleeding through his skin. "Seb, what are you afraid of?! Are you in or are you out? I don't want to wait anymore."

Sebastian turned his head slowly looked at him with unbelieving eyes and his expression morphed from frustration to growing anger. He couldn't believe his ears. "YOU don't want to wait anymore? That's rich, Blaine. I waited for you to come back to Dalton; I waited for you to stop hating yourself because you cheated on Kurt; I waited for you to get over your crush on Sam; I waited for you to come to your senses and break your engagement; I waited for you to get over breaking your engagement and cancelled wedding and the lord fucking knows I waited for what felt like an eternity for you to get over Kurt; I waited for you to adjust to living abroad; I waited for you to spend time alone and to feel stronger from that (it's not my fault you didn't do that). I waited for you for what's felt like my whole life. And now YOU don't want to wait anymore? That's really fucking rich."

Blaine flinched with every sentence but was not taken down. He was frankly furious now. "I'm sorry that you had to wait for me to realize how I feel about you, but that's not the same thing as this! And I'm sorry I wasn't able to snap my fingers and move on from Kurt just like that! But as soon as I realized I...cared about you that way, I was willing to be in a relationship with you! A REAL relationship! Not...whatever the heck we've been doing!" There was a sense of release, all the pent up frustration about their relationship came pouring out. "I don't want to just be the guy you're dating. I want a relationship where I get to call you my boyfriend, I don't think that's too much to ask after ALL this time! I want a relationship where…" Blaine's heart rose to his throat but he mustered all of his courage to say it. "I want a relationship where I'm not afraid to say I love you." His eyes grew accusatory. "I want a relationship where YOU'RE not afraid to say you love me."

Sebastian stared at him, looking like his head might explode.

Blaine wasn't done. "I haven't heard you say anything close to the word love - it's like you're allergic to the word. You don't even sign your emails with that scary word!"

"Well of course I…" Sebastian was thrown. His eyes were unreadable and his body stilled. His mouth opened slowly. "I'm not afr…"

Fear and anger flashed through Blaine's eyes. "God, you can't even say it when I'm DRAGGING it out of you. Well, guess what, Sebastian - I love you. I'm not going to be afraid to say it anymore. It hit me under the Town Tree last Christmas, that I love you. But then we made love and somehow, SOMEHOW you talked me into being scared of us! I don't want to wait anymore for us to be perfectly ready. I don't want to wait anymore for you to check off all the boxes on some excel spreadsheet of relationship prerequisites you keep making up. I don't want to wait anymore for you to stop being a chicken shit!"

Sebastian shot back, "I'm not afraid, I just know we aren't ready to get serious. I don't see how that has to have anything to do with whether we love each other. Didn't you hear us at each other's throats today? I don't have to be a relationship genius to know that that is not what a couple is supposed to sound like. We weren't just fighting, we were going for the jugular! I can't do that to you again, I WON'T do that to us again - you deserve better. We need to slow down, to make sure we can do this right…"

Blaine was barely listening.  "You sound like a recording: 'slow down, slow down.' What does that even mean? How many times do I have to remind you that we can't control what we feel?!" Blaine was so angry that his tears were back again. "NO. I can't do this anymore. I need your full commitment and even more importantly I need you to make some real steps to show me we're going to make this happen. Because otherwise I'm just in this painful purgatory where I'm wondering if and how we're going to happen. I can't be your let's-see-if-Sebastian-can-do-this-right-guy. I can't be your relationship training wheels..."

"Relationship training wheels?!" Sebastian's eyes flashed with anger again. "Could you be more condescending?!"

Blaine froze, and started to deflate. "Those were the wrong words. I'm...I'm sorry," he said awkwardly.

There was a pregnant pause. Blaine swallowed and sat down at the table, putting his head face down on his forearm. After several moments he finally spoke up. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we're not ready…"

Sebastian looked at him expectantly. His voice was thick with relief. "Babe you won't regret this. So we'll just take a breath over the summer…"

Blaine's sat up straighter and turned to look at Sebastian. He shook his head. "No. I think we should take a real break. I don't think we should talk for awhile. Not until you're ready to be boyfriends or I'm ready to be with you at this...at this slow pace you are insisting on. I can't force you to take a leap of faith that you're not ready to take. Neither of us is wrong or right, we're just...different." He looked like he was thinking, like the wheels in his handsome head were turning slowly, with but increasing steadiness. "My dad used to talk to Cooper and I about this..when he taught us about investments. Some people are just more risk averse than others. I am willing to take a risk to get a great return on love...and you...you're not comfortable with the risk you feel like we'd be taking at this point. You don't believe in us enough yet." _You're too afraid._

Sebastian stared at him. This couldn't be happening. "But..."

Blaine's voice shook. "No, Sebastian. No 'buts,' no arguments, no more 'being smart' or analyzing the problem to come up with the optimal solution like in your Stanford classes or case studies. I can't do this anymore. You're right. We can't keep hurting each other."

Sebastian's jaw dropped slightly open. "But I didn't mean…"

Blaine's voice trembled and he felt broken all over again. He steeled himself to stand up. "Stop it, Seb. We can't do this anymore. At least I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I'm...I'm going to leave. I'm going to...go to Barcelona." His hand gripped his chair and he looked towards the stairs, but then he looked back at Sebastian, hoping he would tell him to stay, that he would tell him he loved him, anything.

Sebastian stared at him, stunned, for a full moment. Then it came to him with alarming force. He hadn't seen Blaine look so upset since he had cancelled his wedding with Kurt. Sebastian had always sworn he would never, ever make Blaine look like that. He couldn't believe had.

Now all he could do was make sure he never did it again. But part of him was not sure that was possible. He and Blaine weren't working. He felt so disconnected from him. It was all so hard - excruciatingly hard. Blaine talked about getting through bumps in the road in a relationship, but this felt like a mountain.

Sebastian looked with remorse at Blaine as he swallowed and turned, walking to the door before he would lose his nerve. When he reached the door he turned the knob with a shaky hand, his mind struggling for coherency.

His green eyes were glassy. "I'm sorry."

Then he was gone.

 

 

* * *


	45. Getting Somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys feel their wounds: Blaine works on self-care, Team Sebastian goes into disaster recovery mode. None of it is too pretty. You're welcome, angst lovers.

Blaine stared at the door in a state of shock. As he stood there, motionless, it did occur to him that he could go after Sebastian. He could open the door, run down the porch steps and catch up with him. He could pull him back in his arms and tell him he was wrong.

He didn't have too much pride - he could run into the street after Sebastian and tell him he was sorry and that he'd made a huge mistake.

He could do all that - that's how much he loved Sebastian.

Except he couldn't do all that.

That's how much he had to love himself.

Blaine turned, his face ashen. He went slowly upstairs, stopping to look out the window at the landing. He felt a chill when he saw a tall, broad shouldered figure on the street tossing a wad of cash to a driver in an open horse drawn carriage. It was a gorgeous, shining, ivory and gold carriage filled with red rose petals and a beautiful picnic basket on the seat.

Blaine had barely taken it all in when he watched Sebastian stiffly walk away. He watched him leave, he watched him disappear around a corner.

The handsomely uniformed driver was laying an elegant gilt embossed sign down on the luxurious looking seat. The sign was lettered in exquisite calligraphy:

_Messieurs Anderson et Smythe_

Sebastian had ordered a carriage even though he was so uncomfortable around horses. He ordered it because Blaine had admired them around the city.

Blaine should feel swept away, rapturous even, at the sight, at the thought of Sebastian being so thoughtful and romantic. Instead, the beautiful horse and carriage just looked like a dream, like they were meant for someone else, someone in a dark fairy tale. Sebastian's words haunted him as Blaine watched the rig drive slowly away:

_...we wrote ourselves quite a romance, building ourselves up like we were some perfect couple...We've been deluding ourselves into thinking we've been doing this right._

Blaine stared out the window for a long time. Then he moved to call Tina, but then more of Sebastian's words came back to him:

_...you have all your sycophants to stroke your ego, Tina, Sam, Scrummelberry...because god forbid you be by yourself…._

[Listen to the soundtrack of this scene, "Breathe Again" by Sara Bareilles, on our soundtrack at : http://open.spotify.com/user/sebastianandblaine]

_Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back_

_At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?_

_All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one_

_Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns_

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

_I'll breathe again_

_Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth_

_And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view_

_Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart_

_And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore..._

Blaine usually cried easily. He never thought twice about it, even appreciated a good cry from a movie. He found it cathartic, considered it healthy, and encouraged his friends to cry so they could work through their grief, their sadness, their anger.

But now, when he had more reason to cry than almost any other time, Blaine wasn't crying.

 

  

...

  

  

  

Sebastian was crying. In the dingy single toilette of a questionable brasserie, hunched over a tiny sink, Sebastian was crying - hard. And he couldn't stop.

  

     

… 

_SAM: You heard?_

_COOPER: ?_

_SAM: Seb and Blaine broke up_

_COOPER: Oh no! I'll call Blaine. You're still in Europe, right?_

_SAM: Yeah, but I'm not with Blaine anymore. It's 4pm in Barcelona but Blaine's headed east right now. Let me know if you talk to him, he said he wasn't ready to talk and he told me to go on with our friends alone. He's going to Italy for a music program he found._

_SAM: He was weirdly calm. Idk if it's a good idea for him to be alone right now but he insisted that I don't come to see him._

_COOPER: Do you know what happened? What broke them up?_

_SAM: I don't know. They started getting weird after they ran into some guys Sebastian slept with in high school, but I would think Bas would know that he shouldn't be embarrassed about that. Blaine's done plenty of embarrassing stuff_

_COOPER: He really was the ugliest Lady Gaga ever_

_SAM: It just was weird, Sebastian got kind of distant and he was trying too hard to be a good host. It was strange like they didn't seem very connected, but they were still having sex_

_COOPER: Like angry sex?_

_SAM: Ew I don't know_

_COOPER: How was Blaine when Seb got weird?_

_SAM: He was trying too hard, too. But last night he said they were doing better and this morning he seemed really happy when I left so Idk what happened in between_

_COOPER: Maybe another ex came by_

_SAM: Would that be enough to break them up? Blaine doesn't care that Seb has slept around a lot, he was going to ask him to officially be his boyfriend today_

_COOPER: Bingo. That must have freaked Seb out and he bolted_

_SAM: Maybe...but the first week they were super into each other. Not in the awkward way like this week_

_COOPER: Do you not remember the proposal to Kurt? That would scare anyone off! Maybe Blaine released doves, maybe there were fireworks and cancan dancers! Seb might have been really into him but anything like that could have sent him for the hills, for sure._

_SAM: idk, it's hard to imagine Blaine doing that again. Let me know how he sounds if you talk to him. I need to let Rob know I gotta go_

_COOPER: Old habits die hard, especially if he was starting to get desperate again. Or what if Blaine popped out of a heart shaped cake dressed like Cupid and shot Sebastian with an arrow? Maybe they had to go to the hospital and broke up in the ambulance!_

_COOPER: What if he hired a company of dancers and their finale was Blaine on one knee in front of the Eiffel Tower and then an army of puppets popped up out of nowhere for the finale and it scared the shit out of Seb?!_

_COOPER: What if he tried to propose in that traffic circle around the Arc de Triumph with a marching band and Bas got trampled?!_

_COOPER: You still there?_

…

  

  

Santana sighed and looked up from the texts on her phone. She came over to sit next to Brittany, who was still in bed. "I have to go to California early."

"Why?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Because if I don't, we're going to end up stuck with that twink living over our garage."

  

  

[x](http://atsecondsight.tumblr.com/post/50072330585)

…

_ROB: Santana said she might be able to be there day after tomorrow, as soon as she can get her shifts covered._

_ROB: It stinks that I'm stuck in DC_

_SAM: Yeah, but Bas would kill you if you left NASA for him. It's okay, Santana should be able to deal with him. Who's living with him this summer?_

_ROB: No one. He rented some penthouse. That's going to be so depressing. I'll let our friends know what's going on. Jay's on vacation but he's spending most of the summer in SF and Karen's nearby for her internship. They're both 30-40 minutes away but it's better than nothing, I guess. Everyone else is gone for the summer. It's just as well, Sebastian probably wouldn't be able to stand anyone else, anyway._

_SAM: I can't believe it, I really thought they would make it. I guess long distance is hard_

_ROB: Yeah. And they had a lot of stuff to sort through_

_SAM: Maybe they'll get back together. If you get ahold of him, let me know how Seb is doing and I'll let you know once Blaine starts talking. We can compare notes and come up with a plan._

_SAM: I could call Seb, too_

_ROB: I wouldn't. You and Seb have a good relationship, don't ruin that. I don't think you want to go near him right now. Let me deal with him, he has to live with me next year, he can't chew my head off too much._

_SAM: Ok, you know him better than I do_

_ROB: And I don't know that we should make a plan. Seb would hate us for interfering_

_SAM: But our best friends are crying. Well at least I know Blaine must be. We should do something_

_ROB: I know it sucks...but some space from each other this summer might actually help_

_SAM: It's just so sad_

_ROB: Yeah. But it will all work out, one way or another._

_SAM: Crap we just missed our stop. I have to go_

_ROB: Uh oh. Bye_

_SAM: Bye!_

_..._

_KURT: Are you guys okay?_

_BLAINE: No. We broke up_

_KURT: I'm so sorry. He's making a big mistake._

_BLAINE: Please don't - it's not anyone's fault. It complicated._

_KURT: Do you want to talk about it?_

_BLAINE: No. And don't take this the wrong way, but I think you and I shouldn't_

_talk for awhile, either._

_BLAINE: I'm not going to talk with anyone from home for awhile. I just need some time by myself._

_KURT: Okay. But if you change your mind, I'm here_

_BLAINE: Thanks_

_KURT: You're wonderful, I hope you know that._

_BLAINE: Thanks. I have to go_

_KURT: Bye_

_BLAINE: Bye_

…

 

 

_ROB: [unsent] I'm sorry._

_ROB: I'm here if you need_

_SEBASTIAN: [unsent] I can't stp thius fucxinf cry_

 

…

_BLAINE: Hi Mom, I've changed my plans for the summer. Sebastian and I broke up._

Blaine felt a stab, but took a shaky breath and continued.

_I need to regroup. I'm taking the money you sent for backpacking and using it for a music composition summer program in Florence, I hope that's okay. I found an apartment: Vigna Nuova 5265, Florence, 50121 Italy I know you would want that in case of emergency. The program office # is (+39) 055-47781 and the apartment manager's office is (+39) 055-17761. Please don't worry about me, I'll be okay, I promise, I'm not going to fall apart like I did with Kurt, I promise. I'll write again soon._

Blaine's phone rang. His mother's voice made him want to cry, but again, he didn't have any tears.

"I'm so sorry, darling. Is there anything we can do? Your father sends his love."

Blaine looked neutral at the mention of his father - his mother was always speaking on his father's behalf. He wanted to believe her this time, it would make sense to believe - but Blaine just lacked the energy. His voice sounded as hollow as he felt, though he strained to make it as strong as he wanted to become. "I'm okay. I just need some time to...to do this on my own. Please tell Cooper to stop calling me and texting me?"

Mrs. Anderson nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry if he's been overwhelming you. Your brother loves you very much but he doesn't know what to do in these kind of situations, I think. And I'll make sure your father doesn't call the cavalry to go after Sebastian. But dear, it would be good to talk to someone...mother is here whenever you need, but maybe there is also a counselor in your program?"

 

" _What does your therapist say about you, Blaine?! Does she see that you're a perfectionist because Cooper doesn't respect you to be anything but what he wants to use you for? Because your dad favored Cooper and worked instead of spent time with you, and because even your mom wasn't even around enough for you?! Does she point out that the straight-A's and tidy Brooks Brothers ensembles are just an attempt to prove yourself to them and world that you're perfect and worthy of attention?!"_

Why did the worst part of their fight have to keep coming back to him?

_"At least I'm not turning into my dad - if you keep this up, you'll be yours before long!"_

" _Fuck you..."_

 

"Blaine?"

Blaine winced from the churning in his stomach before he refocused on his mother's questioning tone. "I'm sorry, what?"

"A counselor. Is there a counselor in your program you can talk to for support?"

Blaine answered faintly, staring out the window across the picturesque rooftops of Florence. "I don't think they have one, it's not a very big school. But I promise I'll check in with someone from time to time, you or Tina or Sam."

Mrs. Anderson's brow furrowed. "Yes, please call me or write me any time, day or night. And I'll write to you to check in, if it won't be too much of a bother. I just don't want to make the same mistake twice. I left you alone too much when you had troubles with Kurt. I just forget someone as mature as you still needs your mother sometimes."

Blaine's eyes finally welled up. "I always need you. I'll call you soon, I promise. And I'll take care of myself, I'll eat and sleep and keep clean. Please don't worry about me."

Mrs. Anderson's eyes were wet, too. "I am not worried about you, darling. I have every faith that you will be fine. You are one of the finest people I know, and I know you will get through this. Just don't hesitate to reach out, so we can help when you want us to."

"I love you so much. Thanks, Mom." Blaine said gratefully. He took a deep breath. "I should go."

"Okay. I love you, too."

"Bye."

"Goodbye, sweetheart."

 

...

 

Sebastian dragged himself out of bed. This was no small feat, given how limp his limbs felt, and how twisted he had gotten in the bedclothes. He was also pretty drunk.

The knocking hadn't stopped. It was only getting louder, to the point that it now qualified as pounding. As he got closer the noise registered as actually both pounding and kicking, along with a muffled voice yelling through the door as well.

Sebastian, who had only gotten up to use the bathroom, was too numb and exhausted (and drunk) to care about whatever was making all the noise. His green eyes vacant, he didn't even look through the archway to the door before entering the bathroom. However when he emerged, he did happen to catch a few key words.

"I HAVE SCOTCH! 40 YEAR OLD! FROM THE WARBLERS!"

He stared at the door for a moment, then moved slowly to open it. Santana stood outside, looking at him with relief and annoyance before she began to study him silently. His face was splotchy from crying, his eyes looked hollow from the dark circles under them. His hair was asunder, and his t-shirt was rumpled beyond comprehension. He was in his boxer briefs - Santana grimaced at the sight.

Sebastian's gaze on her was expressionless. After a few moments, he moved slowly toward her and Santana moved to hug him.

Before she could, he reached for the bottle of scotch sticking out of her shoulder bag, pulled it out, and turned to close the door in her face.

Santana rolled her eyes before she started knocking and kicking again, pivoting to glare a neighbor who had opened their door down the hall to look. "What're you lookin' at, slacker?! He just broke up with his boyfriend, what's your excuse for looking like a dying fetus?"

Sebastian had turned back to the bedroom, but he came slowly back to the door and opened it a crack before his plodding tread began again.

Santana exhaled and muttered under her breath, finally coming inside. She pulled her suitcase behind her and parked it in the living room. Putting her carry-on bag and her purse on an expensive looking leather armchair, she looked around the sleekly furnished, cold and impersonal apartment.

She followed Sebastian to his bed. The room smelled of scotch. In the corner was Sebastian's messenger bag, still zipped.  Next to it was an unopened, carry on Louis Vuitton suitcase. More central in the room were clothes spilling out of a larger LVMH suitcase, which lay wide open on the floor next to the bed, as if it had been kicked off. The airline baggage tags were still on the handles.

Santana looked disturbed as she looked down at Sebastian, who was prone on the bed, holding the bottle of scotch she had brought. He was probably too drunk and exhausted to even pour a drink. With some effort, she untangled the topsheet and covered him with it and the duvet. Sebastian made no movement to protest. Then she got into the bed with him, moving a pillow so she could sit upright back against the headboard. Finally, she took the bottle from out of his hands and set it on the nightstand, maneuvering so her hip was as close to Sebastian's head as possible. She moved a hand to smooth his dirty hair, saying with resignation, "Sleep, you big baby."

It took some time, but eventually he rolled over and put his head in her lap.

He lay there, eyes half open, until he finally succumbed to sleep.

_..._

 

 

_NICK: How is he?_

_SANTANA: What I expected. A train wreck. Just shoved him into the shower. He obviously got here 3 days ago, stripped down to his underwear, went horizontal and slurped 80 proof like a smoothie until I got here._

_SANTANA: Hasn't eaten anything. Hasn't even unpacked his toothbrush._

_SANTANA: I don't think he slept for three days. He just slept like 10 hours._

_ROB: Good thing his internship doesn't start until next week_

_SAM: Thank god you're there._

_NICK: How'd you even get in? Those fancy corporate apartments have security, no?_

_SANTANA: Ninjaed in when someone was leaving._

_SAM: Has he said anything about Blaine?_

_NICK: It's too soon for that, I think we need to just get him back to being a functional human again._

_ROB: Were you able to get him to eat?_

_SANTANA: Not yet. After the shower._

_NICK: Make his favorite dish_

_SAM: Santana can't cook his favorite dish_

_SANTANA: You can't spell his favorite dish. I cook better now. I was sixteen when I cooked for you, Trout. Things have changed_

_SAM: I spell better now, too!_

_ROB: Can we focus?_

_NICK: He may not want to eat. He was like that when his grandmother died_

_SANTANA: I'll force it down his throat. He's so fucking weak from not eating, he's not putting up much of a fight about anything_

_SAM: Make sure he doesn't choke on it_

_ROB: Tell him if he doesn't eat, you aren't giving him that scotch you brought_

_SANTANA: that's not a bad idea_

_NICK: it's a great idea_

_SAM: Rob, genius as always_

_NICK: Thanks for being there, Santana. I've decided that if I can't fly standby on the 4th, I'm just going to drive up_

_SANTANA: bring an air mattress. He doesn't have a sofabed and the sofa is legit cement_

_NICK: It's okay, you and Brittany should go down to San Diego early, anyway. You'll be so done with him by the end of the week. And Seb's not going to want to spend time with Brittany, no offense. I'll just sleep with Seb, that's probably better, in case he has bad dreams._

_SANTANA: Bring an air mattress. He's been strangle cuddling when he's not kicking like a motherfucker_

_SAM: Bas and Brit would definitely not be a good combo_

_SANTANA: Gotta go, gotta check on the creature from the scotch lagoon_

_SAM: haha. You're awesome, Santana!_

_NICK: You really are, Santana. Let us know if we can do anything else._

_ROB: Thanks everyone._

…

 

 

"Oh crap, I burned the chicken."

[x](http://www.gleeklatino.com/t13189p120-sebtana-lovers-fc)

"Not again…" Sebastian head-desked the dining room table.

"Hey, you're lucky I'm cooking for you."

"I'm really not," Sebastian said, getting up slowly to head back towards the bedroom.

Santana moved the saucepan off the burner and came over to pull on his arm. "You said you'd have real food today."

Sebastian pulled away from her. "That smell is not food."

Santana grabbed at him again and pulled his arm around her petite shoulders, pulling them through the kitchen door out towards the sofa. "Hmmm...this is good. Two days with me and Stella gets his bitch back."

Sebastian sighed as he let himself be led, more out of lethargy than anything else.

Santana sat them down and maneuvered Sebastian so he could put his head on a pillow on her lap. But not a minute after he lay down, he sat back up again. He sat up relatively slowly, but it was still quicker than she had seen him move in two days.

Santana arched a brow at him. "Lay down, dummy."

Sebastian shook his head, looking bitter. "No."

Santana looked at him keenly, then ventured to guess. "You used to lay in Blaine's lap?"

Sebastian didn't answer, just slouched and stared ahead, which Santana took as an affirmative.

A comfortable pause passed before she decided to finally dig in a little. "You're gonna feel like you're bleeding out for a long time, I'm not gonna lie. But you'll survive."

Sebastian didn't look at her. He moved slowly to lay down facing the other direction, putting his feet in her lap. He stared at the ceiling, wearing the same stony faced expression he had worn almost nonstop since she had arrived.

"You don't have to believe me. But you do have to keep getting up everyday and choking something down. And you have to shower so you don't stink," she said dryly, covering Sebastian's feet with the pillow. "And you have to be nice to Nick, even if he gets a little annoying, and you have to put on your douchey couture and get your skinny butt to your internship next week. You have to put on the obnoxious Smythe smirk and focus on that until that gaping hole in your chest starts to close up."

Sebastian just kept staring up at the ceiling.

Santana stood up, dumping his feet on the sofa. She crossed her arms and hovered over him. "You did the impossible, you got Blaine Anderson to fall in love with you. And then of course you  screwed things up - I'm not gonna blow sunshine up your ass. But I'm sure Curly Shrimp screwed things up, too."

Sebastian closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly while trying to shut out the refrains of falsehoods he had spewed in Paris.

" _All this bullshit, is your fault! You couldn't ever just leave me alone, I was perfectly happy fucking every hot thing down the street, I was perfectly happy being an asshole…"_

"Look at me." Santana waited until he opened his eyes halfway so she could look at him pointedly and continue her lecture. "I know you probably think you're gonna die alone, but we know that's not gonna to happen. Your pretty boytoy looks will get you tail until you're ready to try again. And next time, you'll get better at it. I'll be all over your ass to make sure you don't screw it up."

Then she took a deep breath and looked a little guilty. "I was wrong, okay? At Christmas. I told you to go kiss him because it just seemed like it was going to happen anyway. Sounds like it was too fast."

Sebastian's eyes slammed shut again.

" _This is your issue...you're not ready...Seb, what are you afraid of?! Are you in or are you out? I don't want to wait anymore...I don't want to wait anymore for you to stop being a chicken shit!_

" _...I can't be your relationship training wheels…_

" _We can't do this anymore. At least I can't do this anymore. I just can't."_

"Don't," he whispered. It wasn't a firm command as it might normally have been, but it wasn't a plea, either. It was just a statement. "Don't."

The phone rang, the landline that Santana had plugged into the wall again. "Saved by the bell," she muttered as she stood up to answer it and buzz in the UPS man. When she returned from the door she found the living room empty. Sebastian was back in bed.

Santana rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen. She opened the box that had arrived and then took it to Sebastian, sitting down in the chair next to the bed. She took a cookie out of the box and waved it under his nose. "Roberto's mami's cookies. And a note."

Sebastian took the cookie, eyes still closed. "Gimme the note," he grunted.

She handed it to him. It was a pale blue, extra large post-it note. He opened his eyes halfway to read it.

 

_Dear Sebastian,_

_Wish I could be there to tuck you in._

_This quote has always helped me when going through rough patches: "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."_

_We expect to see you at the end of the summer when Rob gets back. In the meantime, these cookies usually help with pain. The recipe was my grandmother's._

_Love,_

_Janet_

 

Sebastian stared at the note under heavy lidded eyes, then folded it and put it in the pocket of his hoodie.

Santana had taken the box of cookies and walked over to her luggage. "Jesus these things are completely worth the fat they will grow on my ass," she commented while she started a second one, putting the box on one side of her open suitcase.

"Gimme the cookies," Sebastian said with more energy he had shown in days, though that was still sluggish by any standard.

"Nope," Santana replied, pulling a bikini out of her suitcase. "Not until we get to the beach."

Sebastian looked at her, his glance bordering on a glare. "We're not going to the beach."

"I came to California to go to the beach," Santana said firmly, pulling out sunscreen. "And I can practically see your ribs, you're so damned pale." She went over to his bureau next. "So yes, we're going to the beach, and you can eat all the cookies you want there."

 

 

[x](http://watchingsantanasrp.tumblr.com/post/90094620119/here-are-over-100-look-a-likes)

...

"Slushy Warbler!"

Santana's eyebrows shot up. "Britt, don't call him that..."

"It's okay, we've all forgiven him. He as just a baby dolphin back then, finding his way." Brittany reached over and patted Sebastian on hand. "I'm sorry to hear you and Blaine Warbler had a fight."

"Britt…" Santana protested again, tugging at her arm. "Don't…"

Brittany started to stand up but she kept her eye contact with Sebastian's increasingly annoyed gaze. "I'm sure you'll be fine, though. I could tell the day you apologized to us in the Lima Bean in high school that you two are going to be Mr. And Mr. Warbler one day. You both smell like money and toothpaste and desperation. Plus the magic that makes your hair whoosh like that is definitely connected with Blaine's white rabbit."

Sebastian stared at her, eyes narrowed as he tried to comprehend her existence.

Santana took Brittany by the shoulders and steered her towards the kitchen. "Ookay I don't think this is what Sebastian needs to hear right now, Britt. He's trying to move on from Blaine."

"But he doesn't have to…" Brittany's voice trailed off as Santana let the swinging door close behind them.

Sebastian stood up and shook his head, moving to the bedroom to get the luggage.

When Santana came in, Sebastian warned, "San, you gotta keep her away from me. I swear if she tells me Blaine's my lobster I'm gonna fuckin' lose it..."

...

Blaine's journal entries didn't begin for eight days, and even then it was in fits and starts.

 _July 6, 2014  
_ _I don't know where to begin. It's like I've been underwater for weeks_

The heavy, dull ache wouldn't go away as he dragged himself through the days, finding only some moment of clarity during a shower, some sliver of comfort in food, some slight distance from the pain during long walks.

These walks would have been beautiful if Blaine hadn't been in such a trance. The golden Florentine twilight, the picturesque architecture, the piazzas, the statues and the bridges were just gauzy impressions as he passed by them. He didn't really see anything too clearly, except when an occasional lanky figure would catch his eye and bring his attention into a bit more focus. Then he always grimaced and broke into a run, in spite of the humidity.

 _July 11, 2014  
_ _I can't let_

 _July 13, 2014  
_ _This program is good but there isn't enough homework._

The evening walks ended with gelato at the cafe next door to his apartment building, and he stayed there until bedtime. He had gelato every night until he began to feel guilty and worried about binge-eating his way into an eating disorder. This made him think of how inexplicably paranoid Sebastian was about his diet, which sent Blaine back to the streets again, his headphones blaring a raucous song to blast any conscious thought out of his head.

He didn't get back to his flat until midnight and he collapsed onto his bed, not even bothering to shower.

 _July 14, 2014  
_ _My therapist Pam says journaling is good not just to work through your feelings, but to record memories you'll appreciate looking back on when you're older._

_It's hard to imagine being older now. I used to think about it sometimes, think about what an adorably skeevy old man Sebastian will be, and what a lovely grandfather he will be. I love what a study in contrasts he is._

_I need to stop thinking about him. I need to stop._

The tears came that night, though not the great sobs that had racked him after either break up with Kurt. They were just a steady stream, and after a bit he worked very hard to stop them. When he had, he rolled over, hugged a pillow and decided it would be okay to call Sam.

"Blaine!" Sam answered with palpable relief.

"Hey Sam," Blaine strained to sound natural. He swallowed and sat up, his knees coming up and his free arm wrapping around them.

Sam asked haltingly, "How is it...how are...howz it going?"

"It's going ok, please don't worry about me, I just wanted to hear your voice," said Blaine, taking a big breath and adding bravely, "How are you guys doing? Say hi to Liam and Scott."

"Good, good, they say hi…" Sam said anxiously, waving off their hovering friends. "I'm really glad you called, it's hard to know how you're doing from a text."

"I know, I'm sorry to make you worry, I just…" Blaine took another shaky breath. "I think it's better if we don't talk for awhile…"

"Why? Bro, I want to be here for you, like you've been there for me so many times," Sam replied earnestly. "I was going to say let's make like a regular time, every day, where we can check in and stuff…"

Blaine shook his head, saying stiffly but politely, "That's so sweet of you to want to go to so much trouble, but no, it's really not…"

"It's not too much trouble, I want to…" Sam interjected.

Blaine's voice was a little tremulous now. "But _I_ don't want you to, Sam. I hope that doesn't sound ungrateful, but I just think it's best if I work through this out on my own this time."

"Really? I don't know...I mean, listen to you. You can't work through something like this in your head, you have to let it all out…"

"I know, but I can do that on my own…" Blaine almost whispered.

Sam shook his head and continued firmly, "Dude, it really isn't too much trouble, you need your crew, we can help you get it out of your system…how about just once a week around now? It's perfect, it's after dinner for me, and soon we'll be in Florence anyway and I can come stay with you for awhile..."

"No, I don't think…" Blaine protested, looking frustrated.

"Is once a week not enough? Twice a week? Maybe we can conference in Tina… and Cooper maybe..."

Blaine finally interrupted with some force, his voice choked and shaking. "Sam, no! You don't understand. If I…" he tried to remember the way Sam had put it. "If I, if I lean on you, and Tina...I'll...I'll fall apart again I know it. Like after Kurt. But it'll be...worse, I know it." His voice was strained but very firm. "I just can't. I _won't_."

Sam's eyes were wide, but dawning with comprehension. Blaine was afraid to feel it all at once. That made sense. "Oh...oh okay, okay, I got it. Sure, sure, do what you need to do. Just know we're here whenever you need anything, if you change your mind…"

Blaine's grip loosened on his phone but his voice still a little tremulous. "I won't change my mind. But I'll touch base, I know I'll want to hear your voice, and Tina's, and my mom's...but just...I need to do this on my terms, I need to do it differently this time. So let me get in touch when I need to..."

"Sure, yeah okay…" Sam replied solemnly, nodding. "Anything you need."

 

Blaine heaved a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Sam. You're the best..."

Sam was glad to hear Blaine sounding a little better. He smiled a little sadly, trying to cheer his best friend up some more. " _We're the best._ Blam 4eva, right? I love you, man."

Blaine's smile was little wan, but it was the most genuine one he'd worn since Paris. "4eva. I love you, too."

…

Feeling more exhausted than ever after that conversation, Blaine shut his phone off and listened to music until he fell asleep. But the next morning he knew that Tina would have to be next - there were twenty missed calls and a dozen texts from her. Being Tina, he knew she wouldn't give up until she spoke to him, no matter what Sam said.  So he called her after class in the afternoon once he thought she would be awake.

"Blainey…" Her tone was particularly gentle and loving, and it made Blaine wonder if he would end up bawling before his next class.

He took a deep breath and trained his voice to be strong. "It's so good to hear your voice..." he said with a small sigh. "I have to leave soon for my next class, but I figured Sam told you about our call last night, and I just wanted to touch base and tell you that I'm really alright."

"But what happened? Did he…"

"It's not his fault, he's just not…" Blaine sighed again, standing up to wash out his mug. "I really can't get into this, but don't go hunting him down, it's nobody's fault…"

"Well sure, it always takes two...but are you taking care of yourself? I was thinking I could come for a visit? I could make you soup, and we could go to Tuscany and all the wineries I've read about there..."

"No, Tina I don't want you to come here when I'm like this, we'll do that someday, I promise...I just need to be alone."

Tina's brow furrowed. "Blaine, don't try to be a hero, let us help you work through this, I'm worried about you…"

"See, that's what I don't want. You all worry about me because you don't think I can handle this on my own. I don't blame you, I've never given you any reason to think any different. But I'm tired of being that person…"

Tina shook her head. "No, we worry about you because you're in pain and we want to help make it better - that doesn't mean we're trying to rescue you. Sure, you could handle this on your own, but why wouldn't you want to ease the pain and take support that we can give you?"

Blaine bit his lip, trying to gather his thoughts to explain. "Well you might believe I can do this on my own...but I still need to prove that to myself. I want to feel for once in my life like I don't have to rely on my friends or my boyfriend or…" he muttered what was next, "whatever the hell Sebastian was."

Tina pondered this but remained silent.

Blaine drew himself straighter in his chair. "I don't want to let myself use anyone to be my... 'emotional crutch' - those were _your_ words. You were right, I ended up depending on Sebastian too much…and…" Blaine's voice choked up a bit. "You see where that I got me?"

Tina was saddened by his words. "Ok, I get that, you're amazing to want that, but...you won't get like you did with Sebastian, not with Sam or me - neither of us are hot available gay guys. I'm just thinking of the first time you broke up with Kurt? You were all alone, you stopped gelling on weekends...you do have to let it all out and work through it."

Blaine piped up more firmly, his courage strengthening. "I can do that on my own...I've been exercising more than I did back then, all I did was lie in bed and wallow. I've started journaling and I'm going to keep doing it everyday and take stock of everything that happened, figure out what I want. I'm going start up yoga again, try meditation, and I'm going to use all this torture to hopefully write something good, I'm already learning a lot in this program. And I'm not going to be alone here. I'll still call you to touch base, and I promise I'll make some friends here, quicker than I did in Scotland." He paused, his breath a bit quicker for all these brave plans.

"B?"

"Yes?"

"I've never been more proud to be your friend.  God, I love you."

Blaine's face crumpled a bit, but he was smiling, too. "I love you too, Tay Tay."

…

 _July 15, 2014  
__I miss him. There, I said it. Not saying it wasn't making it go away, so there it is, in case getting it out on paper helps. I hate_ _that I do, and I hate_ _how much I miss him. But I'm not going to bury myself in it, drown in how much I miss him, I won't do that again. I_ _can't_ _let this break me, I'll just say it to get out there and hope this feeling fades._

_I don't see how it could ever fade._

_ _

_July 16, 2014  
_ _I can't stop thinking about him ~~when I'm trying to fall asleep at night, about being close to him and the way his body felt next to me.~~_

_Ugh I don't want to wallow_

_July 17, 2014  
_ _I need to follow a new schedule everyday, I don't think these walks in the evening are really helping. They just help me avoid being alone by myself at my apartment._

_Maybe I don't like being alone at the apartment because it's just a rented, furnished apartment. It's doesn't feel like home I'm going to buy a few things for it, make it more homey_

_July 18, 2014  
_ _It looks cozier, but I still don't feel that comfortable there. But I don't know that I'd feel comfortable anywhere right now, at least not alone. I'm just uncomfortable._

_I told my mom and Tina and Sam that I wanted to do this by myself, to get though this without relying on them so much. I told them I wanted to do this alone...but it's hard to do it alone when I'm so uncomfortable being alone._

_At best I'm a little keyed up, fidgety, always doing something to stay busy, watching TV or reading right up until bedtime. I'm not at peace. At worst, I just feel empty, I feel a bit numb and kind of paralyzed._

_Sebastian called me on this._

_He's right. Before spring break, I told him that I didn't like how I felt when Sam was busy with his deadlines and when he was busy with recruiting and school. I didn't like how sad I got because I was alone. I didn't think I was ready to be in a relationship when I was like that. I guess I was right._

_I was supposed to work on it before I got to Paris. I was going to go to the Highlands for weekends alone, and somehow, I just managed to not to. Then I went to Paris and I acted like I never set those goals to begin with. I set so many other kinds of goals, for school and my career and improving my performing and composing skills...but these goals, the most important kind, why didn't I just go after them and meet them?_

_I guess because they are the hardest kind of goals. So I let myself forget about them._

_Sebastian remembered. He kept telling me to go on that silent retreat, even when he was so troubled about the memories Kenny was bringing back, and how disturbed he was getting when he learned about the nicer sides of his dad. But I wouldn't listen. He wanted me to take care of myself first, sort of like when airlines tell mothers to put their oxygen mask over themselves first, before doing it for their babies._

_I don't know that anyone else will ever take care of me the way Sebastian did._

_(This is where my keyboard got a little washing courtesy of my tears. But I'm not going to get stuck there. If I ever show these entries to my kids, they should know that after those tears of mourning, Daddy wanted to curl up in a ball in the corner, but he stayed at his desk, and that alone felt like some small triumph.)_

_I guess I was thinking that the retreat wasn't as urgent - that Sebastian needed me. But maybe it was more that he needed_ someone. _Maybe that's what he was talking about, when he said we_ _are_ _were too clingy and dependent. He needs to be able to work through his stress with other people too, to let Rob in more, Karen, Thomas, Jay, whoever. It can't just be me. Or whoever his next boyfriend is._

_Well, that hurt to write._

_Tina said in her last email that I have to get myself in the mindset where I truly believe that I will never, ever get back together with Sebastian - even if, yes, there's a chance that we might. If I hang my hopes on that chance, it will take so much longer to get over him. And weirdly, I can't ever get back together with him if I don't get over him. I think I'm not understanding her email right._

_Anyway, there's truth to it, I think, so I've been trying to say it in my head as much as possible when I find myself pining for him or wondering about us, but I guess I'll write it here._

_We're not getting back together._

_We're not getting back together._

_We're not getting back together._

_We're not getting back together._

_We're not getting back together._

_We're not getting back together._

_We're not getting back together._

_Ugh, that was_ really _painful._

_The bottom line is, Sebastian doesn't know how to be in a relationship and I can't take on the task of teaching him when I'm so hopelessly in love with him. If I did, I'd end up wondering if he was doing something right because he means it, or because I told him to do it._

_He can't commit to becoming boyfriends, he's so scared we're going to screw it up that he can't take the leap. I'm not sure that I blame him for not trusting I won't screw it up. I have been as needy as he said._

_I need some gelato. Or wine. Or both. And pizza._ _And wine._ _Maybe I'll try that amaretto. Or maybe grappa will do the trick._

_..._

_July 26, 2014_  
_The new schedule worked okay today. I went for a run, had a shower, then I stopped at the cafe (there's a friendly dog outside of it) and had breakfast. I went to my program until 2:00. My teachers quite good. Then I came home for a riposo (siesta) and I do homework and type up my notes, then listen to a lot of music and wrote some. It's the classical composition training I've always wanted, the foundation for composing for Broadway, films/TV or even the radio. My apartment is on the top floor and Signora Bertucci says no one has rented the one below so I can be loud._

 _I still don't really feel myself, but it's not as bad as it was_ _three weeks ago or whatever_ _2.5 weeks ago when I got here._ _The food, wine and pastries here are as good as Sebastian said they would be._

 _I just opened my shutters to look down at the square in front of our building. There are flowers all around the border and tonight they are setting up an event so there are even more flowers. They're playing_ Time to Say Goodbye _by Andrea Bocelli and it's drifting out of the speakers and into my heart:_

Quando sono solo sogno all'orizzonte e mancan le parole  
(When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail)

si, lo so che non c'e luce in una stanza quando manca il sole  
(Yes, I know there is no light in a room when the sun is absent)

se non ci sei tu con me / con me  
(If you are not with me / with me)

su le finestre  
(at the windows)

mostra a tutti il mio cuore che hai acceso  
(show everyone my heart which you set alight)

chiudi dentro me la luce che / hai incontrato per strada  
(give to me the light / you found on the street)

con te partiro  
(with you i will leave)

paesi / che non ho mai  
(countries which i have never)

veduto e vissuto con te  
(seen and experienced with you)

adesso, si, li vivro  
(now, yes, i will live them)

con te partiro  
(with you i will leave)

_It's a song about beginning a life together, but the way it opens my heart makes it more about the beginning of a new chapter of my life. I'll let the chorus ("With you I will leave") help me let go of Sebastian._

_I absolutely can't articulate any more what I mean by any of that, but I know how I felt tonight when it started to play, something opened up and I feel stronger for it._

_I cried, but I didn't sob (it was more a streaming down my face thing again) and it didn't last long, but I think it's good that more of my tears came out. And while I think I'm still crying about having to let go of Sebastian, I'm also crying out of gratitude, gratitude that I'm finally feeling something else, getting somewhere besides sadness._

… _._

"Get the fuck out of my bed."

Nick chuckled. "Well, at least we're getting somewhere...you finally seem a little more like yourself."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging in with me through the angst (and welcome to the new readers, I see you)! It kinda hurts to write, but it had to be done to do their journey justice. IMHO where Blaine starts here is where he should have started after his first breakup with Kurt. But he was 17 and alone, so it's hard to blame him. It also would have done him good after the cancelled wedding, but Seblaine couldn't be stopped, it just didn't feel realistic for them not to automatically gravitate toward each other. Their chemistry - which is canon as you all know - would never be held back for long if they were both available, which would put them on a freight train towards true love immediately. The problem is, as has been my experience, that you can love someone but not have the skills to make a relationship work. Long distance relationships are even trickier. So I thought they were on the road to implode from the beginning of this story. We had fun on the way, at least, and now that the implosion is over, we can get back on the road again towards really making it work. This won't be a break up and get back together, break up and get back together, break up and get back together type story, though, I can promise you that.
> 
> I'm quite curious about what you all are thinking at this point, so please review with feedback, just be kind! This is a labor love and it's great fun to have you along for the ride. - Karen
> 
> P.S. If you want to pm me suggestions for the story or if you want spoilers, I'm at sebastianandersmythe on Tumblr, where I RP the Seblaine of this universe when they are 40 year old parents with two kids :D ) If you read that RP, however, know that there are some spoilers for this story in there.


	46. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes a re-acquaintance/introduction of a few characters: Karen, played by Starkid Lauren Lopez; Charlie, played by a younger but equally adorable Rick Cosnett; and JP, played by the versatile and talented John Barrowman. Hopefully you will appreciate the recovery of our boys and my valentine to Yosemite (I’m pretty much Jay in this scenario). There's a smidge of Cooper, Jay, and a good dose of David Jett (aka David Warbler).
> 
> I wanted to name this chapter The Mess Formerly Known as Sebastian and The Comeback Kid, but it seemed too long, hahah.

     
  
Sebastian gave Karen a surly look as he heard the sound of his French cigarettes flushing down the toilet.

Karen wrinkled her nose apologetically as she closed the bathroom door behind her.  “You’ll like me more once I pick up dinner and a good bottle of wine.  I’m happy to let you binge on chocolate and drown yourself in alcohol, but I’m not letting you get back on the wagon with the stuff that is as addictive as heroin.”   As she crossed the room for her purse, she studied his slouching figure in the bed, too listless to retort with his usual fire and wit.  It was all just so sad.  

She went to sit down on the mattress next to him, reaching over to cradle his cheek for a moment.  The fact that he even let her do that was a testament to the connection the two show choir teammates had built over the past year.  

“I’ll sing whatever you want after dinner.  Maybe you’ll sing with me?”  After a pause she stood up, not sure why she had even waited for an answer.  Sebastian had been very quiet with her the last three weeks, more quiet than she had expected after hearing from his friend Nick, who had been on Sebastian-duty before she arrived back from her service trip to Thailand.  Nick had reported that Sebastian had spoken far more with him than Santana had been able to draw out of him, even if it was mostly snapping at  Nick for various, baseless reasons.

It made sense as she reflected on it, from what she understood about Sebastian’s relationship with his high school glee club friends.  They were like a brotherhood, which meant that Sebastian would feel comfortable barking without a filter at Nick.  At least the barking was better than the grief-stricken silence Santana had witnessed.  

Nick also reported that he had gotten Sebastian to start watching TV - which was certainly better than Santana’s report about Sebastian mostly just sleeping or staring up at the ceiling in a drunken stupor.  Finally, Nick had been able to cajole Sebastian out of bed to look at the 4th of July fireworks out of the penthouse window.  It didn’t seem to bring much joy, but at least he had gotten out of bed for something besides a few bites of food.

“I’m sure it wasn’t all your fault.  It’s always a two way street, and sometimes it’s no one’s fault at all.  You guys did the best you could…”

“Shut up, Nick.”  

 

 

Karen came Sunday night as Nick was leaving.  Before she had arrived she had been a bit concerned if she would be able to get Sebastian to the first day of his internship in the morning.  When she came in, however, she was immeasurably relieved that he raised his head to look at her.  Sure, his eyes were mostly vacant, but the small effort was definitely an improvement to Sebastian’s total disregard of Nick’s arrival.  

Careful not to direct him too much or to look like she was pitying him in any way, shape or form, she simply unpacked her suitcase and ordered Thai delivery, which she hoped reminded him of better times.  The Stanford psychology building held a popular takeout Thai-restaurant,  which Sebastian and Karen had frequented together.   

It was sad to see Sebastian’s normally healthy appetite more or less gone, but at least he ate something.  Then the next morning he actually got up, showered, and got dressed.  Sure, all of this was at a glacial pace, and she’d never seen him take less interest in selecting something to wear, but she’d take it.  While he was in his shower she had gotten a triple shot Starbucks with courvoisier, and when he came out of the bedroom he took it from her without a word.  When they parted outside the elevator, he planted on her head - what was surely the hardest earned kiss she had ever received.

Karen slogged the one hour commute everyday to her own internship at Pixar, hoping that being able to compare notes about their days would kickstart Sebastian’s conversational skills.  It only did to some extent.  Her excitement about her first day at Pixar was probably written all over her face when she came home, so he asked her how it had gone.  She had told him while they brought Mexican takeout onto the balcony, trying not to ramble on for too long.  Though Sebastian looked like he was far away as he listened, he did ask follow up questions.  But when asked about his own start at Google, he answered very briefly.  It was fine.  After a few attempts to get him talking, she backed off.  

There wasn’t much progress in that regard over the next three weeks. Sebastian wasn’t doing much of anything besides dragging himself up and to his internship, getting home at 7pm to eat dinner, and going to bed to watch television while he drank scotch. 

At least his appetite continued to increase.  Sebastian was doing some comfort eating now.  Karen had been able to get out of him the names of his favorite childhood  dishes, the ones his au pair Teresa and his grandmother used to have made for him when he was a child.  

After a week of letting him watching action movies, Karen turned on the grittier musicals (Chicago, Cabaret, etc.) and got no objection.  She would work her way up to the more comedic ones.  Tonight, she had turned on Moulin Rouge, only to have Sebastian almost immediately get up and move to the couch, turning on a particularly violent action movie.  Clearly Christian and Satine had been favorites of Blaine’s.

The landline rang and Karen hurried to pick it up.  It usually only rang if someone called it from the intercom outside the front door downstairs. Sebastian didn't move or ask who it was, but Karen was looking relieved as she crossed the room to open the door and wait.

Jay’s face was covered in worry as he appeared in the corridor.  Karen left the door open a crack, hurrying to meet her good friend halfway.  He gave her a big hug.  “How is he today?” he asked, hoping for progress from the reports she had been sending him, David, Nick, Santana and Rob over text.

“About the same,” she replied with a small sigh.  

Jay nodded, looking somber as he moved with her to enter the apartment.  

Sebastian didn’t move from this slouched position on the couch, but he looked up as they came in, and Karen saw another glimmer of recognition.  She smiled a bit when Sebastian even uttered a monosyllabic greeting. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Jay said gently, moving to sit on the armchair opposite Sebastian.  

Karen turned and headed back to the door.  “I’m picking up savory crepes, I’ll get you some, Jay-Jay, I know what you like.”

When the door was closed, Jay looked at Sebastian’s profile as the movie played on.  He looked gaunt and exhausted, and deeply sad.  It broke Jay’s heart to see him like this.   

“You gonna stare at me all night, or tell me how your vacation was?  I take it Karen and Robert told you how mine was, or you wouldn’t be here.  You should go be with Dr. Whatshisname.” Sebastian hadn’t moved an inch and his words were quiet, but he made some eye contact with Jay and spoke less slowly than he had for a few weeks.  

“They didn’t say anything,” Jay said, ignoring the reference to Paul, the medical student he was dating.  He leaned back in his chair.  “Santana e-mailed me.”

Realizing that Santana had looked them all up in the Stanford directory, Sebastian rolled his eyes, though he still wasn’t moving.

Jay looked at him with steady blue eyes.  “How are you doing?”

Sebastian glanced over to the bedroom as he answered in a monotone.  “Ask Karen, we’re a lesbian couple now.”

Jay looked at Sebastian sympathetically.  “I’m so sorry,” he said earnestly.  "What happened?  Do you think there is a way you can still work it out?"  It was really a shame, Sebastian had never been happier than when Blaine had visited.

"No."  Sebastian swallowed and he wouldn’t look Jay in the eye.  Damn it, he wasn’t going to cry. "There’s nothing to talk about - I don’t want to work it out.  It’s not right, probably never was."  Sebastian felt his stomach turn and he thought he might dry heave.  He stood up and walked toward the bedroom.  Jay had a way of making him talk, borne over many study sessions in the last year.  But he didn’t want to talk.

Jay stood up and followed him.  He looked really worried at how green Sebastian suddenly looked.  “Come back, Bas.  Sorry, we don’t have to talk about it. I’m sorry, I just...” 

Sebastian wasn’t listening.  He was now sitting at the foot of the bed, flipping channels.

Jay looked between Sebastian and the TV, where he watched the channel guide scroll past _Remember the Titans_ in favor of _The Dark Knight Rises_.  Then he remembered something suddenly.  “You know what?”

“What...” Sebastian replied absently, dropping the remote control next to him, his eyes still trained on the TV.

Jay stood up and picked up the remote control to turn off the TV.  “You don’t need to be watching this depressing version of Batman.  God, DC needs to do something lighter with at least one of their superheroes.”

Sebastian stared at him blankly.

Jay shook his head at himself. “Sorry, you're not a comic book person, I know...”  He put the remote control on the dresser, out of Sebastian’s reach. He said simply,  “But you are a physical person, and I have a good friend who once got me to turn off the TV after my breakup and go for a walk.  Not that my breakup was anything like yours. But let's go.”

Sebastian stared at him some more, his eyelids drooping at the idea of exerting himself in that manner - or exerting himself at all.  Just getting through his internship everyday was exhausting enough.  

Jay reached for Sebastian’s hand, tugging at him a bit.  “Your lesbian wife says you haven’t been sleeping well.  This will help.”  He added with a slight, wan smile, “I’ll even drive us to Stanford, it’s more beautiful there.  We can visit the Burghers.  I bet they miss us.”

Something in Sebastian clicked as he thought of those Rodin sculptures that he and Jay had loitered around, on the way back from study sessions.  It felt like it had been centuries since he had thought about the beauty of the all the Rodin works around the university, the quiet emptiness of the campus at that time of night, and the one night in particular a few months ago when Sebastian helped Jay start to get over Derek the Douche.  He  glanced over at Jay’s face, which looked well rested and healthy after a few weeks of vacation.  Jay had been broken too, he had looked almost as tragic, possibly just as sad as Blaine had looked in Paris.  Now, he did look a lot better.

Maybe Blaine would get better, too.

Barely any of this registered on Sebastian’s face, but Jay saw the flicker of something in the green eyes.  “Come on,” he said, tugging again.  “Let’s go.”

Sebastian grunted, but let himself be pulled forward in his seat.  He looked like he was still on the fence.

Jay’s blue eyes grew wide and he tilted his head a bit as he coaxed.  “Come on, I’ll even let you call me all of your nicknames for me that I hate…and we can stop and get gelato...”

Sebastian glanced over to the box on one of the dining room chairs.  It was empty.  How had he not noticed that he had finished the second batch of Rob’s mom’s cookies?  

Jay tugged again.  “Tiramisu gelato with Jaybait…” he said in his friendly way.  

Sebastian slowly stood up.  

“One foot in front of the other,” Jay said, squeezing Sebastian’s hand before he let go.  “Fake it til you make it.”

Sebastian raised a weary hand in protest.  “Don’t.”

Jay nodded and looked apologetic. “Sorry. No cliche advice. No more talking.  Just walking and gelato."

 

...

 

Just walking and gelato was not enough tonight.  So Blaine went out to his balcony with his journal.

_July 27, 2014_

_It’s been too long since I’ve written in here; I’ve been good about my meditation practice but then this slipped.  I can combine the two (not meditation but my mindfulness practice) by journaling about this book I’ve been reading. I must have heartbreak and grief written all over me, because while everyone was packing up to leave the mindfulness workshop, my instructor gave it to me without a word, just a questioning look and a supportive pat on the shoulder.  The title is “When Things Fall Apart.” We covered a lot of this in the workshop, but there’s a reason why it’s called a mindfulness practice - I want to practice it every day._  

_Here is some of what stuck out to me in the book:_

_“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing...The  feelings and the thoughts around them, particularly the uncomfortable ones (disappointment, embarrassment,_ _fear,_ _etc.) are “very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back.”_

_I think in the past I let my grief take me down, unexamined, for too long, until  eventually I let myself be lifted up, by Sam and the glee club and last year by Sebastian.  And when I got up, I decided I hated those feelings and tried to escape them...I filled my life with distractions like all those clubs at McKinley or school in Scotland, submersing myself in the details of the lives of Sam’s friends and Sebastian’s life at Stanford.  I’ve always used being busy as a way to ease the pain._

_Ugh, I just realized that this escape to this music program was yet another example of that.  But what was I going to do, stay in Paris at Sebastian’s house?  I knew I didn’t want to backpack with Sam as if nothing had happened.  If I went home to Ohio it would have been too easy to let my mom, Tina, Marley, whoever is still around this summer, lift me up.  And I’m sure I would have found things to distract me as well._

_At least I’m not attaching myself to another crushworthy friend to distract me.  After my first break up with Kurt it was Sam, after the cancelled wedding it was Sebastian. Sebastian was so much more than a crush, though._

_Sam and Tina would have listened to me after the almost-wedding, spent time with me, but Sebastian was the one I decided I was most comfortable with.  That doesn’t even make sense that he would be, I’d spent so much more time with Tina and Sam.  Sebastian called me on all of this during one of those horrible fights - he said I made him my knight in shining armor.  I was paving the way to date him, getting as close as I could to him while I could.  I don’t think I presumed that we would have a long distance relationship, though.  At least not consciously.  I’m actually really impressed that we didn’t kiss at the Mark Hopkins hotel, or did more.  That was all Sebastian, trying to do the right thing.  He succeeded, too - the way he does everything.  People really don’t peg him right.  He has a moral compass, for sure._  

_We fell down the rabbit hole anyway, even though we were trying so hard to go slow.  Maybe we were lucky, in a way, that we were 5000 miles apart...if we weren’t, I can only imagine how much worse things might have been if we slept together last fall, when I was even more fragile than I am now._

 

…

  

 _“I only lived here from when I was eight to 16.  And you forget I didn’t have a childhood like you, with your birthday parties and ponies.  My mom’s not really a kid person. She definitely wasn't right after the divorce,” Sebastian said in his matter-of-fact way, sitting up to get a drink of water from the carafe on the bedside table.  Morning sex always made him thirsty._  

_Blaine’s heart panged at the words. He wriggled up to snuggle up against Sebastian’s shoulder and he spoke with quiet conviction.   “Well, we’re going to have a wonderful birthday for you this year in California.”  He drew circles on the back of his lover’s hand as the street noise was drowned out by the intimacy of the moment.  “We could go to the Top of the Mark again, or whatever you want…”_

_ _

_[_[ _x_](http://zephyrianboom.tumblr.com/) _]_  

_“Sounds perfect, Killer…” Sebastian said fondly, grazing the soft curls of Blaine’s hair with his cheek.   “We could finally go to the restaurant I wanted to take you to on our first date.”_

_Blaine looked amused.  “We’ll bring fire extinguishers with us.”  He looked thoughtful for a moment before he looked up with a delighted expression.  “Oh and we can rent a boat out on the Bay, invite Rob and Karen and all your friends!”_

_“Pauline gets seasick, that would be exciting,” was the amused reply._

_Blaine’s lip protruded.  “Oh no...well what else could we do as a group?”  He thought hard.  “Oh, we could rent those little four-bike things in Golden Gate Park... those... those…what are those things called, with the striped awnings on top…”_

_“Bike surreys,” Sebastian said chuckling.  “If we do that Rob and Karen can steer in front and we can make out in the back.”  He moved to lay on his side on the bed, stopping to admire how beautiful his love’s laughing face was before he came in slowly for a sensual kiss.  His large hand skimmed Blaine’s bicep, the side of his trim waist, and down to his gorgeous ass.  Blaine was so responsive to every movement, making their kisses grow deeper and their cocks grow harder._

_When they came up for air, Blaine continued planning happily, which made Sebastian shake his head and chuckle.  “I’ll bake you a cake.  And Rob, Karen, Jay and I can serenade you.  Oh and David, duh.  Nick will have to come up too...”_

_Sebastian looked like part of him wanted to get back to lovemaking but another part of him didn’t have the heart to stop Blaine when he was so excited and happy.  “Stop talking about Nick or my dick is going to soften up completely.” He spoke in a chiding tone, but he was smiling warmly, his face looking full of light._

_Blaine wished it was Sebastian’s birthday everyday, if just talking about it made him look like this.  “Maybe we could get an AirBnb right on the park.  It probably wouldn’t be as beautiful as this, but it could still be nice and more  convenient.”_

_Sebastian shook his handsome head but he was looking amused.  He lay his head sideways on the pillow again.  “Uh no.  No staying in other people’s apartments and using their sheets…”_

_“You’re sleeping in sheets that other people have slept in at every swanky hotel you’ve ever stayed at,” Blaine said, playfully tapping the end of Sebastian’s nose with his finger tip.  “Have I ever told you how much I love your little ski slope nose?”_

_Sebastian smiled, giving him a loving look.  “No.”  Then he smirked, his long fingers skimming Blaine’s compactly muscled bicep again.  “The washing temperature of a hotel laundry is 160 degrees, unlike the paltry 120, max, of a sad home washing machine owned by people so poor they have to rent out their homes to strangers.  Also, ‘swanky’?  Who even uses that word?  Do you think you’re in the Rat Pack?  Because not even the Rat Pack said ‘swanky.’”_

_Blaine raised his eyebrows at Sebastian’s teasing look, though he couldn’t hold back a fond smile.  “I think it’s better to have a hipster vocabulary than to be a travel nerd.  That’s not even an actual type of nerd.  You’ve invented your own kind of snobby nerd!”_

_Sebastian moved closer so he could grab a handful of Blaine’s ass as he started kissing his neck.  “Shut up, you wish you were a hipster,” he said seductively._

_Blaine’s smile made crinkles around his eyes.  “You shut up,” he said kissing Sebastian and rolling his hips.  It was always so deliciously intimate with Sebastian, everything felt so right._

The phone rang with a Skype call and Blaine, tears streaming down his cheeks, reached from his bed for his phone on the nightstand.  It was his brother, and he instinctively answered it, wiping away tears and taking shaky breaths.

“Hey Cooper...” he said, his voice as watery as his eyes.

There was a brief silence as Cooper’s eyes widened.  “Aw little brother, are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine said, groping for a tissue, tears hanging off his long lashes.  “I thought I was doing better but then I woke up this morning after this dream...it was so real...it was like I was with him again, I was on his mom's sofa with him back in Paris, before things started to go wrong…” Blaine closed his eyes, wanting to grasp the memory before it faded away completely.  “I could feel the weight of him, it was so real...and he was telling me I was going to be okay...and then my alarm went off and I woke up and I missed him so much…”  he let out a heartbreaking sob.  “And then I realized it’s Sebastian’s birthday today and I started thinking about how we planned it all out while we were in Paris.  I was supposed to be in California with him now - we were going to go to San Francisco to this restaurant where he wanted to take me on our first date…”  His voice was so choked with sobs that he was barely coherent.  “We were going to go to the Top of the Mark again…and ride these bikes...and now I can’t even tell him Happy Birthday, I hate that we can’t even be friends now…”  Blaine’s face crumpled and he tried so hard not to weep.  “I still feel so...broken, Coop.  I thought I was better...”  

Cooper opened his mouth but nothing came out.  

Blaine’s words continued in a flood of emotion that had been held back for weeks.  “I miss him so much that I feel like I’m dissolving...I wasn’t going to do this…”  He took a big, shaky breath to continue.  “I’ve been trying to call Sam but he’s been on connecting flights going home today, I keep missing him...I just…” Blaine’s face crumpled again.  “I just miss him so much… why am I still...”

Cooper looked puzzled.  Was he talking about Sam, or Sebastian? “You’ll… you’ll be okay,” Cooper said lamely, at a loss for words for once in his life.  His little brother had been so brave in his emails.  What could Cooper do from California?

 

…  
  
Blaine woke up from a wine induced sleep at four in the afternoon.  There were three missed Skype calls from his mother, two from Sam and five from Tina.  But more surprising was a Skype message from his brother, who had been a good, if awkward listener on the phone.  Blaine saw that Cooper had linked a song and he smiled softly.  He felt a wave of love for his brother as he recalled their conversation - Cooper had clearly felt out of his element, but that had actually helped.  He had been a good listener, a better listener than he had ever been before.

_COOPER:  Hey Squirt, I was in LA traffic and heard this song, and it made me think of you._

_I got my first check for that KFC commercial and I'm using it to get you a ticket home early.   Mom said you were going to be home in a couple more weeks, but I want to go back next week to start working on my memoir and I think you should, too.  We’ve missed you a lot this year, especially Mom.   Come back with me, it doesn’t make you weak._

_You can always come back home._

Blaine closed his eyes as he listened to the song, feeling sure he had never loved his brother more.

 _[Listen to “93 Million Miles” by Jason Mraz on youtube at_ [ _http://bit.ly/2rEttps_ ](http://bit.ly/2rEttps) _or on spotify at<http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2>] _

  


_93 million miles from the Sun, people get ready get ready,  
__'cause here it comes it’s a light, a beautiful light, over the horizon into our eyes_  

 _Oh, my my how beautiful, oh my beautiful mother  
__She told me, "Son in life you’re gonna go far, and if you do it right you’ll love where you are_  

 _Just know, that wherever you go, you can always come home"_  
_Ohh…ohh…ohh…  
Ohh…ohh…ohh…_

 _240 thousand miles from the Moon, we’ve come a long way to belong here,  
_ _To share this view of the night, a glorious night, over the horizon is another bright sky_

 _Oh, my my how beautiful, oh my irrefutable father,  
_ _He told me, "Son sometimes it may seem dark, but the absence of the light is a necessary part._

 

 _Just know, you’re never alone, you can always come back home"_  
_Ohh…ohh…ohh…  
Ohh…ohh…ohh…_

 _You can always come back…back…_  

 

 _Every road is a slippery slope_  
_There is always a hand that you can hold on to._  
_Looking deeper through the telescope  
__You can see that your home’s inside of you._

 

 _Just know, that wherever you go, no you’re never alone, you will always get back home_  

  
Blaine thought about how much Sebastian liked Jason Mraz.  Then he took a deep breath and gave into it - he let himself miss Sebastian, he let himself feel sad.  

Then, wiping his tears determinedly, he got out of bed.

 

_..._

 

David Jett texted - the Warbler alumnus was back in the area because Berkeley classes started about a month before Stanford.  Sebastian had always found “DJ” the easiest Warbler to be with, so he didn’t object to a visit.  When David came he didn’t say much, not to Sebastian at least.  He caught up with Jay and Karen and started coming as many nights as he could, often when Jay went to spend time with Paul.  

Sebastian was running every morning now.  Jay had basically guilted him into doing it, by convincing Karen not to leave after their nightly visits unless Sebastian had shown evidence on his step counter that he had gone for a walk or a run.  Since it was ridiculous that Karen had been commuting that far, now Sebastian dragged his ass out of bed every morning so she would go home every night.

It was tolerable until one morning he ran into their friend.  Sebastian had forgotten that Charlie had gotten a job as a clerk nearby at the local Planned Parenthood.  Cute, blond, and an absolutely closeted bisexual, Charlie was a pre-med classmate of Pauline’s.  He was younger than the rest of their crowd, having skipped a grade somewhere along the way. This made him literally a late bloomer - he seemed to have grown every time you saw him.  He was also enthusiastic about everything, and mensa-smart.  Sebastian usually found him amusing and kind of adorable. This morning, however,  he was instantly repulsed.   

As soon as he saw Charlie’s face, which looked like it had been freshly exfoliated with some kind of Kurt Hummel treatment, Sebastian ducked his head and hoped his hat provided camouflage.   

  
“Hey Seb!”

Sebastian didn’t answer, too tired to accelerate out of reach.  He looked urgently for an alley or storefront to duck into, but Charlie sprinted up to him, grinning.  

  
“Hey! Didn’t you hear me?”  
 

“Hey,” Sebastian said, his face neutral.  It was all he could manage, because he didn’t care about what Charlie thought in nineteen different ways. 

“How’re you doin’?”  Charlie seemed to register that Sebastian didn’t seem to be quite the guy he had left in June, but he didn’t know if he should ask why.  Sebastian was known in their circles for being notoriously private.  “I’ve been meaning to call you, when did you get here?”

“A few weeks ago…”   He pulled his phone out to look at it.  “I gotta go, I have to be at Google early…”

“Right, okay…”  Charlie looked a little wary.  “Do you want to…”

Sebastian still couldn’t manage a smile.  “Jay and Karen have been comin’ around, we’ll call you,” he lied, running off hastily.

Later, as he sat in his car, taking a drag from the cigarette that had been stashed in the glove compartment, he considered the encounter.  It certainly had been a bit of a jolt to his system.  The problem with Charlie’s face was that he looked like he wanted to cheer Sebastian up.

What if he didn’t want to fucking be cheered up?  What if he couldn’t be cheered up?

[x](http://www.livestrong.com/article/438978-what-is-the-target-heart-rate-for-a-40-year-old-man-who-exercises/)

The next morning he was on the treadmill to avoid running into Charlie or anyone else.  As usual, his heart felt like a heavy stone in his chest.  He grunted as he continued his slow pace, wishing he could just go back to bed with a drink.  He would kill for a scotch.  

A pair of texts sounded on his phone from Rob. It was a link to a playlist, with typically direct communications from his roommate:

_ROB: This song came on and it made me go full music geek on you._

_ROB: It’s for those times like yesterday, the times when you get hit you unexpectedly, and get forced to take one in the gut.  I’m pretty sure there’s no way around the pain of a break-up - but if you find out otherwise, let me know.  Anyway, if you do have to take another hit, You might as well have a good soundtrack for it._

Sebastian clicked on the link absently.  The opening of the song sounded like Rob, with its steady, methodical beat and grounded melody.  And just like his best friend, the first few stanzas also slowly permeated without him knowing.  When the song ended Sebastian hit the back button and played it again, without stopping to really think about it.

[Listen to “I Can’t Dance” by Genesis on YouTube at [ http://bit.ly/2qAQBBj ](http://bit.ly/2qAQBBj) and at Spotify at [http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2](http://www.livestrong.com/article/438978-what-is-the-target-heart-rate-for-a-40-year-old-man-who-exercises/) ]

 _Young punk spilling beer on my shoes,_  
_Fat guy's talking to me trying to steal my blues._  
_Thick smoke, see her smiling through.  
I never thought so much could happen just shooting pool._

 _...But I can't dance, I can't talk._  
_The only thing about me is the way I walk._  
_I can't dance, I can't sing  
I'm just standing here selling_

  
The thing about a treadmill was that it forced you to keep going, unless you wanted to fall off the end of the machine. 

Maybe he should just fall off the end.

The music didn’t seem to let him do it, though.  The guitar and the oddball percussion, the bass riffs and the drum beats...they were stirring something.  It was the pain in his chest.  It was spreading.  It wasn’t clear if that was a good thing or a bad thing.  The pain wasn’t really going away.  It was just...moving.  

But his gait was growing more steady though he didn’t even know it.  

And he didn’t fall.

 

…

 

Blaine wiped his eyes.

_August 16, 2014_

_Seriously, Instagram should come with a warning label after a breakup. I forgot I was following Sebastian’s Jay. He is just posting pictures of hikes around the Stanford area  (Sebastian is not in them, though that doesn’t necessarily mean he wasn't there, does it?)  I know there's nothing going on between the two of them, but Jay just reminds me of what lies ahead. When someone else gets to be the one to love Sebastian._

_I've started playing piano and guitar at the cafe I go to, where I was introduced to the owner by a friend I made, another daily international patron named John Paterson.  Everyone calls him JP, and he’s graying, 50ish, very handsome.  He and his partner live nearby but he’s from Scotland, so we of course bonded over that, and the fact that he used to be a musical theater actor. He made me laugh and take selfies for the first time since Paris. Tonight he had a big anniversary party and paid me to bring my guitar too, to play with a violinist friend of his._

 

_I played a lot of standards, some Disney, but then I got the worst possible request._

_[Listen to “I Don't Want to Love Somebody Else.” by A Great Big World on YouTube at:_ [ _http://bit.ly/2seoMzK_ ](http://bit.ly/2seoMzK) _or on Spotify at[http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2](http://i.imgur.com/nVGdGrh.png?1)] _

Oh, you had me in a dream,  
I lived in every word you said  
The stars had aligned  
I thought that I found you  
And I don't wanna love somebody else 

Oh, we left it all unspoken  
Oh, we buried it alive  
and now it's screaming in my head  
Oh, I shouldn't go on hoping  
Oh, that you will change your mind  
and one day we could start again  
  
Well I don't care if loneliness kills me  
I don't wanna love somebody else 

Oh, I thought that I could change you  
Oh, I thought that we would be the greatest story that I tell  
I know that it's time to tell you it's over  
But I don't wanna love somebody else

_Afterwards JP asked me if I was feeling well.  I told him no, and he took me outside and we had a coffee and a talk, and it was really quite comforting.  I told Sam and Tina and my mom that I would make friends here, but I really haven’t.  I’m friendly with my classmates, but I’ve been shy again, like I was in Scotland.  It’s hard to be everything at once.  It’s hard to be anything but heartbroken sometimes._

_I told him a little about myself, tried not to ramble about Sebastian too much.    Turns out he’s bisexual and has been married or been in a domestic partnership six times.  He called himself the “male Elizabeth Taylor of the London set.”_

_He asked me about Sebastian, and after I told him a little, he helped me fill out the rest.  It was odd, how spot on he was.  I told him that Bas was charming, cocky, the life of the party and the envy of everyone, that he could be a bit of an asshole, but mostly it was a front to protect himself, and that he is very kind and loving to me.  To all this JP said something like, “Ah...let me guess, he has an intense capacity to love, but is hard to get to know...slow to trust and wary of others...quite sensitive but has a hard to time expressing his feelings...and of course gun-shy of moving too quickly in a relationship?”_

_He told me that he knew all of that because Sebastian sounds a lot like himself when he was younger.   JP’s father cheated and abandoned him and his mother, but he escaped to the theatre and it saved him.  Eventually he fell in love with a brilliant architect named Roman, but they couldn’t make it work because he wasn’t ready to, he didn’t know how to be in a relationship.   He said that it was years before he was really ready, and when he returned to Roman, he was too late - Roman was with someone else.  He said he’s had several grand loves in his life and some of them worked out as they should have, others did not, and that only time will tell for me and Sebastian._

_Later that night I found one of the recordings JP had made and it seemed to sum up his youth...and Sebastian’s?_

_[Listen to “I Won’t Send Roses” by John Barrowman on YouTube at:_ [ _http://bit.ly/2qHNtrn_ ](http://bit.ly/2qHNtrn) _or on Spotify at<http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2>] _

My pace is frantic  
My temper's cross  
With words romantic  
I'm at a loss  
  
I'd be the first one to agree  
That I'm preoccupied with me  
And it's inbred, kid  
So keep your head, kid

In me you'll find things  
Like guts and nerve  
But not the kind of things  
That you deserve

And so while there's a fighting chance  
Just turn and go  
I won't send roses  
And roses suit you so 

_Listening to him made me reminded me of something.  Up until now I have been thinking of Sebastian as conservative and unyielding about our relationship, but now I realize that I should remember more often that he is also very inexperienced and afraid.  He never wanted to say those things out loud (or at least not when we weren’t screaming at each other), so I didn’t see him that way._

_I’m not going to lie, I wish I could be the one to help draw him out, so he won’t be so afraid to make himself vulnerable in love.  But I don’t think I can rush that, and I can’t spend my life waiting.  For all I know, I was his starter romance._  

_As my new friend said, only time will tell.  For now, we talked about how my music program, my time here, that Firenze doesn’t have to be about keeping busy and avoiding discomfort.  It can be a time where, as JP put it, “your art can save you.” It’s a bit dramatic, but he’s cute that way.  And he’s right - I should not be thinking about my music as  something productive to do so I don’t wallow, but as something that can help me work through everything._

 

…

_THAD: Has anyone heard from Sebastian or Blaine?  I say we find Hunter Clarington and get him to hit on Blaine.  That will bring Sebastian out of his coma!_

_NICK: Even Sam says we can’t hatch a plan.  It’s too soon.  Blaine’s not talking much either._

_MEATBOX: I did run into Hunter, he’s at Columbia with me.  He was atonin’ and he’s mellowed out some.  We’re gonna grab a beer_

_JEFF: Don’t let Seb know that!_

_TRENT: I don’t know that we should ever hatch a plan._

_JEFF: You just want Blaine to yourself, Sassy_

_NICK: LMAO_

_TRENT: I do not!_

_THAD: Seblaine 4eva!_

_MEATBOX: Sebastian would kill you if you try to get in his business_

_DAVID: Truth_

_WES: It’s settled then.  Even without a plot, give them their space._

 

...

 

_August 22, 2014_

_Mindfulness is stopping to notice what’s going on with your thoughts and your emotions, so we are able to truly let them go.  You acknowledge your thoughts without trying to push them away or obsess about them, and then you let them go._

_It’s easier said than done, really letting yourself feel the pain that we all want  to avoid.  It’s tricky, acknowledging it all, but not letting it all consume me._

_I think things didn’t work with Sebastian because I partly used him to solve problems that I had to solve alone.  I hadn’t really forgiven myself for my part in what went wrong with Kurt, and I was very uncomfortable being alone.  Sebastian told me I should forgive myself, he singled out the ways Kurt had failed, and he was comforting companionship even 5000 miles away._

_I love him, he’s very worthy of love, but I also used him to prove I could finally succeed in a relationship.  I used him to make me feel better about myself, especially when I was feeling insecure or lonely._  
  


_Turns out all that time with Sebastian was another lesson in disguise.  I was trying again to have a perfect relationship._

_It was different with Sebastian, though.  What I wanted with Kurt wasn’t based in reality, it was based on some fairytale ideal I had read about in Out magazine or seen on Brothers and Sisters reruns, stuff like that.  Getting over the cancelled wedding wasn’t really about Kurt as much as it was about all of my dreams of being married to him.  I feel like I barely knew Kurt, compared to how well I know Sebastian._

_This time I’m more crushed by the fact that I wasted my chance with Sebastian.  I tried to make a perfect relationship again, but this time I didn't just lose anyone, I lost Sebastian.  And because of that it might never work with this man I love so much.  I feel like I brought out in the best in him, and he definitely did that for me.  Losing not just us, but_ him _, that’s the part that feels like such a struggle to get past._

_I think in the end we were just too different.  I was too eager for a relationship, and he was too scared for one._

_I didn’t realize until I said it during our fight just how much I had been living and dying, moment by moment, on if he would tell me he loved me.  That can’t be healthy.  I wanted it too much, as if I couldn’t imagine being without him._

_I’m so sad, but I have to live with that and not dream about how we could get back together.  I need to stay in this moment and learn to let it go._

_I tried my best, and when I really think about it, I don’t think I failed.  I don’t think he did, either.  I’m kicking myself a bit for how we handled it, but I don’t know how else it would have ever gone down.  We had been attracted to each other for so long, there was no way around us becoming closer and closer that fast._

_I think I was a fantasy, a crush he had, a challenge, someone he wanted but didn’t know what to do with when he got me.  I think he loved me, but he couldn’t give in to it.  We aren’t in the same place and_ _I can’t be with him like that, I’ve reached my limit.  And he couldn’t...he looked so trapped, under so much pressure from what I wanted, I don’t think he couldn’t bear what we were anymore, either._

  
Blaine felt his heart tighten at the image that came to mind, of Sebastian’s face during their final fight.  

 

Something like panic came over him as he stared at his journal.  He wiped his eyes again and went to his phone to type out a chat message:

_BLAINE: I don’t need to know a lot, just wanted to see if Sebastian is okay_

_SANTANA: Yes and no, probably like you, but ok.  He’ll live.  I sent Nick out to him._

_SANTANA: You K?_

_BLAINE: Yes and no.  I like to think I will be. Thanks, Santana.  I’m glad he has you._

_SANTANA: You got me too._

_BLAINE: I know.  Love you._

_SANTANA: Back at you_

 

 

...

 

 

_SANTANA: Texted with Blaine today._

His reply was lightning quick.

_SEBASTIAN: How is he_

_SANTANA: Ok.  That’s all I’m giving you, Imma not your spy or messenger - if you want to know more, go to him yourself._

_SEBASTIAN: [read]_

_SANTANA: Sit down and fatten up your skinny ass with chocolate.  Get your claws off the cancer sticks._  

 

Sebastian shook his head.  Santana knew him too damned well now.  He went to the bar in the living room and poured a triple scotch on the rocks for himself next, without thinking about it.  He hadn’t had a scotch rocks in a long time, but the clink of the ice was strangely soothing.  This was how his Grandfather Fondeur drank his whisky, he remembered.  

Blaine was okay.  

Sebastian had three more lowballs to numb the mixed feelings he had about the news.  The fourth finally put him to sleep.

In the morning on the treadmill he found himself tired of Rob’s playlist.  He absently selected his old workout playlist, something he hadn’t played since he ran and lifted weights in Paris, before things began to fall apart.  

The first song slowly but surely brought back a little bit of the old steam.  If Blaine was okay, if Blaine was moving on, he had to get his shit together more and move on too.  As the song continued, he found himself wondering why hadn’t played this before.  These were the most conscious thoughts he had had outside the office since Paris.  By the time the first half of the song was complete, something made him punch up the speed on the treadmill:

 

 _[Listen to “The Fighter” on our YouTube Playlist at_[ _http://bit.ly/2rrmf7n_ ](http://bit.ly/2rrmf7n) _or at our Spotify Playlist at<http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2>] _

_Until the referee rings the bell_  
_Until both your eyes start to swell_  
_Until the crowd goes home  
What we gonna do ya'll?_

 _Give em hell, turn their heads_  
_Gonna live life 'til we're dead.  
Give me scars, give me pain_

 _Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me_  
_There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter  
Here comes the fighter_

_That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me,  
This one's a fighter _

_Everybody put yo hands up_  
_What we gonna do (hey!) [x4] y'all?  
What we gonna do (hey!) [x3] y'all?_

 _If you fall pick yourself up off the floor (get up)_  
_And when your bones can't take no more (c'mon)_  
_Just remember what you're here for_  
_Cuz I know Imma damn sure_

 _Give em hell, turn their heads_  
_Gonna live life 'til we're dead._  
_Give me scars, give me pain  
Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me_

 _There goes the fighter, there goes the fighter_  
_Here comes the fighter_  
_That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me,_  
_This one's a fighter_

Sebastian got off the treadmill, dripping.  He was sweating harder than he had all summer.  As he headed to the elevator, he typed a very brief Skype PM to his mother about the break up, then turned his phone off.

 

...

_BLAINE: I’ve been thinking of you so much lately:_

_I need to be with myself and center_

_Clarity, peace, serenity_

_RACHEL:  BLAINE!  Aw, our trio.  That song does sound perfect for you right now.  How are you doing?_

_BLAINE: Hanging in there. It’s beautiful here, though.  You would love it.  But I should be getting to bed.  Good night, Maria._

_RACHEL: Good night, Tony. <3 _

 

But Blaine couldn't sleep, after all. He found himself finally opening the case that housed the keyboard that Sebastian had given him.   Santana had said that Sebastian was okay.  Sebastian would want him to be using his keyboard.  If he were here he would be giving him shit for not using it before now, in fact.  Blaine's smile was bittersweet as he set the impressive instrument up.  Then he turned on his iPad and scrolled until he found a song he felt like playing along with.  He let out a sigh as he began, knowing he was going to have to accept the fact that Sebastian had not gotten in touch yet, that Sebastian didn’t want to be with him.

 _[Listen to “Bluebird” on our YouTube Playlist at_ [ _http://bit.ly/2rmzJ2h_ ](http://bit.ly/2rmzJ2h) _or at our Spotify Playlist at<http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2>] _

 

 _Word came through in a letter,_  
_One of us changing our minds._  
_You won't need to guess who_  
_Since I usually do not send letters to me_  
_That are mine_

 _I told him I saw this coming,_  
_That I'd practically packed up my things._  
_I was glad at the time that I said I was fine but,_  
_All honesty knows, I wasn't ready, no._

 _And so here we go bluebird,_  
_Back to the sky on your own._  
_Oh let him go bluebird,_  
_Ready to fly,_  
_You and I,_  
_Here we go.  
Here we go._

 _This pair of wings worn and rusted,_  
_From too many years by my side_  
_They can carry me, swear to be,_  
_Sturdy and strong but see,_  
_Turning them on still means goodbye_

 _And so here we go bluebird,_  
_Gather your strength and rise up._  
_Oh let him go bluebird._  
_Oh let him go bluebird._  
_Oh let him go bluebird._  
  
_Ready to fly,_  
_You and I,_  
_Here we go_  
_Here we go_  
  
   
Blaine wrote a lot of music that night, and he kept writing into the dawn’s first light.  Unfinished symphonies, melodies, bridges...it was a jumble but it was an important jumble.  When he could do no more, he walked the city in the morning quiet.  JP said his music would save him.  Blaine didn't know about that, but it was something close.

 

 

…

 

After he downed a bottle of water and picked out clothes, Sebastian finally turned his phone on again while he was in line for his coffee.  He braced himself to find no reply from his mother, or perhaps worse, to actually find a reply from his mother.  She was mostly never around, but when she was she tended to be unpredictable.  One minute she wanted him to learn more about her bipolar, other times she wanted him to leave her alone about it.  Sometimes she was too much - too indignant, too sympathetic, too goddamned optimistic.  Other times she was not enough - oblivious, distracted, blissfully dismissive.  He preferred to love her from afar, so she couldn’t mislead or disappoint him in close proximity.   

Today was no exception.  Telling her about his breakup with Blaine in writing was certainly better than telling her in person, where she would inevitably look so much like a tragic statue that he’d want to club himself.  Whenever Blaine teased him about being a drama queen, he thought of where he got it from.

When the  Skype notification appeared he raised his eyebrows.  She was actually around.  Huh.

_MAMAN: Je suis vraiment désolé. Appelez-moi si vous voulez en parler. Je serai au Brésil cette semaine. Peut-être faire de la danse? Vous devez laisser vos sentiments de quelque façon que ce soit. Vous devez vous laisser le sentir, je sais que c'est nouveau pour vous, mais il est très important de vous laisser sentir la colère, la tristesse, la consternation, la confusion, la déception, tout cela ... Quoi que vous fassiez, ne faites pas Appelez votre père ou votre grand-mère, ils sont terribles avec ce genre de chose. Je t'aime, appelle-moi si je peux aider ici._

_[I'm so sorry.  Call me if you want to talk about it.  I'll be in Brazil this week.  Maybe do some dancing?  You need let your feelings out somehow.  You need to let yourself feel it, I know this is new to you but it's very important to let yourself feel the anger, the sadness, the dismay, the confusion, the disappointment, all of it...Whatever you do, don't call your father or your grandmother, they are terrible with this kind of thing.  I love you, call me if I can help from here.]_  

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the wall of text.  She was too much.  Again.

 

 _SEBASTIAN:_ _Je vais bien. Je pensais juste que vous aimeriez savoir. C'est hilarant que vous pensez que j'appellerais papa. À propos de tout._  
  
_[I’m fine.  I just thought you would want to know.   That’s hilarious that you think I would call Dad.  About anything.]_

 

To his surprise, his mother replied immediately.

 

_MAMAN: Avez-vous parlé à quelqu'un? Ou jouer au piano ou à la danse, tout ce qui vous dégage? Je sais que ça doit être comme si tu ne voudrais plus jamais aimer, mais ça va aller mieux, je le promets._

_[Have you been talking to anyone?  Or playing piano or dancing, anything that is an outlet for you?  I know it must feel like you’ll never love again but it will get better, I promise.]_

 

Sebastian grimaced.  As usual, she didn’t get it.  It wasn’t that he was scared he would never love again, it was that he didn’t know how to love Blaine without ripping his head off or royally disappointing him.  And that was her fault.  And his dad’s.  He switched to English.

 

 _SEBASTIAN: My friends have been stepping up.  I’m fine._  

_SEBASTIAN: I’m pushing my trip to see Nina out, by a week._

 

He almost wrote, _I don’t want to be in Ohio when Blaine will be there._

 

_MAMAN: If you don’t want to see her, it’s okay.  Tell her school is too busy and you’ll see her at Christmas.  I just saw her in April and I’ll go again in a month or two._

_SEBASTIAN: No, that’s too long between. I should have gone to see her in June._

_MAMAN: Ok, whatever you want.  I’m so glad your friends are there for you.  That Sam boy was lovely_

_SEBASTIAN: He’s Blaine’s best friend.  I lost him in the custody battle_

_MAMAN: Sorry.  I’m glad you’re retaining your sense of humor through all this_

 

Sebastian looked at the phone grimly.  Had he?

 

_SEBASTIAN: I have to go_

_MAMAN: Ok, I love you so much, mon coeur_

_SEBASTIAN: Love you. Bye_

 

...

 

 

_SANTANA: You better not be smoking_

Sebastian thought dimly about how his friends really were stepping up.  Obnoxiously, in Santana’s case.

 _SEBASTIAN: [read]_ _  
_

_SANTANA: Your stickball team is going to kick you as soon as they notice you have the lung capacity of a baby_  
  
_SEBASTIAN: You have the mental capacity of a baby._  
  
_SEBASTIAN: Call it stickball again and I will chainsmoke your weave next time I see you_  
  
_SANTANA: Bitch_  
  
_SEBASTIAN: Whore_  
 

Santana looked encouraged.

 

 

…

 

 

“Darling, we haven’t seen you for a whole year, let us pick you up from the airport.  Your father even came home early to drive us.”

Blaine's slight smile grew sweeter as he began rolling his suitcases up the long driveway, away from the taxi. It did something for him to hear his workaholic father had left the office early for him. "Too late. Look out the window."

His mother's pretty mouth formed an "O" and she went to the front window to see her "baby" coming up the driveway. "Richard! Cooper! Blaine's home early! On the driveway!"

All three Andersons came quickly out the front door, Cooper pushing ahead of his parents to go practically tackle his brother with an intense hug. "Help with his bags!" Richard called, shaking his head at his dramatic elder son.

Rowena looked a little tearful as they approached. "I'm glad you got home early enough to welcome him home," she said to her husband.  She added with a soft sigh, "What a year he's had..."

Richard was still in his office suit. He took his wife's hand and studied Blaine’s gravely fond face as he listened to his brother begin to talk. He replied with quiet certainty, "He's got this licked. We shouldn't overwhelm him."

Cooper did not seem to have the same idea.  As the brothers parted and came up to their parents he was saying,  “I could be like Will Smith in that movie _Hitch_ , when he gets Kevin James back together with that girl...except I would do a much better job because I’m your brother…”  
  
“Sebastian and I aren't getting back together,” Blaine said with slightly pained expression before his face lit up with a relieved and loving expression for his mother.

“Sweetheart…” Mother and son’s eyes were tearful as they embraced.

Cooper looked on patiently.  “Ok, I see you aren't ready yet...but just you wait, Squirt…big brother can...”

Richard gave Cooper a look that quieted him.  When his wife reluctantly let go of Blaine he said,  “Welcome home, son,” as they hugged, a little awkwardly.  As the family turned to move towards the house, Cooper opened his mouth again but his father gave him a pointed look over Blaine’s head as he said, “You must be tired, but after you have a rest come to my study.  I had the station wagon looked at and it’s on its last legs.  For UCLA, what do you think of a Tesla?  We can look at some research on them.”

Blaine looked up at his father, who always loomed a bit larger than life, as he took in the offer.  His small smile was grateful.  He was glad to not have to immediately talk about the breakup any further with Cooper or even potentially with his mother. “Sure, dad.  That sounds great.”  

His father met his gaze with an understanding look that was, in fact, unprecedented.  Blaine was a bit taken aback by it, but when that wore off he managed another small, grateful smile.  Maybe this was a new chapter in more ways than one.

 

…

 

 

Blaine woke up after a long nap, blinking slowly as he remembered where he was.  Sitting halfway up against the pillows, he surveyed the room with solemnity. Crowded on the desk, dresser and bookshelves were every single trophy from his childhood and teen years.  There were small ones and tall ones, brass and silver, glossy wood.  Sebastian had said it was pathetic, how he had kept them for so long.  It was to hurt Blaine during their fight, and Blaine knew he hadn't really meant it. At the same time, Sebastian hadn't been entirely wrong, either.

Blaine slowly rose from the bed.  “Enough,” he said under his breath as he began putting them into his closet.  

 

…

 

The family was a little quiet as dinner started.  Cooper especially was oddly silent.  Finally, after a halting conversation about a cousin’s wedding, Blaine looked up patiently as he put down his salad fork.  “It’s okay, you can ask me about the break-up.” 

Mr. Anderson looked a little impressed, Mrs. Anderson was relieved, and Cooper pounced.   “Have you talked to him?”

Blaine took a deep breath and a sip of his milk.  “No,” he said with a sigh.  “It’s too soon.  I like to think we’ll be friends some day...and who knows, maybe down the line we can talk about what we learned from what happened, but I’ll let him get in touch when he’s ready to talk about it.  You can’t force Sebastian to talk when he’s not ready to talk.” Blaine felt tears behind his eyes but held onto his composure for the most part.

Cooper said dramatically, “But don’t you want to fight to make it work?  You can get him to change...You can’t back down from a challenge…”

Mr. Anderson cut in.  “When the challenge is people’s behavior, you can only fight with your response to them.  You can’t change people,” he glanced away, regretting not speaking up when Blaine had started up with Bill Smythe’s son.

Blaine looked with some astonishment at the look of bitter disappointment on his father’s face.  He remembered how well Sebastian and his father had gotten along at Christmas.  He thought about how rare it was for his dad to become so comfortable with someone so quickly.  He nodded sadly, but then took a deep breath to recenter.  “The challenge was my behavior too, but being in Florence has been good for me to work on that.  I’ve been trying recognize my part in what happened, without taking all the blame myself.  And I’ve been working on things I’ve been wanting to develop in myself, outside of my relationship with Sebastian.”

“That sounds very sensible, dear,” Mrs. Anderson said kindly.   

Cooper looked a little crestfallen.  “But…”

Mr. Anderson interrupted his son again.  “Cooper, tell us about your memoir and how little you are going to say about your family in it.”

 

...

 

Blaine and Cooper met up with Sam at the Tavern’s karaoke night after dinner.  Tristan was thankfully not working a shift.  Watching the proprietor’s son make eyes at Sebastian last Christmas seemed like another lifetime, another universe, another reality.

Be that as it may, Blaine was going to just sing.  Yes, it was surreal to be back in Ohio without Sebastian, and yes, everything felt so different, but he had to start somewhere.  So Blaine just chose to sing:

 _[Listen to “Are We Human” on our YouTube Playlist at_ [ _http://bit.ly/2seoMzK_ ](http://bit.ly/2seoMzK) _or at our Spotify Playlist at_ [ _http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2_ ](http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2) _]_

_I did my best to notice_  
_When the call came down the line_  
_Up to the platform of surrender_  
_I was brought but I was kind_

 _And sometimes I get nervous_  
_When I see an open door_  
_Close your eyes, clear your heart  
Cut the cord_

  
Blaine indeed closed his eyes for a moment before continuing to sing, his questioning eyes searching the room.

  
_Are we human or are we dancer?_  
_My sign is vital, my hands are cold_  
_And I'm on my knees looking for the answer_  
_Are we human or are we dancer?_

 _Pay my respects to grace and virtue  
_ _Send my condolences to good_

 _Hear my regards to soul and romance  
__They always did the best they could_  

 _And so long to devotion_  
_You taught me everything I know_  
_Wave goodbye, wish me well_  
  
_You've gotta let me go_  
  
_Are we human or are we dancer?_  
_My sign is vital, my hands are cold_  
_And I'm on my knees looking for the answer  
Are we human or are we dancer?_

 

....

 

Sebastian was making progress.  There was (1) more scotch and wine left in the bottles when Jay or Karen checked them every night, (2) an increase in steps counted on his Fitbit, and (3) a corresponding increase in appetite.  David, Jay and Karen began to arrive early on weekends to take Sebastian elsewhere for his morning runs.  They argued that they could guarantee escaping Charlie by leaving the vicinity of the apartment building.

Jay and David pushed for natural recreational areas over landscaped Silicon Valley neighborhoods.  Sebastian didn’t object, except that he flat out refused to go to any lakes.  David explained later that Sebastian and Blaine first began falling in love at  Alum Lake back in Ohio.  Jay knew to keep them away anywhere near Tiburon, where he knew Sebastian and Blaine also had spent time early on in their relationship.  

So they ran alongside the bay in San Francisco (careful to avoid the area near the Top of the Mark), through Golden Gate Park and other wooded areas in the Silicon Valley peninsula.  The runs gave way to picnics and hikes.  They also went out to Treasure Island, Angel Island, and finally all the way out to Monterey.  

September arrived, and Karen and Sebastian’s internships were completed. Since there was time before Stanford students were to move back into the dormitories, Jay, Karen and David planned a surprise for the first weekend of September for Sebastian.  As with most anything else these days, he was fairly indifferent about it.  He let Karen pack a weekender bag for him and he got into the car without protest, but he still wore a mainly vacant expression.

Jay, Karen and David chatted comfortably with one another in the car.  None of them would put Sebastian on the spot to contribute to the conversation, but he knew all of them would be very happy if he did.  He just didn’t have anything to say.  What would he say?  That his future looked like a bleak mess where Blaine would have a happily ever with someone else?

Of course he wouldn’t.  No one wanted to hear that.

Sebastian closed his eyes, leaning his seat back in the front of David’s comfortable SUV.  He tried to think of something else and failed.  Putting in his earphones, he scrolled through the playlists and saw one from his high school days in Paris.  It was the one he had played when he was so miserable with his pathetic Mommy and Daddy issues at Stanford, before Blaine showed up for their Napa weekend.  It was called, “Disappeared Somewhere.”  He pressed shuffle and an old Coldplay song came on that felt appropriate to his malaise:

 _[Listen to “Clocks” on YouTube at:_ [ _http://bit.ly/2rBVehN_ ](http://bit.ly/2rBVehN) _or on Spotify at_ [ _http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2_ ](http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2) _]_

 _The lights go out and I can't be saved_  
_Tides that I tried to swim against_  
_Have brought me down upon my knees  
Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing_

 _Come out of the things unsaid_  
_Shoot an apple off my head and a  
Trouble that can't be named_

_A tiger's waiting to be tamed, singing  
You are, you are _

  
_Confusion that never stops_  
_The closing walls and the ticking clocks gonna_  
_Come back and take you home  
I could not stop, that you now know, singing_

 _Come out upon my seas_  
_Cursed missed opportunities am I_  
_A part of the cure_  
_Or am I part of the disease, singing_  
  
_You are, you are_  
_You are, you are  
You are, you are_

Sebastian grew more tired - there had come to be a weekly build up of fatigue from not eating enough, from pretending to be fine all week at his internship, from fighting off the heartbreak.  Eventually he turned off the music and closed his eyes, giving faint attention to the indistinct hum of his friends talking.  It was comforting, to be honest, and focusing on it allowed him to let sleep take over more quickly than usual.  

 

…

 

He woke to David’s hand shaking him gently.  “Hey, wake up, we’re here - sort of.  And it is completely not overrated!”  


[ x ](http://geotripper.blogspot.com/2015/09/whispers-and-echoes-from-past-when-half.html)

 

Sebastian sat up, blinking, as they rolled forward to see a stunning vista framed in the tunnel opening they were driving through.  To the left was El Capitan, the largest granite monolith in the world - 3000 feet of gray, silver and white majesty.  To the right was Bridalveil fall on the backdrop of more dramatic rock, and in the distance, in the center, was the iconic Half Dome peak.

Sebastian was very well travelled, having made his way through some of the USA, Asia, Africa, South America and much of Europe.  He often vaunted the fact that the Swiss Alps held his first ski slopes, but even he was caught short in the face of the Tunnel View of Yosemite National Park, one of the most arresting, dramatic sights in the world.  

  
Jay and Karen were beaming from the backseat.  Karen had come to Yosemite  with Rob in the spring and Jay had gone annually as a kid, including a summer camp where he fell in love with sculpting.  

Sebastian didn’t say anything, his green eyes more alert than they had been in months as he continued to take it all in - this place, this strikingly impressive place that Jay had called his cathedral on many occasions.  Sebastian could see why.

 _Blaine would love this_ , he thought.  

David saved him by parking the car so they could all get out and sit, to “be with it,” as Jay said.  David and Karen were taking all kinds of photos of the view, now even better from the vista point.  

[x](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yosemite_National_Park)

Sebastian felt more clear-headed that weekend than he had all summer. The visit was nothing short of therapeutic.  They ran, walked, hiked, bicycled, and waded in the bright autumn sunshine with massive redwoods and other picturesque evergreens, stunning granite peaks, and rivers all around them.  All of this did Sebastian more good than even he fully realized.  

[x](https://www.google.com/url?q=http://picssr.com/photos/sinnokrak/interesting?nsid%3D86434977@N00&sa=D&ust=1498023808433000&usg=AFQjCNEwc5oQlHHDswhYUEsyMR75h2cvZw)

... 

 

On their last day he and David climbed Half Dome, a 16.4 mile, strenuous hike that was considered a rite of passage for athletic park visitors.  Jay had made a reservation for them to climb, since only a limited number of hikers are allowed per day past the rangers at the base of the dome.  Karen had climbed to the top of the iconic rock face last year with Rob, and Jay had done it a few times over the years.  Neither of them cared to take it on again on this visit, preferring to relax on the Yosemite Valley Floor.

As was typical of their friendship, David and Sebastian didn’t speak much during their ascent.  It was easier to focus on the trail, which they needed to traverse at a steady clip in order to make it back by nightfall.  It was just as well that they kept quiet - the steep, 4800 foot climb was a more difficult athletic pursuit than usual for Sebastian.  

The beginning of the ascent wasn’t difficult, though the incline was immediate.  They hit the first stop quickly, a bridge about a mile up the trail with a view of Vernal Falls, where they topped off their water bottles with the last treated water they would see for the day.  Then they tackled the first difficult leg of their journey,  a slippery, 1.3 mile rock stairway up 1000 feet to the top of the falls.  It was comprised of over 500 steps, many a foot or more in height.  The mist from the waterfalls made things chilly, something they would crave when the temperatures climbed to the mid 80’s toward the end of the climb.

Sebastian had a sense of foreboding when he felt a moderate burn in his muscles so early in the day, but he pushed past it.  He didn’t let them linger long to see the view from the top of the falls, and led David quickly over the dirt trail that followed.  Next, Sebastian hustled them up a series of unshaded switchbacks up a rocky trail to the top of Nevada Falls, where they finally stopped for a longer break.   Though he had set the pace, Sebastian was much more out of breath at this point.  Any endurance that remained in his body had been built from lacrosse and triathlon training on flat ground, at sea level.  It was also four months ago.

 

Stalwart, he led David up more switchbacks, at least partially shaded this time.  But before long Sebastian once again felt like the back of his neck was burning, even though he had slathered on sunblock at the top of the last waterfall.  A deluded thought crossed his mind...was his hair enough to protect his scalp?  He should have left his vanity on the Yosemite Valley floor and worn a hat.   

The trail was more or less level for the next stretch, but that only increased Sebastian’s sense of foreboding.  The flatter it was now, at only 1900 feet or so, the steeper it would get as they headed for their 4800 ft goal.  He was really not in shape for this.  He should just quit and go back down to collapse in his tent with Karen and a box of truffles.  

They finally entered the forest again, and the trail began to climb again. They felt the altitude more acutely now, and the ache in Sebastian’s muscles was also more intense.  This meant stopping more often for water and food, which in turn meant continually passing and then getting passed by a group of teenage boys who looked like soccer players. It was pissing Sebastian off, but they only had two more miles to go.  He was going to get to the top of this damned rock if it killed him.

There were fewer and fewer trees now and the sun felt like it was beating down on them when they reached the checkpoint.  After they showed their permits to the ranger they kept climbing, the accompanying ache of Sebastian’s body now just part of an excruciating new normal.  

But then it hit him.  All it took was the feeling of his sweat starting to soak through the high tech wicking jersey he was wearing.  That was the trigger for being blindsided by memories of Florida on Spring Break.  It was like an assault, remembering the feeling of sweating through another shirt in the humidity, and how the wet humid heat was made bearable by the hungry look on Blaine’s face when Sebastian stripped off that shirt.  It was a brutal attack to remember the firm, intimate feeling of Blaine under him as they started making out on the grass.  Now all he could feel was the whole sweat slicked, sexy, fun, loving, unholy perfection of it all - everything that had been best about them.  And then suddenly all he could think was how bereft he was of it all.  

Sebastian struggled to push it all away, but details involuntarily flashed before his eyes between his footfalls on the rocky trail.  Blaine’s adoring eyes.  The rough grass by the creek.  Blaine searching lips interrupted by rain.  How unnecessary the rest of world seemed.  Sebastian felt tears behind his eyes, but he didn’t have any energy to hold them back.  So they just shamefully rolled down his face, until he finally ducked his head and wiped them up and over his eyes so he could push them off his forehead as if they were sweat.  

He was still steadying himself internally when he looked up again and had to inhale  sharply.   _Holy shit._

[x](https://talesofthetrailsseries.com/tag/sub-dome/page/2/)

They had reached the worst part of the hike, a rock staircase that started the climb of the dome.  The steps were often greater than a foot high, much more strenuous for a much longer time than the 500 step version earlier that morning.   Sebastian looked up at the undertaking and let out a groan of disappointment.  He stopped without warning, muttering “Seriously?”  David almost bumped into him.

Sebastian had already been panting from exertion, but the sight of a challenge so monstrous, after the godforsaken summer he had been having, felt like too much.  His breath stilled and at the same time he wondered if he might hyperventilate.  

When it was clear Sebastian wasn’t just pausing, David tugged his friend off to the side so other hikers behind them could pass.  Then he looked around to find a rock to sit on, but when he started moving toward it he realized Sebastian wasn’t following him.  He turned back to his friend and found Sebastian leaning forward with his hands on his knees, looking glazed over. His face was reddened and even a little puffy from the exertion.  But worse than that, he looked terribly sad.  He looked broken and dismal and David’s felt his own heart sink.  Sebastian had made mistakes but he was always made of steel - so strong and a leader in every way.  But this hike was too much, clearly.  It was too much during the period of recovery from heartbreak  Sebastian was going through.  David said gently, “Let’s sit for a minute so we can store up for the last stretch.  Looks steep.”

Sebastian just stared at the ground as he felt despair move through his entire body.  He felt very unsteady and slightly nauseous.  His hands were slippery with perspiration on his knees and the sun on his back felt like it was baking him.  But he knew there was no shade anywhere around them.  He was going to passout from sunstroke or something.  He remained frozen on the spot, because he was pretty sure he couldn’t move.  He couldn’t do anything.  He just couldn’t do it anymore.

“Seb...you want some water?”

Tears started to threaten behind Sebastian’s eyes again and he needed David to stop talking, it was all too much.  “I…I don’t...I can’t…I…”  He managed to spit out, his breath quickening.  “I don’t know.  I don’t know…”

“Of course you can, Captain,” David said empathetically.  “We’re almost there.  But we can stop and eat lunch here if you want, we don't have to wait til we get to the top…”

Sebastian finally waved one hand at his friend, wanting him to just stop speaking.  “It’s not that...just...I don’t know if I can...”

David studied him quietly for a moment, then chose his words carefully.  He offered no solutions, just whatever comfort he could.  “I think you can.  You’re Sebastian Smythe.  We’ll get through all this.  Maybe we weren’t prepared for this, but we can do this. Dalton trained us to handle whatever comes right?”

Both of Sebastian’s hands were on his knees again, but he was starting to feel a little more functional at the sound of David’s soothing voice. He started to take longer breaths as he let his friend’s words sink in. They echoed something Rob had said.  It had been in a text, when he had sent that playlist.  Something about there being no way around the pain of a break up.  Rob’s mom had also said something to that effect in the note she included with her cookies.  “ _Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.”_ These vile feelings and whatever the hell else this pain was, were going to happen.  It was inevitable.  He was going to have to man up and suffer through.

After recovering for a few more minutes, he finally drew himself up again.  He turned to David and they shared a look that he would look back on and characterize as Warbler Gold.  Sebastian took another deep breath before drinking some water and looking down the trail behind him.  “Let’s go, DJ. We gotta beat those stupidly hot soccer players to the top.”

And they did.  

 

[x](https://jonglass.me/2012/06/11/lessons-from-the-rock-1-limits/)

…

 

The trip down from Half Dome was less of a hike and more of a controlled fall.  Sebastian and David hurtled down the trail, ignoring their tired muscles and motivated by the promise of a shower and the gourmet meal Jay and Karen were preparing. Once they enjoyed both with great relief, they sat down in comfortable canvas chairs, complete with foot rests.  

Sebastian felt his tired body relax as he settled into his seat, his half lidded gaze dimly focused on the campfire.  Karen had tucked a blanket around his legs and gone with Jay to wash the dishes at the nearby community faucet.

David was looking into the fire too, his expression thoughtful.  Then he looked  over at his exhausted friend and decided it was time to head into the waters even Santana Lopez hadn’t waded in all summer.  “Seb…” he started quietly, not making an eye contact.  “At the base of the dome...at the bottom of the rock stairs...you said that… that you didn’t know.  But you said it wasn’t just that you didn’t know if you could finish the hike.  What else didn’t you know?”

Sebastian felt a familiar impulse to shove down the upset feeling that was beginning to pool in his stomach. This time, however, he didn’t have the energy kick it any farther down.  His fatigue was making the emotion seep out of him and he finally just gave up, vaguely remembering something Rob had said in a text - there was no getting around having to face up to the bad and the ugly. Rob probably didn’t just mean that there was no way around feeling the pain, but that there was no way around having to deal with it, to talk about it.  He glanced over at David, who was looking at him with a calm, empathetic expression.  There was no expectation or judgment in that face.

He swallowed and pulled his jacket a little tighter around him  as he answered, a bit haltingly. “I didn’t know if I could...keep going.  I was just feeling exhausted..but yeah, not just because I’m so damn out of shape.  I’m tired from the fallout of the whole Blaine thing.  It sent us both for such a spin.  I kept wondering if he was okay but I didn’t want to call him, and I couldn’t move myself to do much of anything else.  It was all just so freaking exhausting.  I just wasn’t sure if I could...take it anymore.”  His voice choked up a bit and he covered his face with one hand.  “I’m okay now...just...fuck...when is it going to stop feeling like this?”  His chest felt heavier than ever.  He couldn’t remember what it was like to not feel like he was carrying around a stone in it.  

David looked sympathetic.  “I don’t know...but I’m sorry.  It’s hard to let go of a relationship.  And it’s Blaine...I’m sure you really miss him,” he remarked quietly.    

Sebastian’s eyes grew wet.  “God, can you imagine Camping!Blaine?” he asked, huffing out a mirthless chuckle and staring into the fire.  “He’d be taking a zillion pictures and wearing shorts with too many pockets and singing James Taylor every night with his guitar.”

“And Simon and Garfunkel,” David said fondly.

“And The Indigo Girls…” Sebastian said with a quiet sigh.

“He’d be cooking…” David said with a smile.

“Not tonight, he would have gone up with us.  Those rock steps...” Sebastian chuckled with more humor.  “He would have had to crawl up some of the big ones…”

David smiled. “Hah, yes, he’s our Mighty Mouse...”

Sebastian was sober again, picturing Blaine making them take a selfie at the top of Half Dome.  He looked at his feet and said in a monotone, “He’d be way too fucking chipper but he’d....”   _He’d make everything better._

David smiled softly, but tread carefully.  “Why, exactly, are you not getting in touch with him?”

Sebastian pondered the question, reaching for his beer in the cupholder of his chair.  “It’s too soon.”  He forgot to take a drink.  “It got fucked up, DJ.  I was a grade A asshole, treated him like he should never be treated.”  He stared at the flame flickering before him.  “And he wanted to just forgive me.  He loves too much, he’s always been like that, you know that.  I shouldn’t have swooped in right after he broke up with Hummel.  He wanted too much, too soon.  We moved too fast.”  Sebastian looked solemn, the firelight reflecting in his green eyes.  He sipped more beer.  “I’m not going to get in the way again of him finally getting his feet under him.”  

His voice sounded odd as he continued, saying what had to be said.  “We figured out in Paris that we shouldn’t be together.  He needs something else.  We’re...we’re too different.”  A hard expression crossed Sebastian’s face.   _He needs to find someone worthy of him._

David looked a bit apprehensive, but he nodded his head.  “Well, maybe you’ll be able to reconnect down the road.  But whatever happens...”  He stopped himself.  Sebastian was never one to want unsolicited advice.

Sebastian replaced his drink into the cupholder of one chair arm and pulled out a bar of chocolate that Karen had stashed in the other.  He looked up with questioning eyes.  “Whatever happens, what?” he looked over soberly.  He ripped open the wrapper of the truffle bar.  “You’ve been through break-ups, lay it on me, brother.”  
  
David looked him in the eye.  “Whatever happens, just make sure you work through what happened before.  I mean, whatever happened between you this year that didn't work...you have to forgive yourself for it, and let it go."  David shrugged and looked sympathetic. "But that’s easier said than done.”  David forged ahead steadily, and something in his tone made it clear that he was not pushing Sebastian to seek reconciliation with Blaine.  He just wanted Sebastian to talk through more of it.  “But if anyone can do it, you two can.  It’s impressive, what you guys did.  You survived long distance way longer than most people do...that takes relationship skill.”

Sebastian was feeling a bit overwhelmed at what David had laid out.  He finished  a segment of the chocolate bar.  “I don’t know if impressive is the word,” he said finally, pulling his blanket more tightly around him.  “But we gave it a shot.  Someone else will have to wash his gel muck out of their hoodies.”  A few more tears made their way down his cheek.  “Someone else will have to listen to him comic dork out, and go to his geek conventions.”  He stood up, ducking his head as he did.  “Good night, DJ.”  He patted David’s shoulder as he moved past him.  

Karen was nowhere to be found in their tent.  As he took his shoes off, Sebastian thought hazily that she and Jay probably heard what he and David were discussing and tactfully stayed away.  They probably went on a walk or something.  Wherever she was, he hoped she would stay there for awhile.  He opened the sleeping bag and lay face down inside, the air mattress sagging under his weight.   

He felt so far away from Blaine. He had never been in so much pain and all he could do was close his eyes and literally grit his teeth to bear it.  He had done such a shitty job of being what Blaine needed and  what he deserved.  Being with Blaine had been his chance to have what he never thought he’d have, and he’d blown it.  He’d failed and now it was gone...the intimacy of just being together, the indescribably phenomenal sex, the in-jokes, the plans that were now  never going to happen.  Blaine would never be his in that way again.

Sebastian was crying hard now, and he didn’t stop for a long time.  He had use his t-shirt sleeve to wipe the mucus-mess that his face was becoming, just so he could breathe.  Before long, Karen crawled into the sleeping bag and lay down behind him, laying her cheek on his back and hugging him.  

He let her.

 

…

 

In the morning Sebastian slept very late.   Karen had pinned a note to her pillow saying she, David and Jay were at the nearby lodge cafeteria for breakfast.  He was  groggy as he sat up, but once he blinked for a few minutes he realized that for the first time since he was in Paris, he felt motivated to go for a run.

 

When he was finished and had coffee and a bagel, he returned to see his friends breaking down the tents.  If they noticed a difference in him, if they had rejoiced that he had gone running like his old self, they didn’t say anything about it.   

“How did you do it?” Karen asked David as they packed the gear into the car.

“Ain’t nothin’ but a Warbler thing,” David replied, without a trace of swagger.

Sebastian’s mood elevation from his run and the coffee didn’t last long.  The summer’s fatigue still lingered in his  body and the long drive back to the Bay Area felt like a gloomy return to reality.  The idea of going back to the crappy corporate apartment and having to sit there alone for two and a half weeks until Rob got back and the dorms opened was too depressing to contemplate.  

Sebastian also thought with irritation that Jay or Karen had better not insist on staying with him.  He could use a break from them after spending night after night with them for all summer.  He could barely believe that he had survived spending almost 24/7 with them over the past  four days, on a camping trip of all things.  The deluxe air mattress and the six person tent that Jay had brought for him and Karen were apparently top-of-the-line, but Sebastian just didn’t ever camp.  The one five star hotel in the park had been booked, so he had been stuck.

Now he was going to be stuck in housing purgatory without even an internship to keep him occupied.  The only thing he would have to do was supervise the move of his furniture and other belongings out of storage.  He really wanted to skip to burying himself under the duvet of his own luxury bed while Rob to fended off any annoyingly cheerful visitors. 

David glanced over from the driver’s seat to see Sebastian’s face looking stormy again, but he didn’t say anything.  Backsliding was going to happen.

Thankfully, Sebastian fell asleep eventually.  He slept hard and when he woke up he felt very disoriented, like a truck had run over him.  Or maybe he wasn’t awake.  Because as he blinked his eyes open in late afternoon sunshine, it felt more like a dream.  It looked like...

“Hey.”  Rob said in his deep, calm voice.  The sun shone on his blond hair and his blue eyes were affectionate and amused through the rolled-down window.  “Time to get up, Van Winkle,” he said as he opened the car door.  

Sebastian blinked some more as he got out of the car less than gracefully.  “Hey…” he said, a bit bewildered as his roommate gave him a quick hug.   “Weren’t you…”

“Got out of my third cousin’s wedding and got an earlier flight back, wanted some time to settle in…”  Rob said briskly.  “Thanks to all that flirting you did with Susie last year, she wielded her RA powers and let us move into Roble early.”

“We got movers to pack up all your things and get your furniture and stuff from storage into Roble,” Karen explained, smiling happily.  “It’s a late birthday present from all of us.”

Jay and David were looking pleased as they got Sebastian’s luggage out of the back of the car.

Sebastian looked at each one of his friends before him as he took his weekender bag from Jay.  His mood was lifting as it all sunk in,  everything they had done for him.  He actually smirked.  “I know I’m your idea of masculine perfection, but you don’t have to treat me like an actual Ken doll by  moving me and my furniture into Roble like it’s your Barbie dreamhouse.”   He waved a dismissive hand at them, looking more like his roguish self.  "Now get out of my business, go home and get a life..."

Jay smiled indulgently as he moved to hug Sebastian.  “You were nicer when you were depressed.  Bye.”

Only Jay could get away with that.  Sebastian smacked his ass lightly before they pulled away from each other.  “Shut up,” he said.  “Go shag your cliche' of a hot doctor.”

David chuckled and gave him a Warbler grip as he hugged Sebastian.  “See you soon.  We should get back in the fencing studio this weekend.  I’ll text you.”  

“Yeah,” Sebastian replied quietly. The look in his green eyes was something  like gratitude.

Karen came up to him, her theater training delivering a skilled Dorothy Gale impression.  “I think I’ll miss you most of all, ” she said with wide-eyed charm as she hugged him.  Sebastian tousled her hair and pushed her away, rolling his eyes.  

Rob was looking on with approval.  He took Sebastian’s backpack from David and slung it over one shoulder.  He threw his other arm around Sebastian and said humorously, “Come on now.  Let’s go.  There’s No Place Like Home.”

“Really?”  Sebastian gave him a derisive look and let out a little groan as they started up the walkway towards Roble.

Rob shrugged. "Oh come on, that joke was RIGHT there, hanging in our faces like a bat. I had to."

"No, you really didn't," Sebastian said disparagingly.  "And if you start talking about how you're Batman and I'm the Joker again I'm going to beat your brains in."

“Karen needed a bookend to her joke.”

“Her _bad_ joke.”

“I was thinking you were the Scarecrow, but now I’m thinking you’re the Lion with all this growling.”  Rob’s eyebrows raised.  “Baron could be your Toto.  The fam demands you go home with me this weekend, by the way.    Fencing will have to wait, your adoring public awaits.”

“Your mangy dog is more like one of those flying monkeys.”

Karen watched fondly as the bantering pair walked away from them.  

David was texting Santana, Sam, and Nick.

_DAVID: He’s back._

 

 

…

Blaine’s mouth dropped slightly open and he let out something between a groan and a sigh.  

Sam and Tina were across the dining room table from him and looked up expectantly.

Blaine pushed his Ipad across the table so they could see the email from Trent Nixon that included a screenshot of an instagram post of Sebastian, looking muscled and gorgeous at the gym.  Trent had drawn an arrow at the last comment on the post: 

 

_↳ INSTAGRAM: @robandrewdean has uploaded a new photo._

_@Sebastiansmythe getting gunned up to fight the sophomore slump_

_❤ 83 LIKES_  
_✐ 13 COMMENTS_

 _@jaytbaker How the heck did you bulk up that much in a month?!?  I’d kill for your genes_  
  
_@robandrewdean Come lift with us, @jaytbaker.  Seb’s a beast so we go for longer, that’s the difference.  Plus whey_  
  
_@marcmichaels And creatine and glutamine.  I’ll explain on our date @sebastiansmythe :)_

_— view all..._

 

Tina took a quick look, raised her eyebrows and went back to the article she had been reading.  “You look better than him.  You win.”

Blaine shook his head.  “No, read the last comment.”

Sam, who had been looking at the photo with some sentiment, read the last comment by someone with the handle @marcmichaels.  “Oh.  Someone named Marc wrote that he’s going to explain bodybuilding natural supplements to Seb.  On their date.”  He looked up at his best friend with sympathetic blue eyes. “Sorry, man.”

 Tina closed her laptop and looked again, her face softening.  “Oh...Oh Blainers, I’m sorry.”

Blaine looked solemn and sad.  He stood up.  “Well, there it is.  I knew it was going to come sometime.  I prepared myself as much as I could.”  He closed his eyes and leaned on the edge of the table, letting out a little groan.  “Okay.  Okay, then.”  He took a deep breath and walked from the room.  “Get dressed, we’re going to open mic night,” he called behind him.  

Sam and Tina got up quickly.  

 “Where is it, again?  Is there cheesecake?  You might need cheesecake if singing doesn't do the trick.” Tina said, checking her hair in the hall mirror.

Blaine came out with his guitar and put on his shoes.

“Heck if I know, I still get lost coming home…” Sam said as he headed to his room to change his shirt and Tina went to hers for a jacket.

Blaine was looking on his phone at the Instagram post.

 

…

 

 

Sebastian was looking on his phone at the Instagram post.  Marc was an MBA student, probably in his late twenties and charming as hell - in a down to earth way.  He had chatted up Sebastian at the gym, gotten Sebastian to laugh, and asked him out.  Sebastian hadn’t given him an answer.  He’d just gone home to eat cookies and lay facedown on his bed, feeling like he was bleeding out a little.  It had been a month since Yosemite and he wanted to just go lay in El Capitan meadow and pretend nothing else existed.

 

[x](https://www.flickr.com/photos/stephenmoehle/24302991063)

The presumptuous instagram comment would have been obnoxious if Marc, when he wasn’t being charmingly forward, didn’t seem so damned trustworthy.  Still, Sebastian stepped outside the front door and went for a walk in the warm September night.

  
...

 

Blaine didn’t feel particularly motivated to sing when he got to the crowded cafe.  He shifted uncomfortably in the line of performers, still not used to how crowded everything in Los Angeles was.  It was all such a far cry from Westerville or the cozy city of Edinburgh.  It was hard to get in the zone to perform.  That being said, he suspected his reluctance was more because of the turn of events than it was the packed room.  But it didn’t help.

As it turned out, he wouldn’t need to sing at all to get some catharsis.  A woman ahead of him in line sang the song he needed to hear.  It was what Blaine called “one of those God moments.”

 

 _[Listen to “The Heart of the Matter” by India Arie on youtube at http://bit.ly/2td2GOO or on spotify at http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2]_  

 _I got the call today I didn't wanna hear_  
_But I knew that it would come_ _  
An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone_

 _She said you'd found someone_  
_And I thought of all the bad luck and all the struggles we went through_  
_How I lost me, and you lost you_  
  
He really had lost himself again. Yet he had found parts of himself, too.  But maybe what he didn't notice was Sebastian losing himself?  
  
_What are all these voices outside love's open doo_ r  
_Make us throw off our contentment and beg for something_ _more_?

Sebastian stared up at the moon down the twin rows of palm trees on the Stanford campus.  He missed Blaine, a painful amount.  But then here was this Marc guy, whatever the heck he was.  It made Sebastian feel like a two-faced asshole for even thinking about him.  It was probably just a reflex - Sebastian had always been drawn to Marc’s type.  He was the type of older guy who was hot not only because of his looks and charm, but also because of a certain brand of confidence.  He just felt solid.  He had been around the block and was wiser for it, but wasn’t obnoxious about it.  He knew when to pull back from teasing.  He was astute, he seemed...reliable. Sebastian hated that he craved that, even a little.

  
_But I miss you sometimes_  
 _The more I know, the less I understand_  
 _All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again_

Blaine was singing along now, along with a few others in the room.  His tearful eyes met the singer’s.  She gave him an empathetic smile back.

 _I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter_ _  
_ _But my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter_

 _But I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness_ _  
_ _Even if, even if you don't love me anymore_

  
Sebastian came home late, stopping only to rap on Rob’s door.  “Night,” he called before he went to lay down on his back, his shoes still on.  

 

…

 

Blaine gave a sad but sweet smile to his roommates as they stood in their respective doorways on their way to bed.  “Thank you for listening to me work through that.  I think I’m going to be okay.”

Sam looked a little rueful but he smiled supportively.  “Anytime.”

Tina was looking thoughtful.  “We should get you back out there, too, you know.  Out on a few dates.”

Blaine narrowed his eyes at her.  “Uh...I don’t know.”

“Just to get your feet wet...”

Blaine waved his hand in protest.  “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“Just think about it,” Tina said earnestly.

“Okay, okay.  Good night.”

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

Blaine closed his door, put his guitar in its stand and got ready for bed.  Moonlight was streaming into his room when he slipped under the sheets.  He tried not to think about Sebastian.  

Sebastian slipped under the sheets.  He thought about Blaine.  

They both lay in their respective beds, eyes wide open, for a long time, until they fell asleep.

 

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this kind of painful plow through the resuscitation of Sebastian and the revitalization of Blaine. Sorry for all the angst but it felt necessary, I didn't think I would do their journey justice by just jumping ahead to when they were dating other people and forging ahead. It just would have been too much of a jolt.
> 
> They will be more their normal selves in the chapters to come, I promise.
> 
> Please review, even if it's just to say "Hi, I'm still reading" for you veteran readers, or "Hi, I'm just discovering this because it always looked way too long to read but I'm desperate now because there isn't enough new Seblaine." I would not be offended by the latter in the least since I was once a oneshot reader myself. :)
> 
> So much gratitude to this chapter’s Beta readers, Alyssa and Ana. <3


	47. Awkward in Ohio / Getting Up Again [with Marc]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brings Marc, the grad student with an uncanny resemblance to Stephen Amell, and Sally, Sebastian’s near-stepmom, played by Naomi Watts. Since we really only got a taste of Sebastian’s headspace in the last chapter, this chapter fills you in on Seb’s POV. Leave it to good ole Rob to get some of it out of him, even. Hopefully you’ll find some relief as we make what hopefully feels like a significant shift from angst to just plain drama. We included some comedy, too, for good measure. The First Time episode flashback is almost pure indulgence and there is some fun with the return of both Jealous!Sebastian and HammeredOutofHisMind!Sebastian. The latter means the return of Shirtless!Sebastian, in keeping with the HammeredOutofHisMind tradition in the Halloween chapter (4) that you first read many moons ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to the Beta Babes for this chapter: Ana, Alyssa, Hiba, and Megan! I’m so grateful for you ❤

  _ _

[ X ](http://blainesebastian.tumblr.com/post/83690722087/love-lower-your-eyes-leave-me-a-sign-follow-the)

 

Sebastian wandered out of his dorm at about 11PM.  His lacrosse teammate and Roble Hall neighbor Thomas had been an international student orientation leader and was now taking full advantage of being one of the first to meet the new crop of freshmen girls (and boys - Thomas had come out as bisexual that summer, which was not at all shocking to Sebastian.)  Summer had also improved Thomas’s ability to pour a lethal cocktail, and Sebastian had had enough tonight to feel it.  The Moscow Mules (wtf kind of name for a drink was that) weren’t as familiar and tranquilizing as his top shelf scotch, but they did the trick. He was definitely a little sloshed.

He wasn’t nearly as drunk as he had been in the Castro last week.  He wasn't even really drunk, just tipsy.   He was just a bit looser than usual, maybe a bit sweeter...but still under control of all of his facilities.  

Eyelids heavy, Seb glanced at his phone, mentally checking off a list.  Radio silence from his father, check.  No posts from Blaine on any social media, check.  He officially qualified as a creeper for checking off the last thing, check.  

Sebastian’s expression was sardonic as he shoved his phone in his pocket.  He looked aimlessly up at the moon as he approached the quad.   It was lustrous and luminous - like he had been, once.

His phone sounded with a text.

 

_MARC: This is your second friendly reminder that you and I should have that drink._

 

Sebastian stared at his phone for a moment.  Marc Michaels was persistent, he’d give him that.  They’d only met yesterday morning at the gym, but that same day Marc had commented on Rob’s instagram to tease him about going on a date.  Now these family-friendly texts reminded him of others in what felt like a very distant past.

Even just the Instagram comment had made Sebastian think about Blaine last night.  His drunken night with Charlie, Pauline and Jay had certainly been a failed exercise in trying _not_ to think about Blaine.  So last night, in contrast, he had wandered the campus, dead sober, until he  just gave in to the desire.  He thought about Blaine, all of Blaine, for longer than he’d let himself since the break-up.  

He thought about Blaine’s tenderness, his intelligence, his soothing presence, his thoughtfulness, his loving influence on everything around him. He thought about his enthusiasms and his gentle wit, his funny quirks and driving ambition, about his beauty and his faith. And when he got home and slipped into bed, he thought about Blaine’s exquisite and lustworthy body, and the way he looked at Sebastian as he entered him.  Sebastian thought about Blaine’s bedroom eyes as he closed his own and wrapped his hand around his cock.

He missed Blaine so much that it physically hurt, but he also thought about how it would be even more miserable to see him again right now.  Most of all, he thought about his Skype call with Rob last week.  It was after that call when he had finally recognized that irrational part of him that had been waiting for Blaine to change his mind.  For no good reason, part of Sebastian had been waiting for Blaine to re-emerge from the ashes and insist that Sebastian was good enough.  Sebastian was good enough, with his pitiable communication skills and meager knowledge of relationships - what a delusional thought.  

He had fallen asleep thinking about how stupid that was.  He knew he had to give up on Blaine, on Seb and Blaine, on all of it. He had learned to bear not having what he wanted in the past: an available mother or father, a best friend.  In fact, he had survived losing Blaine before - twice, in fact, of you counted the Nightbird/trophy escapades.  He would take it in the chin and go on.  His father was irritatingly right.  He had to stop mooning and move on.

Sebastian stared at his phone for a few more seconds. Was this how to move on?  Marc’s tenacity would be pathetic or even laughable coming from anyone else, but Sebastian knew better.  He could tell even from one encounter that Marc Michaels was simply the kind of guy who knew what he wanted and went after it, plain and simple.  He was relentless, but he did it in such a charismatically convincing manner that eventually everyone succumbed.  He was like Hunter Clarington, before that hot bastard had gotten too cocky.  Except Marc was older and wiser.

But not too old.

Marc was also a lot more relaxed than Hunter Clarington. This was not a guy looking for an epic romance (not that Hunter was, closetted as he was).

Sebastian stopped at a bench, feeling the alcohol in his limbs as he sat down.  His typing was slow, but he wasn’t too drunk to manage a snarky reply:

 

_SEBASTIAN: I’ve already had the drinks I’m going to have tonight.  Are stalker skills part of the MBA marketng curiculum?_

 

He  waited, wondering if Marc would be scared off by a little bite.  He doubted it.

 

_MARC: Nope, it’s an entrepreneurial operations elective.  But the content of what you say while you stalk, is derived from the marketing core course.  Which means you get partial credit._

_SEBASTIAN: So what distinguishes Marc Michaels from the rest of the market?_

_MARC: I’m wise, smart, kind, I have a strong moral compass.  And I’m told I’m excellent in bed ;)_

_SEBASTIAN: And you’re told you’re oh so modest_

_MARC: Something tells me that modesty is not your strong suit, either._

_SEBASTIAN: Is this you bein wise?_

_MARC: This is me being observant of the way you swagger around the gym._

_SEBASTIAN: Swagger knows swagger_

_MARC: Where are you?  And how drunk are you?_

_SEBASTIAN: Northwest of the quad and feelin’ no pain.  Not very.  I drank the better part of the Castro last week so this week I’m taking a break from being THAT guy_

_MARC: I’m heading back to campus anyway and can pick you up.  But don’t judge that I’m driving an Acura, Rich Boy.  It’s a rental_

 

Sebastian studied his phone for a long moment, made longer by his alcohol buzz.  An Acura.  His tipsy mind zeroed in on his most recent thoughts about Nick’s Acura. It was the beginning of the end.

 

...

 

_[Two weeks prior]_

 

_SEBASTIAN: Is Blaine driving his car out to UCLA next week?_

_SAM: Yep, on Thur.  Why do you ask?_

_SEBASTIAN: Planning my trip to Ohio to see my grandmother_

_SAM: When are you coming here?_

_SEBASTIAN: As soon as Blaine leaves for UCLA_

 

Sebastian looked a bit grim at the prospect.  But if he ended up having a tragic rebound fuck with Tristan, the hot twenty-something actor who had hit on him at the Tavern last Christmas, he shouldn’t be running into Blaine at the Lima Bean the next morning.

 

_SAM: Why? Don't you think you guys should talk?  You should talk face to face._

_SEBASTIAN:  Stay out of this, Sammy._

_SAM: You guys are so good together, I just don’t understand._

_SEBASTIAN: No, we’re actually not so good together.  Leave it alone.  I mean it.  Just trust me, it’s better for Blaine and I not to see each other right now ._

_SAM: Why?  You guys need to fix things.  It doesn’t sound like anything terrible happened, I know you ran into those guys you’ve slept with in Paris but Blaine doesn’t care about that.  I know no one cheated, you can fix things._

 

Sebastian sighed quietly. He didn’t know how to respond.  Sam was too much like Blaine, too romantic, and Sebastian had zero desire to help him see reason.  He wasn’t about to explain how horribly he had treated Blaine, to Sam of all people.

_SAM: Sorry.  It’s good to hear from you.  Hope you’re doin ok_

_SEBASTIAN: I’m ok.  Blaine’s okay?_

 

Sam arched an eyebrow, looking intrigued.  Sebastian was asking about Blaine, that had to be a good sign.

 

_SAM: Yeah.  He’s doin better._

_SEBASTIAN: Don’t tell him I asked about him_

_SAM: Why not?_

_SEBASTIAN:  Because it’s better that way.  Better for Blaine.  Promise you won’t tell him or anyone (Tina, Pasty Boy, ANYONE) I asked.  On your grandmother’s bible_

_SAM:  Fine.  But how long are you going to freeze him out before you finally get back together?_

_SEBASTIAN: If you keep talking about how Blaine and I should get back together I’m going to block you._

 

Sam looked frustrated now.

 

_SAM: Ok, sorry.  But I don’t get it._

_SEBASTIAN: I’ll explain in person sometime._

 

Which would be when? Sebastian felt a pressure on his heart.  He shouldn’t have let this texting go on for so long.

 

_SEBASTIAN: I gotta go._

_SAM:  Ok.  Take care.  I miss you, man_

 

Sebastian felt even worse.  He thought he had lost custody of Sam,  but here he was, like a freaking puppy on his doorstep.  

 

_SEBASTIAN: I miss you too - mostly your abs._

_SAM: hahah_  
_  
SEBASTIAN: Rob asked about you.  He wants you to visit us soon_

_SAM: That would be great.  I just have to save another $1000 to buy a car.  Mine wouldn’t make it across the country, so I sold it to our neighbor._

_SEBASTIAN: How the hell are you going to live in LA without a car?_

_SAM: Blaine and Tina’s cars, the bus_

  
Sebastian looked the phone with a furrowed brow.  This was not an existence he could fully comprehend for Sam.

 

_SAM: Haha I know you can’t imagine taking the bus, but it’s not bad.  The Santa Monica ones that run around UCLA are really nice!  I saw them when we visited Cooper last summer._

_SEBASTIAN: I’ll fly you up._

_SAM: idk, that’s a lot of money, Seb. I’d feel bad_

_SEBASTIAN: I’ve got freq flier miles you can use.  They’re going to expire anyway.  Or Nick can drive you up, he’s always coming up_

_SEBASTIAN: I really have to go.  Connect with Nick_

_SAM: Ok, that’s really nice of you.  Thanks, man.  It will be good to see you._

 

Sam looked thoughtful as he shoved his phone in his pocket.

 

…

 

Sebastian pocketed his phone and strode from the guest room towards Rob’s childhood bedroom.  Ever since he’d gotten back from Yosemite, he’d had been thinking about everything: everything that happened before Paris, everything he had said in anger in Paris, everything that Blaine had said and done.  He tried not to dwell on how much he missed Blaine, but his mind was motivated to process the events that passed.  He didn’t fully recognize it, but Rob’s return was the last measure needed for him to finally face it all.  The summer with Karen, Jay and David had slowly built his capacity for it, and now Rob’s soothing presence gave him the length and breadth to begin making sense of it all.

As he strode down the hallway to Rob’s room, Sebastian rubbed his forehead and wished that there was scotch in the Dean family liquor cabinet downstairs.   Maybe inviting Sam was not a good idea.  Sam would just be a giant blond reminder of how much he missed Blaine for a whole weekend.  

He came into the room, glancing at the pile of folded laundry on the bed before landing with his legs outstretched on the floor at the footboard.  “Hey,” Rob looked over from his desk, then turned back to his laptop.  He was used to  Sebastian’s visits.

Sebastian rested his long arms across the edge of the footboard and tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling as his mind continued to stew on the subject of Sam and Blaine.  Maybe it would be okay if Sam came to visit.  Sebastian was toughening up about this stuff, this could help him get even tougher, so he could see Blaine again.  

After all, he couldn’t imagine his life, in the long run, without Blaine in it. He really wanted be able to think about him and be with him without feeling sick.  If he couldn’t marry Blaine some day, he still wanted to be able to laugh with him, to talk over life with him.  They could still argue and discuss music, theater, books, and politics.  He could still tease him, even flirt and play around with him.  Sure, he wouldn’t be Blaine’s leading man or his sexual partner anymore, but it was better that way.  That way Blaine could have everything he deserved.

Sebastian took a deep breath and drew his long legs up, curling into himself.  He looked over at the back of Rob.  “Sam might come up to visit.  With Nick.”

Rob stopped his game, but he didn’t turn around.  His lips set in a firm line and he nodded his head, his blue eyes thoughtful.  “Ok,” he said quietly, sensing there was more.  

“He’s going to talk about Blaine, but that’s fine, I’m going to have to get used to that.  I mean, eventually I’ll be talking to Blaine again myself.”

Rob was still listening carefully.  He turned around in his seat slowly and looked down at Sebastian, his gaze patient.  His roommate’s green eyes didn’t linger on Rob for long, and there was thinly disguised worry in them.  “Sure,” Rob said reassuringly, nodding his head slightly.  “Sure.”

Sebastian glanced down and took a deep breath.  This was all so new to him.   He looked back to meet Rob’s calming glance again, but it wasn’t enough.  He moved to get up and pace the room, his arms crossed as he tried to get his words out calmly.  “I don’t mean that I’m going to talk to him to try to get back together, though.  We weren’t good for each other.  I mean, we were for awhile, but we did it wrong, we got together too fast.  It’s...better this way.”

Rob leaned back in his desk chair, gripping the arm rests lightly.  “Yeah?” he asked patiently.   In the last few days he could practically see Sebastian’s mind whirring - while at the gym, when they were running errands, and on the long drive to Rob’s parents house in Ojai.  Here at last was some of what was going on in his roommate’s head.  

Sebastian’s green eyes were unsettled as he made eye contact again with his roommate.   He crossed his arms tighter and leaned against the doorway. “Yeah.  We kept thinking we were something that we weren’t, some fairytale romance, when really I turned out to be the fucking rebound guy, after all.  I was there after his cancelled wedding, Blaine finds the best in anyone, so it happened.”  He ran his fingers through his hair and looked past Rob out the window.  “Maybe it worked _because_ we were long distance.  It made it easy for me to imagine that Blaine would never…”  He caught himself before he said “hurt me.” He bit his lower lip.  “...That he had worked through all his stuff.  And he could love me from afar, thinking I could be Prince Charming boyfriend material.”  He let out an almost imperceptible sigh.  “Blaine loves everyone, and he loves the Beast from Beauty and the Beast too much.”

Rob looked a bit troubled, but said nothing.  

Sebastian looked bothered by his roommate’s countenance.  His brow furrowed and he spoke more pointedly.  “Don’t go soft on me now.  We don’t...fit together…he’s…he’s too different from me, and he’s too...romantic.”  He looked away, knowing his words weren’t really true.  But he did know his next words were true and he met Rob’s blue eyes with greater certainty.  “And I’m definitely not what he needs.”  He swallowed and his expression grew more rueful, though his words were still forceful.  “I lost it, Rob, when I realized he hid the fact that he was talking to his ex again.  I thought he had lied to me and had been secretly stringing me along, and I went off the fucking deep end.  I went after everything I knew would hurt him most, and, I sliced him open with it.”  Tears sprang to his eyes, and he looked away.  “I sounded like my dad, that’s what Blaine said,” he added bitterly. _Blaine said that I’m turning into my dad._

Rob looked puzzled.  “Really, he said that?”  

Sebastian nodded, shrugging.  “Even Blaine Anderson loses his filter when he’s been cut open.  He apologized as soon as I let him, of course.”  Sebastian was now focused out the window again and he looked far away for a moment.  

Rob waited, giving Sebastian a few beats.  He spoke up quietly and plainly.  “You’re not your dad.”

 _Yet._ Sebastian resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  Rob had never even met his dad.  He took a deep breath and looked back at his roommate  with resolution.  “We can’t be together.  I’m not letting it happen.  That fight, or anything like it, can’t happen again.”  He shrugged again, tears threatening again behind his eyes.  

Rob waved at him to come back into the room again, gesturing for Sebastian to sit down and moving to clear laundry off the edge of the bed.  “How do you know you’ll make the same mistake twice?” he asked reasonably.

Sebastian came in a little reluctantly and ignored Rob’s efforts in favor of sliding down to the floor again.  He crossed his arms as he leaned back against the foot of the bed.  “Because nothing has changed.  I don’t know how they could, on my end.  And Blaine…”  He studied the  hardwood floor and looked sober.  “He needs more time to get his act together...he was holding on too hard again.  He wanted to make our big romance work so badly that he tiptoed around me the whole second week in Paris. He was afraid I’d meltdown, or something.”  He swallowed and looked a bit pale as he added softly,  “He was so scared of me.”  He was barely conscious that he had said his last statement.

Sebastian remembered Blaine’s eyes during the first fight in Paris.  They looked like his mother’s eyes during that huge fight in the kitchen when Sebastian was about eight years old.  He could feel the paneling on the stairwell that he hid in as he watched.  
 

_His mother’s green eyes had been fiery at first._

_“You treat him like a dog, Bill!”_

_“You coddle him!”_  

_“I’m done.  I’m taking him and going to Paris, I swear to god.”_

_“If you don’t think I’ll fight you for him, for FULL CUSTODY with every damned dollar I have, you are mistaken, Adrienne.”_

_That’s when he had seen it, the fear in his mother’s eyes, the struggle to not look as panicked as she suddenly felt.  She had been trying to hold her ground, but the chilling fear of losing her son struck her with force._

  
  
That’s what he had seen in Blaine’s eyes.  Sebastian had made that happen, just like his dad had.  
  
 

_Bill’s voice was thick with venom. “As if a judge would grant custody to the flaky artist who drinks like a fish.”_

_Sebastian’s breaths were short and shallow. His palms started to feel slippery and his small body closed in on itself more.  They needed to stop fighting about him. This was definitely happening, their family was going to break up.  Why did he have to be such a pain?  Could kids fly on airplanes alone?   Maybe he could make it fair and take turns, with Mere and then with Daddy.  Why did he have to be so much trouble that they never wanted another kid?  If he had a brother or sister, they could switch, his brother with Mere while he was with Daddy, and the other way around.  That way no one would be alone._

 

There was a long silence before Sebastian came out of his memory.  He winked a tear away as he crossed his legs under him and looked up at Rob, his face full of muted grief.  He had to say it.  He had to say it out loud.  “Blaine and I will never get back together again.  I won’t let it happen.”

Rob studied him, his heart hurting for his friend.  He had a lot of arguments for why Sebastian might not be right, but it would be useless to articulate them.  He recognized that look in Sebastian’s eye - there was no point in talking about it more right now.  

Rob heard the clacking of his dog’s feet on the hallway flooring.  Baron needed his nails trimmed.  Rob gave his dog a slight smile as the family pet came in the room for a scratch behind the ears.  Then Rob lifted his eyebrows as Baron, who had been looking at Sebastian, went over to put his head on the guest’s leg.  

Sebastian looked down at Baron for a moment, a bit nonplussed for a moment.  He studied the small furry face as he winked away another tear.  His face softened a bit as he looked into Baron’s eyes and said begrudgingly, “What’re you lookin’ at?”

He absently petted Baron’s white fur, though, while Rob put the laundry away.

 

...

 

_SEBASTIAN: When are you getting that Lexus?_

_NICK: Next week.  Why do you ask?_

_SEBASTIAN: You’re selling me your Acura.  Then you give it to Sam. Tell him it’s a tax write-off to give it to a starving artist, or some BS he’ll believe._

_NICK: Aw Seb_

_SEBASTIAN: And what goes without saying, Nicole?_

_NICK: Don’t worry, I won’t tell Sam or anyone else that you had anything to do with it._

_SEBASTIAN: See you Friday_

_NICK: It’s good to have you back, big guy_

 

…

 

In less than a week Sebastian was pulling his father’s Mercedes up to the Lima Bean in the early morning.  Today he might need an extra shot of espresso, depending on if Nick was good or annoying company.  As he put the car into park he looked up to see a large promotional sign in the front window, advertising the annual arrival of the pumpkin spice latte.  

Sebastian leaned back slowly in his seat.  Three years ago, those vile drinks had sparked an annual, lively, sparring match with Blaine.  It had started on their first coffee date, when they passed a large promotional sign while they were in line.  Sebastian had been unable to suppress the tiniest and quickest of grimaces.  It was the first of countless times Blaine would read Sebastian more keenly than anyone else.  

 

_“Not a fan?” Blaine had asked in his friendly way, gesturing at the sign with an innocent smile that made Sebastian want to crowd him up against the closest wall and kiss him until he wasn’t innocent anymore._

_Sebastian shrugged as he unconsciously flashed a genuine smile in return.  Normally he would have replied with some bullshit about how pumpkin spice lattes weren’t his thing, but “to each his own” - or something more witty than that.  Instead, for whatever reason, out came the more unvarnished truth, laced with his characteristic snark.  “No.  I can’t stand sugary coffee drinks as it is, but that one is the worst kind, it’s literally a piece of pie shoved into a cup to drown out any trace of dignity left in this world.”_

_“Hah, I’ve heard people diss the PSL before, but never with this kind of passion...”  was the amused reply.  Or something like that - Sebastian was only half paying attention in the face of the up close and personal view he was getting of Blaine Anderson’s unreasonably lush eyelashes._

_It occurred to him suddenly that Blaine didn’t mind a little snark. Sebastian gestured with a hand as he shrugged and said smoothly,   “I’m a Warbler, I have to be a little dramatic, no?  Though really, I don’t think it’s so histrionic, to want my coffee to taste like…” he cocked his head to the side with a charming smirk,  “...coffee!”_

_“It_ does _taste like coffee!”  Blaine protested, his eyes now crinkled up completely with mirth.  He was looking at Sebastian with more than just amusement, though.  Blaine Anderson was looking fascinated. “It’s just flavored coffee!  And the flavor is wonderful, pumpkin tastes just like autumn!  How can you not love pumpkin pie?”_

_Sebastian shook his head, his green eyes wide with mock earnestness.  “I never said I didn’t like pumpkin pie.  When baked by the right artist, it can be just fine.”  He arched a brow and smirked, feeling a rush of satisfaction that Blaine was not just looking charmed, but was now definitely looking attracted.  “It’s when Starbucks and its wannabes counterfeit it into an unrecognizable syrup and rape the coffee bean’s domain with it...”_

_Blaine laughed again and his bright smile was completely infectious.  They hadn’t even said anything funny, yet Sebastian was smiling again, even showing teeth here and there, repeatedly using non-smirking facial muscles that he didn’t use often.  It was starting to be a little unsettling, actually.  But maybe it wasn't the worst thing that could happen.  Anyway, he couldn’t stop if he tried._

 

He had been surprised that Blaine was so attracted to such an unfiltered version of Sebastian that day.  He  had thought for sure that Blaine Anderson would be more into a different kind of guy. Namely, the smooth, sophisticated, refined type that Sebastian had pretended to be at Dalton when they first met.  

Blaine Anderson, after all, had been able to able to infuse elegance and irresistable charm into a trashy song like “Teenage Dream.”  Of course, elegance was part of the bloodline.  Sebastian had looked up Blaine’s background on the Dalton legacy website and he found that the Andersons were the cream of tristate aristocracy.  The Smythes might have a higher net worth, but they were practically nouveau riche in comparison.  Blaine had many Dalton alumni in his family tree: his father Richard Anderson, who was an alum and now CEO of a Fortune 100 healthcare company; an uncle Willy Anderson, who was about Sebastian’s father’s age; Blaine’s grandfather Richard Anderson the III; a first cousin once removed Henry Anderson; a grand uncle James Anderson, who was Dean of Harvard Medical School in his day; a great grandfather Richard II.  Sebastian was pretty sure Dalton didn’t exist any further back then that.  

As Sebastian watched and rewatched Blaine’s performance videos, he was sure he had never seen anyone quite like this before - someone with so much unabashed, heartfelt sincerity.  He forged a connection with the audience that led the Warblers to victory despite the sad choreography and sappy nature of the earworm that was “Hey Soul Sister.”  In the same way, Blaine’s earnestness made him so distractingly adorable that you didn’t even notice Nick’s unfortunate long hair phase or just how disgusting Breadstix was as a venue for  “Silly Love Songs.”

All of Blaine’s talent and charisma was exhibited without a drop of self-consciousness or a moment of winking at the audience as Sebastian liked to do.  The latter just wasn’t Blaine’s style.  Instead, he simply dug into every song with both feet and immersed himself completely.  At the same time, he was never trying too hard, or taking himself too seriously, either.  That was clear from the pure joy undulating from him after every performance - he was having so much fun and he didn’t care who knew it.  There wasn’t a diva bone in his hot little body.  

All of this had made Sebastian been certain that Blaine's beau-ideal would be a modern day Cary Grant, Randolph Scott, or Rock Hudson - someone handsome, charming, rich and brilliant enough to keep up with him.  Sure, Blaine might be pity-dating the baby owl underclassman whose screeching ruined the “Candles” duet, but he could easily be lured away by a more dashing leading man.

Sebastian had played that leading man in many of his own performances in plays and choirs, so he easily slipped into that persona to good effect during his first coffee with Blaine at Dalton.  Blaine had been unquestionably riveted by his drop-dead gorgeous looks, by his sexy but understated voice, by his flattering remarks, and most of all, by his smouldering gaze.  The eyesex they’d had was ridiculous, even if it was a bit of cat and mouse - Sebastian’s eyes penetrating, Blaine returning in kind before he glanced away, looking a bit guilty or unsettled.  He would always return to polite and genuinely engaged, however, and Sebastian would serve up another round of sexy.

The truth was, Blaine wasn’t the only one riveted.  Sebastian found himself making an actual effort to stay cool, to stay focused, and to remain in character.  The live show of Blaine Anderson was distracting.   The former Warbler was just far more handsome in person than on video.  His bone structure made Sebastian want to just study it like a sculpture; his creamy skin had Sebastian imagining him naked; and most of all that ass made Sebastian want to just bend him over the closest hard surface.  With some exertion, Sebastian did keep himself on point and leave - and judging by the fascinated look on Blaine’s face, he left him wanting more.  

After that kind of beginning, Sebastian came to the Lima Bean ready to take Blaine to bed after another performance as the matinee-idol.  Instead, he got thrown off his game, letting his guard down further than he had with anyone, ever.  It was actually kind of incredible, how it all snowballed.  One minute he was making that very slight face about those stupid pumpkin sludge things, the next minute he was being teased about his Warbler audition song.  Since when did he let people tease _him_?  Then he found himself complaining about Trent, discussing Warbler strategy, and mentioning what an asshole his dad was.  

None of this was part of his plan to be the epitome of hot, dapper male perfection.  But it didn’t matter, as it turned out - the connection, the chemistry between them was so strong that none of it mattered.  What was remarkable was that Blaine got him to talk without thinking, to laugh without smirking, to relax without orgasm first.  By the time Sebastian looked up from the condiment bar to see those big hazel eyes sparkling at him, he knew that Blaine was going to be the easiest and possibly hottest lay he’d ever have.  No manipulation would even be necessary.   Sebastian had hit the jackpot - he had found a sweet, gorgeous, wealthy gay in the Midwest who actually seemed to admire and genuinely like a cynical player from the Parisian club back rooms, and not just because he was the sexiest beast this side of the Mississippi.

So he’d gone in for the kill as soon as Blaine gave him the opportunity:

 

_“I can’t believe you asked for a shot of courvoisier in your coffee.”_

_Sebastian’s smirk was only a hint of how he felt.  Blaine was now centered in his crosshairs and there was a zero fail probability.  “I forgot how lame this town is. When I lived in Paris, I drank it like it was mother’s milk.”_

_Namechecking Paris usually guaranteed the win, but Sebastian got far more satisfaction than usual from the enthralled look on Blaine’s face as he spluttered out his re ply.  “When you lived- okay. Wow.”_  
_  
“What?”_

_“You’re just so - you know, you’re out there.”_

_Sebastian felt the thrill that he got as he scored in lacrosse.  “And your whole bashful schoolboy thing? Super hot.”_

_Blaine had not looked displeased, but he clearly was bit uncomfortable.  He turned quickly earnest.  “Look. Sebastian. I have a boyfriend.”_

_It was worth a shot: “Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”_

_“No, I mean, I really care about him.”_

_“He doesn’t need to know.”_

_“I just never want to mess my thing up with him, in any way. He’s really great.”_

_“Who’s really great?”  Blaine’s boyfriend appeared as if from nowhere,  wearing a bizarrely repulsive half sweater thing that made him looked like a mutant peacock.  He was taller and less attractive than expected, and less sophisticated than any Dalton student had Sebastian met, even the scholarship ones.  Blaine deserved a service medal for scraping this low in the charity barrel._

  
_  
_ It was a very good sign that Blaine looked uncomfortable all of a sudden.  Either he felt guilty for picturing Sebastian naked for the last few minutes, or this scarily coiffed boy was the crazy-jealous type.  Either option could work in Sebastian’s favor.  He would be able to soothe and massage Blaine’s guilt away, or the public school pipsqueak would shoot himself in the foot with irrational accusations.  

 

 _“You!  We were just talking about you.”  Blaine looked even more uncomfortable - it was fucking adorable._  

_Sebastian put on his best choir boy look, letting his mouth hang open for a moment, as if dismayed that they had been caught eyesexing and otherwise being totally into each other. Hummel looked very suspicious.  It was all just too easy._

_“Sebastian, this is Kurt, my boyfriend, who I was just-”_

_Sebastian gave Blaine the most knowing grin possible, as if he and Blaine had been discussing who Hummel was and exactly how Blaine was going to dump him.  “Got it.”_

_It was laughable, the way Hummel was trying to ice him out, right out of the gate.  He coolly offered his limp hand to shake, but Sebastian wouldn’t engage.  He just was sure to hesitate with mild disgust for a moment._

_“Pleasure.”  Little mini daggers comically shot out of Hummel’s eyes._  
  
_Sebastian glanced up, looking condescending and smug.  After all, Blaine still could not take his eyes off of Sebastian, even with Hummel standing right next to him.  He didn’t even seem to care about what his little boyfriend was saying._  
_  
“And how do we know Sebastian?”_

_Sebastian wanted to mock this awkward ostrich for trying to be regal.  But he just kept his eyes trained on Blaine and switched back into smooth-leading-man mode.  “We met at Dalton. I was dying to meet Blaine. Those Warblers just won’t shut up about him. Didn’t think he could live up to the hype, but as it turns out…”_

_Blaine was ducking his head, eating it up. It was marvelous._

_“Yes, he’s even more impressive in the flesh.”  Hummel possessively hooked his arm in Blaine’s and Sebastian was now imagining a giant LOL graphic above the pale boy’s head.  It was hilarious that this little wannabe thought he could play in the same league as Sebastian._

_“Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?” Sebastian asked gamely, already planning exactly how he was going to get Blaine drunk and cornered at Scandals, and how he was going to get Hummel drunk and cheating on Blaine in the backroom with one of the regulars Sebastian could pay off._

_“Well, we’re rehearsing for the school musical. And then at bedtime we do a rigorous skin regimen over the phone together.” As Hummel said it, Blaine still seemed to barely notice.  He continued to hardly look at Hummel, as he was too busy still being fascinated with Sebastian. Blaine couldn’t even speak much.  It was so clear that he was afraid to say anything for fear that his killer attraction to Sebastian would show.  It was all so delicious._

_Sebastian looked amused.  “And as sexy as that sounds, what do you say we shake things up? I’ll get you guys a couple of fake IDs and we head over to Scandals in West Lima.”_

_Hummel looked a bit alarmed and Sebastian realized just how much of a prude he had just met. He sighed internally because he would have to pivot his plan since there was no way Hummel would be coming out to Scandals._

_On the other hand, Blaine...Blaine was a little surprising.  “Scandals, that’s the gay bar.”  It was such a turn-on that Blaine knew about Scandals.  He really wasn’t quite as innocent as he appeared...which was fantastic._

_Sebastian couldn’t resist the chance to shock Hummel and titillate Blaine a little.  “Last time I was there, I met the man of my dreams on the dance floor.”_

_“That’s so sweet, and are you two still together?”_

_Sebastian could not believe this kid.  Hummel was trying to dismiss Sebastian with his tone even as he lobbed up the ball for Sebastian’s overhead slam.  It was getting a bit pathetic.  “Sadly no, we broke up about twenty minutes after we met.”  The expression Blaine’s face made his week, it was restraining from showing his real reaction so much - probably surprise or fascination.  And he absolutely was trying really hard not to picture Sebastian with his shirt off in a backroom, getting his cock sucked._

_Hummel looked completely judgmental but at a loss, so Sebastian made one last attempt at getting a yes.  Scandals was such an efficient venue for breaking up a couple.  “C'mon, guys, live a little.”_

_H_ _ummel was still at a loss in the face of the current discussion, so Blaine came to his rescue.  “We would love to, Sebastian, thank you for the offer, that’s very nice of you, but that just isn’t our kind of thing.” It struck Sebastian at that moment that he had never in his life met anyone who more strongly personified a Disney prince than Blaine Anderson._

_“Let’s do it.”  Hummel surprised him this time,  he had to actually give him points for that._

_“What?” Blaine’s surprised look confirmed that Hummel was normally a wet rag. Sebastian found it droll to watching the two of them demonstrate how disconnected two human beings could get in the face of imminent dissolution._

_“Yeah! I mean, we have a whole bunch of firsts to start crossing off our lists.” Hummel turned to glare at Sebastian.  “We’re in.”  It was all too droll._

_“Great.” Sebastian said, giving Blaine a gorgeous smile.  He could not wait to get that ass on a dance floor._

_“Great.”  Blaine seemed unconscious that he had even uttered his agreement.  His eyes were dreamy and it made Sebastian’s heart quicken.  What was this Blaine Anderson doing to him?_

_That night, he texted Blaine.  Nothing too incriminating, nothing to get Blaine in too much trouble.  All family-friendly._

 

A car honked somewhere across the parking lot and Sebastian snapped out of his memories.  He got out of the car quickly.  He looked grave as he approached the door, but by the time he had opened it and gotten in the long line, he mostly just looked determined to get his coffee.

“SEB!”

But it wasn’t Nick’s voice.  

Sebastian looked over to see... _Sam?_ Then he saw a curly head whip around.  It was Blaine, looking like an achingly beautiful apparition.   _Fuck._ Blaine looked as surprised as Sebastian felt and for a few moments they both felt like they were slow motion, incapable of thought, with too many emotions to track as the clatter of The Lima Bean dimmed to a dull roar.

One of those emotions was most definitely pain though, and Sebastian saw it in Blaine’s face, even if it was underneath a courageous expression.  Without even consciously thinking about it, Sebastian stepped out of the coffee line slowly and headed toward Blaine.  Something would always make him gravitate towards Blaine Anderson, especially if Blaine was in pain.   

Sam’s face was looking a bit smug as he smiled widely and gave Sebastian a quick hug.  “Hey man!  We ended up...staying an extra day.   Great to see you.  I gotta...I’ll let you two catch up...bye!”  He was off like a shot, threading quickly through the dense line of people in line for their coffee so he would be completely out of sight before Blaine or Sebastian had gotten their bearings.  

Sebastian’s mouth opened slightly as Sam spoke, his mind finally able to focus again as he watched Sam scamper off. It didn’t take more than a moment to put it all together.  Did Blaine put Sam up to this, did Blaine want to get back together?  Sebastian turned back around with dread and irrational hope.  

Blaine now looked uncomfortable, even a bit angry.  So no, Blaine clearly hadn’t planned on this rendezvous with Sam. Still, fuck, this was awkward.  When had he and Blaine ever, ever been awkward?  They had been mad at each other, yes.  But awkward?  Never.  Until now.  Now it didn't feel like there was anyone, hell any _thing_ else in the room, but Sebastian, Blaine and their awkwardness.  They were like in some godawful performance art piece in an acrylic box.  

Dating and breaking up had officially ruined everything and Sebastian hated it.

Blaine stared back at Sebastian for a moment.    He couldn't believe that he was seeing him, after imagining this moment so many times.  And of course, Sebastian Smythe managed TO look gorgeous even when he was so clearly upset.  Blaine couldn't believe that Sam had done this - it was so excruciating.  And it was so disappointing to feel so heartbroken again after all this time.  He wondered if he ever would be completely over this love of his life.  It sounded dramatic even in his head, but it absolutely wasn’t an overstatement.  He would probably never feel for anyone else what he had felt for Sebastian.  What he still felt for Sebastian.  

At their first run-in after their cancelled wedding, Blaine had been relieved when Kurt asked, “Do we hug?”  It hadn’t helped the awkwardness much, but it was a bit of relief to confirm that there were no real hard feelings.

Now Blaine did not want a hug at all.  Okay, he did want to put his arms around Sebastian desperately, or to at least take his hand, kiss his cheek. But he knew he couldn’t.  It wouldn’t do anything except (1) confirm that Blaine was not at all over Sebastian, and (2) make him miss Sebastian even more.  So though he wanted it, he also didn’t want it.  Because it would be the worst possible thing to do.  It would give him away, he might even fall apart and then Sebastian would want to take care of him and they might end up exactly where they were, Sebastian trapped, not knowing what to do with needy, needy Blaine.  God, he hoped Sebastian wouldn’t touch him.  

Sebastian was really hoping Blaine wouldn't touch him.  Blaine was such a hugger.  It just wouldn’t do.   Sebastian did not want to feel Blaine pressed up against him.  It was enough to have to look at him and be reminded of what he couldn’t have again.  If they even stood too close, Sebastian would surely weaken his resolve.  Blaine in his arms again would absolutely lead to him telling Blaine that he loved him, that he always had.  Then Blaine would forgive him and they would end up exactly where they had left things.  Blaine would end up miserably unhappy and probably mistreated again.

“Well, this is awkward,”  Sebastian’s wry half smile  and the frankness of his statement seemed to imply he had said something funny, but his eyes said something else.  There was nothing funny about any of this.  Sebastian felt like he was going to vomit.

Blaine smiled stiffly, not really breathing as he tried to force out a chuckle.  “Hah, yeah.”

There was another awkward pause.  Sebastian had thought if he just cut through the awkward with a forthright remark, it would break the ice and they might feel less uncomfortable.  

_Nope._

Apparently when you cut through awkward you just make twice the awkward.  Sebastian hated  this more than anything he'd ever hated in his entire hater life.  

Blaine struggled on bravely for them.  “It’s...it’s good to see you.”  There was another awkward pause as they both contemplated that lie.  “How are you doing?”  This was absolute agony.  Blaine had now officially decided to maim Sam for this.

The door to the Lima Bean pushed open, and Nick looked around the large room.  He looked pleasantly surprised when he saw the profile of Sam Evans at a table near the door.  “Sam...” he said, with a fond smile.  

Sam had been anxiously playing a game on his phone, but his head popped up.  “Nick!” He smiled and stood up, hugging his friend.  “What’s goin on, man?”

Nick’s smile was sweet - he’d missed Sam’s loving energy.  “Just home to see my parents, meeting Sebastian for coffee…”  he looked around the room again, and this time he spotted the top of Sebastian’s head behind the line of customers.  “Oh, I think I see him.”  He turned back to Sam.  He gestured for Sam to come with him.  “Can I buy you a coffee?  Sebastian will want to see you.”

Sam shook his head vigorously.  “No, we can’t go see Sebastian yet...”  He looked happy.  “He’s with Blaine...they’re getting back together.”

Nick’s eyebrows raised.  “What?”

Sam grinned again.  “I got them together here just a few minutes ago, so we need to give them a little privacy while they make up…”

“Oh my god, really?”  Nick stepped sideways to look through a crack between a few customers.  Then he stepped forward, his eyes narrowed, to see them more closely.  

Sam was still smiling proudly.  “Are they makin’ out yet?”

Nick was crestfallen.  “Sam...I don’t think they’re making up.”

“What?” Sam moved to see what Nick was seeing.

Nick was so disappointed that he had trouble putting his finger on it. But his voice was very certain.  “Look at them...they don’t look happy...look at...at their body language, look at their faces, look...they look like they’re...this isn’t good,” Nick said with certainty, shaking his head and walking towards Sebastian and Blaine.

Sam was silent, his blue eyes anxious as he followed Nick across the room, studying Sebastian and Blaine as they walked.  His two friends were at least two, maybe three feet apart, and Sebastian was shifting his weight slowly, which was not his usual relaxed, confident stance.  He was stooped over, his usually upright dancer’s posture was deflated, and he was running a hand stiffly through his hair.  Blaine’s arms were crossed and he was biting his lip.  His usually energetic posture was hunched over as well, and his eyes kept casting downward.  They both looked stiff and like they were in pain.

Sebastian contemplated Blaine’s question, his green eyes vacant and wandering from Blaine’s beautiful eyes.   _How am I doing?_   _I’m still feeling dead inside half the time. I’m still so sorry for how I treated you. I’m still basically wanting to slit my throat everytime I hear a Katy Perry song._

“I’m ok.  Are you...okay?”  Sebastian’s green eyes were searching.

 _I thought I was until 2 minutes ago._ Blaine pushed that thought away and tried to focus on the present moment.  He looked up at Sebastian’s distressingly beautiful face and tried to connect with him the way they used to.  But as he studied Sebastian’s face more, his heart sank. Sebastian didn’t look like he wanted to connect with him the way they used to.  He looked like he was investigating, making sure Blaine was okay, like a good friend.  

He did not look like he wanted to get back together.  

Blaine felt the ripping of some, maybe all, of the careful stitches he had sewn on his own heart.  He had known this might happen, he really did, even if he hadn’t wanted it.  With herculean effort, he mustered a sincere reply.   His hazel eyes were unspeakably sad, but he managed a half-smile.  “I...yeah, I’m okay.”  

There was yet another awkward pause, and Blaine rallied to fill it.  He didn’t want Sebastian to worry about him. “I...I finally went on that meditation retreat, and I spent my summer in Florence, writing music.“ Sure, he also spent a decent chunk of the summer feeling like his heart was in shards that he couldn’t find half the time, but Sebastian didn’t need to hear that.  Blaine wanted him to know how much stronger he was now.  “I met some people there, but I was alone mostly, and it was good for me.”  

Sebastian did feel some relief in hearing this.  Blaine was getting on to the work he was meant to do.  He did what he should have done last summer, what he would have done if Sebastian hadn’t got in the way.  He didn’t need Sebastian anymore.  He smiled, a bit glassy eyed, even though something fractured inside him.  “That’s great...Blaine.  That sounds...good.”  

Sebastian barely ever called him “Blaine.” It was almost always “B,” “Killer,” or “Babe.” Or “Gorgeous,” “Beautiful...” or something teasing.  But not anymore.   It felt like another puncture wound.  There was so much more to say but Blaine couldn’t bring himself to say any of it.  It hurt too much.  He strained to continue.  “How was...Google?”

Then suddenly Nick was there, his hand on Sebastian’s arm.  “Hey guys,” he said in his friendly way, except that his voice softer than usual.  He gave Blaine a hug, one that lasted a little too long.  His eyes communicated his love and sympathy for his old friend.  “It’s so great to see you...but...I’m sorry…” he looked up at Sebastian with a pointed look.  “We have to take our coffees to go.  I...um...I didn’t see you so I got them and they’re in my car.  I’m...I’m on a tighter timeline than I thought, so yeah, we have to go now.”

Sebastian looked at Blaine, who looked like he wanted to say something.  “Give me a minute,” Sebastian commanded stiffly to Nick.  “I’ll meet you outside.”

Nick hesitated, looking at his friends for a second.  “Sure.”  He reached out to give Blaine’s arm a squeeze.  “Call me whenever...3AM, whatever, kay?”

Blaine’s eyes grew wet and he nodded.  “You, too.”

Sebastian swallowed and collected himself while Nick stepped out of earshot.  He could do this, he’d dealt with difficult situations before.  He could do this.  He took a deep breath and spoke dryly. albeit a little stiffly.  “Well, this was awkward.  So when should we...make another attempt at talking?  When do you think we’ll be able to do it without feeling like we’re going to hurl?”

And with that, the tension was broken a little, at last.  Blaine chuckled weakly, his eyes a bit wet. He’d missed Sebastian’s bluntness.  He wondered when they would be really in sync again.  Or would they ever, in the same way?  Blaine felt his heart sink.  Probably not.   He drew himself straighter.   _But we’ll be better than this.  Time has to heal all wounds, shouldn’t it?_ He answered slowly and honestly.  “I don’t know.  But I think we’ll know, we’ll _want_ to call.”

Sebastian glanced away as he considered this.  His serious green eyes looked beautiful.  “But what if, say, I call you because I'm ready, but _you’re_ not ready?”    

“Then I’ll tell you, and we’ll try again after we’re both ready,” Blaine said kindly.  He loved this rarely seen, earnest side of Sebastian, usually on display when he wanted to do right by Blaine but wasn't sure how. Blaine wanted so much to at least reach out and touch his arm reassuringly, but again he restrained.  At least there was some comfort in getting to help Sebastian with something again, even if it made him miss him even more.

Sebastian nodded, feeling soothed by Blaine’s expertise in all things emotional.  In this moment they almost felt normal.  The old normal.  But then the sadness showed in Blaine’s face again and he knew he had to leave.  “We’ll be talking then, Killer,” he said as he moved away. His eyes locked with Blaine’s because part of him didn’t want to ever stop looking at him.  

Sebastian using his nickname was worse than not him using it. He missed them so much. “Ok,” Blaine said, his eyes looking as stirred as he felt.  “Bye, Bas.  Take care...”

Sebastian nodded at him before he tore his gaze away, his eyes filling with tears as he turned away.  He had dried them by the time he reached the parking lot, though he still felt a little shaky as he approached Nick.  But then his eyes turned fierce.

Nick held up in hand in protest, knowing what Sebastian was going to say.  “I had nothing to do with that.  That was all Sam, I swear.  I just came in and I saw you guys and it looked like it was going bad...”

Sebastian looked at him, eyes narrowed and arms crossed, until he decided he believed Nick’s sincere face.  Nick had never been much good at lying to Sebastian.  He uncrossed his arms and looked around for Nick’s car, muttering in an undertone.  “You should carry a lance and ride a white horse when you do that kind of shit, then.  Where’s your car?  You’re driving me to the lake.”  

Blaine had stood very still, watching Sebastian go.  Melancholy flooded him as he admired, as he had so many times, Sebastian’s beautiful chestnut hair, the graceful curves of his neck, broad shoulders and muscled arms.  He took a few breaths as more emotions seemed to release from his heart.  He had been holding so much back to show Sebastian he was okay, to not fall apart in the middle of the Lima Bean.  But now he felt just how deep the pain was, how utterly heartbroken he was again, and - he didn’t access this too much, but yes, there it was - how angry he was at Sam.  His breath grew shorter and his temperature rose. _How could he have done this?_

As if on cue, Sam appeared, saying something along the lines of, “Hey.  Are you okay?”  Blaine barely heard him in his rising anger.  He had absolutely zero interest in anything his best friend had to say at the moment.  His eyes narrowed as he turned around, furious.  “No, I am NOT okay,” he growled, storming past Sam and out the front door.  

He saw Sebastian and Nick driving off in Nick’s car and he felt another laceration to his heart.  Sebastian didn’t see him.  He was never going to see Blaine the same way again.

Sam was behind him, gritting his teeth.  “I’m sorry, Blaine.  I’m so sorry that went so bad.”  He added encouragingly, “But hey, maybe that was going to happen no matter what, you just had to rip off the band aid, so you can progress to the next, better step…”

Blaine spun around, glowering. “No!  No, we did not need to take that step!  That was a completely unnecessary step!”  His hands gestured violently.  “It was a step backwards, Sam!”

Sam’s eyes grew wider.  “But…”

Blaine’s eyes practically emitted sparks and he gestured angrily.  “No, ‘but,’ Sam!  I can’t believe you don’t get it!  After _all_ that hard work I did this summer, all that work, now it feels like I’m backsliding! You blindsided me!  I wasn’t ready to see him yet!   _We_ weren’t ready, I’ve never seen Sebastian like that before!  I knew that, I think Sebastian knew that, it looks like Nick knew that, everyone else knew that, Sam!”  Blaine was now plainly shouting, but he didn’t even care who heard him.

 Sam wrung his hands, looking apologetic.  “I’m so sorry, but I get it now - you weren’t ready, it was too soon.  I’m so sorry, we should have waited longer…”

Blaine rolled his eyes, looking more frustrated than ever - he wanted to shake Sam. “There is no WE, Sam!  God, no, you don’t get it!  This wasn’t bad timing, it was a _bad idea!_  It was not your place to do this, ever!” His voice shook and he clenched his fist to thump his chest with it.  “It _broke my heart_ all over again to see him!  Don’t you understand?  You can’t mess with people like that!  Did you see Sebastian?!?  He was in so much pain, how could you do this to him after everything you know he’s been through?!?”  Blaine looked disgusted.  “I can’t even look at you right now…” he said heatedly, heading toward his car.

Sam’s eyebrows were raised and his mouth hung open.  He had really screwed up.

...

 

When Sam got back to his house, there was a vaguely familiar Mercedes in front of it, just as a text from Nick had warned him about.  He braced himself as he parked his dad’s truck and got out.  As he had been dreading, Sebastian was on the porch, sprawled on a chair with his hands behind his head, staring out with almost sinister calm. 

“Samuel,” was the cold greeting.

Sebastian was pretty scary like this.  Sam wondered if he was going to get punched, or if he was going to get his legs broken by a Warbler mafia.

“Seb, I’m so, so sorry.”

“I figured you would be,” was the reply.  Sebastian moved his hands from his head and leaned forward in the adirondack chair, intertwining his fingers.  

“I shouldn’t have meddled in your business,” Sam said slumping against a pillar of the porch.  “I just…”  He stopped himself before he said anything else that sounded like an excuse.  “I’m so sorry...I wish...”

Sebastian held a hand up to halt him.  “How is Blaine?” he asked, interrupting.

“He’s so mad at me.  He’s never been this mad at me.  I don’t even know how or if we’re going to drive to UCLA tomorrow anymore, he can’t even look at me.”

Sebastian looked up.  His face was neutral because he wouldn't give Sam a drop of relief, but he found this encouraging. An angry Blaine was better than a heartbroken, hurting one.  “I should hope he’s pissed,” he said darkly.  His expression grew condemning, bordering on threatening.  “That look on his face back there, the one that he had on his face when he broke up with Hummel, that is not just on Hummel and on me now, it’s on you, too.”  

Sam thought Blaine looked worse back at the Lima Bean than when he broke up with Kurt, but he wasn’t going to argue with Sebastian about anything right now.

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed as he sat up straighter to emphasize his point.  “You get that you fucking reopened the wound, right? That look on his face, the one that looked like he was going to retch, the abused puppy eyes?  That was because he probably had been forgetting about me,  but seeing me again reminded him of all the bad shit I’d done and all the ways I turned out not to be a prince that had just been a beast or a frog or whatever fairytale bullshit Disney has indoctrinated him with.  Seeing me again was like a very sharp dagger on his very tender flesh that was JUST starting to heal.  You cut him open this time, Sam.  He wasn’t doing it on the outside, but he wanted to cry.  Hard.  I know, because I fucking did, too.  You brought him miserable pain, unnecessary suffering.  Do you get that?”

With each visual Sebastian drew for him, Sam curled further and further into himself.  He nodded finally in response.

Sebastian was standing up.  “If you pull a stunt like that again, I’ll find you, take you to a dark corner and beat the shit out of you.  With a baseball bat.” 

Then he got into the Mercedes without another word, and drove off.

 

…

 

Blaine took a deep breath, trying to steady himself more.  He needed Sam to understand, but he still couldn't see him face to face - he was still too angry.  But he was starting to cool. 

 _BLAINE: I know that you were trying to help but I need you to talk to me about what will actually help, not just what you think will help._  

_BLAINE: I know I have just started to turn the corner on being more independent when it comes to my relationships, but I need you to trust that I know what I am doing._

_BLAINE: When you do something like that you imply that I can’t handle it myself, and that just makes me feel worse.  Even if I make mistakes, I want them to be my mistakes to make._

_SAM: I understand.  I really get it now.  Again, I’m so, so sorry._  

_BLAINE: I know you are.  I’ll see you in the morning._

 

_…_

 

Sebastian drove from the lake to the Lima Bean early that evening, his clothes and hair still damp from the exertion of his run.  After talking to Sam, he had returned home to host a matinee movie marathon for the Warblers who were still around.  Nick had suggested it - it wasn’t a bad distraction from that bleeding-out feeling that persisted after the morning’s events.  Sebastian mostly was able to stay focused on the action movies they had picked, and when he wasn’t, he hung out with the housekeeper/his former au pair, Teresa, in the kitchen.  Teresa always seemed to know when he was particularly bothered by something, and usually made brownies to help.

Eventually he got cabin fever though, so he kicked out the Warblers after promising to catch up with them later that night.  Most of them needed to go have dinner with their families, anyway.  He told Nick that he would just be going for a run, and that afterwards he would come to Jeff’s house if they promised not to disintegrate into a bunch of Bas-babysitters.

He wondered if Tina was babysitting Blaine, with Sam out of favor.

The Anderson family ate at almost precisely 7:30PM when Mr. Anderson was home, which would be the case on Blaine’s last night home before Christmas.  This guaranteed that Sebastian’s 7:00 caffeine run would involve no encore performance of the morning’s torture extravaganza.  

As he glanced through the front window on the way to the door, he remembered that life really had very few guarantees.  Because through the glass he could see, in just about the middle of the room, the backside of Blaine Anderson.  He knew that hair, Blaine’s post-high school curly hair that Blaine liked pulled during rough sex.  And of course he could pick the lustworthy curves of Blaine’s regrettably perfect ass out blind.  Sebastian felt sick to his stomach again, but it was worse than this morning because Blaine was talking to the nauseatingly hot Tristan Rodanthe.  

_What the fuck?_  Sebastian stared in shock.  Tristan was the guy, up until yesterday morning, that he would have bet money on to be his own rebound fuck. Tristian was a smooth, slightly older guy who they had met over Christmas.  His parents owned The Tavern, the local bar/music venue.  Tristan had hit on Sebastian and extended a veiled threesome invitation that included Blaine as well.  Whether or not they had been actually been propositioned for a three way had been a source of continued, amused debate between Sebastian and Blaine, usually post coitally.  

The sheets were usually twisted up, but tidy Blaine Anderson never cared about being neat after sex. It was always all so satisfactory.  Their skin was glistening, their hair was a delicious mess, their voices gravelly and slower.  Most all, Blaine always looked so fucking happy.  The thought of it made Sebastian ache.  

Worse was the idea of Tristan lying in bed after sex with Blaine.   _What the actual fuck?_ Clearly he had he had been thinking of Blaine all summer in the wrong way.  Blaine wasn’t pining to get back together with Sebastian, he was ready for a rebound fuck.  Wait, no, that didn’t sound like Blaine.  But Blaine was ready to start dating someone else, to find his real soulmate or whatever.  

 

Tristan’s stupid beady blue eyes were looking seductive.  He was definitely looking to be Blaine’s rebound fuck.   _Ugh._  Seeing sexless Hummel with Blaine would probably be better than this.  Ok, probably not, but damn, this still really sucked. Tristan was going to just use Blaine.  Sebastian couldn’t let that happen.  

Sebastian moved to the side of the window so he wouldn’t be seen.  What could he do without being seen?  He glanced around the parking lot of the mini-mall the Lima Bean was in, then strode quickly to the TJ Maxx discount department store.  Shuddering at the retail environment as he walked in, he quickly made his way to the men’s department and yanked the  sweatshirt with the largest hood off the rack.  He looked repelled at the gaudy shade of red and the huge, hideous Redhawk logo on it, but it would make for decent camouflage.  Blaine would never in a million years think that he would ever, ever, wear this.  

In short order he had sprinted back to the Lima Bean and stealthily came in the door. Things had gotten worse.  Blaine was actually sitting down with Tristan the Troll, whose stupidly handsome face really did look like the simpering expression of one of those troll doll. Sebastian wanted to stick a giant pencil up this troll’s ass.

He sat down nearby with his back to them and eavesdropped, relieved to hear that Blaine wasn’t really openly flirting with Tristan.  But Sebastian could only tell so much from listening.  For all he knew, the eyesex could be filthy right now!!!  He rolled his eyes at how egregiously Tristan was hitting on Blaine, though.  It was hard to tell if they had arranged to meet, or if they had just run into each other and Tristan had zeroed in on Blaine like the predatory creep that he was.  

Blaine was asking Tristan about acting in Hollywood.  Sebastian knew this could only lead to Tristan talking about what it’s like to be gay in Hollywood, which would lead to a chat about what it is like to be gay in Ohio.  Tristan then would manage to refer to Scandals both fondly and with with disparaging amusement.  Then they would go to that dive tonight and Tristan would protect Blaine from all the other predatory dillholes, implying that he was not one (which again, he totally was).  Then they would kiss outside Scandals while Blaine was drunk.   _Fucking Fuckerson._

How did Sebastian know all of this was going to happen?  Because it was exactly what he would do.  Tristan’s moves were a skeevier version of Sebastian’s game and Blaine would fall for it in his current vulnerable state.

But before Tristan could pivot the conversation to being LGBT in Hollywood, Blaine mentioned his trepidation about driving around in LA traffic for auditions. This triggered Tristan to go on and on about his new car.  So this guy was not only a douche, but a boring douche.  Actually, a boring, stupid douche because now he was going on to say some bullshit about how Infinitis were  better than BMWs.  Sebastian wanted to take his own BMW 335i and mow down Tristan with it.

“...It scores better in predicted reliability than BMW and Mercedes…”

Sebastian rolled his eyes...this guy could not be more of an idiot.   _Predicted reliability is only important if you’re poor and don't trade your car in every year._

“...it has a better warranty than the BMW 3 series, too.”

 

 _And it has a better chance than a Honda at being mistaken for a Korean rental car._ Sebastian shook his head.  

“I could take you for a drive around the lake, tomorrow.” 

_But it’d be a shitty drive, you creep, because everyone knows that BMWs have tighter handling, better steering, and faster acceleration._

“Oh that’s very nice of you, but I leave for LA tomorrow,” Blaine said politely.  Sebastian was dying to turn around to see if Blaine was wearing his bashful schoolboy look or if he was looking uncomfortable. Probably the former.

“Oh that’s too bad.  I know it sounds kind of lame but I’ve never been so excited to get a car.  It’s just I have to drive so much in LA, so I appreciate a luxury car so much more now.  And Infinitis are just the best - it gets better safety ratings than the Mercedes or BMW.  It’s the first car I’ve bought myself without help from my folks.  It’s funny because I scrimped and saved maybe $2000 for a year and I thought it would take me years to get enough, then I got one great commercial job and it paid for the rest!”

 

Sebastian drummed his fingers, looking annoyed and wanting to groan.  Tristan was laying on the poor-Midwestern-boy-who-pulled-himself-up-by-the-bootstraps-crap pretty thick.  

Blaine asked about what it was like to work in commercials and Sebastian stood up, realizing that as long as he was still making a game plan, he may as well be marginally productive while doing it.

He got his coffee along with supplies from the barista and the condiment bar.  He arched an eyebrow as he surveyed the room from deep inside his hood.  Luck would have it, there was an empty table within range near a group of pre-teen, blonde, ponytailed girls.  

A minute or two later his first spitball hit the side of Tristan’s neck with precision.  He hadn’t done this since he was twelve years old, but it was just as fun as he remembered.  Even more so, because the straws they used for ice blended drinks were nice and wide.  He smirked as he turned swiftly back to face forward.  

“Ow!” Tristan yelped.

“Are you okay?” Blaine asked, looking confused.

“Yeah, just...something hit me,” Tristan said, looking perplexed and still holding his neck.  He looked around on the table and then on the ground, seeing the moist, balled up piece of tissue.  “Ugh, it was a spit ball!  What the…” He turned around in his seat to find the culprit.    
  
Sebastian was making eyes at a pretty redhead at another nearby table, leaning forward to chat with her.    
  
There were some kids within range. “It must have been one of them…” Tristan said, looking a bit surly.  “Where are their parents?”

Blaine wrinkled his nose in sympathy.  “They’re old enough to be out alone, I think.”

A few minutes later, Blaine had gone in the men’s room. “OW!” Tristan yelled even more loudly as he was hit again with a bigger spitwad this time, dripping down his face. Sebastian looked with amusement at the 12 year old girls who were now looking with wide eyes at Tristan.  

Tristan looked furious as he took a few napkins and wet them with his coffee to form a large, hard ball.  Sebastian made a disgusted face and shook his head as he started to stand up..Jesus, this man-child was going to actually retaliate...who aimed a wet ball with coffee at a bunch of Little Bo Peeps?  He started moving toward Tristan, hoping he could stop this dickwad without revealing his identity, but it was too late.   With a glance at the men’s room door, Tristan threw the wet ball hard and struck one of the girls with it.  Sebastian flinched as the girl yelped and whimpered in pain.  Tristan was now sticking his tongue out at the girls.  Jesus, Blaine deserved so much better than this brat.   

Sebastian got another coffee and came back to find Blaine had returned and talk had turned to coffee shops in LA, UCLA versus Cal Arts, and more rhapsodizing about Tristan’s new car.  Sebastian observed with amusement that the 12 year old girls were now making their own spitballs.  “Less water,” he whispered conspiratorially as Tristan droned on about the glove compartment  of his Infiniti. 

Eventually Blaine stood up to get a cake for the Anderson’s dessert that night (finally, an explanation for why he was was there so late).  This was when the girls launched a full barrage of spitballs at Tristan that made Sebastian shake with laughter.

Tristan predictably came over to the girls table.  His normally handsome face looked creepy and ugly as said heatedly, "Okay, you little motherfuckers, if you don't let up or leave, or I'm going to cut off your little ponytails and choke you with them."

Sebastian’s brow furrowed, seeing the girls alternately creeped out and panicked now, some crying.  He had to actually intervene, even if it blew his cover. _Goddamn it, and of course Blaine isn't here to hear this._

As he stood up however, the door opened and in strutted Sue Sylvester.  It wasn’t long before she made dramatically angry face at the sight of her junior Cheerios squad in disarray.  Sebastian casually got up and walked out the door, his heart beat quickening as he turned at the window and watched the Troll get his phony ass handed to him.  Sebastian’s smirk faded however, as he waited for Blaine to come out of the mens room.  But goddamn it, Sue and her troop left the building and Blaine still wasn’t back. _Of course of course of course.  Goddamn it all._

 

…

 

“So I had to go ahead and key ‘ANGER MGMT FAIL’ on the side of his precious Infiniti and slash the tires,” Sebastian finished smugly.  

Rob took a beat too long to reply.  “Mmmm…” he said noncommittally.

Sebastian looked a little unnerved by his roommate’s undecipherable answer.  “There’s a reason why we barely talk on the phone.  Facetime, Marcel Marceau.”

When they were on the video call, Rob smiled patiently.  “Hey.”

Sebastian’s neck craned forward.  “What.”

Rob looked mildly curious.  “What?”

“What, you think I went too far?  It wasn’t even a felony!  Spit it out.” Sebastian demanded.

Rob shrugged and asked calmly, “You do know that Blaine is comforting him right now, right?”

Sebastian deflated like a balloon.  He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling.  “Fuck my life.”  After a moment, however, his head popped back up.  “Not necessarily, though.  He might not have even walked out with him,” he said quickly, his eyes darting to one side as his mind whirred.  “Though they might be meeting at the Tavern later tonight.  I’ll just have to get Nick and Jeff to go talk some sense into Blaine before it’s too late, and while they do that, Meatbox can slip something into The Troll’s drink to make him throw up…”

“Look behind you,” Rob finally interrupted.

“What?” Sebastian’s attention was back to his roommate on the Ipad.

“Look behind you.  That’s the bend that you just went around.”

Sebastian opened his mouth to argue heatedly, just as his father always, always, did...but he was stopped by the earnest look in Rob’s eyes. He looked deflated again.

Rob continued quietly.  “You can tell him that you guys can’t be together, but that means you don’t get to decide who’s good enough for him.  You can't have it both ways..”

Sebastian protested, but not very vehemently.  “But...I’m...I’m his friend, I have to look out for him…”

Rob raised his eyebrows as he asked quietly, “Are you really friends?  Right now, are you?”

Sebastian was finally defeated. He swallowed and said sourly,  “I’ll see you Sunday.”

“See you Sunday,” Rob said with a slight nod and an empathetic look.  “We all miss you out here.  Hurry back, Cowboy.”

 

…

 

“Your mother told me that you and the Anderson boy broke up,” Bill Smythe said, forking the steak in his salad with a quiet sigh.

 

“We were sorry to hear about that,” Sally said in her deliberate, quiet way.  Though her tone was not particularly warm (it never was), Sebastian knew she meant it.  He did, however, have doubts as to whether she really spoke for his father.

Sebastian glanced at her, to avoid looking at his father.  Even then, he was studying the sheen of her blonde hair rather than looking her in the eye.  He reached for his Pellegrino.  “Thanks,” he said quickly.   There was an awkward pause and he found himself wishing his father would go back to trying to badger him out of show choir and into working more for the law firm he’d interned at spring quarter.  

His father took a drink of his scotch.  “Relationships take work,” he said severely,  “especially long distance ones.  When Sally worked for that firm in New York and was travelling so much back when we were first together, we had to make a real effort.  Things don’t just come easily, Sebastian.  You have to work at them.”

Sebastian made a noise resembling agreement and stabbed his steak a little violently.  He wondered once again how Sally the Wonder-Lawyer had put up with his father’s shit for so long.  He wondered where Teresa was.  

Bill had taken another swallow of scotch and was staring with some uncertainty at the top of his son’s head.  The boy’s hair was still the exact color and texture of Adrienne’s.  It was remarkable how much Sebastian looked like his mother.  The fact that Bill’s chest still tightened whenever he thought of his ex-wife, even after all these years, was also remarkable.  “It’s just as well, you don’t need a boyfriend to distract you right now, anyway.  You need to focus on your work, not a dancer all the way in London.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes but kept his head bent down, forking so many pieces of lettuce that they resembled the mattresses from The Princess and The Pea. “It was Edinburgh, and he’s not just a dancer, he’s an actor and a composer and a musician and a singer.  And he’s at UCLA now.”

Bill’s eyes narrowed.  “You’re still hung up on him?  You barely dated him...it was just since Christmas…”

“I’m not hung up.  We…”  Sebastian’s brow furrowed as he tried to boil down the most complicated, vexing thing he’d ever been through into something his emotionally void father could understand.  

Bill was shaking his head.  “Sebastian, don’t moon over something that’s over.  You might have screwed things up, but there’s no use in lingering over it.”

Sebastian spoke without thinking, irritated that he even bothered to try to explain anything to his father. “Why do you always assume I’m the one who screwed things up?”

Bill’s eyebrows lifted and he replied coldly, “I didn’t, when I said ‘you’ might have screwed things up, I meant the plural ‘you’ - you and the Anderson boy.”

His dad couldn’t even remember Blaine’s first fucking name.  Sebastian was so irritated that he felt a flush creep up his face.  He looked up defiantly.  “Of course you’re splitting hairs.  His name is Blaine, by the way.  Anyway, I don’t see how you can give relationship advice when you’ve been with Sally for what, a decade?  But you still won’t marry her.”

Bill set his empty glass down too hard, now clearly angered. “What Sally and I choose to do or not do is not for you to judge, Sebastian Chase.  Apologize to her,” he ordered.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow.  “Did I touch a sore spot, Pops?  How does it feel to be judged?  I’ll stop if you stop...” he said with a challenging smirk.

“APOLOGIZE.”

“You apologize to me first, Dad.  I’m a grown man now, you can show me as much respect as you want back.”

“You’re nowhere near grown,” Bill snapped.  “Now apologize...” he added in a threatening tone.

Sebastian stood up.  “I apologize,” he said pointedly to Sally alone.  Her expression was empathetic, but not overly so, as always.  Would it kill her to be on his side for once?!  “Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll skip dessert and go to Scandals since Dad is so worried about me mooning over my breakup.”

“Sebastian, SIT DOWN!” Bill boomed as Sebastian strode through the great room toward the  cavernous entry hall.  “Get back here, young man!”

Sebastian slammed the front door behind him, wiping a few tears away before he drove to the lake.  The Warblers would have to wait.

 

…

 

A week later, Rob picked up his cell phone on the Saturday night before the first day of classes.  “Hey, Jay.”

“Rob!” Jay’s words came out in an anxious rush.  Thank god you picked up.  Bas took me up to the Castro to help me get over my breakup with Paul but he’s had WAY too much to drink!  I’ve never seen him like this, he got thrown out for fighting in the last club we went to, he took his shirt off when my back was turned and I can’t find it anywhere, he’s grinding with every remotely attractive guy in sight, and he’s being a violent asshole to everyone else!  We had to pay the bartender to keep this disgusting guy from taking him to go screw in a backroom!  He’s scaring Charlie and Pauline...”

Rob’s eyebrows were raised.  “Oh man, you guys really should have made him be the designated driver.  Don’t you remember last Halloween?"

Jay was exasperated.  “I wasn’t friends with you guys last Halloween, remember?! ”  

“Oh.  I never told you about it? Okay whatever, just get him outside, tell him he needs fresh air and that there are cute guys outside, anything…”

“We’re already outside, but I can’t get him to get in the car.  We can't double park too long around here so Pauline keeps having to circle around the block...” Jay said with aggravation, glancing down to the curb at the half naked, violent spectacle that was batting Charlie away. Sebastian’s long legs and arms were flying everywhere.

“Tell Pauline to park, or just take Charlie home.  And don't come even close to arguing with him, he only lets Santana do that.  Go ahead and let him rant at you, but don't let him go into another bar.  I'll find Thomas or Roger and we’ll be there as soon as we can."

“HURRY.”

 

…

 

Thomas looked amused as he, Rob and Roger wrangled a belligerent Sebastian towards the backseat of Roger’s SUV. “I loff the drunk Sebmeister!  Excellent work, Young Jay!”  

Jay rolled his eyes as he climbed into the car.  “I wasn’t trying to get him drunk.  He was trying to do that to me…”

“I wazn’t tryings to do you, Cheekbones!” Sebastian slurred loudly, his face scowling from being physically overpowered by his three friends.  

“That’s not what I said, I said that you were trying to do THAT to me,” Jay clarified.  He was feeling much better now that his bigger, stronger friends had arrived.  “As in, you were trying to get me drunk, to help me get over my breakup.”

“I can do you now!  I can do you, and evrybody!  I’m fuckin Sebaschun Smythe!”  Sebastian was dumped into the car, but he proceeded to launch himself onto Jay, pressing him against the car door as he violently buried his face in Jay’s neck, nipping and sucking at it.

Jay pushed Sebastian’s head up, rolling his eyes. “Get off me, Edward Cullen.”  

Rob was hauling Sebastian’s torso off of Jay as he called out, “Some help, here?” Roger got out of the driver’s seat and helped wrench Sebastian back out of the car.  A chuckling Thomas came around from the passenger side to help hold him while Rob got into the middle seat in the back.  

Sebastian was trying to shrug Thomas and Roger off while Rob dug into his backpack for one of Sebastian's t-shirts he had brought from home.  “Leggo of me, closetted guyz aren’t myz type!”

When they were settled into the car again and driving away, Roger glanced in the rearview mirror and inquired, “You and Paul broke up, Jay?”

“Yes!  No more Doctor Feelsnooze!” Sebastian hollered as he batted off Rob's attempts at getting the shirt on him. “I bet he drivez an Infinitnnyny, too!’

Jay looked mildly amused at Sebastian.  “He wasn’t boring to me...and he’s a medical student, not a doctor.”

“Sorry, man,” Roger said, turning right onto Market Street.

“It’s okay,” Jay said with a small sigh. “It was mutual.  We weren't very serious.  I think I just liked the idea of him…he was really good-on-paper, you know?”

Thomas interjected, “You need better than the paper, Young Jay.  Maybe it is time for you and Herr Smythe to finally have the außergewöhnlicher sex!”

Sebastian slumped forward to pound the console between Roger and Thomas.  “No!  It would be rebound auberwhackaloker sesx!  And I’ll NEVERS be a rebounds again! As god iz my wizniz!”  

“As god is his what?” chuckled Roger as he pulled the car to a stop at a light.  “His slurring is worse than Muller’s accent,” he added, chuckling.

“As god is his witness,” Rob answered, shifting in his seat. “Man, you stink, Scarlett O’Hara,” he muttered to Sebastian.

“I’m not Scarzlett!” Sebastian groused, winding up for another rant. “I’m Rhett and the Troll iz da carpetbaggah!  Hez so trolly that after I keyed his heap he DEFINETTZLY got them drunk and took adsvantage and hiz stupid Troll hands were probably be all over that ASS and then he moaned those MOANS he makes when he’s DRUNK and then dey definitzly went UPSTAIRS where Cooperz not home to look out…”  Sebastian cocked his head as he added in an aside, “Nobodyz ever home I love themz but where are they ?!?”  Then he snapped back into his original train of thought.  “I KNOW there waz a handjob at a MINIMUMS, even if he was imaginun ME. Then there wouldz be THE TALK in the mornin and there wouldz be BLUSHES and they start dating and eventzually they’regunna get MARRIED! _Fuck fuck  fuck  fuck  fuck  fuck!_ ”

There was a pause before Roger, Jay, and Thomas burst into laughter. “I did not catch half of that,” chuckled Roger.

“Who is the Troll?” Jay asked, looking a little worried.  

Thomas conjectured, “The Muppet?”

Jay was shaking his head.  There is no way Sebastian would call Blaine a troll, even while he was drunk.

Rob pressed his mouth into a straight line.  “No, not Blaine, definitely not,” was all he would say.  He patted Sebastian on the back.  “We don't know all that happened, Rhett.”

“It sounds like someone he hates,” Roger said.  “Maybe the new assistant lacrosse coach?  Didn’t he say he is closeted and that he hates him?”

“He does hate the guts of Coach Slade,” Thomas said wisely.  “Because he creeps the freshmen.”

Jay looked concerned as he petted Sebastian’s hair.  Poor Seb.

Thomas was fiddling with the bluetooth music interface on the console.  “You haff the music of a 50 year old,” he scoffed to Roger.  

"I dig some retro," Roger shrugged.

Thomas stopped at a track and looked in the rearview mirror at Sebastian.  “I have a song for you, you must sing, Smirkmeister!  Sing the hate out!”

 _[Listen to “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba on[YouTube](http://bit.ly/2tjFFcv) at <http://bit.ly/2tjFFcv>_   _or on[Spotify ](http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2)at _[_http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2_](http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2) _]_

As the song began, Sebastian shouted, “I HATE THIZ SONG AND I HATE YOU TOMMY!”  He belted a slurred version of the song out with Thomas, anyway.  He was so amusing that the rest of the car ended up joining in, too:

 _[Thomas and Sebastian]_  
_We'll be singing_  
_When we're winning  
_ _We'll be singing_

 _I get knocked down_  
_But I get up again_ _  
You're never gonna keep me down_

_ _

_I get knocked down_  
_But I get up again  
You're never gonna keep me down_  

 _[Sebastian]_  
_Pissing the night away  
_ _Pissing the night away_

 _[Rob]_  
_He drinks a whiskey drink_  
  
_[Roger]_  
_He drinks a vodka drink_

 _[Thomas]  
_ _He drinks a lager drink_

 _[Jay]  
__He drinks a cider drink_  

 _[Rob]_  
_He sings the songs that remind him_  
_Of the good times_  
  
_[Jay]_  
He sings the songs that remind him  
_Of the better times_

 _[Sebastian, thinking of Blaine]_  
_Oh, Danny Boy  
_ _Danny Boy_

 _[All]_  
_I get knocked down_  
_But I get up again  
_ _You're never gonna keep me down_

 _I get knocked down_  
_But I get up again  
_ _You're never gonna keep me down_

 _I get knocked down_  
_But I get up again  
_ _You're never gonna keep me down_

 _I get knocked down_  
_But I get up again  
__You're never gonna keep me down_  

Sebastian’s air saxophone had everyone in stitches, and they moved on to some other hilariously angry/empowering selections by Thomas.  By the time they hit the Golden Gate Bridge Sebastian was leading them in his off-key rendition of “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift.   They would all look back on their college years and remember times like this as some of the best.  Those times when a small crew rallied around one in need, supporting and distracting him/her with singing, laughing and talking: 

 _[Listen to “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift on[YouTube](http://bit.ly/2uN2ZDR) at <http://bit.ly/2uN2ZDR> _ _or on Spotify at_ [ _http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2_ ](http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2) _]_

 _“...But I keep cruising_  
_Can't stop, won't stop moving_  
_It's like I got this music in my mind_  
_Saying it's gonna be alright_

 _Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play_  
_And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate_  
_Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake_  
_I shake it off, I shake it off_

 _Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break_  
_And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake_  
_Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake_  
I shake it off, I shake it off  
  
_...My ex-man brought his new girlfriend_  
_He's like, “oh my God”, but I'm just gonna shake_  
_And to the fella over there with the hella good hair  
__Won't you come on over, baby, we can shake, shake, shake_

Eventually Sebastian ran out of energy and the alcohol didn’t fuel anything more than fatigue.  It was past midnight now, and he slumped onto Rob’s shoulder, not fighting anymore, comforted more than he knew by the presence of his friends.   

Sebastian’s eyes closed to the hum of his friends’ conversations.  The others thought he was asleep, but he hadn’t quite drifted off when a song came up on the shuffle that laid him out flat.  It was barely heard by the other boys in the car, but it cut through Sebastian’s drunken haze like a knife to his chest:  

 _[Listen to “Say Something” by A Great Big World on[YouTube](http://bit.ly/2vo5ZU8) at <http://bit.ly/2vo5ZU8> _ _or on[Spotify ](http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2%20)at _ [ _http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2_ ](http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2) _]_  

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_I'll be the one, if you want me to_  
_Anywhere, I would've followed you_  
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_And I am feeling so small  
_ _It was over my head_

 _I know nothing at all_  
_And I will stumble and fall_  
_I'm still learning to love  
_ _Just starting to crawl_

  
Rob felt a wetness on his shoulder and as they passed a streetlight he glanced down to see tears between Sebastian’s long lashes.  He swallowed and reached over to discreetly wipe a tear off his best friend’s cheek, his other hand reaching to rub Sebastian’s upper arm.

   
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_  
_Anywhere, I would've followed you_  
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_  
_And I will swallow my pride_  
_You're the one that I love  
__And I'm saying goodbye..._  

“We’ve got a ways to go...before you’re...home,” he said in a low, serious voice.  His heart was breaking for his friend but he tried to keep the sorrow from his voice.  “But we'll get you there.  You'll get there.”

 

…

 

Sebastian was significantly less tipsy by the time he saw Marc coming toward him across the quad.  The man was the star quarterback type: ridiculously hard pecs, impressive biceps, probably a six pack, and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of.   Yet there wasn’t a trace of strut in his walk.  Rather, Marc’s stride was moderate and easy, like his smile. As he drew closer, Sebastian took a moment to study the other man’s handsome features.  Good cheekbones, a classical nose, the square jaw of a movie star and intelligent blue eyes that always looked like they were laughing at you.

Marc smiled when he caught sight of Sebastian.  “Sebastian Smythe...” he said affably as he sat down next to Sebastian.  He didn’t sit too close, and he was relaxed in his body language.  He was openly giving Sebastian a casually assessing glance.  Sebastian wondered what he saw.

“Marc Michaels,” Sebastian said casually, sprawling back against the bench in a confident position, making limited eye contact and giving him a cocksure smirk.  “If that is indeed your real name.  The guy I met at the gym had more swagger in his walk.  Get up and come at me again,” he commanded, winking.  Purposeful flirting was like riding a bicycle.  But this time Sebastian didn’t want to know what his purpose was.  He just knew this was going somewhere, and that he needed to push away the uncertainty that was bubbling up.

Marc’s blue eyes twinkled but he didn’t move. “You’re bossier than the guy I met at the gym,“ he said, looking pleased.

  
  
Sebastian shrugged.  “I know what I want,” he lied, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards.   “And I’m hot,” he added, for no particular reason.  Damn, he was out of practice.

Marc chuckled and crossed his muscled arms.  “Thank you for the bulletin.  Yes, you’re hot, for a babyface.  You’re also still a little drunk.  I should take you home, little one.”

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed and he marveled at how comfortable he already felt with this guy.  He pouted adorably. “I’m six foot two, I’m not little in any way.  I haven’t been little since I was thirteen.”  He sat up straighter and chuckled, easing up on his diva impression.   “I don’t need a ride, I live in Roble...but I probably should go home, though.  So much damned homework to do tomorrow, and it’s only week 1…”

Marc looked humorous as he raised his eyebrows as he stood up and encouraged Sebastian to start walking with them.  “Ah, homework...you remind me of your student status.  But I’ve decided that LGBTers are so scarce on campus that I can make an exception to my no-undergrads rule for you.  I just ask that you confirm you are not a freshman.”

Sebastian couldn’t help but chuckle heartily.  “Do I look like a freshman?”

Marc shook his head and smiled back at him, looking more attractive than ever.  “No, but I’ve been wrong about crazier things.”

“All I ask is that you confirm that you haven’t slept with that pig Gary.”

“Ugh no, not that piece of cheese,”  Marc grimaced.

“You sully the good name of cheese,” Sebastian’s eyebrows raised as he smirked.

“He’s a big wheel of shitty Velveeta,” Marc shrugged humorously.

Sebastian burst into a laugh.  “That’s not even cheese.  It’s ‘cheese food product,’ or some such shit.”

“Touche,’ then. Gary's just a piece of crap.” Marc chuckled.  His smile was fairly irresistible.

By the time they had reached Sebastian’s door it felt like they had known each other for quite some time.  It wasn’t like it was with Blaine, but it was pleasant and fun and Sebastian pushed past everything else that threatened to ruin this way forward.  He knew that overthinking this was the worst thing he could do.

Someone was blaring an oldies remix down the hall as Marc and Sebastian went inside his suite for a nightcap.  It wasn’t long before there was plenty of action: 

 _[Listen to “A Little Less Conversation” by Elvis on[YouTube](http://bit.ly/2tvOp3f%20) at [http://bit.ly/2tvOp3f](http://bit.ly/2tvOp3f%20)_ _or on Spotify at_[ _http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2_](http://bit.ly/2sPZaK2) _]_  

 _A little less conversation_  
_A little less conversation, a little more action please_  
_All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me_  
_A little more bite and a little less bark_  
_A little less fight and a little more spark_  
_Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me_  
_Satisfy me baby_  
_Baby close your eyes and listen to the music_  
_Drifting through a summer breeze_  
_It's a groovy night and I can show you how to use it_  
_Come along with me and put your mind at ease_  
_A little less conversation, a little more action please_  
_All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me_  
_A little more bite and a little less bark_  
_A little less fight and a little more spark_  
_Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! Another marathon chapter recounting the weird adjustment post break up that some of us have been through. I am proud of both boys with how they are handling things. If you've never been through this before, know that this is as real as I could make it - it takes time and it can hurt, but you grow from it.
> 
> Please do say hello, let me know what you're enjoying, what you have questions on...what do you think of the brief bit of Marc you got, whose appearance did you enjoy the most - Sam, Rob, Nick, Thomas, etc.? I'm very curious about what you thought about Seblaine in flashback, does that help your fluff-loving hearts since they aren't together at the moment in the main story?
> 
> Or just please say "Hi, I'm reading!" so I know you're out there.
> 
> Thanks for reading and here's hoping the next chapter doesn't take quite as long to birth! I was travelling last month so that was part of delay...but vacation is good to rejuice the spirit...I brainstormed Seblaine a lot of the time anyway, hahah.
> 
> Love you guys. Glad to share this labor of love with you.


	48. Different Emails, Blaine 5.0, California Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel Berry returns to the narrative (in a supporting role) for the first time since Stop the Wedding. There is another New Directions cameo, and Blamtina get a housemate who is of course played by Starkid/Darren’s old roommate Joey Richter.  Blaine also meets a very handsome guy named Diego (played by Ryan Guzman)
> 
> Sebastian spends most of the chapter unconsciously and consciously thinking about giving himself another chance at love.  To aid the plot, we get return appearances by Kenny (Tyree Brown), Victor (Paul Bettany), Jay (Colton Haynes), Rob (Joe Walker and the rest of the Stanford gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Monster thanks to the Beta team for this chapter, Rose, Alyssa, Megan, Ana and Thamey! I'm so grateful for their questions, notes, catches, and support. Love you girls.

 

 

_THAD: Am I the last one to know that Sebastian and Blaine saw each other when we were in Ohio?!_

_TRE_ _NT: What? Where? When? What did they say?_

_NICK: Lol I think you have the answer to your question, Thad._

_TRENT: I can’t believe no one told me either_

_MEATBOX: Hah no one wanted to break your heart, Nixie_

_TRENT: For the last time, I am not in love with Blaine!  Are they getting back together?!?_

_MEATBOX: You couldn’t even split it into two texts XD._

_NICK: They aren’t getting back together. I was there.  It was the afternoon before we were at Jeff’s for Rock Band.  It was painfullllll, they were sooooo awkward. I thought they both were going to projectile vomit_

_JEFF: Whoa, you didn’t say anything about it when we saw you.  Lol I’m impressed_

_NICK: I can keep a secret!_

_MEATBOX: Bullshit lol_

_DAVID: :grimacing:_

_THAD:hahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahaha_

_NICK: I hate all of you :P_

_TRENT: I want to go on the record to say that you do not need to keep things from me about Sebastian and Blaine_

_THAD: I want to go on record to say that I want live reports from each and every one of you of any Sebastian or Blaine activity online or offline, from every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in the continental United States and Paris._

_DAVID: Thank you, Tommy Lee Jones_

_JEFF: What’s that from?_

_DAVID: The Fugitive_

_NICK: The Fugitive_

_THAD: Best movie ever:_

_Kurt - “I didn’t kill Seblaine!”_

_Me - “I don’t care!”_

_DAVID: You think every movie is the best movie ever, hah_

_MEATBOX: Haha Thaddeus, cap’n my cap’n_

_NICK: Nope, Sam Evans is still captain of the Seblaine ship.  Though he could use a co-captain right now._

_TRENT: We should leave them alone.  Whatever will be, will be._

_DAVID: Yeah, though it’s all such a shame. And in Yosemite there was no budging Bas, I can tell you that much_

_JEFF: Haha Doris Day Nixon Warbler, you are the most nosy and meddling one of us EXCEPT when it comes to helping Seblaine get back together_

_TRENT: Not True!_

_WES: Ok, way to blow up my phone, guys, haha.  I’m with the family, back later._

_THAD: No, wait, come back Masterblastaaaa_

_JEFF: WESSSSSSSSSSSS_

_NICK: Trent isn’t wrong for now, we should cool it for awhile.  It’s still pretty raw._

_MEATBOX: Bas definitely was stiff that night, but how bad was it?_

_NICK: Really, really bad.  Bas looked green and Blaine was pale as a ghost.  The way Bas talked about it afterwards, he has no plans to ever reconcile.  He was resigned to that, he was more frustrated that he and Blaine can't even talk normally anymore._

_THAD: So that means he wants to talk to him again!  That’s a good sign.  He could just cut him out, but he isn't.  Awesome._

_DAVID: I hope he’s okay.  I’ll check in with him when I get back._

_THAD: Report back!  And Nick, when you see or talk to Blaine or Sam, give me the scoop_

_MEATBOX: You’re such a cartoon hehe_

_JEFF: He’s the matchmaker from Mulan!_

_DAVID: Gotta run, catch you later brothers_

_MEATBOX: I’m out, too. Adios muchachos_

_THAD: But we haven’t started planning for their Christmas reunion!_

_NICK: Bye guys, Mariana’s here_

_THAD: Wait, really quick, when exactly are you going to see Blaine?_

_TRENT: Give it a rest, Thad_

_JEFF: Aw, he just isn’t givin up on them, T-Nix, leave him alone. :) But I should go too, glee club practice.  Miss you guys!_

_THAD: Do you know if Blainers is doing glee club at UCLA?  Do they have glee club at UCLA?  Maybe he and Bas will run into each other at a competition!_

_THAD: Jeff?_

_THAD: Trent?_

_..._

 

_THAD: Wes?_

 

...

 

“Oh my god, Dad!” Jay protested and laughed at the same time.

“How cute are they?” Karen said, lifting her chin and grinning in the direction of their table. Sebastian thought she was the one who looked cute.  Blaine called her Sebastian’s hag, but Sebastian just thought of her as a steady light

Rob and Sebastian turned from their discussion of Stanford football to look at Jay and his parents, and Sebastian smiled.  He didn’t even know what embarrassing story Jay’s father was telling, but it didn’t really matter. It was enough to watch Jay looking like an adorable little kid while he tried to pummel his father.  It was an idyllic tableau, the happy young man between beaming parents against the carved wall of the restaurant.  There was an open ease between all three of them, a relaxed energy that expanded easily to welcome Karen and Jay’s BFF Pauline as the conversation flowed.  

Jay’s parents were a different sort.  Santana, Blaine, Rob, Meatbox, Jeff, and Nick all had parents who were...parental.  Jay and his parents seemed more like friends.  Maybe it was his being an only child - though if it were that, clearly dysfunction like the Smythes’ could override it.  Perhaps it was that Jay's parents were in human service professions - his handsome, playful father was a community college professor and his graceful, serene mother was an oncology nurse.  

Whatever it was, it helped further explain Jay’s better qualities: his confidence, his sense of humor, the way he always wanted to help people. He certainly was going to need to help Sebastian, who, after Jay’s parents had left to drive back to San Francisco, was feeling done with Pauline.  “Hey, Homer, Marge and Santa’s Little Helper - get over here!” he called out to Rob, Karen and Jay.

“Shhhh...” Rob called from where he stood pointed toward the restaurant’s dartboard, “I’m about to land ‘3 in a bed’ here!”

“In your dreams, Robbie, as if Karen Fierce would let anyone near…”  Sebastian stopped to shudder dramatically.  “Ew, het sex.”  He chuckled as he forked some flan and shared a smile with Karen.

“Don’t get us off course here,” Pauline said, shaking her head with a sigh at Sebastian. She called to Karen and Jay, “You guys, tell Rob that he needs to tell Seb to tell Blaine about Marc!”

Rob, Jay and Karen whooped at Rob’s final score and came the short distance toward them. “Tell who to tell whahah?  What is this telephone game? And who’s Marc?” Rob asked genially.

“Marc...you know, the guy he’s dating!” Jay answered, looking befuddled.  “Wait, that’s his name, right?”

Sebastian squirmed internally.  “Yes.  Marc.  But we’re not dating,” he said offhandedly.

Karen looked up at Rob, “Wait, you don’t know about Marc?”

Rob sat down at the table, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.  “You never tell me anything,” he said with mild annoyance to his roommate. “The MBA guy from the gym?”

Sebastian looked up, unfazed, narrowing his eyes to see the game on TV over Rob’s shoulder.  “There’s nothing to tell.  We’ve been fucking, it’s not a big deal.”

“You’re sleeping together, it’s some kind of deal…” Pauline said, looking troubled.  “Which means you need to tell Blaine about it,” she added with a gentle, urging tone.

Sebastian looked up at his friend with a now irritated expression.  “But it’s nothing! Why do I need to tell Blaine about nothing?  Marc’s fucking other guys...and I’m sure I will too...there are zero strings.  He’s just a warm body, a friends with benefits thing...it’s nothing.”

Jay looked thoughtful. “You don’t _need_ to tell Blaine anything...but...wouldn’t you want to know if Blaine was sleeping with someone else?”

Sebastian looked revulsed.  “No…”

Pauline looked at him with incomprehension.  “You’d just be happy to...like...live in denial?”

Sebastian grimaced at the thought of Tristan.  “I’m not in denial,” he shrugged.  “I _know_ Blaine is sleeping with other people.  But that doesn't mean I want to hear about it.  Why the hell would I want to hear about it?  And why the hell would Blaine want to know about me sleeping with other guys?  He knows...what I was like before we were together.”

Pauline said worriedly, “He still would want know you’re sleeping with someone new now, even if he won’t like it.  It’s better than not knowing what’s going on in that department.  Just call him, as a courtesy. You wouldn’t want him to hear about it from anyone else, would you?”

“Marc and I are _not_ “with” each other, are you deaf?”

There was an awkward moment, as Sebastian took another drink of his Pellegrino and looked irritated.   Pauline sighed, feeling like they were talking in circles now.

Sebastian hated when she looked like that.  He looked at Rob, who had been exchanging looks with Karen.  He muttered in an aside, “Tell her he doesn't need to worry.”

Rob took a beat, then he spoke slowly. “I can see how you might think I might be your best bet here, but I’m with everyone else.” He glanced at Pauline and tilted his head towards Karen and Jay. “I mean yeah, technically you don't owe him anything, but it would be good to tell him about this guy.  It would be…considerate, given how you ended things.”  

Sebastian looked uncomfortable.  He looked to Karen next, who wrinkled her nose sympathetically and let out a little sigh. “Yeah, from Blaine’s perspective, it would be better for him to hear about it from you. If you don’t want to call, you could email him.  Just say that you understand that he probably doesn't want to be communicating right now, but that you have some news to tell him that you didn't want him to hear from anyone else.”  

“How would he hear from someone else? Marc didn’t even tag me in that drunk pic he took of me last night,” Sebastian said, looking at Pauline with a disgruntled expression.  

“Not _that_ Instagram,” Pauline said.  “Rob’s...from like a week ago.  I just saw Marc’s commment on it today, the one he posted of you at the gym, mocking the deuces thing. Marc made it sound like like you were going on a date.”

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed and glanced away as he recalled it, then looked unnerved.   _Shit._  He looked instinctively to Jay with thinly veiled worry. “He probably hasn’t seen it, though.  I unfollowed Sam, he probably unfollowed Rob.”

Jay took a sip from his nearly empty glass and looked doubtful, his blue eyes widening.  “Maybe. But you never know how else he might find out.”  

Sebastian swallowed, trying to remember if he had told David about Marc when they were out at the driving range.

Karen maneuvered from across the high top table to catch his eye.  “Just be very simple and say that you've started seeing Marc and that it’s not at all serious, but that you wanted him to hear about it from you - like Jay said, as a courtesy.  Then just wrap it up and say you hope he's doing well and anything else you want to say.”

Sebastian huffed out a sigh.  "Fuck my life, that sounds like the world's most awkward email.”  He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Fine, I’ll do it this weekend."

Jay shook his head, wondering out loud.  “Seb, if it’s been a week?"

Sebastian looked at him with annoyance.  “What.”

Rob asked quietly, “What do you think he thought when he saw it?”

Jay speculated out loud. “If he’s seen it, it’s probably been a week of wondering…” he grimaced,  “... if there was a second or a third date, if you’re in love with Marc, if you’re with him every night…”  He gritted his teeth.  “If he has seen it, you really should put him out of his misery,” he said empathetically.  “I know it will feel awkward… but if he’s seen it, his mind is going to go places...I know I mine would.”  

Pauline looked relieved.  She knew the others could drive the argument home.   

Sebastian drew both his hands in the air.  “Okay, okay, I’ll write him tonight.  He looked repulsed at the thought.  "Maybe one of you should draft it for me."

Rob didn’t dignify this with a response.  He got up.  “Going for another round of darts,” he said, a little abruptly.

“Subtle, Robbie,” Sebastian said dryly.  He took a deep breath and got up to take his backpack off the back of his chair.  “Fine.  All of you, get out of here, give me the table,” he said darkly, shaking his broad shoulders and pulling his laptop out.  “I’ll get the check.”

It took what felt like ages to finish, but he stuck it out - he had to do right by Blaine.

 

 _To: Blaine Anderson_  
_From: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: October 4, 2014_ _  
_ Subject: FYI

_B,_

_Sorry for writing so soon.  I’d call but I am guessing it would be even more awkward that way. I just thought you should know that I’m sleeping with someone.  It’s a FWB thing so you probably don’t even care to know, but seeing as it’s kind of soon and it’s kind of a regular thing I figured it would be better for you to hear from me instead of  from someone else - Nick and Sam being the weak links always.  I wouldn’t want you to think I was in some epic romance.  It’s just fucking._

_That’s it.  Hope UCLA’s treating you right, I’m sure it’s like the RC, a little weird at first but in no time I’m sure you’ll be their crown prince.  In the meantime, don’t take nothin from nobody, you deserve only the best._

 

_Bas_

 

_P.S. No matter what, I’m here if you need._

 

Before he hit “send,” he stared at the P.S. again, hoping that it didn’t make it sound like he wanted to get back together.  He hoped none of it sounded romantic. He reread it one more time, noticing all the parts where he had wanted to write “I miss you.”

 

…

 

Blaine was thankfully alone when he received the email.  He was at his laptop on his bed, and he swallowed as he stared at it.  

 

Instinctively, he started to reply as soon as he finished reading it.

 _To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: October 4, 2014_ _  
Subject: Re: FYI_

_Dear Sebastian,_

_Thank you for that sweet P.S.  LA is a big, overwhelming city, and it’s nice to remember that if I get caught in the wrong situation that you would helicopter in if need be.  :)_

 

No. Too much.  He didn’t want to seem like a damsel in distress in any way, shape, or form.

 

_~~LA is a big, overwhelming city, and it’s nice to remember that if I get caught in the wrong situation that you would helicopter in if need be.~~ _

_I hope you know I’ll always be here for you, too._

 

Now for the awkward part.

 

_Thank you also for the heads up, that was very thoughtful of you.  I hope that_

 

What the heck did he hope about this?  That Sebastian was having great sex?  Nope.

 

~~_I hope that_ ~~

_I am glad_

 

He was glad that Sebastian had met someone hot and friendly, with loose morals?  No, no, no -  that was cruel.  Sebastian had morals.  For some people sex is just sex. Still, it made Blaine cringe again to think of those words.   _It’s just fucking._   But it wasn’t “just fucking” with him and Sebastian.  Unless it was, sort of?  

 

[ X ](http://crissmiranda.tumblr.com)

 

Blaine shook himself - he wasn’t getting on that ride again.

 

 _ ~~I am glad~~   _ _Haha Nick and Sam aren’t the most close-lipped of our friends, eh?_

 

That had a fine, light touch, he thought with satisfaction.

 

 _As usual, you’re right, things still feel a bit odd at UCLA, but just in that way when things are new. I’m definitely in a better place than I was when I started the RC. Also the theatre students are friendlier than those at the RC, or maybe I’m just reading them differently.  There’s only like 3 other students from the midwest though.  My non-theatre courses are so cool - Classics 10 started with a slideshow from my professor’s trip_  

 

Ugh too much.  Way too much. Blaine felt a pang as he started backspacing through the paragraph he had just written.  This wasn’t who they were anymore...it wasn’t who they were  now, at least.  Sebastian had someone new, or at least someone that might turn into something new, and he might think Blaine was just sadly seeking more connection than Sebastian wanted to offer.  Or if Sebastian wasn’t falling in love, he could be working on putting the last of their romance behind him.  This wouldn’t help with that, either.  

 

~~_As usual, you’re right, things still feel a bit odd at UCLA, but just in that way when things are new. I’m definitely in a better place than I was when I started the RC. Also the theatre students are friendlier than those at the RC, or maybe I’m just reading them differently.  There’s only like 3 other students from the midwest though.  My non-theatre courses are so cool -,  Classics 10 started with a slideshow from my professor’s trip_  ~~

 

_UCLA is going well, lots to get used to, but I like it even better than the RC._

 

Part of Blaine ached for their old intimacy, but he reminded himself that this was only temporary.  They would get back to their affectionate banter, the confidences they shared with no one else... some day.  At least he hoped they would. Blaine felt a pang to his heart but he swallowed bravely, growing determined.  He would make sure that they got back to their old friendship before they had dated, at the very least.  He couldn’t imagine not having Sebastian close to him, in some way, shape, or form.  

 

_I look forward to showing you around sometime, when we’re doing better.  I miss you_

 

Nope.  Not yet.  Too much can be misinterpreted from it, and it wouldn’t be productive to even write it.

 

~~_I miss you_ ~~

  

_You deserve only the best, too.  I hope lacrosse conditioning is not too brutal yet, that classes are interesting and that glee club is off to a great start._

 

_Best,_

_Blaine_

 

After sending the email to Blaine, Sebastian had gone swiftly to a corner to Stanford’s newest library, the art and architecture one that still smelled of fresh paint and new carpet.  Though it was modern and impressive, all of his friends deemed it still too stiffly starched to frequent.  At the end of highest floor he brought his engineering homework and a thick volume of scholarly articles for his art history class.  He put in his earbuds and turned on the classical music playlist that he and Blaine had made together, once upon a time.  

He got to work at once, and of course he didn’t check his email every five minutes.  That would have been pathetic.  

It was more like every four minutes.  

He was highlighting every line in an art history article when he heard an email notification tone at last.  He stared at the message for several moments, his expression growing sardonic.  So it had come to this - they had graduated to awkward emails. He couldn't leave Blaine feeling like that.

 

 _To: Blaine Anderson_  
_From: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: October 4, 2014_ _  
Subject: Re: FYI_

 _Our emails are so awkward that it has forced the return of the_ _~~bashful~~ _ _polite Dalton schoolboy._

 

Blaine was surprised by the immediate reply and stared at it fondly for a few moments. Sebastian had succeeded in relieving the tension again, even in a written exchange. It was nice that he had avoided using the word “bashful,” too.  It felt bittersweet, but it was very considerate of him. Blaine chuckled as he replied.

 

 _To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: October 4, 2014_ _  
Subject: Re: FYI_

_Hahaha, I doubt Dalton would condone my replying to an email about a fuck buddy. :D_

 

Sebastian burst out in a laugh that made a few of his fellow students look at him. He missed the way Blaine could surprise him. But at least missing Blaine was less lacerating than it used to be. Maybe it was because email was indeed less awkward. Sebastian wondered if they could start communicating this way more.

 

 _To: Blaine Anderson_  
_From: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: October 4, 2014_ _  
Subject: Re: FYI_

_I beg to differ. Headmaster Lonergan placed utmost importance on thank you notes in the rules for social deportment, even for awkward situations.  All that time in that public school ruined you, Killer. Stay classy._

 

Blaine could have left it there.  When he looked back on it, that would have been the place to leave it.  But Sebastian had just called him “Killer” again and he was feeling a pleasant rush from the whole exchange. It was fun and he felt like he had nothing to lose.  

 

 _To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: October 4, 2014_ _  
Subject: Re: FYI_

_None of that was classy.  None of it. ;)_

 

Sebastian smirked as he started to type out his reply:

 

 _To: Blaine Anderson_  
_From: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: October 4, 2014_ _  
Subject: Re: FYI_

_Oh baby, all I need is one more chance (To show you that I love you)_

 

He paused to formulate what witty thing to say next. Then he noticed what he had just written.  And that was all it took for his heart to be in his throat again, for the nauseatingly familiar feeling in his stomach to return. _No no no no - no flirting._ Either he would get shut down because Blaine was with someone, or worse yet he would have to shut Blaine down if it went too far.

 

~~_Oh baby, all I need is one more chance (To show you that I love you)_ ~~

_Hah.  I gotta go.  I’m on a run._

~~_Talk soon_ ~~

~~_It’s best we not_ ~~

_Take care._

 

Emails, as it turned out, were not a whole lot better than talking in person.  It was still too soon for anything.  So Sebastian took his books home, told Rob and Karen what had happened while he changed clothes, and flew out the door for a run so his email  to Blaine wouldn’t be quite so much of a lie. When he got home Rob and Karen  were sitting outside in front of the dorm with wine, cheese and pastry. They also managed to actually find an upside to the awkward emails, too - when they had read and reread the emails they both assured him that Blaine was NOT dating the Troll Tristan, who Blaine had had coffee with back in Ohio.

Still, Sebastian looked a little reckless when he walked into Marc’s apartment later that night.  

Marc greeted him with one of his easy smiles and a cold beer.  “What’s up, Legs?”

“I’m topping...” Sebastian said with a smirk.

 

…

 

10 or 15 seconds after Sebastian’s drive-by email, Blaine was still pinching the bridge of his nose. But then his Skype application rang and he could take a deep breath and turn to the pleasant distraction that was a video call from Rachel Berry.

He answered the call and “Hey Rach…” he said, in favor of breaking into a fond smile for his good friend.  “What’s up?”

Rachel looked a little buttoned up, like she did in rehearsals for West Side Story.  “Blaine!” she said, her tone businesslike.  Her brown eyes were appraising.  “Hmmm...it looks like I was right, you _do_ look like you needed a Berry Check In.  Tell me all about it...is it someone in one of your theatre classes?  Or do you have a Cassie July type for a professor?  I hope you told them that you were selected to be the New Rachel, and what that means!  Or wait... are you still not over Sebastian?  He clearly has a life of white collar crime ahead of him, so if he wants to get back together with you the answer is NO, Blaine Anderson.”

Blaine’s brow furrowed a little and he glanced to the side at a mirror.  What exactly made him look like he needed a Berry Check In?  What _was_ a Berry Check In?  But when he looked back and regarded Rachel’s funny, super-serious little face for a moment, he had to chuckle.  He’d missed  her adorable weirdness. “I’m doing fine about Sebastian,” he said reassuringly.  “I’m over the break-up, really.”  It was really only a white lie, since he was really almost completely over Sebastian.  Anyway, he knew better than to try to talk about Bas with Rachel.  Like Kurt, she’d never really forgiven him for the blackmail or for trying to slushy Kurt in high school, even though Finn and Blaine had.  

Blaine understood, even if he didn’t agree.  Rachel was just intensely loyal.  She really couldn’t even help it - she was born with that kind of temperament.  That intense personality, combined with her family circumstances shaped her fervent ambition and kept her hung up on her birth mother issues for a long time.  All of that made her an outcast among her peers, but it also made her one of the most driven, passionate people he knew. It also made her one of the needier people he knew, which was saying a lot, since Trent and Kurt were both off the charts.  This meant that Rachel held on to those who were dear to her very tightly.  Blaine was deeply sympathetic to that, having done the same up until very recently.  If he hadn’t tried to hold such a death grip on Sebastian or Kurt, for example, he might not have lost them the way he did.

He blinked, working to refocus on what Rachel was saying “...you would think that I wouldn’t want the distraction of a lover while still doing eight shows a week but I just couldn’t help falling in love!  I’m sending you a pic of him right now, he’s just the kind of emotionally mature life partner I always dreamed of having at my side!  His name is Pedro, I can’t wait for you to meet him!  He’s a dancer in the ensemble, 26, and look at how tall!”  It did Blaine good to see Rachel’s smiling, if tenuous, face light up, and to feel again like one of her inner circle.  “Kurt is all giggles every time Pedro comes over,” she continued, looking delights.  “Thank goodness he’s over his biphobic stage, I was wondering if he was going to say I am just a pitstop for Pedro, just because Pedro was with a girl, then a guy and then another guy.” 

Blaine winced internally at the memory of Kurt’s biphobia, though he knew that they were all young and foolish in high school.  He turned his attention the more pleasant present as he opened the photo.  “Pedro’s gorgeous,” he said warmly,  “How long have you been dating?”

“Four weeks, we just had our monthaversary.  “It’s the longest Pedro’s been in a relationship since his boyfriend Todd died in a car accident two years ago.  It’s given him such emotional depth, not like that blonde giraffe Jesse St. James was parading around with him at Zabar’s this week, like it was some kind of contest!”

Blaine’s brows lifted and then he looked puzzled.  “Wait, what?  Did I know you’ve been talking to Jesse again?  And why does he think you’re in a contest with him?”

Rachel rolled her eyes.  “I ran into him at NYADA. He’s  decided to become a director and he had some business there.  I was very cool to him.  I’ve been ignoring him on social media, too, since he made a pass at you at your almost-wedding.”  

Blaine wrinkled his nose at that, he’d almost forgotten about that in the tumult of the last year.  “Rach, I really hope you haven’t made him a sworn enemy on account of that.  Didn’t Kurt tell you that Jesse was not the reason we cancelled the wedding?”

Rachel shrugged.  “He did, but that doesn’t make Jesse any less of a snake in the grass for doing it.”

“He was drunk,” Blaine said with bemusement, the whole night a hazy, but not unpleasant memory.  “We’ve all made passes we probably shouldn’t have made, when we were drunk...” he sang softly with a teasing smile, “You were workin’ as a waitress in a cocktail bar…”

Rachel finally exhaled a bit and smiled at him, though she still shook her head.  “Touché.  Fine, I’ll go a little easier on him now that I see you don’t hold a grudge.”  But just a split second later, her fire was rekindled as she recalled her conversation with her ex-boyfriend.  “But it’s not just that.  He’s always trying to drag me down!  He had the nerve to suggest that after Funny Girl is over that I audition for TV roles!  As if I couldn’t get another starring role on Broadway!”

Blaine listened sympathetically.  The recent announcement about the end of the Funny Girl run was definitely a sensitive subject.  The show had been critically lauded but commercially disappointing, so while its run was only slightly shorter than average for Broadway these days, the closing was still a blow to Rachel’s expectations for a longer run.  Though he was sure Jesse was just trying to be helpful by advising Rachel not to put all her eggs in the Broadway basket, he knew that her overreaction was stemmed in anxiety.  He looked concerned.  “So any word since we talked last, about the touring production?”  Sure, he was treading in dangerous waters, but he wanted to support her through her transition.

Rachel’s face tensed.  “No word yet, but I’m sure I’ll be fine either way, I can always go back to NYADA.”

Blaine looked surprised.  When Rachel had quit NYADA during her Funny Girl rehearsals, she had angered Carmen Tibideau in the process. “Carmen Tibideau said you could return?”

Rachel looked intense for a moment.  “Not in so many words,” she said with expediency.  “But I did have a productive meeting with her.  That’s why I was at NYADA, the day I ran into Jesse.”  She clasped her hands so tightly Blaine wondered if she was hurting herself.  “But we’re getting off topic...don’t distract me, Blaine Anderson...” she said with an schoolmarm expression.

Blaine looked confused again.  “What topic?”

“The topic of getting you a new boyfriend!  You are a star Blaine, but you need support in a big city like Los Angeles, so we need to get you, my adorable serial monogamist, a new boyfriend, now that you’ve gotten that rebound Sebastian out of your system.  We just have to…”

Blaine cut in sharply, looking stern.  “He was not a rebound, Rachel.  I loved him, he loved me...maybe not enough, but what we had was real and it was beautiful.  He might not be your cup of tea and it might not have worked out for us, but he was NOT a rebound.”  

Rachel looked a bit taken aback, but she responded with poise, speaking carefully.  “That was a poor choice of words, then.”

Blaine’s expression neutralized and he nodded, letting himself cool down. 

Rachel’s speech accelerated again to a rapid clip.  “But regardless, now that you’ve gotten over him, we have to start sorting through the forest to find you the best tree, since Kurt insists on dating Philip.”

Blaine looked surprised.  “You don’t like Philip?  He sounds great, from what Kurt’s said.  “A great balance for him.”

“He’s not YOU,” Rachel said, shrugging.  “But again, we’re getting off topic.”

 Blaine looked polite.  “Rachel, I don’t think we need that topic.  It’s nice of you to be concerned about me, but…”

She ignored him, looking like she was trying to see around him.  “TINA! SAM!” Rachel hollered so loud Blaine jumped a little.  

“Rachel?” Tina sounded surprised.

“What?!” Sam slurred.

Sam came into the room looking confused.  Sam was rubbing his eyes and his bedhead confirmed he had been napping.  “Rachel?  When did she...how long was I asleep for?”

“She’s not actually here, Goober, she’s on Skype…” Tina laughed as she came in behind him, putting her hand on the back of Blaine’s chair and poking her face towards the laptop.  “Hi, Funny Girl!”

Sam was nodding and blinking.  He sat down on the edge of the bed and waved sleepily. “Hi Rach.”

“Sam, you’ll be sleeping with Blaine going forward,” Rachel replied, looking like the general of an army.

Blaine and Sam  both did double takes. “What?”

“What now?”

Rachel nodded, rolling her eyes.  “Get a bunk bed, a trundle, whatever, if you don’t want to share a bed.  You all need a roommate, I’ve written the advertisement you can put on Craigslist and whatever roommate board UCLA has.  We need to shake up your little trio and open up your Feng Shui.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what Feng Shui is about…” Blaine said doubtfully.

“And we need more hands on deck for Team Blaine.  Plus, Sam I know you aren’t making enough money at that music store you’re working at to pay the Andersons a respectable rent, you don’t want to do that to them, do you?  Also, Blaine was just giving me one of his looks, so I called you in here because I need some back up concerning what we discussed.  He doesn’t look convinced that it’s time for him to find his next boyfriend, to finally find the love he so richly deserves.”

Blaine arched an eyebrow.  “You guys talked about me?  Please, don’t,” he said pointedly.  “And really, I'm okay, Rachel...don't worry about me.  I can manage my own personal life.  I’m actually not interested in finding a boyfriend right now, I’d rather be on my own for a good while...but eventually, I promise, I’m going to get back out there..."

Tina and Rachel exchanged skeptical glances.  

Sam interjected, his arms crossed now.  “You guys need to leave him alone, he’ll do what he needs to do, when he’s ready…”

Blaine gave Sam a grateful look.  “Yes, really, I’m working through it all and I really am okay.  I promise I’m not wallowing or singing ‘ _Hopelessly Devoted To You’_ in the middle of any football fields…”

Rachel smiled warmly at him.  "We know you're okay, you're on the right path of course and you got there all on your own and we're all very impressed.  But we all know how easy it is for any of us to pine over our ex-boyfriends when we aren’t dating someone else.”  The image of Jesse that came to her mind made her bristle a bit.  “So if you aren’t ready for a full fledged boyfriend, fine - date casually, keep things light with whoever we find.  It still counts as being on your own, you can just date for fun, it’s actually the best demonstration of your independence.  You can learn to enjoy a relationship that isn’t filled with so much drama,” she said expeditiously.  “Now Sam, Tina, as I was saying, we need to increase headcount for Team Blaine.  I can do what I can via Skype, but we need more people on the ground."

Blaine’s mouth hung open a bit and he looked exasperated. Did he really seem like he was pining?  He actually wasn’t pining, it’s not like he was pining and hiding it and shocked that they were seeing through him. And what did date casually mean, exactly?  No sex? Date more than one guy at once?  It would be oddly liberating to feel more in control in a relationship...but how could it really count as being alone?  Maybe emotional independence was more a state of mind than whether he had dinner with someone on a regular basis?  Regardless, how did Rachel think this was not getting humiliating?   

"We have enough people on the ground...us people on the ground are fine," Sam was saying, looking offended.

Rachel shook her head emphatically.  "No, you’re not fine.  Tina mothers him too much, and you're...well you've proven your worth with that Lima Bean stunt..."

Tina looked grim and smacked Sam upside the head.  "Yeah!"

“OW!” 

“Smack him for me, too!” called Rachel. 

Sam quickly stood up, but Tina anticipated it and caught his ear with another smack before he tried to hide behind Blaine.  “You’re way too big for that to work,” Blaine laughed.

 Sam stood up straighter and managed to grip Tina’s wrists.  "Aw come on, how long before I stop getting waled on for that! Blaine forgave me!"

Blaine grimaced a little at the memory, but his face softened as he stood up to break up his two best friends. Tina was really quite strong, Sam might get hurt.  "Yes, let's stop bringing it up... take it easy on him, you guys.  He was just panicking.  The break-up was hard on him, too.”  

Rachel shook her head, “Fine, but you’re on notice, Samuel.”  She picked up her Ipad and tapped at it with her stylus.  Now, getting back to business.  Besides finding a new roommate, I want you to start scouring your classes, asking around at your jobs, and Tina - keep an eye out at any auditions you’re going out on.  Be on your toes at the grocery store, yoga class, wherever.  We need to recruit new members of Team Blaine with proven wingman expertise, fantastic listening abilities, and ideally a wide local network to introduce Blaine to as many wonderful romantic interests as possible.”  

Blaine covered his face with his hands and groaned.  “Rachel, this is unnecessary, really…”

Rachel ignored him, perusing her checklist further.  “They also need excellent reporting and time management skills, so they can make the proper assessments and circle back to me in a timely fashion..." 

“Will I do?” A young, slender, blond British man said with amusement from the doorway.  

Tina gave him an apologetic smile.  “Sorry, were you getting lonely out there?”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to tell you I’m have to get going…” the he said amiably, pushing his tortoise glasses up his nose.

Blaine was turned around in his chair with a friendly smile. “Harvey, I didn’t know you were here…I’m sorry, hope we weren’t being too noisy.  But if you have a second, come meet Rachel here on Skype...Rachel, this is Harvey Portsmouth, he and Tina met last year at the campus coffeehouse and they found him a room to rent in our neighborhood.  He comes over to study with us all the time.“

Harvey’s eyes widened as he walked over to the laptop.  He patted his slightly disordered hair and peered into the camera, looking impressed.  “Oh, heyo, it’s nice to meet you...these guys have told me so much about you...And I’ve read about you...I’m devoted to the theater.” 

Rachel looked pleased and like a gracious queen.  “The pleasure’s all mine…you’re from the UK, no?  London?”

Harvey smiled back at her.  “No. Tiny village you’ve never heard of.”

“Well it’s lovely to meet a fan,” Rachel said, angling herself for the webcam a bit. 

Harvey’s face was inscrutable for a second, before he said with amusement, “And it’s always great to meet...the leader of Team Blaine?  Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear.”  He cocked his head as his eyes narrowed a bit.  “Did you say you’re recruiting… matchmakers?”

Rachel nodded and smiled.  “Wingmen and women, and connectors.  Ideally combined in each recruit,” she said with dispatch, looking over her list again.  

Blaine rubbed his temples.  “Still not necessary…”  He  looked up at Harvey.  “Please excuse her, she worries about me too much.  She just thinks I’m not over that breakup I told you about.  But are you sure you won’t stay?  I baked a chocolate chip cookie dough cake and an apple pie.”

Harvey paused for a moment, his face fairly neutral.  Then smiled at Blaine indulgently.  “Sure...I can stay for some of that… ”

Rachel interjected quickly, “Tina, get me his contact information!  I can see even over Skype that he doesn’t buy Blaine’s whole “I’m so over him” act!  We have our first recruit!”  She clapped her hands.

Blaine looked with surprise at the laptop and then back at Harvey, a little irked.  “What?  You don’t believe me?”

Harvey looked surprised, and was speechless.

“Tell him what you think, Harvey...” Rachel said in her forthright way.  “So I’m not the only one not afraid to tell him.  Tina and Sam are too soft on him.  Blaine has too much potential to be stuck in 2nd gear.”

Harvey looked innocent. “I don’t think I know anything...I’m new around here…”

“It’s okay, this is a safe space.  Go ahead…” Rachel said encouragingly.

“Well, now I want to hear, too…” Blaine said, sighing softly.

Harvey spoke slowly at first, but then with increasing speed.  “Well...I could be wrong, but...the baking...and the constant advocacy for ordering take-out instead of going out to eat...and the neverending Minecraft...and your obsession with the number of followers and replies you get to your theatre blog...it’s classic avoidance coping behavior.  Just like most of us binge watch or clean…”

Sam was looking fascinated.  “He does that too!”  Blaine glared at him. 

Harvey bit his lip and continued, “...your behavior could be to avoid being social or dating.  It could be that you’re still in love with your ex, or maybe just that the whole break-up and your past break-ups have scarred you and made you gunshy.”  He clasped his hands together and shrugged again.  “I mean, you promised Tina that you would make an online dating profile a week ago but you still haven’t.  The avoidance behaviour could be to avoid anxious thoughts about being with someone new, fear of failure at dating, or feelings of inadequacy.  I’ve been meaning to ask you...do you have a sibling who overshadowed...” 

Blaine held up a hand to stop him, his eyes closing and his tone resigned.  “Harvey, I really want to continue liking you, so you need to stop before I stab you with my letter opener.”

Tina chuckled and said to Rachel, “Did we mention Harvey is a psychology major?”

“Well done, Harvey!”  Rachel nodded and looked satisfied.

Tina whispered in Blaine’s ear. “The profile is just a baby step, please?  And it will get Rachel off your back.  She just needs a successful project to get her mind off of Funny Girl and Jesse, I think.”   

Blaine looked at her and couldn’t turn down her sweet, pleading face.  He took a deep breath and decided to just dive.  “Fine, fine, fine.  We’ll go out to dinner at the Abbey, the biggest gay spot in town.   And _OkCupid_ will have me in its clutches within the week, for real this time.  I will screenshot it for you, Ms. Berry.  Now I’m hanging up to pick out my first ‘getting back out there outfit.’  Bye, Rach...I hate you and I love you.”

“I love you too, my Tony!”

 

…

 

Sebastian leaned against the back wall of Kairos House, the arts-focused, LGBTQ friendly co-op house at Stanford.  The back patio was teeming with LGBTers but he kept his eyes focused above them, sipping his beer.  He was only at the year’s first LGBT club mixer at Jay’s behest.  Jay and their friend Luis were on the social committee and they needed bodies from the other classes to welcome the freshmen and new graduate students.

 

_“We need bodies, HOT bodies,” Jay had teased, his blue eyes twinkling.  “If you RSVP on the Evite all the guys and bisexual girls will come out!”_

_“So I can RSVP and not show up…” Sebastian replied slyly. “And why would you think that bisexual girls would help you persuade me to come? Ugh.”_

_Jay rolled his eyes before he implored,  “Come on Sebastian, think of all those freshmen, most of whom probably came out not very long ago, with stories as sad as Blaine’s…”_

_“You are shameless.  And you play dirty,” Sebastian said, shaking his head.  It was kind of remarkable that Blaine’s history could be brought up and it didn’t really phase him anymore.  He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not._

_“Come on Seb, please?  Not everyone is an island like you, they need community, they need a reason to come find that community…”_

_“But let’s be clear, this part of the community is not going to speak to them.”_

_“I’ll take what I can get,” Jay said, smiling at Sebastian’s acquiescence.  “Have I told you lately how much I love you?” he added with a charming smile.  “You’re going to stand next to me outside the door, right?”_

_“Fine…” Sebastian said patiently.  It was satisfying to see Jay take on some leadership this year, and he knew his friend did it without expectation of reward or praise.  It was one of the things Sebastian appreciated about him.   “But remember, show choir auditions are tomorrow, you promised when we were in Napa, remember?”_

_“Yes.  Deal.”_

 

Sebastian waved Marc over from a conversation with a cute law student. After most of the attendees had arrived Sebastian left the entrance of patio and spent most of his time with Marc comparing notes on who in the room they had each met last year.  

“That one, and that one, too.” Marc said, pointing as he leaned on the building next to Sebastian.

 

[ x ](http://justjared.com)

“Of course you’ve slept with Pha, and Lavon,”  Sebastian chuckled.  “They are the hottest grad students here.  Actually, I don't think I believe you - I see them fairly regularly at the gym, yet your name never came up,” he said playfully, turning sideway to lean on his side and give Marc a smirk. 

“That you remember…” Marc said with a charming grin.  “And maybe names didn’t even come up with Pha…”

“Quick, what’s my name?” Sebastian said, moving closer quickly to crowd Marc, trying to make the most of the two inches he had on him.

“Andrew Garfield?” Marc quipped, looking roguish.  

Sebastian smirked  back at him and slid a hand down to Marc’s crotch.  “Shut up.”

“NEIN!  Herr Smirk and Herr Schwarzenegger, do not scare off the freshpeople with the PDA! Tsk, tsk.”  Thomas walked briskly by them with a teasing smile, making them both smile and shake their heads.  Thomas had given Marc a stern “shovel talk,” the night before.  Marc had been very polite, and had a good laugh over it with Sebastian in bed.

“He’s such an idiot,” Sebastian said, leaning down and  slipping a hand on Marc’s hip.  He started nipping at Marc’s neck absently.  

“He’s just trying to help the common good,” Marc joked absently, looking over Sebastian’s shoulder.  “How’s it going, by the way, with that one?” 

“What one?” Sebastian said into his skin, slipping an arm around Marc’s waist to pull them closer.

“That one,” Marc said in a matter of fact tone, pointing at Jay across the room.  “How’s it going?” he asked again. His expression was patient and knowing.

“How’s what going?”  Sebastian asked, his eyes narrowed.  

“Getting over him.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows raised. “What?”  He shook his head.  “No, you’ve got it wrong - Jay and I have never been a thing.”

“Really?  Marc sounded surprised.  “Well if you aren’t all over that, I’m gonna be,” he said, chuckling.  “Very pretty...”

Sebastian looked disturbed.  “What?  No. That is wrong on so many levels. You are not good enough for Jay. And what made you think I was with him?”

Marc looked amused again.  “Sorry, I’ve seen you with him at these LGBT things…You two have a...chemistry.”

Sebastian had to smirk at that.  “And you made it seem like you’d never laid eyes on me before you shamelessly cruised me at the gym.”

“It sounded less disturbing than, ‘I’ve been watching you at LGBT mixers but stayed away because you looked like you were pretty much married to the other underclassman with the cheekbones,” Marc laughed.

Sebastian chuckled too, “Hah, that’s what I call him, Mr. Cheekbones.  He hates it.”  He studied Jay, seeing him through Marc’s eyes.  “I would kill for his jawline,” he said faintly.   

They were interrupted again, so it wasn’t until after they were in bed, a bit damp and smelling like sex, that the topic came up again.  Sebastian had his tousled head partially on the side of Marc’s impressive shoulder, partially on the inside of his even more impressive bicep...what Blaine used to call Sebastian’s “nook.”  The memory of it still sent a small emotional surge through him.  Apparently being reminded of Blaine was still hit and miss.  He suspected he was never going to completely get over him.  

He rolled away from Marc and onto his back, sighing internally before he broke their comfortable silence.  “What made  you think I’m getting over Jay, or anyone?”

Marc sat with the question for a moment.  He answered wisely and slowly.  “How drunk you had to get yourself to hook up with me the first time.” He moved over and slipped his arm under Sebastian’s head again, but he didn’t demand eye contact.  “How determined you were that night, too.”  He smoothed Sebastian’s hair. “How you didn’t kiss me on the mouth until we’d slept together three or four times.”  His other hand came around to take Sebastian’s hand put it on his own chest.  “How quick you were to stash away the self-produced CD that slid out from under your driver’s seat.” 

Sebastian could have been defensive, but he’d been nailed so completely and utterly, that it seemed pointless.  And Marc was not being unnervingly sympathetic or nauseatingly accusatory.  He was just stating the facts.  “You’re a creepily observant asshole,” Sebastian said dryly.

“It comes in handy for market research focus groups,” Marc said, looking droll. 

“You really need to cool it with your MBA nerd-talk while we’re in bed.  Total turn off,” Sebastian said, moving his hand to trace down Marc’s six pack. 

Marc smiled and stroked Sebastian’s silky chestnut hair some more.  “So, getting back to the question you never answered...how’s it going,  getting over your break up?” 

“I’m over it...” Sebastian said almost convincingly, feeling tears behind his eyes.  

Marc moved to look Sebastian in the face.  “But you were in love.”

Sebastian felt exposed even though he was already completely naked.  He automatically went on the defensive, which helped keep the tears away.  “Because you know so much about love,” he replied sarcastically, raising his eyebrows and giving him a challenging look. 

“Absolutely,” Marc said, giving him a Cheshire cat grin.  “I’ve been in love, and it broke my heart. And I’d do it again and again.

Sebastian didn’t say anything to him, instead he rolled on top of Marc and looked down at him, one brow arched.  “Well don’t fucking fall in love with me,” he said with a smirk, his hips grinding down with purpose.

 

...

 

When they were sated and listening to the slowing of their breath, moonlight was shining through the window. They both had closed their eyes, but in a minute or two Marc said quietly, “For the record, you’re good enough for Jay.” 

Sebastian’s eyes opened halfway and he stared at nothing in particular. “Go to sleep, Asshole,” he said quietly, rolling Marc over to spoon him.

 

…

 

“WHOofWesterville!” Sam said, who was doing pushups  on the floor behind Blaine, who was sitting at the kitchen table. “‘Cause he loves Dr. Seuss!  He’s a Who of  Westerville!”

"Maybe it’s just me, but I think that could be seen as a Whoof Westerville, which could be seen as having vaguely canine connotations?" Harvey said from where he was sitting behind the coffee table across the way in the living room, where he was doing accounting homework with a cup of tea.

Blaine chuckled. “See, this is why we like having you around Harvey, you ask the tough questions,” he said he scratched the back of his head, searching for a better idea.   

“How about something tried and true, like BowtieBoxerB?” asked Tina from behind her own laptop across from Blaine. 

“That also includes a type of a dog...or a type of underpants,” Harvey observed, reaching across the coffee table for his textbook.  

“Hah, that’s right,” Blaine said, twisting his mouth to one side. He paused for a moment. “You know what, nothing too cute.  I’m done with cute handles.”

“Aw, my cupcake...I mean, my _man,"_ Tina corrected herself, "is growing up.” She scrolled through her Instagram feed and stopped on a post from Elliott.  “How about Starchild, is that too cute?  Kurt’s friend uses that as a stage name and I love it.” 

Blaine wrinkled his nose.  “I like it too, but I can’t use the exact same one, can I?”  His fingers flew on the keyboard. “It’s taken anyway, I wonder if that’s Elliott?  Hmmm...how about something else along those lines...Starkid?”  The keyboard clacked again.  “Nope, taken.”  

“Starbaby?”

“Stargoat!”  Sam was doing crunches now.

“Be serious!” Tina threw a pencil at him.

“Ow! I was!  A kid is what you call a baby goat!”

Tina rolled her eyes.  “Broccolihead is what we called Blaine at prom but that doesn’t mean we’re going to use it as his username!”

“Did you wear a green wig?” Harvey asked, looking mildly intrigued.

Blaine gritted his teeth and covered his eyes with one hand.  “No. It was...forget it...”

Sam was laughing.  “Broccolihead is better than Stargoat…right, Pete? For a username?” he called out to their new housemate, who happened to be passing the living room on the way to his bedroom from the hall bath.  

When Blaine, Tina and Sam had decided that Rachel’s idea of a roommate was a good one, Blaine had thought almost immediately of Pete. Pete had recently become in need of housing, since his roommate that had dropped out of UCLA.  The tall, lanky, freshman had a humorous face when lit up with his smile, so he was an easy sell to Sam and Tina. Blaine wished they saw that smile more often, though - the long haired boy kept mostly to himself in the house.

“No, any kind of animal could imply bestiality.  Broccolihead is the better of two evils…”  Pete said, pausing to look at them with a blank expression before he went into his bedroom and shut the door.

Blaine gritted his teeth and laughed. They must sound like idiots to Pete, who was so quick-witted in their theatre classes. They really weren’t making a good first impression.  “I can’t believe it’s taking this long just to come up with a username. It’s a sign that I shouldn’t be doing this,” he said, arching an eyebrow at Tina.

“No, you are definitely doing this.  How else are you going to meet anyone, since you refuse to date anyone in your program at school and you showed us at the Abbey that you have no game in bars.”

“Why not a classmate?” called Harvey.

“It’s too small of a group.  Too much potential for gossip and drama.”  Blaine said shrewdly.  “How about….” He  drummed his fingers on the table. “OlderWiserBlaine?  I’ve emerged from my romantic mistakes a better person, I like to think.”  He added with a smile, “plus, the Sound of Music reference!”

Sam shook his head. “OlderWiserBlaine makes you sound ancient, dude.”

“Yeah,” Tina said, leaning on one hand.  “But I like the direction you’re going in, you were already awesome, but you’ve matured...but you can’t use ‘mature.’  You’re like a better version of yourself…”

Blaine looked at her and nodded.  She reminded him of something Sebastian used to say about himself at times.  He tried a few iterations into the OkCupid website before one worked.  “Ok, I’ve got it.  Blaine5point0.”

“There have been five versions of you?” Harvey asked with mild interest.

Sam jumped up to perform an impromptu one man show.  He squatted down.  “Blaine 1.0, baby Blaine.”  He took a faux shot to the gut and fell down dramatically.  “Got bullied, went to Dalton (boarding school) to become Blaine 2.0, Dalton Blaine.”  Sam sprang up, doing his best Cary Grant impression and two-stepping around the room, straightening an imaginary tie, singing Train.  “Heyay, heyayayayay, heyayayayay…” Sam pretended to rip off the imaginary Dalton tie and tie an imaginary bowtie. “Then he transferred to my school and became Blaine 3.0!” Sam ran over to Blaine, batting his eyelashes and clasped his hands beneath his chin.  “‘Oh Kurt…” he crooned in a falsetto, swooning.  

Harvey, Tina and even Blaine were laughing loudly when they noticed Pete on his way back to his room, looking patient.  “Educational…” he remarked with amusement.

Blaine bit his lip, still laughing.  “Oh god, he must really think we’re loons.”  Word through the UCLA theatre grapevine was that Pete was from New York, a massive LGBT ally in high school, and was on full scholarship.  He had even already played a small role on Broadway.  Blaine was sure someone as sophisticated as Pete had never had friends as goofy as Blamtina (now Blamharvtina?) were. 

Blaine sighed, more and more sure that they would just be housemates to Pete, and never friends.  He clicked the mouse as he absently narrated, “Set your preferences.  You’re interested in… men who like men, between the ages of… 19 and...28?  Looking for…New friends, short-term dating…”   He paused before clicking the last box.  “Long term dating?”  He looked up, at a loss.  “I don’t know …”

Sam was skipping rope now, so he panted out his answers..  “That...means...you’re not...ready...for… long...term… dating.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Blaine said, wondering what it would be like to really be with someone besides Sebastian.

Tina had stood up when Sam was answering.  She came behind Blaine and leaned to use the touchpad on his computer to click “Continue“ at the bottom of the screen.  “Write your intro…” she announced.  “For example, how would your best friend describe you?”

“Awesome!” Sam panted before he got tangled in his rope for the third time.

“Sweet, debonair, smart, principled…” Tina said, standing up and putting her laptop into her bag and rummaging in it.

Harvey looked a little skeptical and Blaine shook his head.  “Yeah, I don’t think I’m using any of that, I’ll sound too conceited,” he said, looking uncertain.  “Hmmm...Let’s say...extroverted, curious, friendly, musical, romantic, loyal, honest…”  He wondered if he could say what

Sebastian had said about him once, that he was the most kind and loving person he’d ever met.  No, that would be odd to describe yourself that way. “Empathetic,” he continued, “surprising,” that was another way Sebastian had described him.  “And a Buckeyes fan,” he concluded, moving to the next screen before he could overthink it.

His eyebrows raised.  “How long do you want your next relationship to last?  One night, a few months to a year, several years, the rest of my life? What kind of question is that?”

“A good one,” said Harvey calmly as he flipped a page in his novel for his English class.

“The rest of your life,” Tina said pragmatically.  “Even if that is not what you think you want, you should check it to get that kind of match.  If you meet someone fantastic, just tell them you want to take it really slow...”

Sam put down his jump rope, breathing hard.  “There should be something...in between one night...and a few months.”

Blaine looked at a loss again.  He had told Rachel he wanted something casual, but that didn’t mean it had to end quickly...did it?  But he wasn’t sure he could wrap his head around the idea of his next relationship being the one he would have for the rest of his life.  Then he spotted light gray text at the bottom of the screen.  “Skip this question,” he said with relief.  “I’ll think about it.  Okay, next question…’Which word describes you better? Carefree, or intense.’  But I’m both!”

“You have to pick one,” Tina said from behind her laptop. 

“Intense,” Sam said, mopping his brow.  “Dude, hurry up, you said you’d go to the gym with me.”  He lay down on the floor again. 

“But I’m both!” Blaine said.  “I’m definitely both.”

“INTENSE,” Tina, Sam, and Harvey said together.  

Blaine had to chuckle a little at the chorus.  “Fine,” he said clicking.  “Your ideal match: carefree or intense?  Carefree.”  He felt vaguely guilty that.  Sebastian wasn’t really carefree.  He could be sometimes, but...well, maybe this is one reason why they hadn’t worked.  Blaine felt a small stab.  He always thought Sebastian was his ideal type, even if their relationship hadn’t worked out.    

“Do they mean I want someone carefree for this next relationship, or for forever? This is confusing…”  He clicked some more and answered the questions, narrating in broad strokes now.  “Religion questions, politics,”  his mouth curved up a bit thinking of political discussions he used to get into with Sebastian.  “Smoking, race, astrology… 

“‘Would you date someone who was in considerable debt?’  Huh, I would not have thought of that one.  ‘Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?’ No,” he said, feeling a little guilty again.  “Though I think it’s natural.  Just not too much...” He clicked on, now just wanting to finish.  

He chuckled at the next one.  “Which would you rather be? Normal, or weird?’  Weird!”

Sam and Tina looked a little on the fence, but said nothing.

“Do I want my ideal match to be normal or weird?”  He considered this.  “This is such an odd question. Weird in terms of style?  I don’t really care.” Kurt had weird style a lot of the time, and while he didn’t really like it, he liked that it Kurt liked it.  He preferred Sebastian’s sexier, more understated choices, but did that make it ‘normal’?  He thought out loud,  “Or do they mean like weird,  emotionally?  Because no for that kind of weird.  Though I’m not emotionally perfect, who is?  But no?”

“Sure,” Harvey said.  “Is there a question about over-analytical perfectionism?”

Sam and Tina tittered, and Blaine shook his head, laughing at himself, too. 

“Okay, moving on.  Job?  Student. I guess my ideal match would be, too?  I don’t _really_ care, though,” Blaine said, looking at ease.  The next screen wasn’t quite so breezy, though:

 

He swallowed.  Kissing in Paris, of course.  Kissing Sebastian at the top of the Arc de Triomphe, with the Eiffel Tower sparkling just beyond, on their first night in Paris, was the most romantic thing he had ever done.   He smiled fondly just thinking of it, and how full his heart had been.  After a moment, he realized this was probably the first time he had thought of Paris without angst.  It was a bittersweet realization - he was really moving on.  He thought with love about Sebastian’s dear, handsome face and his brilliant mind; his strength and his tenderness; his soothing ways and his sense of fun; the walls he put up and how much he had changed. At least a part of Blaine would probably always be a little bit in love with him, he supposed.  All of him would always love him, period.  But it struck him now that he wasn’t as in love as he had been, anymore.  That was heartbreaking in its own way.  

Pete appeared again, in jacket and shoes, striding through the living room towards the front door.  “Blaine, don’t use Starbaby, either.  See ya guys.”

Blaine blushed, but was glad for the distraction.  

 

…

 

“Remember what we talked about,” Sebastian heard Jay say gently to Kenny amidst the background noise of the the California Baseball Farm Club.  Sebastian’s impatient attempts last year to teach his eleven year old tutoring pupil/mentee how to navigate the batting cages had been a little disastrous, so he had asked Jay a week ago to come out and help Kenny work on his hitting game.  The young boy had been thrilled to have a real Stanford 

That was before Marc had gotten into his head.  

Marc was...he didn’t know what Marc was.  He didn’t understand that Sebastian wasn’t interested in a relationship.  He didn’t understand that their fuck buddy thing was not a pitstop on the way to The One.  Sebastian didn’t want a relationship.  Marc was just a pitstop before his next fuck buddy, if that.  Sebastian didn’t want a relationship, and certainly not with Jay.  That would be just confirming all the rumors that Blaine had to hear last year.  And Jay, well Jay didn’t want him, anyway.  And it didn’t matter, because…Sebastian definitely, absolutely, probably didn’t want a relationship.

Sebastian’s back was turned to Kenny and Jay as he read an email from Victor Connelly, a close friend of his father’s from Dalton.  Victor was an impressive legal mind and a friendly man, but his relatively positive opinion of Bill Smythe of course always gave Sebastian pause.  He wondered if in high school Victor had been like Joey Franco of the Dalton swim team - Hunter Clarington’s little bitch.  

As he considered all this, he barely took in Jay’s words of advice and encouragement to Kenny a few feet over: “Elbows up...bat off your shoulder...keep your eye on the ball, step into the pitch.  Now let that sit with you for a second and then chase me out of your head. I’m leaving and I’m going to shut up.  This is all you and it’s so fun.  Have fun!”  Jay stepped out of the cage.  

Sebastian heard the machine make noises preceding the pitch and he turned to see if Kenny could connect with the ball.  To his alarm, Kenny’s small body stepped forward toward the plate instead of sidestepping into the pitch toward the machine.

“Kenny!” he and Jay called out urgently, in unison.

It was too late, the baseball hit Kenny in the arm and goddamn it, Sebastian knew that hurt pretty badly.  He knew because when he was younger than Kenny he had been hit by a ball himself.

He moved quickly to round the corner towards the door to the cage and saw Jay, who had been just outside the door, rush inside. Jay turned off the pitching machine and bent down toward Kenny, but he didn’t squat as if Kenny was a 7 year old.  He just said, “Hey, man, I’m sorry.  That hurt yeah?”  His voice was gentle, but not pitying.  Unlike Sebastian’s mother, Jay knew how to preserve the young boy’s dignity in a public place, and for that Sebastian was grateful.  His younger self had to wrench himself away in anger and embarrassment, only to run right into his father, who told him to shake it off and get back to the plate.

Kenny nodded, and Sebastian knew there were tears in those big brown eyes from the impact of the ball. He could see that Kenny’s lower lip was trembling and felt a wave of appreciation when Jay nodded and continued kindly, “Yeah I know that hurts bad, I remember the first time that happened to me, I got it on the leg, right here.”  He pointed to his calf.  “It hurt so bad.  There’s a lot of hurt when you get hit, for anyone.  When it happened to me I wanted to let it out, so I cried and you know what? It made my leg hurt less. Isn’t that weird?  I guess it released all the pain.  You don’t have to cry, but if you want to, I’m okay with it and I know Sebastian wouldn’t care, either.”  

Kenny’s tears immediately started to stream, though the young boy didn’t sob.  It actually reminded Sebastian of his own leaking face when he was with Santana after the breakup.  

Jay was continuing in friendly voice, laying a hand on Kenny’s small shoulder, but again, not hugging him - Sebastian knew Kenny would get hugged to pieces by his mother later.  For now Jay was distracting Kenny from the pain, which was what he needed more than affection.  “Every single one of my baseball teammates at Stanford have gotten hit by balls, especially when we were starting out, like you.  You know what’s really sweet, though, about getting hit?”

“What?” said Kenny, wiping his tears furiously.  

Jay wasn’t fussing over the tears, but he wasn’t ignoring them, either.  “Kleenex!” He called to Sebastian first, before continuing.  “I got black and blue bruises ALL over wherever I got hit, it looked so cool, like almost a tattoo.  It wasn’t cool enough to go looking to get hit again, but still, it was really cool.  You will have an _epic_ bruise, definitely, for that,” he said, pointing at where Kenny had gotten hit.

“Yeah?”  Kenny looked excited, and was definitely distracted from the pain.  “Yeah, I don’t think I wanna get hit again, but at least I’ll get an awesome bruise.”

Sebastian had arrived inside the cage with the tissue pack, impressed at how his friend was handling the whole situation.  He knew that Jay was kind and sensitive, but it was all displayed in such sharp relief, along with deft handling skills, today.

Jay nodded and smiled at Kenny.  “Yep, that bruise is gonna be a badass one.”  He went on, looking earnest.  “Now, when I said, ‘step into the pitch,’ did you know what I meant?”

Kenny was using the tissue, but he took a deep breath and looked a little embarrassed.  “No…”

Jay shrugged, “So now you know to ask me, next time.  ‘Cause yeah, no bruise is worth that kind of hurt.”

Sebastian looked impressed again - Jay was managing to teach Kenny something in all of this.  

“Yeah, I don’t wanna get hit,” Kenny said ruefully.

Sebastian looked at him and raised his eyebrows.  “Ice cream time, then?”

“No way!” Kenny said stubbornly.  “I want to hit more!”

“Okay, then!” Jay said with a humorous expression. “Let’s get out of the way, Smythe!” He caught  Sebastian by the arm as they moved swiftly out of the cage, glancing at each other with shared relief and gladness.  When they were outside the cage they stood shoulder to shoulder, both hands holding the netting as they leaned forward to watch.   

“Let’s see it, kiddo, come on, Slugger!” Sebastian called.

“Don’t listen to the Tiger Mom, Kenny!  Ease back in if you need, do what you feel is right! You do you!”

Jay turned to Sebastian, expecting commentary on the  moniker, but he found Sebastian looking a bit vacant.  “Seb?” 

Sebastian shook himself and turned to look at Jay, raising his eyebrows.  “Hmph. That’s a new one. I’m turning into my dad.  He used to call me ‘Slugger…’”

Jay’s eyebrows raised and shook his head, knowing this was a sensitive topic for Sebastian.  Over their many coffees and study dates over the past year he knew almost as much as anyone about Sebastian’s tenuous relationship with his father. He spoke with a shrug, “Every dad who ever had a little leaguer has called them ‘Slugger.’  You’re just acting like any one of them.  There are also about fifty other reasons why you are never, ever, EVER going to become your dad.”   

Sebastian glanced to one side.  Blaine had said he was going to turn into his dad as much during their fight in Paris.  He knew Blaine had just said it in anger the way Sebastian had said a lot of horrible things. Blaine had even apologized for it.  Still, it did him good to hear this  from Jay.  “Yeah,” he said rolling his eyes.  He exhaled, feeling a bit foolish.  To lift their moods again, he pinched Jay at the waist.  “‘You do you?’  You are such a Cheeto,” he said with a smirk and a shake of his handsome head.

Jay was happy that Sebastian was smiling again.  “And calling him ‘kiddo’ wasn’t cheesy?  That has to be in the top ten of Dad cliches!” 

“Shhh…” Then they were silent for a second.  The bat had met the ball and they both whooped with great energy. 

“Nice!” 

“That’s my boy…” Sebastian’s green eyes twinkled at Jay.  “Go get ‘em, Tiger, you can do it, Sonny...”

“Ok, now you’re in grandpa cliche’ territory,” Jay grinned, shaking his head.

Sebastian rattled along, being the rakish comic he was so often in Dalton drama club and with the Warblers: “Do you think I'm made of money? Money doesn't grow on trees? When I was your age I walked uphill in the snow, BOTH WAYS!  Were you raised in a barn? Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!”  He had a merriment in his eyes that Jay had not seen in a long time. 

“Sebastian!” Kenny complained.

“It’s okay to tell him to shut up, Kenny!” Jay called.

Kenny giggled.  “Shut up, Sebastian!”

Sebastian laughed heartily as he grabbed Jay from behind, holding him by both elbows.  “I’m going to shut up JAY!  And remember, a little hard work never hurt anybody!  Don't let the bedbugs bite!”  He tried to hold both of Jay’s arms and put one hand over Jay’s mouth but his friend stomped on his foot and squirmed away.  The scuffle ended there though, as they didn’t want to miss Kenny’s next swing, so they both leaned against the cage, laughing hard.  Then they both stopped, breathless as Kenny’s bat made miraculous contact with the ball AGAIN.  

It was a golden afternoon, but Sebastian thought about it with an ambivalent expression that night as he lay in bed.

 

…

 

Blaine’s hazel eyes looked without enthusiasm through the profiles of men who had replied on OKCupid.  He gritted his teeth at a few, but mostly it just felt like a lackluster group of prospects.  Or maybe that was all in his head?  Maybe they just all seemed to pale in comparison to Sebastian?  He needed to remember this was just for a casual meeting.  

He clicked on the last notification - the picture was very attractive.

 

 **_SELF SUMMARY:_ ** _Making your dreams ring true_

 

Blaine’s brow furrowed.  Did he deliver lottery checks?  Sell engagement rings?

 

 **_What I’m doing with my life:_ ** _Dream analysis blogger, learning to scuba, cooking my way through The Naked Chef_

 **_I’m really good at:_ ** _Connecting you with your subconscious, pop and lock, picking which show to binge next, Diablo 3_

 

He bit his lip.Mixed bag of could-be-interesting and I’m-not-really-sure-of-what-to-make-of-that

 

**_Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food:_ **

_Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, Darkmans, Magyk, Anything by Terry Pratchett, Practical Magic, The Princess Bride duh, anything by Tim Burton, The Twilight Zone, Charmed, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, Game of Thrones, The O.C._

 

Blaine’s eyes narrowed. _The. O.C.?  That seems out of place. The Princess Bride, though.  But diversity is good._

 

 **_Six things I could never do without_ ** _Hair gel, phone, my best earrings, dream catcher, laptop, my dad’s dagger_

 

Blaine paused.  He was just going to let that one go.

 

 **_I spend a lot of time thinking about_ ** _Other people’s dreams_

 **On a typical Friday night I am** on an OKcupie date and then on Grindr hehe.  

 

Blaine’s eyebrows raised. But he told himself that not only Sebastian was oversexed too, but that most of gay culture was.

 

 **_Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?_ ** _More often the first, sometimes the second._

 

Blaine nodded slightly.  That was encouraging.

 

 **_You should message me if:_ ** _You like watersports indoors ;)_

 

Blaine facepalmed and slammed his laptop shut, groaning.  He stood up and packed it into his messenger bag and hurried out of UCLA’s Kerckhoff Hall into the five o’clock sunshine, guzzling coffee.   He turned onto Bruin Walk, the main student thoroughfare, raising his eyebrows at his watch.  He was late for dinner with the girls.  

 _Whump._  He was bumped hard in the arm by a blur whizzing by on one of the countless razor scooters that swarmed UCLA’s campus. “Arghhh!” he shouted as his medium drip’s lid flew off and coffee spilled everywhere.  

“Oh man!” a brunette student was wheeling back to Blaine, looking surprised.  “You okay?”

“Ahhh…” Blaine was still getting his bearings.  “Uh, yeah…”  he looked up to see that the other guy was pretty attractive.  Well, very attractive.  Then again, so was Mr. Watersports. 

“Sorry, I just thought you’d see me and we’d navigate that little opening in the crowd,” Mr. Razor Scooter said, looking at Blaine directly as he put one foot back on his scooter.

“And I thought scooters weren’t allowed on Bruin Walk,” was Blaine’s polite reprimand.

“Yes, but I’m late for my class,” Mr. Razor Scooter replied, flashing a charming smile.  “Why don’t I make it up to you…I’ll buy you coffee...and dinner.  Off campus even.  I have a bachelor party trip this weekend, but next Saturday?”

Blaine looked at him with surprise.  “Wait...you’re asking me out to dinner?”

“I’m asking you out on a date,” Mr. Razor Scooter replied, with a sly smirk.  “My name is Diego, by the way.”

Blaine stared at him.  “Well...I’m going to have to get back to you on that,” he said with the faintest of polite smiles.

 “Okay then...and I have to get going, but...PM me on Twitter.  DiegoMartinLA…” he looked at Blaine expectantly.  “And you are…”

Blaine shook himself slightly.  “Blaine Anderson.”

“Okay, Blaine Anderson,” Diego said.  “Talk soon.  Now watch where you’re going!”  And with that, he was gone.

Blaine was on his phone a second later.  “I just got asked out on a date,” he said immediately, sounding as odd as he felt. 

“That’s good!” Tina said, looking distracted as a cute boy looked at her shyly from across the room. 

“But I haven’t seen his answers to the OKCupid questionnaire,” Blaine argued.  “And he was speeding up  Bruin Walk on a Razor scooter. And he seemed a little full of himself.” 

“And Sebastian was what, Mr. Humble Pie?   And the guy’s a UCLA student, not an axe murderer.”  Tina stood up in the restaurant and waved.  “CEDES!  Where are you anyway? Mercedes just got here.”

“I’m just getting off campus, start without me. Sorry, I got distracted on OKCupid.  Correction, I got grossed out on OKCupid,”  Blaine shuddered.  “This guy put ‘indoor watersports’ in his ‘Message me if…’ section!”

“Ewwww!!!!”  

“I’m joining a monastery, I swear to god...”

“Mamacita!” Tina greeted Mercedes as the two friends hugged.  

“Babygirl!”

“Sam got a chance at an extra shift so he said he’ll hopefully be here by dessert, but Blaine’s about 10 minutes away.  This is him, but he says to start without him,” Tina said, tapping on her phone.

  
“Hi Mercedes!!” Blaine said loudly, smiling widely as he walked faster.

“Howz my White Boy Wonder?  Speakerphone now, let’s get this Ohio party goin’ on now!”  Mercedes commanded with a smile.

Tina put her phone on speaker, placing it on the highboy table they were seated at.  “Blaine just got asked out by an arrogant Bruin on his way here.  Well, I’m guessing he’s hot - arrogant guys usually are.” 

“Arrogant!  What I thought you all were sweetie pies at UCLA.  I come here for my sunshine and rainbows,” Mercedes chided.  “But that was last year.  Blaine Anderson arrives and all the tasty badboys come out, why does this not surprise me?”

Blaine smiled as he made his way down the sidewalk of Westwood Blvd.  “But there are two kinds of arrogant.  There is Sebastian-Smythe-confident-sexy-arrogant, and there is Hunter-Clarington-creepy-messed-up-arrogant.”

“Hunter Clarington was still sexy!” Tina and Mercedes cried in unison.

Blaine laughed.  “Objectively, yes, but if you guys had spent any time with him in person, you would agree with me.  And that’s the problem with the guy I just met!  I don’t know anything about this guy!  He could be hopped up on steroids, too.” 

“Again, he’s a UCLA student, not a serial killer!” Tina said merrily.

“We don’t know that...Hunter was a Dalton boy, he wasn’t supposed to be a serial killer,” Blaine reminded her.

“The Billionaire Boys Club.  Menendez brothers, Andrew Cunanan, high school Hunter Clarington.  Rich boys under pressure.  UCLA boys don’t tend to fall into that mold.  Public school, sunshine and rainbows.” Tina volleyed back.

“Do you think Hunter Clarington is a serial killer yet?” Mercedes chortled.  “If he went to jail and got the death penalty, Blaine could be a rich widower!” She clapped her hands.

Tina giggled, “Nick said Hunter has reformed and is hanging out with the beatbox Warbler at Columbia, you might find him sexy again, Blainers!”

Mercedes laughed. “But if you dated him you’d have to deal with all the New Directions giving you crap about dating yet another Warbler Super Villain!”

“Are they serving to minors? You two sound drunk!” Blaine laughed.  

“I’m drunk on you two,” Mercedes drawled loudly and Tina squeezed her arm, beaming. “Y’all are a breath of fresh air after a day singin’ hooks in the studio with crazy producers, let me tell you!”

Tina was still musing, laugh contagious, “Don’t try to change the subject, Blainey Days, you could be a super couple...Nightbird and Dr. Evil!  Think of the field day Jacob Israel would have!”

“Maybe B should go back to the UCLA serial killer option, at least that guy is out…Tay Tay did the report on Hunter say if he came out of the closet?”

“My options are a serial killer or a guy who wants to pee on me?!?” Blaine said a little too loudly, just as Pete Nelson passed him on Westwood Blvd.  The long haired boy raised his chin at his housemate, giving him a slight smile. Blaine waved back, smiling too but shaking his head at Pete as if to explain.  “Oh my god,” he said to the girls, laughing.  “I really hope Diego doesn’t somehow know Pete.”

 

...

 

Victor’s email had offered a job to Sebastian.  Fenwick and West, his Silicon Valley law firm, had recently begun partnerships with seed accelerators that were incubating start-ups.  Fenwick needed a part time assistant ASAP to support the enterprise.  Someone on his staff had a family medical emergency that now required her to reduce her hours for a few months.  Sebastian would be helping to manage legal workshops for the incubator  startups, and their access to lawyers and other resources.  It was getting him further away from the legal side of tech and the hours were flexible (it even allowed some work from home), so Sebastian accepted it. 

Adjusting to the firm again was easy enough, though he had to deal with a few local law school interns who had annoyed him in the spring.  Worse, there was a new blowhard named Leon in the group who was more irritating than any of the others. He was a phony who acted like a saint whenever Victor or any of the other lawyers, entrepreneurs or other staff were around, but with the interns he mouthed off about any number of topics. Sebastian assumed Leon did his work well enough or he wouldn’t be tolerated, but he avoided the Santa Clara law student when he could, so he wouldn’t get himself fired for  hitting him.

One afternoon, not long after he had begun the new job, Sebastian was at the printer in one of the furthest corners of the office, next to the bullpen of cubicles where the law school interns usually worked.  He groaned inwardly when he heard Leon’s voice jabbering on amidst the group’s chatter.  There was a lot of shuffling as they all gathered their backpacks, water bottles and other gear to leave.  It was early, but Sebastian assumed that like most people in the Bay Area, the interns were hurrying to get home or to a sports bar to watch the baseball game.  If the San Francisco Giants won the  game, they would go to the World Series. Sebastian wished he didn’t have to work and tutor so he might watch as well.

“I feel so guilty, taking time to watch, I should be working on my Tort paper.  This is all killing me.  My cousin Henry says no one at his school works a job on top of classes.”

“He’s at Yale, right?  No one there does,  they don’t have to!”

“Santa Clara students can match up toe to toe with any of those Ivy League assholes,” Leon retorted.

Sebastian chuckled to himself while his copy job whirred.  He was pretty sure that was a questionable statement, at best.

“The law firms won’t know that when they look at our resumes, we all look the same to them,” the intern named Gill said with a slightly resigned tone.  He was black and not quite as heavy set, but Gill reminded Sebastian of Dave Karofsky the night he met him at Scandals.

“ _You_ won’t look the same to them, Rupaul,” Leon said with a rude laugh.  “The minute you walk in the door they’ll know you take it in the ass, even if you tone down your fairy wardrobe.”

Sebastian’s brow furrowed and he could feel himself warming.  He took a beat however, and arched a brow as he walked calmly over, gripping the top of a low cubicle wall near the group. The interns all looked at him, a few with admiring glances.  “Hey Leon, you’re living in your own fairy dream world if you think that’s going to fly around here,” he said in a condescending tone.  “It’s time to take your flabby gut and squat elsewhere, Morceau de Merde.”

Gill looked uncertain but Leon’s brow furrowed as he spoke in anger.  “You have some mouth for a teenage fratboy.  Now _what_ isn’t gonna fly?”

Sebastian shook his head, looking slightly impatient, “The harassment suit you just opened yourself up to, Brainless.”  He looked back at Leon and gave him a saccharine smile.  “It’s time for you to give up on law and start your Ponzi scheme.”

Leon scoffed, “You tryin’ to tell ME to leave, Opie?  Who do you think you are?” he said, laughing cruelly as he pushing a few interns aside to get closer to Sebastian.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him and continued with icy amusement.  “I’m the guy whose coffee you’re going to pour once you get kicked out of Santa Clara.”  He looked over at the other interns and said with mock gratitude, “It’s so convenient when the trash takes himself out.”

Leon rolled his eyes and laughed again.  “Hah, you are dreamin’ Babyface, thinkin’ you can get me fired.” He sneered as he continued.  “And what are you, twelve?”

Sebastian hated it when anyone but Marc called him a babyface, but he didn’t bat an eyelash.  He might be the youngest one at the firm, but no one else had ever made it an issue.  “Aw, you’re adorable when you try to throw shade.  I do hope you’ll go far some day... And stay there.” Sebastian smirked.  It was always like riding a bicycle, when he got to dress down the assholes.  He was feeling more like himself than he had since Paris.

Leon looked sour.  “I know Victor’s your daddy or whatever, but there’s no way Lena or Pablo or anyone else will believe an undergrad over me.  There’s no way you can get me fired,” he said, crossing his arms and smirking. 

“Yes, I can, kiddo.” Sebastian said, shrugging.  He wondered if he could.  He wished he had had the presence of mind to audio record what Leon had said.  He also wished he could just deck the douche bag once and for all.

“NO, you can’t…” Leon taunted back.

“Oh _yes_ he can,” came the heated voice of Victor Connolly, who was leaning against a far doorway.  Sebastian turned to see their normally soft spoken senior partner begin walking towards the group, squaring his broad shoulders and looking threatening as hell.  At six foot three, he topped even Sebastian in height, and his imposing posture at the moment made him that much more impressive.  And kind of hot.

“Victor…I just...” Leon said, clearly a little unnerved.

Victor crossed his arms as he stopped in front of the group of interns, most of whom looked scared. “You really shouldn’t use your entire vocabulary in one sentence," he said acidly to Leon.  He turned to his left and said coolly, “Sebastian, the admin team has gone. Can you call Sabrina and ask her to call security and get Mr. Kinsella an escort to the street?”

Sebastian bit his lip and smirked, throwing a triumphant look at Leon before he opened his contacts app and found the HR director’s phone number.  Before he turned to enter the conference room to make the call, he threw a smug look at Leon.  “Good luck with the barista interviews, Grandpa - and look out for steam burns.”

 

...

 

Victor made sure that Leon was gone and Gill was situated with the HR director before he came by Sebastian’s cubicle, where the younger man had returned to work. “Good looking out,” he said with an approving smile.  

Sebastian looked up, with a more open expression than Victor had probably ever seen.  “Good timing on your part,” he said with a nod.

Victor agreed gravely, “Lucky timing - though for the record, I would have taken your word above his and I think the truth would have come out after enough questioning of all the interns.”  He glanced away, shaking his head.  “It’s a good thing you stepped up, what if one of the clients had heard him?” he added rhetorically.

Sebastian shrugged.  “The clients all know interns are only interns, they would have told you and you would have fired him anyway,” he said.  “But it’s good that it was sooner than later, that asshole is a walking outbreak of noise contamination.  Good riddance.”

“Amen,” Victor said smiling again as he moved to leave.  It was nice to see Sebastian talking more like a real college kid, instead of like a polite professional or a wary teenager convinced Victor was part of an evil plot by Bill Smythe.  “Seriously.  I almost gave him a ‘Bye Felicia,’” said dryly, nodding his head as he left Sebastian.

Sebastian looked up and chuckled - he didn’t expect that kind of slang from gentle Victor.  “Bye, Boss.”

 

…

 

A few hours later, as Victor was hurriedly leaving for the day, he heard noises from the conference room that made him raise his eyebrows with relief.   He looked in the open doorway and saw Sebastian with his arms crossed in front of his laptop, his eyes intense and staring at his keyboard.  Victor let out a sigh of relief because yes, the noise he had heard was the sound of the baseball game.  Of course, why hadn’t he thought of the game being streamed over the internet?  For a tech lawyer, he could still be quite a dinosaur.  

Sebastian had to be tutoring later. Victor now remembered Bill’s son stayed at work on those nights, studying until his pupil was finished with dinner at home.  

He moved to sit down next to Sebastian.  “What’s the score?  I’ve been on a godforsaken conference call.”

“3-3. Bottom of the ninth.” Sebastian said grimly, glancing at him but not moving.  “Travis Ishikawa is up,” he said, shaking his head.

Victor looked surprised.  “I thought he got traded years ago…”

“He was, he flamed out and spent all last year in the minor leagues.  He was with the Pirates earlier this season, but he just got traded back for the playoffs.  Just what we need right now, fucking amateur hour.”

“How many on base?”

“2,” Sebastian said,  “Shhhh….”

They were hushed for a moment as the announcer said, “Travis Ishikawa,” but then immediately after that they heard it, that gratifying crack of the bat followed by the roar of the crowd.  The announcer called out with electrified urgency, “And it’s deep to right [field]! AND THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!!!”  
  
Even through Sebastian’s Macbook speakers the euphoria of the crowd and the players was palpable, the roars of happiness were infectious.  Shouts could be heard through the windows out on the streets and from neighboring buildings as well.  Once Sebastian and Victor recovered from their shock they were grinning from ear to ear too, and clenching their fists, both of them yelling at once in amazement.  Victor put an arm around Sebastian’s shoulders, shaking him and then clapping him on the back, and Sebastian smiled back him, looking like a little boy.  

Victor sat back with a happy sigh.  “Now, _that_ is a great way to end the day.”

 

Sebastian leaned forward on his elbows and smiled back at him.  “I did not see that one coming, damn…”

Victor shook his head, “Neither did I, they haven’t hit a homerun in six games!  It was enough of a miracle that that rookie Panik hit one!”

Sebastian was impressed Victor was tracking - he didn’t know his boss followed baseball that closely.  He turned to lean on just one elbow so he could face the older man more squarely.  “I didn’t know you were a baseball man,” he said, looking a bit serene after the happy win.  
  
“You almost have to be in the Bay, especially lately with the Giants doing so well.  They’re a good organization - my boys in the NL.  The White Sox are my team, though.  But I’ll watch almost any game.” Victor said fondly. He smiled, looking far away for a moment.  “I went with your dad, actually, when we were at Dalton, to a lot of Indians games.”  
  
“Those are _my_ boys,” Sebastian said with a fond smile of his own.  The dim memories of going to an occasional game with his Dad and his dad’s friends, were momentous ones.  He had been a rabid fan at home, collecting cards and poring over newspapers.  He remembered going to Nina, his au pair Teresa, and his mother for help with the bigger words. Live games had been a treat, even if going with his stern father had made him nervous.  His father’s friends were kind though, and he had been able to fly under the radar while the men talked, taking in the whole game day experience.  
  
Victor studied him for a moment, looking pleased.  Then he had an idea.  “Do you want to get some coffee, or even a quick bite?” he asked, his eyes a bit wise.  “My wife is out with her girlfriends tonight and I’d love to talk with someone about what could happen in the Series…”  
  
“Sure,” Sebastian said.  Only Jay, amongst his Stanford friends, was as invested in baseball as he was. But Jay was a fierce Oakland A’s fan, which made their conversations limited at a certain point. He still had time for a quick coffee before he headed to pick up Kenny.  

Sebastian closed his laptop and slid it into this messenger bag.  It was only when they began to walk towards the elevator that he started to feel a little odd - this was the first time he was doing something social with Victor, unless you counted the awkward run-ins at the coffee shop downstairs last spring. One of those was when Blaine visited.

Sebastian’s expression grew neutral as he felt pressure on his heart, which he often did whenever he thought of Blaine - which was still pretty frequently.  He wondered if that would ever go away completely.  

Victor was still beaming from the win.  “It’s lucky for me that you have to tutor tonight and stayed in the office for the game. I was racing to my car thinking that the only way to get a live broadcast was on the radio. While I was packing up I was thinking about asking Audrey to order one for the office, hah.  Thanks for reminding this old dinosaur what’s on the the internet now.”

Sebastian was glad for the distraction.  And the points Victor had gained with him that day made it almost natural for him to tease.  “God, don’t tell me you’re one of those tech executives who don’t know how to program a DVR.”

Victor looked at him with mock scorn. “The emphasis is on _executive._   I delegate technical labor to my daughter,” he said with derision, before breaking into a smile again.

“Now I see why she went all the way to Chicago for college…” smirked Sebastian.  He thought about how Blaine had always wanted him to become more buddy-buddy with Victor.  Someday he would tell Blaine about this little man-date he was embarking on.

Victor and Sebastian were chatting fairly easily about Victor’s family by the time they reached a local quick-bite restaurant, and it grew even more easy to talk when the subject turned to baseball.  “My roommate and the dorm/lacrosse guys go in more for football and the NBA.  Well, except for this German, Thomas, who swears off  most American sports.” Blaine was a college football fanatic. “But he and I obsess about lacrosse almost as much as I follow baseball.  That sport just isn’t covered to the same degree, even in the international press.”

Victor and Sebastian got into intricate detail about why two Midwest baseball diehards like themselves had fallen  for the Giants franchise.  They discussed in detail the team’s strengths, history and ethos and the conversation  showed Sebastian a lot about what kind of man Victor Connolly was.  

Victor’s blue eyes were trained on Sebastian as their conversation about Giants recruiting petered off.  His expression was a little melancholy.  “I sometimes wonder if your grandfather hadn’t been such a stick in the mud about it, if your dad would have stuck with baseball.  I mean, he wasn’t going to go to The Show out of Dalton or anything, but he might have had a great college career at Harvard…”  Then he looked quickly remorseful.  “Sorry, I shouldn’t talk about your grandfather that way.”

“It’s fine, he was an asshole,” Sebastian said faintly, more preoccupied with what Victor had also said. “Dad played baseball?  I thought he only watched.”

Victor was once again dismayed at how little Sebastian knew about his own father’s childhood. His face bore no sign of this, however.  He looked at Sebastian kindly, sipping his root beer and saying casually, “Yes, he loved it.  That’s an understatement, actually...he lived and breathed it.  He was that kid who slept with his pitcher’s mitt under his pillow. No one at Dalton knew but me, and only because I was his roommate,” Victor chuckled.

Sebastian’s eyebrows raised.  His dad had been a sports dork.  And he had played something besides tennis and racquetball?

“He could quote the stats of everyone in the AL, and his freshman year he was the starting pitcher in junior varsity, back when we were winning the league every year.  We were nearly  unbeatable that year...he was the rising star everyone knew would start for varsity when we were upperclassmen. Sophomore year was his happiest year at Dalton, by far.”  He chuckled, “I was warming the bench that year, but I screamed myself hoarse cheering for your Pop and the rest of our team that season.  The local paper even came to see him pitch at the JV league championship against McKinley, even though they never covered junior varsity normally.”  

Victor took another sip of his root beer and he looked nostalgic.  “They came because watching your pop pitch that year was amazing. You know him, he likes control - there, he could have it in spades.  And he made the right calls almost always - he knew the strengths and weaknesses of everyone coming up to the plate.  He used to go to games of our rivals just to watch them, plus he remembered a lot of them from his little league days.  He threw a curve when he knew they couldn’t hit far enough, and so we could get another man going off base.  This was the ultimate one on one, him against the hitter, the best man wins.  It was a perfect season.”

Sebastian was clearly caught up in the story, and Victor wished more than anything at that moment that he could give the boy a fairytale ending.

He bit his lip for a few seconds.  “But our junior year, the varsity team was struggling when we joined them.  Your pop was still pitching great, but he wasn’t playing good enough to carry the team. There were some missed cues - the coach pulled him too quick in one game, people in the outfield were making errors for routine plays.  Normally junior pitchers warmed the bench, so it was a lot of pressure for him. That kind of discouragement, after a year like we had our sophomore year, it was really tough on your dad.  We were only 16 - he and I fought more that year than we did our whole time at Dalton. It was also our toughest academic year.  He started to slip towards the end.  It was a 500 season, and at the end of it he walked away from the game.”

Sebastian looked somber as he said faintly, “He didn’t come back for your senior year…”  He couldn’t imagine not playing his senior year, that was the year you worked your little league, your high school career for.  Of course Sebastian wasn’t one to talk, he left baseball behind when he moved to Paris, as he did most things that he associated with his father.  There weren’t good teams, if any, in Paris anyway.

Victor looked him keenly.  “He was really hard on himself about it, I think the season just broke his heart and he...maybe he didn’t think he was good enough for the game.”  He sipped his drink again and looked away, choosing his words carefully.  “It was a tough lesson learned.  But I was glad that he didn’t do it again - when I saw him heartbroken again - way worse - he didn’t lose his faith again.  Eventually, he went back for more.”

Sebastian digested the statement, realizing that Victor was talking about his mother and his almost-stepmother Sally.  He was talking about love.  His dad hadn’t given up on love.  He thought about how Marc would be glad to hear about this, but then it dawned on him that the whole conversation with Victor could be an annoying-as-fuck Bill Smythe trick.  His eyes narrowed.  “My dad told you that Blaine and I broke up, huh?” he glanced sideways and let out a bitter laugh.  “As if he could…”

Victor interrupted, looked genuinely confused.  “What?” It took him a second to orient himself to where Sebastian was.  “No...actually, no.  But I’m sorry to hear that.”

Sebastian looked back at him, studying him for a trace of disingenuity.  But Victor’s eyes only looked like Rob’s when there was a mix up. “Oh.  Uh, it's...fine,” he lied.  

Victor looked at the boy’s awkward expression and his heart went out to him but he knew better than to pry.   “We don’t have to talk about it,” he said simply, avoiding Sebastian’s eyes in order to give him a moment to reset.  Then he reached down to his briefcase to give him a  moment more.  “It couldn’t have been more heartbreaking than what our boys are going to do the Royals,” he said casually.  “How soon do you have to get to tutoring?  We haven’t even touched on the Series.” 

Sebastian was relieved not to be pinned into an uncomfortable and possibly painful conversation.  “I have another 30 minutes before I should go,” he said.  “Well, maybe twenty.  I was late last time and my 11 year old boss gave me more shit than you would think possible from a kid that little.”

Victor smiled.  “Makes you think twice about loitering too long around here, eh?”  

“I’m not going to make the same mistake twice.”  

Sebastian’s words hung in the air, taking on more significance than he intended. Victor took in the odd look on Sebastian's face but didn't say anything, beginning to talk instead about the World Series.   

 

**…**

 

Blaine looked in the mirror.  He looked alright.  Excellent...he looked alright.  He had a half hour before he had to leave for his first date since his break up with Sebastian, and he was doing alright.  He felt like a Comeback Kid, complete with the soundtrack he had selected for himself after he had slipped his new jeans  on.  He was dancing to it as he did his hair in front of the mirror above his dresser:

 

_[Listen to “Express Yourself” by Charles Wright on YouTube at http://bit.ly/2iZDutW]_

 

Blaine’s hips swayed at the opening riff and he picked up a  wide-toothed comb, poising it above his hair as he channeled Danny Zuko for the first time since he played the greaser in Scotland. 

He gave his curls a last nudge and put down his comb, smiling at his own silliness.  He looked up for one last satisfactory peep in the glass as the music swelled slightly and he launched into a strut towards his closet, his lips curving into a smile.

 

 _Express yourself_ _  
_ _Express yourself_

 

Blaine pulled his shirt from the dry cleaning hanger and pulled it on, his head and hips still swaying to the music.

 

_Express yourself_

_Express yourself_  
_Express yourself_

He buttoned his shirt quickly, stepping to the side to the mirrored closet door to smile at his own reflection.  He looked neatly put together, he loved the new clothes he had bought for the occasion, a hipster bowtie in a black and red pattern and a casual, but not-too-colorful shirt, blazer and jeans to match. He couldn’t help starting to sing along:

 

_Express yourself_

_You don't ever need help from nobody else_  
_All you got to do now_ _  
Express yourself_

 

Blaine bent down, reaching for his shoes and chuckling at all the times he had bent _over_ instead, to tease Sebastian.  Those days seemed distant, but he wasn’t unhappy recalling them, and the thought gave him a peaceful feeling.  He knew in his heart he would wink and banter with Sebastian again.  

 

 _Whatever you do, do it good_  
_Whatever you do, do it good_  
_Alright_

  
_  
_ Tucking one shoe under his arm, Blaine remembered Mr. and Mrs. Smith and did his best Brad Pitt impersonation, using his other shoe as a gun as he rapidly backed up and launched himself to land on the bed.

 

 _It's not what you look like_  
_When you're doin' what you're doin'_  
_It's what you're doin'_  
_When you're doin'_  
_What you look like you're doin'_

_Express yourself_

 

Blaine heard a chuckle and looked up to see Pete looking in on him from the doorway, with laughing eyes.  “You’re like your own little movie montage,” his housemate said.  “Time to update your reel,” he said in a tone that was either condescending or teasing.  Blaine laughed with him and shook his head.  Pete laughing at him was probably something he would have to get used to.  

 

...

 

“You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs….But I look around me and I see it isn't so.  Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs. And what's wrong with that? I'd like to know, 'cause here I go again…”

A group of alumni at the Stanford Pride Reunion  sang around the Steinway of the student union Oak Lounge, merrily ignorant of the effect of their harmonies. Sebastian suddenly wanted Blaine to come home to him, on this Homecoming Weekend.  Those old Warbler YouTube videos were to blame, this time the one at the health inspection violation that was Breadsticks.  All of Blaine’s performances were going to haunt him for the rest of his days.  

Sebastian sighed.  It had been a long week - lacrosse conditioning was brutal, and so was balancing the new job with being a tutor, glee club co-captain, and a double major.  He sipped his Pellegrino, wishing he dared to use his fake ID at an Alumni Association event.

Jay heard the sigh and saved him, tugging on his arm and saying that they should get on the road. Thomas’s new girlfriend, who went to Santa Clara University, had secured a big beach house in Santa Cruz for what could be the last Indian summer weekend of the year.  The Roble dorm crowd was going out, though some, like Sebastian and Jay,  had to wait until they could get away from Friday night Homecoming events.  Now that he finished the networking meet-ups he had arranged with the LGBT, Glee Club, lacrosse and Stanford business  school alumni, Sebastian was free to join the others.

The inevitable party would be going hard by the time they arrived, but given his current mood Sebastian was just looking forward to crashing at the luxury beach house rental he had secured for Jay, Rob, Karen, David and himself.  When he had booked it he had chuckled to himself, thinking Blaine would beam triumphantly at him for not reserving a five star hotel.  Sebastian would have to tell him later that there were no hotels that posh in the small beach town of Santa Cruz.  He would take a luxury rental with over a four star hotel, any day.

 

Rob, who had been busy with band events, ended up driving his tired roommate’s car while Jay slept in the backseat.  He and Sebastian sat in comfortable silence until Sebastian decided to check emails.  Sebastian scowled and muttered as he put his phone away. “Blaine’s dating again, he sent an email.  I’m leaving it, I’ll reply after he goes to sleep, to avoid one of your awkward email exchanges.  I don’t know why I ever listen to you guys about anything...”

Rob wondered if Blaine was dating one person exclusively, and could only imagine what his roommate was wondering.  Wanting to redirect Sebastian’s train of thought, he changed the music, finding the album he knew Sebastian had uploaded into his library from Rob’s CD copy.

Sebastian’s thoughts did drift to the song Rob played, because it carried vivid memories with it.  The whole album did - Rob had first played it on repeat last year, when they made this same drive to Santa Cruz soon after they had first moved in together.  This song had played as the sparkling ocean had come into view.  Sebastian felt some peace seep into him, the peace that he found fairly quickly with Rob, and with the Pacific Ocean.  The entire West Coast was a well needed fresh start, after all the drama of Ohio and Paris. With Blaine in LA en route to Scotland, the lyrics resonated too, and tonight they held a similar significance:

 _[Listen to “I Wonder” by Chris Isaak on our YouTube Playlist at:_ [ _http://bit.ly/2jsd3NM_ ](http://bit.ly/2jsd3NM) _]_

 _When I was younger I believed that dreams came true_  
_Now I wonder_  
_Cause' I've seen much more dark skies than blue_  
_Now I wonder_

 _I keep on praying for a blue sky_  
_I keep on searching through the rain_  
_I keep on thinking of the good times_  
_Will they ever come again_  
  
_Now I wonder_  
_Now I wonder_  

 _I keep on praying for a blue sky_  
_I keep on searching through the rain_  
_I keep on thinking of the good times_ _  
Will they ever come again_

_Now I wonder  
Oh I wonder _

_When I was younger I believed that I could win_  
_Now I wonder_  
_There was a time when you and I walked hand in hand_  
_Now I wonder_

 _I keep on searching for the old me_  
_I keep on thinking I can change_  
_I keep on hoping for a new day  
_ _Will I ever feel the same_

 _Now I wonder_  
_Oh I wonder  
_ _Now I wonder_

 

After the song was over, Rob looked over with his usual placid expression.  “Marc couldn’t make it?” 

Sebastian had almost forgotten about Marc.  “No,” he said quietly.  “Undergraduate beach parties are not his scene.  He’s up in the Castro tonight.”  At that very moment, Marc was probably getting a blow job in a backroom somewhere in the Castro. Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck at the thought. He stared out the window for a minute or two before he took a wary look in the rearview mirror. “Marc thinks I should date Jay,” he said bluntly.

Rob, too, glanced in the rearview mirror to make sure Jay was still asleep.  “And you?”

Sebastian furrowed his brow.  “I don’t really think of him like that…” he glanced in the rearview mirror again.  Jay looked beautiful when he slept - his was a face anyone could love.  “I don’t know…” he muttered. 

Rob didn’t look over, but his voice was soothing.  “Marc doesn’t know that much about you though, right?”  He took a few beats, changing lanes and wondering if he should ask what he was wondering.  He glanced over and saw that Sebastian’s expression was unguarded, so he moved forward - carefully.  “You don’t sound sold on the idea...is it that you’ve changed your mind, and you think you want to get back with Blaine?”  He could practically hear Karen and Sam jumping for joy somewhere. He refused to be a cheerleader for a reconciliation, though.  As much as he had been a fan of what he had seen of Sebastian and Blaine’s relationship, he didn’t really know what happened.  Reconciling had to be Sebastian's decision. 

Sebastian shook his head immediately.  “No, definitely not.  It’s more…”  he glanced at Jay again.  “I don’t know that I want to be in a relationship again.  And even if I did, I don’t know if it’d be unfair to Jay, assuming he’d even be interested.  He wouldn’t want to be a rebound. _I_ wouldn’t want him to be a rebound.” 

Rob detected a note of wistfulness, but when he looked over, Sebastian just looked slightly confused.  He asked in his matter of fact way, “What do you mean by rebound?  Like, what do you not want to happen?”

Sebastian scratched his head and rubbed the back of his neck.  “I don’t want him to feel used or like he was wasting his time, ‘cause I’m...not able to…”  He frowned  at his muddled thoughts.  “I don’t want him to feel like just a warm body, or a…” Blaine’s own words came back to him and he flinched at them.  “A crutch because I’m not...because I’m coming off my thing with Blaine. Blaine was coming off of his engagement when I...we moved too fast, and look what happened there.”

Rob listened quietly and took a beat to consider this. “I don’t know...my definition of a rebound is someone you don’t care much about...if I had to peg anyone as a rebound, it’d be Marc.”

Sebastian had to chuckle. “If I’m using Marc, he’s using me right back, so it's a wash. “

Rob smiled, his brow crinkling a bit with bemusement. "Then that is the happiest rebound I've ever heard of.  But regardless of semantics…” he glanced back to make sure Jay was still sleeping, “Let’s put it this way.  Tell me, what do you think of the leadership stuff Jay’s doing for QSR [Queer Student Resources] this year?”

Sebastian looked puzzled at the line of questioning.  “I think it’s...good.  He’s a natural, you should have seen him connecting people at the event tonight.”

“And what do you think of his art?”

“It’s impressive…” Sebastian said slowly, looking suspicious.  “What’s with the interrogation?”

Rob shrugged again and said simply, “I’m just thinking you should consider how much you like Jay outside of how he might comfort you or turn you on.  If you decide there’s enough there, then that’ll be your answer.”

Sebastian looked at him with mild annoyance. “You are useless.  Why don’t you ever just tell me what to do,” he said, a fond smile turning up one corner of his mouth in spite of himself.

Rob chuckled.  “Because telling you what to do usually earns a guy’s head on a platter.”  There was a brief pause and he grew more sober. “But I will tell you one thing: you weren’t just a warm body or a crutch to Blaine.”

Sebastian sat with that, his face serious as he stared at a freeway sign.  “Yeah, I guess not.” He was probably 90% sure of that.

Rob continued  in his matter of fact way, “And I’ll tell you somethin’ else -  whether it’s Jay or someone else, it’s gonna be strange at first.  Blaine was your first, it’s weird after your first.  It was weird for me with Karen when we first started dating.”

“I guess,” Sebastian said faintly.  He looked down at the dashboard absently, not really seeing it.  It was odd to consider dating.  Honest-to-god dating, with more dates than Skype calls. He supposed it would be better than just messing around with Marc. There would be more dinners out, sex that meant something more than a hot fuck,  probably travel, and…what was it Blaine and David had called it?  Sebastian shook his head, he’d already forgotten what little he knew about relationships.  Then he remembered.  “Letting people in” - that was it.  He would have to let Jay in more, tell him when he was stressed out, tell him he loved him.  

Sebastian paused at that thought.  Did he love Jay?  Of course he did, just he had never thought about him loving him the same way he loved Blaine.  He probably could, Jay was pretty extraordinary, certainly desirable.  It was hard to imagine he could love him as much as he loved Blaine, but maybe that could change.  Sebastian wasn’t sure.  Maybe you can’t compare relationships really, because the people are all so different. The connection he had with Blaine, even when they were just friends, was different than how he connected with Jay.

Sebastian let out an almost imperceptible sigh.  He still knew so little about relationships.  The odds were that he would probably screw up again - and maybe hurt Jay.  He looked in the rearview mirror and saw Jay snort and roll his head, his body shifting so that a muscled bicep flexed as the textbook on his lap slid onto the floor.  Sebastian’s mind made a few connections and he stared at the rearview mirror for a moment longer, though he wasn’t really looking at anything in it.  His expression grew more deliberate.  Since when did he let his lack of knowledge on anything stop him? If he could learn Factory Physics, he could learn to be a better boyfriend, one that Jay deserved.  Blaine was too delicate, too precious, to ever mess with again, but maybe he could start fresh with Jay. Jay was tougher - he would call Sebastian out as needed, he never hesitated to do that - Jay knew how to keep him in line, and had, on a few occasions.  Still, Sebastian should deliver a lot of upside to make it worthwhile .

He looked back and studied Jay’s sleeping face again. Jay deserved all of the upside and more.  He was a romantic, but not in a sappy way.   He wanted a boyfriend, but he knew he didn’t need one.  And for over a year now, no one worthy had stepped up to the plate.  There had been the douchey first love, Gary the asshat who wouldn’t take no for an answer, and the boring medical student boyfriend.   Who else was left?  Charlie, Eric, Isaac, Thomas?  No, no, no, hell no.   

Sebastian was a better option than the rest of them.  The thought made him remember what Marc said. He drew himself straighter in his seat. That's right, he was.  He didn’t need Marc Michaels to tell him he was good enough for Jay.

But then Sebastian’s eyes wandered back to the rearview mirror, not just to Jay’s face but to the rest of him, which was now snuggled up with a beach blanket against the car door.  He looked like a kitten.  And he really didn’t need a boyfriend to be happy.  The sight made Sebastian wonder if it would just be better to leave well enough alone.

 

...

 

Blaine pushed his glasses up his nose, smiling across the table at his date.  It had been years since he had worn his glasses outside of home, but he decided to skip his contact lenses tonight in favor of making his transformation into Blaine 5.0 complete.  Tonight bespectacled Blaine would leave Blaine 4.0 in the dust.   

He took a sip from his water glass and said genially, “So, tell me a little about yourself, Diego.”  

“Well...I’m at the Anderson School of Business,” Diego said, twinkling at Blaine.  “You made me late to my class there that night you ran into my scooter.”

“Uh, I think _you_ ran into _me._ ”  Blaine teased, though he was a little surprised.  UCLA did not have an undergraduate business major, and he knew from his father that most MBA students worked for 4-5 years before attending business school. Diego must be in the minority, since he certainly didn’t look over 22 or 23.  “So you’re an MBA student?” he asked to confirm.

“Nope, do I look that ancient to you?”  Diego winked at him.  “I’m in my second year, straight outta Samohi - go Vikings!"

Blaine smiled, then took a sip of his lemonade to stall for a moment as he thought this through.  Then it dawned on him that Diego had been heading to an evening class at UCLA Extension, a branch of the university that offered courses to the public.  He looked up at Diego with a smile of comprehension.  He was impressed by people like Diego and Sam, who were navigating their own education for the time being, until they transferred to a degree program or chose not to continue in academia.  Blaine hadn’t managed the uncertainty of that path very well in Scotland. “Oh, okay, so you must be taking an Extension class?”  he smiled warmly.   

“Yeah,” Diego nodded, looking smug.  “At the Anderson School.  Ranked 17 spots higher than USC’s business school.  Pretty amazing, right?”

“Yes...go Bruins!” Blaine smiled at him, though he wasn’t sure how UCLA Extension’s standalone business courses had anything to do with the Anderson School of Management’s MBA rankings.  Maybe the same professors taught across the programs?  Diego’s remark around UCLA’s archrival, USC (where Nick attended), was kind of cute, though.  

“You’d make a good cheerleader,” Diego said, ogling him.  “Can you do the splits?” Blaine reminded himself that Sebastian made comments like that to him not too long after they’d met.  Well, sort of like that.  He squirmed a little internally at Diego’s smirk.  But Sebastian was the king of smirking.   Diego was just smirking.  It wasn’t really creepy.  He was asking Blaine about himself now, that was good.  

“Uh, yes.  I actually _was_ a cheerleader in high school.  But we were talking about you...now where did you say you went to high school again?  Sama...?”

“Samohi!  Oh right, sorry I forget you’re from out of state.  Sa. Mo. High.  Santa Monica High School.”

Blaine perked up.  “Oh I was at the LGBT Center with someone else who went there…  Anita Caldas?”

Diego looked a little blank.  “Nah, don’t know her.”  Then he added with a smirk, “But she probably knows who I am…”

Blaine took a breath, trying not to assume Diego was more arrogant than he already had demonstrated himself to bed.  “Really? So were you involved with some, prominent clubs?  I know it was a huge school,” Blaine said agreeably.

“Yeah, and my mom’s one of the stylists for Megan Fox and she got me a gig on the red carpet for stuff,” he said, looking smug.  “I took a selfie with Zendaya once.”

Blaine gave him a wan smile. “And what clubs were they?  That you were involved in?”

“The big thing at Samo was the water polo team,” Diego replied, looking cocky.  “Like, no one gives a shit about football.  And I was the biggest thing on the water polo team, hehehe.  You probably would have loved seeing me in action at a game  - guys in speedos and League champions, baby!”

“Wow.” The word worked on two different levels.  Blaine, still feeling stunned, went into polite autopilot.  He smiled at him, more stiffly this time.   “I’ve never seen water polo played, except on TV.  I’ve only played the old fashioned kind, and only until I was 16.”

“Yeah?  With horses and everything?  I’d like to see you ride a horse,” Diego leered.  “Why’d you stop?”

Blaine’s eyes narrowed for a moment, but he recovered quickly.  He answered coolly.  “I transferred schools, and the public school I moved to didn’t have a team.”

Diego was studying him and looking astute.  “Ohhhhh, you went to private school.  That’s why you’re full up on yourself…”

Blaine’s eyebrows lifted.  “Pardon me?” 

“The shnob thing.  The whole, ‘you’re just at UCLA Extension, not UCLA, thing.”

“But I didn’t say that,” Blaine protested, shaking his head.  “I never said that.  UCLA Extension is great.  My best friend Sam wants to take classes there…”

Diego wasn’t really listening as he reached into his pocket for a flask and took a swig from it. He was still smiling, though.  Well, smirking.  “Y’all don’t even get it, I pay half as much for classes and get just as much tail…”

Blaine stared at him, expressionless. He didn’t want to get defensive, because it might make him look like he was lying.  And he wanted it to be clear that he was not what this guy was depicting him to be.  He said as sincerely has he could, “Really, I don’t think any less of you for being an Extension student.”

“It’s okay,” Diego said, shrugging again.  “The schnob thing is okay since you’re so damnsome…”

Blaine wasn’t sure if he had heard right.  Ugh, he’d heard right.  “Uh, I’m sorry?” he said, some heat evident in his voice.  

“You heard me.  Damnsome.  Because, _damn,_ son…”  Diego’s eyes traveled down Blaine’s body, he even ducked his head under their restaurant’s farmhouse table.

Sebastian had been kind of like this in the beginning, he supposed.  But not this bad. Not this bad!  Blaine was now grimacing.  “I hope you dropped something,” he said, rolling his eyes and standing up quickly.  

“Nope...” Diego was grinning up at him.

“I have to make a phone call,” Blaine said, turning and fleeing the restaurant.  

 

...

 

Getting settled and closing out the party until 3 or 4 in the morning was distraction enough for all that had been weighing on Sebastian’s mind on the drive from Stanford.  And the next day, at the Natural Bridges State Beach, Sebastian let the sea air and the roar of the surf clear his head and heart.

 

[ x ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9x7qvEHZtps)

The sky and the sea were different shades of blue than the beaches near San Francisco. Sebastian had forgotten how different Santa Cruz felt from the beaches in Europe, the east coast, and the shores of the midwest lakes.  The size made it feel intimate, even though it housed one of the UC (University of California) campuses. It had a more relaxed, grounded vibe and it was just what Sebastian needed.

Rob took him and most of the others out for surf lessons.  As with most athletic pursuits Sebastian took to it pretty quickly, but he was found floating on his board more often than chasing waves.  He told the others he was being picky, and it appeared to be true, since whenever he did catch a wave he rode it for longer than anyone else but Rob.

In the late afternoon they had all parked their surfboards and  Thomas, his girlfriend Sasha, Charlie, Pauline, Sebastian and Jay were walking along the beach to get closer to the iconic natural bridge formation.  When they got as close as they could, Charlie ran out to the waves to body surf.  Sebastian found a good spot to sit down and enjoy the view of the bridge, and Jay sat down next to him.

Pauline and Sasha were about to join them when Thomas pulled at them sharply.  “Nein!  We leave the young _liebhaber_ alone now!”

Jay and Sebastian both gave him dirty looks, as they always did.  Thomas ignored them and continued to pull at them, but Pauline wasn’t budging.  But then Roger appeared behind them.  “Moshi moshi!” he called, and Pauline turned around and ran towards her boyfriend, looking happy.  Roger had left their crowd early Sunday morning for a breakfast with an old friend who was a student at UC Santa Cruz.   

“We all know you’re taking Japanese,” Jay called with affection.

“Hello Kitty, did you bring your football?  This would be a good spot for some touch,” Sebastian asked.  The beach had been too crowded for a game where Rob, Karen, David and the others were flying kites, further down the beach.

Roger looked about them.  “That sounds awesome.  I’ll go get it!” he said, turning back from whence he came.  “Babe, come with me,” he said to Pauline, who broke into a jog with him down the sand.

“Get ready to have your ass kicked…” Sebastian called.  “And get Hulter and Rob to play!”

Thomas grinned and he took off too, dragging Sasha down the beach.  “Do not be afraid, our Princes of Stanford!   _Die Liebe besiegt alles!_ ” [Love conquers all!] he called.

Jay and Sebastian looked at their retreating friend with amusement, shaking their heads.  After Blaine had visited last spring in Napa, Thomas had cooled off his attempts to push Sebastian and Jay together. But since the beginning of fall quarter he had been back to his old ways.  It barely fazed Jay and Sebastian anymore.  “He is so shameless,” Jay said, chuckling, standing up and looking over at Charlie, who was now just wading. “Better make sure our Texan friend doesn’t drown,” he said, running into the waves. 

Jay was the picture of youth, health, and beauty in the ocean.  Sebastian thought this hazily in the late afternoon sunshine, feeling the fatigue in his muscles. The train of thought that followed was barely conscious.  It started with just noticing how easy Jay was with awkward  Charlie.  Jay had a warmth, like Blaine – but his warmth had a quality that Sebastian could only describe as distinctly Californian.  California was so expansive, and it seemed especially so at a beach like this.  It was golden, full of potential, limitless, open. Blaine was open, but Jay was even more so. He had very little of the dignified reserve Blaine had sometimes.  It came from being rich, maybe.  You had to hold something back at first, otherwise too many try to take too much.

Sebastian watched Jay wrestle with Charlie in the ocean, registering the marked difference in body language between them.  Jay had so much more confidence.  He was arguably more confident than Blaine was, or at least less of a people pleaser.

Sebastian scowled, realizing that he was comparing them.  It wasn’t fair to Jay.  Because it didn’t matter if Jay was more confident, more of anything else - he wasn’t Blaine. Sebastian still missed Blaine so much.  At that thought, he turned over and lay face down, his hands under his cheek.  He wasn’t going to go there.  He took a deep breath of salt air, trying to focus on the view down  the beach, to push Blaine out of his mind.  He listened to the waves, felt the breeze and the sun.

Roger came to his rescue with a shout. “Heads up!” Sebastian looked up to see his friend’s tall, athletic form stopping mid-jog to pitch a football towards him. Sebastian jumped up with athletic grace to catch it, glad for the welcome distraction and the simple pleasure of playing ball with a friend.  

“Baker! Hart!  Let’s go!”  Roger called out towards the ocean as he came up to Sebastian.

“Where’s everyone else?”

Roger shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Singin’ Mary Poppins while they are kite flyin’ - or nappin’.” He watched Charlie and Jay walk up.  “I’ll take Charlie.”

Sebastian looked between the two newcomers and his eyes narrowed.  “No, he grew over the summer, I want him.”

“It’s not _tackle_ football,” Jay said, rolling his eyes.  “Getting picked last for the team, I’m having 3rd grade flashbacks…”

Roger shook his head and let out an easy laugh. “I’m only trying to make it fair, Bas.  Jay’s smaller but he’s got more skills.”  If you don’t like it, we can trade at the half.”

“Hey…” Charlie folded his arms across his chest, brow furrowed. 

“Welcome to the reject club,” Jay chuckled.

Sebastian’s brow was furrowed, too.  “Fine. Jay and I will try it out. We’ll see how we do.”

His words hung in the air with undue significance, at least to himself. With an uneasy shake of the head he shoved the football in Jay’s hands and jogged backwards, gesturing for Jay to throw the ball at him, his expression slightly uneasy.  

“Come on, let’s see what we’ve got...”

 

 

...

 

Outside the restaurant, Blaine dialed his friends in turn:  Sam, no answer; Tina, no answer. He wished he could call Nick, but it still felt weird. Anyway, he would have to catch up any of the Warblers on his situation and he just didn’t have time for that.  He reluctantly called Rachel next.

“Blaine! Is he in the restroom? How have the first 24 minutes been?!”

He should have called Mercedes instead.  

“They’ve been bad, Rachel.  Really, really, bad.”

“Oh, come on Blaine, I know it must be strange…”

Blaine’s words came in a flood, and practically through gritted teeth.  “No, I mean it, he’s awful!  He assumed I‘m a snob because I went to private school, yet he was so high on his horse about how he played water polo and how he goes to UCLA business school even though he doesn’t actually go there.  I swear he makes Hunter Clarington and Sebastian look like wallflowers!  He’s a namedropper and he drank from a flask at the table, and he checked out my... _me_ , UNDER the table!”  Blaine groaned, beginning to mutter.  “I should have known to not even go on this date, the stickers on his Razor scooter should have been a red flag!  It would be so rude to leave now, and maybe he’ll talk about me to other gay guys around town...but…”  Blaine ruined his hair by running his hand through it.  “I can’t do it.  I’m going back in there to tell him the date is over.”  

“You know what, Blaine? It sounds like...”

Blaine paced on the sidewalk, interrupting her to cut her off at the pass.  “I know, you think I am probably overreacting because I’m not over Sebastian, but I’m really not!  This does NOT mean I’m not over Sebastian, and it does NOT mean that I can’t demonstrate my independence from epic love affairs through casual dating!  It just means that this guy is a JACKASS!”

Rachel nodded.  “Yes,” she said reasonably.

Blaine stopped breathing for a second.  “Yes?”

Rachel shrugged.  “Yes.  I was just going to say that it sounds like you have seen enough to make a sound decision.  You should not have to listen to that O.C. reject go on and on to prove anything to yourself, or me, or anyone else.  I wish I could be in there when you tell him what’s what.  I heard from Finn and Sam that you really are quite threatening when you go for it.”  She added with big-sister-like authority, “Just don’t actually assault him, it’s not worth it.”

Blaine looked pleased, though still a little rattled.  “Thanks for your support, Rachel,” he said with a little sniff.  “If you’d like, I can put you on speakerphone while I tell him off.”

“That would be GREAT,” Rachel said with a fascinated smile.

But as he turned to go back in the restaurant the task at hand became more real.  “Maybe I should just leave.”

“No way!  He needs a detailed account on why he needs to change.  It’s your civic duty.”

The decision was made for him when Diego came out of the restaurant.  “What happened to you, dude?  You’re making me look bad in there.”

All of his distaste for Diego came back instantly and Blaine looked at him icily.  He did, however, find it even more inappropriate to make a scene in an even more  public place.  “I’m sorry, I’m still on my call.”  

 “It’s rude to leave your date in the middle of it!” Diego said, looking mad.

“But what if it was an emergency?” Blaine said, looking irritated.

 

“But it’s not, is it?!?” Diego said, looking like he’d solved a crime. 

“It absolutely was an emergency!” Rachel said indignantly into Blaine’s ear.  “I needed to open the emergency hatch for this terrible date!”

Blaine shook his head.  He couldn’t have two conversations at once.  “I’ll call you back, Rachel.”

He shoved his phone in his pocket and said testily,  “No it wasn’t an emergency, but it was close.  I called my friend to tell her that my date decided I was a snob just because I went to private school.”

Diego smirked triumphantly.  “Ha!  See, there you go, being a schnob again.  You think you’re better than me.  But you’re not, Mr. Fancy Pants.  I am the most awesome thing at the UCLA!”

Blaine looked at him like he was crazy.  “Wow, you have no idea how you sound.”

Diego crossed his arms.  “I sound great. You might have an ass I want to plow but I’m even hotter.  Look at my abs!” He pulled up his shirt.  “AND, I have a sweet Razor, AND I’m in the Anderson School of Business… 

Blaine shuddered at the crude language, then shook his head and furrowed his brow in frustration. He held up a hand to interrupt testily.  “Diego, I am not going to take your bait about the Anderson School and get into it about UCLA Extension again. I also am not going to ever understand why your Razor scooter is such a source of pride to you when there are hundreds just like it all over campus.  And as for your abs,” he argued, moving his hand lower to block his view “put them away!” 

Diego chuckled, moving closer, “Are they making you hot?”

Blaine rolled his eyes, “No, they are making me annoyed with you!” 

“But you think they’re hot, huh?  You think I’M hot, huh?” 

Blaine shook his head. “No, I think you are the opposite of hot!  You are a filthy…” 

“Hehe oh yeah, I bet you want someone dirty, don’t you, Schmancy pants?”

Blaine’s eyes widened, “No!” 

“Oh come on, deep, deep down?” 

“No!!!” Blaine gestured violently.

“Deep, deep, DEEP down!”  Diego growled lewdly.

Blaine’s clenched into fists.  “Oh my god NO, Diego, there is no part of me from my skin to my bones, that wants anything to do with you!  You’re a sleazy, blind miscreant so dazzled with your looks and your high school glory days that can’t see how repulsive your come-ons are or how ignorant you look when you proclaim you are an Anderson student when we both know you have never gotten an admissions letter from there!” Blaine was feeling pretty damned Blaine 5.0 so he went for it, feeling a dressing down would do Diego good: “And you know what...your abs? I’ve seen better!”  He thought of Sebastian’s body, but he shook himself so he wouldn’t get distracted - he need to focus, focus, focus on getting this creep away from him.  “Now get the hell away from me!”  

Diego looked at him with amazement.  “Whoa...you are SUPER hot right now.  Let’s go back to my place.” 

“ARGH!!!”

 

…

 

After football and kites had lost their charm, the party retreated to the larger beach house, where the backyard fire pit roared with flames and the crowd sipped Coronas and sodas.  Thomas had laid out chips and salsa, fruit, and homemade empanadas Sasha had brought.  The sound of Pauline picking chords on her guitar and the smell of chicken, shrimp and brats on grill made the idyllic scene complete.  Hoodies and sweatshirts had been pulled on, but it still felt like summer.  Sebastian stretched out on a chaise lounge near the firepit, more relaxed than he had been in he didn’t know how long.

After conferring with Pauline, Sasha put down her Corona and sat on the front of an adirondack chair to sing:

[Listen to “Everybody” by Ingrid Michaelson at [ http://bit.ly/2x9NHcq ](http://bit.ly/2x9NHcq)]

 

 _Hm hm hm hm_  
_Hm hm hm hm_  
_We have fallen down again tonight_  
_In this world it's hard to get it right_  
_Trying to make your heart fit like a glove_

_What it needs is love, love, love_

 

Sebastian looked up, his expression almost puzzled.  He was used to Blaine turning normally treacly songs into surprisingly satisfying experiences, but he didn’t expect to have this girl turn in a performance with such similar, unapologetic sincerity.  He looked at Thomas, who had paused from manning the grill to look proud.  Sebastian gave him a faint smile of approval.  He could see why Thomas had been attracted to Sasha.  The cocky German needed this kind of balance to his brash approach to the world.

_Everybody, everybody wants to love_  
_Everybody, everybody wants to be loved_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh_

 _Everybody, everybody wants to love_  
_Everybody, everybody wants to be loved_  
_Oh oh oh_ _  
Oh oh oh_

 _Happy is the heart that still feels pain_  
_Darkness drains and light will come again_  
_Swing open up your chest and let it in_  
_Just let the love, love, love begin_

  
Sebastian studied Sasha’s loving expression and felt a some pressure lessen in his heart that he didn’t realize was there.

  
_Everybody, everybody wants to love_  
_Everybody, everybody wants to be loved_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh_

 _Everybody, everybody wants to love_  
_Everybody, everybody wants to be loved_  
_Oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh_  
  
_Oh, everybody knows the love_  
_Everybody holds the love_  
_Everybody folds for love_  
_Everybody feels the love_  
_Everybody steals the love  
Everybody heals with love_

 

Sebastian paused at that line.  Would it heal him?  

 

 _Oh oh oh oh_  
_Just let the love love love begin_

  
Charlie was clapping along to the song, showing everyone what a lightweight he was after two Coronas, and it made Sebastian smile faintly at him.  What a puppy.

 

 _Everybody, everybody wants to love_  
_Everybody, everybody wants to be loved_  
_Oh oh oh_  
Just let the love love love begin

 _Everybody, everybody wants to love_  
_Everybody, everybody wants to be loved_  
_Oh oh oh_  
Just let the love love love begin

Pauline was now singing back up and rounds for Sasha.  

  
_Everybody, everybody wants to love (everybody knows the love)_  
_Everybody, everybody wants to be loved (everybody holds the love)_  
_Oh oh oh (everybody folds for love)_  
_Oh oh oh_

 

The crowd clapped and Sasha beamed at them all.  Her eyes landed on Sebastian.  “I’ve heard you sing lead in a  show choir, Sebastian.  Will you sing something?”

Sebastian nodded and shrugged, giving the group a trademark smirk as clapping and happy noises erupted from Karen, Jay, and others.  “As long as it’s not a duet with your Herr Barbecue over there…” he cracked, pointing at Thomas, who was back over at the grill.  Sebastian put down his beer and leaned forward, looking over at Pauline.  She had come into his suite and played countless songs for him in the last year, but Sebastian was in the mood for something new.  “That new duet you’re learning, the country crossover one...is it ready for primetime yet?”

Pauline wrinkled her nose.  “Maybe?  She reached for her phone to look up the chords, a little hesitantly.  I’ll try it...but it would be better if you sang both parts.”  

Sebastian shook his head.  That wouldn’t do.  He looked around the group.  “Anyone know ‘19 You & Me’?” Heads were wagging “no,” so Sebastian shrugged and said,  “No takers.  ‘Hotel California’ it is…”

Pauline looked up, looking puzzled. She looked over at her best friend, who was sitting nearby.  “Jay, you know ‘19 You & Me’!  You’ve only heard me practice it all week...”  

Sebastian chuckled.  “You practiced it for him, too?  I’m injured, Paulie Pocket - you song-cheated on me!  But this means you better be really good at this song.”

“I play for stress relief, not perfection, Smythe,” Pauline retorted, throwing a napkin at him.

Jay was looking tentative, but he pulled his phone out. “If I read the lyrics I could do it, I guess.”  He looked over at Sebastian.  “You have to sing the higher part, though.”

Sebastian gave him a reassuring smile.  “Sure, sure.”

In a few more moments, all three looked ready, and Pauline began.  Sebastian came forward to lean on his knees, giving Jay a supportive look. Jay looked down at the lyrics and Sebastian closed his eyes to get into his performance headspace.  The opening notes seeped into him as Jay began to sing:

_[Listen to “19 You and Me” by Travis Atreo and Colton Haynes at[ http://bit.ly/2ydKzuj ](http://bit.ly/2ydKzuj)]_

_It was our first week_  
_At Myrtle Beach_  
_Where it all began_  
_It was 102°_  
_Nothin' to do_  
_Man it was hot  
So we jumped in_

 

Sebastian opened his eyes and watched Jay, who was staring into the fire and singing with a soulful expression.

 

 _We were summertime sippin', sippin'_  
_Sweet tea kissin' off of your lips_  
_T-shirt drippin', drippin' wet_ _  
How could I forget?_

 _  
_ Sebastian sang the chorus with a will, the beauty of the afternoon fully evoked by the chords, the relaxed buzz from his Corona, and Jay’s velvety voice.  His eyes shut again and his tenor rang out true in the deepening sunset:

 

 _Watchin' that blonde hair swing_  
_To every song I'd sing_  
_You were California beautiful_  
_I was playin' everything but cool_

 _I can still hear that sound_  
_Of every wave crashin' down_  
_Like the tears we cried_  
_That day we had to leave_

  
  
Jay was watching Sebastian lovingly.  It was amazing to see him like this again. He looked like an injured bird that had finally taken flight again.  It was was such a relief to see him on the other side of the heartbreak and pain.  He was so busy thinking about all of this that he forgot to look at the lyrics and he almost missed coming in on cue.  But as it turned out, Pauline was right - he knew this song after all:

 

 _It was everything we wanted it to be_  
_The summer of_ _  
19 you and me_

 

Sebastian met his eyes as he sang those lines, and they sang smilingly together on the next, conscious thought fleeing both of them in the imagery and feeling of the song:

 

 _We had our first dance in the sand_  
_It was one hell of a souvenir_  
_Tangled up, so in love_  
_So, let's just stay right here_

 _'Til the sun starts creepin', creepin' up_  
_Right then I knew_  
_Just what you were thinkin', thinkin' of_

 

In perfect accord, they both chose to step up the next line, smiling at each other:

 

_When I looked at you_

 

Sebastian sang with renewed verve, with Jay backing him - the way Jay always backed him.

 

 _Watchin' that blonde hair swing_  
_To every song I'd sing_  
_You were California beautiful_  
_I was playin' everything but cool_  
_I can still hear that sound_  
_Of every wave crashin' down_  
  
_Like the tears we cried_  
_That day we had to leave_

  
  
Jay’s voice on this song was as grounded as Sebastian wanted it to be:

 

_It was everything we wanted it to be_

 

They sang together so well, better than Sebastian ever guessed he could.  His gratitude for Jay, and Jay’s deep affection for Sebastian, showed in the way they belted out the refrain:

  
_The summer of_  
_19 you and me_ _  
_ ohhhh...you and me

 

Jay looked at Sebastian during the next few bars, a little tentatively.  He wasn’t sure what to make of Sebastian’s singing or what he was feeling.

 

 _Watchin' that blonde hair swing_  
_To every song I'd sing_  
_You were California beautiful_

 

Sebastian’s green eyes gave him the support he needed, twinkling at him, as if to say, “Go for it, belt it out…”  So he did:

 

_Beautiful, beautiful yeah_

 

Sebastian was proud of him, and he looked gratified as he sang on towards the conclusion, bravely leaving the safety of Jay’s gaze to look around the circle.  He saw David looking fond, and Karen and Rob trying hard not to look like proud parents.  Sebastian would have rolled his eyes at them but he couldn’t help but feel anything but good.

 _Watchin' that blonde hair swing_  
_To every song I'd sing_  
_You were California beautiful_  
_I was playin' everything but cool_

 _I can still hear that sound_  
_Of every wave crashin' down_  
_Like the tears we cried_ _  
_ That day we had to leave

 _It was everything we wanted it to be_  

 _  
_ When Jay sang the final words, Sebastian looked back at him to meet his eyes.  He knew Jay was a romantic, that to be fair to Jay there had to be at least a chance of a forever. It was suddenly not hard at all though, as he looked at Jay against an ocean sunset with their circle of friends, to imagine a version of forever.  And for the first time, he felt up for going after it.

_ _

_  
_ _The summer of 19 you and me_

 

When they finished, the crowd clapped vociferously and Sebastian stood up to bow with a little less swagger than usual, and to fondly present a suddenly shy Jay.  Then Thomas called that the barbeque was ready and the crowd dispersed to eat.   

Not feeling at all hungry, Sebastian went inside, taking the stairs two at a time to the large upstairs sitting room of the McMansion.  It opened up to a balcony and he went out onto it, looking out at the beautiful sunset and then down at the rest of the party.  He pulled his phone out of his pocket to text Jay before he could overthink things. 

Jay came in short order, looking a little tentative.  “Hey, what’s up?” he said as he reached the top of the stairs.  

Sebastian waited until Jay came up to him.  His arms were folded tightly across his abs - they were tensed and so was the rest of him.  He was going to do it right this time, if it killed him.  It actually might.  What if he just wasn’t genetically engineered to be in successful at relationships? Because if you couldn’t find a way to love Blaine Anderson properly, what hope was there? He shook himself. No damn it, even fucking Kurt Hummel was dating someone else. He could do this. It was possibly now or never, or at least almost never. How often did someone like Jay come around? Barely ever.  He could do this, he could do this, he could do this.  He would just start where he ended miserably with Blaine. He was going to do right by Jay, right up front. He was going to say it, even if he wasn’t sure if Jay was going to say it back.   
  
He spat the words out, almost violently. “Jay.  I love you.”  Then he felt like he was floating out of his body.

Jay looked confused for a moment, but then he smiled faintly and then said gently, bordering on a preschool teacher’s tone, “I...I love you too, Bas. Do you...need something from me?” 

Jay’s voice grounded him a bit and Sebastian nodded, actually looking not unlike a preschooler for a moment. He probably should have planned this out. He didn’t know what to say, to help Jay understand. So he impulsively just moved closer, pulled Jay into his arms, and kissed him.  

Jay looked at him with surprise and grew rigid as Sebastian leaned down toward him. But then the romance of the moment, the sweet way Sebastian was holding him, and the bold wishfulness of the kiss took over. Jay let it happen, not thinking at all, his body slowly relaxing into the unexpected moment.

They both felt a rush, for it was a kiss rooted in love and hope. But when they parted for air, Jay’s brain took over and he looked at Sebastian with some hesitancy. He honestly had been hoping that Sebastian and Blaine would reconcile, so it was his turn not to know what to say.  He didn’t want to hurt Sebastian’s feelings, but he was suddenly confused. “Bas...I…”

His face said it all to Sebastian, who nodded and stepped back, his arms reluctantly loosening their hold.  “Yeah, sorry...I just...I didn’t know how else to explain that I...that…” Looking at Jay’s tender expression made him feel bolder, especially as it registered with him that Jay had not pushed away from the kiss.  “That I love you,” he said firmly.  It sounded less weird the second time and he was glad of it.  “Not just as a friend.”  He paused, his chest tightening with trepidation, but he wanted to dive in - he had to get it right this time.  “I want us to date.  And that is not an impulsive question.  I’ve been thinking about this.  And I’m definitely over the whole Blaine thing, I don’t want to get back together him,  I swear to fucking god.  And I can end things with Marc.”

Jay looked a little overwhelmed.  “Oh...uh, oh.”  He looked with wide eyes at Sebastian, who was trying so hard.  “I...um...uh...so you…”  he blushed at his own stammerings.  “I’m sorry, you kind of took me by surprise.”

Sebastian’s instincts kicked in and he found it in himself to take care of Jay for the first time in probably three months.  He moved to touch his shoulder with one hand.  He looked worried, but he spoke with as much reassurance as he could. “It’s okay, sorry to spring this on you. I just...didn’t know when would be a good time...but after that song, I thought that it could be...”  He glanced away at the sunset, moving to hold the railing with one hand, before looking back into Jay’s blue eyes with grave sincerity.  “But just hear me out, then you can take as long as you want to think it over.”  He took a deep breath and let his words come out in an anxious flood.  It was a testament to how safe he felt with Jay, that he was shooting from the hip like this.  But he had to get it all out, so that the ball could be in Jay’s court as soon as possible and Sebastian could stop freaking out about what else to say.  

His green eyes were as urgent as his voice.  “I know I’ll make mistakes, but I promise not to make the same ones twice. And I’ll treat you like a king. I’ll pay more attention to you and spend more time with you. And you know that I’m the last guy who would want to treat anyone like a rebound.”  He bit his lip and continued fiercely, “So if I ever EVER make you feel used or if I ever take you for granted or hurt you in any way, I will fucking slit my wrists, I swear to god.”  He stopped there, not knowing how to end his speech.  So he instinctively just reached down and took Jay’s hands, which looked reassuring and strong.  Then he looked up into the most sensitive blue eyes he’d ever seen, and spoke straight from his heart, without thinking at all, for once.  “I can’t promise you this is going to be forever...but I...I want to try.”

Jay was speechless - he’d never seen Sebastian quite like this. It did something to his heart.

Sebastian instantly regretted telling Jay that he could take as long as he wanted to think about this and answer.

Sebastian’s green eyes reflected just how much he cared about this, how much he wanted Jay, how much he wanted his love.  So Jay didn’t break their gaze and whispered simply, “Okay.”

They smiled almost shyly at each other for a long moment, as they were slowly swept with the realization that this, that “they” were becoming something more.  A moment later they drew together slowly for another kiss, this one longer and sweeter.

Applause and cheers broke out from below, including a stream of German exclamations.  Sebastian smiled against Jay’s lips and didn’t stop kissing him, waving a dismissive hand at the group below before moving his new love away from the railing.

 

...

 

The sex was sweet and hot and exactly the way it should have been, but there wasn’t much talk afterwards or in the morning.  Jay and Sebastian had never been very chatty, so it made sense. They had had their share of meaningful conversations over the past year, but they spent a lot of time together in comfortable silence.  Sebastian also knew Jay tended to process things internally too, and that he would speak up if he had any concerns.

They joined their friends for brunch and in the afternoon they headed out on the sand to go for a swim, enjoying the last bit of the Indian summer sunshine on their bare chests. It was an oddly happy thing to take Jay’s hand for the first time, and Sebastian felt a warmth permeate him.

He looked up to see Jay was looking at their hands too, and they looked at each other with a loving, mutual accord. As they reached the water and got their feet wet, there was a shriek of laughter and they looked to one side to see Charlie, who was shakily trying to stand up on his surfboard.  Jay called out words of encouragement that Sebastian barely caught, because he was taking in Jay’s warm smile, the way he supportively nodded his handsome head, and how he laughed at whatever Charlie had shouted back at him.  Jay was soft sun and strong sailing and everyone’s ballast.  Sebastian really did love him.

Jay kept laughing and hollering out to Charlie, who was now flat on his board and paddling towards them, while Sebastian checked the time. He looked at the watch face for longer than necessary.  The Movado had two readings for two different time zones, now set to Paris and California, but because Blaine had given it to him it made Sebastian think about the fact that he now loved two people.  He felt a twinge of guilt at the thought - was that unfair to Jay? After a moment, he decided it wasn’t. He might love Blaine still, and he probably always would, but he didn’t want to be with him. He was certain he was wrong for Blaine. Blaine had also not been someone to be in a relationship with, either. And looking into the pair of loving blue eyes that had turned back to him, he was certain that everything about what he had with Jay was very, very right.   

Jay had noticed Sebastian looking at Blaine’s watch, but he didn’t comment on it.  He just said a little apologetically, “He might need help, so this might not be the relaxing swim you wanted.” Then he paused for a moment, studying Sebastian, who was a little inscrutable, as usual.  Jay looked into his eyes and said with an expression of understanding, “We’re sure we want to do this?  Because we don’t have to.”

Sebastian nodded reassuringly at him, his smile tender and his hair lit almost golden in the sunshine. “I’m in, if you are...”

So they took the plunge.

 

….

 

Blaine came home still steaming.  He kicked off his shoes, took a hot shower to wash the ickiness of the date off of him, then went to the kitchen for comfort.  After digging a box of Cheez-its out of the cupboard he threw himself onto the sofa to eat them and stare at CSI-something-or-other.  He needed to cool off and didn’t want to think.

An hour later he woke to the sound of a car parking on the driveway.  He sat up on the sofa, hoping it was Tina and Sam, but there was no rattle of keys at the front door.  Instead, he just heard voices.  The car windows must have been open because he could hear Pete’s voice, talking and laughing with another guy.  It was too bad that Pete didn’t want to bring a friend inside the house to meet them.

He flopped back down on the sofa and stared at the ceiling, deciding he felt better after his nap.  Sitting up, he moved to the kitchen to pour himself some water, and sat down at the kitchen table to drink it.  This was the first night he’d had in LA that he was spending without Sam or Tina, and he found that it was pretty peaceful. He surmised time in Florence must have made him more comfortable with an empty house, and it struck him that Sebastian would be proud of him for this.

Blaine sipped thoughtfully, looking forward to the day when he could share his life with Sebastian again, and when he could hear more about Sebastian’s. He wondered what Sebastian was up to tonight.  It was a  thought without great longing or angst anymore, he realized.  It was bittersweet.  

He got up and walked to the patio door, turning back when he heard the sound of the front door opening.  He heard Pete call farewell from the doorstep and then head down the hall to his bedroom, which reminded Blaine of what a good singer the taller boy had been in class.  He wondered if any of the acapella groups had recruited Pete yet.  Then he pivoted back and opened the patio door, sighing internally at the subject of UCLA activities recruiting. He was finding it tiring to continue to fend off Sigma Chi, his father’s fraternity, and several other fraternities on campus. They all tended to be persistent, forcing him to politely explain over and over that he wasn’t interested, but that he wasn’t against all fraternities or fraternity men. He wished he could be more efficient about it, the way Sebastian had been when he had declined the ten fraternities who had courted him last year: “Yeah, I know it’s shocking that I wouldn’t want to cozy up to historically racist, homophobic, and misogynist clans that pump themselves up to cut guys out after a handful cattle call events.” Blaine knew that Bill Smythe was also a Sigma Chi alum, so that didn’t help matters, either.

Blaine moved to lean against the railing of the deck. Not going Greek meant he had also been occupied with finding another group to connect with.  After all, he had come to UCLA for new experiences to broaden his perspective, so he was looking to be part of something that wasn’t related to music, theatre, cheerleading or LGBTQ issues.

Tina had almost immediately found an all girls cappella group last year that she loved and Harvey wasn’t interested in the club scene, so Blaine was on his own. He tried the Rally committee, the UCLA Hunger Project, the Bruin Democrats and the Bruin Naturalists. He wasn’t interested in joining a bunch of different clubs like he did in desperation at McKinley. He just wanted to find at least one that could provide a new flavor to his life.

But it had already been four weeks and none of them had “clicked” with him yet.  He wasn’t even being shy like he had been in Scotland when he first arrived.  He was putting himself out there and meeting people and they all seemed nice, he just hadn’t found one that really did anything special for him.  He could tell Tina and Rachel were worrying about him in this regard, but he realized now that he actually was okay with it all. He was getting enough satisfaction from enjoying the new home with Sam and Tina, from diving deep into his studying and trying out different campus libraries on for size. 

Sure, the lack of success in the club endeavor did leave a void in his life - but he could stand it for now.  He was sure this was only a temporary void.  

He turned at the sound of Sam and Tina bursting in the door.  “Hey!” they chorused. Blaine stepped back into the kitchen. 

Sam was across the kitchen/living room near the door still, hanging his jacket on the coat hook.  “How was the date?”  His roommate asked politely, though his eyes were a little sad.    

Blaine gave him a warning look to keep him in check. “I’ll tell you if you promise not to compare him to Sebastian.”

“I’ll make him keep it together,”  Tina said expeditiously,  coming into the kitchen and putting her purse down on the dining table. “I’m guessing it wasn’t great, by the look on your face?”

Blaine leaned on the sliding glass door and arched an eyebrow at Tina.  “You wanted me to get my feet wet?  I got them wet alright, frolicking in a cesspool tonight,” he said with a mildly chiding look.

Tina gritted her teeth and waved him over to the table. “That bad, huh?  Sorry, Blainey Days.”  

Sam was opening the refrigerator.  “Ugh that sounds rough.”

Blaine sighed as he sat down, putting his empty water glass down. “Can you get me a root beer?” he called to Sam.  “He was an even bigger donkey than I thought he would be.  He called me a snob just because I went to private school, but then he was bragging about going to red carpet events!” Blaine rolled his eyes at the memory.  “He was drinking from a flask at the table, and looking at me like he wanted to strip me down right then and there!”

“Whoa, it sounds like we went on the SAME date tonight.” Pete was chuckling and standing in the living room near the kitchen.  

Blaine, Tina and Sam all turned to look at Pete.  “Hey...” Tina said with a friendly smile.

“Heyo,” Sam said, turning from where he was rummaging for the bottle opener.

Blaine didn’t say anything.  He was a little more excited than the occasion maybe merited, so he instinctively retrained himself so he wouldn’t make a fool out of himself more than he already had in front of Pete. 

Tina was standing up and waving Pete over to sit down.  “Oh no, double disaster dates!  Come, I’ll get the ice cream to go with the root beer.”

Pete came in, saying, “My buddy and I just drowned my sorrows in frozen yogurt, but sure, my date was so bad double dairy comfort is not outta the question.” He sat down at the small dining table across from Blaine, and it felt a little awkward for a moment.

Sam had just finished opening the two bottles and he gave his to Pete with an easy grin.  “Who was your date?” he asked, sitting down and waving off Blaine’s attempt to give him the other root beer.

“A blonde communist named Misty who I’m pretty sure shreds men to eat in her acai bowls,” Pete replied with a comic distress, his eyes crinkled up in mirth.

Blamtina tittered as Tina scooped the Dreyer’s. Blaine admired Pete’s ability to laugh at it all.  

“Come on now,” Petey said with wry smile for Blaine.  “Make me feel better by telling me that at least your date was nice to look at.  Mine had stretched the piercings in her ears to the size of hula hoops.  Don’t get me wrong, those stretched earlobes can look cool on people who have done it right, but on her they just looked like oversized peach gummy rings that had melted in the sun!” he said with an infectious chuckle.

Everyone did indeed laugh with him again, and Blaine offered with amusement,   “All I can remember about my dream man Diego’s appearance is how gargantuan his head was!  You should have heard him go on about himself in high school!”

“Oh my god my date did the same thing!  About how debate team was the shit!  How is the debate team the shit in any school in America?!?”

“Well it certainly wasn’t the shit at Santa Monica High, because apparently water polo is the shit there.  And my man Diego, I can guarantee you, was the biggest piece of shit there,” Blaine said firmly, his eyes twinkling.

All four housemates laughed heartily. Sam and Tina were sure they hadn’t seen Blaine laugh so merrily since he had come back from Italy.  

“How is it that you were on a date with an asshole?” Pete asked, “A Prom King like you?”

“Oh don’t get him started on Prom King…” Sam said with a laugh.

“That’s not about me specifically! It’s the principle of the thing. Artie should have won.“

“You are proving his point,“ Tina laughed. She looked at Pete with a rueful smile.  “Remind me to tell you about my prom _queen_ story sometime.” 

Blaine laughed at himself and shook his head. “Well I wouldn’t wish Diego on even our stoner prom king Brett. The only reason why I didn’t listen to my gut about Diego is that he caught me at a weak moment,” he said with a rueful smile. “My OkCupid inbox was not looking good.”

Pete’s eyes were wide and he said excitedly, “Oh my god, my date was a friend of my sister’s friend, and I said yes right after some girl online told me she was formulating plans to overthrow USC’s administration!”

Blaine laughed.  “Little did you know that she was small potatoes compared to your Comrade tonight!”

“Are Communists allowed to eat potatoes, is the question…” Sam mused, waggling his eyebrows.

Tina’s eyebrows raised.  “I’m being good and not having ice cream, but now I want french fries.”

“Misty said that her shoes were vegan.  Do you think she has french fry shoes?” Pete asked rhetorically.  Then he added with a baffled look. “Then she told me I was a murderer because of my leather jacket.”

Blaine had stood up to get a napkin but when he sat down again he gave Pete a humorous look. “Just tell me Misty didn’t check out your body UNDER the table.  Because Diego had no shame about doing that.”

Pete chuckled and shook his head, his long locks swinging crazily as he started what was clearly a schtick. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nope Blaine, you can’t sweep back to the table with your penis peeping story and steal my thunder. Because my date dissed Michelle Obama. And then she told me that I looked like I could fuck a badass girl into submission. Then she proceeded to tell me about how my mother must have been money-hungry, because she let me work as a kid.  You know, because Broadway is such sweatshop.”

“Oh my god!” Tina exclaimed as she set large ice cream glasses with long spoons in them in front of the boys.

Sam gritted his teeth and laughed.  “I slept with a bitch cheerleader for awhile and even she never went after my mama.”

“I can see that.  Santana has lines she won’t cross,” Tina remarked.

Blaine was chuckling.  “Yes, but did your kinky date actually start to undress in public?  Because Diego actually thought he would win me over if he yanked up his shirt and showed me his abs in front of the valet stand. I told him I’d seen better,” he said, with silly smile.

“But were they actually any good?” Tina giggled as she went into the refrigerator for another bottle of root beer.

Blaine shrugged.  “B+.  Sebastian’s were way better.”  He glanced over at Sam.  “And yours are too, of course.”

“Sebastian’s probably _still_  has good abs,” Sam pointed out as he took the root beer from Tina. “Because there is no way he let himself go just because you guys broke up...”

Blaine laughed.  “Good point.  Wrong verb tense.”

Joey was pouring his root beer.  “Well, this probably won’t make _you_ feel better, but at least one good thing that has come out of your craptastic date.  Now I know you’re not perfect, at least. I thought you lived this charmed life until now.  I was kinda afraid to talk to you,” he said with amiable frankness. 

Blaine’s mouth dropped open.  “What? Oh jeez, no,” he shook his head vigorously. “But I’m not going to give you a blow by blow right now of everything that is not perfect in my life right now.  Diego has been enough for the night.” He dug into his ice cream. “But to think, this whole time we were intimidated by you, too. That’s why we haven’t been able to talk to you for real yet!”

Tina and Sam looked at him with puzzled expressions.  

Blaine looked confused.  “What…?”

Tina looked at Blaine and then back at Pete.  “We went to a matinee...when was that…”  
  
“Thursday,” Pete supplied.

“Yes, we went on Thursday to that revival house, then we got coffee afterwards. And Monday night he gave me a jazz dance tutorial..did I not mention that?”

Sam piped in with a shrug. “He and I talked like all morning about football and families and stuff this whole week…”

Blaine smiled at them all with amazement.  “Well then I’m the only one late to the Pete party…”

“Petey,” his new housemate corrected him.  “That’s what my friends call me.”

 

…  
  
  
After they had been sugared up by the root beer floats, the Treehouse residents changed clothes and  piled into Petey’s Subaru station wagon and drove east on Sunset Blvd. to Hollywood, to a new karaoke bar Tina had read about.

As Petey and Sam clowned their way through a song together, Blaine was smiling widely. But he was thoughtful, too. Because while he had known that he hadn’t been needing someone to date, it came to him now that what he had needed wasn’t necessarily a new club, either.  He  had just needed new joy.

He got plenty of it during the next song, when he got to duet with Petey next.  Blaine laughed until he cried when Petey yanked his shirt up to show the crowd his soft abs during the chorus:

 _[Listen to “Safe and Sound” by Capital Cities on our YouTube playlist_ [ http://bit.ly/2xdyIxS ](http://bit.ly/2xdyIxS)] 

 _I could lift you up_  
_I could show you what you wanna see  
__And take you where you wanna be_  

 _You could be my luck_  
_Even if the sky is falling down  
_ _I know that we'll be safe and sound_

 _We're safe and sound_  
_I could fill your cup_  
_You know my river won't evaporate  
_ _This world we still appreciate_

_ _

_You could be my luck_  
_Even in a hurricane of frowns  
_ _I know that we'll be safe and sound_

 _Safe and sound_  
_We're safe and sound_  
_Safe and sound  
_ _We're safe and sound_

 _Hold your ground_  
_We're safe and sound  
_ _Safe and sound_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people,
> 
> Man that was a long two months. It was a fairly tricky chapter to write, and it ended up being a longer than usual chapter, too. Hope you enjoyed it, it's nice to not be so angsty finally, I am very proud of both our boys in this chapter.
> 
> Thanks so much for hanging with us through all that, and the rest of this ongoing saga. We're rounding the corner towards Act 3 of 3, so keep trying to enjoy this saga (I did say in the summary that this is a serial, so don't bother getting huffy with me in a review about the pace)! This is the character development and ship development i wanted in Glee in the style of a soap opera/book series/long-running TV dramedy. All that being said, Seblaine are going to start talking regularly again in the next chapter, I swear to god - phew and yay! 
> 
> We would love to hear from you, about what is landing with you, and what you like best. After all of this time did you even remember Victor or Kenny? Thoughts on the potential of Harvey and Petey having Karen, and David level roles? Or are you just happy to have them for comic relief like Thomas? 
> 
> Or we'd love to hear from you just to get the drive-by "beep beep," so we know you're still out there reading!


	49. Kevin, Brian, Sambastian, Bambi and Ripped Jeans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have angst, we have comedy...hopefully you'll like it all. We see Jay and Bas dating, Blaine getting to know not just one but TWO possible romantic interests, and as usual there is work for our outstanding supporting cast of Sam, Tina, Rob, Karen, the new friends Petey and Harvey, and the ex-something, Marc. Oh, and Blaine has his "spitball moment" to match Seb's at the Lima Bean a couple of chapters ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a day late for the last night of Hanukkah, but early for Christmas...because I have a gift for you. This is the longest chapter by a long shot - 39K words! I think the longest before was 20, maybe 30K?
> 
> I just couldn't leave you guys again without giving you what I give you at the end of the chapter. Anyone chatting in the comments I think knows the spoiler. 
> 
> Thank you to this chapter's Betas Alyssa, Thamy, Ana and Rose! Ana did these beautiful collages and the phone manip at the end of the chapter, too! I'm so lucky to have all of you as friends.
> 
> Going to go pass out from the effort it was to get this done! Hope the New Year brings you much peace and love, and Seblaine!

 

 _  
_ _Blaine5point0: Hi, I ‘liked’ your profile because I  saw that you’re a fan of Marvel & Harry Potter and because you wrote that you’re just starting to like musicals after disliking them your whole life. It’s an unusual combination, so even if you don’t want to date me maybe we can become best friends, haha. _

_Blaine5point0: Sorry if that sounded weird, I swear I’m normal. I’m just not great at this whole OKCupid thing yet? I’ve never messaged anyone before._

_KevinStark: You’re fine :).  I’ve been on here for a year and can count on one hand the number of times I’ve messaged someone.  This is a weird way to meet people, but it’s less weird when someone else starts the conversation - you only have to react. Being the starter is extra weird._

_Blaine5point0: I’ve only been on here for two weeks.  If you haven’t quit after a year, that bodes well for me._

_KevinStark: Maybe - I suppose it could mean (1) I am being really picky, (2) no one is picking me, or, as I think you’re implying, (3) it’s fun and effective enough to have me coming back.  It’s probably a combination of all three._

_KevinStark: You should know I’m a slow mover on here. Just call me Tortoise. As in, don’t be offended by how long it takes before I want to meet up in person. Also please don’t assume that because of this that I don’t look like my profile picture, or that I’m slow about everything I do._

_Blaine5point0: Oh it’s such a relief to meet someone else who is a slow mover.  I’ve had a lot of guys wanting to meet up the same day, sometimes when we’re chatting at 10PM at night!_

_KevinStark: Oh beware of those guys, I thought maybe it was for a late coffee because we’re students, but nope even though my profile does not have “hookups” checked off, there they were, ready to go.  #AWKWARD_

_Blaine5point0: Yeah, I couldn’t pull the trigger on going to meet up with them, something in the pit of my stomach felt off_

_KevinStark: You were smart to listen to your gut_

 

Blaine looked pleased - this was the least awkward conversation he’d had with anyone on _OKCupid_ so far.  Though right now he didn’t know what to say next.  Thinking quickly, he pulled up Kevin’s profile and spotted an inroad.  He inwardly blessed his father and thought of Sebastian for a moment before he started typing again. His next reply was boring, but it was better than nothing.  

 

_Blaine5point0: I saw you’re a business student.  My dad is in business, so my brother and I picked up a little bit about it growing up.  Unfortunately for my dad, my brother and I both are actors_

_KevinStark: I tend to think of the MBAs as the business students. I’m a PhD student. I don’t say that to sound snooty, but just to say that if you say that if we ever meet up in a group and you say to your friend, “this is Kevin, he’s a business student,” I’ll be looking around to see which MBA named Kevin you’re talking about. But yes, I am a student at Anderson - in the Marketing department._

_Blaine5point0: Oh, I see, haha got it. That’s great you’re going to get your PhD. Do you want to become a professor, then? Sorry I’m not familiar with what else you could do with a PhD in Marketing._

_KevinStark: Hah no worries not many people are. There are a few options in corporate America, but yes, I came to Anderson to get into academia._

_KevinStark: It’s a lot braver to get into acting than it is to get into business, imho._

_Blaine5point0: My mom was a West End actress and she said that exact thing to my dad when my brother Cooper pretty much ran away from home to be an actor._

_Blaine5point0: West End is the Broadway of London...since you weren’t a fan of musicals until now I wasn’t sure if you knew, haha_

_KevinStark: Now I wouldn’t say I’m a fan of_ all _musicals, (yet?) Still getting my feet wet:)_

_Blaine5point0: Haha fine, so which ones helped you turn the corner?_

_KevinStark:_ Hedwig and the Angry Inch _and_ Book of Mormon

_Blaine5point0: I’m dying to see Hedwig, how did you even get tickets?_

_KevinStark: My cousin runs a spotlight at the Belasco_

_Blaine5point0: It’s a shame you don’t love all musicals with that kind of connection! :0_

_KevinStark: Lily tried so hard to convert me, and I tried hard in high school and college to like them, I swear - it just seemed so silly. :} But Hedwig was so moving. And fun. I was so impressed by Neil Patrick Harris_

_Blaine5point0: He is such a role model for me._

_Blaine5point0: My parents and I went all the way to Chicago from Ohio to see Book of Mormon last year. That wasn’t too silly for you?_

_KevinStark: It was silly, but the silly had a purpose, that’s what impressed me. It had to be silly, to make the profane hilarious.  Man, don’t get me started on BoM, I’ll gush on until you’re sick of me_

_Blaine5point0: PLEASE do, I’ll meet you gush for gush. Fanboys have to stick together! :D_

 

Five minutes later, Blaine looked up when Sam came into the kitchen. “Hey,” he said quickly before he returned to his chat with Kevin.  

Sam passed by him, but his eyebrows raised at the sight of what was on Blaine’s laptop screen. “Don’t mind me…” he said, too casually, as he went to the refrigerator.  

“Thanks, I’m just in the middle of something…” Blaine said faintly as his fingers pounced on his keyboard. He  smiled brightly at a joke Kevin had just made about Andrew Rannells on _The New Normal._

Sam glanced at Blaine now again, brow furrowed, as he got out milk and cereal.  But when he started to pour the Captain Crunch out of the box, inspiration struck and he began to sing an old Motown song softly, just loud enough for Blaine to hear that he had altered some of the lyrics:

 

 _[To listen to what is in Sam’s head go to our_ [ _YouTube playlist_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKPd9GUadxc&list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh&index=109) _.]_

 _I know you wanna leave him,_  
_But please refuse to let him go,_  
_If I have to beg, plead for your sympathy,_ _  
_ I don't mind 'cause you mean that much to me.

Blaine sighed and ignored him.

 _Ain't too proud to beg and you know it,_  
_Please don't leave him,_  
_Don't you go,_  
_Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby,_  
_Please don't leave him, boy,_ _  
_ Don't you go.

Sam’s singing grew louder as he grew more passionate.

 _Now I've heard a cryin' man_  
_Is half a man with no sense of pride,_  
_But if I have to cry to keep you,_ _  
_ I don't mind weepin' if it gets you side by side.

Sam was now completely swept up in the music, belting out his feelings into the end of a wooden spoon and dancing around the kitchen. Blaine looked up at him with a concerned expression.

 _Ain't too proud to beg and you know it,_  
_Please don't leave it Blaine,_  
_Don't you go,_  
_Ain't too proud to plead, baby, baby,_  
_Please don't forget Bas,_ _  
_ Don't you go.

 _If I have to sleep on your doorstep all night and day_  
_Just to keep you from walking away,_  
_Let our friends laugh, even this I can stand,_ _  
_ 'cause I wanna keep you two how I can!

Blaine finally interrupted him.  “Sam?  I’m trying to focus here. And you’re going to that inappropriate place we talked about...”

 

_…_

 

The door opened and Sebastian stood there wearing a t-shirt, running shorts, and a rude smirk. He had one eyebrow raised and his arms crossed.  “We can’t fuck anymore and it’s your fault,” he said, only half-jokingly.

Marc looked slightly surprised for a moment, then he crossed his arms and calmly studied Sebastian’s body language and expression, which were equal parts sardonic, ambivalent, tense, and darkly humorous.  Marc’s lips curved upwards as he leaned down and picked up the copy of the _Wall Street Journal_ at Sebastian’s feet.  “Well, that’s too bad, you were the hottest thing in my bed in a long time.”  He leaned against the doorframe and added with a smirk, “Now why must we stop, exactly?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes and explained, his halting, unfiltered speech evidence of how comfortable he had gotten with Marc. “Because you got in my head...with all of your talk...so then in Santa Cruz, I...now I’m _dating…”_ he spat out in frustration.

“Cheekbones.  You’re dating Cheekbones now,” Marc finished for him, rolling the newspaper up. “Congratulations,” he said with sincerity and some faint regret.

Sebastian replied sarcastically, “Yes, congratulations to you, too - you just saved yourself a whole lot of sex with the hottest thing in your bed.”

“What _ever_ will I do?” Marc teased. He wasn’t going to say anything about it, but he suspected that Sebastian had woken up in a cold sweat about all this. “I’ll just have to join a monastery.”  

“I told you, don’t fucking fall in love with me…” Sebastian said with another smirk.  

Marc’s fond smile didn’t waver but he recognized the look in Sebastian’s eyes. Uncharted territory was not easy for a Type-A personality - he knew this from personal experience. He gave Sebastian a swat with the paper. “Seriously, I wish you and Cheekbones all the best,” he said in his easy way.

Sebastian looked into Marc’s blue eyes and suddenly felt a loss of...something. He had only planned on stopping by to “break up” with Marc, but now he was impulsively pushing his way into the apartment. He didn’t know exactly why.  

Marc closed the front door and chuckled lightly as he followed Sebastian to the kitchen.  “Do, come in,” he said with sarcastic good humor. He cocked his head to look at Sebastian’s sexy, long legs gracing the kitchen from behind the refrigerator door. “Make yourself at home,” he said, slapping his young lover’s ass before he went over to sit at his kitchen table.

Sebastian huffed but ignored him.  “You got me into this, you have to help me come up with a reason for not seeing him tonight,” he blurted out as he started to yank eggs, milk and fruit out of the refrigerator.    

Marc’s brow furrowed and he chuckled again.  “ _That_ was the world’s shortest honeymoon period.”

“Shut up,” Sebastian said, finding a bowl in the cabinet. “I just...this happened so fast, and if I don’t stop and get a grip, I’m liable to go and...do something...you know, get all ME on him.”

Marc tried not to laugh.  “You mean like...act all distant the way you do when you’re in a bad mood, then try to have aggressive sex to compensate? Cheekbones wouldn’t appreciate that as much as I do?”

Sebastian wouldn’t look at him as he cracked eggs a bit too violently.  “I don’t want him to appreciate that. He shouldn’t appreciate that - that’s not who he is. And if you knew anything about being someone’s boyfriend, _you_ wouldn’t appreciate that.”

Marc ignored the barb and smiled again, opening the paper.  He said in a matter-of-fact tone, “Hey, the fact that you know that? That’s a sign that you’ll make a fine boyfriend. It’s clear that you want to make the leap.”

Sebastian salted the eggs and added water. “What the hell does that stupid expression even mean? ‘Taking the leap,’ ‘a leap of faith,’ all of that?  There are a lot of nasty things you can land in if you take a blind leap.”

Marc turned a page of the paper.  “Since when are you against doing anything nasty? Especially in bed...” he joked.  Then he grew more serious again. “But getting back to the leap...in this case, it means that you want to stretch yourself, the way a long jumper does in a track meet.  You want to make the effort to get to the other side of your fear of commitment.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes as took out a whisk. “Stop making me a cliche.  I’m not afraid of commitment.”   He added, a little haughtily, “I’ll have you know I told Jay I love him already.”

Marc looked over at him, closing his newspaper and standing up to look at him with an almost grim expression. “You what now?”

“I told him I love him,” Sebastian repeated, turning around to see Marc’s face, crossing his arms with a challenging stare.

Marc’s studied him seriously for a moment, then broke into a chuckle. “I don’t know what I’m more surprised by, that you’ve already said the L word or that you’re cooking.” He went back to the table.

Sebastian returned to the stove and turned it on. He poured oil into the pan and said with characteristic bravado, “I’ve known him for almost a year, we’ve spent a lot of time together - it’s a no brainer. I love him.” He rushed on before the repercussions of the last sentence could sink in more. “I only make scrambled eggs. My au pair taught me when she found me trying to boil an egg, shell and all, in oil when I was eight. So don’t get excited, I’m not making you anything else. Probably ever.”

Marc’s lower lip protruded and he nodded his head, looking encouraged. “Well, color me impressed. You just went headfirst into danger, damn.”  He put his hands behind his head and leaned back, looking pleasant as he began to muse out loud. “This shouldn’t surprise me, actually.  You want to become an entrepreneur because you’re a man of action, after all.  You’re taking on a relationship just like any other enterprise. You’re going  after it, and tackling it head on - you’re facing your fear.  If you had a fear of needles, you’d step right up and get the shot. If you were scared of small spaces? You’d get yourself a Mini Cooper. In this case, you didn’t think you were any good at relationships, and you didn’t think anyone was good enough for Cheekbones.  Now you’re going to be the best damned boyfriend for him that there ever could be. Bravo, Legs.”

Sebastian, slightly perturbed, whisked the eggs rapidly and nodded his head slightly. Marc had pegged him so easily again. Blaine couldn’t be hurt again. But Jay was a clean slate, a second chance to be better. He could be better for someone who deserved it just as much as Blaine did. So while Jay had fallen asleep on his shoulder on the drive back from Santa Cruz, Sebastian had spent the two hours cataloging on his IPad every single thing he had done wrong with Blaine, and how he was going to address his skill deficiencies in each area . “Thank you for the ringing endorsement,” he said sarcastically as he pulled open the utensil drawer. The corner of his mouth was turning upwards, though. “As if you’re some kind of expert.”

 

Marc replied with a droll expression, “Hah, no, you getting relationship advice from me would be like the blind leading the blind.”

Sebastian finally chuckled with him at that, pouring and scraping the eggs in the pan. He turned around to lean on the counter and take in the gorgeous, warm sun that was Marc Michaels. It wasn’t that often that he ran across someone like this. Marc was so easy to be with, had so much in common with him. Sebastian actually respected and even admired him. He put his hands on his hips and glanced down for a beat, looking back up with quiet affection. For a brief moment, he wondered if he had made a huge mistake.

“Watch those eggs or they’ll burn,” Marc said humorously, looking like he had read Sebastian’s mind. He waved a dismissive hand and opened his newspaper again. “And when they’re done, call and see if you can get Cheekbones to come over for a threeway.”

Sebastian fired the spatula at him.

 

_..._

 

The more Blaine got to know Kevin, the more he wanted to tell Sebastian about it. It wouldn’t be an act of one upmanship, though.  Rachel and Tina would say that he was “winning” in the “Battle of the Exes” because he now had a possible love interest and Sebastian had merely a fuck buddy in the Marc person.  To be honest, little else made Blaine as annoyed than when she or Tina brought up anything resembling the topic. “I don’t want you to be on my side! Why do there have to be sides?!” he asked with irritation.  At least Harvey and Sam were on his side. Petey was on the fence...or maybe he just found Rachel highly amusing. So the Treehouse (their name for their house) was a house divided.

Blaine just wanted to tell Sebastian that he too had met a grad student, which had made him think of Sebastian’s Marc. That really was all. He just missed talking to Sebastian. He just wanted to tell him that he’d met Kevin, and to get a fun or snarky reply (likely both).

But Blaine wasn’t going to be the first one to call.  He could tell even through email how uncomfortable it was for Sebastian to tell him about Marc. And then the way Sebastian had literally run out of the virtual room when Blaine had bordered on the completely-inappropriate-for-exes territory… he definitely would wait for Sebastian to contact him first.  He wouldn’t risk putting Sebastian through any more than he already had.  

When Sebastian was ready, Blaine hoped he would start with an email or a text, though.  He wasn’t sure what else there would have been to say outside of the passing mention of Kevin. He didn’t want to know a whole lot more about the Marc person, after all.  And he wasn’t sure how much Sebastian would want to know about Kevin right now.  

But once he and Sebastian _did_ start talking again there would be so much to catch up on. Like the play Blaine was in rehearsals for, and what he and Tina’s predictions were for Harvey’s new boyfriend. Sebastian would have to be filled on Petey and his hilarious interactions with Rachel every time she Skyped, which was a lot, and on Blaine’s new workout regime. He and Sebastian had to discuss _Gotham_ and _Empire_ , because there was no doubt that Sebastian was watching both of those new shows. Blaine hoped that he would remember all the things he wanted to share. Maybe he might write down some notes, sort of a letter that he wouldn’t send. He could clean it up and actually send it once things were less awkward, or just look at it while they spoke.  That way he could tell Sebastian about all the times he had seen something that reminded him of him, of the times he had wanted to ask Sebastian’s advice or get his perspective, et .

 

_DRAFT_

_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: October 24, 2014_ _  
_ Subject: And Here’s What you Missed on The Blaine Anderson Show

_Dear Seb,_

_Now that we’re talking again, here is at last the really long letter that I’ve been writing to you for quite awhile.  I missed talking to you_ _~~, and even though I think we’ve both moved on from our romantic relationship I still love you - as a friend~~ _ _\- so I wrote down some things that made me think of you or that I just wanted to share with you during these months._ _~~I’ve missed you so much.~~   _ _It was just so weird not to have you part of my life, but it was of course necessary. I’m just glad we’re talking again and hope that we can get back to where we were in our friendship._

 

Blaine felt his heart swell with...something. He reminded himself again that there was probably always going to be a tiny bit of him that would think of Sebastian as The One Who Got Away, which must be why it hurt to think they would be moving backwards.

He reminded himself to be grateful that he had another ex who was willing to be friends at all. He needed to remember that having the Great Sebastian Smythe just a heartbeat away, writing family-friendly and even not-so-family friendly texts and emails, was better than most people got in their lifetime.

So he would take it. He was Blaine 5.0 - he didn’t need any man to complete him, and when he was ready, he could find love elsewhere.  In the meantime, he really wanted to learn to be okay with just friendship with Sebastian.  

_As I write this, it reminds me of our emails when I had just gotten to Scotland. Today I met someone on OKCupid that made me think of you. Kevin is a doctoral student at the business school. At first I thought he was getting his MBA, but he’s in it for the longer haul - he’s getting a Ph.D. in Marketing, which I thought you (and my dad) would find interesting. This also means he’s not much older than we are - only 23. His dissertation is studying some kind of marketing strategy in technology start-ups, so I bet you two would have a lot to geek out about. I can just hear you denying your geekdom in your most rakish voice (can a voice be rakish?) but nope, no dice.  The shoe fits ;)._

_On top of the entrepreneurial thing, Kevin is also a raving maniac about Book of Mormon, rivaling your fanboying about it last winter. So you two would also have that to talk about.  He’s spent his whole life not liking musicals, but with that and Hedwig, he’s on a roll and I’m all over him to not lose the momentum.  I won’t stop until we have another musical theatre convert, Captain Smythe! And if he becomes a professor some day he can spread the gospel from his lectern, hallelujah!_

_I may or may not be caffeinated within an inch of my life by an ice blended mocha Harvey and Tina blended up at home… I'm not sure they accounted for my height and weight when measuring out my portion vs. Sam's… :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D_

~~_Don’t laugh at me for trying online dating - I was gunshy at first but Tina and Rachel suggested that I do it to just dip my toe in the water. Honestly part of the reason I did it was to help make sure I had moved on completely from you. Hopefully you don’t take offense at that.  At the very least I thought I could make some friends - ‘seeking friends’ is an option you can check for OKCupid._ ~~

_Anyway, besides what you and Kevin have in common, I also wanted to write to you about how I’m approaching the whole dating thing.  I think you’d be proud of me.  Even a year ago (if you hadn’t been in the picture), right after I met someone like Kevin I_ _~~think I~~  _ _know I would have started getting excited, whirring with the possibilities of what it might be like to date him, to even have a forever with him._

 _But now I’m ready to take it just one day at a time, and_ ~~_given what happened with us,_~~ _I’m not going to make dating my end-all-be-all.  I’m going to literally prioritize things that are more important to me in my life right now.  So before I reply to a single chat message from him, I’m going to eat right, exercise, check in with my family, my housemates, Rachel, Harvey (a new good friend I met through Tina), Mercedes, Mike, Nick, Jeff, Wes, and go through my social media to stay in touch with people.  Before I let myself reply to anything from him I’m going to make sure my homework is done, I’ve researched and rehearsed for any auditions, and done any prep for the acapella group I joined._

_I’m setting good boundaries for myself offline, too. I’ve made it a rule that I’m not going to go out with anyone in my major - too much potential for drama. There are only about twenty of us in the program, and the vibe is definitely more like the Rachel/Santana/Mercedes era of New Directions, which means already I’ve heard people gossiping about each other._

_They’re not all bad, though.  One of the guys who asked me out, Brian, was funny and sweet in the way he accepted my turning him down._

_ _

_I figured you’d appreciate the visual, haha- that’s his headshot. Cute, right? And a nice guy, you’d like his singing - he’s got a Sinatra style but with a sweeter, grounded vibe._

_Another sign that I’m growing into Blaine 5.0 (ask Sam about that, have him do a video message for you lol) is that I’m not fixating on Brian like I might have a year ago. I’m at a new school in a new program, in a new city. That situation would be naturally anxiety inducing for anyone, and for me that anxiety could have been channeled into crushing on Brian like I did Sam in high school and probably you to a less-conscious extent. Sure there might be a bit of a crush on him (I know the signs - I perk up a little more when he speaks or performs in class, etc.), but I honestly can’t be bothered to focus on him much at all right now - I have too much else on my plate that is more important. I just let myself enjoy his charisma in classes, that’s all._

_Anyway, Brian teased me about my no-dating in-the-MT (Musical Theatre)-program rule._ _~~Not in the sexy, mysterious way you used to, but~~ _ _He said, “Don’t you think you’ll be asking for drama with your rule, what if you got a reputation for being uptight, with all your ‘Rules?’” But he couldn’t even keep a straight face while he said it, it was funny. He said said he was kidding because there is no way anyone would think I was uptight. He said how could I be uptight if I just had one rule? Then he said he hoped to wear me down, but he wasn’t obnoxious about it and just left me alone after that._

 _Ok, so it occurs to me that I've just spent a whole lot of column inches talking about boys. I'm talking about_ **not** _talking about them, does that count as progress? XD At least it hasn't been about any ONE boy? Baby steps? :D Seriously, I promise these emails are not going to be all about me obsessing about not obsessing about guys! :D_

 

_…_

 

“Feel Again” was pounding in Sebastian’s Bose earbuds as he sped through Stanford’s Bleeker and Loughlin Artists’ Studios. It was an uncannily appropriate anthem for his life right now. Much of the beginning of the song definitely referred to Blaine, so much so that it made Sebastian ache to hear them. But it was cathartic, in a way, to hurt for Blaine in this way, because the chorus was definitely about Jay.  He wasn’t sure that falling in love with another guy was the way to work through the grief of your break up of your first love, but he would take what he could get. At any rate, One Republic was also expressing his gratitude for this second chance

 _[Listen to_ [ _“Feel Again” on our YouTube Playlist._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk9G7OyKwLM&list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh&index=111) _]_

 

_It's been a long time coming since I've seen your face_

_I've been everywhere and back trying to replace_

_Everything that I broke till my feet went numb_

_Praying like a fool who just shot a gun_

_Heart still beating but it's not working_

_It's like a hundred thousand voices that just can't sing_

_I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing_

_Oh my heart is numb_

_But with you, I feel again_

_And with you, I can feel again_

_But with you (I'm feeling better since you know me)_

_I feel again (I was a lonely soul but that's the old me)_

_Yeah with you (I'm feeling better since you know me)_

_I can feel again (I was a lonely soul)_

_Woo hoo (Woo hoo)_

_I'm feeling better ever since you know me_

_I was a lonely soul but that's the old me_

_A little wiser now from what you showed me_

_Yeah, I feel again, feel again woo hoo_

 

It was also a good soundtrack for running, which he was having to do just now. He’d never been to this far southwest corner of campus, but it wasn’t too hard to figure out where he would find Jay from the building map out front. For last year’s study sessions Jay had always met Sebastian at a more centrally located library or campus eatery, but Sebastian had put an end to that now that he was Jay’s boyfriend. Every single day of this first week, he had made the time to pick Jay up a wherever he was on campus. Even if it meant having to practically sprint over today after his last class so they would make their dinner reservation at Evvia Estiatorio.  

Along a similar vein, Sebastian had not been satisfied to just text Jay to say he was waiting for him outside.  This is why he was dashing through the 8000 square feet of workspace: flying past the woodshop, the mold room (he wondered what the hell was in there - this wasn’t the microbiology building, after all), the metal shop, the welding room, the spray booth (hey, maybe the nude models needed to be tanned), the installation room, and finally the outdoor sculpture yard where he saw Jay working intently on a stone sculpture amongst a few other students.  

Sebastian strode up rapidly, only to stop when he realized he needed to not disrupt any genius burning. Jay looked up after a moment and Sebastian stepped forward, a bit out of breath, to kiss him swiftly.  “Take your time to finish, if you need,” he said, not waiting for a reply before he took off again.

As Sebastian sped back outside he realized that Jay couldn’t take too long - they would miss their reservation if he did. He bit his lip, torn.

Once he decided that Jay’s work was more important than a reservation at one of Palo Alto’s most posh restaurants, he pulled his phone out to call the family travel agent to ask her to book two other bistros, for a ½ hour and 1 hour later. Then he paced in front of the art studios, racking his brain to make sure there wasn’t anything else he needed to be doing for Jay. After a few moments he anxiously pulled his phone out to pound out a text to Rob:

_SEBASTIAN: Don’t forget Jay and I are in tonight, Karen said you guys wanted to switch bc her roommate’s out for some reason tonight?_

_ROB: You’ve known Belinda for a year, how do you not know her name? :)_

_SEBASTIAN: I couldn’t remember her name for the first couple of months, I figured why bother for the rest of the year. Don’t mess with me today, Robbie. I’m dead on my feet_

_ROB: How did all that relaxing and sleeping in Santa Cruz not refresh you? It seems like you’ve been tired all week_

_SEBASTIAN: I’m fine, today’s just been particularly clusterfucked. Todd forgot Rita was coming to clean Jay’s room and scared the crap out of her, so I had to apologize to her. That made me late to my meeting with Lisa and it was a domino effect from there. Then I had to drive over to pick up Jay in Kingdom Come here so we can make our dinner reservations. I swear the closest parking lot is in Yosemite._

_SEBASTIAN: Fml how did it get this complicated, it’s only week 4, midterms haven’t even really started yet_

_ROB: Hang in there bro.  If you and Jay need an extra night to unwind this weekend, Karen and I can hang with Belinda, it’s nbd_

_SEBASTIAN: It’s fine, I’m taking Jay to the Fairmont this weekend_

_ROB: Jay has the BEST boyfriend! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️_

_SEBASTIAN: I warned you, don’t start with me_

_ROB: I keep forgetting to ask, any thoughts on spring break this year?  I know it’s early, but Roger and I were talking about going whitewater rafting on the American  River and I guess sometimes it books up in advance with the best excursion companies?  You know Roger, he’s such a planner._

_SEBASTIAN: Pot. Kettle. Black. If you want to do that, you should go to the Noce River in Italy. Damn why do you guys have to go then? My spring break is going to be in Santa Fe with Jay and 400 of his turtlenecked homies watching 83 kinds of paint dry at an art conference thing. Between that and Orlando last year, it’s like I’m in a purgatory of nerdy spring breaks on loop_

_ROB: Maybe you can get out of it? I’m sure Jay would understand. It wouldn’t be half as fun if you aren’t there to one-up Thomas every other minute_

_SEBASTIAN: No, I want to go with Jay. I want to fuck him blind every night, unlike last year_

_ROB: I don’t think Jay becoming visually impaired is going to make your life any simpler_

_ROB: [unsent] What are you trying to prove?_

_SEBASTIAN: I gotta go, my travel agent is calling_

 

About ten minutes later, Jay emerged from the art building, looking smudged and tired. When he caught sight of Sebastian, however, his expression turned loving.

Sight of that beautiful face was all Sebastian needed. He felt the stress of the day start to dissolve.

Jay’s jacket had stone dust all over on it but he still looked sexy enough to make Sebastian want to push him up against the building and peel his layers off. He could have Jay for dinner, screw the reservations. He walked up to Jay quickly and took his backpack, slinging it over his own shoulder and putting his arms around his boyfriend. “Hello, Love,” he whispered before they kissed and embraced. He felt himself relax even further.

“Hey Babe…” Jay let out a little happy sigh. Sebastian was just a big hunk of love, and Jay felt so grateful for him.

Sebastian pressed his cheek on the soft tufts of Jay’s hair and his long arms enveloped him tightly. He too exhaled with relief and contentment. It felt so good to feel the press of Jay’s body and the tenderness of his touch, after such a hectic day.

“That was a big sigh. You okay?” Jay asked tenderly.  He rubbed his boyfriend’s lower back.

“I am now…” Sebastian replied, his eyes still closed. Jay just made everything better by existing.

When they finally loosened their embrace, Jay looked up at Sebastian searchingly. His hand came up to cradle his boyfriend’s face. “You look tired, Babe.”

Sebastian looked down at him fondly. “Thanks,” he said with sarcasm. “I better get some beauty sleep, so I can keep up with you, Cheekbones,” he said affectionately. He pushed a stray hair and some stone dust off of Jay’s forehead. “You look gorgeous even all covered in your mudpie mess. Now let’s get you out of this cold, it’s getting too late in the season for you just to wear this thing,” he said, fingering the thin sleeve of his boyfriend's jacket.  He put his arm around Jay’s waist and led them in the direction of the parking lot.  

Jay made the the effort to keep up with Sebastian’s long legs. “Ugh, I don’t feel gorgeous. I should’ve taken a break but I was on a roll so I just went at it nonstop and now I’m paying for it in pain.  My feet hurt and my neck messed up - I hardly felt it at all while I was working but now I do.”

Sebastian stopped and looked down at him worriedly. “Your feet hurt?  Want me to carry you?”

Jay had to chortle at that. “No, no, it’s not that bad.” Then it dawned on him that they were headed off campus. “Wait, where are we going?”

“You’ve never been there before - a place called Gary Danko’s. Getting reservations was a pain in the ass, but I thought you would like escaping The Farm for an evening, yes?”

Jay looked up, his eyes wider.  “Oh...you didn’t have to go to a lot of trouble…”

Sebastian looked down and shook his head as he increased their pace a bit. “Oh it wasn’t a pain in the ass for _me_. Remember my family’s travel agent does all the work and gives me options. We had reservations in town, but it’s so late now that we missed our window, so…”

Jay’s eyebrows raised as he interrupted, looking troubled. “Oh...Bas, you should have told me you had reservations, I could have finished sooner...”

Sebastian looked a little disappointed for a second but he replied briskly, “It’s okay, I didn’t want to rush you."

“Wait...it’s in the city?” Jay was surprised again at this sweeter side of Sebastian, the same boy who rushed him constantly before they started dating, but who was now being incredibly patient about Jay’s studio time.  
  
"It’s just as well, I’ve been wanting to go to Gary Danko’s and they had a last minute cancellation. It’s a French/American spot in North Point. It’s a little touristy around there but it’s not _in_ Ghiradelli Square, so it’s probably not too bad.  And apparently the quail is excellent,” he said, speeding up their walk even more.

Jay looked torn. The idea of driving 45 minutes into the hustle and bustle of San Francisco was not at all appealing at the moment.

Sebastian slowed them down when he registered Jay’s silence. His green eyes were searching. “Hey..do you not want... You don’t have to get quail...”

Jay looked uncomfortable. “I just...I’m sorry, it’s so nice that you...and Judy...went to all that trouble...but...when you said this morning that we could go get dinner after class, I thought we were just going to get something at Arrillaga,” he said, referring to one of Stanford’s more popular dining halls.  

Sebastian looked like he understood. He replied crisply as he sped up their pace again.  “Ohhh, don’t worry, I brought you a change of clothes in the car.”

Jay felt bad, but his feet were hurting again and he tugged on Sebastian’s arm to stop him. “No, it’s not that..well, it’s sort of that.”  He finally stopped them, a little breathless. Keeping up with Sebastian’s stride while Jay was so tired was like running alongside a car. “I’m so sorry, you’re being so sweet, but...I really don’t think I’m up for doing anything but getting food to-go on campus and eating it after a shower...”  

Sebastian looked uneasy as he looked down at him. “Oh. You’re sure? We could put your feet up on a chair in the restaurant and get a glass of wine, it would be more relaxing than you think…”

Jay shook his head gently. “I’m sorry, I feel so bad, you sound like you really want to go. You should still go - take Thomas or Karen, someone who can appreciate it. Or we can go whenever they have another reservation open?”

Sebastian stared at him for long moment and then groaned. _Fuck._ “We don’t have to go at all…” He hung his head, glancing away as it dawned on him, just how stupid he’d been already. They had only been dating for a week and he was already messing up. They had eaten at an upscale places every night, at Sebastian’s urging. He suddenly remembered how Jay, Thomas and Blaine had teased him in Napa about this. Sometimes Jay just wanted a burger.

Jay took one look at Sebastian’s sorry looking face and pulled him to sit down nearby. He put his arms around him looked up at Sebastian with concerned blue eyes. “Aw Babe,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry...I wish I hadn’t overdone it today, I wouldn’t be so tired.”

Sebastian shook his head, his hands coming around Jay to hold him close. “No, _I’m_ sorry. I forget that you don’t always like the kinds of places that I do.”  He glanced away again, thinking back on their dates all week. Jay had been seemed happy, but no, now that he stopped to think about it, Jay hadn’t been relaxed. Sebastian’s posture slumped a bit. “No wonder you’re so beat, you haven’t been able to really unwind a single night all week. I’m sorry to not notice.” He arched an eyebrow down and looked down at Jay. “Welcome to having me as a boyfriend. It’s a good thing I’m extraordinary in bed.”

Jay didn’t want to engage in sexy banter, as fun as it always was. He could see through Sebastian’s attempt to divert the conversation and he wanted to reassure him before they left the subject.  He shook his head. “Babe, please don’t beat yourself up over this. I’m just getting used to going out to such elegant places. It’s not like I haven’t enjoyed it…they’ve all been so beautiful, so delicious...and I’ve been learning so much.  I’m just...not up to it tonight.” He let out a little tired sigh and looked a little confused. It was true that their beautiful dinners all week had been lovely, but even Sebastian hadn’t been relaxed. This was different, as Sebastian was usually the most at ease at a five star restaurant, even more than Thomas, who also came from a wealthy family. But this week Sebastian had been almost jumpy.

He looked at Sebastian with pleading eyes. “You’re being a great boyfriend, they were all such romantic settings for a date! I really do appreciate that. I would have said no if I really didn’t want to go. I just knew how much you like those places and I wanted that for you. So don’t think I don’t want to go to Gary Danko’s, I really do...”

“Just not five nights in a row…” Sebastian finished for him, facepalming for a moment.

Jay moved to take Sebastian’s hand, lifting his face to cradle it. “Babe - it’s okay. It’s one night of six where you didn’t anticipate my every need. That’s an amazing record for only one week of dating!” He moved back to drop his hand from Sebastian’s cheek to his knee. He took a deep breath, wanting to find a way to explain things so Sebastian wouldn’t be so disheartened. “We’re in transition - it’s going to take some time for _both_ of us to get used to being with each other this way. I know you’re trying to getting used to all of _my_ weird quirks, too...”

Sebastian looked in Jay’s understanding eyes, listening closely. He was definitely falling harder for this boy.

Jay gave him a sympathetic smile. “It’s going to take awhile for us completely know how to read each other, to...communicate. We just have to be patient, and know that it’s okay if there are hiccups, if we slip and slide sometimes.”

Sebastian felt a wave of gratitude. Jay had a way of boiling things down in a very clear, soothing way. He took a deep breath and straightened his posture as he spoke up, looking humorous. “Hiccups...and slipping and sliding. So you’re saying that we’re going to be a clumsy pair for awhile.”

Jay nodded, looking adorable. “Like newborn colts.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Newborn colts on ice.”

Jay laughed. “You’re thinking of Bambi.” He gave him a warm smile as he stood up wearily and pulled Sebastian to his feet, too. “Newborn deer, then. Let’s slip and slide our way,” he said. “And maybe just get some pizza, then?”

Sebastian kissed him on the head as they continued to walk toward the car.  “Ok, but I draw the line at ordering that godforsaken wood fired stuff everyone is in love with. I would commit Bambi suicide if I had to eat that stuff - it’s like charcoaled plywood with ketchup on it.”

Jay chuckled and slipped his arm around Sebastian's waist.  “We really need to get some food into you, it is not ok to off Bambi.”

 

…

 

 _KevinGMartin_ :

[x](https://www.facebook.com/276710412383657/posts/1150172631704093)

_BlaineAnders_ : hahahhahahahahah it’s us!

_KevinGMartin: ikr?!? :D_

…

 

Jay had finally fallen asleep on the long, comfortable leather sofa in Sebastian and Rob’s suite, in front of _Madam Secretary_. He would have dozed off sooner, but Sebastian had kept jumping up to get things. Every time Jay tried to get up to help, Sebastian waved him down, saying he wanted to pick out a bottle of wine for himself, or that Jay didn’t know where anything was, or something else. Just when Jay thought they could settle in at last, Sebastian was off to the races again, first to get a luxurious throw for their laps, then to get a pair of his slippers that were far too big for Jay, and then for his IPad so he could order a new pair of slippers for Jay. It started to seem like Jay was dating a very tall pogo stick.

Then there was a lot of movement to get in an optimal position on the couch. First Sebastian moved down the couch so that Jay could put his feet on the couch instead of the ottoman. Jay felt tiredly bereft of the opportunity to cuddle, but he mostly just wanted Sebastian to stop moving so they could relax at last - so he didn’t complain. But then Sebastian moved closer again, to put Jay’s feet on this lap.

FINALLY, at long last, they ate their dinner and were drawn into the intrigue of Elizabeth McCord and the State Department. It was heaven, and after a few minutes Jay wasn’t really hearing what they were saying on the television. He was just enjoying, through a haze of sleepiness, how sweet Elizabeth and her really cute husband Henry were.

“AH!” Jay was woken from a edging on heavy sleep about ten minutes later.  He curled his legs up with jolt, blinking and grunting in alarm.

Sebastian’s eyes were wide. “Oh, sorry.  I didn’t know you fell asleep.  I was just…giving you a foot rub...”

Jay looked at him through half closed eyes sleepy and scowling. “Oh my god,” he said grumpily.

Sebastian gritted his teeth at him. “Sorry. Bambi moment,” he said, wrinkling his nose in apology.

He was lucky he was so cute. Jay sighed, moving to Sebastian’s side of couch sit on his lap.“I guess I have to crush you to get you sit still and rest,” he said fondly as he lay back against his boyfriend’s broad chest.

Sebastian made room for him and wrapped his arms around Jay, entangling their legs too as he kissed him on the cheek. “What if I crush you…” he said in a sweetly seductive voice, dragging a hand up Jay’s toned abs.

Jay closed his eyes and let Sebastian’s hands roam over his chest. “Then there’ll be no rest for the wicked,” he murmured, smiling in spite of himself.

 

_…_

 

Blaine was standing waiting for his coffee order at LuValle commons, the closest campus coffee house to his Theater 12 ( _Introduction to Performance)_ classroom. His head was bowed as he looked over the paper in his hand with steady concentration.  This was such a unique assignment for him - a dramatic interpretation of a love poem.  He was used to playing a role, or singing a song, but to recite a poem was something he hadn’t done since...middle school? It had been fun though, picking out a piece and writing an essay about it, and using that critical analysis to inform his performance. All the same, he was glad that his schedule allowed him to arrive early so he could get into the right headspace before the distractions of the class session began.

He was finishing up his final reread when he saw out of the corner of his eye that someone had moved to stand next to him. He glanced up to meet the very blue eyes of Brian Tucker. “Hey Brian,” he said with friendly smile. His classmate had a paper in his hand, probably his poem, too.  But he looked different than usual.  He had tamed his wavy hair more, a change from its usual tousled look.

“Hey,” Brian asked a little absently, staring at his paper.

Blaine studied him for a second. Brian was the most easy, relaxed person in his musical theater program.  He was just as confident as Petey, but he was more calm.  Maybe it was because of his Indiana roots. He reminded Blaine of Prince Eric, from Disney’s _The Little Mermaid_. Bur today he seemed off. Blaine decided not to pry, though. “You ready for open mic night in class today?” he asked casually.

“No,” Brian said with an appealing honesty. “I left my paper until too late, and I’m not sure how this is going to come off.” He opened his jacket to show a fitted, button-down shirt that was a contrast from his more casual looks.

This shirt better highlighted a pretty muscular torso, which Blaine certainly appreciated, but he didn’t think Brian looked very comfortable in this more dressed up look. Few outside his Dalton circle did, Blaine reflected. Sebastian was actually _more_ comfortable in a dress shirt or at least a fitted button down, than he was in a t-shirt. Of course he was _most_ comfortable shirtless. Blaine had to smile to himself at the thought.

Brian fiddled with his collar. “I’m not even sure if this ‘costume’ is right.”

Blaine looked sympathetic. “What are you doing?”

“A song by The Drifters,” Brian replied, looking uncertain.

Blaine looked at him with some puzzlement.

Brian started rattling on, which was odd for him - maybe that meant  he was pretty nervous. “I did a song by Pomus and Shuman - they wrote it for The Drifters, a doowop group. My dad introduced me to them, they wrote over 500 songs in seven years, the most famous ones for The Drifters and Elvis.”

Blaine’s eyes widened a little bit. Songs were technically poems, but he was pretty sure that none of their other classmates had chosen a song to recite. He wondered how Brian would change the rhythm, articulation, and so many other aspects. How would he separate the music from the lyrics? Blaine wasn’t sure what to say. “Oh…yes, of course I know The Drifters, they’re great…but I never knew...who wrote for them,” he said kindly.

Brian, hearing his hesitation, gritted his teeth as he interrupted him. “Oh god, it WAS a bad idea,” he said with a slightly pained expression.  

Blaine shook his head vigorously, saying supportively, “No, no, no. I’m sorry, I was just surprised,” he turned in his seat to face Brian more fully. “In a good way. It’s just such a creative approach to the assignment.”  He leaned back and looked at Brian more critically.  “That’s why you look a little more dapper today, then, I get it. You look good!”

Brian looked uncertain. “Really?” He tugged at his collar. “I haven’t worn this shirt in forever, I don’t think it even fits that well anymore.”

“Let me see, take off your jacket,” Blaine said briskly. He took his coffee from the barista and then stepped back to look at the shirt more closely. “It fits fine, that’s the cut of the shirt, it’s supposed to be fitted.”

Brian looked at him and arched an eyebrow, sounding like the leader that he was in many aspects of life, “Yeah? You’re not just being nice? You can tell it to me straight - please, don’t hold back.”

Blaine looked up again and nodded gravely. “I’m not just being nice,” he said, continuing in a gentle tone he hadn’t used since he gave Kurt feedback on _Don’t Cry for Me Argentina._ “But - and I hope this doesn’t sound condescending - you need to feel comfortable in your look for any performance - we haven’t covered that in enough detail yet. If you’re more comfortable with a button unbuttoned, unbutton it…” he gestured for Brian to unbotton it.

Brian unbuttoned it, but still looked uneasy. “Now I just look like my dad.”

Blaine chuckled. “You look fine. I get that you’re going for a classic 50’s or 60’s feel, but you’re _interpreting_ the song. If there’s a more formal element, your costume and hair can reflect that, but you don’t have to take on their appearance too literally. I’m sure the Drifters loosened their collars sometimes?”

“Yeah, but they still had a tie on, and I don’t have a tie…” Brian said, a little grumpily.  He wasn’t used to being at a loss for, well, anything. “Shoot, I should have worn a tie. I don’t think I should loosen my collar anymore, then. This thing is already more casual than The Drifters or Michael Bublé.”

Blaine knew without checking the time that there wasn’t time to argue he wanted to help Brian relax. The Bublé mention made him also want to know the name of the song, but he didn’t want to get them sidetracked.  He twisted his mouth one side and crossed his arms, thinking quickly. “Well...then we should at least loosen up your hair, you’ll feel more comfortable then, no? You like it kind of wild, right?”

When he heard himself Blaine blushed, and Brian let out a chuckle at unintentional innuendo coming from Blaine Anderson, who was always so put together. Even his ripped jeans were perfectly ripped.

Brian finally felt himself relax a little. It dawned on him that he was letting himself take this one assignment way too seriously. His brother had warned him about what it might be like at a big school like UCLA, in a program that had been so competitive to get into. He smiled broadly and unbuttoned the 2nd button on his shirt, reaching up to ruffle up his own hair into a legitimate mess. “Blaine Anderson, so inappropriate...” he said with his winning smile. “You will have to buy me dinner before learning of my preferences in the bedroom...”

Once again, Brian succeeded in making an incredibly cliche, terrible line sound funny and adorable. He put his jacket back on and took his coffee from the counter while Blaine laughed and blushed, ducking his head and glad that Brian didn’t look so stressed out anymore. “No, the question is, can you sync up a more casual look to what is casual in the song...er poem you’re doing.”

Brian shrugged, suddenly not caring as much, which turned out to be the best thing to prepare him for his performance. “I’ll make it work,” he said taking a sip of coffee as they started to walk to class. He was now looking more like the boy Blaine was accustomed to seeing. “Now what are _you_ doing? Let me guess, Shakespeare,” he said, gesturing at the essay in Blaine’s hand and giving him a knowing smile.  

“Pablo Neruda,” Blaine said, looking a bit elfin. “I like to keep you guys on your toes.” His love for The Bard was already known amongst his musical theatre classmates, so it was fun to surprise them with this different choice. Especially Brian, because his soft amusement was always so attractive on him.

Brian smiled. “Ah, but all the straight-up theatre majors don’t know, do they? Or am I getting all these class discussions mixed up?” The other class he and Blaine had together was part of the Musical Theater sequence, while the one they were in now included all kinds of theater students.

Blaine conceded, his lower lip protruding slightly as he shifted his backpack on his shoulder. “No, I suppose I haven’t brought him up quite as much to them...but when I get up to the front to perform I’ll be looking for you MT goofballs making faces at me for not giving you one of Bill’s sonnets. Withstanding hecklers is an important skill to develop, after all.” His smile was like sunshine.

Brian gave him a mischievous look. “Well we wouldn’t heckle you as much if you’d let us date you.”

Blaine chuckled and ducked his head, shaking it a bit. “You never let up…”

Brian shrugged and smiled warmly at him. “You don’t get into UCLA by backing down from a challenge. And I still think you just might be worth waiting for...”

Blaine smiled and blushed lightly. It was another unabashedly corny line, but Brian said it in such an easy and honest way that again, it didn’t sound silly. Blaine looked up at him with good humor. “There are plenty of cute guys on campus for you…”

Brian once again amiably relented, changing the subject - slightly. “So is your no-dating-in the program-rule for to _all_ Theater students?  Or just MT students?”

Blaine smiled softly and glanced sideways at him. “I hadn’t thought about it.”

Brian rolled his eyes but he said playfully, “I can read between the lines - I can see that it _isn’t_. The only MT guys in this class are Jordan, who’s practically married; Gus, who’s dating that girl Kristen; and Sandy, who is so deep into his avant garde whatever that there is no way you could be interested in him. All the cuter guys from MT aren’t here. Which means you will literally date everyone in this class before you date me,” he said with an adorable pout.  

They had arrived into the hubbub of their classroom. The professor was already addressing them. As they sat down, Brian whispered, “When I’m up there later, think about how perfect the song is for you and me…”

Blaine smiled at him, slightly puzzled. But he was pleased that the little coaching he had done had been taken to heart. He hoped Brian’s gamble would pay off. Reciting song lyrics was such a bold choice.

 

…

 

Blaine gave Brian an encouraging look as he went to the front of the class. He was one of the last performers called, and he looked like he had his game face on as he passed out copies of his song to everyone. There were whispers, giggling and the usual fidgeting that happened towards the end of most classes. One student didn't bother to stifle a yawn. It had been a long 40 minutes or so of poem after poem, punctuated only occasionally with a minute or two of not always stimulating questions and discussion.

Brian, however, surprised them perching his phone on the top of the lectern and tapping it. A musical accompaniment blared out and jolted everyone with its energetic sound.  Brian gave the room a charming smile, and _sang_ out the opening bars with the verve that had gotten him admitted to UCLA. Blaine’s mouth dropped open with surprise. This was even bolder than he had anticipated. But it wasn’t long before he and the rest of the class were swept up in the performance:

[Listen to  [ “Save the Last Dance for Me,” by Michael Buble, on our YouTube playlist ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sZFxN1tcSo&index=112&list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh).]

_You can dance-every dance with the guy_

_Who gives you the eye, and let him hold you tight_

_You can smile-every smile for the man_

_Who held your hand neath the pale moonlight_

 

_But don't forget who's takin' you home_

_And in whose arms you're gonna be_

_So darlin' save the last dance for me_

 

_Oh I know, that the music’s fine_

_Like sparklin' wine, go and have your fun_

_Laugh and sing, but while we're apart_

_Don't give your heart to anyone_

 

_And don't forget who's takin' you home_

_And in whose arms you're gonna be_

_So darlin' save the last dance for me_

 

Brian came up the aisle to Blaine and serenaded him, his eyes twinkling.  Blaine blushed and swayed along with the music.

 

_Baby don't you know I love you so_

_Can't you feel it when we touch_

_I will never never let you go_

_I love you oh so much_

 

_You can dance, go and carry on_

_Till the night is gone_

_And it's time to go_

_If he asks if you're all alone_

 

_Can he walk you home, you must tell him no_

_'Cause don't forget who's taking you home_

_And in whose arms you're gonna be_

_So darling, save the last dance for me_

 

…

 

When the song was over most of the class laughed and clapped. Blaine was beaming, and Sam would have said he had “heart eyes.” The professor gave Brian a Mona Lisa smile. “That was...an interesting choice.”

Brian replied respectfully, “Well...the assignment was a dramatic interpretation, not necessarily a dramatic reading, right?”

Blaine held his breath while the class waited for an answer.  There was no rustling going on, now.

Professor Washington still looked serious, but not unkind.  “You took a risk, which is not necessarily a bad thing. More important is how well you executed the assignment.  “What do you all think?” she said, turning to the rest of the room.

A girl in the front row raised her hand and said a little haughtily, “I don’t consider ‘ _Oh I know, that the music’s fine / Like sparklin' wine,_ ’ good poetry.”

Blaine raised his hand, and the professor nodded at him.  “I don’t think the assignment was as much about the poem selection, as it was about the interpretation? Even so, I didn’t mind the song choice...but I suppose that depends on your definition of good? Shakespeare wrote for the masses, and while the lyrics might not be the most...pithy...I think the light, carefree interpretation would connect to the masses as well as Shakespeare did to his contemporaries.” He gestured to Brian. “He made it look easy, but it wasn’t, there are a lot of nuances to the performance that collectively made everyone here feel connected to him.”

“You did NOT just compare Michael Buble to Shakespeare,” a condescending student said with condescension, not even bothering to raise his hand.

Brian cut in. “Buble didn't write it, Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman did, and both of them were inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame many years after their peak,.” He gave Blaine a meaningful glance. “Shakespeare wasn’t as worshipped in his time as he is now,” he added, thinking his high school English teacher would be happy to hear this.

The professor nodded, looking glad that her students were engaging in the most lively discussion she’d seen all day. “True, old Bill was received as a good writer, but as one of many other good writers. But getting back to what Blaine brought up, Brian can you tell us about what your thoughts were when considering your audience?”

 

_…_

 

“He said what?” Pauline asked, her brow furrowed.  

“He said that it’s hard for him to really understand the family dynamic as an outsider, and suggested I talk to my cousin.”  Jay shook his head in amazement at his best friend, his eyes wide.  “It was the weirdest thing _…_ ”

Pauline looked skeptical as she leaned back on her hands on her bed. “He must have hit his head on something.  Sebastian Smythe has an opinion on EVERYTHING.”

Jay was sitting cross-legged on the chair across from her. He nodded. “I know, right?  He’s the most judgmental person I’ve ever met and is always completely shameless about it. It’s a defense mechanism.” He glanced past Pauline to consider that, before he snapped back to his original line of thought. “Anyway, I pushed him about it, but he just kept saying that he was sure me and my dad could work it out, and that he didn’t want to judge my relationship with my family, and then he finally just got up and asked me if I wanted some tea.”

Pauline’s head jerked back. “Tea?  Since when does he drink tea? The only thing more certain than Seb being judgy is Seb drinking coffee and courvosawhatever...”

Jay nodded again.  “Yeah I don’t know when he started drinking it, but it’s kind of freaking me out!” He laughed at himself, and then looked thoughtful.  “Karen drinks it, maybe when they kind of lived together this summer she got him into it.”

Pauline nodded, but she looked distracted, before it was her turn to look thoughtful. “So, now that week one of dating him is over.  Do you still think he’s really over his old boyfriend? I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Yes, definitely,” Jay said, moving over to sit next to her on the bed. “Don’t worry about me,” he said earnestly. “I told you, I thought long and hard about it the night we first kissed and I decided he was over Blaine. Even Rob and Karen think so. Plus, I’m going into this with my eyes wide open. I don’t think he’s pining for Blaine, but I do wonder how ready he is to be in a relationship w _ith anyone._ All I know is that I believe that he loves me, and that I love him too. And that we’re really starting on solid footing, ‘cause we were friends first. I have no idea what’s going to happen, but I’m okay with that. Even if it doesn’t work out, we have both said that we’re committed to staying friends. And if it does work out, it will be worth all the effort it is going to take to make it work. I know he can be moody, he acts too cocky and he’s too judgmental, but there’s a lot more beautiful there to make up for it.”

Pauline kept a neutral expression as her best friend spoke, but she wondered how long Jay had been formulating that speech in his head. She didn’t want to say anything yet though, so she just teased, “The wall pounding sex doesn’t hurt, either. Like LITERALLY wall pounding...”

Jay blushed and raised his eyebrows, “What? You can…?” He of course knew Pauline lived next door to Sebastian, but he hadn’t thought about what wall was against Sebastian’s bedroom wall...

“Well I haven’t actually heard _you_ pound...against... the wall,” Pauline replied with an awkwardly humorous expression. “The headboard and the bedframe, on the other hand…” she added with a mischievous smile, jerking her thumb behind her.  

As if on cue, they heard a pounding. Sebastian was back from his workout. When Jay opened the door, Sebastian looked up from his phone and gave him the killer smile that made Jay forget how baffling he had found him just a minute ago. Everything just made sense when Sebastian Smythe looked at you like that. “Hi,” Jay said affectionately, going up on the balls of his feet for a sweet kiss.

Sebastian was buzzing with good energy, as he usually was right after the gym. There was nothing like a workout to clear his busy mind out. He swept an arm around Jay as he kissed him back. “Hi, Love.” He smiled as he looked from Jay to Pauline. “He’s blushing! Dollface, what’d you do to mortify him?”

Pauline beamed at him from across the room. He really was so adorable with Jay. “Just told him that I can hear your bed pounding up on my wall when I’m out here watching The Voice. It’s like gay porn radio starring your bestie,” she said chuckling as she started moving to her small work table. “Oh if my mother could hear me now. Wednesday night I thought you guys were going to come through the wall.”

Sebastian grinned. “Ah, that was when we…”

“When we watched a movie,” Jay cut in, with a mild reprimanding glance. “No kissing and telling, remember?”

“Oh come on, like you don’t tell Paulie Pocket everything already.” Sebastian started nuzzling Jay’s neck. “Mmmm, let’s give her the visuals,” he said devilishly before he let Jay struggle away from him.

“We’re moving your bed to another wall,” Jay said. He didn’t even bother to address Sebastian’s exhibitionist kink. “Did you hear that, Pauls?” He said, turning around. “We’re gonna move the bed, sorry! And we have to go, we have to de-stink Bas!”

“Bye!” Pauline called from her studies, waving a hand.

Jay closed the door behind them.  “Why aren’t you showered yet? You cut in on my Pauline-time.”

Sebastian pulled out his key and gave pistoned his hips a little as he opened his door. “I realized that you can shower _with_ me,” he said, waggling his eyebrows. “Rob-o!” he called as they entered, but they were met with silence. He turned around and put his arms around Jay. “Nice,” he said with a sexy smirk of his own. “No one to hear any of our pounding of the walls.”

Jay grinned at him. “As hot as that sounds, that will take too long. We can’t be late for rehearsal, you’re the Captain,” he said, swatting at Sebastian’s ass.

“Co-Captain,” Sebastian said, putting his hands on Jay’s waist. “Lisa can deal without me if we’re late. Would be totally worth it,” he said saucily, snaking around to palm Jay’s cock.

“You should be illegal,” Jay said appreciatively. He put his arms around Sebastian’s neck and leaned up to kiss him again, this time more deeply and much hotter.

Sebastian responded in kind, grinding his hips against Jay’s. It felt like everything he needed for everything that had ever gone wrong in his life.

When they came up for air Jay let out a little groan and gently pushed Sebastian away. “Really though, you should shower. If we come together late, I look bad too, you know. I don’t want to be the Yoko Ono of Mixed Company.”

Sebastian had to chuckle at that as he reluctantly headed towards the bath. He stripped off his shirt as he walked, flexing his muscles, swinging his hips and feeling good. He gestured with a long arm. “At least come in and watch,” he said playfully.  

Jay followed, looking admiringly after him. “Fine, but if it gets too tempting in there I’m going to have to leave,” he said with a fond smile.

Sebastian turned the water on and started stripping his shorts and boxer briefs off. His train of thought returned to what Jay had said a moment ago. “If anyone in MC has a problem with you, they’ll have to answer to me,” he said, preening a bit in the mirror at his own body.

Jay appreciated the view and smiled as he hopped up on the large hamper. Sebastian could be so alpha-male, but it wasn’t always unwelcome. It was a cozy feeling to have a boyfriend who was so protective. “That’s adorably neanderthal of you, but no thanks - I can take care of myself. It’s hard to blame them though. I’m not a very good singer, so they probably are all wondering if I should be in there as it is.”

Sebastian’s brow furrowed. “Who says? You’re more talented than half of the wannabes in there. And Shannon and Greg made you audition last year before we started dating.” He opened the shower door and stepped in, but then thought better of it and leaned out of it to kiss Jay again. “Seriously, if you get that bullshit from anyone, tell me. I’ll talk to them. Or if you don’t trust me not to rip their heads off, I’ll have Lisa talk to them. Jesus, it’s not like we’ve been giving you solos…”

Jay waved him back into the shower. “Okay, okay, it’s just like a couple of people and I could be reading too much into it. But better safe than sorry, let’s be on time…”

“It’s Nate isn’t it?” But Sebastian was distracted by the feeling of the hot water.  He let out a sexy groan as he stretched out his neck and massaged his scalp under the hot water. Steam quickly floated upwards as his body grew slick. “Damn, this feel so good…”

Jay smiled faintly and pulled his phone out to check the time. “Enjoy, we have 10 minutes…” he said indulgently.

Sebastian lathered up and took a few deep breaths to take in the subtle scent of the French perfumes in his shampoo. “Still think you should come in here…”

“And _I_ still know we would take longer than 10 minutes…” Jay said absently, scrolling through his phone. An email appeared as he did, from his father. He read it through and looked touched. Quickly writing a reply, he spoke up with relief. “My dad just emailed. He apologized. I’m going to call him after rehearsal.”

“Excellent,” Sebastian said, his tone neutral. “See, I told you it would all work out.”

Jay paused, and grew thoughtful. “Bas?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you tell me why you don’t want to judge my relationship with my family? I really value your opinion, and I’d really like to hear what you think when stuff like this comes up.”

There was a long silence, the hot water pouring down the only sound as Sebastian washed his face. He finally spoke up. “Families are...just...tricky. I’d just rather not get too involved. I don’t think I have... much to offer…I mean...much experience with, you know, families like yours. What I think probably would only muddle you up more.”

Jay’s face was sympathetic. After many study sessions, coffees, and other excursions over the past year, he knew how much of a loss Sebastian felt when it came to matters of family, so this all made sense. “I don’t think you have to come from a particularly healthy family to recognize right from wrong, or to know what should happen.”

Sebastian didn’t have an answer to that.

Jay looked compassionate, but decided not to push for agreement. “Also, you used to have an opinion on my family, before we started dating...why not anymore? Did something happen?”

Sebastian stood very still, letting another silence stretch out. Jay was always more perceptive when it came to this sort of thing than he ever was. He appreciated that, even if it was uncomfortable at times. The water was soothing, though, and he finally spoke up gravely. “One of the things that I regret, about how I handled things with Blaine, is that I used his family against him when I wanted to hurt him - when we fought. It was below the belt - fucking shitty - and I’ll never be able to take back what it did to him.” He paused before his voice grew more urgent. “I’m not gonna give myself any ammunition against you, on the chance I can’t control myself again.” He grew silent, feeling a little less burdened. Then he began to wonder if he had just given Jay a reason to dump him. He regretted saying anything.

Jay opened the shower door with a tender expression. Sebastian looked over his shoulder at him, his green eyes a little vulnerable. Jay spoke earnestly. “I’m so sorry that you went through that. But you know what? I KNOW you wouldn’t make the same mistake twice, so I don’t want you to worry about that. And even if you did, I would forgive you. We all say things we regret in anger. What’s more important is that you own your mistakes more than _anyone else_ I know.” He gave Sebastian a small smile and joked, “There are plenty of reasons to not want to get involved my family, but that shouldn’t be one of them.”

Sebastian’s eyes were still a little uncertain and he stood quite still, taking in what Jay was saying. Jay didn’t understand just how vicious he had been to Blaine about his family, though - he didn’t know how deeply lonely Blaine had been as a child, all the way until he had started at Dalton. Jay had no real comprehension, and Sebastian wasn’t about to tell him.

Jay decided to just step into the shower, clothes and all. He nudged Sebastian around to face him as he put his arms around him. He looked up with blue eyes that looked like pools Sebastian could swim in, beads of water splashing on his beautiful face. “I love you _so_ much.”

Sebastian broke into a half smile. “I love you, too, you idiot,” he said, fondly, tugging at Jay’s now soaked hoodie. One arm was tight around Jay’s waist while he kissed the top of Jay’s now wet forehead. “Or should I say, Yoko?”

 

...

 

 _To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: October 25, 2014_ _  
_ Subject:

_OMG DID YOU SEE THE REPLAY OF THE COLORADO GAME?!  THE BRUINS IN DOUBLE OVERTIME I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A HEARTATTACK!  THAT HOLE HUNDLEY RAN THROUGH WAS BIG ENOUGH TO FIT ALL THE WARBLERS TOGETHER IN IT I COUnmLD NOT BELIEVE I CAN’T EVEN THIS SO FUN BEING A BRUIN YAYYY_

 

Haha few hours later I’m looking at the above and thinking that I should delete that or at least fix all the type-os, but then I thought you’d find it funnier if I didn’t.  So you’re welcome for the chuckle. :)  I may or may not have been a little amped on soda.  But still, Go Bruins!  This is going to be fun, our schools up against each other in the Pac-10! I don’t get the whole Stanford thing, your mascot is a color?  Or is it the tree?

Watching the spectacle from the stands has made me glad I didn’t go to the trouble of coming back from Scotland last spring to try out for the UCLA Cheer Squad. I knew tryouts would be nearly impossible with Grease rehearsals, and that I’d want to settle into my major program.  Now that I have a feel for my workload, I see it was definitely the right call.  It would have been too overwhelming to dedicate the energy it would take   ~~(particularly after our break up)~~ and balance the time commitment.  I have a newfound respect for how you’ve learned to balance school, especially with your dad’s expectations, and lacrosse, show choir, tutoring, and triathlon training. ~~I don’t have to be dating you to still be your biggest fan.~~

 

_…_

 

Rob was in Sebastian’s doorway. “The weekend of the 9th...you don’t have anything going on, right?  Let’s let Sam out of the penalty box.”

Sebastian was staring out the window, and he didn’t reply. He was exhausted, spacing out, and, technically speaking, literally waiting for the other shoe to drop with Jay. _And_ (not a small “and”) he had no idea what he was going to do about Blaine.

“Seb?” Rob said, looking a little concerned.

Sebastian turned in his chair, his green eyes a little vacant. “Huh?”

Rob’s looked puzzled as he stepped into the room slowly.  “Why are you so spooked?”

Sebastian took a deep breath, avoiding Rob’s searching  glance. He stood up quickly, slammed his laptop shut, and walked over to his closet. He rolled his eyes as he yanked the closet open.  “It’s nothing, just midterm crap,” he lied. He pulled out his Burberry military jacket, which thankfully provided a welcome change of subject. He turned around, a smirk on his face. “Karen told me she wants to do a couple’s costume with you...she wants you to be a World War II soldier so she can be a USO girl?  Don’t do it, keep your balls for as long as you can…”

Rob leaned on Sebastian’s dresser, not choosing to dig for whatever Sebastian was hiding. It was good to have the  freewheeling version of his roommate back again, so he wasn’t going to rock the boat unless absolutely necessary. He wouldn’t engage in Sebastian’s baiting, either.  “We’ll see,” he said vaguely. “I was saying, Sam and I were talking about when he could come visit.  The 9th of November, in two weeks? You good with that? I didn’t see anything in your calendar.”

Sebastian took a beat to consider this as he put on his jacket. He looked a little cynical, but he looked at Rob behind him via the full length mirror to reply with a shrug. “Yeah, that’s fine. But I can’t be held accountable for my actions if he kidnaps Blaine and brings him along with a picture of my face forcibly tattooed on him.”  He reached back into his closet for his shoes.

Rob gave him a patient look. “Come on, give him a little more credit than that, he wouldn’t pull a stunt like that again.  He asked me like ten times about if I thought you’d want to see him and if you’d forgiven him yet.”

Sebastian pictured Sam’s most woebegone expression as he went to sit on his bed to slip on his shoes. “Jesus, he can be such a girl.  If he wants to be forgiven, he should come up here and face me like a man.”

“Wait, _have_ you forgiven him?”  Rob was now wondering if he should tell Sam that Sebastian had a lacrosse tournament and that they should wait until Winter quarter.

Sebastian walked out to the living room and took his keys from the hook by the door.  “Yeah, sure. Just tell him to come, Robbie, whatever,” he said, a trifle brusquely. He left quickly, his mind whirring in a negative direction. Sam was coming...how the hell would that go? But as he headed to his car to go pick up Jay, he realized that this could begin to address his Blaine problem. Sam could help him decide if he needed to tell Blaine about Jay. Did he owe it to him? Would Blaine even care? He cringed a little at the thought. This way, he could get a download from Sam about how Blaine was doing, and decide then.

 

...  
  
_To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: October 26, 2014_ _  
_ Subject: Halloween

_Sam was driving me crazy, but also making me laugh with his love for you.  I don’t think I ever told you this, but last Halloween when we were in Scotland he was complaining about my Mr. Howell costume not being slutty enough. He wanted me to wear something more flirty to help me move on from Kurt, etc. etc. etc.  He went on and on and on about how I have to dress man-slutty because I’m gay, how that it’s part of the “Halloween doctrine” - lol I bet you miss Sam-isms._

_Fast-forward to this morning, when I dug out my “Roar” costume from Mr. Schuester‘s Katy v. Gaga week. I thought I might recycle it to be George of the Jungle or Tarzan. Sam said it needs to be thrown out, because “it looks so ragged.”  I told him that it was supposed to look ragged, and I’ve only worn it once. Then he starts circling me, yanking at it and muttering, until he actually ripped it “accidentally” really badly. He said it’s just as well because I shouldn’t recycle a costume - that it’s unAmerican, or something like that._

_Then I got on the internet for ideas and it got ridiculous. Now that I have a little distance on it, I see that it was also actually kind of funny. I know you would have been on my side lol:_

_Me: Maybe a Pirate..._

_Sam: That could work...if you’re Captain Hook_

_Me: I was thinking Jack Sparrow...you know, with the guyliner!_

_Sam: No, no, no.  Has to be Captain Hook.  Jack Sparrow is soooo 2003.  He’s old news!_

_Me: But...Captain Hook is from the 1950’s..._

_Sam: Steve Jobs!  How about Steve Jobs! He’s an icon..._

_Me: [puzzled, because Steve Jobs was not on the costume idea blog we were going through] What would that be...I would just be in, what, a black turtleneck? I don’t think people would know who I am. If you want to be an icon, maybe we can talk Joey and Harvey into being the Village People with us, I’ve always wanted to do that. They all had fun costumes!  The short-shorts on the policeman were so cute..._

_Sam: NO. If you want to be a gay icon, how about Elton John!_

_Me: That’s what I was our senior year, what happened to not recycling costumes?_

_Sam: But that one was so good!_

_Me: How about Aladdin or the Genie..._

_Sam: NO._

_I was like so confused about why Sam seemed so agitated during the entire conversation._

_Harvey yelled from the living room that last year at the Abbey a guy was the lamp from Aladdin and on the front of his gold pants it said “RUB ME!”  Sam threw the paper towel roll at him. He said “But baggy pants without any signage are good, though, how about MC HAMMER!? How about Steve Jobs dressed as MC Hammer?!?”_

_That’s when I realized that he just wanted me covered-up for Halloween so I wouldn’t meet anyone, fall in love and ride off into the sunset without you. He really misses you so much. <3 I do too of course, but poor Sam is so forlorn about it. I told him that I have no intention of getting into a relationship with anyone any time soon_ _, ~~and that it wasn’t healthy for him or me to hang hopes on the idea that I might get back together with you some day~~_ _~~.~~  We settled on doing a group Stars Costume - Sam as Han, Tina as Leia, Harvey as CP30, I’ll be Luke (as long as I wear  t-shirt under my tunic) and Joey as Chewbacca. _

_That cute guy Brian came up to me in class and asked if I was going to the WeHo parade (West Hollywood, the gay neighborhood in LA) for Halloween, or did I have a rule against no hooking up with MT (musical theatre) classmates, too? He was teasing again, he knows I’m not the one-night-stand type. I told him that we’re driving up to UCSB (UC Santa Barbara). One of Tina’s acapella friends has a high school friend who goes there._

_Apparently here in southern California, Halloween in IV (short for Isla Vista, the neighborhood near UCSB) have become a legendary. Last year 25,000 people were in the neighborhoods, 250 were arrested, and 450 citations were given out. I can’t say that I’m excited about going to a huge, raging block party, but it’s part of the college experience, so I’m game._

 

_…_

 

 _To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: October 28, 2014_ _  
_ Subject: glee club

_No one here uses the terms glee club/show choir since it is all acapella, but I don’t think I’m ever going to change. There will be an opportunity to sing with an accompaniment like I did with New Directions, in the huge annual singing competition towards the end of the year. It’s called Spring Sing, and it’s held in Pauley Pavilion (our basketball arena) in front of over 9000 people. I’m already plotting with Tina about what we’ll do and who to recruit to do it with us! This year it actually falls on Mr. Schuester’s birthday and he emailed me that he might be able to come out for it because of a conference that is out here, so I’m thinking about singing Queen for him._

_Anyway, I digress. I was actually just wanting to report that I’m excited that I get to sing lead for a holiday gig on that new single that I’m sure you’ve heard and loved, “_ Shut up and Dance with Me _: I was thinking about how great you would sound on it._

[ _https://youtu.be/MgUIlh2h7CQ_ ](https://youtu.be/MgUIlh2h7CQ)

_I’m sure Mixed Company is shaping up to be great under your leadership this year. This group I joined, Bruin Harmony, is the only all-male group on campus. It’s a young group and has been more focused on movie appearances and local appearances, but it has a lot of potential. Interestingly, most of the musical theatre students here aren’t in glee clubs - they are too busy auditioning for all the Hollywood opportunities.  The acapella groups seem to be for people who sang in high school but aren’t pursuing it professionally._

_That’s like everyone in Mixed Company, now that I think about it. Except the captains last year, Shannon and Greg? Maybe because there aren’t as many local opportunities, Stanford students join acapella? Or maybe you brilliant Stanford students are just too competitive to miss a chance to beat other schools, haha.  Anyway, all this is to say that_ _~~you don’t need to worry about seeing me~~ _ _I won’t see you in sectionals this year. Bruin Harmony is only competing Spring Sing. But maybe next year, if I have anything to do with it!_

 

…

 

 _To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: November 1, 2014_ _  
_ Subject: re: Halloween

_The spirit of Luke Skywalker was convinced that The Force was strong within my liver. Turns out he was wrong. My head feels like some of the skeletons I saw last night are dancing tango on it._

_~~I wish you were here to take care of me.~~ _ _I am not allowed anymore Halloweening.  Ever. I need your help to make sure I do not forget how much I embarrassed myself last night. Apparently I kept dancing with the trashcan we dressed up as R2D2.  I know you are now laughing at all of this, so I hate you and you’re welcome._

 

…

 

Blaine smiled sweetly at Kevin’s latest chat reply.  They had moved to a private Telegram Chat for convenience, but Blaine kept Kevin’s notifications muted all day in his attempt to keep the promise to himself to deprioritize boys. Though really, Kevin was a man, not a boy...so maybe the rule didn’t officially apply to him? Blaine shook his head at himself - he wasn’t going to let himself off on a technicality.

_KevinGMartin: I was telling my sister about you and she reminded me of another musical that I love - I haven’t thought about it in ages. You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I went to see it when I was eight years old, but I’ll never completely forget it. I can’t believe I haven’t brought it up before_

_BlaineAnders: You’ve gotten distracted, we have gone off on some serious HP and Marvel tangents recently haha.  But I adore that show!!!_

_KevinGMartin: Brb - one of my students actually emailed me a question, can you believe it?!?_

_BlaineAnders: Go go go, I’m excited for you!_

Blaine opened his ITunes app and found his favorite song from the 90’s revival of “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown,” starring a post-”Rent” Anthony Rapp and a pre-”Wicked” Kristen Chenoweth.

 

 _[Listen to “Happiness” by the 1999 Broadway cast on our_ [ _YouTube Playlist_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d13_LoHQkRM&list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh&index=113) _]_

  
...

 _Charlie Brown_ : _I'm so happy! That little red-headed girl dropped her pencil. It has teeth marks all over it. She nibbles on her pencil. She's human! Gosh, it hasn't been such a bad day after all._

_Happiness is finding a pencil_

_Snoopy: Pizza with sausage_

_Linus: Telling the time_

_Schroeder: Happiness is learning to whistle_

_Linus: Tying your shoe for the very first time!_

_Sally: Happiness is playing the drums in your own school band_

_Charlie Brown: And happiness is walking hand in hand_

_Happiness is two kinds of ice cream_

_Lucy: Knowing a secret_

_Schroeder: Climbing a tree_

_Charlie Brown: Happiness is five different crayons_

_Schroeder: Catching a firefly, setting him free_

_Charlie Brown: Happiness is being alone every now and then_

_All: And happiness is coming home again_

_Charlie Brown: Happiness is morning and evening, daytime and nighttime too_

_For happiness is anyone and anything at all that's loved by you!_

 

Blaine looked peaceful as he hummed along. The autumn leaves were  waving outside his window - they were different trees than back home, but they were still lovely.

Finding out that Kevin loved this musical was yet another good reason to like him. It was entirely consistent with what Blaine had learned about him so far. “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown,” was, after all, unusual on Broadway. It had simple instrumentation, spare art direction and staging, and an unabashed sweetness. Kevin was just as adorable, easy and lowkey.

The song “Happiness” in particular was the essence of the play. Along with the comedy and universal feelings of  anxiety, the show had the wide open feeling of early childhood. Things with Kevin felt wide open, too.

This new friend-with-possibilities was something fairly rare - a confident nerd. Blaine was sometimes a little embarrassed about his fanboy activities, probably from his father and brother’s lack of interest in them. Kevin, on the other hand, owned his quirks, in front of all of his family and even with total strangers. His collection of old cash registers, his comic book collection and his insanely huge vinyl collection were on display behind him and apparently was also stored in his childhood home in Brooklyn. He also didn’t hide behind his fanboy interests or overinvest in them. They were a part of who he was, but they didn’t seem to define him. Instead of being a boy with a mature side (like Kurt and Sebastian,) Kevin was a man with a boyish side.

He sounded like an introvert, but from what Blaine could tell, he was not shy. He was just polite, friendly without being boisterous. Despite his impressive intellect, he was also a grounded, straightforward guy. This was so refreshing after a busy day in the hustle and bustle of UCLA and Hollywood. Finally,  Kevin was as appreciative and thoughtful as Sebastian, without being as extravagant or opinionated. All that, and his values aligned with Blaine’s.

Blaine knew it wasn’t fair to be comparing him to Sebastian. No matter how attractive he was, Kevin was never going to be Sebastian. He was great in his own right, that was what was important to focus on. After all, In spite of his “rules,” Blaine had to admit that the most exciting part of his day was finally reading what Kevin had written, and, after his first reply, waiting to see if Kevin was around to write back. He usually was, and their chats before bed were often the best part of Blaine’s day.

 

…

 

_KevinGMartin: I’m back. It was a highly stimulating, teachable moment, let me tell you.  She wanted an extension on the deadline for her midterm due tomorrow._

_BlaineAnders: Oooh. Did you give it to her?_

_KevinGMartin: Nope. She said another class is taking up all of her time. That’s the worst excuse there is. She’s literally telling me how much less unimportant she thinks our class is. The professor is never going to buy that. And she was asking over email, she didn’t even have the brains (balls?) to ask in person_

_BlaineAnders: Wow yes, that’s pretty thoughtless_

_KevinGMartin: ANYWAY, getting back to the Peanuts gang. I was so young when I went to see it but I think what worked for me was that the whole thing feels like fantasy or memory. It was clear from the start that these 20/30-something actors obviously weren’t 5 or 6 years old, but that they represented that age. Or maybe I just loved it because it was the comic coming to life. I loved the comic strips so much_

_BlaineAnders: Same, I used to pore over the “Peanuts Treasury” books. My dad had them in a corner of his library - I remember the day I found them. The first one had a grayish blue cover with no dust jacket, black embossed old-school lettering, and the pages were soft around the edges. I think I was like 9 or 10 years old, I couldn’t believe that they were there, behind Jack Welch, John Wooden, and Plato. The day I found them was magical - it was like a peek into who my dad was as a kid, seeing the strips he colored in and realizing that the ones with the cracked spines were the ones that he read more often and where he dog-eared pages_

_KevinGMartin: Knowing that someone is a Peanuts fan is to know them as an adult, too, imho_

_BlaineAnders: I hadn’t thought of that at the time, but now that you put it that way, I’m sure you’re right. I’m not that close to my dad, but we’ve been getting a little closer since I graduated high school. Thanks for the insight - I’m going to reread those treasuries when I’m home at Christmas, now_

_KevinGMartin: Now you’re making me want to, too_

_KevinGMartin: Around the holidays, I always watch a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and Christmas, this could be a new tradition, to do some Peanuts rereading_

_BlaineAnders: We always watch those too! And White Christmas, A Muppet Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life, The Sound of Music, Singin’ in the Rain and Grease. It snowed so much last Christmas that we watched even more than that: American in Paris, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Hairspray and almost every decent Christmas movie or TV episode ever done_

_KevinGMartin: I don’t even know how to reply to all that, hahah_

_BlaineAnders: Lmao - sometimes You Can’t Stop the Beat!_

_KevinGMartin: Or the Rhythm is Gonna Get You?_

_BlaineAnders: LOL_

_KevinGMartin: We’re so gay_

_BlaineAnders: We really are! XD_

 

Blaine hesitated at his next thought. Typing it but not hitting “send” yet.

 

_BlaineAnders: Would you want to meet up before the holidays?_

 

After a moment he decided that Blaine 5.0 wasn’t going to pull the trigger yet. He wasn’t going to be as excitable and impulsive as Blaine 4.0.

_BlaineAnders:_ ~~_Would you want to meet up before the holidays?_~~

_BlaineAnders: So have you seen any of those movie musicals? I can’t believe we haven’t talked about them sooner_

_KevinGMartin: We’ve been a little busy - I don’t think Chris Evans has talked about Winter Soldier as much we have hahah_

_BlaineAnders: But Chris Evans! But Sebastian Stan!_

_KevinGMartin: You and that long haired Sebby. Bring Carter back to me_

_BlaineAnders: [unsent] My ex’s grandmother calls him Sebby_

_BlaineAnders: The fact that you’ve watched Gossip Girl throws my entire understanding of you sideways :D_

_KevinGMartin: I had it on mute. You can’t ignore that much pretty. Again, the gay gene_

_BlaineAnders: LOL_

_KevinGMartin: I’ve seen at least part of all of those movies and have enjoyed a few, but I will start our discussion by saying that one of those things is not like the others_

_BlaineAnders: Hairspray? It’s not quite as iconic as the others, I suppose…_

_KevinGMartin: No, Grease. It’s so much less happy...or  romantic (?) than the others. Or at least that’s my impression, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen pretty much all of them_

_BlaineAnders: Oh I, I see your point. It’s a little darker with Rizzo getting pregnant, Danny singing the blues, and it’s sexier. But there’s so much fluff in it, too_

_KevinGMartin: True. I do I have trouble with the end, though, when they turned that beautiful Sandy into a floozy. What a message for girls:  “Get your man by changing who you are for him! Hot pants will get you your happily ever after!”_

_BlaineAnders: Hahaha. She was just play acting to get his attention! You could see it when she turned around in the flying car, she was still herself, she hadn’t changed herself completely XD_

_KevinGMartin: Any argument that includes that flying car is null and void_

_BlaineAnders:  I’m not sure we can continue talking if you’re going to continue to diss Grease. ;)_

_KevinGMartin: Haha well I probably just couldn’t relate because I’ve always been such a square. I can see why it’s endured, for exactly what we just said - it’s gritty and fluffy at the same time. It’s got sex appeal like Danny and sweetheart appeal like Sandy. And the music is great_

_BlaineAnders:  I played Danny on stage last year :D_

_KevinGMartin: Of course you did. I bet that was fun_

_BlaineAnders:  It really was. And it helped erase some of the bad memories I have from the high school Grease production I did.  I was Teen Angel for that one_

_KevinGMartin: Who’s that?_

_BlaineAnders: The singer in the Frenchie scene - “Beauty School Dropout?”_

_KevinGMartin: So what was so bad? Were you bummed because you didn’t get the Danny role?_

 

Blaine bit his lip.  In Florence he had committed to eradicating the perfectionism that Sebastian had once called him out on.  Actually Sebastian had called him on it twice - the day before his almost-wedding to Kurt, and during their fight in Paris. Here was an opportunity to work on that, to let himself share the less than perfect parts of his story. He had already told Petey everything, and Kevin, so far, was just a new friend like Petey. A really cute and smart and fun friend, but a friend for now. For all he knew, Kevin never wanted to move out of the friend-zone, so all this worrying would be for nothing.

At at any rate, even if they did end up dating, Kevin probably wouldn’t judge him for having made such huge mistakes.  He didn’t always have to present himself perfectly. He hadn’t done it with Sebastian (much), and he didn’t have to do it now.

 

_BlaineAnders: No, I had just broken up with my first boyfriend, because of a massive mistake I made - I really hurt him. I assumed the worst in him because I was so insecure and needy. He wasn’t a great boyfriend right before it happened and our communication broke down, but that’s not an excuse - I screwed up big time. So I was a wreck when auditions came around. I decided to just try out for Teen Angel. I wasn’t in the headspace for Danny_

_KevinGMartin: That was pretty self-aware for high school._

_BlaineAnders: It was self-preservation.  It would have been torture to be Danny, who figures out his romance, when I felt like I had ruined mine_

_KevinGMartin: I’m sorry you went through that. It’s impressive that you have broken it down, that you understand why it happened_

_BlaineAnders: Thanks. Yeah, I learned something from it, at least. I regret it but I don’t regret it, if that makes sense_

_KevinGMartin: Makes perfect sense_

_BlaineAnders: What I really regret is that I didn’t learn my lessons from it completely, I got caught up in my romanticism and I made a lot of the same mistakes with my second love. He meant so much more to me than my first, so that break up was even more heartbreaking_

_KevinGMartin: I think life, at least while we’re young, is a game of climbing up and slipping down. We tend to think of learning as linear and progressive, but I’ll tell you from my research in consumer behavior, that is absolutely not the case. So what I’m trying to say is that you’re not alone in making the same mistakes twice._

_BlaineAnders: That makes a lot of sense. It makes life harder, but I think it will be worth it, we’ll feel we’ve earned it when we become who we want to be_

_KevinGMartin: Exactly. I can also testify that’s the case from my own life. You’re not the only one who has made mistakes_

_KevinGMartin: And that’s great you had a second chance to be Danny, at least_

_BlaineAnders: Yes. I was in the middle of my next relationship, so I guess I was feeling more confident_

_BlaineAnders: [unsent] My second love helped me find my confidence, so much_

_BlaineAnders: Even though now I don’t feel terribly confident about dating again, I don’t think I would let that keep me from playing Danny or any other role. I feel confident in myself overall - and I feel like I could play pretty much anything. I hope I don’t sound too cocky, but getting away from my insecurities has been a big thing for me and I’m happy about the progress I’m making_

_KevinGMartin: I’m off the charts impressed with you rn_

_BlaineAnders: Aw, you’re nice to say that. I’m so impressed with you, too_

_KevinGMartin: So how did the Danny performances go?_

_BlaineAnders: Fantastic. It was while I was in Scotland - it was such a great cast and crew. That production is the most professional stage show I’ve ever done - it was at a massive venue_

_BlaineAnders: [unsent] Sebastian even flew all the way from California_

_BlaineAnders: I could also relate to Danny in that he made big mistakes: trying to make a move on Sandy before she was comfortable with it, putting on a cool act when she first arrived. My mistake was way worse, but I liked that Danny joined the track team, tried to change himself for the better. He didn’t change himself entirely either, but he grew up from the experience_

_KevinGMartin: When I walked into my scholarship interview for college they had a file that wasn’t me - it was a different Kevin Martin. I don’t remember filling out a scholarship application so I think I ended up taking someone else’s scholarship money_

_BlaineAnders: Omg.  Also, random! :)_

_KevinGMartin: I thought we were playing a game of Things That We Regret Doing or Not Speaking Up About? :) Your turn...all the skeletons, Blaine Anderson.  I must know that you aren’t perfect_

_BlaineAnders: LOL Ok...how about my letting my first kiss be at the mall in the corridor between the food court and the bathroom?_

_KevinGMartin: Lmao that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard_

_BlaineAnders: In my defense he was REALLY cute.  But also, as it turned out, REALLY in the closet haha_

_KevinGMartin: Lmao weren’t they all_

_BlaineAnders: Hahahahha_

_KevinGMarin: I told a girl I loved her in front of everyone at recess, to prove I wasn’t gay in the 4th grade. She cried so much when I told her I didn’t mean it_

_BlaineAnders: Aw that’s so sad for both of you! Well I started texting my 2nd love a lot, while I was still with my first love. It was all family friendly, but I was already drawn to him, so I still think that was kind of bad_

_KevinGMartin: Not as bad as me walking out on a blind date as soon as I saw them, before they saw me.  Standing someone up is the lowest of the low I can’t believe I’m even telling you this. It’s the epitome of letting your fears get the best of you_

_BlaineAnders: Please, how about a few days after getting back together with your first love, proposing marriage to him when you’re still in high school? To somehow lock him into staying with me? I would not judge you if you blocked me rn.  In fact I might judge you if you don’t! I’m  facepalming so hard, that was the worst omg_

_KevinGMartin: Nope, I’m the worst. I killed my class pet in the third grade. Mr. Wonka didn’t make it through the delicate cycle. Slaughter always trumps teen marriage_

_BlaineAnders: Oh my god poor Mr. Wonka! I should clarify that I didn’t actually marry Kurt. We came really, really, close, but no I am not a 19 year old divorcee’_

_KevinGMartin: Phew. :D Sadly, I have nothing to clarify except that Mr. Wonka, RIP, was a bachelor with no plans to marry_

 

_…_

 

It was a late night chat that brought Blaine’s friendship with Kevin to a new level. After sharing all their war stories, they debriefed them all, laughing about them. Blaine didn’t sign off until 2:30AM.

It was easy to wonder more often about what it would be like to date Kevin, but they made such good friends that Blaine also wondered if things were best left there for now. It had only been three weeks, after all. For now, he  was happy to know that it might be a possibility.  

 

…

 

“It’s been three weeks already and you haven’t even MET him yet?” Rachel’s brown eyes were wide in the Skype window on Blaine’s laptop.

Blaine shrugged, looking down at the shirt button he was sewing. “I’m not in a hurry.”

Sam walked by, carrying a suitcase. “That’s right, he’s not in a hurry!”

Blaine turned around and gave Sam a meaningful look. “That doesn’t mean you can badger Sebastian this weekend about getting back together with me.”

“And there is no need for you to get back together with him even if he came back to you _without_ being badgered. And I STILL don’t understand why you’re still associating with him, Sam!”  

Rachel’s face had her bossypants expression on it and Blaine thought it was adorable. “It’s like you don’t remember that Sebastian apologized for the slushie and the blackmail…” he said mildly. It hurt him a little, to remember Sebastian didn’t want to get back together, so all of this was pointless. He pushed away the thought and said to Rachel reasonably, “I like that Kevin is just a great new friendship. We’ll see how things go eventually… I could see maybe becoming romantic about him, but I don’t know if he feels that way about me. The point is to just have fun right now.”

“But the point was to DATE people casually, that is what you wanted!  That means going out and meeting people face to face, instead of just typing!”

“No, that was your _point_. I didn’t want to date anyone at all right now.  This is a happy compromise, I think.  I mean, I did try your thing for awhile, twice a week, the last few weeks,” Blaine said, gesturing as he tried to calmly explain. “First, there was Scooter Boy, then there was Married Guy, then there was…” he paused to remember the order.

Tina looked up from her knitting to glance at Blaine and then more meaningfully at Rachel. “Hair Gel Fetish Guy,” she supplied.

Harvey piped up from the the armchair across from Blaine and Tina. “Don’t forget surgeon guy with the disgusting maggot story during dinner.”

“EWWWWW!” Rachel and Tina squealed in unison. Tina grimaced, “I did _not_ hear about that one!”

Harvey was walking by now, backpack on his shoulder. “Oh it was a doosey,” he said with a chuckle. “He sawed open this gent’s cast and all these maggots…”

“Oh my god no stop!” Petey yelled from the couch, pausing this game to cover his ears.

Harvey added with high good humor, “They were wiggling out and the flesh was…”

“Hanging up now!” Rachel said, looking disgusted.

“Bye!  Bet Sebastian’s not sounding so bad now, is he?” Sam said with calm superiority from over Blaine’s shoulder.

 

...

 

Sebastian was swigging coffee in front of his dorm, watching his Lincoln Town Car approach him down Lomita Drive. Parking and traffic was always thick around the SAP Center (where the San Jose Sharks hockey team played), so he always hired a car or a limousine when he had tickets. Rob was often with him, but not today.  Rob had stayed home to wait for Sam, whose flight was delayed at the San Francisco airport.  Sebastian was going to meet Nick, who had flown to San Jose airport from from USC, and was going straight to the SAP Center.

He took another gulp of coffee and grimaced. Jay was home at his parents’ house this weekend for a visit, and he didn’t like it. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing (should he just talk Sam into going to the city to see them all? Should he not be texting so much?). He still couldn’t shake the feeling of foreboding about his relationship with Jay. Jay was still all he could hope for in a daily partner, but he still felt like he didn’t know what he we was doing.

Sebastian saw a taxi turn into the Roble Hall parking lot next, and to his surprise Sam climbed out of it on the far  side of the building from where Sebastian stood.  He started walking over, only to see Sam race away from him, waving Sebastian off wildly. “No, go ahead! I’m going to run up and get Rob! I just realized I left...something...back at the airport! He said he would come with me, you should go ahead!”

“I can get them to messenger it over later…” Sebastian said, looking perplexed as he kept striding towards Sam. “I’ll just call Rob and tell him to come down and we can all ride over…”

"I want to go to the bathroom…we’ll be real quick! We’ll be right behind you! DON’T WAIT FOR ME! I’ll see you there!” With that,, dashed, clutching his duffel bag, in the door of building behind a student he had been hiding behind, and ran through the entryway.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and turned back to the curb where he heard his driver arriving. What the hell had happened in five months to make Sam so much weirder?

 

…

 

It was about midway through the intermission between the 2nd and 3rd periods. David and Sebastian were returning to their seats after going to stretch their legs and get drinks. The Kiss Cam had begun and the din was getting loud and lively, but Sebastian was distracted. He was planning a date that Jay wouldn’t forget. But just as he and David had reached Nick at their seats, they saw a spectacle pulling focus from the crowd cheering around them. They saw Sam, awkwardly hurrying towards them, knocking into people as he went. But what was he knocking them with? It appeared to be a huge...painting? Rob was behind him, trying to control the tail end of the large canvas while apologizing to the fans who had been jostled or hit by his overly determined out-of-town-guest. Sebastian looked at Sam with a baffled expression as he neared. “What the…”

When they neared, Rob called out over Sam’s head, “He didn’t want to see you until he had this to give to you…that’s what the cabbie left on the curb at the airport.” He had a look on his face that Blaine used to give Sebastian, too. It was the _BE NICE_ look.

Sebastian made an annoyed face at Rob and turned to their houseguest with somewhat weary forbearance. Did Sam really have to be such a sap and make such a scene?

Sam hastened even more as he closed in on Sebastian.  He was looking very tired, but triumphant. “I painted this for you!” he said, smiling nervously.  “I…”

Sebastian exhaled, looking a little more patient. Sam was such a damned puppy. He shook his head at him, “You didn’t have to, Sammy...”

At the sound of Sebastian’s nickname for him, Sam’s anxious smile grew brighter and he surged forward to take the last few steps, only to skid in his flip flops in some spilled beer. His eyes were like saucers as he jerked wildly to come down on his back knee. His years in football taught him how to hold on to something important while falling - if the canvas was punctured over someone’s head that would be months of work to waste!  Thankfully, the painting stayed intact. Since it would be awkward to stand up while holding onto it, he just offered it up to Sebastian from where he was on one knee. “Here,” he said eagerly, “It’s to show you how sorry I am about, you know…”

He was drowned out by the sound of cheering around them, and then they saw Nick laughing and pointing up at the Jumbotron. Sebastian followed his gaze to see himself and Sam in the Kiss Cam frame, looking like they were in the midst of a marriage proposal. Sebastian rolled his eyes, but as the clapping, whoops and whistles grew deafening he had to chuckle in spite of himself. The performer in him gave the camera a wink and a smile before he looked over at Sam, who resembled a deer in the headlights. Sebastian raised his eyebrow and smirked - this was an LGBT moment he wasn’t going to pass up. He handed the painting over to David and gripped Sam’s forearm to get him to his feet. He pulled his friend by the waist and kissed Sam on the lips quickly before throwing deuces at the Kiss Cam as if it was the paparazzi.

The crowd cheered wildly before the camera moved on to the next couple. “You’re welcome,” he said with  laughing eyes as he pushed Sam towards the seat next to Nick. Sam was blushing, but his relief was also palpable.

While Nick and David greeted Sam, Sebastian leaned over to Rob, who was on the other side of him. “Jay’s going to be jealous, eh?” he said with amusement.  

Rob grinned back at him. “SO jealous,” he said with a chuckle, leaning back in his seat.

It occurred to Sebastian that this was probably the most fun thing to happen since he’d started dating Jay, and that he wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Rob interrupted his thoughts. “Sam looks so relieved. He was so worried about seeing you.”

Sebastian looked back over at Sam, whose back was turned as he talked with Nick. Then he saw David was waving a hand at him. “Your painting,” he called as he passed the large canvas over to Sebastian.  

Sebastian shook his head slightly and gave Rob a look as he positioned the painting in front of their long legs. “Really, you couldn’t talk him out of bringing this hazard here? I wouldn’t be surprised if we get complaints filed  for the pain and suffering you guys caused on your way in...” But when his eyes focused on the canvas, he was silenced.

[ x ](http://watercolorbyosamu.blogspot.com/2011/08/)

Sam had painted the Tunnel View in Yosemite. It was the view Sebastian had woken up to see when Jay, David, and Karen had driven him to Yosemite for the first time. It had been the first view in a long time that had taken Sebastian’s breath away. He remembered blinking his eyes open from his nap to see it, his half-asleep state making the beautiful vista seem like dream. Sam’s impressionistic style captured that feeling, even if his technique was a bit simplistic for Sebastian’s taste.

The subject was what mattered the most, though, because Yosemite was where Sebastian had gotten some clarity again, after those long summer months of not being able to feel much of anything. It was where he had begun to feel himself again - perhaps it was the mountain air.  It was also where he had offloaded some of the awfulness of the Blaine-breakup, pouring it out in sweat as he climbed Half Dome and in a crying jag in the tent that night. He’d been a damned mess, but it must have been needed because he had woken up the next day feeling more himself than he had all summer. The serenity and majesty, the way the light played off granite, the trees, and the river - it was a saving grace, if he were to use the cliché.

It struck Sebastian that he’d never told Sam any of this, but after puzzling over it a moment he looked over at Rob, raising his eyebrows. “Sam asked you what I’d like, and you asked your little señorita to share about the Cub Scout campout she dragged me on?”

Rob just smiled, looking at the painting as well. “It’s pretty good, especially since he doesn’t paint much…Karen says it must have taken at least a couple of weeks to do,” he added.

Sebastian looked back over at Sam. He was nodding as he listened to the others, but he looked both exhausted and anxiously keyed up. It was an odd combination for Sam, who normally was much more happy and relaxed. Sebastian’s eyes narrowed as he continued to observe, and he grew more and more disturbed. Sam was now talking, but he looked like he was trying too hard. Sebastian’s finely honed bullshit detector was going off. Nick and Rob obviously didn’t think much of how weird Sam was being, probably discounting it to tiredness, but Sebastian knew better. Sam had been far more jetlagged in Paris, yet he had still been in better spirits.  The longer Sebastian watched him, the more sure he was that Sam was not doing well. He stood up and hovered over him until he was noticed. “Sammy,” he commanded, “Come take a walk.”

When they had gotten outside, Sebastian led them down the street alongside the stadium. He looked over at Sam with a knowing glance, and cut to the chase. “What’s going on with you? You’re weirder than usual, which is saying something. Did something happen? Spit it out.”

Sam looked surprised. He hesitated for a second, but decided he was fine. “What? Nothing’s wrong,” he answered, crossing his arms to warm himself against the brisk autumn air. “I’m...okay.”

Sebastian shook his head, looking back over at him. “Don’t bullshit me. What is it? You having money problems? I can get you a little cash to tide you over.”

Sam glanced back at him, shaking his head and looking mildly disconcerted. He considered Sebastian a good friend, even if they hadn’t spoken in several months, but being interrogated by him was not fun. “No, it’s not that, I’m fine. Thanks, though. Blaine’s not asking for much rent, and I got a part-time job…” His voice was polite, and a little strained. He swallowed, looking a little uncomfortable as he switched gears. “How are you?  Rob said you’ve got a job, too?’

Sebastian ignored the change of subject. It was now clear that Sam was not trying to hide something, but that didn’t mean that nothing was wrong. He pushed for more. “Is everything okay with your family?”

“Yes.”

“You been to the doctor lately?”

“Nope, I feel fine, Seb, really.”

Sebastian looked back at Sam with a dissatisfied expression, but over his shoulder he also saw a park across the street that gave him an idea.

Sam was still rambling on, in an entirely unconvincing way, about how fine he was. “It’s cool of you to ask, Seb, but really, I’m okay. I’m kinda tired, yeah, but that’s just from the flight…”

Sebastian was now leading them away from the stadium to the park across the street. “It was a 10AM, _one_ hour flight, Sammy. You been getting enough sleep?”

“Yeah, I think so…” Sam replied, looking unsure.

“You either are or you aren’t,” Sebastian said, his brow furrowed.

“I’m not keeping track…” Sam said faintly, his brow furrowing a little.

“Well you should, you look like crap,” Sebastian declared. “What’s keeping awake? You should go see Blaine’s shrink. I’m assuming he has one in LA?” It was another one of those odd moments when Sebastian remembered how out of the loop he was with Blaine. But that was a good thing, he reminded himself sternly. While he still thought of Blaine often, it was better for him not to fixate on him too long. Hearing all the details would just make him miss Blaine more.

Thankfully Sam distracted him from that train of thought. “I don’t...know if he has a therapist,” he said, looking unsure.

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed at him.  “How do you not know? Wait, are you guys fighting?” Was Blaine holding a grudge because of the Lima Bean incident? It didn’t seem possible.  

“Oh, no, we aren’t fighting…” Sam said, looking unsettled. “He just...hasn’t mentioned it, and anyway, I don’t like to bother him. But I probably could talk to one through my school, if I needed one, I guess. But I don’t need one, I don’t think...”

Sebastian didn’t answer.  They had reached the children’s climbing dome that he had seen in the distance. It reminded Sebastian of Sam somehow, maybe because Sam had sat on one like it at the Westerville elementary school last winter, the day they went on the sleigh ride with the Warblers. Either that or because Sam clambered on one in Paris with Stacy and Stevie. Sebastian, Gucci leather lace-up high-tops notwithstanding, climbed up on this one.

Sam watched with puzzlement at his sophisticated, long-limbed friend scaling an apparatus for six year olds.

Sebastian reached the top and gestured for Sam to join him. He said wryly, “Come on now, you K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ed me, now you have to sit with me in a tree...or, whatever the hell this thing is.”

Sam gave him a small, smile, the most genuine one of the day.  He climbed up to sit next to his friend. It was a little weird to be on a kiddie playground without any kids, but it was sort of cute of Sebastian. He really was so glad that his friend wasn’t still mad at him.

Sebastian was sitting with his legs bent, slightly open, on the top of the structure. Sam would feel more comfortable up here than walking the streets of a strange city. He rested his arms on his knees, looking frankly worried. “If you’re not fighting, are you…” Sebastian didn’t know how to put it. “...talking _less_ to Blaine?” He was now worried about how Blaine was doing. If there was something “off” about “Blam,” if they were disconnecting, there could be something rotten in the state of Denmark.

Sam hugged his knees as he pondered the question. “Yeah, I guess so…but that’s not anyone’s fault. He’s real busy,” he said a little dejectedly. “He’s got school, this new glee club (it’s acapella and all guys, kinda like the Warblers); plus he’s gone out to meet with agents and done some Hollywood auditions for commercials and stuff. So he’s busy with all that, and talking about all that with one of the guys from his program, this super smart guy from New York, who lives with us.” He added seriously, “Don’t worry, he’s not gay.” Sam didn’t realize it, but he _was_ exhausted, from weeks of putting on a sunny front with his housemates.

Sebastian took a deep breath, looking annoyed.

“Petey’s great. Plus they talk to Tina about all their school stuff ‘cause she’s a second year in their program.” Sam added in a strained voice, “Blaine’s got a lot goin on’, that’s all.” He seemed fixated on a tree nearby.

Sebastian’s brow furrowed. What Sam was saying made sense, but it also didn’t. Blaine was just as busy during their year in Scotland, busier when _Grease_ was in frequent rehearsals. But back then Sam never hesitated to barge into Blaine’s bedroom to talk, drag him out to play games, or fanboy about something. This was to Sebastian’s chagrin most of time, especially when Blaine forgot to lock the door while they were in the midst of Skype sex. Sebastian shook himself, so he wouldn’t get distracted by memories of making Blaine blush down to his treasure trail. “Sammy, if I have learned anything in the last couple of years, it’s that Blaine will ALWAYS make time for you. Why don’t you just get in his face like you always have?”

Sam’s eyes widened as he tried to explain. “Oh I know he’d make time for me...I just don’t really have anything so important to talk to him about, so it’s cool...” He returned to gazing at the tree.

Sebastian was watching Sam and he tapped him to get him to look him in the eye. “Sammy. It’s me. You can give it to me straight. Why don't you think you have anything important going on? Are you REALLY okay?”

Sam felt a wave of emotion rise in his body, and he curled into himself tightly. “I’m...okay,” he said, looking down for a second before raising his head to smile reassuringly. It was, after all, the response  he’d been giving for a few months now.  

Sebastian arched a brow at him.  “Really? Is that public school community college thing _really_ okay? And LA, how is driving in all that traffic? If Nick’s car is giving you trouble, we can just get you another one, you know.” He paused and reached over without thinking to pat Sam’s cheek. “You know you wouldn’t be the first one to have a time of it, getting used to a new city, a new school...a new job.” Then he looked away, thinking that this was how he used to take care of Blaine. But looking away meant that he was wholly unprepared for all 168 pounds of Sam to suddenly come at him for a smothering side-hug. It was only Sebastian’s lacrosse reflexes that saved them from falling off of their perch.

Sam’s head was now buried in Sebastian’s shoulder and his voice was half muffled. “Ugh, I guess it DOES suck...traffic can be bad but what’s worse is that there’s never anywhere to park and if you can’t get a space you have to go to these lots that are super far away and take a bus to campus, and people in class just look at their phones and take off after class and I haven’t met ANYBODY, and the art classes aren’t as good as the RC and it makes me REALLY miss Mary…” He raised his head and let out a moan that sounded so much like Chewbacca that Sebastian wanted to laugh.

Sam’s words continued in a flood. “But I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like I should complain, Blaine’s been getting over breaking up with you and his classes sound super hard, and Tina’s sound even harder, and they’ve got acapella competitions and real Hollywood auditions to get ready for. They’re all so busy, and kinda stressed out sometimes… I just don’t want to get in their way, you know, with my stupid little problems...but ugh, man, it feels SO good to let it all OUT.”

Sebastian looked down with some distaste at the slumping, emotional boy on his shoulder. He rolled his eyes but he let Sam just sit there for a minute.  He let a long pause go by, the comfortable kind that he and Sam come to have over time. “Did I ever tell you that I literally bumped into a wall while I was walking around with a map on my first day out here?”

Sam chuckled a little, sitting up straight again. “No. Hah, really?”

“Yep, it was Rob’s fault, but whatever. Like everyone else, when we were where you and Blaine are, it took awhile to get a grip on everything.”

Sam’s eyes were wide. It was weird to think of smooth Sebastian being anything but cool, and Rob, one of his heroes, being anything but calm and collected.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows as he recalled the blur that was his first quarter at Stanford. “Rob was working a job with weird hours so he could also be in the band, which was travelling every weekend, and he was taking a full load of engineering classes.  I had acapella rehearsals, I was taking too many classes, lacrosse legitimately was kicking my ass, and I was training for my first triathlon.”

Sam looked impressed. “You guys were busier than I think Blaine and Petey are…”

Sebastian nodded. “That’s how we do it at Stanford.” It wasn’t really true, but it sounded good. He thought about what to say next for a moment more. “It was a legit blur and sometimes stressful, but you know what my favorite thing was?”

Sam sat up again, trying to regain some composure. “What?”

“Talking with Blaine.” He held up his hand before Sam could speak. “And not just because it was Blaine. It was also because he was someone who was totally outside of my Stanford world. He reminded me about life in another orbit from mine. He would tell me all about what was happening to him, and you, and other people in another country. It got my head out of my ass and reminded me that my busy-ness, the things I was getting pompous about, and especially my stress, was not the end-all-be-all. So...if you interrupt Blaine and Tina more often and vent about your stuff, they’d have you to thank for it. And don’t think because your stress is at a community college, that it’s not anything worth mentioning. In fact you better mention it soon, because the longer you hold back, the more Blaine is going to be mad that you. After all, you’ve been depriving him the opportunity to fuss over you and bake for you and sing to you.”

Sam looked wistful at that. “Aw, I guess you’re right. When I was homesick in Scotland, and when I was getting sad about leaving Mary, he read me Star Wars fanfiction at bedtime last year.”

Sebastian looked at him with amused derision. The pretty blond hair and blue eyes, those lips, the pecs and biceps and those abs...all of that hotness completely wasted on a straight dork. He huffed out a chuckle. “You two are the limit. Seriously, do them a favor and stay in their faces - they need someone to keep it real.”

Sam smiled as he looked down for a moment, playing with the strings of his hoodie. Then he looked up at Sebastian, his blue eyes earnest. “Thanks, Bas. I never thought about it that way.” He sighed with relief as he looked over to the nearest tree.  “I’m really glad I came up here.”

Sebastian nodded, and a few more beats went by as he let Sam process it all. Then he got to what he had been urgently wanting to ask about for the last few minutes. “How is Blaine, anyway?”

Sam slowly turned back to Sebastian with a knowing look. “Why do you ask?” he said, with a sly smile.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I ask because we were just talking about him, and you mentioned he is really busy. So I am wondering, _with no agenda_ , just how stressed out he is by everything.”

Sam was still smiling triumphantly. “I KNEW you still care!”

Sebastian gave him a stern look. “Of course I still care, I never stopped caring. But nothing has changed since I saw you last -  I DO NOT WANT TO DATE BLAINE AGAIN.” It was his turn to give an automatic answer. “We’re too different.”

Sam was looking at Sebastian carefully. “Ok,” he said in a casual tone.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him.

Sam continued blithely, pulling his hoodie string almost all the way out on one side, and then the other side. “But since you’re asking how he is, I’ll tell you that’s he’s not dating ANYONE. He made up some rule for himself about not dating anyone in his major at school…” Sam winked at Sebastian, “Something about the potential for ‘drama,’” he said, drawing air quotes. “Some dude keeps asking him out anyway, and even though Petey says he looks like a Gossip Girl actor, BLAINE WON’T GO OUT WITH HIM. And even though Rachel was bugging him date so he went on a bunch of first dates to get her to simmer down, THERE’S NEVER BEEN A SECOND DATE WITH ANY OF THEM.”

“I’m sitting right next to you, Sam - stop yelling at me like I’m your deaf grandmother,” Sebastian said irritably. He suspected the musical theater classmate just wasn’t trying hard enough. Then he had an awful thought. Maybe Blaine had been with Sebastian just because he was the one who tried the hardest. That had been, after all, how Sebastian had earned most things in his life.

Sam replied, looking like a cartoon detective. “And even the first dates have pretty much stopped. He’s mostly just chatting with this one guy from _OKCupid_ , but I think they’re just friends, Blaine checked that box on his profile on there, that he was looking just for friends, too. They’ve been chatting for weeks and weeks and they haven’t even met...” he said, looking highly satisfied.

Sebastian was listening and extracting the facts from the picture Sam was trying to paint. Sam said Blaine was not dating, but that wasn’t true. He just wasn’t exclusive with anyone. Yet. He was actually out there, looking for his true love. The thought made Sebastian’s gut churn a bit, but he expected that. He also suspected that the douche who I was just being Blaine’s “online friend” was going to be attempting Skype sex soon enough. Or maybe he would finally meet up with Blaine once his guard was completely down. Internet dating was for losers, that was  documented.

But Rob had said he couldn’t speak up about who Blaine was dating. The fact that this bit of ‘wisdom’ was still floating around in his head made Sebastian want to club his best friend to a pulp.

If Blaine really was moving on, fending off two suitors or more, maybe he didn’t have to tell Blaine about Jay. Blaine knew Sebastian was “dating” Marc - even though it wasn’t dating, at all. He knew Sebastian had moved on. So maybe Sebastian didn’t really need to tell Blaine that he had moved on _again._ Blaine probably had made peace with Sebastian moving on - just like Sebastian would have to, now that he had confirmation that it was official.

But what if he was he only dating to shut Baby Babs up? What if Sam was right, that Blaine wasn’t going on any second dates because he wasn’t over Sebastian yet? Did that mean Sebastian should tell him, to ease the blow somehow? After all he was dating Jay of all people, who Blaine had been jealous of last year. Better safe than sorry. _Fuck._

Sam interrupted his thoughts. “I can see the wheels turning,” he said slyly. “So now that you know he’s not over you, you gonna swoop in there at Christmas and sweep him off his feet?”

Sebastian was now upset at the idea of hurting Blaine. “NO,” he said, pointing at Sam warningly. “Don’t test me, Sammy.”

“Oh come on, there’s nothing to be scared of…”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, his mind already anxious about what Blaine’s beautiful face would look like when he heard the news. He leaned against his knees, looking between them down at the sand through the bars of the play structure.

“...You two are so perfect together…”

Sebastian ignored Sam again, realizing this was all going to go down when Sam returned to LA. There was no way they would get through the weekend without Sam hearing about Jay. Rob might not tell him, but if Nick got it out of Rob, Sam would know.

“I never would have thunk it, and I’m not getting involved, ‘cause like you guys said it’s not my place to meddle, but I just can’t wait to see you guys together again…”

Sam’s blathering was now really grating. And Sebastian hated that Rob was so ROB. He would refuse to lie about Jay to Sam. David was a horrible liar, so he couldn’t be counted on even if he could be persuaded somehow, which was doubtful. Sebastian could feel his chest tightening. Once again he might be causing Blaine pain.

“I can tell you’re thinking about it.  Just do it, tell him you love him...come on…”

Sebastian was starting to feel sick to his stomach as he tried to continue to ignore Sam. He urgently tried to think of what to say to Blaine. Hell, he wasn’t even sure how to tell the yammering idiot next to him.

“DO IT,  

DO IT

DO IT

DO IT

DO IT

DO IT

DO IT...”

“SAM, shut up for fuck’s sake, I have a boyfriend now!”

Sam stilled, his jaw dropping open as he was stunned into silence.

Sebastian sighed and reached into his jacket. He pulled out his flask, offering it to Sam.  

When his friend didn’t move a molecule, Sebastian took a swig for himself.

 

…

 

 _To: Blaine Anderson_  
_From: Sebastian Smythe_  
_Date: November 9, 2014_ _  
_ Subject: News

_I’m dating Jay now. I wanted to tell you myself, because I don’t want you to think that this has been building since I met him. I was being honest when I told you that I found him attractive back then, but that I only wanted to be with you._

_I also don’t want you to think that the only reason I haven’t been with him was because I saw you first and  that I stayed with you out of some sense of obligation. Because both of those things are also absolutely untrue._

~~All I ever wanted was to be with you.~~

Sebastian found his eyes welling up, but he redoubled his effort to get the thing done.

 _After we couldn’t be together anymore,_ ~~_because we screwed that up,_ _Jay and I got closer. He actually was rooting for you and I to get back together, but since that can’t happen, I found myself just kind of sitting with it -  by “it” I mean being closer to him._~~

~~_As you can see I still suck at this kind of thing._ ~~

_~~I thought really long and hard about it and I decided wanted to try.  I even thought that once you’d moved on and were happier for it, that maybe you’d be glad that I am giving this relationship crap another shot. After all, you were the one who showed me what it is to love someone.~~ _ _it was incredibly hard_ _maybe the hardest thing I’ve done_ _, staying away from you these last months. But it’s for the best._ _And I only want the best for you._ _I want you to know that while I’m still monumentally sorry that I hurt you, I’m not sorry that I_ _~~love~~ _ _loved you._

 

A few tears dripped down Sebastian’s face. He did not expect for this email to make things feel so final. He took a deep breath and plowed forward.

 

 _Sam told me you’ve been dating around. I’m glad you’re moving on and hope you’re having fun doing it. If the moving on thing isn’t completely over, then I’m sorry if this email is causing more hurt. But_ ~~_I figured that I owed it to you to make myself do it, instead of letting Sam do it. And_~~ _I thought it would be better for you than to hear it from me than from Sam._

_Speaking of Sam, he seems pretty stressed out. Just the typical getting-used-to-a-new-life-stuff - but he’s doing worse than you think, he’s been holding back on you because you’re so busy yourself. He’s jonesing for you to read Star Wars fanfiction before bed._

_That’s it for now. Call me if you want to talk, yell at me, whatever._ ~~_I miss you._~~ _I’d be game for talking more regularly again if you’re down with that. Regardless, I’m always around for you_ ~~_, Killer_ _._ _I’m still_~~

~~_Yours,_ ~~

_Seb_

...

 

 _To: Sebastian Smythe_  
_From: Blaine Anderson_  
_Date: November 9, 2014_ _  
_ Subject: Re: News

~~_Can we not be in touch for awhile, I need some time._ ~~

_Thanks for the update. It’s always weird to hear an ex is dating someone else, but I know Jay is a great person_ ~~_so I’m happy for you_~~ _. I appreciate you giving me the heads-up._

 _Don’t worry, I’m moving on from everything. And while I’m sorry too, for everything I did to hurt you and how I contributed_ ~~_to the mess_~~ _to what went wrong, I have no regrets. Even all the mistakes we made have taught us something, maybe that we couldn’t have learned any other way._

_Thank you so much for filling me in on Sam. I’ll pay more attention. I can’t believe I’ve been so clueless. I really, really appreciate you telling me._

_I will always be here for you, too._ ~~_But right now it still feels too soon for it to be a regular thing. But definitely feel free to call if you need anything, I’ll let you know if it’s too soon at that point. Like I said, I’ve definitely moved on from you, but right now I’m trying to focus on school and this play I’m in as the quarter starts to wrap up.  You weren’t kidding when you said the college quarter system goes by fast! I can’t believe we’re heading in to week seven._~~

_Blaine_

 

...

 

Sebastian stared at the email as a sinking feeling pervaded him. He wanted to believe the beginning of the email, but the abrupt way it ended was enough to make him sure that the polite Dalton schoolboy was back. But this time Sebastian didn’t think he should reply to try to help Blaine feel more comfortable. Because this time Blaine might be more than uncomfortable. Sebastian could be out on a limb (damn it Sam) but since this wasn’t about just messing around with Marc, this was about dating, about someone he had once felt threatened by, about someone who could be seen as replacing Blaine...Blaine could be sad, or even angry. If so, any attempt to break the ice would make things worse.

Blaine also had not replied to Sebastian’s offer of talking regularly again. No answer meant no, Sebastian knew it in his bones. That was a sore disappointment, even if it had been a long shot to ask so soon. He let out a quiet sigh. Well, he had been missing Blaine for this long, he would just have to wait a little while longer. After all, it wouldn’t be long before Blaine would move on and have a boyfriend himself.  

Sebastian was rankled by the idea still, but who the hell was he talk.

 

...

 

Blaine closed his laptop, praying that Sebastian wouldn’t reply. Then he heard a text tone.  It was Sam:

 

_SAM: Seb told me he told you about his new boyfriend. I just landed, when we get back we can have those beers Cooper brought, and do anything you want._

_BLAINE: Is that you calling Jay his boyfriend, or Seb?_

_SAM: Both. Don’t worry, I’ll help you come up with something. It’s too bad that I didn’t even get to meet Jay, he was at his folks’ house all weekend. Bummer. It’s better if one has looked one’s nemesis in the eye_

_BLAINE: If you do anything to Jay so help me god I will kick you out of our house. He’s a good person_

_BLAINE: I love you for being so crazy. But you are not allowed to act on the crazy_

_SAM: Ok, fine. Anyway, Seb would probably kill me if he found out_

_BLAINE: I’m sure he would.  I have to go, safe travels. We missed you around here, look forward to having you back_

_SAM: Aw. Ok bye_

 

Blaine shook his head and stared at the ceiling, his surreal state of being now even more so. Sebastian said he had _loved_ him, and now it turned out Jay was his BOYFRIEND. It was like getting kicked while he was down. It was strange though, because while he felt a sting from both pieces of news, the stings had been so quick. They weren’t gone, but now the stings felt deep inside him. They felt like they were wrapped in a bad dream. They didn’t feel sharp anymore, but they felt deep. He didn’t feel like he was bleeding out, not like he did when they had first broken up. It more like internal bleeding. It was just that dreams he had wanted so badly, for so long, seemed to be floating by, behind a glass barrier he couldn’t get through, and all he could do was watch it go past. It didn’t even matter that he wasn’t even sure if he wanted those things anymore. It was like his past was coming to haunt him.

He took a deep breath and came out of his room, stood there in the hallway for a few seconds, then went back in his room.  He didn’t even know why he had come out.  He stood in his room, staring out the window, still not able to get a grip on what to feel first. Then he went to his closet and got out his boxing gloves. Normally he would have put his headphones on and  cranked up the music, but today he was so ready that he just ran up to the attic and started silently, going at the speedbag. The bag rattled on and on, on and on, and Blaine’s thoughts did, too. Tears fell too (but not too many):

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I knew this would happen_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I called it_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_But it still sucks_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Was I just a pit stop_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Nope not going there_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Ugh he loved me_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Why couldn’t he say it to me_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Why didn’t I say it to him_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_He’s Jay’s Boyfriend_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

He’s Jay’s BOYFRIEND

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Why did I have to be so ME_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_NO not going there!_

_ _

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_This is NOT all my fault_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_This is no one’s fault_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I want to punch Sebastian_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I want to punch myself_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I want to punch Jay_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Nope don’t go there!_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Want to be happy for him_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Want to cry_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I’m so mad_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_So mad at him_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_So mad at ME_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I wish I could hate Jay_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Bas didn’t plan this_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_He didn’t plan this_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_He’s a lamb_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_In the woods_

_When it comes_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_To this stuff_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I’ll be okay_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_This is just_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_all my worst fears_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_from last year_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_coming true_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I’ll be okay_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I’ll be okay_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I’ll be okay_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Ugh I hate this_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_They must be so happy_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I don’t even want a boyfriend_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_This doesn’t mean_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I’m not over him_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I just have feelings_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Anyone would have feelings_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I hate these feelings_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I hate these feelings_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_I hate these feelings_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_FUCK!_

(Thappita, thappita, thappita)

_Fuck I should write a song_

 

…

 Jay opened eyes slowly, but he knew what he was going to see - an empty bed. 

Ever since their conversation in the shower, Sebastian was gone more and more often from their bed in the morning, no matter how early Jay tried to wake up. It didn’t make any sense, because as they headed through midterms and towards finals, things were only getting busier school-wise.

Lacrosse conditioning was at 8:00AM, but Sebastian was now up at the crack of dawn to get a gourmet breakfast from their favorite local restaurant. The food was exquisite the delivery was unreliable, so Sebastian spent a half hour round trip fetching croissants, fruit, bacon, fragrant coffees, and various breakfast potatoes for them. Jay protested, but Sebastian said it was no trouble, as he was getting it for himself and Jay could eat it or not. By itself this would not be a big deal, but it was a little worrisome when put together with the rest of Sebastian’s activity.

That activity was nothing short of nonstop, having also increased as the quarter wore on. Sebastian coordinated with Jay to have dinner together every night, and lunch if they could pull it off between their schedules. For every meal at one of their dorm suites, Sebastian seemed to have not only a gourmet catered meal, but a different ITunes playlist and a new Hermes, Christian Lacroix or Ralph Lauren appointed table, complete with platinum napkin rings.

He was also busy showering Jay with incredibly expensive gifts, despite Jay earnestly objecting again and again. Their talk during the first week about didn’t seem to have a lasting impact. Sebastian was making  excuses, like that he was buying something for Santana but found out she had a hat just like it already. A hat for a team Jay was sure Santana had never heard of. Even if he took an extravagant gift back because Jay flat out refused it, he was always back the next day with something new. Jay finally just tried to be grateful and not uncomfortable about the fact that Sebastian had bought him probably 25 gifts and he had only bought Sebastian one - a stuffed Bambi toy.  

The gift giving meant that Sebastian spent a lot of time shopping at Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdales, and many other high-end  stores at the nearby high-end Stanford shopping Center. Jay had made the mistake of mentioning that Hugo Boss was his favorite designer. This  resulted in regular shipments from “a friend of my mother’s” who magically had access to “samples” Jay’s size. Jay knew he was much too short to be a model size.

On the weekends, Sebastian had taken Jay out dancing in the Castro and to shows.  They had front row seats for the San Francisco Ballet and the Grammy Winning Pacific Mambo Orchestra at the world renowned Yoshi’s Jazz Club in Oakland. Sebastian had secured their center orchestra seats for Kinky Boots in December, too. This at least was more acceptable than the gifts - Jay knew Sebastian genuinely loved seeing the performing arts and wanted to share that love with Jay.

Most problematic was the fact that Sebastian never seemed to want to hang out with their friends anymore. When Jay asked that they stay home for one of the next few weekends, Sebastian chose Halloween weekend! That was a weekend for parties and friends, but Sebastian wasn’t interested in any of it. Instead he had his apartment decorated elaborately, and they had watched Clue and Edward Scissorhands on a state of the art movie projector.  

It was strange that Sebastian never wanted to see their friends. He was an introvert, Jay knew that, but he also thrived on being the center of attention. He genuinely enjoyed parties most of the time, even if they tended to tire him. Sebastian was always the life of the party and he enjoyed commanding the room. It was perplexing that he suddenly never wanted to go out, even just double dating with Pauline and Roger. Jay knew Sebastian was not ashamed of him, but he was starting to wonder about how comfortable Sebastian was operating as someone’s boyfriend in front of anyone they knew (outside of Rob and Karen.)

The worst fallout of Sebastian’s boyfriend-behavior was how much time and energy it was taking. Sebastian was constantly on the go, researching the next theatre, symphony, opera, ballet or rock concert they would be going to, planning out where they would go by day to hike, rock climb or kayak. Between all of this planning and the gift shopping, meal planning, and the actual dates (including feeding Sebastian’s seemingly insatiable sexual appetite), dating Jay was consuming an enormous amount of Sebastian’s energy and schedule. It was mind-boggling that Sebastian was juggling all of this with classes, co-leading his acapella group, lacrosse, tutoring Kenny twice a week, logging 10-15 hours for Victor at his job, and training for a triathlon he had signed up for.

Sebastian told him that it was fine, but Jay knew better - he could see how tired Sebastian was and how little sleep he was getting. It was starting to affect Jay, too - it felt like he was anxious about Sebastian all the time. He did everything he could to soothe Sebastian and calm what were clearly growing anxieties about being in a relationship, but it didn’t seem like it was working. Jay hoped things would get better before all the activity started to affect his health, Kenny, his grades, or anything else important. He wanted more than anything else for Sebastian to just relax.

…

 

“He finally relaxed, but at the weirdest time!” Jay continued on the phone to Pauline, his eyes wild. “Be careful what you wish for!”

“Wait, what do you mean, ‘relaxed’?” Pauline said, holding her dessert fork in the air but forgetting to take a bite from it. “Start from the beginning. First of all, I can’t believe you ran into Derek - what are the odds?!?”

Jay looked rueful. ”Well, the odds are pretty good because it’s his parents 25th anniversary, so he’s in town, and Sebastian and I were having dinner with my parents at his parents’ favorite restaurant. I had forgotten completely about the anniversary when we made our reservation.”

“Ohhhh. Actually, sidebar, did your dad give Derek a dirty look at least?”

“My parents had left already, to get to a funeral. It was just me and Seb finishing our dessert at our outside table on the sidewalk.  We’re just sitting there drinking coffee and eating pie when - BOOM, Derek. He looked so smug as he walked up to us and he gave us both a backhanded compliment about Stanford or something, which I was shocked Sebastian didn’t have a comeback for.  

“Seb just sat there, kind of...expressionless. Then as soon as I introduced them, I thought for sure he was going to stand up and tower over Derek, you know how he does that? Instead, he just stood up and LEFT US. I couldn't believe it, I sat there with my mouth hanging open. I always thought if Bas ever met him, that he would give Derek a beating! You should have seen the nasty text he sent him from my phone last year!”

“Wait, he just ran for the hills?!? Did he even say anything?” Pauline was baffled.

“He said something about how he was sure that Derek and I had a lot to catch up on, so he would just go inside and RELAX at the bar.” Jay rolled his eyes.

“Then, when I made an excuse to go to the bathroom, I couldn’t find him! Turns out he was walking around the block. He didn’t give me any other explanation except that he thought that he didn’t think he had any business hanging around. That he didn’t want to be THAT boyfriend who wasn’t cool with me talking with my ex. He mumbled something about a Hummel treatment, Blaine’s first boyfriend, I think. Then he said he was sorry, that he didn’t realize that _I_ didn’t want to talk with Derek.  He said he misread me?”

“Has he MET you?!?” Pauline said incredulously. “You complain about Derek, like, once a week, at least!”

Jay nodded vigorously. “I know, right?!? So then, since I was so weirded out, I made up an excuse about wanting to be there for my parents after the funeral, and asked him to go back to Stanford without me. And now I feel bad. He wanted me to meet his friend Sam who is visiting from LA and everything.”

Pauline shook her head and looked sympathetic.  “You don’t need to feel bad! I think you did the healthy thing - you need a break. Seb’s been all over you ever since you got back from Santa Cruz and you clearly need some space...”

Jay looked upset. “But I lied to him...and I think he knew.”

Pauline was soothing. “It’s okay...you guys can talk about it later, tell him about your little lie and explain why. You had a little freak out, that’s okay… what matters is that you tell him about it and that you guys talk out his whole Derek thing some more, when you’ve had a little distance from it. Right now, you clearly need a little distance _from him_. And he must understand that, on some level.”

 

…

 

“I don’t understand that,” Sebastian said, looking mystified as he tapped the rim of his scotch glass. “If I did something wrong, why would he send me away? If it’s one of those ‘hiccups’ he talked about all new couples have, aren’t we supposed to talk it through and shit, like we did all the other times?” Sebastian’s eyebrows raised and he looked at Karen intently. “Maybe it’s not a hiccup. Maybe he’s breaking up with me. He’s sent me off so he can figure out how he’s going to let me down easy.” Sebastian took a few big swallows of his scotch.

Karen tried to take the glass from Sebastian.  It wasn’t clear how many drinks he had had before she had found him on the back patio, brazenly drinking in the RA's plain view. He was lucky Susie had a crush on him. “I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion. This wasn’t anything so big. He just...might have been surprised, and maybe he just needs a little space.”

Rob came downstairs at a run. He took possession of the bottle and offered a hand out. "Ok, let's get ya upstairs, Cowboy..."

 

 

Sebastian kept the glass away from Karen and threw his head back and groaned. “What is this fuckery, I can’t get this shit right even when I try to be the fucking Prince of Nice.” He looked back at Karen. “I trusted him! That’s what I’m supposed to do! But apparently he doesn’t like me nice or trusting. He said he wanted me to be “myself” - what the hell did he mean by that? So before I knew what I was doing, I was asking him question after question, like that annoying 20 Questions pink ball thing your… Violet has!”  he said, referring to Rob’s niece. He was now looking wildly at his roommate. “Suddenly I was a needy nine year old girl!”

Karen grimaced a little but then couldn’t help but look at Rob with laughing eyes.

“Violet _is_ a little clingy,” Rob said with rueful smile.

…

 

Sebastian’s “expiring” frequent flier miles had sent Sam back to Lima for a five day visit with his family. He had confided to the weekenders at Stanford just how nightmarishly homesick he was.

Blaine tried not to think about how great Sebastian was being to Sam. He had been trying not to think about anything having to do with Sebastian. How cute Brian was looking in class was helping, but his damned Sebastian-thoughts were catching up with him.

His housemates had noticed an increase in hair gel usage and Blaine was neatly buttoned up in bowties again. He wasn’t sleeping well, and by late Wednesday night, he was incredibly exhausted. Tina came home and into the kitchen to find Blaine staring bleary eyed at an Instagram photo on his laptop. He had barely been conscious that he had wandered over to the account, but as soon as he scrolled down enough to lay his eyes on a photo of beautiful, sleeping Sebastian, a picture clearly taken in _their_ bed, he was alert again instantly. He could feel warmth spreading inside his body.

↳ INSTAGRAM: @jaytbaker uploaded a new photo

This is the most thoughtful human alive. He fell asleep before I got hime but left a chocolate on my pillow.

❤65 LIKES

✐ 14 COMMENTS— view all…

 

At least there was a typo in the caption - Blaine appreciated reminders that Jay wasn’t perfect. He stared at the typo until Tina snapped the laptop shut. “Oh no, you can’t torture yourself again. We told Rachel you’ve moved on, and you’ve done great so far, and this is the last hurdle. This is the third time today I’ve caught you stalking them on instagram. Go to sleep, Blainey Days, you look so tired!” She patted his cheek and then went to her room to go change her clothes.

Petey was rummaging around in the refrigerator. “Hey, at least your creepiness is inspiring snacktime. There’s celery in here somewhere, isn’t there?” He pulled out a tupperware of celery. “I’ll get you some peanut butter and we can _stalk_ that instead, ” he said, bopping Blaine’s curly head with the tupperware and setting it down. He went to the cabinet for the Jif.

Blaine was very rigid in his chair. “I _am_ moving on...it’s just… a process. I had moved on as much as was possible, but I couldn’t have gotten to this phase until Sebastian started dating someone. So I’m just...working through it. I’m just...curious,” he said with a pout, opening up his laptop again. He rubbed his eyes from tiredness, but he just couldn’t look away.

“Curious like a John Hinckley Junior,” Harvey remarked, flipping channels in the living room.

Blaine made a face in Harvey’s direction as he used his mouse to scroll again. “You can’t move on without processing what you’re feeling,” he said wearily, looking a little insolent. “I’m just having a peek at Jay’s Instagram to get a few visuals...reading a little bit to get a few details...to...help me accept it all.” He muttered as he scrolled, “Lots of pictures of sculptures…” Then he stopped, his eyes getting wide. “Oh my god, he JUST posted a new one. Oh god, look at them,” he whispered. This was the first picture Blaine had seen of Sebastian and Jay together since they had started dating. “Oh god.” They looked so perfect. They were the perfect couple.

_↳ INSTAGRAM: @jaytbaker uploaded a new photo_

_Outtake from our photoshoot for @OutMagazine’s college edition. I picked the clothes and Seb indulged me, even though he didn’t like the blazer that much. Thanks for indulging me, Babe. And thanks to @_ [ _louispaynlinson_ ](http://louispaynlinson.tumblr.com/post/72934741913/they-are-the-reason-why-i-watching-arrow-w) _for being on my side about it, and making the whole experience so fun!_

_❤ 75 LIKES_

_✐ 14 COMMENTS— view all…_

Blaine’s heart was revving a little and he looked at Petey with irritation. “I TOLD Sebastian Jay had done some modelling. He said he didn’t know but LOOK at him, he has OBVIOUSLY done this before, he’s smouldering more than Seb! It says this is an outtake, does that mean they were photographed together and this is an outtake or did they get photographed separately? God do you think they’ll be on the cover as the college couple of the year?” He started scrolling again. “The ‘likes’ are rocketing! LOOK at all these comments! Strangers are commenting on how hot they are!”

Petey was staring at him, his eyes narrowed, not sure what to do.

“I’m gonna write him a comment.”

Harvey stood up from the couch. “Because that wouldn’t be crazy or anything...”

Blaine seemed not to have heard him. He was just nodding. “I’ll say they look great,” he said, typing. But he didn’t post his comment yet, he was drumming his fingers, thinking of what else he could say. “And…”

Harvey started walking over. “Don’t hit send, mate. They can’t know about the stalking...” he chided gently.

Petey nodded, crunching celery, “I’m with Harvey, not a good idea.”

Blaine stood up, pacing the kitchen as he groped for what else he could write. He was distracted, but he spoke rapidly in spite of how haggard he looked. “It’s fine, Jay and I have met once and we get along great. I’ll be very casual... carefree...breezy. What else can I say? Ooh I’ll say that I have been trying to get Sebastian to wear a shorter blazer for forever (which is true), and thank him for getting him on board! And I can tell him he should work on getting Sebastian to try ripped jeans!”

Petey and Harvey were looking at him strangely. Harvey said calmly, “Blaine, the inappropriate place you’ve been telling Sam to stay out of, whenever he starts talking about you and your ex? You’ve set up camp there.”

Blaine replied with some irritation, “That’s _not_ true. I’m just helping him help Sebastian with his fashion.”

Tina heard the ruckus as she walked back in the room, now in her pink pajamas.

Petey cocked his head to one side and argued, “You don’t think writing an Instagram comment to someone you’ve met ONCE, about what to do with his boyfriend...is a little, you know, out there? Especially when that boyfriend is your EX boyfriend? You’ve  classed up to kim jong il level of crazy, my friend.”

Tina watched in dismay as Blaine shook his head at Petey and Harvey and retorted, “It’s not crazy. I’m just giving him some help. Sure, Sebastian is picky about his clothes and sometimes gets irritated when he feels like you’re trying to dress him like a Ken doll, but CLEARLY Jay has gotten him to change his tune...” He glanced to one side with disdain. Then he looked back at the boys with a fire in his eye. “I just want to help him to KEEP changing Sebastian’s tune. It will be good for Sebastian. Change is good!”

Tina was speechless. Blaine had been doing so well since the summer.

“Or maybe you just want him to keep irritating Sebastian so they break up and then YOU can dress him like a Ken doll?” asked Harvey in the tone of a preschool teacher.

“They won’t fight if Jay does it _right_ ,” Blaine said hotly. “And CLEARLY he does EVERYTHING right.” He stuck his lower lip out. “Anyway, no one can break anyone else up. What happens in a relationship is about them.”

“Blaine. Don’t do this,” Tina warned, stepping slowing towards him.

Blaine’s head whipped around to look at Tina. “I’m just trying to help! I’m just making a suggestion because I think Sebastian might want to try something else that’s new! I mean if he’s so interested in new things - new photoshoots, new fuck buddies, a BOYFRIEND… He should get new jeans! New ripped jeans!” He turned back towards the laptop.

“Over my dead body,” Tina threatened, seizing Blaine by the arm. He struggled out of her grip but she jumped on his back in an attempt to tackle him to the ground. “No!!!”

“Ugh, god Tay Tay leggo!” Blaine was able to keep staggering toward the computer even though Tina was still hanging off his back, still attempting to force him to the ground.

“Helpppp!” Tina yelled, but Blaine was swerving so wildly that Petey and Harvey could only lurch to each grab one of Tina’s legs.

“AUGGGHHHHHHH!!!” Blaine hauled all three of them a foot across the kitchen floor.

“Holy crap, who are you, Bruce Banner?” Pete yelped.

“He needs new jeans!” Blaine yelled.

“Blaine, think of how you’ll look!” Harvey yelled.

“No no no no no!” Tina shouted.

“RIPPED JEANS, HE NEEDS RIPPED JEANS!” Blaine hollered.    

“You are literally crazy pants!” Petey bellowed.

They had reached the chair in front of the laptop and Petey dropped Tina’s leg. He scrambled around, his long arms flailing to grab the laptop before Blaine could.

But Blaine had finally stopped fighting, and Tina and Harvey let go.

Petey held the laptop tight and flat against his chest, a little out of breath. “Nope. Not happenin’, buddy. We are not going to let you do this.”

Blaine looked at him grumpily. “Fine.” He turned to go to his room.

After a beat, Harvey said, “He’s got his phone and there’s an IPad in there, right?”

“BLAINE!!!!!!” they all hollered as they dashed after him. Blaine turned and saw them and started to run down the hall. The other three on his heels.

“No, don’t do it Blainey!”

“There are better ways to process!”

“If he gets in there and locks the door it’s all over!” Harvey shouted to Tina.

Petey’s long legs were the fastest and he was able to tackle Blaine just as he entered the bedroom door, launching them on his bed. “Won’t...let...you...do it!” he grunted as Blaine squirmed to get out from under him.

“Jeans! The jeans!” groaned Blaine, wrestling with Petey. But Harvey and Tina had been close behind and he was having to contend with all three of them, and he finally relented, pinned by his arms and legs by his friends.

Tina between breaths, said urgently, “He’s moving on, okay?” She wouldn’t let go of his arm quite yet, though, and she looked tenderly at him. “If it’s not Jay, it’s going to be someone else.”

Blaine was panting too, and staring up in her eyes with a hurt expression.

Pete looked down at him sternly. “And anything you say on that instagram is just going to make you look jelly or crazy. It could even make the new guy tell Sebastian that he shouldn’t talk to you. You’re always talking about how you’re going to be friends again someday. This could prevent that from happening. Is that what you want?”

”No,” Blaine said with a pout, still breathing hard.

Tina smoothed the hair out of his face. “If we get off of you, do you think you can sleep?”

“No,” was the defeated reply. They all let go and he sat up slowly, his expression soft. “Thanks, though. Thanks for keeping me sane - just barely.”

Tina sat down on the bed next to him. “All in a day’s work as a friend,” she said, looking humorous.

Blaine put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “I’m so lucky to have you as a friend.”

Tina chuckled, “Sam sure would have come in handy tonight, though. He can tackle you in one.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Sam would have been dictating the Instagram comments to me.”

 

…

 

After they had all changed clothes, Blaine printed a sheaf of music and brought it with them to the open mic night at Hollywood’s Pig and Whistle. It was a long shot, but if there was a drummer and bass player also there, he could be in luck. He had given Petey, who was an accomplished guitarist, the music to look at in the car.

Sure enough. after he, Tina and Petey had charmed the room with a few Queen and Billy Joel acapella songs he was able to chat with some other musicians lined up to play. Two of them agreed to bring their gear up and play Blaine’s new song.

As they waited, Blaine addressed Petey and the rest of his cobbled together band, his words tumbling out as his adrenaline started to pump. He had never performed an original song of his in public. “I didn’t think this song would see the light of day outside my bedroom. But tonight Petey and my other friends helped me see that maybe I might need to perform it as therapy.  I know it’s irrational, I don’t even mean what the lyrics say, at least not in the literal sense, but I think the feeling of the song something people can relate to, and it might help people. So it could be a good pop song?  I’m actually going to sing it tonight a bit more sassy than I felt the night I wrote it. I mean, hey, if I’m going to have to mend a broken heart, I might as well have some fun while I’m at it, right?”

The band laughed with him, and they heard their number called. Petey put his arm around Blaine and kissed the top of his head. “Let’s do this,” he said with a grin as they went up to the stage.

_[Listen to[ _“Any of Those Things” on our YouTube Playlist._](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk9G7OyKwLM&list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh&index=111) _]__

 

_Last time you were mine, I was just a kid_

_I didn't know there were consequences for what I did_

_Then at times it was good, though when it got bad_

_I didn't have much pride, I gave it everything I had._  
  
_Cut to today,_

_I've lived enough to know that love is such a mess._

_I have to say that seeing you with someone new has got me pretty curious._

 

_Is he gonna kiss you in the rain?_

_Is he gonna cook on Sunday?_

_Is he gonna love you?_

_No, he won't do any of those things._

 

_Is he gonna take you when he goes?_

_When it's out of his way._

_Is he gonna miss you?_

_No, he won't do any of those things._

_No, oh, no, he won't do any of those things._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Remember there was a time when we used to laugh,_

_You said nobody else could make you do that._

_Sometimes I got it right, even when I got it wrong,_

_I really thought that you meant I was the only one._

 

_Cut to today, I saw you smiling with the diamond on your hand._

_I know that this, I can see behind it, you're hiding something you don't understand._

 

_Is he gonna kiss you in the rain?_

_Is he gonna cook on Sunday?_

_Is he gonna love you?_

_No, he won't do any of those things._

 

_Is he gonna take you when he goes?_

_When it's out of his way._

_Is he gonna miss you?_

_No, he won't do any of those things._

_No, oh, no, he won't do any of those things._

 

_Something in me is still with you, do you feel it too?_

_Something's asking, are you still in my heart? Is this really you?_

_Oh, you tell them…_

 

_Is he gonna kiss you? (No)_

_Is he gonna kiss you? (No)_

_No, he won't, no, he won't, hmmmm._

_Is he gonna nah nah nah?_

_Is he gonna nah nah nah?_

_Is he gonna... He won't do any of those things._

 

When they had finished, Blaine gestured for the band to join him and they all bowed, gratified by the applauding and cheering room. But as he mopped the sweat off his brow and walked off the stage, Blaine’s face was more sober. “ _Enough_ ,” he muttered with conviction.

After he got home he showered, followed his nighttime grooming ritual, and got into bed. His body was tired, but his mind was still buzzing a bit from the energy of the club. It was odd not to have Sam snoring in the next bed. It was noteworthy, however, that he found it oddly peaceful, not lonely.

But before he could sleep, he wanted to finally write to Kevin. It was strange that they hadn’t chatted yet today, and he found that he missed it. He hadn’t had time in the hubbub with his friends and the emotional tide of the night.

There was something about the medium of online chat and his relationship with Kevin that lent itself to more intimate conversations than the daily ones he had with his housemates. Chats with Kevin were not only a safe space to vent about and discuss the day, but also a place where he wondered and reflected on his life’s broader themes. Maybe it was because Kevin provided a perspective that the others didn’t - perhaps because he was a little older. He had more confidence and was such a calming presence. Blaine was often the calm one in their “Treehouse” household, so it was nice to have someone else soothe _him_ after a madcap day around campus and/or Hollywood.

It was pleasant to check in every night with someone he liked so much. He used to talk and text with Sebastian everyday, but those conversations were different. Blaine got such a thrill from them, and was a bit bereft when he didn’t hear from Sebastian for a few hours. He didn’t quite live or die for every communication, but he was somewhere on that spectrum. He recognized now that it was because he was so anxious to do whatever it took to make his relationship with Sebastian perfect.

This was probably better - having someone in his life who provided sort of the same kind of regularity, without taking so much energy. Maybe that was how it should be - this could be the balance he needed.

 

_BlaineAnders: Have you ever had a day that felt like it lasted a lifetime?_

 

Blaine was surprised to get an immediate reply - it was so late.

 

_KevinGMartin: Seeing as it’s 3AM, you may have actually lived that lifetime, died and come back from the Lazarus pit. :)_

_BlaineAnders: LOL! Okay I laughed WAY too hard at that. I think I’m hypertired_

_KevinGMartin: Haha. Better than the other thing you and your brother came up with...being sleepdrunk?_

_BlaineAnders: Haha, could be a little bit of both_

_KevinGMartin: Was it a good long day or a bad long day?_

_BlaineAnders: Good, then bad, but it ended okay... That’s why I wasn’t around tonight, I had to deal with the bad and make it not so bad. Sorry to disappear, I wanted you to know that I hadn’t forgotten about you_

_KevinGMartin: I knew you hadn’t. But I’m glad you checked in. So you’re okay now?_

 

Blaine grew reflective about what his most honest answer was to that question, and why.

 

_BlaineAnders: Yes_

_BlaineAnders: Have you ever been hurt by someone you really, really, care about? And then they hurt you again? But somehow, you still can’t hate them? So you’re wondering if you should hate them, and you’re wondering if you should let go of them completely, like cut them out of your life? Like even if they couldn’t help what they did to hurt you, is it better to just cut ties? I’m just not sure if this is a pathetic inability to let go of someone who I should let go of, or if it’s just that I care about this person too much to not have them in my life?  You know, because love should be above all else?_

_KevinGMartin: You are not pathetic. You just have a big heart. And you’re making me think of a quote I read once_

_Let me find it. Brb_

_KevinGMartin:_

"It’s amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces."

 

[ x ](https://www.harpercollins.com/cr-112099/ella-harper)

_BlaineAnders: That’s beautiful, thank you ❤️ Where do you get that from?_

_KevinGMartin: That all-knowing, judgment-spewing beast called Tumblr_

_BlaineAnders: Hahahaha_

_KevinGMartin: May I ask, were you talking your 2nd boyfriend?_

_BlaineAnders: Yes. Sorry I was vague, I didn’t know if you’d want to hear about him_

_KevinGMartin: I don’t mind hearing about him. I like hearing about you, and he’s part of who you are_

_BlaineAnders: That’s exactly what I was thinking, about all of this. Get out of my head!_

_BlaineAnders: [unsent] You’re amazing_

_KevinGMartin: But I LIKE the inside of your head! It’s fascinating! I should sell tickets_

_ _

_BlaineAnders: hahahah_

_BlaineAnders: So to remove all the vague, what happened is that last Sunday I found out that my ex is now with this gorgeous guy who he has been friends with for a year. My ex and I were together for 6 months and never got to the stage where we called each other “boyfriend,” but he is already calling Jay his boyfriend after like 12 seconds.  Tonight I saw a picture of them for the first time and I guess it really sunk in, that they’re together, and I got jealous. I was jealous of Jay last year and he and Seb were only friends. Jay is actually wonderful, I met him once, his existence just plays on all of my insecurities. I was so paranoid about being dumped for him last year_

_KevinGMartin: Ah, I was wondering why you were a little off on Sunday_

_BlaineAnders: I have come such a long way since all that, I’m proud of myself for it - so it took me by surprise that I still had those feelings left. I don’t think that it’s because I think we should get back together.  I’ve really accepted the break up, I understand what both of us did to make that happen. I think it was seeing them look like the perfect couple - looking like they have the perfect relationship I’ve wanted my whole life. Now I’m trying hard to remind myself that I don’t actually want perfection anymore...but it’s not always easy_

_KevinGMartin: That makes sense. And that’s definitely not easy_

_BlaineAnders: I want both of them to be happy, really. And I know they aren’t ACTUALLY perfect, especially not Sebastian, hahah.  I’m just a recovering perfection-aholic  lol_

_KevinGMartin: Most of this country wants to be perfect -  you’re ahead of the curve by even trying to get away from that_

_BlaineAnders: You’ve helped with that._

_BlaineAnders: I don’t think I’m going to cut him out of my life, even if it keeps hurting some. It will just take time, and eventually it won’t sting at all. I have too much to lose if I cut him out. He is a really amazing person, even if we’re not cut out to be together_

_KevinGMartin: He would have a lot to lose, too_

_BlaineAnders: ❤️_

_BlaineAnders: But enough about me. How was your day?_

_KevinGMartin: Good. Nothing too exciting. Just finally found the tattooed Barbie doll I was looking for -  for my niece. SLEEP, we’ll catch up more tomorrow. I’m going to go pass out_

_BlaineAnders: Yay for the Badass Barbie!_

_BlaineAnders: Good night. Thanks for always being there.❤️_

_KevinGMartin: Anytime. Good night❤️_

 

Blaine was closing his laptop when he heard the notification of another Telegram chat message. He smiled and lifted the lid, wondering what last thing Kevin wanted to say. But it wasn’t Kevin. It was a PM from Brian Tucker, of all people.  Brian was in a Telegram group chat with all of their MT (Musical Theater) classmates, but he had never sent Blaine a private message.

_TheBrianTucker: Just saw you and Petey rockin out at the Pig & Whistle, he posted the video, you guys were great _

_BlaineAnders: Thanks. We rocked a little too hard, I’m beat_

_TheBrianTucker: I should let you sleep, then_

_BlaineAnders: I’m not that sleepy. I’m tired, but I’m too wired still_

_TheBrianTucker: I’m a junkie for that kind of energy. But before your start crashing from it, I just wanted to say that I take back everything I've been giving you grief about. I get why you wouldn’t want to date._

_BlaineAnders: What do you mean?_

_TheBrianTucker: You weren’t just singing a song tonight_

 

Blaine’s eyebrows raised but then he looked wise. At least he knew there was emotional truth in his performance.

 

_BlaineAnders: True. I was also playing keyboards :)_

_TheBrianTucker: Come on now, don’t make me say it_

_BlaineAnderson: Ok, ok, sorry. :) Yes, that song was about an ex-something_

_TheBrianTucker: Which means your whole rule about not dating MT folks isn’t just about avoiding MT gossip in school_

_BlaineAnders: No._

_BlaineAnders: I don’t think_

_BlaineAnders: Maybe_

_BlaineAnders: It’s a long story_

_TheBrianTucker: I’ll let you go to bed, you sound tired. But maybe you tell me the long story over coffee this week. I promise not to hit on you_

_TheBrianTucker: I don’t think_

_TheBrianTucker: Maybe_

_TheBrianTucker: It’s a long story_

_BlaineAnders: LOL_

_TheBrianTucker: I kid. No more corny come-ons. You're actually inspiring me to take a break from dating myself. I’ve been feeling kind of stale. Plus, no one is standing out lately_

_BlaineAnders: I recommend it. Just make sure you keep busy. But not too busy. I recommend yoga and meditation. And for the love of god, stay away from social media_

_TheBrianTucker: Lol what happened_

_BlaineAnders: Masochism and a near-miss involving ripped jeans. I’ll tell you over coffee, the sleepiness is hitting me_

_TheBrianTucker: nighty nightttt_

_BlaineAnders: Good night :)_

 

...

 

Jay looked down over at Sebastian, who was still in bed in the morning for once, but not for a good reason. The night before, Jay had been with Rob, waiting for Sebastian to come back from a shopping trip. He had expected, with a sigh, that it was for yet another extravagant gift for Jay.

What he did not expect was for Sebastian’s boss to come in with a pale looking Sebastian, who had fainted at the Burberry store. The salesgirls had found Victor’s business card in Sebastian’s wallet and called him.

Victor had told Jay not to worry, that it was just Sebastian’s hypoglycemia and probably some exhaustion. - it was the end of the quarter, after all. Sebastian had been quiet and stony faced, but Jay knew he was embarrassed. After Victor left, Rob went to his room, knowing not to fuss over his roommate. Jay, in his worry, had missed that cue and hovered too close to Sebastian, telling him to take off his shoes and sit down, smoothing his boyfriend’s hair and inspecting his color some more.  He asked if he had eaten dinner, insisting that they go to bed early and sleep in for once.

They had had dinner in near silence. Sebastian was so tense that Jay thought he might snap in half.  Not surprisingly, they ended up fighting at bedtime. Sort of. Sebastian was clearly irritable, but the way he lashed out was via a series of frustrated flare-ups, rather than laying into Victor for driving him home when he could do it himself, or lecturing Jay for fussing over him too much. Jay thought he might implode. He really wished his boyfriend would EX-plode, the way he used to - before they were dating. Sebastian’s refusal to slow down and stop doing too much for them was making Jay irritable, too. Sebastian didn’t want his help with anything. And even if he did, it was becoming clear that Sebastian didn’t know what he wanted help with.  

Jay was frustrated at his own inability to help Sebastian see what wasn’t working, and frantic with worry. “You’re killing yourself for no reason, I’ve told you that you really don’t need to…”

Sebastian yanked the drawer open to find the toothpaste. “I’m not blaming you for my passing out. I’m hypoglycemic and I forgot to eat, it’s not a big deal. I’m not killing myself,” his voice was straining to be nice. “Can you just...stop following me around? I just need to put my feet up.”

“I’m sorry for wanting to take care of my own boyfriend!” Jay knew he was baiting Sebastian, but he didn’t care in that moment.

Instead of lashing back, Sebastian just looked weirdly calm. “I’m going to bed...” he growled.

Jay inhaled deeply and let loose without thinking. “Oh my god would you just fight with me? You’ve been tiptoeing around me since we started dating - you’re like an alien version of you!”

“I don’t want to fight,” Sebastian said with tersely, moving to take Jay’s hands. He let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry to worry you, I won’t forget to eat again.”

Jay let go of one hand and rubbed his forehead. “I hope you’ll take care of yourself better, but I don’t want you to do it for _me_ , I want you to do it for _you_.”

Sebastian pulled him to his feet and put his arms around him. He visibly relaxed, but Jay did not. “Doing things for you IS for me,” he said, holding Jay tightly. Jay sighed and led them to bed, but said he was too tired for sex. Sebastian grew tense again quickly.

It was ironic that thousand dollar Cavalli sheets could be wrapped around two such uncomfortable people.

 

The next morning, all Jay could think of was an old Howie Day song that he had fallen in love with in high school:

 _[Listen to_ [ _“Collide” on our YouTube Playlist._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk9G7OyKwLM&list=PL7KGBxnHJ3GWJSnR7GyU8C4iwtXD2awqh&index=113) _]_

 _The dawn is breaking_  
_A light shining through_  
_You're barely waking_ _  
_ And I'm tangled up in you, yeah

 _I'm open, you're closed_  
_Where I follow, you'll go_  
_I worry I won't see your face_ _  
_ Light up again

 _Even the best fall down sometimes_  
_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_ _  
_ Out of the doubt that fills my mind

 _I somehow find you and I collide_  
_Do do do do do_  
_Do do do do do_  
_Do do do do do_ _  
_ Do do do do do

 _I'm quiet you know_  
_You make a first impression_  
_I've found I'm scared to know_ _  
_ I'm always on your mind

 _Even the best fall down sometimes_  
_Even the stars refuse to shine_  
_Out of the back you fall in time_ _  
_ I somehow find you and I collide

Jay, too, was worried he wouldn’t see Sebastian’s face light up again. It was like Sebastian was a different person. Gone was the freewheeling, charming rogue with the surprisingly big heart. In his place was an exhausted, anxious, mess. Sebastian wasn’t listening to Jay when it came to taking care of himself. Jay still couldn’t believe that the only starting sophomore on Stanford’s nationally ranked lacrosse team, his thoroughbred of a boyfriend, had fainted and was weak from exhaustion.

Sebastian smiled these days, but his smirk and sarcasm seemed to have disappeared. He chuckled, but his hearty laugh was missing. Worst of all, it seemed as if the adorable giggle that escaped when he was really tickled had never existed. Jay would give anything to see Sebastian’s face light up like a little boy again. The last time it had was when they had taken Kenny to the batting cages. Now when they saw Kenny, Sebastian was always distracted by his phone: planning something, shopping, or catching up on homework he was always behind on.

The love Sebastian had for him didn’t feel healthy. It felt like Sebastian was holding on so hard, and it was a little suffocating. It wasn’t that Jay didn’t appreciate how much his boyfriend cared, it was that he was worried that Sebastian was losing himself in the process. The saddest part was, no matter how much and how many ways he tried to tell him, he wasn’t entirely sure Sebastian truly understood or believed in how much Jay loved him in return. Jay wondered if this was rooted in the fact that Sebastian’s parents had not paid enough attention to him when he was growing up. Maybe Sebastian had trouble believing anyone loved him as much as he wanted them to - or needed them to. Maybe this was part of went wrong in the relationship with Blaine. Maybe it was too soon after Blaine, maybe Sebastian had never fully processed what happened there. Jay wanted to help him, but he wasn’t sure how.

Jay wished with his whole heart that Sebastian would talk to him about any of this. When Jay brought any of it up, Sebastian usually just acknowledged him and then got up to do something else, or otherwise changed the subject. It was starting to annoy Jay, and perhaps in retaliation, he had started to become more of a nag. It felt like he was always scolding Sebastian to sit down, slow down, and to stop fussing. He didn’t even realize he was doing it most of the time, and sometimes he became so irritating that Sebastian would snap at him. Then of course he would immediately apologize and in short order, buy him a particularly expensive gift.

This was not who Jay noted to be, and he did didn’t want to be bringing out this side of Sebastian. Jay was so upset that he started talking to his friends about his worries - first his best friend Pauline, then his neighbor Karen. He didn’t know what he had been thinking when he had vented to Karen - he knew Sebastian was an incredibly private person - but it had just tumbled out of him. It blew up in his face of course, when Karen started asking Sebastian about how things were going with Jay. Sebastian smelled a rat and had come fuming home. But again, he wouldn’t fight, which aggravated Jay even more.

Jay felt sick - he didn’t want to break up. The good moments were so good, and he did love Sebastian, truly. He didn’t want to lose him, or to hurt him. He hoped he wouldn’t have to. He just didn’t know. What he did know was that he had to get some rest and take some time before he could get his head on straight about it all. He got up and wrote a note, pinning it to his pillow:

 

_Hi Babe,_

_Hope you slept well, I’m so glad you slept in.  Went to visit my parents. I’m not mad, just stressed out - end of the quarter and just everything.  I just need a little space to clear my head. I’ll be back Sunday night._

_Love you_

_J_

 

Sebastian woke up, read the note, and had two glasses of scotch for breakfast. Then he went back to bed. After staring at the ceiling blankly for five minutes, he grabbed his phone.

 

_SEBASTIAN: Jay left again for his parents’ and I’m a needy chick_

_KAREN: I’ll be right over_

 

…

 

Karen spent the morning sobering Sebastian up and reassuring him while she cooked for him. “You might not want to hear this, but space might actually be good thing. It’ll give you some time to…” she bit her lip to think of how to put it, “...relax into what comes next. In fact, maybe _you_ should be the one to suggest that you take an even longer break. It’s almost finals, you could stop and focus on that. Then over Christmas you both can think about what you want.”

Sebastian brow furrowed. “What is there to think about?” he said before taking a huge bite of his eggs. He didn’t want Jay thinking about breaking up with him. It made more sense for Sebastian to stay close, to make sure that Jay didn’t have any crazy ideas like that.

Karen seemed so certain, though, so he split the difference and told Jay that they should take a break until after finals. It went against everything in his gut, but he was questioning his gut.

This meant that he wasn’t going to spend Thanksgiving with the Baker family. It was too bad, as the Bakers were in the category of families that Sebastian actually liked - the others being Rob’s, Blaine’s, Meatbox’s, and Santana’s (except her abuela, he couldn’t stand Abuela.) He usually just tolerated most other parents. But it had been not at all hard to imagine a life where he saw Jay’s smart, articulate dad on a regular basis.  Mr. Baker was more irritated by Jay’s ex-boyfriend Derek (aka The Douche) than Sebastian was, which was amusing, and he was active in the Democratic party, which was admirable. Jay’s funny, charming mother was easy to be with, too - she had spent a junior year abroad in France and had enjoyed talking to Sebastian about Paris.

But instead of spending time with his boyfriend in San Francisco, Sebastian was stuck in Rob’s small town playing checkers with Rob’s nine year old niece. The rest of the family seemed to sense his mood and had been trying to give him space, too. Only Baron, the family dog, stayed close to Sebastian.

Rob ventured into the room. “When you’re done, want to go throw the football around?”

“No,” Sebastian said, not looking up from the checkerboard.

“It could do you some good, you haven’t wanted to do anything all weekend…” Rob glanced at Violet. He didn’t want to get into any specifics in front of her.

Sebastian kept his eyes trained on the board, sulking and looking like a four year old. “I do things. I pretend to watch football. I avoid people. I broke into the liquor cabinet. I ate my weight in your mom’s cookies. And I’m kicking Violet’s ass.”

“You’re not supposed to use that word.” Violet said seriously, not looking up from the game.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows at her. “No, YOU’RE not supposed to use that word.”

Violet double jumped Sebastian’s pieces. “King me.”

Sebastian stood up. “Maybe throwing the ball around isn’t such a bad idea,” he said, arching an eyebrow at Violet. “I’ll finishing kicking your sorry little butt later.”

Violet nodded. “I hope your broken heart heals soon,” she said still studying the board seriously.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows at her and studied her for a moment. “It’s not broken,” he said soberly. “It’s just...waiting.”

 

…

 

The waiting was over after finals.

 

Rob was coming home just as a bleary eyed Jay was leaving, He gave Jay’s shoulder a squeeze before the brokenhearted boy left, then went to Sebastian’s bedroom door and stood there in silence for a minute. He finally rapped in the door lightly. He was quiet and calm as usual, but he spoke loud enough to be heard. “Seb, it’s Rob. Just wanted to let you know that I’m home.”

 

He paused, and added with marked compassion, “I’m here. I’m right here.” 

 

Rob sat down and leaned his back to the door, but Sebastian didn’t come out. 

 

...

 

_KevinGMartin: Your package arrived, THANK YOU. I can’t believe you did this right before finals - amazing_

_BlaineAnders: It was a good study break. I’m so glad it arrived before you left. I wanted you to have it before Christmas, but I didn’t want you to have to lug it all the way back from New York_

_OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN ITOPEN IT OPEN ITOPEN IT OPEN ITOPEN IT OPEN IT_

_KevinGMartin: Hahah only if you open yours too. I didn’t say it when you got it, but I don’t understand you people who wait until Christmas to open every single gift.  How can you stand it?_

_BlaineAnders: Idk, tbh. These things were pounded into me as a child._

_KevinGMartin: You do know what this calls for, right?_

_BlaineAnders: What?_

_KevinGMartin: A VIDEO SKYPE_

_KevinGMartin: Or a Facetime, or whatever!_

_BlaineAnders: YES!!!! Whatever!_

_KevinGMartin: lol good thing you said yes, and fast, Or it would have been Walkin’ in a Winter Awkwardland_

_BlaineAnders: Aw of course I want to! I’ve just been too shy to ask myself._

_KevinGMartin: ok ok ok lol. I was worried you would say no because you think I actually AM Ultron_

_BlaineAnders: LMAO. My roommate wants you to join our avengers chat, btw_

_KevinGMartin: What’s your handle?_

_BlaineAnders: on skype bowtieblaine_

_KevinGMartin: Don’t go disappearing_

_BlaineAnders: But I have to put my makeup on!!! :3_

_KevinGMartin: lmao_

In a few seconds Kevin’s picture came up in the Skype window. As he clicked to accept the call, Blaine realized that because his calls in Italy were on his Ipad or phone, the last Skype call he had had on his laptop was with Sebastian. It wasn’t an anguished thought, though. It just was.

He smiled when Kevin appeared on his screen.  He was more attractive than his profile picture.  Blaine donned a dramatically suspicious expression. “Ultron, you won’t get away with this, I will tell the other Avengers that you are building an army of drones!” he said, striking a pose.

Kevin looked merry. “Just open the package, Dr. Banner…” he said with amusement.

Blaine let out a hearty laugh. “I would totally pin you as The Hulk, too!”

Kevin’s laugh was warm and  Blaine visibly relaxed at the sight and sound. They looked happily at each other for a moment. Even by video call Blaine could tell that the chats had not left out much - Kevin had all of the easy, natural, grounded energy that had come across in their Telegram conversations. Blaine was a little dazzled by Kevin’s smile, though - his quiet charisma was undersold by in the self-deprecating banter online and the pleasant by tame profile picture.

Blaine scolded playfully, “Nope, you have to open yours first. I was excited about you getting it before, but now that I get to see your face I won’t stand waiting a minute more.”

Kevin chuckled and saluted the webcam. “Yessir!” He opened the parcel, singing softly, “Brown paper packages, tied up with string…”

Blaine clapped. “That’s right, ladies and gents, he’s singing Sound of Music songs, and he’s not at gunpoint! My work is done.”

Kevin looked up at him with real affection. “It’s so beautiful…let me guess, you wrapped it yourself? It’s too perfect to open, almost.”

Blaine smiled sweetly at him but then started to chant, “ _OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT...”_

“Okay, okay, okay!” Kevin tore at the paper and a half dozen shiny new books tumbled out, large ones that contained the full librettos for _Book of Mormon, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Hair, Avenue Q, Rent,_ and _In The Heights._ His eyebrows raised as he looked over the titles. “Wow, Blaine, you shouldn’t have...these are fantastic….” He looked up with a grateful face that Blaine instantly adored.

“Do you already have the Book of Mormon and Hedwig ones?”

“No,” Kevin said, smiling. “I didn’t even know these kinds of books existed!”

“Teach you so much I still have, young Jedi…” Blaine squeaked, his eyes dancing.

Kevin chuckled. “Your turn, Master Yoda…”

Blaine tore open his gift quickly and when he saw what it was he let out a little gasp. “Oh wow…” He looked up at Kevin, his eyes luminous.

It was an older edition of the Peanuts Treasury, the same edition as the one Blaine had read under his father’s desk in his study growing up. This one was quite battered, with no dust jacket, but it was the same pale blue and black cover Blaine had described to Kevin. There was an oversized Post-It note on the cover that read, “ _So you aren’t tempted to steal Dad’s.”_ Blaine’s heart warmed and he looked up again, into Kevin’s twinkling, gray-blue eyes. “Thank you,” he said with fond smile.

“It looked well loved, as I imagine your dad’s is.” Kevin said, looking pleased. “There’s something else, inside the cover,” he added.

Blaine opened the cover and found an adorable bowtie gift card holder inside. Inside it was a gift card for his favorite LA coffee shop chain, The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. There was another post-it, very small this time.  “Can we meet up and spend this together?”

Blaine looked up to see that Kevin’s smile was a little smaller this time, and that his kind eyes were a little shy.

“I’d love to,” Blaine said sincerely. “I’d love that.”

 

...

 

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Victor joked, in his calmly friendly way, as he entered the UCSF (University of California, San Francisco) hospital room.

Sebastian lifted his head and the part of his upper body, ignoring the throbbing pain in several different places of his body. He adjusted the sling on his arm and squirmed inwardly. “What are you doing here?”

“Just wanted to see how you’re doing.” Victor looked keenly at Sebastian, up and down, and decided that the boy was okay. He was probably in a fair amount of pain, evidenced by the tears being blinked away, but he didn’t look drastically hurt in any way. “I see you’re doing fine. Good.”

Sebastian’s brow furrowed at the sight of the ranking partner of Fenwick and West, who was supposed be 30 miles south in the Silicon Valley. “Seriously, What are you doing here? You have that big meeting with...Accel Partners today, don’t you?” he asked with as much professionalism as he could scrape up.

Victor shrugged, “I’ll join in by phone on my way back.  It’ll do Terri good to handle it on her own for awhile.” He slid his hands into his pockets and looked around. “How did you score your own room? For a bike accident that requires no surgery?”

Sebastian winced as he adjusted his position a little. “Dad,” he answered. He looked back at Victor and added uncomfortably, “You didn’t have to come.”

“Your dad doesn’t ask for much, so when he asks, I do it,” Victor said, wishing Sebastian could have heard all the anxiety in Bill’s voicemail. “He’s worried. You’ll understand when you’re a parent - this is the worst part about it, when your kid gets hurt. Is your mom flying over? I can only imagine what a state she’s in.”

Sebastian replied listlessly, “She’s in the middle of a show - but yeah, she wanted to come anyway. “I told her I wasn’t going to come to Paris next year at all if she did. She’s being ridiculous, I’m only staying overnight because they want to be absolutely sure that I don’t have a concussion (they don’t think I do), and for tests they are probably only doing because Dad is breathing down their neck.”

Sebastian hadn’t even been planning to be in Paris anyway. The last thing he wanted was to be pitied right now.  He had even told Rob the same lie that he told his mother - that he was going to go to Ohio for Christmas, to spend it with his boring Aunt Laura and Nina, his grandmother. Spending Christmas pretending to be fine, even to the Dean Family, would be even more depressing than Christmas alone.

He had told his mother that he wasn’t up for the long flight to Paris because he had the flu. In another week he was going to tell her and Nina that his symptoms had worsened and that he wasn’t up for even a flight to Ohio.

The upside of the bike accident was that it provided an even more believable reason. He could tell everyone in a week that his doctor had said that his arm wasn’t up for flying.

Victor looked sympathetic. “She’s probably just as worried as your dad. Again, it comes with the territory of being a parent. Your Pop’s wondering if he should skip the cruise with us to be in Ohio when you get there.”

Sebastian shook his head, and spoke with more effort - he was aching more all over and now he had to start lying sooner than he had anticipated. “Tell him to go on the cruise. I’m not going to go to Ohio for Christmas. The doc says even that flight won’t be a good idea. I have friends here to do the holiday thing with,” he lied. He wished more than anything that he was spending Christmas with Jay. “Tell them all to calm themselves,” he said wearily.

“Ok,” Victor said, his eyes narrowing for a second. Sebastian was more morose and harder to read than usual - probably because of the painkillers. “Do you want fresh clothes for tomorrow when you check out? Ella is back from school and I can send her to get your things if you give me a key. She’s been wanting to meet you anyway.”

“No, it’s fine - I’ve moved out of the dorms for the break. I’m at the Mark.” He had gone to the luxurious San Francisco landmark for comfort. It was his family’s hotel of choice in San Francisco, and he associated it with better times with Blaine. But even the Intercontinental Mark Hopkins hotel had been able to prevent his pathetic self from being so distracted that he cycled in the way of a similarly distracted tourist driving an SU-eco-travesty-V in the Marina.

And to think, he had thought that Jay would think he was so healthy to bring his bike up to the city. It served him right. Everything had blown up in his face in no small part because he had been trying to be something he wasn’t for Jay. Wandering around a city on a bicycle in jeans was stupid. He only ever cycled in his gear, going full speed, to train for a triathlon or to shake up his workout routine. What the fuck had he become?

“You’ll need a ride home, though. You can’t drive like that,” Victor was pointing out.

“I’ll get my Town Car,” Sebastian said, feeling groggy again, but summoning all of his remaining strength to appear as alert and able-bodied as possible. “Seriously, having your daughter spend her Christmas break driving all the way up to the city to cart a total stranger around is insane. Thanks, but I’m good.” Sebastian heard himself and wondered if dating Jay had made him a more polite person. Jay had done so much for him, more than he had fully realized when they were together. He felt like crying again, damn it.

“She thinks you’re handsome, or gorgeous or something… so she probably wouldn’t think it’s a waste of time,” Victor said, smiling. “You’re lucky you’re gay or we’d be having one of those stern dad conversations.”

Sebastian would normally have smirked but he just didn’t have it in him.

“Okay, no Ella, and I’ll get out of your face, then,” Victor said, looking wise. “But I should get a picture, so your folks can see how good you look, you know, that you still have both arms and both legs, and that your head is still attached.”

“God, you are all _so_ annoying.”

Victor backed up to get a better angle. “I’m just the messenger. Smile a little - the better the picture is, the less they’ll bother you.”

 

Sebastian mustered energy to give the camera a grumpy s thumbs up for the photo. But his tiredness hit him like a ton of bricks afterwards. Victor was moving closer to the bed. “Call me if you want anything, I don’t leave for the cruise until Friday. If you and your friends feel like going down to stay at our place while we’re gone, let me know. My neighbor has a key.” He reached the head of the bed and looked down with a paternal expression. Then he lightly stroked Sebastian’s forehead and the top of his hair. He spoke quietly. “Get some rest.”

The small touch did Sebastian more good than he realized. “Yeah. Will do, Boss,” he said, looking tired, but not ungrateful. “Now get out of here.”

As soon as Victor was gone, all the energy drained out of Sebastian. He turned on the TV immediately and was asleep within minutes.

 

…

 

Blaine almost missed the envelope in the pile of mail on entryway table, between the stacks of catalogues he and Tina received, the junk mail, and the bills. The few friends he knew who sent Christmas cards would send them to his parents’ house in Ohio.

There was no name on the envelope, just a Los Angeles return address. Who was sending Christmas cards during Dead Week (the last week of the quarter)? No classes were even held at UCLA during Dead Week, so that students could study for for final exams.

The envelope was gorgeous, of thick, textured, creamy paper, and inside was a pink card - not a Christmas card at all.

  
Inside was an unfamiliar scrawl.

_Blaine,_

_Hope your Dead Week’s been killer, hah. This card is not at all Christmassy, but when I was in the store I saw it and thought of you. And not just because it’s Shakespeare._

_I have wondered about how college might change me. It was a weird thing to think about, because I actually really like who I am already. But then I met you, and I realized I don’t really have to change. Of all the people I’ve met out here, you are the one who seems the most yourself already, which is great. Hope that makes sense._

_I guess what I’m really trying to say is that I’m glad I met you and that we are in this together. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better. No cheesey pickup lines. Almost definitely. ;) In the meantime, Merry Christmas._

_Brian_

 

As he tucked the card in the edge of his dresser mirror, Blaine’s face was soft. It was shaping up to be a happy new year.  
  
…

 

When Sebastian woke he was groggy, and his grief was back, seeking attention. He shifted onto his good arm so he could curl up as much as he could, tubes, sling and crappy hospital bedclothes notwithstanding. He missed Jay intensely, and it sucked to be just across town but unable to call him. If he had not screwed everything up, Jay would have been at his side, and tomorrow they would have been at the Baker home. He would have been in Jay’s parents’ kitchen, eating his dad’s cooking before taking Jay to see the San Francisco Ballet’s Nutcracker. Instead, he was stuck in a hospital bed with tubes stuck in his nose and drugs flowing through him, and tomorrow he was going be going back to an empty bed to bed alone.

A tear trickled down Sebastian’s face.

He wished Jay could have just waited to dump him until after the holidays. But Jay had wanted them to have the winter vacation to adjust to the break up, so their school wouldn’t suffer. He knew how important Sebastian’s grades were for business school applications one day. Jay was always so thoughtful about everything, even when he was sending Sebastian off a cliff.

The only reason why Sebastian wasn’t dead from alcohol poisoning right now was because of Jay, too. After hearing about Bill Smythe, Jay had called him a “functional alcoholic” - the kind who could have three loaded drinks a day and still manage to hold a high powered job down. Jay had taught Sebastian so much. The conversation had been sobering, especially when Jay reminded Sebastian that alcoholism had an inherited component. It now had Sebastian on the lookout for situations that might send him down a similar path.

But now he was stuck bleeding out with nothing to numb it.  It was excruciating, but if losing Jay wasn’t a reason to launch one into addiction, he didn’t know what was.

He had fucked up again. He had ruined his chance with Blaine, then ruined his chance with Jay too. He didn’t see how anyone else could come close to being worth the effort again. Blaine and Jay were so fucking rare and Sebastian had blown it. He had gone after them too soon: first Blaine, then Jay. He had gone after them before he had a fucking clue about what to do in a relationship. He had been impatient to have what he wanted, and too cocky to stop himself. It was how he’d always been, as his father had always told him he was.

After everyone had left campus, he couldn’t motivate himself to move or eat. He wouldn’t have packed if not for Rob and Karen. But eventually, he’d gotten his ass out bed. Thanks to Jay, he had been sober enough to realize that if he didn’t, he would end up paying off the dorm management to leave him alone when they closed the building for the break, and ultimately starving to death. After 24 hours of staring at the ceiling, he realized that if he didn’t move, he would end up becoming a rotting corpse before Rob came back.

He would have rotted because no one was going to come for him this time. No Sam was involved, so no Santana would come to sit in silence with him. Sebastian thought for a full minute, with mixed feelings, about how beautiful, crabby Santana had flown all the way from New York to sit with his sorry ass.

Nick, Karen and David had come, too.  And Jay had come. now none of them would come. Jay wasn’t coming. He wasn’t coming. He was never coming again, at least not in the same way he had been.

Sebastian’s tears dripped onto the pillowcase.

He wanted to call Jay so much. Jay had been a home for him even before they had started dating. He had been there for him during their first year, figuring out the Stanford terrain; he had been there while Sebastian had been navigating dating Blaine; he had been there when Sebastian fought with his father.

Most of all, he had been there after the Blaine disaster. Before that, Blaine had been the one who had always made things better. But when Sebastian couldn’t call Blaine, Jay had been there and made things better in his own way. Jay had literally picked Sebastian up when he was basically catatonic. Jay had taken him on a walk and made him move.

He was royally fucked. Now he couldn’t call Jay, for the same damned reason he couldn’t call Blaine.

 

WAIT. _**Could**_ he call Blaine now?

 

Maybe he could. Maybe it was OK now. A month had gone by since the last possibly-awkward email from the boy who had been everything. Hell, maybe that last email wasn’t even awkward, maybe it was just rushed. Blaine was probably perfectly fine about Jay. He and Jay had gotten along so well last spring, and anyway now Jay was a non-issue…

Blaine could makes things better.

Sebastian had almost forgotten to breathe as he considered it all. He took another breath and his weakened body let his heart take over. It was almost too much, the way he felt flooded with emotion, so much emotion that it ached. The thing was, he hadn’t let himself stop to think about how much he missed Blaine in a long, long time. God, he still missed him so fucking much.

He tried to move from his uncomfortable position in bed, but that caused a spasm of pain that made him groan. When the fuck was his next dose of painkillers? He was officially at rock bottom. He had never wanted someone so fucking much.

He made another painful whining sound and curled up more, but that made it worse. Fuck, he needed to call Blaine. Flinching hard from his reach, he grimaced and groped for his phone, dialing without thinking any more about it. Blaine’s number was still in his immediate recall.

Blaine blinked at the sight of his phone:

_ _

 

After one ring, Blaine picked up. “Sebastian?” he sounded surprised.

Sebastian’s heart was in his throat all of a sudden and his mind started to race. _Maybe this was a mistake. Shit, what if Blaine…_

“Sebastian?” Blaine wondered if Sebastian had pocket dialed him.

Sebastian finally spoke, since there was no more time to think. His body tensed as his anxiety seized him, which caused a sharp jab of pain in his arm. He cringed as a small sob cropped up in his hoarse and shaky voice:

 

“Is it...too soon?”

 

Blaine knew from the first two words that Sebastian was in trouble. It felt like his heart stopped and it took him a moment to comprehend what Sebastian had said. “No, it’s not too soon,” he replied with urgency. “Bas, what’s wrong? Are you hurt? Is everyone okay?” He started imagining the worst case scenarios: that Sebastian had been in an accident, that he was sick or worse, that his family was sick or worse, that one of the Warblers was sick or worse, that Santana was sick or worse, etc.

Sebastian heard the alarm in Blaine’s voice and he quickly wiped his tears, pain be damned. “I’m okay, I’m okay, everyone’s okay,” he said, sniffing and  clearing his throat. He rolled over to stare at the ceiling - there was literally no position in which he could be comfortable, so he gave up trying. He just lay there throbbing with pain - all kinds of pain. He could barely see straight, let alone think anymore. “I just...Jay and I...are over,” he said miserably.

Blaine sighed with relief - Sebastian wasn’t sick or hurt, he was okay, thank God he was okay. It took Blaine a second to find his composure again and wrap his head around what was happening. What was happening?

 

_Oh jeez...Jay._

 

It was like being in a surreal dream. Not that long ago he was trying to get used to the idea of Sebastian being Jay’s boyfriend. Now, already, this. He shook himself. “I’m so sorry,” he said earnestly. It was gratifying to realize that he really meant it. “That’s awful, Seb.” He wished he knew what else to say, but he knew better than to chatter when Sebastian was in pain.

Sebastian already felt a little better, just knowing Blaine was on the other end of the line. But he was still bleeding out. “We were only together for two months.“

Blaine found it easy to get back in the business of caring for Sebastian Smythe. It came so naturally - he just breathed in and out, quieting himself first, so he could soothe Sebastian without fussing in the way he knew his ex hated. “Yeah?” he asked gently.

Sebastian was staring at the light on a smoke detector now. “He left, two days ago,” he explained, in a monotone. “He wanted us to have Christmas break to get used to being broken up.”

After a long pause he seemed to finally remember that Blaine was there.  He looked worried, wondering what Blaine was going to say. “Is this weird, me talking to you about this?”

Blaine shook his head immediately, though he wasn’t 100% sure it wasn’t weird. It didn’t cause a sting, so that was a good sign. And he really liked Kevin, as more than a friend, so that must mean he had completely moved on. Anyway, any weirdness would have to be overcome because Sebastian needed him.

On top of that, it was doing him good, too. Hearing Sebastian’s voice, even as sad as it was right now, was a poultice to some part of his own heart. He clearly needed to be talking to Sebastian again, in any capacity. “No, no...it’s fine. Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“No,” Sebastian said automatically. “I’m just throwing myself a pity party and I wanted to invite you,” he said dully.

It was wrenching to hear Sebastian like this. All the spark, wit, spirit...was drained out of him. God, his poor Sebastian. He asked with great empathy, “Is there anything I can do?”

Blaine’s voice was as sweet as Sebastian remembered. Good god it was a massive cliche, but fuck almighty he had missed the sound of Blaine’s voice. He let a moment pass as he considered it all. “Distract me. Tell me about you. Are you done with finals?”

“No, we’re just starting them here.” Blaine couldn’t help asking another follow-up, even though he was supposed to be distracting. He was just so worried. “So if you’re done… are you in Paris?”

“No,” Sebastian replied, sounding listless. “Are you kidding me? My mother would be fluttering over me like Glinda in a Parisian peasant skirt. I’d end up biting her head off and then getting schooled by Nina. You do NOT want to get schooled by Nina.”

“So are you in Ohio? Wait...” Blaine racked his brain to reach back in his memory. “Did your father go on that cruise with Victor?”

Sebastian looked impressed, and it did him good to know that Blaine still remembered details about his life like that. “Nice recall, Valedictorian. Yeah, he did. And no, I’m not in the Fuckeye state, I’m staying at the Mark.”

“For how long?” Blaine’s brow was furrowed now.

“The whole break. I can’t deal with Ohio. I’d get guilted into going to my Aunt Laura’s and I’ll lose it if I have to see her and my weird ass, poser cousins this year. Plus Nina would give me those looks of hers, the ones where I know she wants to tell me what to do about something, but doesn’t because she refuses to parent me. After you and I broke up, I thought she was going to bore through me with the freaking judgmental looks.”

Blaine’s eyes softened. “She’s worried about you,” he said quietly. “The way I’m worried about you now. Don’t you think you should still see her? It’s Christmas.”

Sebastian groaned. “I don’t know, B. I’ll decide in a week.”

Blaine soothed, “Sure, sure. Sorry, you know me and Christmas. I just think you should be with…the portions of your family you can stand.”

Sebastian had to chuckle, even if it hurt his rib cage to do so. “That doesn’t sound anything like you. What the hell has happened to you while I wasn’t looking, Killer?” It was the most at ease he had sounded in weeks.

Blaine glowed at the use of the old nickname. “I got a little more practical, maybe. But don’t worry, I still own all of my Carpenters albums.”

Sebastian’s smile was fond. He had missed Blaine so much. “Don’t you remember that you are never to speak of those demon singers again? Creepy as fuck.”

Blaine laughed and it was a tonic to Sebastian’s heart. “Please,” Blaine teased. “You’ve missed them and my entire Christmas music collection.” Suddenly he recalled memories of the happy times last Christmas. He had been pushing those away since Thanksgiving. He started to ache, but he continued bravely. ”If you don’t come home for Nina, come home for us. Remember my mom said every Christmas you don’t spend in Paris, you would spend with us?”

Sebastian was silent, letting himself think about his Christmas with the Andersons for the first time in a long time.

Blaine had a brainstorm. He grabbed his IPad and found the proper song, by a group that Sebastian had always given him shit for loving so much. He played the IPad as loudly as he could near his Iphone and he began to sing, doing his best Hanson impression:

[ _Listen to “_ [ _Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) on our YouTube Playlist._ ](https://youtu.be/DcXrQ0zBxZo) _]_

_Christmas)_

_The snow's coming down_

_(Christmas)_

_I'm watching it fall_

_(Christmas)_

_Lots of people around_

_(Christmas)_

_Baby please come home_

_(Christmas)_

_The church bells in town_

_(Christmas)_

_All ringing in song_

_(Christmas)_

_Full of happy sounds_

_(Christmas)_

_Baby please come home_

 

_[Chorus]_

_They're singing "Deck The Halls"_

_But it's not like Christmas at all_

_I remember when you were here_

_And all the fun we had last year_

 

_(Christmas)_

_Pretty lights on the tree_

_(Christmas)_

_I'm watching them shine_

_(Christmas)_

_You should be here with me_

_(Christmas)_

_Baby please come home_

 

_[Chorus]_

_They're singing "Deck The Halls"_

_But it's not like Christmas at all_

_I remember when you were here_

_And all the fun we had last year_

 

_[Bridge]_

_(Christmas)_

_If there was a way_

_(Christmas)_

_I'd hold back these tears_

_(Christmas)_

_But it's Christmas day_

_(Please)_

_Please_

_(Please)_

_Please_

_(Please)_

_Please_

_(Please)_

_Please_

_(Please)_

_Please_

_(Please)_

_Please_

_Oh comin' home_

_ _

“Damn,” Sebastian said, hurting from chuckling so hard, “Some things never change. You’re still a piece of cheesey Pirate’s Booty intent on killing me with those Disney channel morons.”

And now he was letting himself think about Blaine’s ass for the first time in a long time. He said recklessly, “It’s a good thing we’re on the phone because I’d probably be mauling you for sex. Not because you’d be a rebound, but because you’re hot and you understand me. It’d be like...comfort sex.”

Blaine’s brow furrowed, but he sounded amused. “Yep, something things never change. You’re still the most inappropriate flirt I’ve ever met. Let’s get back to discussing Hanson.”

“Let’s not,” Sebastian said, smirking. “Anything but those mermaid Macy’s radio-bots.”

Blaine’s eyes twinkled. “You’re the one who wanted to be distracted,” he replied saucily.

Sebastian lapsed suddenly into silence.

Blaine wanted to kick himself for so stupidly bringing up Jay, even in a roundabout way. “I’m sorry, Seb...I didn’t think.”

Sebastian’s mood was dipping again. “It’s fine.”  

He was quiet for a full minute again before he spoke up, sounding morose again. “I failed him, B. Like I failed you.”

“You didn’t fail me. Or if you did, not any more than I failed you. It’s always a two way street,” Blaine asserted  kindly, his eyes wide with concern.  

Sebastian was silent again.

Blaine was a little too anxious to stay quiet this time. He hated that he had made Sebastian feel bad again. “All we can do is learn from our mistakes. Don’t hate yourself for this, Seb. You’re such a wonderful person - you have such a big heart and I’m sure you showed that to Jay. You tried your best, I know you must have.”

“But my best wasn’t good enough.  Not even for three months.”

Blaine replied kindly, “It didn’t work out, but at least you are getting out of it with your friendship. If Jay wanted you to adjust to not being together, he must want to still be friends.”

“I don’t want to be friends,” Sebastian pouted.

It was Blaine’s turn to be quiet. Sebastian joined him and they didn’t say anything for awhile.

Blaine decided to go back to his original task of distracting Sebastian. here was only so much processing one could do at a time, especially when it was something as painful as a breakup. He started to rattle on in what he hoped would be an amusing way. “Cooper wants to buy my dad a receding hairline prevention kit for Christmas. Very top of the line chemicals, I guess - it costs a mint.  My dad has a healthier head of hair and a better hairline than Coop’s, so my mom and I think Coop’s projecting. My mom’s dad didn’t have the best hairline, and I think that’s who you inherit that from. Which means I could be next, apparently…” He said, hoping Sebastian would find Cooper as  amusing as he used to.

Sebastian spoke dully. “Your hairline should be used to defend national borders. Your brother is ridiculous.”

“You are not wrong about that.” Blaine nodded, taking a deep breath to try again. “Sam’s buying Mary an expensive Christmas present, poor thing. He’s taking this harder than his breakups with Brittany or Mercedes. Tina’s giddy, she has a boyfriend this Christmas - a guy named Eddie from her history class. I wish you could have seen her acapella group sing - it is all girls and I know you normally don’t like girl groups, but they really pulled off the bass line and they were really good.” Music, as usual, felt like a lifeline. “Some of the girls are going to go caroling with us: three of them, Sam, Tina, Petey (our new housemate), and Harvey (our British friend who lives down the way). I hope you’ll come down and meet them, I’ve told them a lot about you…”

Blaine’s ramblings were working. Sebastian’s intelligent mind couldn’t help but start to free associate with a few of the topics Blaine brought up. But more soothing than any of the subjects was again, the sound of Blaine’s voice. It was mellifluous and calming, happy and peaceful, and everything Sebastian needed at the moment. He put Blaine on speaker and closed his eyes.

“...Sam and I share a bedroom…”

“Wait, what? You and Sam are sharing a bedroom?” Sebastian said faintly, his eyes were still closed. “Gross.How an Youn stand it, he is Su it, he is such a slob.”

“Not much worse than you,” Blaine replied, twinkling. “Though Sam spends a lot of time in the master bedroom, which we don’t keep any of our things in, out of respect to my parents. Cause they did buy the house, after all. The master bedroom is for them to sleep in when they come visit, and for guests.” Blaine smiled at the  pleasant scenario that came to mind. “So you’ll sleep there when  you come visit,” he said warmly. “Sam won’t even sleep in the bed. He just hangs out in there because there’s a good TV, and to give me space. He’s so thoughtful.”

Sebastian nodded and spoke without thinking. “So are you.”

Blaine was touched. Sebastian was in so much pain, but he still could stop and appreciate. “And so are you,” he said, looking sentimental. He smiled again, thinking of Sebastian visiting. “Tina’s new boyfriend is an econ major and when he’s done with it, he leaves his Wall Street Journal for me to read all the time. So you can read it when you come, too.”

Sebastian was growing fatigued again. The Wall Street Journal always made Sebastian think of Marc. After a brief pause he said quietly, “B?”

“Yes?”

“I’m wondering… are you sure you don’t mind me talking about Jay, or Marc? I mean really, wouldn’t it be weird? I never wanted to hear about Kurt.”

“You hate Kurt for more many other reasons besides the fact that he and I dated.”

“The fact that he and you were _engaged_.”

“Honestly, I kind of block that out most of the time,” Blaine said, chuckling at himself.

Sebastian smiled, surprised that Blaine could laugh at it all now. But he needed an answer to his line of inquiry. “So really, do I you really don’t mind me bringing up Jay? Or Marc?”

Blaine bit his lip. “Hmmmm...sure. Why don’t we see how it goes.”

“It seems like this whole...friends without benefits  thing it’s going to be awkward...” Sebastian said, sounding exhausted.

“Oh it's gonna be awkward,” Blaine sounded amused at the prospect, but then he tuned his voice soft and sweet. “But we’re going to be okay. You know why?

After a beat, they said together, a familiar refrain: “‘Cause we’re Seb and Blaine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do drop a note and let us know what you liked, what your wishlist is for the story, etc. We're about to start Act III of III finally! Thoughts on the new fellas in Blaine's life? What were the funniest and saddest parts for you? Thanks for reading! Merry Christmas.


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